Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Cats, Crutches and Babies? Oh My! ❯ Incognito ( Chapter 28 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: BakaYasha 
Shuichi and Ryuichi pull a swifty and head out for a serious chat.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 09.20.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 6.4K | Visits: 398 | Status: Work In Progress
Shuichi and Ryuichi pull a swifty and head out for a serious chat.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 09.20.2008 | Pages: 3 | Words: 6.4K | Visits: 398 | Status: Work In Progress
Shuichi woke up before his alarm the next morning, invigorated and full of life. As he walked towards the bathroom to get ready for the day ahead, his eyes traveled over the length of the bed and stayed transfixed on his lovers face, bathed in struggling rays of sunlight. The author was sound asleep and would be for several more hours yet.
It was a regular occurrence for the young singer to wake up hours earlier than his soon-to-be husband, but he often wished that Eiri could be awake at the same time as him. Every once in a while he did enjoy having some alone time, but it could get awfully lonely, especially if it was raining or snowing and he didn’t feel like going to work.
Quite often when he wasn’t rushing to get to the studio, Shuichi would take a steaming mug of his favorite tea and sit out on the balcony; he’d watch the city wake up. He wrote a lot of his best songs out on that balcony. There was just something about the morning that inspired him to write.
On the other hand it would be nice, every once in a while, to sit in silence with his lover sitting and enjoying everything along side him. A lot could be said when neither person talked, but both people listened.
Shuichi always thought that Eiri’s books might manage to achieve happier tones if he wrote out on the balcony, even if it wasn’t in the morning.
After all, the authors milieu affects his work exponentially, and Eiri sitting alone in his white walled, leather bound study all day must have something to do with why many sections of his books were, to say the least, morose.
Unfortunately, Shuichi felt his dreams were short lived and that they would most likely remain just what they were: dreams, fantasies and wishes.
Because he often stayed up so late working, Eiri rarely got up before ten a.m. unless he had to go to the bathroom and, on his way back to bed, the fragrant promise of fresh brewed coffee lured him into the kitchen to unwillingly start his day. Once he had that very first, deliciously necessary, cup of java there was no going back to bed. He’d tried a few times, but the perking properties of the caffeine and sugar, which made the dark brown drink so appealing, always prevented him from returning to sleep. He either couldn’t get comfortable again, or he’d feel too hot or the covers just wouldn’t lie properly. Such was the awakening power of coffee; a power the blonde novelist loathed and worshipped simultaneously.
That was one of the things that was very different about the two of them. Eiri’s behavior wrote the definition for the term ‘Night Owl’. He functioned much smoother when everyone was asleep, the night winds drifting wayward dreams toward his spirited fingers. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Shuichi was most certainly an early bird, loving fresh bright mornings and often early nights.
While many wannabe rock stars had visions of late night parties and even later afternoon wake up calls, the reality was that his job required him to be up and at ‘em by around six thirty or seven in the morning. Every single day. Contrary to popular belief he had a very demanding job as a musician, though that part of things was usually only seen by die hard fans in the special features section of their concert tour DVD’s. Regardless, his job wasn’t the only thing that he woke up early for.
In the warmer months it was for the crystal clear drops of dew hanging on the plant leaves and the cool damp freshness of the air as he walked to the train station. During the winter and fall seasons, he did it for the frost that glittered over everything, as though the city had turned to ice over night. He got up for the air that felt sharp and new inside his lungs.
Like newly applied cologne, the air only smelled perfect until you started to go about your day and lost the scent of it. Shuichi’s walks home never smelled as nice as his walks to work. Instead of being crisp and fresh, the air smelled heavy, tired and worn out, like it had been breathed in and out by one too many people; cycled through one too many machines and car engines.
He already knew that he wanted to get married in the morning if he could, though Eiri might not want that. Could people get married in the morning? It wasn’t like either of them had to have three (or more) hours of hair and make-up done to them before they were ready to walk down the aisle…
As he stripped off his yellow and blue checked pajama bottoms to get into the shower, he started to think about some of the other things Eiri might want or might not want for their special day. What kinds of flowers would he want? What foods? Where and when would he want it to take place?
