Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Shattering ❯ Moments of Truth ( Chapter 5 )

Title: Shattering [chapter 5/6]

Book 4 of the "Encounters Arc"

Author: Enigma

Series: Saiyuki

Written: September - October, 2003

Rating: R

Main Pairing: (Gojyo + Hakkai)

Category: Dark! Yaoi, Angst, Romance, Blood. AU-OOC. Giftfic.

Archive: fanfiction.net & mediaminer.org [author: "E-sama the Llama"]

Warnings: dark! yaoi, high angst, tortured romance, bloodshed, coarse language as per the anime, and explicable though atypical characterization. AU-OOC. Giftfic for Jadesword.

Spoilers: This story is set after the events in episode 13 of the anime and therefore contains spoilers.

Disclaimer: "Saiyuki" is the property of Kazuya Minekura, et al. This unauthorized work of unpaid fanfiction is intended for entertainment only; please do not sue me.

Notes: Can Gojyo help Hakkai overcome the shattering effects of a horrific incident or is he, too, doomed to fall apart as a result of divine interference?

*****

On the twenty-sixth of November, in a small inn in a tiny town somewhere along the path of the journey to the west, a particularly accurate clock on a bedside table read 12:35:03am.

On either side of the nightstand, two men were profoundly asleep. One was lost in slumber due to prescription painkillers. The other was equally in thrall to the goddess of rest due to the powerfully sedating mead which he had consumed with the intention of forgetting his troubles. The silence of the room was broken only by the soft inhalations and exhalations of the sleepers, thereby generating an overall impression of amiable, domestic peace.

Said impression, however, was about to be totally destroyed.

As the clock's display silently changed to 12:35:04am, one of the two dreamers suddenly awoke with a start. Emerald eyes flew wide as a horrible, soul-wrenching sensation of prescience tore Hakkai from his dreams.

Something, somewhere was about to threaten someone or something that he loved, he was absolutely certain of it.

This realization caused the brunette's heart to race and his bloodstream to fill with the adrenaline that would grant him the strength to do what needed to be done in spite of not only his injuries but also the drugs in his system. Due to his recent trauma, however, he could not remember his past and had no certain knowledge just who it was that he might care enough about to have had such a strong precognitive warning regarding.

Before the clock could change its reading, the amnesiac's eyes darted around the room and he vaguely acknowledged that there was indeed a person in the bed opposite his own, but he assumed that it was merely the irascible priest and gave him no additional thought. Hakkai intended to continue his visual inventory of his surroundings, yet suddenly there was a bizarre rippling in the air between the two beds that caught and held his gaze.

At the precise millisecond that the clock initially read 12:35:05am, the distortion solidified itself into the terrifying form of a muscular youkai with long, pointed ears, crazed eyes, and the dark blue tattoos that marked him as one of Gyokumen kosyu's personal assassins.

Kougaiji's step-mother's creature's beastly claws were expertly wrapped around a razor-sharp short sword that had clearly bathed in the blood of many victims and fully intended to do the same here, too. His grotesquely over-long tongue lapped at the blade once before poising it above the sleeping form in the other bed all the while grinning in delight in anticipation of the mayhem it was about to unleash.

The assassin's orders had been simple enough. Find the Sanzo-ikkou and kill them all before returning with the holy sutra that the empress lusted for. Who he killed first had seemed irrelevant when the mission had been assigned to him, thus the fact that he had targeted Gojyo first was simple happenstance and nothing more.

Even as the deadly blade was raised above it, the figure in the bed rolled over and long, maroon tresses spilled into Hakkai's line of sight thereby sending a jolt of recognition through the human-turned-youkai that broke the barriers erected by recent events.

Time ceased to move as Tenpou gensui, a spirit that had been quiescent until that exact moment, reawakened as did something far more powerful than he himself was. A flood of memory surged up and overtook Hakkai much as a tremendous tsunami can overtake any low-lying land that it assails.

In less than heartbeat, his previously missing memories of all that had occurred prior to the recent disaster came rushing back to him.

Moments of pain, hours of pleasure, days of love, months of friendship, and years of affection both spoken and unspoken manifested themselves in Hakkai's mind once more. Racing into him were the emotions that he'd forgotten; the trust and joy that he had shared with his soulmate were back as were the recollections of the less positive moments that were outweighed by the wonderful days they had shared. Somewhere behind all of this, of course, were the memories involving all of his other friends and enemies, but in that timeless instant only one person truly meant anything at all to him.

