Gensomaden Saiyuki Fan Fiction ❯ Unseen Smile ❯ Uncertain Times ( Chapter 6 )

Disclaimer: Yes, I don't own Saiyuki or any affiliated character. So please, don't get mad at me.

 

Warning: Yaoi, Lemon, Violence and all those things that aren't for kids…but you knew that already right?

 

Uncertain Times

 

“Jeez, our flat is more comfortable than this dump,” Gojyo complained and kicked a stingy old bunk bed before sitting on it. Hakkai looked at the place with dismay. The place was worn down, dusty and obviously had no central heating due to the musty smell lingering on the bed sheets.

 

“They did tell us that we should be inconspicuous,” he muttered and started to unpack their clothes, when he opened the closet, he found that the laptop complete with all the information needed to find Genjyo Sanzo and Goku was carefully hidden under a hollow shelf. After organizing their belongings in the small closet, Hakkai brought out the laptop and placed it next to the one they bought along.

 

“Well, Kougaiji did say that the best way to find these two was through the boy, Goku,” Gojyo said as he connected the two laptops together. “And since the boy is only eighteen, we might as well look possible place where the boy could do some part-time work.”

 

“Or possible places where they could eat,” Hakkai said. “Something common, some where they wouldn't stand out.”

 

After several hours of narrowing the list down, they managed to track five possible places of work and eight possible places where they eat. Gojyo slumped back on the bed and sighed loudly.

 

“Crap, jetlags getting to me,” he said, the fatigue slowly creeping in his voice. “How `bout you Hakkai?”

 

“Well, I am starting to get a little light headed from the trip. How about dinner, Gojyo? We could eat at this place tonight just so we can gather some info on Sanzo,” Hakkai said, trying to lift his partner's spirits.

 

“Fine, I'm starving, doesn't really matter where we eat, as long as we do,” Gojyo muttered and headed for the closet to pick out fresh clothes. As he pulled his shirt from above his head, he felt strong arms wrap around his flat stomach. The soft cotton shirt Hakkai wore pressed against his skin, the heat from the smaller man radiating through the thin fabric.

 

“What is it, Hakkai?” Gojyo asked, a hint of amusement in his voice. Hakkai only laughed.

 

“Pervert,” he chided the red-head. “I just wanted to hug you, that's all.”

 

Gojyo turned around and kissed him softly before bringing his arms to rest on the other's shoulders. Hakkai smiled against the slightly parted lips and drew him closer.

 

“I never thought we'd be like this,” Hakkai said slowly, looking up at the crimson eyes. “I never even imagined before that we'd be this close, partners even.'

 

“Well, there are so many things we don't know yet, Hakkai,” he answered. “Even if we have been in this business so long, we still don't know much about life.”

 

“Maybe because we were so busy destroying it,” the other replied with a sad smile. Gojyo placed a finger on his lips, silencing him from further voicing out his troubling thoughts.

 

“What matters now is that we have each other to build a new life together,” Gojyo said with a smile. Hakkai smiled back, eyes glowing with unspoken affection. Gojyo could feel his chest give a jump. He barely saw Hakkai smile like this, a smile filled with warm and love and this smile really brought out who Hakkai really was, an innocent whose hands were tainted with blood but has a heart that remains pure.

 

And he was going to protect the purity no matter what it costs him.

 

---

 

Dull, almost dead-like footsteps reverberated through the still night air as it approached the bathroom where he was hiding. He had squeezed his frail body between the sink and the tub, the cool tile numbing his already cold skin. He had heard the gunshots and the sound of a life being choked out of a person. He wasn't scared. He was frightened out of his wits when the footsteps drew near. But another part of him was thankful that he was going to be free from this goddamn dirty body that he owned. With death, he could wash away all his guilt, all the filth in his system, soul and body alike. He waited, eyes wide with anticipation, for the killer to enter the bathroom and find him. He could feel his veins thrumming with fear-induced adrenaline, the blood pounding in his ears. He held his breath and then…

 

“Goku, you little monkey,” a deep warm voice chided him from his thoughts. He looked up and saw a pair of amethyst eyes glaring at him. “I've been calling for you to bring in the vegetables, where's your mind at now?”

 

“Sorry Sanzo,” he apologized and hurriedly placed the brown paper bag filled with vegetables and fruits on the kitchen counter. After that he grabbed a can of orange juice and a beer from the fridge and went back to the blond man waiting by the small living room.

