Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Bittersweet Void ❯ Prologue

Bittersweet Void

 

I do not own Gravitation.

 

Prologue

 

Shuichi stood in front of the apartment that he and Yuki used to share before Yuki left for New York. He was frozen in place. It had been three months since he had last set foot into the place due to the fact that he was on tour. Now here he stood dreading the thought of entering the place. Yuki may or may not be home. Considering that it was night, Shuichi concluded that if Yuki wasn't home then he was still in New York.

 

He stared up at the large building and swallowed hard. He couldn't endure heartbreak from the blond haired novelist—not again. If he entered the building to find it void of Yuki then his heart would definitely break.

 

He would not chase after Yuki anymore. He made that promise to himself when he followed him to New York. If Yuki didn't return home by the time that his tour was over, then he would give up on the older man. He didn't want to, but he knew that he needed to.

 

Shuichi sighed. He hated some of the things that Yuki did, but in the past he loved him too much to let him go. That had changed. With Yuki leaving and the Bad Luck tour, he had gone three months cold turkey, away from his biggest addiction.

 

Shuichi decided that if Yuki was home then he would continue their relationship, and if Yuki was not home then he would not. A lone tear rolled down his face at that thought.

 

He stared at the building a few moments longer before forcing himself to approach the door. He pulled out his key and proceeded inside. When he made it to his apartment door, he hesitantly opened it, closing his eyes as the door swung open. He let out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding. He stepped in and closed the door, opening his eyes.

 

Darkness stood before him. His hopeful demeanor changed into a hopeless one. Of course Yuki wasn't here. He turned to leave, but before he grabbed the door knob desperation washed over him. Maybe Yuki was here, just asleep.

 

He turned and ran to the bedroom with anticipation eating at him. He had to check before he gave up completely. He busted the door open and gasped at the sight before him.

 

There was no bed. He panicked. In denial he ran out to the living room only to find that it was empty also. He ran around the whole apartment only to find that everything that had belonged to Yuki was gone.

 

The apartment was bare. Not only was there no evidence that Yuki even lived there, but there was no evidence of their time together. There wasn't any warmth left that used to make the place feel like home. There wasn't any love. It was nothing more than a cold, lonely building that held painful memories.

 

He immediately regretted his previous thoughts of leaving Yuki. Yuki was his breath, his sunshine. Without Yuki he would no longer be the person that he had become. He would no longer be Shuichi. He hated Yuki for abandoning him, but at the same time loved him.

 

Broken, Shuichi went on a rampage. He kicked and punched the walls with tears rolling down his cheeks. He had hoped that Yuki would be home. He wanted to be with Yuki, he couldn't deny it, but Yuki didn't want him… he never had. That is why he didn't return home from New York. He didn't want Shuichi

 

Hitting the wall wasn't extinguishing the heartache and realization, so eventually he gave up. He fell to the ground, curling into a ball with tears flowing freely. Yuki wasn't going to come back…

 

0-0

 

“Shuichi…? Shuichi!” Hiro yelled and shook his friend almost violently to wake him, “Shuichi you have got to wake up!”

 

The pink haired male grumbled something incoherently while curling into a tighter ball.

 

“Come on Shuichi! Get up!” Hiro tried to shake his friend once more. After a few attempts Shuichi finally opened his eyes and sat up.

 

“How did you get here?” Shuichi asked groggily, his glassed over lavender eyes meeting Hiro's.

 

“I came to check on you. You didn't answer your phone or anything, and you left the door unlocked. What happened to you?” Hiro asked sitting next to his friend with his back against the wall, staring at him with worry.

 

“Yuki didn't come home…” Tears welled up in Shuichi's eyes as he started to shake with uncontrollable, silent sobs. His sobs soon turned into loud wails that echoed off the walls.

 

“Shu…I'm sorry,” Hiro apologized with a downward glance. He hated to see his friend like this. He didn't know what to say or do in a situation like this. Shuichi always cried over Yuki, but never before had his pain been at such a high intensity.

 

Bitterness for Yuki began to build up within Hiro. No one made Shuichi cry and got away with it.

