GetBackers Fan Fiction ❯ The Weight ❯ Chapter 1

“The Weight”
By Viridian5
2/15/05

RATING: NC-17; Jubei/Kazuki/Toshiki. If m/m thoughts bother you, pass this by.
SPOILERS: Bits from episodes 13, 14, 17-19, 26, 43-49.
SUMMARY: Responsibility goes two ways. Or three.
ARCHIVAL/DISTRIBUTION: Anywhere, as long as you ask me first.
FEEDBACK: can be sent to Viridian5@aol.com.
DISCLAIMERS: All things GetBackers are owned by Rando Ayamine & Yuuya Aoki, Kodansha, Ltd. Publishers, TBS, Inc., and KONAMI & Konami Computer Entertainment Japan. No infringement intended.

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“The Weight”
By Viridian5
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They’d won a great victory today. Mugenjou had been liberated from Brain Trust’s sadistic control. They’d saved Makube X and Sakura’s lives. Toshiki, Teshimine, and Masaki had reappeared. Kazuki had enjoyed the victory party and camaraderie along with everyone else.

But with Ginji-san gone back to the outside, Ren returned to her grandfather for now, and night fallen, Kazuki started to feel a cold spot in his heart as the misgivings took him. He’d sworn to stay and protect Mugenjou, since Brain Trust would surely try to regain what it had lost, and as he thought about it reality asserted itself and the responsibility started to weigh on him.

He’d begun to build a life for himself outside, as Ginji and Shido had, and it had been working. But where Ginji had the justification of staying away from Mugenjou and his old responsibilities with the very real possibility that his abilities as Raitei would consume him and destroy everyone he loved, Kazuki had no such excuse. Ginji could be Mido Ban’s partner, free. Shido had his animals, who followed him, and nothing left in Mugenjou but nostalgia and friends he occasionally visited.

Kazuki couldn’t be free. He had dependents. Dependents who tended to turn on him in resentment and confusion if he left them alone. Jubei had after Kazuki had left to go looking for Ginji. Ren had after he’d left Mugenjou the last time. Toshiki had left him and disappeared when he’d dissolved Fuuga to join Ginji’s Volts and returned now to help Masaki and Brain Trust.

Ren literally could not exist outside of Mugenjou, and on bad days it ate at her. Jubei didn’t do well outside anymore. Kazuki didn’t know for sure how Toshiki felt about anything, although it sounded as if he’d been outside all this time, so at least he might be fine.

Toshiki had been so bitter over what he’d seen as Kazuki’s favoritism toward Jubei and been reduced to tears when Kazuki had proven today that he’d always noticed him. Toshiki... worshipped him in some way, and it was terrifying. So did Jubei, to the point that he’d decided that being blind for the rest of his life was just punishment for having turned against Kazuki that once. Yet they worshipped him in a way that kept him at a distance on a pedestal and allowed them to use disappointment in his perceived failures as reason to strike at him.

Jubei worshipped him, yet had felt that it was far more important to find Toshiki and try to beat the shit out of him for the insult of turning on Kazuki than to try to save Makube X and Mugenjou. Perhaps it had come from his guilt over doing similar not that long ago. Kazuki had finally realized what was going on--he’d never seen the jealousy before because the thought had just been so stupid!--and stopped them from killing one another, but even with their new alliance they were still “Kakei” and “Uryu” to each other, formal and distant, and continued a sense of competition. Over what? Over Kazuki’s attention? How well could Jubei and Toshiki possibly work together?

It could be a crushing thing to have so much responsibility and so little real power.

Kazuki knew what Ban thought of his relationship with Jubei, but Ban was wrong. They had never been lovers, not even on those coldest winter Mugenjou nights when the other Volts would dogpile in search of warmth, which often led to other things. From a distance away Kazuki would listen to them and bite his lip, knowing that Jubei’s strong bulk at his back and warm arms around his waist would be as much as he could expect. Jubei would not let his lord so besmirch himself.

No matter how much his lord might ask. No matter how much his lord loved him and wanted.