 

“Hey, Sanzo,” he said as he handed him the beer bottle. The older man looked at him through slim reading glasses and cocked an eyebrow at him. “Seen the new boarders?”

 

“Why? What's with them?” The man asked and opened a newspaper, flipping through the brown paper. He had heard unfamiliar voices but didn't take any notice. He had assumed that the new boarders were old time lovers, looking for a new adventure in a foreign land. Goku took another gulp from his orange juice.

 

“Nothing, I just noticed we had new neighbors,” he said nonchalantly and flopped down next to the man who was now folding the newspaper. “Finished reading already?”

 

“Saw nothing good in the news,” came the reply. “What do you want for dinner? Want to eat out again?”

 

“Well, I'm sure you're too tired to cook something for dinner tonight,” he said and wiped down a trickle of orange juice coming from his mouth. “We could just grab a bite at Pasta Primo.”

 

“Okay, we'll leave in an hour,” Sanzo answered and looked at his watch. “You could rest before we leave, you seem tired from all the walking around in the grocery, and from all the whining you did for those meat buns.”

 

Goku tried to grin but instead his mouth formed into a yawn. The teenager leaned back, folded his arms behind his head and looked at him through one eye. The face continued to look at him impassively except for the slight raised eyebrow that marked as a silent query.

 

“I'm not going to sleep if you're not coming with me,” Goku said, blowing wisps of his chocolate brown hair from his eyes. The man beside him smirked and brushed some remaining strands away.

 

“Okay, we can take a nap together,” came the soft reply. Goku grinned happily at him and kissed the palm of his hand. “Just so you won't oversleep again.”

 

He only laughed at statement. He got up and pulled the man next to him to the bedroom, small slender fingers tightly laced together with long slim ones.

 

…he saw an angel with golden hair like the sun reaching out to him. Even as he lashed out his hands, clawed at this angels' face, he still felt strong, warm arms pulling him into an embrace. A voice deep as the night whispered soothing gentle words in his ears, calming his frightened soul. The angel held on to him and he finally stopped his thrashing. He succumbed to the angel's beautiful light. And for the first time, he could feel genuine warmth surround his usual cold surroundings.

 

Goku looked back at Sanzo who was letting himself be dragged across the room, an amused glint coming to those purple eyes. He was still the same angel that came that night, with golden hair like the sun, warmth radiating from his body and words that calmed him every time he spoke.

 

“Come on, Angel,” Goku whispered to himself as he led the older man through the doors of their bedroom.

 

---

 

“The place is nice,” Gojyo commented as they took a seat in one of the tables next to a window. The restaurant was a quaint little place that specialized in pasta, buffet style and gave a cozy atmosphere to its guests. Hakkai nodded in appreciation and gave the room one quick sweep of his eye.

 

“They're not here,” Hakkai said slowly and took a sip of the cold water the maître d' had given them as they sat down. “Maybe they aren't in the vicinity and moved back up again.”

 

“But Jien and Kougaiji tracked down any activities up north and said that the apartment there was still untouched,” Gojyo said with a smile, trying to look natural. Hakkai forced a laugh and rested his face on his hand.

 

“Well, maybe we're here earlier than usual,” he said with a smile. Gojyo returned the smile and reached out to brush a lock of hair from his face, an action that brought out an unsolicited blush from the smaller man.

 

“You look beautiful when you do that,” Gojyo said slowly and stared deep into those emerald eyes.

 

“We should be talking about the mission,” Hakkai said through the reddish tinge in his face. When Gojyo laughed a little did he notice that the red-head was only teasing him.

 

“Anyway, after this, do we still have to download Chin Iisou's profile?” Gojyo asked diverting the topic back to the mission.

 

“Yeah, so that tomorrow while scouting around we have enough time to go through his profile and at least be familiarized with his fighting style,” he answered with a nod. He was listening to Gojyo ordering from the menu but found the bright lights coming from the buildings lining the quiet street rather distracting. It reminded him of those nights with his father, coming home from a hard day's training and stopping by a kitchenette for dinner. Father usually had no time to make dinner and since he grew up never knowing his mother, he had to settle for the bland taste the kitchenette would offer him. Come to think of it, as far as he could remember, he had grown up around his father and the operatives. Had he ever found life outside this business?

