Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Apogee ❯ Chapter XXIV ( Chapter 24 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Saanrio 
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.21.2008 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 271 | Status: Work In Progress
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Romance / Angst | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 06.21.2008 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 271 | Status: Work In Progress
Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation, it is owned by Maki Murakami. I own nothing.
Author's Note: I'm kinda blah about this part, but it was a necessary transition for the rest of the story. Hope you enjoy, as I think I got a couple of good seconds out of it, but if not... eh, I won't be shocked.
Also, yes, I know there hasn't been any 'action' for a while... This story will again live up to its rating, but I must have plot to go behind it... I'm still working on writing pure smut just for the heck of it.
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Shuichi sat nervously in the front seat of Yuki's car as the author drove through the morning traffic. It had been two weeks since Ryuichi's visit, and what little talking Shuichi had done had been to insist on going in to the studio today and working on the songs he'd been writing with Hiro and Suguru. His silence had become a sore spot between him and Yuki. He'd slowly begun to eat, so the IV nutrients had been reduced, though the doctor still insisted he get them once a day, and she had only reluctantly cleared him to go back to work, with the provision that he be forced to take breaks at regular intervals and he eat. Shuichi had been told in no uncertain terms by Yuki and K that if he refused to eat lunch or the snack the doctor was insisting on that he'd be sent home and the group would be on a six-month hiatus until he got his weight back and his head on straight. Shuichi's only response had been his eyes getting as wide as saucers and welling with tears while he nodded frantically.
There had been some paparazzi outside Yuki's apartment when they left, something Yuki casually reported had been the case since the night he'd brought Shuichi home with him. The visit from the doctor, the nurses that came to care for him and the counselor Yuki brought over three times a week had all been documented in the tabloids for his fans to read about, even though all they ever said was "No comment." With Tohma very generously paying the bills for Shuichi's illness, they were all under non-disclosure agreements, and Shuichi's nurse had said that Seguchi-san had been quite frank about what exactly the consequences of breaking that agreement were. Shuichi had only hugged the small woman in response. Of all his 'caretakers' only Yuki meant more to him, now, but he still wasn't sure about where he stood with him. Onami-san, though, he understood. The older woman was just a little younger than Shuichi's mother, and she treated him as though he were her own son, praising him for starting to write songs again, finding out his favorite sweets and bringing him small boxes of pocky to try to tempt him to eat his meals. She was open, honest and fiercely caring, and had insisted that Shuichi call her 'Nami-chan.'
Shuichi shuddered slightly as Yuki pulled into the underground parking at the back of the NG building. The change from hot sun to cool shade dropped the temperature around him a good ten degrees at least and caused goose pimples to rise on his arms. He slid his arms into the light jacket Nami-chan had pushed into his hands and thought that he'd have to find a way to thank her when he got home that evening. He stepped out of the car once Yuki parked, not surprised when Yuki slid out of his seat and stood waiting for Shuichi at the back of the car. He reached back into the car and grabbed his notebooks, pushing a pen into the pocket of his jeans, then closed the door and walked quietly toward Yuki, his steps still a little slower than they had once been. Though he'd been cleared for work, he could understand why his doctor had wanted him to wait until he had gained more of his weight back. His strength didn't stay for very long at times, especially when he was nervous, which was just about all he was that morning. He wasn't sure how everyone would react to him, or how he would react to them. He knew Hiro - and Suguru to a lesser extent - had been worried about him for quite a while, and he understood why, but the experiences of the last year had changed him, and he doubted he would ever be quite the carefree boy he had been before. He had learned the hard way that he couldn't give his heart so freely, that he couldn't trust just anyone. Nami-chan had slipped under his radar, being there and caring for him before Ryuichi snapped some sense into him with a well-placed bunny. But he'd been thinking a lot the last two weeks, and his thoughts had brought some determination to him that he wouldn't have had before.
