Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Saiyuki Serial: Beautifully Broken Evolution ❯ 25 The First Step ( Chapter 25 )

Author's Notes: I don't own a damn thing here except the smutty idea. Rights to the characters, as always, remains with their creator.

 

Self-beta job here. Thanks goes to those who helped/inspired/prodded me along.

 

// indicates words in Dragon

 

25The First Step

 

~Hakkai~

 

We'd managed to have a little luck on our side when we stopped for the evening. An old monastery tucked away in the mountains we were passing through was still operating and they were delighted to have a Sanzo monk stay within their walls even if it was only for a night. At least, most of us thought it was a stroke of good fortune. Sanzo was not of the same opinion.

 

If I were a better man, I would've wanted to ease Sanzo's discomfort at the fawning attitude of the monks and agreed with him that we could find a place to stay a little further down the road. A place where they didn't care that he was a Sanzo monk and left him to his own devices. A place where he didn't have attendants dancing on his every word. A place where he could have Gojyo in his bed and not raise a fuss with the head monk.

 

I was a bad, bad man to get a giggle out of the highly annoyed look on Sanzo's face when he learned he'd have a room all to himself and only to himself.

 

As Sanzo's “servants” Goku, Gojyo and I were assigned tiny little rooms, more like cells really, at the end of the hall from Sanzo's room. We were to be available should Sanzo call for us but, I'd already seen the monks drawing straws on who would get the privilege of serving the great Sanzo. We wouldn't be needed that evening at all.

 

Sanzo muttered vague death threats at the world in general as he stalked past me and headed to his room after the lovely supper prepared in honour of his visit. The looks he gave the monks who scrambled to keep up with him should have made them back off. They'd quickly learn to leave Sanzo alone or somebody was going to end up getting shot before our little visit was over.

 

“Please remember it's rude to shoot your hosts, Sanzo,” I called after him.

 

Gojyo snorted smoke out of his nose and went into a coughing fit when Sanzo gave me the finger without slowing his march to his assigned room. The monks following Sanzo hesitated and looked between him and us nervously. They weren't sure if I was kidding or not. I wasn't. I shook my head when they turned and hurried after Sanzo apparently deciding that I must be teasing because a Sanzo would never use a gun. I rose from my seat and inclined my head to both Gojyo and Goku.

 

“I think I'm going to have a quick bath and then head to bed. We had a long day today and tomorrow promises to be more of the same. Hakuryuu is tired as well. I'll see you in the morning.”

 

Gojyo waved and Goku chimed in with good night as he stuffed the last of the cookies into his mouth. I wasn't really very tired. I'd realized after being shown to my little room that I'd have the opportunity for a little privacy with Hakuryuu. Excitement made me smile when I collected a few toiletries and headed to the bathroom. Hakuryuu knew what the private room, with a sturdy lock on the door, meant. He fairly vibrated with anticipation on my shoulder. He made little cooing noises and nuzzled my hair, his tongue flicking out to tease along the edges of the limiters on my ear.

 

By the time I'd cleaned up and given Hakuryuu a quick bath as well, we were both eager to get back to our room. No sooner did the door close behind me and the lock get thrown, Hakuryuu transformed and stood in front of me in all his naked glory. I smiled with real pleasure and he allowed me to look my fill.

 

Hakuryuu made a very cute dragon. He also made a very beautiful young man. I suppose I should've been bothered by just how young he looked. I'd voiced my concerns on that score until Hakuryuu told me how old he really was. Next to Goku, he was the oldest one of our group at fifty-two years old. While that was probably still young for a dragon, his eyes were far older than that and I let that look soothe my conscience.

 

“Turn around and let me look at you. I haven't had a real chance to do that since… well… never I guess,” I said with a small frown.

 

Hakuryuu smiled and gave me a licking kiss before doing as I'd asked. Most times between us had been, of necessity, rushed and I hadn't had the opportunity to explore his body like I wanted to. I'd seen the tracery of his wings and tail on his body only once before. I'd felt the silky soft hair on his spine when I held him close to me but I'd never really got the chance to look at it and touch it like I wanted to.

 

Silvery lines on his back from shoulder to hip looked like an amazingly detailed tattoo of wings. Each breath he took gave the illusion of the wings actually moving. I simply watched for several minutes in fascination before reaching out to lightly trace the edges of the design. Hakuryuu sighed softly and said something in Dragon I didn't understand. I assumed it was either permission or encouragement to touch him further.

 

My fingers drifted to the hair on his spine. It was softer than kitten fur and about as long. I combed my finger tips through it and Hakuryuu subtly pushed against my hand demanding more. I stroked my hand from the base of his skull all the way down his spine to the cleft of his ass where the silky mane ended. Hakuryuu groaned and his head dropped forward with the quiet word for `yes' in Dragon.

 

“You like this, Hakuryuu?” I asked as I repeated the slow sweep of my hand.

 

//Yes,// Hakuryuu said with a small shiver. I smiled. I'd just learned something new that my lover really seemed to enjoy. It was something I'd be doing again for him.

 

My hand trailed down over the firm roundness of his ass, tracing the outline of his tail that started where the hair ended. The silvery lines wound around his thigh and calf to curl at his ankle, the tip of the tail ending on the top of his foot. Like the design of the wings, the tail looked real and seemed to twist and move when Hakuryuu shifted his weight.

 

“You're really quite beautiful you know,” I said letting my fingers glide over the marks on his skin.