 

“Oi, Hakkai, you still with me?” Gojyo asked, breaking through his thoughts and snapping a finger in front of his face. Hakkai only smiled, embarrassed to have been caught daydreaming in front of Gojyo.

 

“Sorry about that,” he said the smile not leaving his face. “The lights caught my attention. It just made me realize how simplicity can also be beautiful.”

 

Gojyo turned to follow the direction of Hakkai's gaze. Yellow lights illumined the streets and gave the road an almost antique impression to it, as if the place had been forgotten by time. It looked lonely to him but when he looked harder, he noticed that the lights brought out a beautiful hue to the sunflowers, almost making them look like small bulbs littering the streets.

 

“You looked gloomy more than being romantic when you were staring out like that,” Gojyo commented and looked back at him. “Reminded you of something?”

 

“Just a couple of memories I forgot to erase,” Hakkai said with a smile. Gojyo frowned. He was at it again, trying to fool him with those smiles, trying to mislead him into thinking that he was fine when all along something wrong was running in him. Gojyo was about to mutter something when he was suddenly cut short by a light tap on the shoulder.

 

“Uh excuse me, can we exchange tables with you?” Came the polite query. “My partner would have a fit if he saw that someone had already taken his favorite spot.”

 

Gojyo and Hakkai turned simultaneously to look at the owner of the voice and were both startled to see who the person standing before them was. Before Hakkai could say anything, the man with golden blond hair and purple eyes took a step back.

 

“Oi Sanzo, if they don't want to change, it's okay with me,” Came a lively call from behind the blond man. Hakkai and Gojyo turned to look at where the voice came from. True enough, the other boy Lirin had briefed them about was standing behind Genyo Sanzo, the man who had politely asked to change tables with them.

 

After a few minutes of tension-filled silence, Hakkai stood up and held out his hand towards Sanzo.

 

“It's been a while Sanzo,” Hakkai said with a smile. “We have something important to tell you.”

 

“It has been a while Cho Hakkai,” Sanzo replied and took the hand in a firm handshake. “Can we talk about this matter somewhere private?”

 

“EH?!” Goku interrupted and tugged at Sanzo's sleeve. “What about dinner?”

 

“Yeah, what about dinner?” Gojyo echoed and tugged at Hakkai's shirt. Goku flashed a look of annoyance at the red-head who was grinning at him.

 

Hakkai smiled, shrugged and moved aside to offer a seat to Sanzo. He looked at Gojyo and motioned to take the empty seat beside him so that Sanzo and Goku were sitting together. He was somehow thankful that the blond was not as wary as he had expected him to be, seems like he still had remembered him from their past training days together.

 

“Looks like we'll be sharing this table after all,” came the unconventional greeting from blond visitor. Hakkai could only offer yet another smile.

 

---

 

“Chin Iisou huh?” Sanzo said as he lit a cigarette. After the quiet dinner and the equally silent walk back to their apartment which just happened to be three doors down from where Hakkai and Gojyo was staying, Sanzo was now edgy from the news Hakkai had brought them. He stole a quick glance at the 18-year old boy playing cards with the red-head.

 

“You're worried for the boy,” Hakkai had said softly, just enough for both of them to hear. Sanzo took a drag from his cigarette and gave him a small nod. “Do you know why they're after you?”

 

“Well, isn't it obvious? They want me dead because I killed Johanssen,” Sanzo muttered and exhaled a cloud of smoke irritably.

 

“I think they want to get even first before killing you,” Hakkai said and looked at the brunette. “I just noticed we have the same hair color, only his is much lighter, don't you agree?”

 

“What does that suppose to mean?” He asked and looked at him through narrowed eyes, an obvious trait that showed his distrust.

 

“If they want to get even with you, they'll probably use the boy. And since I have the same hair color as his, I could work as a decoy,” he offered. “At least until we get back to the base where there would be sufficient protection for both of you.”

 

“I don't need protection,” Sanzo snapped and looked at the boy. “Goku's still not adept with his skills.”

 

“Skills? Are you training him, Sanzo?” Hakkai asked incredulously. He stared at the boy who looked no older than any of them with his care-free grin and loud laughter. He suddenly saw himself in the boy, being thrown into a pit of cold-blooded murderers who were only out to kill him for his hide.

 

“Don't compare yourself to him, Hakkai,” Sanzo said slowly. “Don't get me wrong, I know you think he's going through the same thing you did but the training his undergoing is necessary to keep him alive.”