His counselor had become frustrated with him, since he refused to discuss some things, and those he would discuss he would only say a little about. He didn't trust her. He knew she was only trying her best, but she didn't know the people around him the way he did. She didn't know Tohma, she didn't know the depths he was capable of, and she could never understand that Shuichi still loved him. Shuichi glanced over at Yuki as they waited for the elevator to reach the garage. He loved Yuki, too, fiercely and deeply, but not the same way he once had. While he would be capable of a relationship with Yuki again, Shuichi knew it wouldn't be fair to him. Though he loved him, and he still thought Yuki was one of the most attractive men alive, he couldn't love him with the same all-consuming devotion he once had. Yuki deserved that depth of love and devotion, he deserved someone who would make him their entire world, just as Shuichi once had. Maybe if given a second chance, Yuki wouldn't repeat the mistake he'd made with Shuichi. Maybe if Shuichi kept an eye on things, he'd make sure Yuki didn't make that mistake again, for Yuki's sake.
The small ding of the elevator arriving cut into his thoughts and he glanced up at Yuki once they were in the elevator and on their way up. The fluorescent lighting didn't do much for anyone, and it only made the circles under Yuki's eyes more prominent. Yuki had been staying up late at night trying to finish a novel he'd put aside when Shuichi had gotten sick. Shuichi had overheard him on the phone with his editor, had heard how the publishing house was willing to give him an extension because the fans would understand, given all the press coverage of Shuichi's situation, but they couldn't give him more than ten days at most. So Yuki had been pushing himself as he always did before a deadline, living on caffeine, nicotine and the strawberry deserts Tohma sent over from Yuki's favorite bakery. Just the night before, Yuki had refused dinner, saying that he had too much to do and picked up instead a slice of Strawberry cheesecake, apparently intending to eat it for his dinner when he got around to it. Shuichi had calmly and silently walked ahead of Yuki and locked his office door. When Yuki had started to yell and go for his keys Nami-chan had grabbed them off the counter and tossed them over Yuki's head to Shuichi, who had clutched them tightly in both hands and silently refused to give them up. Yuki hadn't been the most pleasant dinner companion, wolfing down the food as fast as possible while glaring at both Shuichi and Nami-chan, but he had eaten everything he'd been given. He had then stormed off with his coffee, his cigarettes and his cheesecake and locked himself in his office with a loud slam of the door. Nami-chan had made several comments on Yuki's lack of manners and self-destructive behavior, but Shuichi had only smiled softly and calmly settled himself on the couch, his pen busy over the second notebook that week.
The elevator doors opened and the small smile on Shuichi's face faded. Now was when things would start to become interesting. He had a lot of apologizing to do to his band mates for worrying them, and for being a real prick during their last tour. He knew at the time they were only trying to help, but he hadn't wanted their help. He had been stubbornly refusing anyone's help, convinced that they would all be better off if he just faded from existence. So that was what he'd been trying to do, even if he hadn't wanted to acknowledge it. Cutting his wrists, jumping from a building or just stepping out into traffic would have been quicker, but they hadn't crossed his mind. His therapist said it was because only part of him wanted to die. Part of his mind had been resisting the idea, so he hadn't tried anything more direct. She had said he was 'silently screaming for help' and had then promptly tried to turn the conversation to either his gang rape organized by Taki Aizawa or the reasons he slept with Tohma. Both were, in Shuichi's mind at least, closed issues. He knew why Aizawa had done what he did and he'd moved on, and he knew why he'd slept with Tohma. Even if Tohma's reasons hadn't been anywhere near his, it didn't change things. There was no point in dwelling on that anymore. The simple facts were that his romantic/sexual relationship with Yuki was over, Tohma had only used him for sex, and he needed to get out of his funk if Bad Luck was going to have a chance at beating Nittle Grasper ever again.