 

Hakuryuu made some kind of protest in Dragon and turned to face me. A smile teased my mouth at the pale blush on his cheeks from my compliment. I ran my fingers over the faint pattern of scales on his cheeks before moving my hands to the small horns that peeked out from his hair. Hakuryuu closed his eyes in pleasure when I rubbed my fingers around the bases. His horns felt warm under my fingers, concentric rings giving them a slightly ridged feel.

 

“You enjoy my touch here, too?” I asked with a smile. I knew he did. I felt satisfaction seeing the intense look of delight he'd give me when I asked after his pleasure.

 

//Yes,// he answered cupping my face in his hands and pressing his lips to mine in a soft kiss.

 

Hakuryuu's thumbs brushed over my cheeks and up to my temples. He removed my glasses and placed them on the bedside table. He touched my face gently as if learning my features. The smile he gave me was filled with happiness and pleasure. He tugged on the loose tie of the robe I'd put on after our bath, sliding his hands inside to brush lightly against my skin. Hakuryuu said something in Dragon then mouthed the word. I watched him repeat the word several times and listened to how he was saying the word in Dragon. When I thought I understood what he was saying, I ventured a guess.

 

“Good?” I asked with a confident note in my voice. I'd gotten much better at reading his lips but learning Dragon was a slow process when we only had private moments stolen here and there. Most often, we were much too anxious to enjoy the pleasure of each other's body to want to spend the time teaching me Dragon.

 

//Yes, good,// Hakuryuu said with a pleased smile. He grazed my nipple with a long fingernail, //Good?//

 

“Yes, very good, Hakuryuu. Do it again,” I demanded softly.

 

Hakuryuu laughed quietly and did as I'd asked. A shiver moved down my spine when he pinched my nipple hard between his nails. I couldn't help the small moan that left me at the sharp little pain. I'd never said anything to Hakuryuu about wanting to try rougher play in our love making or how much I'd liked the little bit I'd done with Sanzo and Gojyo. There hadn't really been an opportunity to discuss things like that but maybe, since we were nearly guaranteed privacy this evening, letting him know I'd like that sort of thing would be a good idea. Although, going by his still slightly testy reaction to Sanzo and Gojyo, it'd probably be in my best interests to keep to myself any mention of that incident with them that'd sparked a renewed interest in me for a little gentle pain during sex.

 

“Hakuryuu? I'd like… that is… if you'd…” I trailed off, a blush starting to colour my cheeks. Making the decision to tell him I'd like some roughness in our love making was easy. Actually voicing those desires might be harder than I'd thought.

 

Hakuryuu raised an eyebrow and said something in Dragon that sounded like a question. I assumed he was asking me `what'. He waited for me to answer and continued to stroke a hand over my ribs. When his nails scored lightly over my sides, I slowly let out a shuddery breath. Understanding dawned in Hakuryuu's eyes at my reaction. He scored his nails down my ribs again and smiled broadly at my groan of pleasure.

 

//Good?//

 

“Gods yes, that feels good,” I said hungry for more of those touches.

 

Hakuryuu said something new in Dragon and mouthed the word. I pushed subtly against his hand but he held still and repeated the word again while looking at me expectantly. I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't interested in learning new words right now. I wanted more of those sharp touches now that he knew I'd like them. We could play twenty questions later. Hakuryuu repeated the word in Dragon and mouthed the word again, this time, adding the prickly feel of his nails pressing on my skin.

 

“Hakuryuu,” I said moving my hands over his to push his nails harder against me. He resisted me easily, showing once again that he was much stronger than he looked. He repeated the Dragon word again, making it sound like a question this time. My eyes widened when I clued into what he was saying.

 

“That's more, right? You're asking me if I want more.”

 

Hakuryuu nodded. //More?//

 

//Yes. More. Good,// I replied with a smile. Hakuryuu smiled back. He held up a finger and I surprised myself with the impatient little noise that came from my throat. “What? One? One what?”

 

//No,// he said before holding up his hand in front of me and saying something else in Dragon. He moved his hand towards me, palm facing me and repeated the word carefully as if it was important I understood this particular word. I pursed my lips and watched his mouth form a word.

 

“Stop?” I guessed.

 

//Yes. Stop.//

 

Hakuryuu waited for something from me. Heat coloured my cheeks when I realized why he was teaching me that word in Dragon. I'd read about rough play and knew about safety words in case things got too intense. Stop was never a word used because the person saying it might not really mean stop but if I were to say it in Dragon, I supposed it would work just as well as say… pistachio or whatever else two people wanted to use.

 

“I didn't think you'd know… I mean, I know you're older than you look but I would have never guessed that dragons…” I started to wonder if blushing could be terminal.

 

//No,// Hakuryuu said with a chuckle. He pointed to me and then him, stroked the jade dragon pendant I now wore constantly, made a vague hand gesture and shrugged his shoulders. My eyes widened in surprise when I worked out what his little pantomime meant.

 

“You mean, we…. We used to…. When we knew each other before we… we did things like this? You remember us doing things like this?”

 

//Yes. Good,// Hakuryuu said with a slow smile and a careful raking of his nails down my ribs. I shivered and a moan of delight left me.

 

“I think I might be jealous that you remember such things and I don't,” I said surprised to realize it was true. “I suppose we'll just have to make some new memories for me, won't we?”

