Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Apogee ❯ Chapter XXX ( Chapter 30 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Gravitation is not owned by me, it is owned by Maki Murakami. I own nothing.

Tohma sighed as his office door closed after Ryuichi. The day had begun simply enough, with the normal business appointments -- contract negotiations, companies proposing endorsement deals for this or that person under contract with NG, and the quarterly reports from his office heads from New York and Los Angeles being given in person, since they had both been in town because of the awards the day before. Lunch had passed in a relaxed manner, chatting with Noriko about various things from the new fashions in Harajuku that she wanted to try to incorporate into their look for the new single to how excitable Ryuichi had been lately, beyond his normal enthusiasm. Ryuichi had been working nearly as hard as Shuichi on lyrics as of late, and he was bursting with energy and insisting on recording as many songs as possible, even if most would never be used. It was one of the hazards of working with Ryuichi, but one he was willing to accept, since the outcome was so often fulfilling both spiritually and monetarily. The afternoon had been passed in the studio where Ryuichi's tendency toward maniacal dictatorship meshed well with Tohma's sense of perfectionism and Noriko's insistence that everything they did be yet another bar set for other artists to have to struggle just to meet, much less exceed. The outcome had been fruitful, as their new track had been more than 80% done when they left, only the mastering and some minor editing to be done before it would be ready for another listen to decide whether it was truly complete or not.

Tohma had retired back to his office, ready to spend the evening alone, going over paperwork that had appeared on his desk while he had been in the studio. He had no more than picked up the first contract and settled his new reading glasses on the end of his nose when the door to his office opened and they were whipped off again and tossed on the desk as Tohma was ready and more than willing to rip into whomever had dared disturb him without so much as the mere courtesy of knocking. That was, until he saw Ryuichi standing near the door dressed in a slightly ridiculous pair of loose shorts that hung down just below his knees and a long-sleeved tee that looked layered under a short-sleeve one but obviously wasn't, since Tohma recognized it as one of their last t-shirt releases before Ryuichi had left the band and gone to America. Ryuichi had kept his head under a beanie cap all day, an unusual style for him, but Tohma knew why as he looked at the black hair now liberally streaked with a bright shade of bubble-gum pink. If Tohma hadn't known Ryuichi quite as long as he had, he would have needed a second, and maybe a third or fourth look to tell that it wasn't Shindou Shuichi that was stalking slowly across his office toward him.

Instead of speaking, Tohma leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms casually across his chest and arching one eyebrow as he watched the show. Ryuichi walked as though he knew what he wanted and knew how to get it. If nothing else, this would have been a dead giveaway. Though Shuichi was self-assured and positively magnetic on stage, in normal life he was still very unsure of himself, especially when it came to matters of seduction. Tohma couldn't help but recall coming home to his apartment one evening to find Shuichi waiting for him, slightly awkward and very nervous and so damn sexy Tohma had almost given in. Almost, until he had practically passed out on his own floor and reminded himself of what he needed to do, and why. His reminiscence had allowed Ryuichi time to get closer than Tohma might have otherwise allowed, he realized as he felt warmth close to his chest and settling on his thighs, gently pulling his arms apart and guiding them to the arms of his chair. He sat frozen in surprise, his mental faculties shut down at this absolutely shocking turn of events. He had known Ryuichi for years, and despite his tendency to be affectionate and too forward, he had never given even a hint that he might have been thinking of Tohma in this way.

"Hmm... What do you think of my new look, Tohma?" The smooth voice met his ear along with a warm, moist breath that caused a shiver he couldn't control down his back. "I know you miss him, you can't lie to me. Ah! No talking."

Ryuichi's smooth, warm hand had been placed over his lips softly as he opened them to speak and he relaxed again, deciding instead to see where, exactly, Ryuichi was going with this.

"I've been watching, Tohma. I've been watching you, watching him. He's getting happier, getting over you, but you're not moving on. You dated that squeaky, no-talent hack of an actress, gave her popularity a boost, but you never wanted her. She wasn't cute enough, wasn't male enough, was she?" Ryuichi's hand trailed from Tohma's closed lips to his chest, picking softly at the row of buttons marching neatly down the front of Tohma's shirt without undoing a single one. Tohma's breath caught as that teasing hand reached his belly, relaxing again as it trailed back up, tracing an unknown pattern across the material as it went. "I know what you want, Tohma, what you deny yourself. I know <i>who</i> you want."