Realizing that exceptionally important man was in mortal danger, Hakkai reacted instinctively by drawing on his ki-channeling abilities while screaming, "GOJYO!!"

The numbers on the clock changed to read 12:35:06am even as a ball of glowing green life-force the size of a large melon literally erupted from between badly wounded hands, decimating the bandages there before slamming into the menacing newcomer.

The assassin didn't even have time to realize that he was in danger before all that remained of him was a dark red smear of blood on the room's floor. The frightening short sword vanished as well due to the mystic attack and if it were not for the metallic reek of blood in the air, it might have been easy to have failed to realize that something dramatic had just occurred in the room.

Despite the sound of his own name being screamed by the one he loved, Gojyo never once reacted to the single second of horror that had played out nearby. His body remained as quietly at rest when the clock read 12:35:07am as it had previously.

Shaking and finding the breath in his lungs painful, Hakkai was distracted for a split second as he tried to bring his memories from prior to the explosion in the marketplace to the current moment into alignment. When they snapped together abruptly and he was able to recall his own harsh words uttered in this very room less than a day earlier, he moaned very softly, "oh, no. gojyo…"

Time resumed its stately pace as he struggled to force his injured body up from the bed and with stumbling steps on legs that were not ready yet to carry the burden of his full weight, he crossed the small distance to the other bed.

Reaching beseechingly towards Gojyo with both hands, Hakkai quietly pleaded in a rapidly fading voice, "dearest gojyo, even though i do not deserve it, please forgive me…"

An overwhelming feeling of love and devotion filled him even as the incredibly brief burst of adrenaline lost its power to hold back the effects of the painkillers in his bloodstream. Hakkai didn't take time to note the presence of wetness in his own eyes as he murmured, "i do still love you…" he was losing the battle against unconsciousness as he stated, "and i do still want you, now and forever…"

A forceful shudder ran through him as his internal systems overrode his willpower and the injured man was plunged headfirst once more into darkness.

Hakkai's body then resembled that of a marionette whose strings had been cut as he crumpled into an insensate heap partially atop his lover and partially sprawled across the bloodstained floor. His arms had come to rest around Gojyo's waist and his head was pillowed upon the half-breed's chest as if he had intended to merely lay there a moment, listening to the reassuring rhythm of the heart beating nearby.

When the clock finally informed no one in particular that it was now 12:35:46am, the room was once more silent other than the soft sounds of the breathing of the intertwined couple.

One was still lost in the recesses of drunken dreams whereas the other was now lost far deeper. Yet the gentle, sweet smile that graced the lips of the unconscious man, a smile conspicuously absent for the prior few days, bespoke the radical improvement that had just occurred.

*****

Following his guardian with a satisfied smile of satiation on his lips since Sanzo had let him sample all eight of the crepe-maker's different dessert offerings, Goku carried a sleepy dragon in his arms and had no complaints whatsoever.

With a three-quarters empty jug of mead in one hand and a freshly lit Marlboro in the other, Sanzo tried diligently to pay attention to the act of walking instead of thinking about the mess that might await them if Hakkai had awoken and taken exception to Gojyo's presence.

It hadn't been until somewhere between the second and third crepe that he had enjoyed between sips of honey-sweet liquor that Sanzo had had misgivings regarding his earlier decision to abandon the two elder youkai for a while. At that point, though, he recommitted himself to the hope that they might work out their differences and hadn't indicated to his dining companions that he was concerned.

When he realized that his attempt at performing the type of walking meditation that he'd never really perfected in the first place was failing, Sanzo was about to offer a few words of warning to Goku regarding the trouble that they could be about to walk into. However, a sudden flash of an unmistakable fluorescent green from a window above them prevented any such comment.

"What the fuck?!?" Sanzo exclaimed loudly.

Eyes like chips of amethyst widened in time to note the profile of an unknown youkai clearly unburdened by power limiters silhouetted by the verdant glow. The unearthly light easily revealed a wicked looking blade poised and ready to strike. With a wince, Sanzo had to turn away as the light grew brighter still and then burst past the windowpanes to lance out and paint every surface nearby a brilliant chartreuse for less than a second.

Neither Goku nor Hakuryu had been looking in the right direction to have seen the initial blast, yet when they were both temporarily awash in green brilliance, they knew exactly what had happened.

"That was Hakkai!!" Goku shouted urgently before dashing towards the inn's front porch.

Safely enfolded in the unearthly youth's arms, Hakuryu keened loudly and stretched its neck towards the lamp-lit opening as if it could enhance Goku's speed and thereby arrive where it wanted to be even faster than it would already.