 

Hiro draped his arm around Shuichi's shoulder as a form of comfort. The younger male embraced Hiro, crying his heart out. Hiro stroked his unusually weird pink hair. They sat there for what seemed like hours. After a while, Shuichi had finally calmed down enough to stop wailing. Hiro sat there patient and sympathetic.

 

“He doesn't want me anymore,” Shuichi whispered while sitting up, “I chased him away…”

 

“Shu, what makes you say that?” Hiro asked, unsure of the right words to say.

 

“Think about it, if he wanted me he would be here right now. His stuff would still be here…He isn't coming back Hiro.”

 

Hiro looked around the apartment at the last part. Indeed, the place was empty. He looked back at his friend with a sad expression. He was right.

 

“Hiro, he was my reason for everything. I woke up in the morning thinking of him. I went to bed with him on my mind. I succeeded in my music because of him. I pushed myself in my music to impress him. Don't you get it? I'm nothing without him,” Shuichi said with more tears.

 

“That's not true…Without Yuki, you are still you and will remain as Shuichi Shindo. Don't ever let yourself forget who you are. You succeeded in music because you are passionate about it. You had goals and dreams before you met Yuki. You wanted to surpass Ryuichi Sakuma. Please do not change who you are because of him,” Hiro tried to comfort his friend.

 

Shuichi sniffled a few times while wiping at his tears. As much as he would like to deny what Hiro said, he couldn't. Music was his life, but Yuki was also. His life was void of his human love, but he couldn't abandon his music love. He still had half of a life. Could he only live a half existence?

 

“I want to get away from here. I never want to return to this place again…” Shuichi whispered in the middle of standing.

 

Hiro stood and clasped his hand on the younger man's back. Without a backward glance he ushered Shuichi to the door.

 

“Hiro?” Shuichi asked in a bland voice that didn't belong to him.

 

“Yes, what is it?” The brown headed man prompted while leading Shuichi to his motorcycle.

 

“If you don't mind, can we go and get something to eat?” Shuichi asked. His stomach seemed to growl in agreement after the words left his lips.

 

Hiro looked down at his friend for a while then smiled. Hopefully Yuki didn't do too much damage that it would decrease Shuichi's massive appetite. He nodded, “Sure thing Shu.”

 

The ride to Zenny's was a quiet one. Hiro wasn't used to Shuichi being quiet, but he didn't want to say the wrong thing that would cause Shuichi to cry again.

 

When Hiro and Shuichi were seated inside of the restaurant, Hiro finally decided to break the unbearable silence.

 

“Say, Shu?” Hiro asked.

 

The pink haired man looked up into his friend's eyes. “Yes,” he answered in the same bland voice he had used at the apartment.

 

“What about Bad Luck?” He asked hoping that he had chosen a safe subject.

 

Shuichi looked thoughtful, turning the question over in his head several times before answering. “I will not quit the band, if that is what you are asking…Hiro?”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Do you think that I will ever be able to forget…?”

 

“Forget what? Yuki?” Hiro asked, puzzled.

 

“Yea,” Shiuchi nodded, blinking back tears.

 

“Why would you want to do that?” Hiro asked. He was shocked to hear that coming from his friend.

 

“Because…he is not going to come back, I realize that now. I just don't know how I can live without the second half of my heart, so I want to forget all about him and focus solely on Bad Luck.”

 

“You don't mean that…”

 

“Yes I do. Hiro, I can't have him. It's killing me. I just don't know what to do anymore!” Shuichi yelled, busting out with tears once again.

 

Hiro's heart constricted. He wanted nothing more than for Shuichi to stop crying. He wanted to erase the pain and heart ache that Yuki had inflicted on his best friend. He wished that Shuichi had never met Yuki, but he couldn't just undo the past, unless… “Shuichi, are you sure that you want to forget about Yuki?” Hiroshi asked with an idea. Before Shuichi could adequately compose himself to answer, the food was delivered. “Maybe he isn't in as bad of a condition as I thought…I will give it a week before I act,” he thought, smiling as his friend demolished his food.