Now he might have both Toshiki and Jubei trying to “protect” him from each other and anyone else. The people who stayed closest to him were servants where he tried so hard for friends. Surrounded by people, in many ways he was still alone.

Mugenjou was a virtual hell, closed-in, half unreal, predetermined by a group of megalomaniacal sadists. That suffocating cocoon of fate might be ended now after today’s work... or might not. Outside, Kazuki had interacted with people, a few who knew him and many who didn’t, in a random, real world. That was the world he’d belonged to before he and Jubei had fled his family’s destroyers by coming here. There he could be the Fuchoin heir, not that that meant anything anymore to anyone other than Jubei, or Kazuki of the Strings, annaiya, or that weird guy who looked so much like a girl, whatever he chose. There, he had power.

But he had a responsibility here to Jubei and Toshiki and Ren and Makube X and the people of Lower Town. And he still didn’t know why, in her last words, Mother had told him to go to Mugenjou.

Kazuki suspected that he had a reputation for serenity amongst his friends. It had been part of his family training to seem so serene no matter how he felt inside to inspire calm in others. He would smile and clear all the dark thoughts from his face. A lady did that. A ruler did that.

“Kazuki,” Jubei said as he and Toshiki approached. It still gave Kazuki such a pang to see them together after years of Toshiki being gone. It had hurt when he’d left in disapproval of Kazuki dissolving his own gang to join the Volts.

Kazuki realized that he leaned back against the wall and had his hands clenched in front of his mouth. Jubei might be blind, but he’d gained a different kind of awareness and “saw” some things in some ways. Kazuki straightened, set his hands down, and put his serene smile on for Jubei and Toshiki.

Jubei looked as if he might touch Kazuki if he believed it right for a Kakei to touch the Fuchoin heir if not healing or protecting him or specifically invited to. Kazuki had tried to invite him to before, but it had been a matter of him ordering each touch, one by one, and so depressed him that he’d stopped and never tried it again. Jubei had held him after they’d escaped the destruction of the Fuchoin family but apologized so profusely afterwards for his presumption that he’d spent more time asking for a forgiveness he didn’t feel he deserved than hugging.

Unexpectedly, Toshiki clasped Kazuki’s wrist and rubbed gentle circles on it with his thumb. It was comforting and arousing at once. When Kazuki had touched Toshiki’s wrist earlier, it hadn’t been anything this sensual.

Toshiki touched him. Toshiki tried to fit himself in with them again after years away and tested the waters.

“Uryu,” Jubei growled.

Toshiki’s blue eyes were intent and earnest. “I had heard so much about the two of you. You’re legends in so many ways. When I joined Fuuga, I saw the love I expected,” his voice turned a little bitter there, “but so little touching, at least from Jubei to you. I thought that must be by mutual choice. But it isn’t, is it?”

Kazuki would not lie, even if it did look like Toshiki meant to stir up a little trouble. “It isn’t,” he answered softly.

Jubei said, “You never--” Then his expression changed. “You did ask.”

“I understand if you don’t feel the way I do,” Kazuki said. “Perhaps you thought to keep me pure and untouched for an alliance/marriage to another family?” At Jubei’s sound of assent, Kazuki continued, “Jubei, that world is gone. I’m heir to nothing now but my name and the Fuchoin string techniques.”

“You can get back what was stolen from you.”

“No. They may have cleared the Fuchoin lands through arson and murder, but they cemented their claim through legal means. The lands and fortune belong to them by law. They’ve developed and modernized the area. I’ve seen it. You would barely recognize it now.” But Kazuki had recognized the people in charge of it now, and like hell they’d lucked into stewardship.

“If you could see it,” Toshiki said, then colored a little at Kazuki’s look. “I’m sorry.”

“If you went to the other families, surely at least one would be willing to address this injustice,” Jubei replied.

“If there had been outrage over what happened to us, it blew over years ago. Now they would expect a rich reward in exchange for their help. They would expect to own me and the Fuchoin techniques. I would be forced to fight my allies after my enemies.”

“There has to be some decent allies out there!”