Tohma started to squirm uncomfortably as those words met his ear, until Ryuichi's hands settled on his shoulders and he let more of his weight down on Tohma's lap. Ryuichi might have been smaller, but he had always been stronger, and Tohma knew that he now had no choice but to wait to see how far, exactly, Ryuichi was willing to take this scenario. Tohma slowly settled back in his chair, feeling the hands on his shoulders change their grip from restraint to a soft massage on one side, a tease on the other as Ryuichi's talented fingers slid in to the fringe of hair just below Tohma's right ear, teasing the sensitive skin there and causing an involuntary reaction below.

"I know, Tohma, why you can't have him. I've survived, though, Tohma. I can take his place. I know you would never love me for me, but I can be him for you. I can pretend, you know I can."

Ryuichi's soft whisper would have never been heard if his lips hadn't been so close to Tohma's ear. As it was he heard them so clearly it took him a moment to respond as the words echoed in his mind. For a brief, horrific moment his mind supplied images of a slim body beneath him, writhing on soft sheets and a hypnotic voice calling his name. He shook his head, his hand coming up to gently push at Ryuichi's shoulders. Ryuichi was right about who he wanted, who he longed for when he was loneliest in the middle of his largely sleepless nights, but it wasn't right. Ryuichi might look like him, superficially at least, but the smile would never be the same, the eyes would never be the same, it would never be <i>him</i>.

"Ryuichi, I--"

"Shh, Tohma." Ryuichi interrupted him again with that gentle hand over his lips, but this time he leaned back and let Tohma see the gentle smile, the spark of lucidity in his eyes as he spoke. "I know, why do you think I'm here? Ah, ah... Just listen. I spoke to Shuichi before I changed clothes and came up here. He's on his way home with K by now, he doesn't know I'm here, he doesn't know what I had planned. He didn't sleep with Nishikawa-san, Tohma. He wouldn't say it, but I can tell he still loves you. If you have the courage, he might be willing to give you another chance."

Tohma shook his head slowly, prying Ryuichi's hand from his mouth with gentle but insistent fingers. "Ryuichi, if the press found out--"

"So what? The fangirls would go nuts buying albums, especially if we announced a joint tour with both Bad Luck and Grasper as headliners next year." Ryuichi paused, his eyes becoming hard as his smile faded. "Don't even think about mentioning investors, either. The only stockholders who matter are Noriko and I, and we support this completely. We've sunk huge chunks of our earnings into this company before, and we'll do it again if we have to. You know that as well as I do."

Tohma sat, stunned. He rarely saw this side of Ryuichi, hardly anyone did. It was fierce, brilliant and if Tohma was forced to admit it, sexy as hell. Yet it wasn't the person he wanted, and as he slowly regained his wits after Ryuichi's pronouncements, Ryuichi got up from his lap and turned swiftly, practically bouncing back toward the door.

"Think about it, Tohma! Na no da!"

Tohma was left watching the door swing closed with a soft bang, catching his breath in small pieces in the swirling aftermath of the encounter. A short moment later, he was gathering his briefcase and his coat, calling for his driver to bring his car around, the papers left forgotten on his desk waiting for his return.

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Yuki Eiri smiled, watching the light from the streetlight outside the window shine in auburn hair as it spread across the white sheets of his bed. He lit a cigarette and sat back against the headboard, slowly exhaling a stream of smoke. Hiro had approached him shortly after his discussion with Tohma the night before, apparently intending to give him a piece of his mind with regards to his perceived treatment of Shuichi. After listening for a few minutes, he had tried to get a word in edgewise only to find that Hiro had no intention of giving him a chance to defend himself. Eiri had sat back and simply listened, nodding slowly, since he himself had come to much the same conclusions over the past weeks and months. Once Hiro had finally wound down and run out of arguments, he had simply stared at Eiri for a moment, before sinking into the chair across from him and lighting his own cigarette. Another moment had passed in silence before he had spoken again.