 

Hakkai nodded and offered another apologetic smile, trying to hide his doubts about training the boy. Sanzo didn't seem to buy it but still let it pass. Hakkai would understand about the boy's welfare sooner or later. What mattered now is to keep all of them alive, most especially Goku.

 

“Sanzo, Gojyo's cheating!” Goku complained as the red-head one yet another round.

 

“Eh?! What made you say that?” Gojyo demanded. “You're just a sour-puss for losing.”

 

“I am not! Sanzo, he got these aces from the previous round and he still got them again now!” Goku exclaimed and rushed towards Sanzo holding out two pairs of aces.

 

“Just play quietly you two,” Sanzo said his temper rising. He usually got pissed off when Goku was doing all those whining voices all day long but now there were two of them. The two obviously had not heard his warning and continued bickering. Hakkai could only watch in amusement and disregard at the ensuing argument, knowing that it was just child's play and that the two won't draw guns at each other and draw blood.

 

“I said, play quietly!” Sanzo's voice thundered as he threw a pillow at their direction. The plump square throw pillow landed squarely on Gojyo's head. Hakkai and Goku had to put hands over their mouths to suppress the raging laughter filling their chests. Gojyo pulled at the cushion from his head and stalked towards Sanzo.

 

“You dumb ass, why did you hit me?”

 

“Because you're a bastard for trying to cheat a boy like that,” Sanzo replied. “It's like trying to cheat a school boy for his lunch money. How low can you get?”

 

“Are you saying I'm cheap?” Gojyo demanded. Sanzo shrugged and walked past him to get a bottle of beer. Gojyo was about to follow him when Hakkai stopped him by the arm. When he looked around he saw an apologetic smile on Hakkai's face. He breathed out angrily and stayed by his lover's side.

 

“Let's get down to business,” Hakkai said when Sanzo got back from the kitchen, a beer bottle in one hand and a can of orange juice in the other. As Sanzo sat down beside Goku, he handed the boy the orange juice, Hakkai couldn't help but smile at the sweet picture before him. Doesn't really remind him of Gojyo but the innocent love between the two was unmistaken.

 

“Sanzo, should I stay?” Goku said obviously uncomfortable at the eminent talk that was supposed to be between older people only. “I don't think I'm going to understand any of this.”

 

“Goku, it's time you get your act straight. You're eighteen and you can very well handle what ever comes your way,” Sanzo said firmly before taking a gulp of the beer. Goku nodded and quietly drank his juice, knowing that Sanzo didn't like senseless arguments. Besides, he had clearly made a point. He was old enough to take care of himself and possibly even to take care of Sanzo.

 

---

 

Goku was lying on the bed, sprawled over the sheets with a box of chocolates resting on his stomach. He looked up at the ceiling, picking out a piece of chocolate after thoughtfully eating it. Sanzo had gone with Hakkai and Gojyo to their apartment for Chin Iisou's profile. He had reminded Goku to secure all windows and bolt the door when he had gone. He knew that the blond was now on the end of his nerves at having another problem on their hands. And for someone who had worked hard to keep people from noticing them, let alone another assassin, Sanzo was obviously pissed at the persistent efforts of the Council to get rid of them.

 

He picked up another chocolate and tore through the foil wrapper. He had always been alone but he was thankful that he had Sanzo now. As far as he could remember, he had been wandering the streets. He started begging and when that didn't get enough food in his stomach; he'd steal fruits from stalls that were just too dumb to have kept watch on their merchandise. One day, some really nice guys came to pick him up and sent him to a shelter for kids like him. They bathed him, gave him clothes and food to eat. Even when the kids picked at him because he kept forgetting his own name, he still felt like he was happy. But dreams don't last forever and he had learned that fact the hard way.

 

The insistent buzzing in his ear tore him from his thoughts. He bolted upright and almost fell to the floor running. On the way out, he placed the box on the table. Suddenly, a rain of bullets tore through the door, sending Goku to dive for the kitchen counter, shielding his body from the attacks. With shaking hands, he searched for the spare Glock Sanzo kept near the kitchen sink. Could it be Chin Iisou, the man they had talked about an hour ago or was it someone else?