“Probably. There might even be one good enough to remain good even within sight of victory and all the Fuchoin inheritance. But it’s more likely that families and schools would take sides, break into factions, and fight one another through legal and illegal means. I would destroy many lives and the balance of things completely. I would like justice, but the things don’t matter to me. My inheritance is too costly, and after all of that there might not be anything left of it.” The school had always been the most important thing to Mother anyway, although Kazuki didn’t know if he had any aptitude for teaching his skills.

“You know that I would go with you to fight for it.”

Kazuki could imagine Jubei’s methods of such. “We would probably be arrested.” It made him smile. “Even amidst tradition-bound people, we are anachronisms. There will be no alliance/marriage. The only family or school that would truly be interested in me I wouldn’t want to have standing at my back. Thus, there is no need to protect my virtue. I want you to know that I am heir to naught.” Seeing the almost smug look on Toshiki’s face, Kazuki said, “Jubei, I would understand if you’d wish to leave me knowing that I am the ruler of nothing.”

Knowing whom that barb had truly been aimed at, Toshiki made a sound combining sadness and anger but kept his hold on Kazuki’s wrist.

“Never,” Jubei said. “My devotion has never been about tradition and familial bonds for me. I follow you for love of your character. I have ever since we first met.”

“Good. Because I treasure you for you, not for what you can do for me. I love you.”

“But I’ve failed you.”

“No. We’ll always be friends. You can love me however you please.” Kazuki would take what he could get. “If you don’t wish to touch me, I wouldn’t mind. If you only wanted to touch me in friendship, I also wouldn’t mind. If... more, well. I would never want you to feel that it was a duty, or that you’re ordered to. If it’s not already there, it’s not. It’s fine. If I felt that you were doing anything to... service me out of a sense of obligation, it would kill me.”

With the air of someone doing something greatly daring, Jubei put his hand on Kazuki’s shoulder. “Never.”

It left him feeling strangely tethered to these two, one warm hand still rubbing circles on his wrist and the other so present, perfectly tangible even through the fabric of his shirt. For now they kept him in place, with them. He tried not to think that they might try to tear him in two.

“A hallway isn’t the place for this,” Jubei said softly.

“This is Mugenjou. There’s no true privacy anywhere.”

“There’s the delusion of privacy.” Jubei let him go. Of course. Jubei stared at Toshiki until Toshiki let go of Kazuki’s wrist. They walked on.

All too aware of past mistakes, Toshiki watched them carefully now. Once, he’d thought them to be a unified front, one in mind, too close and tight to allow them to notice anyone else.

But when Toshiki returned to Mugenjou and joined Masaki’s Four, he started to hear things. Kazuki had left Mugenjou alone to look for Raitei. When he returned, Kakei had tried to kill him to prove his loyalty to Makube X. Kakei had struck from behind.... Only Kazuki’s skill had saved his life. Even after they reconciled, Kazuki returned to the outside while Kakei stayed within Mugenjou.

From what Toshiki saw, they were still friends now, but a rift remained between them. Resentment lingered. They didn’t share the same desires and goals.

It must hurt Kazuki. Toshiki couldn’t tell whether Kakei noticed the problems.

Could there possibly be any room for Toshiki within the tangle? Perhaps he should have left again. But Kakei asking him to stay with them had been so surprising, while Kazuki had been so blatantly glad to have him back. They’d said that they and Mugenjou needed him.

Would it help them or hurt them if Toshiki showed them what he saw of them? What did he hope to accomplish here?

He had to be careful and he had to be right. His misjudgment before had led to him exiling himself from the person he cared for most. In the hallway he’d spoken spontaneously, responding to Kazuki’s obvious distress and guessing some of the cause. It could have been a mistake, but Kazuki had been honest in response. Kazuki tended to be honest most of the time and evasive when he couldn’t be honest, seldom lying.

Could he have just asked Kazuki those years ago and avoided so much trouble?