 

Hakuryuu laughed and kissed me hard, nipping my bottom lip before he pulled back from the kiss. He pushed the robe from my shoulders barely waiting for it to hit the floor before he was turning me and pushing me to lie face down on the bed. I went without protest. I trusted Hakuryuu. He'd been the sensible one by letting me know that he knew how to play the rougher games responsibly. I'd enjoyed the sharp touch of his claws on me but I'd also enjoyed the sting to my hand when I'd spanked Gojyo along with Sanzo. At some point, I'd have to see if Hakuryuu was up to being on the receiving end of that kind of thing.

 

I gasped at the unexpected swat to my ass. It was hard enough to make my skin tingle but not so hard that it actually hurt. My cock twitched and I squirmed a little, enjoying the feel of it rubbing against the crisp sheets on the bed. Hakuryuu lightly ran his nails up and down my spine making my breath shudder out of me. Another hard smack landed on my ass and I groaned softly. Hakuryuu dragged his nails down the outside of my thighs, the sensation not quite painful but not ticklish either. I sucked in a sharp breath when he delicately licked the back of my knee before nipping the tender skin. The breath left me slowly when he dragged his tongue along the inside of my thigh and up the cleft of my ass.

 

A moan was pulled from me when I felt Hakuryuu's sharp teeth bite into the flesh of my ass. I knew I'd have a mark from that but the knowledge that I'd wear the impression of his teeth in such an intimate place pushed my desire higher. The sheet was bunched in my clenched fists and when he laid another hard slap to my ass directly over the bite he'd just made, I cried out in startled pleasure.

 

//More?// Hakuryuu asked softly. His tongue traced the edge of my ear over the metal of my limiters before I felt the quick sting of his teeth nipping the top of my ear.

 

“Yes, more. Please,” I groaned.

 

Hakuryuu chuckled and I felt the mattress shift when he moved back. His hands circled my wrists and pulled my arms behind my back, forcing me to let go of the sheet. He crossed my wrists and held them in place with one hand against the small of my back. Excitement surged through me at the dominating move and I wriggled with pleasure under his hold. The last time Hakuryuu had done such a thing, I'd enjoyed it immensely. Hakuryuu growled low in his throat and began giving me a series of hard bites across my shoulders, upper arms and the back of my neck. I moaned in delight and twisted against his hold, enjoying the slight strain in my arms when I did that.

 

//No,// Hakuryuu said in a commanding voice I never would've guessed he possessed before delivering a stinging slap to my ass.

 

My eyes went wide in surprise and my cock throbbed in reaction. That slap hurt but felt good at the same time. I inhaled sharply and the musky aroma of our desire filled my nose. Wanting more of what Hakuryuu was giving me, I struggled against his hold on me. An even harder swat to my ass made me suck in a quick breath and my muscles clench. I was enjoying this little dominance play very much. Hakuryuu smoothed his hand over the burning sensation of my skin making me squirm. He leaned over me and nipped my shoulder hard. I shuddered and squeezed my eyes closed as a tiny moan of pleasure worked its way from my throat.

 

//More?//

 

There was a satisfied tone in Hakuryuu's voice. He knew I wanted more. I was caught between wanting to say yes to get more of the rough play and remaining silent to see what he'd do to drag an answer out of me. Apparently, I'd taken too long to answer and the choice was taken from me; which made my pleasure even stronger. Hakuryuu growled low at my silence and clamped his jaws over the back of my neck. Dragon sharp teeth pierced my skin and a startled cry was forced from me. My body jerked reflexively and Hakuryuu's teeth sunk a little deeper. I could faintly smell my blood and my hands curled into fists at the suddenly tight feel in my balls. Arousal speared through my body.

 

//Stop,// I said as my body tensed under him and I fought against the orgasm that seemed to rush at me out of nowhere.

 

Hakuryuu released me so fast, it took a moment for my brain to process that my hands were free and he no longer had his teeth clamped on the back of my neck. Standing at the very edge of release, I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking him to resume what he'd been doing when I told him to stop. Yes, I wanted to come; was almost desperate for it. Yet at the same time, I wanted to stretch out this new facet of our relationship as long as possible.

 

Hakuryuu's domination of me, the slight pain of his teeth pressing into my neck, my restricted movement and the scent of blood had been unbelievably arousing to me. Hakuryuu sat at the edge of the bed and when I turned my head to look at him, I saw apology in his eyes. I pushed myself into a seated position and surreptitiously wiped the drool I could feel from the corner of my mouth. Oh yes, I'd enjoyed the little power play much more than I would've ever anticipated. My cock and balls ached from denied release and I needed several slow, deep breaths before I felt calm enough to speak.

 

“I'm fine, Hakuryuu. You weren't hurting me. Well, not like you think you were. The problem was what you did felt much too good. I… I was very close to the edge and I didn't want our play to be over that fast. I didn't know I'd enjoy a rough touch that much.”

 

Hakuryuu looked at me for several long seconds before a slow smile spread across his face. He leaned over the edge of the bed and retrieved the sash from my bath robe. He touched my face gently and kissed me before pulling back and holding the sash up. It took me a moment to make the connection between the sash and what he intended to use it for. When I did, a surge of excitement had me licking my lips and nodding my head in agreement. I held my arms out to Hakuryuu and felt a mixture of nerves and anticipation swirl through my belly. Regardless of what Hakuryuu remembered us doing together before, this was all new to me.