There were just so many things to think about, so much to decide, and Shuichi was really hoping that he wouldn’t have to do it all by himself, though he really didn’t anticipate that Eiri was going to volunteer his help. Shuichi decided to give his lover the benefit of the doubt and assume he would want to help plan his own wedding, though this was new territory for both of them so anything was possible.
The vocalist didn’t know what to expect because they hadn’t really discussed any of it together, past wanting to be legally married instead of just having a commitment ceremony. Admittedly they had an excuse for being preoccupied, things had gotten pretty hectic soon after Eiri proposed. To Shuichi at least, his lover falling down the stairs and breaking a bone were not exactly the most welcoming set of events that could have been waiting in the wings to usher them into this newest chapter of their lives, but he wasn’t really complaining. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise?
The singer made a note to make sure he sat down and talked to his lover about planning “the big day” when he came home from work. He certainly didn’t want to do it alone, and then turn into a “monster groom”, constantly fretting about anything and everything wedding related and not actually being able to enjoy it. It was most likely a long way off anyway, and that next summer would more than likely be ideal for it. Bad Luck’s touring schedule for the following year was still written in butter so to speak, and he made another note to bring it up at work. At least that way they could plan the wedding around anything band related he might want to avoid. He would also be certain that he wasn’t going to be shanghaied at gunpoint into another of K’s crazy publicity stunts just as he was getting ready to walk down the aisle.
Thirty minutes, two hair appliances and a half dozen different types of product later Shuichi found himself standing all but nude inside his closet, picking out clothes.
‘Clothes…’
They were another thing he had been thinking about in regards to the wedding. He so badly wanted to make his parents proud, but he couldn’t help imagining what he’d look like walking down the aisle in a frilly white dress. Of course he didn’t really want to wear one, (even he wasn’t that into cross dressing) but the look on everyone’s face would almost be worth making a joke out of one of the most important days of his life. Perhaps he could start out in a dress, then once he saw the shock on everyone’s faces and had a good laugh, he could rip it off to reveal the tux underneath?
‘Must be the performer in me…’ he thought.
Grinning, he relegated that little item to the back of his mind and concentrated on the things at hand.
Since he’d heard it was supposed to be cold he picked out, and put on, one of his favorite orange sweaters along with a pair of dark gray cords. They weren’t going to be doing much at the studio since it was the first productive day back from their studio break, so he decided to dress comfortable rather than chic.
When Shuichi sat down on the bed to put on his dark colored socks, his lover groaned and slowly rolled over to face him. Much to Shu’s dismay, Eiri’s ribs weren’t bothering him too badly anymore and he’d found a way to sleep, more or less, on his sides, while still elevating his leg. Three fluffy pillows and a roll of duct tape had fixed that problem quick fast and in a hurry. What did Eiri care if he looked like a complete idiot with pillows taped around his cast? Pain medication and desperation could do strange things to a man…
“Why do you get up so bloody early?” Eiri mumbled, his disheveled head of blonde hair half buried under the red duvet. “I hate when you wake me up... Selfish little brat…”
Shuichi smiled because what his lover had said, when translated from Yuki language into ordinary Japanese, meant, “I don’t like to go back to sleep knowing you aren’t here anymore, my precious pet.”
Okay, he may have added the endearing term of affection onto the end, but the general message was still there.
He leaned over and planted a kiss on the part of his lover’s head that was showing. He got another grumbling, unappreciative noise in response. He tried to convince the novelist that he was still dreaming.
“I wasn’t here,” he said in a mysterious dream/ghost voice, the kind that nobody ever actually hears in their dreams, yet people use anyway…
“This was all a dream.”
Eiri smiled into the covers, but only one corner of it was visible to Shuichi. The singer assumed his partner was making a face at him.
“If only that were true, Brat,” He murmured as Shu got up to leave,
“If only that were true.”