 

Goku started to breath steadily, trying to calm his racing heart and focus on the matter at hand. He tried to remember all the trainings he had underwent in the past. The gun in one hand, he searched for a mirror with the other, a tactic Sanzo had taught him earlier on. He used it to look at the door and see where the attacker was instead of showing his head. The door was still intact except for the bullet holes that had ripped through it. He was now certain that whoever was trying to kill him or Sanzo was not relying on sight but on the sound of their footsteps. If he hadn't stopped to place the box of chocolates on the table and had run straight for the door, he would have been riddled with bullets. He carefully removed a slipper and threw it at the door. True enough, a fire tore through where the slipper had landed.

 

Finally, after a few minutes of pondering what his next move would be, Goku had decided on his plan. Taking off his other slipper, he threw it at the door and at the same time pointed the gun at the exact same spot where the slipper had hit the door. Sure enough, the attacker fired another shot at the noise. Goku took the opportunity and quickly fired at where the shot had gone through. The gun jolted through his whole body, the sound ringing in his ear, and he could still feel the adrenaline rushing through his whole body. There was a dull thud coming from the other side of the door and before long, blood had seeped through the door and was staining the welcome mat that held two rubber slippers.

 

He wanted to go and open the door to check who the attacker was and be sure that he was dead. He wanted to make sure that he was safe and that Sanzo wouldn't be in harm's way when he got back from Hakkai's apartment. But his legs felt like lead, his whole body felt like ice and he could barely move a muscle. Goku continued to hide behind the kitchen counter, the gun still grasped tightly in his hands. All he was going to do now was wait for Sanzo to come and try his best not to pass out from the over load of adrenaline and fear in his blood.

 

---

 

Hakkai could not even stop Sanzo from rushing out of the apartment when gunfire tore through the stillness of the night. With the katana in hand and Gojyo following behind them, they had rushed towards the direction of the gunfire. There, in a pool of blood was some unknown killer no doubt the Council had sent them. He looked up and saw the door was full of bullet holes. He wondered why they had not heard this before, given that there were so many bullets used. Gojyo having sensed his confusion held up a Magnum with a silencer nozzle attached to it.

 

“Goku!” Sanzo called out and pushed open the door, nudging the corpse with his foot to gain space to enter the apartment. They almost slipped when they stepped on the coagulated blood that had seeped through the floor. When they entered the apartment, a bullet whizzed past their heads and hit the wall just beside Gojyo's head. The red-head instinctively aimed at where the bullet came and saw that the boy was pointing at them, apparently thinking that the killer was still alive and had decided to enter the room.

 

Sanzo carefully pryed the gun from the steel-like grip the boy possessed, whispering soothing words and slowly wiping the sweat from the forehead of the boy, checking from time to time if the boy has come around. Slowly, the color came back to the boy's face and his fingers loosened its grip on the Glock. He turned to look up at the blond, eyes growing wide with unspoken gratitude at the familiar face before him. Hakkai and Gojyo couldn't help but be touched by the scene unfolding before them, a scene they rarely saw in their lives. It was unusual to find two humans being so close together especially in this kind of world they lived in. Somehow they felt like they weren't alone in the world anymore.

 

“We should clean this mess up,” Gojyo finally said when he figured that the boy was going to be fine. “If the place was swarming with police, we'd have a lot of explaining to do and the spotlight on our every move. And knowing how we people move, that is something we try to avoid.”

 

“You go and calm Goku up, Sanzo,” Hakkai said and started for the door, rolling up his sleeveless and cuffs. “Gojyo, would you kindly go and get the mop?”

 

“Hey, you owe us for this,” Gojyo said with a smirk and watched Sanzo carry the shaken boy into their room. With a sigh, he looked for the mop, found one in the water closet and set out to clean the already drying blood. He found Hakkai, dragging the corpse into a large trash bin, and then setting out inside the apartment to find garbage needed to stuff it in.

 

“Now I know why you never do any of your `cleaning'” Gojyo said and looked at the uncharacteristic shoving Hakkai was doing in futile attempt to cover the overflowing trash bin. The other man looked up and gave him a sarcastic smile.

 

“As if you do any of you cleaning, Gojyo.”

 

“Will they be alright, those two?” Gojyo asked and cocked his head towards the direction of the two. “The boy seemed pretty shook up. Must be his first time to fire a real gun. The boy seemed pretty out of it like after firing the gone he just left his body and went on assassin mode.

 

“Must be,” Hakkai said and closed the lid over the bin. “That's the usual reaction of first timers to life-threatening situations. They do it and then become detached, the shock just overwhelming them for the time being. But after a few more similar incidents, they'll go on fine.”