He walked slowly down the hall to the recording studio Bad Luck used, clutching his notebooks to his chest, already feeling his energy sagging. The fingers of his right hand touched the place where his IV was connected in the evening and he glanced over at Yuki, noting the backpack slung over his shoulder. He might just need to ask Yuki to hook that up for him. He could tell his body was starting to run on overdrive thanks to his nerves, but he doubted his stomach was in any condition to keep anything down. He stumbled just outside the studio, lurching suddenly toward the wall, and Yuki grabbed his arm lightly to steady him, his only comment a soft "hmmph" sound. Shuichi looked briefly up at him, just long enough to register the expression of minor annoyance on Yuki's face before dropping his gaze in embarrassment. He tightened his grip on his notebooks and let Yuki help him the last few steps to the studio and into a seat on the couch inside, aware that everyone stopped what they were doing and stared as they came in.
Hiro sat down next to him while Yuki went about turning on the portable IV machine concealed in the backpack and connecting the nutrient solution. Shuichi turned from Yuki, looking nervously at Hiro. He felt a surge of guilt as he looked at his best friend. He had been so involved in his own despair, he had shut his best friend out of his life almost completely. Hiro's worry as he watched Yuki deftly connect the IV tube to the connector in Shuichi's arm was obvious and Shuichi desperately wanted to say something to ease Hiro's fears, but found himself at a loss for words. Instead he bit his lip and just looked around the room at Suguru, K and Sakano all gathered around, not bothering to hide their expressions of worry and skepticism.
"Shindou-kun, are you sure you should be here? Surely Yuki-san cannot be here to do that for you all the time, and if you still need it..." Sakano's nervous wringing of his hands was a common occurrence, but for once Shuichi couldn't feel good about just waving off the producer's fears. Yuki took care of things, though, as he had been for the past few weeks, stepping in when Shuichi was unable to make a decision or speak for himself. Though they were no longer dating, Yuki still seemed to know Shuichi's mind almost better than he did, himself.
"I'll teach Nakano how to operate the machine and change out the bags. His doctor says as long as he eats lunch and has regular snacks, he should be fine. Just make sure he doesn't overdo anything."
The room was quiet for a moment, and Shuichi started to fidget nervously. His teeth began to worry his bottom lip and his hands clutched at the notebooks on his lap. He dropped his head, feeling like everyone was staring at him, sizing him up, deciding if they would let him stay, if they wanted him here. He felt the couch dip beside him and started as Hiro pulled him into an embrace, muttering in his ear what he would personally do to Shuichi if he ever got to this point again. Shuichi stiffened in surprise at first, then relaxed against Hiro, taking comfort that Hiro wasn't too angry with him. He continued to lean against Hiro as Yuki showed him how the IV pump worked and how to change the bag, and told him when to do it. Once Yuki had left, after reminding Shuichi that he would pick him up at six, Hiro finally asked what was in the notebooks.
He smiled, starting to feel more secure as Suguru and Hiro looked over the lyrics he had written. He could see the wheels turning in Suguru's head already as he drifted over to his keyboard and started to hit a note here or there, apparently at random unless one knew Suguru's creation methods. Shuichi hummed a bit, remembering the melody he had hastily sketched in above the lyrics on that page. He wanted it to be something fast and pounding, something to reflect the excitement he felt at his return to music.
It was during lunch that Hiro came to sit next to Shuichi, his bang hanging in his eyes and his hands clutching his Coke can like a lifeline. Shuichi smiled softly. He'd known this conversation was coming, had thought he might be able to initiate it, but this way was fine, too.
"Shuichi," Hiro said. "I know you were angry with me. You had every reason to be, I didn't ask you what you thought, and I got involved in something that maybe wasn't any of my business. I just don't want to be shut out of your life anymore. You're my best friend. Always have been, and I'd like to think you always will be."
Shuichi would have jumped on Hiro to hug him, but not having the energy, he just allowed himself to slump against him instead, bringing his right arm around Hiro's shoulders. "Hiro, I'm sorry. I want my best friend back. You were just trying to look out for me, and I overreacted."