*****
A brisk walk and a short, but crowded train ride found Shuichi standing outside the NG building, contemplating how and when he was going to break his and Eiri’s news to his band and crew. He was going to need to take nearly a month off in total during one of the busiest seasons of their year and he was dreading the responses he was going to get.
First thing in the morning would most likely be the best time, while people were less coherent, and because Lunch would be too late. He (Or Hiro or K) would spill the beans by then.
After lunch, Hiro normally ran sound checks on his equipment and then laid down tracks in studio 2 while Shuichi was in 2B doing vocal recording, if he had any to do. Fujisaki disappeared as well, usually to his afternoon classes, so unless he was going to sing the news to them over the intercom system, after lunch was pretty much a fruitless time to consider.
Near the end of the day, their team started to break down as jobs were accomplished and less and less people were needed, so that was out too.
He stilled his mind and steeled his will, gathering up all the confidence his tiny body could muster and headed inside.
~~~
“You’re what?!” Fujisaki gasped in astonishment. Out of their entire group, he was probably the most conservative and Shuichi knew that he would have at least a few negative comments to make about his and Eiri’s engagement. Before long though he’d give up and go along with everyone else, as he usually did. Shu didn’t really care what the youngest member of their group thought, as long as it didn’t get in the way of their progress as musicians, or their relationship as friends.
“He said they’re getting married. Is your hearing starting to go on you, Old Man?” Hiro shot back snidely. It was a common joke among them that, while he was the youngest in a physical sense, Suguru was actually the oldest mentally, and thus they liked to tease him by calling him Old Man, Old Fart, and using honorifics generally reserved for upper classmen and older people.
“Old Man!?” The young keyboardist fumed. “I’ll show YOU who the old man is!”
Suguru was about to start across the table after a cackling Hiro (who was crab walking away to safety on his backwards facing wheelie chair) when K grabbed him by the collar of his blue angora sweater.
“Enough!” He boomed loudly in English. They all froze in place, Shuichi included although he hadn’t done anything wrong.
K looked around the room and then set his angry gaze on Hiro.
“Shame on you Hiroshi. You should know better then to provoke him like that!”
“Yeah!” Suguru quipped, still in K’s grasp.
“We wouldn’t want the Old Man to break a hip…or…an ass cheek, hopping over the table now would we?” K continued leisurely, “Who would compose our songs? Who would complain to us about everything we do wrong? Who would entertain us by farting himself to sleep after eating [1]Nato on rice?”
And with that the fight was on.
The blonde, the red head and the green haired youngster ended up brawling together in a big heap on the floor, comments such as “Take that, you Geezers!” and “Hurry up and die of old age, so we can burn you!”floated up to Shuichi’s ears. The singer sighed futilely. He rested his head on his outstretched arm while he waited for the trio of idiots to kill each other or, at least, come to some sort of stale mate.
“He bit me on the ass with his dentures! That is it!-” Hiro screamed as he bite Suguru back on the leg. The kid squealed in pain and thumped K on the head.
Shuichi just sighed again. And people called him hyper and stupid…
When he chanced to look up again the doorway fell directly into his sightline, and standing just outside, was a rather glum looking Ryuichi.
Shuichi got up immediately and, first stepping over the pile of idiots on the floor, headed out to talk with him.
“Hi Sakuma-san. What are you doing down on this floor?”
He knew the older singer was seeking him out, since there was no other reason for him to be in the basement studios. Nittle Grasper had several state of the art studios and sound booths near the top floor that were for their use and their use only. They would never have any need to venture below ground for anything, least of all Ryuichi. The oldest of the three ‘Grasper legends tended to be coddled constantly by several assistants, Mr. Sakano, Tohma and handled with kid gloves in general from the moment he stepped into the building to the moment he left it. How he was there, alone, was a mystery unto itself.
“Hi Shu-chan. I asked someone where you all were hiding so I could come and seek you.”
Shuichi got the Hide ‘n Seek joke and smiled.
