Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Apogee ❯ Chapter XII ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not owned by me, it is owned by Maki Murakami. I own nothing.

Author's Note: Again, thanks to all of my reviewers everywhere this has been posted. And, to answer one quick question: Yes, the title was intended to be 'Apogee'. I hope the reason will become clearer as time goes on. I am terrible at coming up with titles, but for some reason, this word and it's definition wouldn't stay out of my head when writing the early chapters, so I just had to hope I can live up to the title. Enjoy!




Hiro hit the disconnect button on his cell phone, swearing softly. The day was almost gone, but Shuichi still hadn't shown. Hiro had been calling every half hour since noon, but Shuichi wasn't answering, even though it was nearly five. He was worried. He had seen the stories when he got back from Kyoto on Sunday night, and K had told him that Shuichi had stayed with Seguchi for the weekend. But Seguchi was here today, early this morning, earlier even than K and Sakano. Yet there was no sign of Shuichi, and he still didn't answer his phone. There was always the possibility that it was just turned down, or forgotten at home, but that didn't explain where he was.

He started to pace, back and forth across the studio, watching as Sakano practiced a deep breathing technique to try to calm down, while Fujisaki continued to work on the music for a new song and K calmly watched over everything. Damn it, for all he knew Shuichi was at home, sick or hurt. Or he could have just decided he needed a day off and not told anyone. That would be just like Shuichi, but Hiro had to make sure. Shouting a quick goodbye to the room in general, he headed out, hurrying down to his bike and taking off, weaving and darting through traffic.

When he got to Shuichi's building, he parked the bike and ran to the intercom board. Pressing the button for Shuichi's apartment, he waited for a minute, and then pressed it again, yelling into the intercom for Shuichi when he didn't get an answer. The small voice that came back through the intercom certainly wasn't what he'd been expecting.

"Hiro?"

"Shuichi let me come up, please."

"Are you alone, Hiro?"

He paused for a few seconds, surprised at that question, then answered quickly. "Yes, Shuichi, now let me come up."

He heard the door buzz and opened it quickly, hurrying across the lobby and taking the stairs, too impatient to wait for the elevator. He arrived at Shuichi's apartment out of breath and waited briefly before knocking on the door. The door opened slightly and then stopped, but Hiro pushed it slowly opened and stepped inside. The interior was dark, the only light a small strip coming in between the edges of the curtains. It took a moment before he was able to make out the huddled form on the bed, and he stepped toward it, placing a knee on the edge of the bed and reaching out his hand to touch Shuichi's shoulder.

Shuichi stirred, turning over and facing him, the strip of light falling across his face before he lunged at Hiro, throwing his arms around Hiro's neck and sobbing. Hiro slowly put his arms around Shuichi and let him cry, waiting for him to be ready to explain what had happened. While it didn't take long for Shuichi to start talking, Hiro could only make out a few words. Hiro shifted, getting into a more comfortable spot and felt Shuichi move his arms from his neck and pull them to his chest, but when he tried to set Shuichi back from him, the crying just started all over again, so he stopped.

Hiro thought about what could have happened to put Shuichi in such a state. He had seen his friend depressed before, even seen him hysterically upset, but this was a level of sadness Hiro had never seen before. From what little he been able to understand in between sobs, he gathered that something had happened while he'd been gone that involved both Yuki Eiri and Seguchi Tohma, and Shuichi was blaming himself for whatever it was. He rubbed his hands gently along Shuichi's spine, just trying to offer comfort. He felt Shuichi freeze and turned his head quickly when the door opened and they both heard the voices from the hallway.

Shuichi pulled himself in tighter, his hands clutching at Hiro's shirt, and Hiro glared at the open door, waiting patiently as Seguchi Tohma walked into the apartment, calmly closed the door and turned on the light. Hiro watched as he removed his coat and laid it over the back of a chair, glancing toward the kitchen and then back toward Hiro and Shuichi in alarm. He walked quickly toward the bed and Hiro instinctively pulled Shuichi closer, not sure what Seguchi's intentions were. He watched as Seguchi stopped by the bed, his expression unreadable. Hiro tried to keep his glare, but it faltered when he saw Seguchi's hand was shaking as he rested it on Shuichi's head, and his voice was low and shook slightly.

"Shuichi, what have you done?"

Shuichi shook his head, grabbing tighter still at Hiro's shirt. Hiro began to catch Seguchi's anxiety and moved his hands to Shuichi's, trying to dislodge them from his shirt.

"Shuichi, please," Hiro said, "tell us what's going on."

Shuichi started to shake, but his hands loosened on Hiro's shirt and he raised his head, tears flowing down his cheeks. He glanced at Seguchi and whispered, holding out his arms.

"I'm sorry, Tohma. I just didn't want to hurt you or Yuki anymore."

Hiro looked first in stunned horror down at Shuichi's arms, at the dark brown mess dried on them, then up at Seguchi, speechless. He watched as Seguchi reached out and took Shuichi's hands in his. "Shuichi, I'm going to call a doctor, ok? Don't move."