Hiro's only answer was resting his head on Shuichi's shoulder for a moment before getting up to check on the IV after handing Shuichi a package of pocky from his bag. Shuichi laughed, opening the pocky and munching on a stick while he flipped through his notebooks for a specific song he wanted Hiro to look at.
Author's Note: I'm kinda blah about this part, but it was a necessary transition for the rest of the story. Hope you enjoy, as I think I got a couple of good seconds out of it, but if not... eh, I won't be shocked.
Also, yes, I know there hasn't been any 'action' for a while... This story will again live up to its rating, but I must have plot to go behind it... I'm still working on writing pure smut just for the heck of it.
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Shuichi sat nervously in the front seat of Yuki's car as the author drove through the morning traffic. It had been two weeks since Ryuichi's visit, and what little talking Shuichi had done had been to insist on going in to the studio today and working on the songs he'd been writing with Hiro and Suguru. His silence had become a sore spot between him and Yuki. He'd slowly begun to eat, so the IV nutrients had been reduced, though the doctor still insisted he get them once a day, and she had only reluctantly cleared him to go back to work, with the provision that he be forced to take breaks at regular intervals and he eat. Shuichi had been told in no uncertain terms by Yuki and K that if he refused to eat lunch or the snack the doctor was insisting on that he'd be sent home and the group would be on a six-month hiatus until he got his weight back and his head on straight. Shuichi's only response had been his eyes getting as wide as saucers and welling with tears while he nodded frantically.
There had been some paparazzi outside Yuki's apartment when they left, something Yuki casually reported had been the case since the night he'd brought Shuichi home with him. The visit from the doctor, the nurses that came to care for him and the counselor Yuki brought over three times a week had all been documented in the tabloids for his fans to read about, even though all they ever said was "No comment." With Tohma very generously paying the bills for Shuichi's illness, they were all under non-disclosure agreements, and Shuichi's nurse had said that Seguchi-san had been quite frank about what exactly the consequences of breaking that agreement were. Shuichi had only hugged the small woman in response. Of all his 'caretakers' only Yuki meant more to him, now, but he still wasn't sure about where he stood with him. Onami-san, though, he understood. The older woman was just a little younger than Shuichi's mother, and she treated him as though he were her own son, praising him for starting to write songs again, finding out his favorite sweets and bringing him small boxes of pocky to try to tempt him to eat his meals. She was open, honest and fiercely caring, and had insisted that Shuichi call her 'Nami-chan.'
Shuichi shuddered slightly as Yuki pulled into the underground parking at the back of the NG building. The change from hot sun to cool shade dropped the temperature around him a good ten degrees at least and caused goose pimples to rise on his arms. He slid his arms into the light jacket Nami-chan had pushed into his hands and thought that he'd have to find a way to thank her when he got home that evening. He stepped out of the car once Yuki parked, not surprised when Yuki slid out of his seat and stood waiting for Shuichi at the back of the car. He reached back into the car and grabbed his notebooks, pushing a pen into the pocket of his jeans, then closed the door and walked quietly toward Yuki, his steps still a little slower than they had once been. Though he'd been cleared for work, he could understand why his doctor had wanted him to wait until he had gained more of his weight back. His strength didn't stay for very long at times, especially when he was nervous, which was just about all he was that morning. He wasn't sure how everyone would react to him, or how he would react to them. He knew Hiro - and Suguru to a lesser extent - had been worried about him for quite a while, and he understood why, but the experiences of the last year had changed him, and he doubted he would ever be quite the carefree boy he had been before. He had learned the hard way that he couldn't give his heart so freely, that he couldn't trust just anyone. Nami-chan had slipped under his radar, being there and caring for him before Ryuichi snapped some sense into him with a well-placed bunny. But he'd been thinking a lot the last two weeks, and his thoughts had brought some determination to him that he wouldn't have had before.