"Kyu! Kyu!!" The dragon urged unnecessarily.

Hakuryu was suddenly filled with guilt for having chosen to go out with Sanzo and Goku instead of staying behind to guard Hakkai and Gojyo as they slept. If it could've flown unaided all the way to the bedroom on the floor above them, it would have, but for now it contented itself with being carried swiftly along by the boy who was also flooded with remorse.

Snarling an oath of rage that someone had dared to attack *his* underlings in so cowardly a fashion, Sanzo flung aside both bottle and cigarette as he raced after Goku. His long sleeves flapped behind him as his sandal-clad feet ran as quickly as they were able to en route to a scene that he now feared might be far worse than any he had imagined earlier.

If the assassin had already killed Gojyo before Hakkai could muster his powers, then regardless of the pair's recent estrangement, there would undoubtedly be hell to pay. Then again, the very idea that the injured healer could even produce a blast of life force that way seemed impossible. Hakkai had forgotten how to use his ki-channeling ability, hadn't he?

Booted feet hammered on the stairway ahead of him and Sanzo redoubled his efforts to catch up while growling, "I am *so* going to kill that asshole Kougaiji for this! What the hell happened to his sense of fairness and justice and all of that crap he likes to spew?!"

When Goku crested the stairs, Hakuryu launched itself into the air and flew the final meters under its own power in an attempt to close the distance with its housemates as quickly as possible. The dragon nosed open the door that had been left only loosely shut, then it and Goku both vanished into the room only a moment before Sanzo flung himself in as well.

The heartwarming, moonlit scene that greeted them, of course, was almost as far from Sanzo's worst fears as it might have been able to be.

The little dragon fluttered above the two apparently sleeping youkai, offering excited noises of delight before landing on the bed near the inebriated redhead. It was performing a quick assessment for itself of Hakkai and Gojyo's conditions and was sufficiently satisfied by what it found that it offered a draconic grin of triumph.

Huge golden eyes blinking in confusion, Goku asked, "Sanzo? What do you think happened in here?" As the pungent, sanguinolent scent of the room filled his sensitive nostrils, he winced and added, "Yuck. I smell blood. But whose?!"

Sanzo wordlessly shared the boy's fears, but when he spotted the smear of wet redness on the floor near Hakkai, he pointed and said, "Look over there, saru. Before I was nearly blinded by Hakkai's ki-blast, I saw a youkai up here attacking someone and it would appear that's all that's left of the bastard."

Deciding to confirm what the dragon's expression was telling him, Sanzo stepped close enough to the couple on the bed to lightly touch the sides of each of their necks, easily confirming that strong pulses ran there still. As he did so, he couldn't help but note the tender smile on Hakkai's lips or the way he was protectively draped over Gojyo, hugging the half-breed despite his own unconscious state.

Shaking his head slowly, Sanzo muttered, "Well, I'll be damned."

"What do you mean?" Goku asked as he joined him and peered at their comrades. Then his own albeit limited understanding of the situation dawned and he smiled brightly as he announced, "I think they're best friends again, Sanzo! Isn't that great?"

The priest's sigh of relief turned into a soft snort as he rejoined, "You don't know the half of it, bakasaru!"

"Ky~yu!" Hakuryu joyfully agreed in a happy sing-song.

Once more shaking his head in astonishment and more than a little relief, Sanzo grumbled, "Well, we can't leave these two half-wits like this for the rest of the night. Give me a hand, Goku."

Sanzo knelt slightly before hoisting Hakkai onto wobbly, unaware feet enough for Goku to lend a hand. They had him slung between themselves when a soft rustle of fabric informed them that Hakuryu wanted to help, too, and had removed the blanket that had been covering Gojyo. It was an unsubtle command if ever there was one.

Goku was surprised by this unexpected gesture, but then he had to pay attention as Sanzo guided the brunette not into the empty bed but rather into the one the half-breed occupied. Confused yet continuing to assist as needed, the boy asked, "Ne, Sanzo? Why aren't we putting him back in the other bed?"

The blond made an annoyed grunt, then explained with a growl, "The dragon here seems to want it that way, plus I don't feel like hauling his heavy butt all the way across the room, saru."

Accepting this at face value as he did virtually everything his guardian told him, Goku simply nodded his understanding and then forgot the issue entirely when he noticed that Hakkai needed a pillow.