Kazuki and Kakei had grown up since he’d seen them. Kazuki no longer looked so girlishly soft, but his prettiness had become a more refined and thoughtful beauty that didn’t hide his strength. Somehow you could see his compassion and determination just looking at him, even more now than ever. Kakei had become wider and somehow denser, as if he’d compressed upon himself. The attractive boy had become an intimidating man.

The room Kakei led them to was small and nearly bare. It had a mattress with neat sheets, a table, and crates. A bare bulb hung from the ceiling. Kazuki turned it on. Well, Kakei didn’t need it anymore. They stood so close together, with Kakei just slightly behind Kazuki. Toshiki remembered pressing his hand against Kazuki’s warm back as Kazuki suddenly flung himself between them, trusting that putting his body in their way would force them to stop attacking each other. Kazuki trusted them so much, and did they really deserve it?

Toshiki didn’t see how this could work with the three of them.

“Please don’t go, Toshiki,” Kazuki said. “I don’t want you to disappear again."

“It would be easier.”

“For whom?”

“Don’t go, Uryu,” Kakei said, to Toshiki’s surprise.

“We have to decide how we’ll write our future,” Kazuki said.

The discussion in the hallway might as well have not happened. Or perhaps Kazuki had already seen an answer in Kakei’s response there. An answer that was obviously “No.”

He would have to bring them back to it eventually. He knew loneliness and the feeling of being trapped too well not to see it in Kazuki’s dark eyes.

“How long do you intend to stay in Mugenjou?” Kakei asked.

“For the foreseeable future. I won’t know for certain until I get a better look at the new situation here.” Kazuki looked and sounded thoughtful and resigned.

“Kazuki... in answer to our discussion in the hallway, I have been so interested in you for a long time and told myself not to be because it wouldn’t be right.”

Kakei had surprised Toshiki with that. Kazuki as well, from the tone of his “Jubei!”

“We were talking about sex, right?” Kakei smiled a little.

“Yes.”

Kakei set his hand to the side of Kazuki’s face and smiled more as Kazuki pressed into it. They could get like this sometimes, so deep in their own world together that other people felt invisible. Toshiki supposed that he had done a good thing here, getting them to connect in the way they should have been connecting.

As he turned to go, Kakei said, “Wait, Toshiki.”

“Unless you want me to watch, there’s no reason for me to stay here right now,” Toshiki answered, then stopped when he realized which name Kakei had used.

“I haven’t seen anything for some time, but I know how you looked at Kazuki and how he looked at you. With how I am now, I feel that the attraction and affection remain. Am I wrong?”

Toshiki remembered how Kakei would put himself in the path of injury to protect Kazuki.

“Jubei, what are you thinking?” Kazuki asked. “If you’re planning on some ostentatious act of self-sacrifice, I’m not going along. I wouldn’t do something that would cause you pain.”

“What if I’m interested as well? Would that make a difference?”

Kazuki looked as stunned as Toshiki felt as he said, “Yes.”

“What do you think, Toshiki?”

He was being offered a chance with someone who’d fascinated him to the point of obsession and someone he’d considered a worthy rival. He’d seen Kazuki’s lithe flexibility and Kakei’s strength in battle. Before he’d seen for himself the nature of their relationship, he’d wondered what they were like together.

Surely Kakei would say that he was joking about this. But Kakei never joked.

They loved each other. Toshiki knew better than to think that Kazuki’s affection for him could come close to that. But how else would he know whether he could make himself a place with them unless he tried it?

“I am also interested,” Toshiki answered.

Kazuki blushed a little. If nothing else, saying “Yes” had gotten Toshiki that.

None of them moved. Toshiki and Kazuki stared at each other. Kakei did the blind version of that. Finally, Kazuki laughed. “I don’t know how to go about this.”

“I don’t either,” Toshiki answered.

Kakei gently pulled Kazuki in from behind, and Kazuki melted in his almost cradling arms, sighing as Jubei kissed his neck. He was beautiful like this, with his eyes closed in pleasure and trust. “Jubei....”

Toshiki watched in surprise as Kakei had Kazuki writhing, almost whimpering, with a few touches. Not even obviously erotic touches either. Kakei seemed to be alternating his stroking with... pressing his fingers down in places.