His counselor had become frustrated with him, since he refused to discuss some things, and those he would discuss he would only say a little about. He didn't trust her. He knew she was only trying her best, but she didn't know the people around him the way he did. She didn't know Tohma, she didn't know the depths he was capable of, and she could never understand that Shuichi still loved him. Shuichi glanced over at Yuki as they waited for the elevator to reach the garage. He loved Yuki, too, fiercely and deeply, but not the same way he once had. While he would be capable of a relationship with Yuki again, Shuichi knew it wouldn't be fair to him. Though he loved him, and he still thought Yuki was one of the most attractive men alive, he couldn't love him with the same all-consuming devotion he once had. Yuki deserved that depth of love and devotion, he deserved someone who would make him their entire world, just as Shuichi once had. Maybe if given a second chance, Yuki wouldn't repeat the mistake he'd made with Shuichi. Maybe if Shuichi kept an eye on things, he'd make sure Yuki didn't make that mistake again, for Yuki's sake.
The small ding of the elevator arriving cut into his thoughts and he glanced up at Yuki once they were in the elevator and on their way up. The fluorescent lighting didn't do much for anyone, and it only made the circles under Yuki's eyes more prominent. Yuki had been staying up late at night trying to finish a novel he'd put aside when Shuichi had gotten sick. Shuichi had overheard him on the phone with his editor, had heard how the publishing house was willing to give him an extension because the fans would understand, given all the press coverage of Shuichi's situation, but they couldn't give him more than ten days at most. So Yuki had been pushing himself as he always did before a deadline, living on caffeine, nicotine and the strawberry deserts Tohma sent over from Yuki's favorite bakery. Just the night before, Yuki had refused dinner, saying that he had too much to do and picked up instead a slice of Strawberry cheesecake, apparently intending to eat it for his dinner when he got around to it. Shuichi had calmly and silently walked ahead of Yuki and locked his office door. When Yuki had started to yell and go for his keys Nami-chan had grabbed them off the counter and tossed them over Yuki's head to Shuichi, who had clutched them tightly in both hands and silently refused to give them up. Yuki hadn't been the most pleasant dinner companion, wolfing down the food as fast as possible while glaring at both Shuichi and Nami-chan, but he had eaten everything he'd been given. He had then stormed off with his coffee, his cigarettes and his cheesecake and locked himself in his office with a loud slam of the door. Nami-chan had made several comments on Yuki's lack of manners and self-destructive behavior, but Shuichi had only smiled softly and calmly settled himself on the couch, his pen busy over the second notebook that week.
The elevator doors opened and the small smile on Shuichi's face faded. Now was when things would start to become interesting. He had a lot of apologizing to do to his band mates for worrying them, and for being a real prick during their last tour. He knew at the time they were only trying to help, but he hadn't wanted their help. He had been stubbornly refusing anyone's help, convinced that they would all be better off if he just faded from existence. So that was what he'd been trying to do, even if he hadn't wanted to acknowledge it. Cutting his wrists, jumping from a building or just stepping out into traffic would have been quicker, but they hadn't crossed his mind. His therapist said it was because only part of him wanted to die. Part of his mind had been resisting the idea, so he hadn't tried anything more direct. She had said he was 'silently screaming for help' and had then promptly tried to turn the conversation to either his gang rape organized by Taki Aizawa or the reasons he slept with Tohma. Both were, in Shuichi's mind at least, closed issues. He knew why Aizawa had done what he did and he'd moved on, and he knew why he'd slept with Tohma. Even if Tohma's reasons hadn't been anywhere near his, it didn't change things. There was no point in dwelling on that anymore. The simple facts were that his romantic/sexual relationship with Yuki was over, Tohma had only used him for sex, and he needed to get out of his funk if Bad Luck was going to have a chance at beating Nittle Grasper ever again.