He must have asked someone other than Tohma where they were, since Tohma was, at this point, being left out of the info loop, as per Eiri’s request.
Because Shuichi’s marital news had already reached K’s ears, he had taken control, and decided that it would be best for him to tell Suguru somewhere other than their normally appointed meeting room. They were forced to meet downstairs in one of the basement recording booths, usually given out to the freshly signed contract groups and lower level studio musicians. They weren’t bad rooms, but they weren’t great either.
K was taking great pains to see the news did not get out prematurely.
Their old meeting room had been bugged before (They had their suspicions on who it had been) and K hadn’t had a chance to check the new room since their return from the studio break. He was not going to have this particular news leaking out to the press before he had found a way to leak it to them himself and use it to their advantage.
“Oh I see. Well what did you need to see me about?”
A strange look came over Ryuichi’s face.
“Can we go somewhere else to talk? I don’t feel very good down here.”
“Sure we can Ryu, where would you like to go.”
“I don’t know. Maybe for some coffee?”
Ryuichi wanted coffee? This had to be something serious.
“Uh, well I suppose we could do that.” He glanced over his shoulder to see what was going on in the room he had left. The three men where now dozing off in a big puppy pile in the middle of the floor, oversized grins plastered on their faces.
‘Idiots’ he thought.
“So can we go? You won’t get in trouble right?”
“No I don’t think I will. Just let me grab my stuff and we can leave.”
He had taken to bringing his disguise gear with him everywhere, inside his backpack. Though he rarely needed it at work, it still paid to have it for moments like these when he needed to pop out of the building for something without security.
In the early mornings when the train was packed tight with middle age salary men who had no clue who he was, nor had the time to care even if they did, things tended to be a lot easier on him. However some mornings could find his train overly populated with teenaged students who would know exactly who he was and it was in those instances that he was glad he had his hat and sunglasses with him at all times.
He and Ryu headed upstairs, disguises consistency of a hat and pair of sunglasses in their hands. Shuichi found it somewhat odd for his older friend to be so quiet, when he was normally quite loud and rambunctious. It was like he was hiding something, and was afraid to say anything in case he let something slip while they were still in the building.
At the front doors, they were stopped by two bulky men in gray suits, each one sporting a curled transparent ear piece. It was a normal occurrence for them to be there, guarding the entrance, but because Ryuichi was with him, Shu didn’t automatically get the customary “Good luck.” nod of their heads. Before Ryu could leave, the guards had to first check with Tohma.
It was when they went to contact the blonde executive that the older singer finally spoke.
“You know Shuichi, I don’t really feel like coffee after all.”
And he turned them both around and headed back the way they came, leaving the guards baffled.
“Ryuichi, is there something bothering you? You’re acting…”
Shuichi wanted to use the word normal, but somehow it didn’t seem right. He didn’t want to offend Ryu.
“Old?” Ryuichi offered as they continued walking, deeper and deeper into the building. “We can’t talk here. Tohma will find out and I don’t want that. I don’t want him to send me back to…” He shivered, the reverberations traveling down his arm and into Shuichi’s hand, “…her.”
Shuichi was bewildered. This was the shortest, scariest and, strangely, most coherent conversation he’d ever had with Ryuichi and they hadn’t even left NG yet.
“Are we heading for one of the back doors then?” the pink haired vocalist asked quietly as they passed by a group of sound techs, looking over a programming grid and speaking excitedly.
Ryu didn’t say anything, and pulled him down yet another hallway. How he knew where he was going so well was beyond Shu, who was basically just hanging on for the ride. It was as if Ryuichi was honing in on some pulsating beacon, buried somewhere near the outskirts of the building. Then, finally, he found the door he was searching for. The two of them headed inside the well lit meeting/storage room, picking their way over a few boxes and the odd chair on their way over to the window. Ryu opened it and gracefully hopped out first, as though he did this frequently. He looked around and then turned to wait as Shuichi, with somewhat less elegance, followed suit.