 

//No good, stop. Yes?// Hakuryuu said with an intense look as he bound my wrists with the sash.

 

“Yes, I'll tell you to stop if I'm not comfortable.”

 

Hakuryuu gave me a stern look but nodded his head. I got the idea that if he thought I'd had enough, regardless of what I said, he'd put a stop to this kinky play of ours. The care Hakuryuu was taking with me and his concern for my pleasure and safety made me feel warm inside and very loved. I was slowly coming to realize just how deeply he felt for me.

 

He pushed me to my back and pulled my arms to my thighs. He grasped my ankles and pushed my legs towards my chest, forcing me to bend my knees. Hakuryuu then tied my wrists to my ankles putting me in a position that was open and submissive. I gave an experimental tug and found that no matter how I moved, I was spread and available for whatever Hakuryuu wanted to do. A tiny shiver of eagerness moved through me. While feeling exposed and vulnerable, I also felt deliciously erotic under the very appreciative gaze of Hakuryuu. I wasn't sure what he was going to do but I didn't expect him to straddle my chest and start brushing his cock against my lips. He said a word in Dragon that sounded like a command. My cock twitched against my belly from the tone of his voice. He repeated the word and gently squeezed my jaw open, releasing his grip when I did what he wanted.

 

“Open? Is that it?” I asked, my lips moving against his cock as I spoke.

 

Hakuryuu nodded. //Open.// He said another new word in Dragon and stuck two fingers into his mouth and sucked hard on them. I licked my lips at the erotic sight and savoured the smoky flavour of Hakuryuu's pre-come smeared on them. Simply tasting the little bit I did spread excitement through me. He removed his fingers from his mouth and repeated the Dragon word again, popping his fingers back into his mouth and hollowing his cheeks as he sucked.

 

“Suck?” I guessed pleased with myself when he nodded and let his fingers slip from his mouth to slide down the skin of his throat, leaving a slick trail I found myself wanting to lick clean.

 

//Open. Suck,// Hakuryuu demanded teasing my lips again with his cock.

 

I opened my mouth eagerly. I loved the idea of Hakuryuu demanding I service him while I was bound and unable to refuse. The notion was wickedly erotic and made my cock twitch and throb. I'd have loved to take my dick in hand while I pleasured Hakuryuu with my mouth but, with him tying my wrists to my ankles, I was prohibited from doing that. From the look in Hakuryuu's eyes, he knew what I wanted and understood how mentally thrilling I'd find it to be denied my pleasure while giving him his.

 

I hadn't taken Hakuryuu's cock into my mouth very often. Not because I didn't want to. Quite the contrary. I enjoyed the feel of Hakuryuu sliding his dick between my lips as part of our fore play. Although, much to Hakuryuu's embarrassment, that type of intense sensation was usually too much for him after what generally amounted to an entire day's worth of my fondling him as I drove. Generally speaking, we were usually pressed for time alone and more than one encounter per night was, regrettably, a rarity.

 

That wouldn't be the case tonight.

 

Hakuryuu's cock filled my mouth and I made muffled sounds of pleasure. He seemed to understand how much I was able to take without gagging and adjusted his thrusts to make it comfortable for me yet still give me the pleasurable sensation of so much in my mouth. He caught my eye with his and smiled slowly at me as I fervently worked him. His hands trailed over his own chest, stopping to tease and pinch his nipples erect before continuing further down his body. He cupped his balls, rolling and pulling on them lightly. I wanted to do that for him but my bound hands prevented me. I ended up gripping my own ankles and subtly pulling my legs wider apart while rolling my hips. My neglected cock twitched against my belly as I pleasured Hakuryuu and I was torn between wanting him to touch me to relieve some of the ache and enjoying the denial of touch where I wanted it. Watching Hakuryuu fondle himself while I sucked his cock was a bigger turn on for me than I could have imagined.

 

I licked and suck his cock, enjoying the sounds of Hakuryuu's pleasure that were getting louder and closer together. A protest left my lips when he suddenly withdrew from my mouth. His fingers now pressed hard behind his balls, preventing the orgasm he'd been on the verge of having. A light sheen of sweat slicked his skin and his chest was rising and falling rapidly. The pupils of his eyes were so large as to leave just a golden rim of colour around the black. The red of his eyes darkened to a shade I only saw when he was very aroused and nearing release. I couldn't seem to help the smirk that appeared on my face. My oral skills were getting better and better the more I practiced them. Hakuryuu noticed my smirk and raised an eyebrow at me. He moved off me to sit by my hip and proceeded to lick my belly and chest with long, leisurely swipes of that wicked dragon tongue of his.

 

A shiver travelled over me at the first few strokes before I sighed in pleasure and relaxed. A soft groan was pulled from me when gentle bites were added between the licks. Before long, Hakuryuu had me panting and twisting as I tried to get him to lick and nibble on certain body parts that he was very carefully avoiding, much to my frustration. I wanted to demand he apply a little lip service himself but I didn't want to beg for it. At least, not so soon after he started his delicious tongue bath of my skin. The gentle brush of his hair over the sensitive skin of my cock was arousing me more than I would've thought possible and I wasn't sure if it was deliberate on his part or not. Knowing my devious lover, it probably was.