Of course. Jubei of the Flying Needles knew pressure points well.

Toshiki came in to kiss Kazuki and smiled at how Kazuki bucked against him. His hand stroked over Kazuki’s arm and then over Kakei’s. As he and Kakei had Kazuki pinned between them, they touched him and felt the echoes of his reactions. Sometimes he touched Kakei and Kakei touched him, and it all felt so good. They wanted him.

This might be over before any of them even took off their clothes.

Jubei had needed to feel Kazuki’s laugh, and that had led to this. He’d wanted Kazuki for so long but denied it. Denied this. Now he wondered what those wasted years could have been like and wondered if having this might have prevented Kazuki from ever leaving.

Kazuki had asked for this before, but not as something he’d wanted himself. He’d asked if Jubei wanted this, wanted more, but Jubei wouldn’t allow himself to want. Kazuki had no doubt feared that saying he wanted it would turn into an order and a duty.

It was obvious now. They’d needed Uryu to come in and show them what had been there all along.

Jubei had reasons to believe that he’d been struck blind as punishment for not seeing what had been in front of him all along and that he saw in different, sometimes deeper, ways now. Yet Uryu watched them for about a day and cut to the heart of the problem.

No, not Uryu. Toshiki. If Toshiki would be part of this, Jubei owed him the use of the more intimate name.

Kazuki felt so good trembling in his arms and pressing against his lips. Jubei had touched him for years but in a clinical way. Now he applied the knowledge he’d used to heal and block pain to give pleasure instead.

“Jubei....”

No one else said his name with such love, and now desire turned it deeper and thicker and more affecting. It set him on fire with need. Kazuki had to know now just from feeling it that Jubei wanted him badly.

Uryu... Toshiki came up and pressed Kazuki into him more. Together they undid Kazuki with their mouths and hands, and Kazuki’s writhing and Toshiki’s stray touches increased Jubei’s lust.

Toshiki had always given Kazuki hungry looks, and Kazuki’s talk of how beautiful Toshiki’s fighting style looked, like dancing, had only made Jubei more resentful of him. Toshiki’s striking looks hadn’t helped either. Yet he wouldn’t have Kazuki in his arms right now if not for this upstart.

It really might be for the best that Toshiki was here to keep the momentum going, since Jubei kept fighting the temptation to just explore Kazuki’s body endlessly, keeping him on the edge and refusing to let him climax. He was accustomed to denying himself release, and Kazuki’s movements against him, panting, and soft murmurs fascinated him. Bells pealed softly at every shift of Kazuki’s body. His soft hair felt warm against Jubei’s chin, while his skin felt so hot under Jubei’s stroking and pressing fingers. Jubei didn’t need more than this.

“Please, Jubei....” Kazuki moaned, begging him, and Jubei felt Toshiki looking at him with annoyance and impatience.

Jubei snaked his hand between Toshiki and Kazuki’s body and moved it up under Kazuki’s shirt to unbutton Kazuki’s fly. The movement of Kazuki’s hips against his hand and groin drove him to distraction. He wouldn’t last long and hoped to climax along with Kazuki.

Kazuki hadn’t expected any of this. He couldn’t think. He didn’t know where to put his hands but felt them occasionally reach Jubei’s arm or Toshiki’s waist or hair. With the both of them hard against him and touching him, his whole body throbbed and twitched with pleasure and sensation. It almost hurt. Some things he lost track of under the overload. He recognized Jubei’s hand down his pants, on him, stroking and gripping, as Jubei also rocked against him from behind. Toshiki claimed his mouth, swallowing his cries and harsh panting.

Jubei’s hand suddenly twisting along his length in just the right way pulled him out of himself and made him black out for a moment from the sweet, overwhelming relief of release. When he came to, wrung out and sleepy, he saw Toshiki licking Jubei’s fingers. The sight sent sparks through him that he felt too limp to do anything about.

“Jubei, did you....” Kazuki couldn’t quite finish a thought.