 

0-0

 

Hiroshi looked at his nostalgic best friend and sighed. It had been a full week since they returned from tour, and Shuichi discovered that Yuki was still gone. That whole week Shuichi sat on the futon, isolated. He was not in tune with his surroundings, nor did barely eat or talk. He had called off work the whole week feigning sick.

 

Hiro had never seen his friend this down for this long. He was afraid that Shuichi had fallen into depression.

 

He sighed and walked over to the pink head sitting down next to him. After about five minutes of an awkward silence, Hiro decided that this would end, now.

 

“Shuic—”

 

The door to his small apartment was kicked in with a thud. He turned to see the intruder and deadpanned at the sight of his American manager K, who happened to be holding an AK-47.

 

“Shindo, you need to whip your ass into gear, or I will do it for you! Missing work for a whole week due to some unknown illness is inexcusable!” K yelled taking aim at the pink hair boy.

 

Shuichi paid K no mind and continued to stare at nothing in particular. K growled in agitation, his finger itching to pull the trigger. Hiro saw the catastrophe about to unfold and intervened.

 

“Eh, Mr. K, lets talk about this,” Hiroshi said jumping to his feet and pushing K out of the door. Surprisingly, K went without a struggle.

 

“Spit it out Hiroshi, what's wrong with Shuichi?” K asked eyeing the guitarist expectantly.

 

“Shuichi is…depressed. Yuki didn't return from New York and Shuichi says that he wants to forget about him and focus on Bad Luck,” Hiro explained.

 

K looked thoughtful as the information presented to him sunk it.

 

“Maybe we could get a hypnotherapist to remove his memory of Yuki? He wont be depressed, and he wont have anything to worry about other than his music,” K said while nodding.

 

Hiro produced a flat look causing K to laugh nervously.

 

“I don't care about his ability to sing and compose music. I care about his well-being. Ironically though, you read my mind. I was thinking of a hypnotherapist too, but I didn't know if it would work or not. What do you know about them?” Hiro asked.

 

“Well, it would not erase his memories of Yuki. It will only suppress them to the point where he won't consciously remember him. Sometimes it doesn't work, but it won't hurt to try…Shuichi get your ass out here now!” K yelled, only to receive silence.

 

“Maybe you should let me get him. Wait, how are we supposed to get in touch with a hypnotist at such a short notice?” Hiro asked, causing K to break out in an evil laugh. Hiro dead panned once again.

 

“You asked me what was wrong with Shuichi, yet you already knew, didn't you? Hiro asked in a dry voice causing K to laugh louder.

 

“My dear Hiroshi, what makes you say that,” K said with a huge smile.

 

Hiro sighed and dryly muttered, “I wouldn't put anything past you.”

 

K clapped him on the back, and said with a cheery smile, “The van is waiting for you downstairs. If you two are not down in three, then I will come and get you…by any means necessary.”

 

Hiro chuckled nervously and watched K walk off. When K was out of sight, Hiro entered his apartment and stood in front of Shuichi.

 

“Shu?” Hiro asked while looking at his distant friend. After a while of no response, Hiro put his hand on Shuichi's head. The vocalist jumped from the contact and began to look around wildly. Hiro smiled, “Cool it, it's only me. Say, I gotta question for ya.”

 

“What is it?” Shuichi asked, refusing to meet Hiro's gaze.

 

“A week ago, did you really mean that you wanted to forget about Yuki?” Hiro asked, flinching slightly when Shuichi's purple eyes began to water. Hiro backed off slightly, preparing for the worst.

 

Shuichi wiped at quiet tears with the backs of his hands. Eventually, he was able to meet Hiro's eyes. Shuichi nodded his answered, unable to find his voice.

 

“You know there is no going back don't you?” Hiro asked studying his friend closely, waiting for any indication that he didn't want to go through with forgetting Yuki. He found no hesitation, only resolve in his friend's purple eyes.

 

“I know,” Shuichi whispered.

 

Chapter End

 

A/N: I hope you enjoyed the prologue. Reviews are welcomed and appreciated. Let me know what you think about the story so far.