 

Hakuryuu took his time teasing me with possible touches. That in itself was a kind of torture I was finding very enjoyable. He moved between my bent and spread legs, supporting himself on his hands as he laved my chest and placed little love bites close to where I wanted them but not quite exactly where I felt they were most needed. My breath was coming in pants from the anticipation he was building from the licking and biting as well as the brushing of his cock over my balls and against the cleft of my ass. Before long, I felt him nip a pattern over the skin of my neck. Knowing what usually came after he marked me like that, my entire body arched into his and I groaned his name. He chuckled softly and gave one final lick to my throat before I felt him move slightly away.

 

I shifted on the bed, spreading my legs even wider in unspoken invitation. When Hakuryuu didn't settle himself between my thighs and enter me as I expected, I squinted and focused on his slightly blurry form sitting calmly between my legs as if he had all the time in the world. He devoured me with his eyes and my cock responded eagerly, twitching and leaking pre-come under his intense stare. Wordless sounds of protest left my mouth when he still didn't move and I pulled hard on the ties binding my wrists to my ankles. The sash refused to give and my eyes widened slightly. That I was actually firmly tied up for Hakuryuu's pleasure never even occurred to me. I'd assumed the bonds would give way if I really tried to get free. Excitement curled tight in my belly and I moaned at the unexpected delight of being well and truly spread for my lover's pleasure. I gasped out a sharp noise of surprise and relief when I felt his tongue wriggle into my hole.

 

Sweat slicked my skin as I twisted against my restraints and encouraged Hakuryuu to continue with his tongue fucking. The skin of my cock felt hot against my belly and my balls were slowly tightening. My release wasn't far off and I wanted it at the same time that I wanted to hold it off to enjoy more of the pleasure Hakuryuu was giving me. Wanting release won out over keeping it at bay. I squeezed my eyes shut and bit my lip hard, waiting for the rush of orgasm to wash through me. I yelled in denial when Hakuryuu abruptly stopped his oral pleasuring, cutting off the sensation I needed to find release. His nails teased up and down the insides of my thighs making me squirm and try to press my poor, neglected cock into his hands. Not once had he actually touched my dick yet, I felt like all he'd need to do was drag a finger down my length and I'd be lost.

 

“Hakuryuu, please,” I groaned in a low voice. Pride be damned. I was now willing to beg for what I wanted.

 

//More?//

 

“Yes, more. I want more touches. More everything. I need to come. Now.”

 

Hakuryuu stared at me speculatively for several seconds before a crafty look that I probably should have been wary of entered his eyes. He shrugged his shoulders and said “okay” in Dragon. Raising himself up on his knees, he stroked his erection slowly a few times, smirking when I licked my lips at the action. He positioned himself and gave his hips a quick jerk. My back bowed at the sudden entry and the fiery burn. The sting faded quickly leaving me aware that Hakuryuu had only pushed the head of his cock inside me. I made wordless sounds of encouragement and pushed my hips up trying to get him to enter me further. Hakuryuu inched his cock into me the barest amount before pulling back to his original position. He repeated the extremely shallow thrusts several times, earning him breathy moans of pleasure from me along with pleas to stop teasing me.

 

I was breathing raggedly and starting to feel a little desperate for release. I'd no idea how Hakuryuu was managing to hold off his own desires. He was usually as frantic as I was to reach completion. He leaned over me, slowly pressing his body to mine, his cock gradually sliding deeper. When we were pressed chest to chest and his dick fully buried in my ass, he licked my lips and gave me a devilish smile.

 

//More?//

 

I jerked my hips against his. “For god's sake, Hakuryuu, yes, more. I want more. Stop tormenting me and move, please. I don't care how you do it, but let me come.”

 

Hakuryuu grinned at me, hooked his hands around my shoulders and started a hard fast rhythm of thrusts that soon had the headboard thumping against the stone wall. My mind spun as my orgasm started to build again. Noises of pleasure escaped me. Hakuryuu's breath rasped in my ear and he told me he loved me in a passion heavy voice just before I felt the stinging bite of his teeth on the edge of my ear making me shudder in delight and groan “yes”. He growled low in his throat and moved his head back so his face was once again in my line of vision.

 

I saw the gold metal of one of my limiters held delicately between his teeth and anticipation in his eyes.

 

I felt my teeth lengthen into fangs.

 

My vision shifted and became clearer as if I was wearing my glasses.

 

My hair suddenly brushed my shoulders.

 

Scents and sounds sharpened tenfold. I could smell my arousal as well as Hakuryuu's to the point that it was nearly a taste on my tongue. The faintest tinge of blood in the air teased my nose and made my desire leap beyond anything I'd yet experienced. I was aware of an almost hypnotic warbling at the very edges of my hearing that was coming from Hakuryuu. The hard snap of his hips, driving his cock into me and rubbing hard on my pleasure center over and over caused my back to arch and a howl to burst from me as my twice denied orgasm finally hit me with more power than I'd ever felt before.

 

I thrashed under Hakuryuu, jerking against the bonds holding me open to my lover as my cock spurted between our bellies. Hakuryuu shoved his shoulder against my mouth, growling something in Dragon into my ear. Unable to stop myself, I bit him, drawing blood and a shuddery groan of deep pleasure from him. Hakuryuu slammed his hips to my ass one last time, his teeth breaking the skin of my neck as his cock spurted inside me. A low growl of satisfaction left my throat from the feel of him reaching completion and the taste of his blood in my mouth. My cock twitched between our bellies at the sharp, erotic pain of his teeth, the sign of domination and possession wringing one final, nearly painful spurt of seed from me.