Shuichi nodded, leaning against Hiro again as Seguchi walked a few feet away and dialed a number on his cell phone. The conversation was short and seemed rather one sided as he gave Shuichi's address and apartment number and stated simply that Shuichi would need stitches. Hiro watched in growing confusion as Seguchi finished the conversation and then filled a small bowl with warm water. He brought the bowl back to the bed and set it on the small table next to the bed, along with a clean towel. Dipping the towel in the water, he began to carefully clean the blood from Shuichi's arms. Hiro was quiet for a moment before he spoke, but he had questions that he wanted answered.

"Seguchi-san, why did you come here?"

Seguchi glanced at Hiro briefly, then at Shuichi before answering as he continued working on Shuichi's arms. "I was concerned that perhaps Shuichi was ill, and I decided to check on him. I assume your concern was similar, yes?"

Hiro merely nodded, deciding that the rest of his questions could wait until a time when Shuichi wasn't awake and leaning against him. He watched Seguchi work in silence, and all three of them started when the intercom buzzer sounded. Seguchi went to let the doctor into the building, and then walked out to meet him at the elevator. When he returned the smile that Hiro knew so well was back in place as he introduced the doctor briefly. Doctor Hashimoto was quick and thorough in his examination, looking not only at Shuichi's arms, but using a light on his eyes and asking him when was the last time he had something to eat or drink, and did he know how much he weighed. Shuichi answered in a small, quiet voice, and flinched only slightly when the needle with the sedative entered his elbow. He was asleep within a few brief minutes and Hiro lay him down on the bed and moved out of the way so that the doctor could work on stitching Shuichi's arms.

Hiro looked at Seguchi, his expression hard and unforgiving and tilted his head toward the kitchen, not waiting for an answer as he walked into the small room. He waited until Seguchi had joined him, then spoke in a low voice so as not to carry out to the doctor.

"What did Shuichi mean, about not wanting to hurt you or Yuki-san any more? What is it he blames himself for that would bring him to this?"

Seguchi sighed, the smile falling from his face. He looked back at Shuichi lying on the bed, at the stains on his shirt and the sheets.

"Yuki-san and I argued this weekend. I can only assume Shuichi believes himself to be the cause of it."

"Was he? He's been confused, lately, trying to decide who he cares for now, you or Yuki-san. If you have done anything to cause this, Seguchi-"

"I never meant to hurt him!"

Hiro leaned back against the counter-top, staring at Seguchi. This was a side of the man he had never seen before, a side he doubted few had ever seen.

"If I could take back what I have done, if I could have the chance to do things differently, I would, if it would save Shuichi any heartache. Since I cannot, I will do what I can to heal the pain I have caused." Seguchi's head dropped, his hair hiding his face from Hiro's view. "Stay with him tonight, please, Nakano-san. He needs someone he can turn to, someone he can trust. If he is willing to talk, tell him I said that I trust you to keep a secret. He will know what I mean."

Hiro watched silently as Seguchi walked back to the other room and waited patiently for the doctor to finish. After leaving a few pills for Shuichi to take and suggesting to Hiro that he make sure his friend didn't have any more 'accidents,' the doctor left, followed by Seguchi. Hiro locked the door behind them, then looked back at Shuichi and went to the closet to make sure he had a clean set of sheets for the bed before starting some soup and fish for dinner. The doctor had said Shuichi should be waking within the hour, and to make sure he ate something before he took the pills.

While Hiro was setting the oven to keep the food warm until Shuichi woke, he caught a glimpse of something on the floor. Looking down, he saw what must have caught Seguchi's eye when he came into the apartment. A small splash of dried blood, then another and another. Hiro looked up at the bed where Shuichi still slept, anger filling him slowly as he thought back on Shuichi's words, '...I just didn't want to hurt you or Yuki anymore.' Hiro closed his eyes for a moment, then took up a towel and wet it, tackling the stains on the floor with an energy fueled by his rage. Shuichi had thought that by hurting himself, he could stop hurting Seguchi and Yuki. Just the thought that this involved little more than an argument between the two men made his anger burn hotter. He wanted to know what had happened to Shuichi, and he would make his own decision about who was responsible.

When the stains were gone from the floor, Hiro walked back out toward the bed to check on Shuichi. He sat carefully on the side of the bed, watching the steady rise and fall of Shuichi's chest and frowning. He was Shuichi's best friend and had been for years, but he hadn't called him even once to tell him what was going on or just to talk. He'd loved every minute he'd been able to spend near Ayaka, but he'd missed Shuichi. He watched him sleep for another moment, his mind turning over ways to help Shuichi figure out what he wanted before Yuki and Seguchi tore him apart.

After a few minutes, he saw signs that Shuichi was beginning to come around and reached out a hand to shake his shoulder gently. Once Shuichi was sufficiently awake, he helped him out of the bed and over to the table, then fixed him a plate of food and made him eat until at least half of it was gone, insisting that Shuichi needed food to keep going. Hiro only smiled when Shuichi gave him a clearly skeptical look.

"Shuichi, I'll change the bed sheets while you go take a bath. Be careful not to get the bandages wet."