While Goku was distracted by the task of obtaining a pillow from the other bed, Sanzo was taking a moment to examine the healer's hands to see if immediate rebandaging needed to be done or not. The thick layers of scabs holding the wounds closed had held for the most part in spite of the rough manner in which the bindings that had protected them had been torn off. The minimal amount of blood seeping from them would simply shore up the natural bulwark against infection within minutes and he decided to do nothing about it just then.

Other reopened and bleeding injuries were hidden by Hakkai's clothing and were already protected by the layers of bandages the doctor had put in place the day before. Thus neither Sanzo nor Goku even noticed them.

Putting Hakkai's hands back down and then accepting the blanket from the dragon, Sanzo shook out the bedspread with a negligent snap of his wrists and was about to drape it over the pair. But he paused as Gojyo made a quiet noise as he instinctually reached out in his sleep to grasp the warm body nearby and draw it closer.

Despite never awakening at all, the redhead had arranged them both into a mutually comforting position and if he'd had any sense of shame at all, the blond might have felt embarrassed by witnessing the tender display.

Instead, the priest quietly snorted derisively and said, "Forget the pillow, Goku. They're fine just like this." He spread the blanket over the two slumbering forms who were immediately joined by a third who nestled itself closely against the small of Hakkai's back.

Hands full of a pillow and the blanket taken from the empty bed, Goku blinked for a moment, then shrugged. "Okay, Sanzo, if you say so."

"Yes, I 'say so'," the priest stated as he glanced at the clock before remarking, "I'm glad we already got another room. I'd have hated to go hassle with that pain-in-the-ass innkeeper at one in the morning."

"Makes sense to me," Goku commented as he dumped the extra bed items onto the floor near Gojyo in case the others needed them later. Without a word of explanation, he took a moment to mop up the blood with a towel which he then tossed aside rightfully assuming that the cleaning woman who took care of the room would rather bleach that than the floor.

While Goku did a little housekeeping, Sanzo was gathering a few items that they would both need in the nearby room they'd be sharing until they could all get back on the road again.

Comfortable clothes to sleep in were soon in hand as was an extra pack of Marlboros and a backup lighter just in case his lie regarding the level of fluid in the one in his sleeve-pocket became a self-fulfilling prophesy. For a moment, Sanzo regretted the loss of the remaining mead--he'd been looking forward to a sleep-inducing nightcap--but as tired as he was now, he didn't think that would be a problem.

Once his task was completed, Goku took a moment to stroke the dragon's neck in a wish for a pleasant night's rest as he said, "It's great that everything's okay again, isn't it, Hakuryu?"

With a firm nod of its milky head, the dragon replied with an almost purring, "Kyu."

After snorting impatiently, Sanzo commanded, "Let's go. I think I might actually get a decent night's sleep if we get out of here before all of this damned excessive sweetness gives me a fucking toothache."

After one last fond pat to the dragon's head, Goku agreed, saying, "Sure, Sanzo. Besides," he yawned hugely before grinning sleepily as he headed towards the open doorway, "I am super-duper full after that huge dinner and all those yummy crepes. I think I'll have loads of good dreams tonight instead of nightmares for a change."

Sanzo shrugged negligently as he remarked, "That would be good. You snore less when that happens."

As he exited the room, the priest pulled the door closed behind him without any concerns regarding unpleasant revelations to contend with in the morning. Even though neither of the youkai that were now resting close together had said a word to confirm his suspicions, he had no doubts that they were well on the way to bridging the gap which amnesia had forced into being between them.

Granted, he wasn't looking forward to the frank discussion he would have to have with them regarding the way they comported themselves now that their "secret" relationship was well and truly revealed--to himself at least--but that was a worry for later.

Peaceful silence eventually descended on the five traveling companions, each of which would find it was a night without haunting images to disturb them. Hakkai's period of unconsciousness would be fairly brief and would segue directly into healthful slumber, something made a hundred times better than it might've been if there wasn't a warm, protective body cradling him close.

*****

More than seven hours after the assassination attempt that had changed everything for the Sanzo-ikkou, buttery sunlight crept silently through a west-facing window and then eased its way up the side of a bed which contained not one but rather three occupants.

Wakefulness was almost as stealthy as the light of day was as it came upon Gojyo.

His choice of intoxicants the evening before had been an excellent one. The locally produced mead was highly prized not only for its smooth richness, but also for the fact that it rarely induced a hangover worth worrying over. The recipe for the honey-based drink had been refined with that in mind since this was a small town filled with working people who could not afford to be unable to perform their tasks simply due to seeking a bit of refreshment.

