Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Apogee ❯ Chapter XI ( Chapter 11 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not owned by me, it is owned by Maki Murakami. I own nothing.

Author's Note: Again, thanks to all of my reviewers everywhere this has been posted. I hope you all continue to enjoy this, wherever it may go. Some of you have jumped to some conclusions after part 10... to this I will only say: never assume. Enjoy!

PLEASE NOTE: This section contains a yaoi lemon/lime. If you are disturbed by graphic portrayals of homosexual intercourse, you may want to skip this section and wait for the next update. If not, read on!



Shuichi walked into his apartment and sighed, walking into the small kitchen to put down the bag of groceries before walking back out and setting his backpack down on the glass-topped dining table. He glanced over at Yuki and shrugged.

"I know it's not much, but I like it."

Yuki didn't comment, only shrugged out of his coat and hung it over the back of a chair and walked past Shuichi to the kitchen, looking in all of the cabinets and drawers, taking stock of what was in the refrigerator and giving Shuichi a look that said 'this is all you have?' He didn't wait for Shuichi to answer, just handed him the can of coffee grounds and then turned and started preparing dinner.

Shuichi sighed again. Except for commenting that he was still too thin and insisting on making him dinner, Yuki hadn't said much since they had left Tohma's. He had been silent at the store, ignoring Shuichi's suggestions for the meal, even going so far as to remove the box of pocky Shuichi had placed in the basket, only commenting that Shuichi needed real food. Shuichi had picked the box of pocky up and stubbornly paid for it himself, giving Yuki a dirty look as he tried to glare him into giving it up. Though, in spite of the irritation he'd felt over the pocky incident, Shuichi had been glad for Yuki's presence when they arrived at his building. Seeing the satellite truck still parked out front and the small crowd of reporters around the front door made Shuichi glad he didn't have to face this alone. Yuki had drawn all their attention with a brief statement that their relationship was no one's business but their own while Shuichi used his security card to open the door and the two entered the building. Though Yuki had glared at him for it, Shuichi had hit every button in the elevator to confuse the reporters.

He started the coffee to brew, using water from the sink in the bathroom since he didn't want to disturb Yuki, then went and sat on the bed and turned on the television, flipping through the channels until he found something that wasn't talking about him and Yuki. He pulled the pillow over and lay down on his side to watch the variety show he had ended up with, his mind turning over how he had managed to go from Tohma's bed to having Yuki cooking him dinner in less than two hours. When he'd seen Yuki at Tohma's he'd known there would be no denying what had happened. Yuki had known the second he had seen Shuichi, and it had been obvious from the expression on his face and the twitch by his right eye that he had been seriously considering hitting Tohma. Shuichi had thrown himself at Yuki, crying and taking all the blame, just praying he hadn't messed up Yuki's friendship with Tohma. He knew the two meant a lot to each other, even though Yuki complained about Tohma on a regular basis.

Shuichi closed his eyes, trying to hold back tears. He had never wanted to hurt anyone, not really. He had briefly wanted Yuki to hurt when he had left, wanted him to feel some of what Shuichi had felt when he was being ignored unless he was being insulted or thrown out of bed, or out of the house. Deep in his heart, though, he had only wanted to be happy. He had been hoping Yuki would come to him with words of apology, or even just ask him to come home without calling him an idiot, or making snide comments about his lack of talent. Yuki couldn't really be surprised that Shuichi had turned to someone who treated him with care and kindness, someone who apologized for hurting his feelings and seemed to enjoy the lyrics Shuichi wrote and sang. Tohma understood music, he understood what it was to put all of yourself in every performance, to feel the audience respond to your mood and feel the incomparable high that came from having your work appreciated.

He turned over, away from the television and buried his face in the pillow, wishing he could turn back time and take everything back, take back everything he had done in the last few months that had hurt Yuki. He wished he could take back what he had done with Tohma. He had seen that cold, blank look, so similar to Yuki when he was truly, deeply angry and hurt and didn't want anyone to know. He had put that look there, by what he had done. He had wanted to explain, but he knew that look, knew what it would get him. He didn't think he could bear to hear the same words come from Tohma that he had heard so often from Yuki. So when he was told to go, he had gone. He wished that he could speak to Tohma and explain, he had asked Yuki to take him home so he could separate them before he came between them any more than he already had. All he'd wanted was to comfort Tohma, to take away a little of the pain, but he had only added to it for both of them.

His shoulders shook as the tears finally came. Yuki was still cooking him dinner, but the smell of it made his stomach turn. Yuki was right, he was an idiot. He had only thought of himself, caught in the moment, not thinking of what his actions might do to Yuki, or to Tohma. A hand on his shoulder made him start and he looked up quickly, eyes red-rimmed and tears still falling. Yuki looked at him for a moment then calmly told him dinner was ready. He nodded, idly thinking of just not eating anything, since his stomach was still upset, but in the end standing and wiping his face on the back of his hand as he walked to the table and sat down across from Yuki. He tried to eat, but picked at the food instead, only eating when Yuki made a comment about him not eating.

Shuichi could feel Yuki's gaze on him as he pushed the noodles around on the plate. He couldn't help it, he just had no appetite left. When Yuki stood and picked up Shuichi's plate he looked up, catching a glimpse of a familiar expression on Yuki's face. He sat quietly, his mind for once not running endlessly over his faults and his mistakes, while Yuki cleaned up. When Yuki walked back into the main room of the apartment and told Shuichi to come with him, he followed without thinking. He hesitated when Yuki lay down on the bed and picked up the remote. He admitted there was really no other good place to watch the television, since the chairs in front of it were just too close, and the apartment was small, but he wasn't sure just what Yuki wanted from him.

"I won't bite, idiot, now come lay down."

Shuichi hid his flinch by leaning forward and crawling onto the bed, laying his head down on Yuki's shoulder when prompted and watching the television without paying attention to what was on. When Yuki turned to him, rolling him to his back and kissing him softly, he kissed back, trying to ignore the new wave of guilt that washed over him, lingering in the back of his mind and deep in his heart. He didn't protest when Yuki removed their clothes or when he took out the tube of lubricant kept in the side table drawer next to the bed. When the first slickened finger entered him slowly, followed by another, gently stretching him and preparing him, he couldn't help the small mewls that came from him, though he bit his lip to keep in the louder noises he was prone to.

Yuki entered him slowly and carefully, his mouth on Shuichi's neck helping to distract him from any lingering discomfort. When he moved, Shuichi felt a hand wrap around his aching cock and stroke him gently at first, then with increasing firmness as the strength and speed of Yuki's strokes increased. Shuichi saw a burst of white behind his eyes as he came, unable to hold back a shout, unaware of the tears coursing down his cheeks. He felt the bed give as Yuki collapsed beside him and he burrowed into Yuki's chest, grateful that Yuki didn't ask him any questions as he cried himself to sleep.

Shuichi was deeply asleep when Yuki rose and dressed. He didn't stir when Yuki shifted him and pulled the covers down, settled him between cool sheets and kissed his forehead. He woke briefly when Yuki closed the door and then rattled the handle softly to be sure it was locked, but drifted back to sleep before any real awareness could form.