 

“Like you Hakkai?” came the question. “Were you like that before, gone into shock and just treated everything like a game?”

 

“I did go into shock,” he answered, staring down at his hands. “But I never treated it like a game the way Zakuro or this Chin Iisou character looks at human lives. I work for the operatives because I think they still believe in a bit of justice and cause.”

 

“It isn't true that assassins are cold, unfeeling and just downright evil,” Sanzo's voce came from the door. “When I started in this business, I went into shock for almost a week. My operatives couldn't talk to me because I wasn't responding. A lot of my colleagues thought I had gone crazy.”

 

“But Father trained you how to handle with these things right?” Hakkai asked, his eyes hidden from sight. “He told you that after you feel the pain, the guilt and everything else, you just learn to move on. To think that you should be fighting on the right side.”

 

Sanzo nodded. “Your father was a wise man, Hakkai. Even if he worked as an assassin, he chose his assignments well. He told me before that he wanted to clean this world, one evil at a time, even at the expense of his soul.”

 

“Even at the expense of Hakkai's soul?” Gojyo interjected, lighting a cigarette and then looking at Sanzo. “Cause that how it seems like that now, since Hakkai's the one taking up his father's footsteps.”

 

“Believe it or not, but Hakkai's father never wanted him to be an assassin like me or him,” Sanzo said slowly and looked at Hakkai. “He wanted Hakkai to work for the army or the navies because he believed that these institutions have a firm ground on morality unlike in the operatives were morality and sometimes duty comes to a hazy difference. That's why when your father died I knew he was heart-broken to see that you were going to take his place. And I saw the same thing in you when I went to the funeral.”

 

“I never wanted to follow in his footsteps, I did want to be in the army but I never thought that was why he was training me so hard,” he answered slowly. “I just thought he was preparing me for the whole business that he was going to leave behind sooner or later.”

 

“How's the boy going?” Gojyo asked, interrupting the tense atmosphere hanging above their heads. “Is he feeling better now?”

 

“Goku's asleep,” Sanzo answered and glanced back into the apartment. “This isn't the first time we've had an encounter like this. This is however, something, we had not expected to occur in such a short amount of time.”

 

“You've been attacked before?” Hakkai asked incredulously. “But you're working covert now, how did they get to know your location?”

 

“You know the Council, they have money to burn,” Sanzo said with an annoyed flick of the finger. “They get low-lives like these to come and kill me and Goku. But this Chin Iisou he's something else.”

 

“What made you say that?” Gojyo said, his hand suddenly still on the mop's handle. “You worked with him before?”

 

“Not me, but your father,” he replied and motioned to Hakkai. “He worked with him on one assignment after that he declined any further pairings with him. If I remember correctly, you father mentioned that he laughed like he was enjoying ripping the intestines out of the man.”

 

Hakkai and Gojyo considerably paled and looked disgusted. Sanzo shrugged and lit a cigarette.

 

“Shti happens, you know. It's not like you haven't seen that before,” he added. “If I knew better I'd say you've changed yourself Hakkai.”

 

Hakkai's eye involuntarily flicked over to Gojyo who had gone back to his mopping. The red-head obviously had not noticed the statement directed at both of them. Sanzo smirked and took a deep drag from the cigarette.

 

---

 

When he had stepped into that bathroom stall, he still wasn't prepared for the sight of a boy huddled in a corner, eyes wide with fear. The boy he had earlier seen at an auction, with those pleading eyes and tear-stricken cheeks, seemed to be calling out to him when those golden orbs maintained contact with his. He felt his heart was being wrenched and torn into two as the boy was finally escorted a way to a man he had known as Martin Johanssen. What was even more heart-wrenching was the fact that boy had looked back at him with unspeakable pleading in his eyes. But nothing had prepared him for the sight of the boy, all black and blue from bruises, who was trying to wedge himself further into the space between the tub and the sink.

 

He had ignored the nails tearing through his skin or the kicks he received all over his body. The boy was obviously scared and was thinking that he was there to harm him. However, when he managed to drag the boy from the small space, he immediately put his arms around the boy even though he had not stopped thrashing around. He gritted his teeth as the boy's nails bit into his skin, drawing out blood.

 

“Hush, don't be scared, I won't hurt you,” he had whispered softly in the boy's ear. “It'll be alright now, everything will be fine.”