Pleasantly pain-free, the half-breed roused with very little motion since he was instinctively aware that he was not alone.

Two strangely long rows of eyelashes fluttered apart like the wings of some unprecedented species of moth as he hesitantly opened one eye hoping against hope that he wasn't in bed with either a woman or, worse, Genjo Sanzo himself. The second thought brought a shudder of revulsion which he masterfully suppressed even as he realized that whoever it was had their head buried beneath the covers as if too bashful to reveal their identity.

With an inaudible groan of fear, he shrunk away from the person who was so close. When he looked past the hump in the blanket that covered his unknown bedmate, scarlet eyes rose to take in an unexpected sight and he froze because of it.

Peering at him with a bright smile was a tiny, triangular head with solid, garnet-hued eyes surrounded by snow-white fur and it was all Gojyo could do to keep from shouting with delight. Having Hakuryu so close by and actually acting as if it was perfectly happy after all of the recent difficulties meant that the one in his arms was exactly and precisely who he would've hoped it might be.

Therefore, instead of shouting in elation, he just whispered in greeting, "good morning, bright eyes." The twin scars on his left cheek bunched together as he smiled broadly.

The dragon's smile turned into a grin of joy of its own as it offered equally quietly, "kyu!"

Continuing to keep as quiet as he could, Gojyo asked worriedly, "is 'kai okay now, hakuryu? memories back and all that good shit?"

Tilting its head at an angle before looking aside briefly, Hakuryu pondered how to express the fact that it wasn't completely certain that all was well but that it assumed it was. Realizing that its one word vocabulary had left it in the lurch yet again, the dragon then looked back at its friend and replied uncertainly, "kyu…?" It shrugged its wings a little and left it at that.

Instantly worried once more, Gojyo found himself on the horns of a dilemma. Should he awaken his bedmate and find out the truth for himself, an action that might end badly if Hakkai was in bed with him against his will? Or should he try to escape before it was too late?

The only thing keeping this from becoming a true crisis was the fact that both men were obviously dressed beneath their shared bedcovers. If they had been nude, on the other hand, Gojyo would have panicked and things could have gone very badly indeed. Chewing on his lower lip thoughtfully as he tried to decide what to do, the resolution of this challenge was taken out of his hands.

With a quiet moan of discomfort, Hakkai stirred slightly before a head covered in mussed chocolate tresses emerged from under the blanket.

Sleepy verdant eyes blinked a few times and it was clear that he was rather badly disoriented in large part due to the mild overdose of painkillers slowly fading from his bloodstream. The large wad of gauze affixed to his damaged right cheek hung a bit loosely where their intimate sleeping arrangement had caused the surgical tape holding it in place to come free, but otherwise he seemed perfectly normal.

Ruthlessly stifling flashbacks to mornings in their own shared bed back home in the small apartment that they had left behind in August, Gojyo found himself tongue-tied as he said softly, "um, g'morning, hakkai. er, um, did you sleep okay?" He caught himself before he could add the possibly unwanted endearment that usually went with an inquiry of that sort.

The bridge of Hakkai's nose wrinkled momentarily as he frowned in concentration while trying to pull his full consciousness away from the pleasant dreamscape that he had just left behind. However, that lasted all of a microsecond and suddenly Gojyo found himself trapped in an almost strangling chokehold.

"Oh, crap!" Gojyo exclaimed, misinterpreting the clinging embrace as an attack instead of the fervent display of love that it was.

Before any further misunderstanding could pass between them, Hakkai relaxed his fierce hug long enough to lift a weary face that held apprehension as well as joy as he explained, "I've got my memory back, Gojyo! I… I…." His mouth moved in a subvocal attempt to express himself, then he added more firmly, "I am so very, very sorry for all of the things I said to you! I…." Words abandoned him entirely as little puddles of teardrops grew on the rims of his lower eyelids.

Warmth suffused Gojyo as he filled in the blanks between Hakkai's words and his meaning. Then he reached up and gently stroked the tears away with the pad of his thumb even as he smiled and teased lightly, "Oh? Is that *everything* you've ever said to me, 'Kai, or just some particular things?"

Snuffling back the sudden congestion in his nose, Hakkai let his eyes widen slightly as he rushed to reassure, "Just the horrible things I said while I didn't know who I was, Gojyo." He felt the strong chest pressed warmly against his own shudder with repressed, relieved laughter as he added sincerely, "It's unimaginable to me now that I could have possibly forgotten not only *you* but *all* that we shared together! And to think of the dreadful way that I repudiated not only you but our wonderful intimacy, too, I… I…." The human-turned-youkai's battle against tears was lost completely at this point.