“About the time you did,” Jubei answered, the low rumble of his voice traveling through Kazuki’s sensitized body, which he was holding up.

“I wanted to do more for you.”

“We’ve held back from each other for years. There was no way we’d last long. Besides,” Jubei kissed the side of his face, “you did more than you realize.”

“Toshiki...?”

“I didn’t,” Toshiki answered with a soft smile.

They needed to do something for him.

“Let’s take this to the bed,” Jubei said.

That sounded like a good idea to Kazuki, who didn’t think he could stand on his own.

Kazuki looked nearly boneless as he sat slouched on the bed looking up at Toshiki. Pliable. Willing. Wanting. His deep, dark eyes seemed to devour Toshiki’s face, making him shiver.

When Kazuki gave you his full attention, you felt like the only person in the world. It hadn’t surprised Toshiki at all to find that that girl, Ren, had fallen to his charm. Kazuki was just being himself and probably hadn’t even known what he’d done at the time.

After feeling Kazuki writhe and come against him as they’d kissed, Toshiki didn’t need much more to climax himself. He crouched down in front of him to kiss him again and sighed at the feel of Kazuki’s fingers gliding over his hard cock straining the front of his pants and settling at the top button, then undoing it and the zipper.

Yesterday Toshiki never could have imagined having this, yet now he felt so greedy. He wanted to touch Kazuki all over, stroke his bare skin, run his hands through all of that hair, and make him moan and whimper for more. Who would have guessed that someone so soft-spoken could be so vocal during sex? He wanted to feel Kazuki under him and press him down into the bed as he thrust and thrust and thrust, losing himself. Right now he had one of Kazuki’s hands in his hair pulling the tie out, while the other grasped his cock. His fingers were long and slim and callused from years of using the koto strings, seemingly delicate yet strong. They could only be Kazuki’s.

Toshiki came. He couldn’t help himself.

“You barely needed me,” Kazuki murmured.

“You were responsible. Don’t doubt that.”

Kazuki blushed. It was sweet and arousing and made Toshiki wonder if Kazuki’s earlier talk about Jubei keeping him untouched meant that he had been a virgin prior to tonight. If Toshiki hadn’t spent himself entirely already....

Kazuki was half-hard again. Toshiki had tasted him on Jubei’s fingers, but now he wanted more.

Having an idea, Toshiki reached back to undo the hair wrap Kazuki constrained his hair in back with, but Jubei’s hands stopped his. He’d forgotten about Jubei and realized that the man had kept away and changed into a loose pair of pants. It made sense, since he’d come in what he was wearing. And maybe he hadn’t wanted to “watch” Kazuki with Toshiki. Would he allow this now? Did he have any idea of what Toshiki intended?

It would be uncomfortable for Kazuki to lie on his back with the lump of the hair wrap under him.

Jubei’s hands remained still over the wrap, then undid it. Over one-third of Kazuki’s long, dark brown hair spilled free in waves, soft and warm against Toshiki’s fingers, just as he’d imagined.

“What are you two up to?” Kazuki asked softly, but he sounded curious and intrigued, not suspicious, even though they’d deserved his suspicion.

“Lie back for me,” Toshiki answered, amazed by how much lower and throatier his voice sounded.

“I’m watching,” Jubei said, warning, which should have sounded ridiculous but didn’t. Toshiki had seen him fight with his blindness and knew that he had some kind of new perception that left him far from handicapped.

“I know.”

“I won’t be part of any kind of pissing match,” Kazuki said, sounding annoyed, command clear in his voice.

“We’ll be good,” Toshiki replied. “Please lie back.”

Kazuki gave him a look, then did so, stretching out across the bed, the movement making his fly gape and raising his shirt to show some bare skin just above his pants. Toshiki’s mouth watered. His. Jubei bent over Kazuki a bit and let Kazuki take off the visor that covered his now perpetually closed eyes. When they’d first met Jubei hadn’t worn a visor, showing beautiful dark blue eyes. Kazuki probably missed seeing them.