 

After a few minutes of pacificing the struggling boy, he was rewarded with a soft whimper of surrender as the boy finally rested calmly in his arms except for the furious heaving of his chest. He cradled the boy's frail form in his arms, holding him close against his chest.

 

“Who are you?” The boy asked, his voice muffled against the fabric of his shirt. He lifted the face up to look at his, staring deep into the wide and frightened eyes.

 

“I'm going to protect you from now on,” came his soft reply before the boy finally lost consciousness in his arms. And that was a promise he was not going to break. But now, sitting here next to the boy he had saved before, he was afraid that the day might come when he couldn't protect him anymore.

 

“Sanzo,” the boy stirred in his bed. “Are you alright?”

 

“I should be asking you that question,” he replied instead. The truth was he was shaken to the core but was too ashamed to admit it to the boy. “How are you feeling?”

 

“A little dizzy,” the boy admitted before turning to look at him. “I could still hear the gun firing off in my ear.”

 

“That'll pass after a few hours or so,” he said and placed a hand on the boy's.

 

“What is it Sanzo? You seem to be restless. Is anything wrong?”

 

He slowly brought his hand to rest at the boy's face, cupping the soft cheek in his hand before sighing. Goku stiffened at the reaction. This was something Sanzo normally did when he was bothered by something and was just afraid to tell him what was wrong.

 

“Something's bothering you,” he said and tried to sit up but Sanzo firmly held him to the bed. “Why don't you just tell me what it is?”

 

“I'm just worried about you,” he said slowly and caressed the skin beneath his thumb. “I know this isn't the first time we've been attacked, but this is the first time that I almost came this close to losing you.”

 

This time, Goku forced his way to stand up and stare at the older man. He took the hand that was touching his face, gripping it in his hands. He looked into those warm amethyst eyes, pleading for an answer.

 

“Don't lie to me Sanzo,” Goku said, eyes wide with unspoken emotions. “I can see right through you so just please don't lie to me.”

 

“I know how Chin Iisou works,” he said quietly, eyes looking away from the probing stare. “I know that he'll use you to get to me, and I just can't let that happen, Goku.”

 

“So what are you trying to tell me? You want us to go with Hakkai to their base where it's safe?”

 

“I think it will be the best for both of us.”

 

“And what about you? I'll be staying behind while you, Hakkai and Gojyo go out to look for this Chin iisou? Is that what you're trying to say?” Goku said loudly, his temper flaring at the subtle attempt of Sanzo to put his self in danger in place of him.

 

“It would be for the best,” Sanzo said and stood up, obviously trying to put a close to the impending argument. “We'll leave for their base the day after tomorrow.”

 

“I don't give a shit if we're going there or not but I am not going to let you handle Chin Iisou without me,” he shot back, completely ignoring what he had said earlier. “I may not be as good as Hakkai or Gojyo but I can handle myself.”

 

“We're tired Goku, get some rest,” Sanzo continued and made for the door. Before Sanzo's hand could even reach the knob, a pillow had hit him squarely on the head. As the pillow slipped to the floor, he spun on his heel and went straight for the defiant teenager.

 

“I won't die on you Sanzo,” Goku said loudly, hoping that his voice would reach the man's ears. But he was answered by a steel-like grip on his shoulders.

 

“That's one thing I cannot afford to gamble,” Sanzo rasped and gave him a slight shake. “Don't be too sure of yourself when you have even finished training yet.”

 

“Do you know why I haven't finished training yet?” Goku challenged and answered his own question before Sanzo could even open his mouth. “It's because you keep postponing our training because you're afraid I might turn into a cold-blooded killer—”

 

Sanzo's face grew tight and blank as words that Goku hoped he could swallow again, reverberated against the thick walls of their bedroom.

 

“Go on, finish what you were supposed to say,” Sanzo prodded, his eyes turning into a darker shade and gave him another shake, this time harder than the first. “You don't want to be a cold-blooded killer like me right?”

 

“That wasn't what I—”

 

“SHUT THE FUCK UP!” Sanzo shouted and pushed the boy back to fall on the bed. He turned around for the door but Goku's hand grabbed his wrist.

 

“You keep on protecting me because you don't want me to be like you. You're afraid of what I might become. How many times have I asked you to train me? How many times have you told me that I don't need to go into training because you can do protect me? How many times must you close me off and lay the burden on yourself alone, Sanzo? Tell me, how many times!” Goku shouted angrily. “We're partners damn it! We rely on each other and here you are taking every responsibility about us, about me!”