"Well, don't you have anything to say at all?"

"What is there to say," Eiri had answered calmly, lighting another cigarette, "when you have said basically what I've been thinking for several weeks at least?"

Hiro had looked away from him, silent for another few moments, obviously digesting Eiri's words before looking back to him and seeming to study him. Eiri remained calm, reminding himself that he agreed with Hiro, he had been wrong to treat Shuichi the way he had. He had taken only his own feelings and desires into account and hadn't thought about what Shuichi would think at all. Even their last argument, when Shuichi had told him he was moving out. It had taken him a while to understand why suddenly revealing he'd been considering letting Shuichi stay would have upset the singer, but he had finally come to something of an understanding about the issue, with a little help from his meddling sister. Now he watched Hiro and waited to see what else he might have to say, hoping he wouldn't be kept waiting too long.

"Then why haven't you apologized to him? Why haven't you tried to contact him and make things right?"

Eiri sighed before putting out his cigarette. "Because apologies don't come easy to me, for one. Because he has things on his mind other than me, these days, I'm sure. Because me apologizing to him right now can only confuse things more, for another," he paused, noting Hiro's slightly confused expression. He stood, took a step forward and leaned over the table, his hands coming to rest on the arms of Hiro's chair, effectively caging in the smaller man. "He needs to figure out what he wants, but I already know I'm not it. I haven't been it for almost a year, now. I've finally been able to move on and see that there are other people who might be able to accept me for longer than just a single night here or there. I'll apologize to him when he and I are both ready for that apology to happen."

He looked down on the pale face below him, the small curl of smoke from the still-smoldering remains of Hiro's forgotten cigarette floating up between them until Eiri moved his hand and tilted Hiro's chin up to look him in the eye more directly, pleased when Hiro allowed the movement and followed it easily.

"My brother tells me you and Ayaka broke up about six months ago."

"During the beginning of our tour," Hiro answered, nodding slightly. "Her father convinced her that a rock star wouldn't be the best choice for a husband in the long run, and the tour only helped reinforce it."

Eiri smiled slowly, watching Hiro's eyes flit back and forth between his own, surprise and then desire showing in their depths as Eiri's hand trailed slowly from Hiro's chin to bury itself in his hair, tugging gently to bring his face closer as he leaned in and pressed their lips together. He had wanted to do that for a while, ever since he had realized that he really had let Shuichi go. Hiro's lips were as soft as he had hoped they would be, pliant and slightly bitter from the cigarette and the alcohol he had doubtless been consuming that evening. He pressed his advantage, allowing a small noise to escape him when Hiro opened his mouth and met Eiri's questing tongue with his.

Eiri had broken the kiss after a moment, proud to notice the flush on Hiro's cheeks and the glitter in his eyes. He had stood, knowing he was leaving Hiro dumb-founded as he walked away. He turned as he reached the door back into the party.

"Come to my place after you're done at the studio tomorrow. We'll talk about this then, if you like."

He hadn't waited for Hiro's answer, instead choosing to wait at home all day, hoping Hiro would decide to come see him. He hadn't been disappointed, and they had done little talking at all before they had been kissing again, Hiro melting and giving in to Eiri in a sweetly innocent way that was both similar, yet completely different to the way Shuichi had been when they had first begun their relationship. But there the comparisons had stopped. There had been no hesitance in Hiro. He had apparently thought about it and accepted what he wanted to happen, since Eiri had gotten no resistance from him when he had directed him back to the bedroom and begun to slowly strip him in between deep kisses. The small noises he had made at first had been heady, intriguing as they slowly changed to more throaty moans and pleas as Eiri had done everything in his power to wring the noises from him.

He put out the cigarette and slid back down on the bed as Hiro stirred. He watched as Hiro raised one tanned hand, pushing a long strand of auburn hair out of his face as he shifted and opened his eyes, searching for Eiri. He smirked as he saw the smile spread over Hiro's face and leaned in for a kiss before he could say anything. They could discuss the particulars in the morning.