 

With his release, Hakuryuu collapsed to lie on my chest, breathing hard and lazily licking my throat and cheek. The warbling I'd heard earlier shifted tones into a contented, soothing sound. My pleasured haze was slowly leaving my mind and I realized with a horrified start what'd just happened.

 

“What have I done?” I whispered panic starting to grow in my chest.

 

Hakuryuu raised his head and looked at me, smiling softly before licking my lips. Deep satisfaction was in his face and he looked entirely too pleased with himself. I could clearly see the vicious bite I'd given him on his shoulder. His tongue teased my mouth, playing over the points of my fangs before dipping inside to touch my tongue.

 

I twisted my head away from his kiss, my heart thumping heavily. He couldn't know what manner of creature he was inviting into his bed by removing one of my limiters. He'd never really seen me when I turned. I'd been very careful to keep that from not only him but my friends as well. I was a monster. A demon. I was startled when I felt the sharp prick of claws on my cheeks as he forced me to face him. Confusion and annoyance was creeping into his eyes at my turning away from his kiss.

 

//I love you,// he said intently adding another word in Dragon and a gesture with his free hand to indicate my entire body.

 

Hakuryuu narrowed his eyes at me. His cock slipped from my body and I couldn't help the small sound of protest. He held himself over me, staring hard at me for several seconds. I tugged on the restraints finding that I still couldn't get loose on my own unless I was willing to hurt myself to get free. A little growl of frustration trickled past my lips and my eyes widened in dismay at the very youkai sound before I squeezed my eyes shut. Hakuryuu wouldn't possibly want to still share a bed with me now. Not once he really thought about what I was and what I became without the limiters. I wasn't even aware of the tear that slid down my cheek until I felt Hakuryuu's tongue lick it up.

 

“Without the limiters, I'm a monster. Put the limiter back on me. Please, Hakuryuu,” I said with a little desperation in my voice. I refused to open my eyes and see the realization dawning in his face of what I was.

 

//No,// he said softly distress in his tone. //I love you. Mine. Good,// he repeated the other word in Dragon as well sounding a little frustrated when I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me.

 

My eyes opened in shock when I felt the bed shift and the familiar weight of Hakuryuu in dragon form settle on my chest. I didn't understand why he'd just transformed. He never did that when we were guaranteed to be alone for a substantial period of time. What was he up to? What possible purpose would his becoming a dragon at that moment serve?

 

//I love you. Mine. You mine.//

 

He flew up to hover beside the bed changing shape yet again and my eyes widened. I'd never seen him look as he did now. He'd become my humanoid lover again but he retained the wings and tail of his dragon form making him truly look inhuman. I'd had no idea he could alter his humanoid appearance like that. He wore an expression of extreme irritation and it was all directed at me. I wasn't sure why he looked annoyed with me when he should've been looking appalled at what he'd nearly let loose. My body turned traitor on me and noticed quite vigorously that he looked utterly gorgeous in that form; like some kind of fierce god ready to do battle. I completely blamed my youkai self for the rapid hardening of my cock and the depraved thought that I'd like to have sex with him when he looked so not human.

 

Words in Dragon poured from his mouth in an angry tone as he gestured to me and then himself. His tirade went on for several minutes as he fanned the air with his wings and his tail flicked from side to side in obvious exasperation. My mind was scrambling to understand why he seemed angry with me. He said something further in Dragon that sounded suspiciously like a swear word and climbed between my spread legs. Proving I was a depraved, sex-crazy youkai, my heart pounded in my chest with anticipation.

 

//Stop? No good?// he asked in an angry tone with a gesture to his current form. His cock rubbed against my sensitized hole making my breath catch. My hips tilted automatically to accept him into my body.

 

I could smell the potential for violence in the air mingling with the traces of blood from when we'd bitten each other. Once again, my eyes were drawn to the wound I'd made on his shoulder. I felt horrible that I'd hurt him but, the urge to lick the drying blood from his skin was unbelievably strong and erotic. My tongue flicked out over suddenly dry lips at the idea of tasting the coppery tang of his blood again. I should have been disgusted with myself for allowing my youkai senses and impulses to taint my desire but all I could seem to concentrate on was my growing arousal and Hakuryuu's returning erection that pressed so teasingly against my hole.

 

Judging by Hakuryuu's reaction, soft sounds that were Dragon escaped me as my hips seemed to undulate without my permission. I'd no idea what I was saying but whatever it was, pleased him and cooled some of the ire in his eyes. He said something back to me and I felt more than heard a rough rumble in his chest that made my heart speed in anticipation. His cock, already pressing firmly for entrance to my stretched hole, slid smoothly into me wringing a moan of intense pleasure from me. Hakuryuu gripped my chin tightly and pushed his face close to mine. I could see need and possession in his inhuman eyes. The look he was giving me also pleaded with me to understand what he was trying to tell me.

 

//I love you,// he gestured to my body and repeated the Dragon word again.

 

He thrust hard and rapidly, surprising me with the force he was using. He wasn't hurting me. On the contrary. His overly aggressive love making was incredibly arousing, shoving me roughly towards orgasm with only a few strokes. He growled and bit my neck and shoulders over and over again making me moan and writhe under him. I started biting him back, drawing blood from him as he was from me. Sharp nails raked down my sides increasing my pleasure. I jerked against the sash still holding me bound, wanting to return the hot sensation of nails dragging roughly across skin. My frustrated snarl at being unable to get free turned into a whine of pleasure when my struggles served to spread me wider to Hakuryuu. When release found us, we were straining against each other, snapping and growling fiercely, harsh words in Dragon coming from both of us.