He saw Shuichi's nod and waited until he was in the bathroom and he could hear the water running to change the sheets on the bed and put the leftovers from dinner in the refrigerator for lunch the next day. When he heard the bathroom door open, he was waiting calmly, sitting on the edge of the bed and flipping between television stations until he found the one that carried one of their favorite anime series. When Shuichi walked over, dressed for bed and holding his arms a bit stiffly, Hiro moved over to make room for him and they settle into a familiar routine. The only place to watch television in Hiro's room during high school had been lying on the bed or on the floor. The two had often shared the small bed by cuddling close to each other during marathon sessions of popcorn and anime. The familiar closeness came into play now as Hiro lay back against the headboard and Shuichi settled down with his head on Hiro's chest.

When the show was over, Shuichi was smiling and Hiro didn't want to have to break the good mood, but he needed to know.

"Shuichi?"

"Yeah, Hiro?"

"Will you tell me? About what happened this weekend? About what you were thinking, why- why would you do this, Shuichi?"

Shuichi was quiet for a minute, and Hiro felt a small wetness on his shirt where Shuichi lay against his chest.

"Hiro, I can't explain it right, parts of it..."

Hiro waited for a brief moment, then put two and two together and sighed. "They aren't yours to tell." Shuichi nodded in response.

"Shuichi, before he left, Seguchi said to tell you he thinks I can keep a secret. He said you'd know what that meant."

Shuichi sat up, staring at Hiro, obviously looking for any sign that Hiro was lying just to get him to talk. Apparently finding nothing, he slowly began to speak, and Hiro listened.

"Hiro, remember, I told you I kissed Tohma? You were mad at me for kissing him because he's married... Hiro, remember he called me to his office that day, after the photo shoot? He wanted to ask me about the photos, about, well, everything, I guess. He- he showed me I wasn't alone, I saw scars on his wrists, Hiro. He and Mika-san were separated, and he tried... She found another lover, Hiro, and this weekend she asked Tohma to sign divorce papers.

"I was just trying to comfort him, Hiro. I didn't mean anything by it, but we- we had sex, and then Yuki showed up, and he knew. I was so scared, Hiro, I thought he was going to hit Tohma, I just didn't want to come in the middle, they have a really close friendship. I asked Yuki to bring me home, and when I came back from getting my stuff... Hiro, Tohma was so angry, I could tell, it was just like Yuki when he gets really angry, not when he shouts at me, but when he just stares. It was just like the night I left Yuki, Hiro.

"Then when Yuki brought me home, he made dinner and afterward we laid down and watched TV, and then we - you know. I woke up yesterday morning, and Yuki was gone and I just - I couldn't take it, Hiro, it was all my fault. If I'd never slept with Tohma, he wouldn't hate me, if I hadn't kissed him, he never would have slept with me. If I'd never left Yuki, none of this would have happened! It's all my fault, Hiro. I just thought, if I was gone, I wouldn't come between them anymore, and no one would be hurt by me anymore. I'm such an idiot."

Hiro didn't say anything for a minute, his mind turning furiously in several directions. First, he had to get Shuichi to realize none of this was his fault, that Yuki and Seguchi were to blame for using him as their pawn in some sort of sick competition. Tomorrow would be soon enough to give Seguchi and Yuki a piece of his mind. Sighing slightly and realizing he was about to find out more detail than he really wanted to know, he plunged in.

"Shuichi, tell me something. When you kissed Seguchi, did you kiss him first, or did he kiss you?"

"He kissed me, but I kissed back."

"Hmm, and when you had sex, who started that?"

"Me. I had him lay down and I hugged him when he cried over Mika-san."

"But after that?"

"I started to get up because I thought he was sleeping... he pulled me back and kissed me, and then..."

"Mm-hmm... and with Yuki? You laid down to watch TV, and then what?"

"He turned me over and kissed me..."

"Ahh. Are you seeing a pattern here, Shuichi? Seguchi kissed you first, he pulled you back when you started to get up and kissed you, and Yuki was the one who decided to go from watching TV to kissing, right?"

Shuichi nodded, his eyes wide.

"So, it's not your fault. Shuichi, Yuki and Seguchi are both grown men, older than you and more experienced. They took advantage of your loving nature to get what they needed, what they wanted from you. Shuichi, if you ever do anything like this over one of them again, I will wait till the doctor says you'll live, then I'll kill you myself, idiot."

Shuichi threw himself at Hiro, and Hiro felt tears on his neck as he squeezed his best friend tight. He wouldn't let either of those men hurt Shuichi anymore. Shuichi had been Hiro's best friend since high school, and somewhere over the years, Hiro was forced to admit that he'd started to think of Shuichi as somewhat of a little brother that needed his protection. Tomorrow, he would speak to K, and once plans were set in motion, then he would talk to Seguchi and Yuki, once there was no way for either of them to change what Hiro planed to do.

When Shuichi had cried himself out, Hiro insisted he lay down and sleep, bringing him water and one of the pain pills the doctor had left, waiting until Shuichi was asleep before pulling out some extra blankets from the closet and an extra pillow and making himself a place to sleep on the floor.