Hakkai stopped trying to find the words that he needed and just threw himself into the tightest hug his injured body could provide. His head was averted and his eyes were scrunched shut as he wept, unaware that he had been joined in the potent expression of emotion.

Gojyo wasn't surprised to find himself crying with joy now that the frightening period of estrangement between them appeared to be over. As salty beads of happiness painted trails on his cheeks, he recalled how difficult it had been not to cry the day more than three years prior when he had been reunited with the man he'd known as Nanashi at the time.

Standing in front of a fruit stand and loudly welcoming a person that he had been told was dead, Gojyo had had a very hard time keeping his tears at bay. It was so difficult, in fact, that he could recall being choked up by acute tightness in his throat. Now, however, their relationship meant so much more to him than it had then and since there wasn't an audience to be concerned about, he let the teardrops fall unhindered.

Of course, this was certainly not the first time the couple had found themselves sharing tears. Nevertheless, it was one of the rare times that it was because of gladness and not sorrow.

Even as the loving pair was briefly lost in their joyful reunion, neither youkai spared much more than a thought to the location of his missing traveling companions since Sanzo and Goku were more than capable of taking care of themselves. Hence it was perfectly logical to assume they were elsewhere, properly billeted and sufficiently content with the current situation not to burst in on them suddenly.

Thus it was easy to see why they gave that aspect of the moment no further consideration, preferring to focus exclusively on each other and their newly rediscovered relationship.

When Hakkai had first clasped Gojyo to himself in an almost painfully tight embrace, Hakuryu had danced out of the way with a beat of its wings and a hop or two of its sturdy little legs. Now able to observe without interfering, it stood near the head of the bed and beamed radiantly.

The way the two men were crying no more bothered the magical creature than it did them, yet the moment brought to mind a sad night in June when the pair had first attempted intercourse and had failed spectacularly. This in turn brought other, better memories of similar situations with far superior resolutions. Hakuryu correctly assumed that there wouldn't be an opportunity for such an interaction to complete this lovely reunion of sorts since Hakkai hadn't recovered nearly enough for an intimate encounter of that nature.

This realization didn't disturb Hakuryu too much, though, and when it judged there to be an opportune moment for it to do so, it interjected in a normal tone of voice, "Kyu?"

Breaking apart enough so they could each gaze at their winged friend, Gojyo and Hakkai both wiped tears from their eyes before the brunette admitted, "I beg your pardon, Hakuryu, I didn't quite catch that. What were you asking?"

Chuckling in spite of everything, Gojyo roughly swiped the last dampness from his cheeks and remarked, "Oh, that's rich, 'Kai. When you couldn't remember diddlysquat, you could still understand everything the dragon said. But now that you're back in the game, you can't figure out what it's saying? That's *rich*, I tell ya!"

Accepting the tacit offer to break the tension with humor, Hakkai shot a sidelong glance at his beloved partner, then repeated, "Please, Hakuryu, what was it that you wished to ask?"

Gesturing at Hakkai's hands with its head, Hakuryu responded inquisitively, "Kyu?"

Following the dragon's gaze down to his damaged palms, Hakkai pursed his lips and frowned slightly as he considered his other injuries as well. With a resigned sigh since lying to either of those whose brilliant red eyes were watching him carefully was out of the question, he admitted, "No, I am afraid that I am far from 'all right' at the moment." He flexed his hands only once, then winced as he continued, "I have no regrets regarding my actions last night--saving Gojyo would be worth any cost, of course--but it would appear that I have undone some of the healing that my body had accomplished."

The expression of complete shock on Gojyo's face was an elegant expression of how completely unaware he had been the night before as well as proving that he'd failed to note the lack of bandages around his partner's hands. He demanded, "What the hell are you talking about, baby?!" Without allowing time for a reply as he had often done in the past when agitated, he added urgently, "You had to save me from *what*, 'Kai?!"

Slightly surprised since he'd overlooked the fact that Gojyo had been totally unaware of what had transpired the night before, Hakkai rushed to say, "Please, Gojyo, don't overreact! It was only one enemy youkai and--"

"Kyu!" Hakuryu interjected angrily. Glaring at Hakkai, it demanded the truth for itself as well as the half-breed.