They put on their hats and sunglasses before walking down the cramped back alley and towards the bustling street. The minute they hit the crowded sidewalk, Ryu’s composure changed visibly. He picked up his head, straightened his back and the innocent, carefree smile he normally wore crept back onto his face. Whatever this was about seemed to be directly affected by Tohma’s presence, or at least, his control over the NG building and those that monitored its many hallways and rooms.
The two of them walked side by side through the mess of people and soon came to a decoratively dim, yet frenzied coffee shop. There was an art to the controlled chaos that went on behind the counter of the cafe, as people made drinks, shouted clipped orders to each other and heralded customers over to pick up their completed beverages. Ryu went over to one of the cashiers and ordered two iced chai-tea lattes while Shuichi tried to keep his head down and avoid being recognized. The older singer paid with his MasterCard and they went over to one of the quieter corners of the café to wait for their order number to be called.
Neither of them spoke while they waited and despite the noise level and activity in the room, an uncomfortable silence clung to them, chafing against their skin.
Shuichi really wanted to know what this was about, but he didn’t want to try and talk to Ryuichi about it in the café. There was a park not even two blocks from where they were, and he decided to suggest it.
“Do you want to go talk in the park near here?”
Ryu nodded. “Sure.”
Four minutes later, Ryuichi heard their number being called and he went over to grab the drinks. He handed one to Shuichi, who thanked him, and they headed out towards the park.
They walked in silence down the street, side by side, sipping their lattes. Each lost in his own thoughts until they walked through the low, black steel and gray brick fence that surrounded the neatly kempt downtown park.
They headed briskly out of the open, towards a more secluded area, cut off in part by a decoratively trimmed growth of snow bushes [2] and partly by a young growth of conifer trees. They found a bench and sat down on.
“Shuichi…”
Shu didn’t even have time to say anything before Ryu threw himself around the singer and burst into tears; Their half finished drinks hit the ground.
“I just can’t take this anymore! I can’t be alone. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything... I miss Tatsuha!”
Shu patted the singers back and comforted him as best he could while checking around to make sure that nobody could see them. Shu doubted that was the whole reason Ryuichi was upset, but he knew that whatever problems he was having were not helped by Tatsuha being gone.
“Its okay Ryu, you’re not alone. You never have to be alone if you don’t want to be. I’m here, Tatsuha will be here soon and Tohma-”
“Tohma doesn’t love me anymore.” Ryuichi spat bitterly as he wiped his eyes from around Shu’s shoulder.
“He says he does, he says I hurt him…but it wasn’t my fault.”
Ah, so there was the real reason they had to travel so far from NG to talk. Tohma.
Shuichi had never heard any of this before and about all he knew was based on rumors that were traded amongst Nittle Graper fans. None of them was based on any actual evidence, or at least, so he had previously thought. It was just assumed by Nittle Grasper’s fans that, because of how they two of them had acted on stage and in interviews, that Ryu and Tohma were lovers, or had been years ago. Shuichi had always sort of know that there was something to the rumors, but he had never been so bold as to ask Ryu or Tohma about it. Tohma hated him as it was, so that would be all he needed. Another reason for him to want to tear up Bad Lucks contract…
“He couldn’t choose me and so I had to hurt him, even though I didn’t want too! He was making us suffer and my heart couldn’t take it.”
“What do you mean he couldn’t choose you? Who did he have to…”
Oh. Ryuichi meant that Tohma hadn’t been able to choose between him and Yuki…
“Ryu I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think about …”
The brown haired singer sniffed and sat back onto his own side of the bench.
“It’s not your fault…but ever since…ever since that day I fell apart, he’s been calling me…trying to tell me that he’s sorry, that things should have gone differently and to give him a second chance.”
Tohma and Mika-san where expecting a baby, why would Tohma want to have Ryuichi back as a lover? Why couldn’t he just be happy with his wife and their child? Tohma made absolutely no sense to Shuichi. Never had and never would. Eiri had told him once that Tohma hid a lot of things from a lot of people. It must be hard to put up so many false fronts and never really take them down. To have to hide so many things from the world, to never know to whom he belonged.