 

I lay panting under Hakuryuu's weight. My entire body tingled from the intensity of what we'd just shared. I could smell the musky aroma of his release and taste the coppery tang of his blood on my tongue. Satisfaction filled me until my mind processed the violence of what we'd done to each other and I was reminded once again that Hakuryuu'd removed one of my limiters. As much as I was enjoying the roughness between us, I couldn't let this continue. I'd end up hurting him when that was the very last thing I ever wanted to do.

 

“Release me, Hakuryuu,” I said softly but firmly. We needed to talk about what'd just happened; what could have happened if I hadn't been bound.

 

He gave me a wary look at the tone of my voice and reluctantly moved off me to do as I'd asked. A few quick flicks of his fingers and my hands were once again free. I sat up, found my limiter in the tangle of the bed sheets and slipped it back in place with a tiny sigh of relief. Hakuryuu watched me, his expression unreadable. Sometime between his untying me and my putting the limiter back on, his wings and tail disappeared. I kept my disappointment over that to myself as I'd immensely enjoyed the look of him in humanoid form with wings. Obviously, I was much more of a deviant than I'd thought possible.

 

I sat on the bed suddenly feeling much more nervous than I had moments ago. Hakuryuu sat beside me and slowly reached for my hand. He made a small sound of relief when I let him clasp my hand tightly in his. I absently noted the livid red marks around my wrists that would likely turn to colourful bruises the next day. I probably had matching ones on my ankles. A little flutter of pleasure stirred in my belly at knowing how I got them and I made the completely irrational decision not to heal them. The marks would serve as a reminder of both the very intense, pleasurable love making as well as what could've happened if I'd truly let my youkai self out.

 

If I hadn't been bound, I would've probably injured Hakuryuu more than I already had. I sneaked a blurry-eyed peek at him under cover of my bangs and swallowed hard. Guilt threatened to swamp me at my youkai induced behaviour and the damage I'd done. Hakuryuu's neck, shoulders and upper chest were covered in bite marks. One or two of them were still bleeding sluggishly. Disgust at myself welled up inside me. I needed to apologise to Hakuryuu for what I'd done, heal him and then make him promise never to remove my limiters again. Taking a deep breath, I started my combination explanation and apology.

 

“The limiters are all that keep me from falling victim to the minus wave and are the only things that keep my youkai at bay. I'm very dangerous without them in place and even one missing is enough to make me hurt people like I've done to you. Hurting you as I have, I'm so very sorry and no apology on my part will ever be enough,” I said in a low voice not looking at Hakuryuu as I spoke. I wanted to get all this out before I lost my nerve.

 

“Each time I remove the limiters, there's a chance I'll lose myself to my demon side and not make it back. That frightens me terribly. I've told Sanzo to kill me should that happen and I know he'll do it without a moment's hesitation. I won't allow myself to hurt my friends, or you, should I go crazy. I don't like it but there's precious little I can do about it except keep the limiters on and pray that I don't turn into one of the mad youkai currently roaming the land. You've seen a little bit of what I become by removing one of my limiters. Please don't do that again, Hakuryuu. I didn't want to hurt you but I couldn't seem to stop myself. I'm not a man or at least not the man you think I am. I'm a monster, Hakuryuu.”

 

I was surprised by Hakuryuu's sharp burst of laughter. I looked at him, not understanding why he seemed amused when I hadn't said anything funny. I was being very serious. I was terrified of loosing myself in youkai madness and hurting or even killing my friends. Hakuryuu cupped my face in his hands. Gentle understanding and humour was in his eyes. He repeated the Dragon word he'd said to me earlier, mouthing the word until I understood. He then added another Dragon word, repeating it until I caught on to that as well.

 

//I love you. All you. All good,// he kissed me gently on the lips and pointed to himself. //Monster, yes?//

 

I shook my head no. He didn't understand how dangerous what he'd done could've been. “It's not the same thing, Hakuryuu. You were born a dragon. You're not a monster. You just are. I'm different. I made myself this way. Becoming a youkai was my punishment for seeking revenge as I did. This… problem was my fault.”

 

//Love hard good. Hard good,// he said drawing out the last word with a dreamy little sigh touching some of the bite marks I'd made. //Okay, yes? Good. More hard,//

 

My face heated with a fiery blush when I finally made the connection that he'd actually enjoyed the brutal nature of our last encounter. And that he'd like to do it again. Judging from his expression and happy sigh, I made the logical assumption that he wouldn't want me healing his wounds anymore than I wanted to heal mine. I tried not to dwell on how much I liked the idea of that. Even with the limiter back in place, I still liked the idea of another rough session like we'd just had. I felt a little defeated on the inside when I realized that not all of my behaviour could be blamed on my youkai self.

 

//Love all. All. All same. All monster. All good. I. Love. All. You. Okay?// Hakuryuu said with a hard squeeze to my hand.

 

He cupped my chin and forced my face up to his. I slid my gaze away from his eyes only to have him tighten his grip on my chin until I looked back at him. He stared at me and said nothing else, refusing to let me look away from him. I saw ageless patience in his eyes along with love. How long I stared at him and his unwavering eyes, I couldn't have said. It could have been several minutes or an hour. He was waiting for me to make some kind of connection with what he'd said and his actions. When I did understand, I had to blink rapidly and drop my gaze to my lap and our clasped hands.