"The dragon's damned well right, 'Kai! There's no such thing as 'only one enemy youkai' where we're involved!" Gojyo tried to calm himself yet only found his dismay growing when Hakkai lifted a bare hand as if to ask for a chance to explain further. Gathering said hand to himself and noting the new scabs on its palm, he deflated unhappily and asked, "You got tore up more because I was too fucking drunk to protect myself, didn't you? Oh, shit…"

Resolution replaced pleading in his expressive eyes as Hakkai stated, "Those are mere scratches, Gojyo, nothing of significance. If you will give me but a moment, I will explain to you what happened, all right?"

Still feeling inadequate, Gojyo agreed, saying, "Well, all right, baby, but you *know* how much it gets to me when I see you bleed! I told you that a couple of weeks ago when you hurt yourself chopping wood, remember?"

"Ah, yes, I do recall that you had mentioned that," Hakkai acknowledged, then his gentle smile crept back to his lips as he described the important recent events from his own point of view. "Regarding the incident last night, well, I was awakened by a feeling that something terrible was about to happen. Almost immediately, a youkai that I had never seen before adorned by strange tattoos and carrying a short sword materialized in our room and--"

"It 'materialized'? How so, 'Kai?" Gojyo asked in confusion.

With a nod, Hakkai explained, "Yes, it simply appeared out of thin air, much as Kougaiji is able to when he wishes to do so. But somehow, I do not believe the creature that I was forced to destroy was sent by him. Kougaiji is far too noble for such a craven attack."

"That's for sure," Gojyo had to agree. "Plus, my bro wouldn't approve of something like that, but anyway, what else happened?"

Leaving the matter of Dokugakuji out of the conversation, Hakkai continued, "There is not much else to tell, really. The moment I saw that horrible beast towering above you and clearly planning to kill you, well, something inside me snapped and my memories returned. I don't recall all the details after that--I'd taken a pain pill earlier and even now it's still making me a little fuzzy--but I threw a ki-burst at the youkai, killing it readily enough."

Gojyo frowned thoughtfully before asking, "So, you think the blast was what tore up your hands? Ripped the bandages off, too, maybe?"

With a small shrug, Hakkai replied, "I would assume as much. After that, I recall making my way to your side so I could apologize for being such a bastard to you and--"

Silencing his bedmate by placing a gentle finger against his lips, Gojyo quietly assured, "You weren't being a 'bastard' to me, baby. At the time, you just didn't have a clue what was what and I think I'd scared you by coming on too strong when I realized that you couldn't remember everything we had meant to each other."

Since he couldn't grasp the hand so near his face without causing himself pain, Hakkai merely stroked the back of his fingers against Gojyo's wrist before pulling back enough to say, "You are far too generous, Gojyo. I do not deserve your forgiveness quite so easily."

"Bullshit, 'Kai," Gojyo responded with a slightly sad smirk. Recollections of nights three years past arose in his mind, nights when he'd return to their apartment smelling of cheap perfume and sex, and then he added, "'Forgiveness' oughta be a two-way street and up until now, it's been mostly you forgiving me all the time. It's kinda nice to get to go in the other direction, don't you think?"

"Perhaps," Hakkai replied noncommittally, then frowned slightly before commenting, "One thing that strikes me as odd is that I do not recall getting into bed with you. I killed the assassin, came over to speak to you, and then I collapsed. That's all I remember until I awoke a few moments ago."

"That's weird," Gojyo agreed before suggesting, "Maybe the monkey wandered by and helped us out?"

Hakkai wished to state that was highly doubtful, after all, Goku still believed them to be merely very close friends, but clarification was offered by the other occupant of the bed.

Hakuryu had been following the conversation closely and was happy to have gotten some of the information it had wanted, thus it was more than glad to use its head to point towards a forgotten pack of Marlboros and offer, "Kyu." The two youkai both stared at it in disbelief even as it turned its eyes towards something that Goku had left lying nearby and added a meaningful noise before bowing its head significantly.

"Oh my, how unexpected," Hakkai commented. He felt the barest touch of warmth in his cheeks as he asked, "Do you mean to say that yourself, Goku, *and* Sanzo were responsible for this arrangement, Hakuryu?"

Nodding its head firmly and without apology, the dragon left the obvious unstated.

"Ain't *that* just a kick in the head?" Gojyo muttered in astonishment. Admiring the faintest of blushes gracing his partner's handsome face, he added nervously, "Um, but that kinda brings to mind something else, 'Kai."

"Truly?" Hakkai asked as he lightly touched the loosened bandage over the facial wound that had started to throb uncomfortably when he had blushed.