Toshiki ran his tongue along the length of Kazuki’s cock and reveled in the taste and feel of it against his tongue. As he licked and sucked, he smiled at how his efforts made Kazuki whimper and twist, straining, so responsive. Kazuki clenched his hands into fists, as if he meant to stop them from doing something.

“You can pull my hair if you want to,” Toshiki murmured against his cockhead, making him shake.

“I don’t want to.”

“You won’t hurt me. You can touch me.” Toshiki punctuated his plea with another long lick. The urge to say “command me” almost overwhelmed him, but he knew that it would ruin the mood completely for Kazuki, putting an end to this. Instead he took Kazuki’s cock all the way into his mouth and sucked, enjoying the weight and flex of it, occasionally looking up to see his reaction.

Jubei grabbed Kazuki’s left hand and grunted as Kazuki squeezed hard. But Kazuki’s right hand went to Toshiki’s hair and clenched in it, though not enough to hurt. To guide perhaps. Part of Toshiki wished to have both of Kazuki’s hands in his hair pulling and demanding, setting his head where he wanted it and expecting service, but Toshiki would need a different lover for that. Outside of battle conditions, Kazuki rarely commanded. Instead, he inspired you to look at what the situation needed and do things of your own will.

Kazuki didn’t demand, and in his own way that made him the most demanding person Toshiki had ever known. Toshiki had worked for simpler masters since leaving Kazuki, but he had returned here. Kazuki offered him choices, but in truth he had none and wanted none.

Jubei’s free hand was moving under Kazuki’s shirt, and Toshiki wondered if he and Jubei together could reduce Kazuki to a state of such desperate need that he’d be forced to command them just to get relief. Jubei knew Kazuki’s body and seemed to be enticed by the thought of playing with it over an extended session of lovemaking. Excited by the possibility, Toshiki sucked harder and smiled at how he could feel Kazuki struggling not to thrust up hard and fuck his mouth.

Everyone in Mugenjou knew Kazuki of the Strings, some by appearance but all by reputation. Toshiki had been fascinated by the thought of a leader who only selectively used force yet commanded such respect that he could clear a room of bullyboys just through the sound of his bells as he--or she, people weren’t sure, especially those who had actually seen Kazuki--approached. All knew what those bells meant, especially since Kazuki could move without them pealing at all. Eccentricity could be accepted, almost expected, from such a person.

Toshiki never asked about the feminine clothing. Besides, he hadn’t wanted to discourage someone who made such a beautiful girl.

Kazuki now wore clothing that could serve for either gender, although his very long hair, beauty, and slim figure still made people think him female. Toshiki wanted to know why he did what he did, then and now.

“Toshiki,” Kazuki said. His lips were wet and reddened from kissing. He held Jubei’s hand in a white-knuckled grip, although his hold on Toshiki’s hair was gentle.

Looking up all the while, Toshiki shook his head a little, unwilling to stop playing yet, yet in the end it wasn’t his decision. Flexible, Kazuki twisted a little in a way that brought him relief. Rueful, Toshiki sucked until Kazuki finished, licked him clean, then licked his lips.

Eyes nearly closed in half-consciousness, disheveled and debauched, Kazuki sprawled across the bed in a swirl of long hair and partially removed clothing, his stomach and cock exposed. If he’d had breasts, they’d be covered. Toshiki still hadn’t seen him naked. Jubei had removed one of the two remaining hair wraps, the one without the bells, and nuzzled the side of Kazuki’s face. He rearranged Kazuki’s clothing for decency, then pulled him up and arranged him better on the bed, then settled in at his side.

Content with his handiwork, drowsy himself, Toshiki rolled to rest on Kazuki’s other side and stroked his hair. “Why did you grow it so long? It looked cute just below your shoulders.”

“Cute,” Kazuki sleepily murmured. “You answered your own question. I didn’t want to be cute.”

Toshiki felt comfortable here, and it surprised him. Drowsy, he set his hand on Kazuki’s hip, briefly waited for a reprimand that never came, then drifted off to sleep.