 

“You even love me when I'm a youkai, don't you? It's all the same to you, isn't it? Me as a human or as a youkai or as something in between the two. How? How can that be when I don't even love me then?” I asked in a quiet voice.

 

Hakuryuu sighed and pulled me into his arms, hugging me tight. He made shushing noises between words in Dragon that I didn't understand. There was so much more to Hakuryuu and the love he had for me. There was the feel of an epic story about how we first met and our previous lives and relationships. For the first time since Hakuryuu and I became lovers, I felt incredibly frustrated that we were unable to communicate smoothly. Hakuryuu pulled back slightly from me to see my face.

 

//Love all you, yes? All good, yes?//

 

I stared at Hakuryuu, feeling as if I was standing on a high cliff and my next decision would either drop me to the rocks below or allow me to soar free in the sky. My decision would also affect Hakuryuu and the relationship we shared.

 

I could say no, that my youkai self wasn't good and refuse to accept that he could possibly love something about myself that I hadn't been able to and might never be able to. Our relationship would never be the same after my rejection of the entirety of his love and he could very well grow to resent the fact that I wasn't willing to share all of myself with him. It could be the beginning of the end of what we had together.

 

If I agreed with him, that meant I'd have to acknowledge my youkai self and that the things I desired and felt when I was youkai were okay. Doing that and severing the last frayed threads of my humanity scared me on a primitive level. I drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. I wasn't ready to make this kind of decision.

 

“You're not making this easy for me, you know. I'm scared of what I become when I remove the limiters. Not only of going insane from the minus wave. I've more than a passing fancy with insanity. It's the violence I'm capable of that truly frightens me. What if I hurt you during one of these….” I trailed off and waved a hand vaguely to indicate what'd happened between us.

 

Hakuryuu laughed softly and shook his head at me. He touched the dragon pendant, grasped my arm in his hands and applied a little pressure. He curled his fingers into claws and raked them lightly across his ribs. He traced bite marks on both of us and made a sound of dismissal. I knew my eyes widened with each little pantomime. I swallowed hard.

 

“You remember us breaking bones on each other? When we…. We really did that? You're not just saying that to put my mind at ease, are you?”

 

Hakuryuu blushed a delicate pink and actually looked a little embarrassed. //No. Hard good.//

 

“Oh my. I don't think I want to play that roughly, Hakuryuu. Regardless of what you remember us doing before, I don't think I could play that roughly. My god, what kind of people were we to enjoy such a thing?”

 

Hakuryuu said something in Dragon and began to mouth a word when he suddenly snapped his mouth shut and looked annoyed. He snorted and muttered something in Dragon that sounded like another swear before shrugging his shoulders and spreading his hands wide in a helpless gesture. I got the feeling that there was something he really wanted to tell me yet couldn't. I didn't think it was something as simple as a language barrier either.

 

//Love all you, yes? All good, yes? Please.//

 

I nibbled on my bottom lip as I teetered mentally on the edge of the cliff. I was a youkai now regardless of how many limiters I wore. Nothing would give me back my humanity. Not that I really thought I deserved such a reward. I didn't think I deserved a gift as precious as the love Hakuryuu offered me either. Yet, he was giving it freely to me and was apparently aware of what I became when I removed the limiters. Despite that, he still loved me. All of me.

 

Did I want to fly free for even the briefest of moments, snatching up the happiness Hakuryuu wanted to share with me? Was I brave enough to even try?

 

“I don't know why you love me or how you can even love the part of me that I try so very hard to deny. I'd be a fool to throw away what you're offering because what I am scares me. I can't say I'll ever be comfortable with my youkai self and as much as I enjoyed what we did, it frightened me at the same time. If you have the patience to wait for me to work through how I feel about being youkai, maybe someday I can at least like some of the things you seem to love about me.”

 

Hakuryuu's smile lit his face and he tumbled me back to the bed. He licked my lips and happiness made his eyes sparkle. He said something in Dragon and pointed to himself. I waited for him to mouth the word so I could understand but he only repeated the Dragon word and jabbed a thumb at his chest. I tried the word out on my tongue and after several attempts that made him snicker, seemed to get it right. He said something else in Dragon and touched my chest and waited for me to repeat it as well. Once I'd done so to his satisfaction, snickering at my pronunciation aside, he touched my face gently, almost revenantly and repeated the last word he'd just taught me. I could've smacked myself when I realized what he'd just taught me. I pointed to myself and repeated the word.

 

“That was the name you knew me as when we were lovers, wasn't it? And the other word, that was your name then?”

 

The happiness in Hakuryuu's face at my understanding that he was teaching me our previous names was stunning. He called me the name he'd known me by and told me once again that he loved me. For whatever reason, I felt incredible warmth settle inside my chest at hearing him say that to me. Hakuryuu hugged me tight to him and dragged the blankets over us. At the very edge of my hearing, even with the limiters on, I caught the contented warbling I'd heard earlier from Hakuryuu. I said his name softly and he squeezed me hard, nuzzling his lips in my hair.

 

I'd chosen to take the step off the cliff but instead of feeling alone and afraid by what I'd done, I felt a giddy rush of excitement and safe in the knowledge that Hakuryuu would be there to catch me if I started to fall.