He walked slowly down the hall to the recording studio Bad Luck used, clutching his notebooks to his chest, already feeling his energy sagging. The fingers of his right hand touched the place where his IV was connected in the evening and he glanced over at Yuki, noting the backpack slung over his shoulder. He might just need to ask Yuki to hook that up for him. He could tell his body was starting to run on overdrive thanks to his nerves, but he doubted his stomach was in any condition to keep anything down. He stumbled just outside the studio, lurching suddenly toward the wall, and Yuki grabbed his arm lightly to steady him, his only comment a soft "hmmph" sound. Shuichi looked briefly up at him, just long enough to register the expression of minor annoyance on Yuki's face before dropping his gaze in embarrassment. He tightened his grip on his notebooks and let Yuki help him the last few steps to the studio and into a seat on the couch inside, aware that everyone stopped what they were doing and stared as they came in.
Hiro sat down next to him while Yuki went about turning on the portable IV machine concealed in the backpack and connecting the nutrient solution. Shuichi turned from Yuki, looking nervously at Hiro. He felt a surge of guilt as he looked at his best friend. He had been so involved in his own despair, he had shut his best friend out of his life almost completely. Hiro's worry as he watched Yuki deftly connect the IV tube to the connector in Shuichi's arm was obvious and Shuichi desperately wanted to say something to ease Hiro's fears, but found himself at a loss for words. Instead he bit his lip and just looked around the room at Suguru, K and Sakano all gathered around, not bothering to hide their expressions of worry and skepticism.
"Shindou-kun, are you sure you should be here? Surely Yuki-san cannot be here to do that for you all the time, and if you still need it..." Sakano's nervous wringing of his hands was a common occurrence, but for once Shuichi couldn't feel good about just waving off the producer's fears. Yuki took care of things, though, as he had been for the past few weeks, stepping in when Shuichi was unable to make a decision or speak for himself. Though they were no longer dating, Yuki still seemed to know Shuichi's mind almost better than he did, himself.
"I'll teach Nakano how to operate the machine and change out the bags. His doctor says as long as he eats lunch and has regular snacks, he should be fine. Just make sure he doesn't overdo anything."
The room was quiet for a moment, and Shuichi started to fidget nervously. His teeth began to worry his bottom lip and his hands clutched at the notebooks on his lap. He dropped his head, feeling like everyone was staring at him, sizing him up, deciding if they would let him stay, if they wanted him here. He felt the couch dip beside him and started as Hiro pulled him into an embrace, muttering in his ear what he would personally do to Shuichi if he ever got to this point again. Shuichi stiffened in surprise at first, then relaxed against Hiro, taking comfort that Hiro wasn't too angry with him. He continued to lean against Hiro as Yuki showed him how the IV pump worked and how to change the bag, and told him when to do it. Once Yuki had left, after reminding Shuichi that he would pick him up at six, Hiro finally asked what was in the notebooks.
He smiled, starting to feel more secure as Suguru and Hiro looked over the lyrics he had written. He could see the wheels turning in Suguru's head already as he drifted over to his keyboard and started to hit a note here or there, apparently at random unless one knew Suguru's creation methods. Shuichi hummed a bit, remembering the melody he had hastily sketched in above the lyrics on that page. He wanted it to be something fast and pounding, something to reflect the excitement he felt at his return to music.
It was during lunch that Hiro came to sit next to Shuichi, his bang hanging in his eyes and his hands clutching his Coke can like a lifeline. Shuichi smiled softly. He'd known this conversation was coming, had thought he might be able to initiate it, but this way was fine, too.
"Shuichi," Hiro said. "I know you were angry with me. You had every reason to be, I didn't ask you what you thought, and I got involved in something that maybe wasn't any of my business. I just don't want to be shut out of your life anymore. You're my best friend. Always have been, and I'd like to think you always will be."
Shuichi would have jumped on Hiro to hug him, but not having the energy, he just allowed himself to slump against him instead, bringing his right arm around Hiro's shoulders. "Hiro, I'm sorry. I want my best friend back. You were just trying to look out for me, and I overreacted."
Hiro's only answer was resting his head on Shuichi's shoulder for a moment before getting up to check on the IV after handing Shuichi a package of pocky from his bag. Shuichi laughed, opening the pocky and munching on a stick while he flipped through his notebooks for a specific song he wanted Hiro to look at.