Jubei had been in a similar situation many times before. Lying entwined with Kazuki, keeping him warm and safe from harm, had been standard operating procedure for years, although not so much lately. Sensing Uryu Toshiki sleeping at Kazuki’s back and sometimes brushing his hand on Kazuki’s hip and was new and somewhat threatening. Remembering what the three of them had done....

Jubei felt nearly as terrified as he did elated. He’d loved Kazuki for so long, and now he had him in a different and wondrous way that might bind Kazuki closer to him or lead them all to ruin. He’d overstepped himself, even if Kazuki had asked him to. In new territory, he didn’t know what to do.

Toshiki’s return and inclusion added complications to an already complex situation. Kazuki was the star they both revolved around, yet Jubei had been shocked by his heated reaction to having Toshiki lick his fingers. They’d focused on Kazuki, yet in doing so had touched each other through him. It had been strange and weirdly exciting. He’d been aware of Toshiki’s attractive looks all along--it had been near the top of the list of Jubei’s worries over his inclusion in Fuuga--yet he hadn’t really thought about it until now. Jubei loved Kazuki, but he hardly felt repulsed by Toshiki, which seemed disloyal.

“Stop worrying,” Kazuki murmured into his neck.

“We may all regret this,” Jubei answered softly, yet tightened his hold on Kazuki, who felt pliant against him.

“It sounds as if you regret it already.”

Jubei knew that he deserved his blindness as the consequence of his betrayal of Kazuki, but sometimes he would give anything to see Kazuki’s face again because feeling him move couldn’t suffice. This was one of those times. “I’ll never regret you.”

“Good. Anything we do, we run the risk of regretting it later. I don’t regret what we did, even though I hadn’t expected to get this.” He snuggled in. “I liked it. I love you.”

Jubei kissed him. He could now, whenever he wanted. Terrifying. But wonderful.

“I’m sorry. I’m falling asleep again,” Kazuki said softly after a few minutes.

“You should sleep.” Jubei felt protective and possessive. That wasn’t new. The smug feeling was.

Toshiki awoke tangled a little in Kazuki’s hair. Rueful, he unwound it from his arm. He noticed that the light was still on, something Jubei wouldn’t see and that Toshiki and Kazuki had been too fatigued to notice. For Kazuki’s sake, Toshiki turned it off, then went to the cubicle that served Jubei as a crude bathroom to relieve himself and wash up, feeling grungy and bit sticky. As he washed in the sink a bit, he wondered if Kazuki would want him to bring a wet cloth over to him.

“Toshiki,” Jubei said from the doorway.

Toshiki almost jumped, surprised. Jubei had been so silent. Of course, Jubei lived here and knew its dimensions in the darkness. The greeting and name used suggested that Jubei just wanted to say something instead of try to beat Toshiki to a pulp after having thought about what they’d done and decided that Kazuki’s honor had been stained. Toshiki readied himself for either.

“Yes?” Toshiki answered.

Jubei made a small sound of annoyance, seemingly at himself, then asked, “What did Kazuki look like?”

No need to ask when. It struck Toshiki to the heart, yet he didn’t know quite to say. He did his best. “He smiled and closed his eyes as if he wanted to devote all his attention to how good it felt. He blushed once in a while.” He was beautiful. “You felt the rest.”

Jubei nodded, obviously bereft. Touched, Toshiki put his hand on Jubei’s shoulder and gently squeezed.

Pleased as he eavesdropped shamelessly, Kazuki smiled to himself. Although mind-blowing sex and endorphins no doubt helped his mood, that moment between Jubei and Toshiki in the bathroom made him feel much cheerier about his prospects for the future. (Although he intended to redouble his efforts on finding a cure for Jubei.) He wanted them to like each other. They were... his to take care of, and it cheered him considerably to see them caring for each other as well.

Maybe in all this Kazuki could take care of himself at the same time.

  **********************THE END***********************     More Viridian5 stories can be found in The Green Room version 3.0 at http://viridian.shriftweb.org/   No-frames but no-frills access available at http://viridian.shriftweb.org/index2.htm