 

“Because I can't stand the guilt of watching you going down the road to hell!” Sanzo responded with equal vehemence. “Yes, you're right I don't want you to be like me because I'm soulless, because at this very moment my soul could be burning in hell and do you think I want that for you?! Do you know how I felt when I saw you holding that gun? Do you know how painful it is to bear the guilt of sending another child to hell?!”

 

“Sanzo—”

 

“Go to sleep, Goku,” Sanzo interrupted him and rushed to the door. This time the boy made no move to stop him from his exit. As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, Sanzo rested his head against the door and slid to rest on the floor.

 

From the other side of the door, Goku knew that Sanzo was still there, protecting him as always. He slowly crept out of bed and sat next to the door, his head resting on the wooden panel.

 

You have no idea Goku, how much you mean to me, Sanzo thought. I'd die for you if I have to.

---

 

“I'm kinda having second thoughts about leaving them alone,” Gojyo said as he stared at the ceiling, waiting for Hakkai to finish his shower. It had been a long night and disposing of the body was harder than they had expected. They had to drag the trash bin all the way up to the roof top and then haul it over to the next building, and they had to do it all by themselves because Hakkai didn't think it was a good idea leaving Goku alone.

 

“They'll be fine,” Hakkai reassured him as he stepped out of the shower, a towel draped around his waist, his hair still dripping wet. Gojyo could suddenly feel something in him grow alive. Knowing that Hakkai was probably too tired for anything strenuous, he pulled the sheet over his body. But Hakkai had already noticed the grow bulge even underneath the sheets.

 

“You still seem to be experiencing some kind of adrenaline rush, Gojyo,” he said and eyed the incessant growth in his pants. Gojyo sat up and pulled Hakkai towards the bed.

 

“Well, you have to admit, the way you walked out from the shower, with your hair still wet, drops of water still on your skin and this flimsy towel around you,” he said and gave it a soft tug to reveal an already stiffening member. “Seems like you've been doing some fantasizing yourself while in the shower.”

 

Hakkai leaned forward and cupped Gojyo's face in his hand while the other one pulled the sheets back before climbing in the bed.

 

“I don't think it will do that I'm all naked and you're all clothed up,” Hakkai said with a smile and pulled Gojyo's shirt over his head. “Besides, it's a nice way to warm up with two hot bodies together, right?”

 

Gojyo's answer was a deep kiss, forcing his tongue inside the waiting mouth of his lover. Hakkai happily took his tongue and lavished it with his own. Before they knew it, they were both panting hard on top of each other, sweating and spent from a quick distraction from the night's occurrences. Hakkai propped himself up on one elbow and picked the towel he had used to slowly wiped off the sticky liquid on Gojyo's stomach before placing a quick kiss on the red head's forehead.

 

“That was quick,” Gojyo said in mock disappointment. “Looks like we've been waiting for too long.”

 

“You bastard,” Hakkai said with a small laugh. “We'll get more time for each other once we're back at the base where it's safer.”

 

“Those two, will they be okay?”

 

“You seem to be very concerned about them,” Hakkai observed the smile not leaving his lips. “That's a new thing for Sha Gojyo.”

 

“Don't tease me,” he answered with a smile. “But seriously, do you think they'll be okay?”

 

Hakkai shrugged. “Physically, they can always count on us for back up but emotionally, that's one thing they have to handle themselves.”

 

“Sanzo seemed pretty worked up awhile ago over Goku. He almost looked like he'd freak out.”

 

“Well, Sanzo did save the boy from eminent danger before and I think he made a promise to himself to always protect the boy no matter what,” came the thoughtful answer. “I think we can relate to that pretty much.”

 

“Well, we can say that for ourselves,” Gojyo said and walked over to shut the lights out before going back to bed and lie down next to Hakkai, pulling the covers over them. “We know we love each other.”

 

“Meaning?” Hakkai asked sleepily, snuggling close to the taller man, head nestled against the other's neck.

 

“I'm not sure they've talked about what they are to each other, partners, lovers or you know… like us.”

 

“They'll figure it out the way we did,” Hakkai murmured and finally fell asleep. Gojyo smiled and placed a kiss on the brunette's forehead. Sometimes, Hakkai knew just the right words to say.

 

To be continued…