"I, er, um, uh," the half-breed stammered, then blurted out in a headlong rush, "I kinda told Sanzo about you 'n me and I think he may be royally pissed about it and I dunno if Goku knows and, shit, I just couldn't handle it when I thought you'd never love me again or make love with me anymore and I kinda fell apart big time and that's when I decided to go get myself totally smashed and--"

The avalanche of words was brought to a halt by a gentle, relieved smile. Before Gojyo could ask why Hakkai wasn't angry about this since he'd always insisted on their circumspect behavior, the smile drew itself close to his own mouth and then pressed closer still to share a tender kiss.

When the brief, noninvasive kiss ended, Hakkai drew back fractionally and murmured, "please don't worry so, gojyo." His breath ghosted warmly across the half-breed's lips as he added in a whisper, "i had wondered how much longer we could maintain the façade of mere friendship between us. this may be all to the better in the long run."

Losing himself in luminous green eyes that were gazing at him with such loving regard, Gojyo whispered back, "but it should have been something we decided to do together, 'kai. it wasn't my place to blow our cover that way."

Letting a smile blossom once more and causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle in delight, Hakkai replied, "honestly, gojyo, you are more than welcome to make decisions like that anytime you wish to."

Hakkai slipped his lover another light buss, then added in a normal tone of voice as he rested his head against Gojyo's neck tiredly, "I trust you completely in all things. Besides, you must have been in a state of extreme distress considering the horrible things I had said. If you felt you could turn to Sanzo of all people for support, then I am more than glad that you did so."

Amazed yet again by the man who claimed that his heart was one so small as to have no chinks in its armor, Gojyo decided to let the topic drop for the moment. Instead, he moved to run his fingers gently through messy brown hair, finger-combing it as he asked, "You're not feeling so hot right now, are you, sweetheart?"

Surprised yet pleased to hear an endearment unheard since they'd left the farmhouse where they'd celebrated Gojyo's birthday so spectacularly, Hakkai sighed softly and admitted, "I am afraid that is indeed the case. I may have pulled some stitches loose in some of my wounds for that matter. I certainly have no regrets regarding my actions and am quite grateful for the end of the amnesia, but as I said before, I fear I did myself a bit of harm last night."

Continuing his gentle attention to his soulmate's hair and thereby comforting them both with the familiar act of tenderness, Gojyo replied, "I hope it's not as bad as all that, baby. In a bit, I'll go find old Lord Droopy Eyes and tell him we need a doctor up here again. Right now, though, I just want to lay here and look at you for awhile. Sorta holding you close like this is what I need to convince myself that this is real and not a dream that will vanish any minute now."

"All right, Gojyo," Hakkai agreed quietly.

Now that the crisis it had inadvertently touched off was over, Hakuryu felt safe to inquire if it might get out of the way of the two lovers. With quiet kyus, it nuzzled each man and when they gave it smiles of approval, it lifted off the bed with a few beats of its wings. Not strong enough to make the flight all the way to the empty bed, though, it chose to make a nest of the pillow and blanket that Goku had discarded nearby.

Finally alone on the bed, Gojyo and Hakkai snuggled together as best they could considering the numerous wounds on the brunette's back that had begun to throb painfully now that the painkillers had worn off more. They would steal a few hours alone together before the redhead would go in search of medical assistance for his partner.

Obviously, there were still some difficulties that the loving couple was going to have to work out, primarily those involving a certain gun-toting holy man who wasn't usually as tolerant as he had been lately, but these could all wait for later. This was a time for reconnecting and on a level they were unaware of, two others were celebrating as well.

Despite being unable to "touch" as they could only in the moments of post-coital haze, Tenpou and Kenren were quietly delighting in being reunited.

They hadn't suffered a fraction of what their current personifications had due to the relatively short period of estrangement. To the celestials who had endured a half-millennium of separation while in limbo and awaiting rebirth, a few days apart were nothing to them, yet it did make for a fine excuse to commune together as best they could.

A third eternal spirit, that of a draconic military commander, was also celebrating in its own way.

Reflecting on the fact that a return to the wheel of reincarnation didn't seem to be in his immediate future after all, Goujun quietly contemplated what else he could accomplish in his current asexual avatar. The solution that came to mind was a simple one, and with a yawn, Hakuryu slipped into a pleasant catnap.

Throughout the turmoil of revelations, apologies, and acts of forgiveness, the sunshine that had been making its way cautiously into the room had continued. It now cloaked both youkai and dragon alike in a shimmering blanket of warmth and promise.

*****

To be concluded.