Despite Tohma’s vast wealth, talents, lucrative business sense and power, Shuichi pitied him. And he always would, because Tohma had no one to share any of those things with. To Shuichi, it seemed that Mika-san couldn’t care less about him half the time, Eiri had since outgrown his fawning and doting, and Ryuchi… well, Ryuichi was a whole different story all by himself. Shu was certain that Tohma was a very lonely man and that if he needed anything at all, it was hugs and a lot of therapy.
“Ryu, I really hope that you can talk with him about this. Maybe what you two really need is to go to a therapist together and get her to work some of this out with you?”
Ryuichi froze up, his face going steely when Shuichi mentioned “therapist”.
“I don’t like them. Not one bit. Therapists do nothing, but make mine and Kuma’s heads hurt for days and days and days.” He held his head to emphasize.
“They aren’t so smart you know…”
Shuichi could see that he had touched on something he shouldn’t have.
“It was only a suggestion, you don’t have to go. I know Eiri’s therapist helped him a lot…”
“I know Shuichi, I really do know.” The singer stared intently at Shuichi. His eyes were those of a much older man and his expression was weary and battered.
“I appreciate that you’re being such a good friend through...all of this.” He pulled Shuichi close into a hug.
“I just want you to know, that I don’t resent your Novelist-san for what happened, it wasn’t his fault either. He needed Tohma too, just like me. I guess he just… needed him more.”
Ryuichi never ceased to amaze. He wasn’t quite his normal self, in fact this was the youngest Shuichi had ever felt around Ryuichi since they had met, but yet he still managed to maintain his childlike ambivalence to the world around him, that sort of Je ne sais quoi[3] he was famous for.
They got up from the bench, hugged a second time and slowly made their way back to NGpro.
Shuichi was sure Tohma and K had figured out that both he and Ryuichi were gone by this point, and he wasn’t looking forward to the earful they had coming, but he was still glad Ryuichi had chosen to talk to him. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was going to be able to do, or how much he would be able to help out, but he felt better knowing he was at least given the opportunity.
It was at that point that a thought struck him. He knew exactly what he could do!
“Hey Ryu? How would you and Kuma like to come and stay with Yuki and I for a few days?”
Ryuichi’s face lit up. “Really?!” He squealed happily. There was the Ryuichi Shu was used to.
“Sure! I know you’re lonely right now and missing Tatsuha, but you’re more than welcome to come and stay with us if it will make you feel better.”
“Oh Shu-chan that would make me sooo much better! I know it would! Yay, I can’t wait to tell Kumagoro!”
Ryu began to run back to NG, his problems all but forgotten as The Child took him over.
Shuichi trotted along behind him, and thought about what Yuki was going to say when he showed up at home with Ryu in tow.
This wasn’t going to be pretty, but he’d be damned if he was going to let Eiri keep him from doing what he decided was absolutely necessary at this point.
Mind made up, he set a determined grin on his face and raced to catch up with Ryuichi.
*****
[1] http://www.thesneeze.com/art/natto/dripping300_304.jpg
Nato is a dish made of fermented soy beans that are mixed with mustard and soya sauce. Commonly eaten plain or over rice as a snack or as an addition to the morning meal. It can only be described as chunky brownish vomit hunks covered in brown snot with a horrific stench to match. Commonly enjoyed by older Japanese people (Though there are lots of young people that like it too). Tends to make the person eating it VERY gassy afterwards. It has a weird nutty ass taste that people either hate or love.
Very rarely will a westerner be able to watch someone eat this dish without vomiting, let alone attempt to sample it…
(I added that last part in to be funny, but also truthful. My Obi (Grandma) is Japanese and eats a little of this stuff with some rice almost every morning because apparently it’s super good for you…I eat fast and get out of there before she breaks it out, so she isn’t tempted to get me to eat some, and so I don’t lose my recently enjoyed breakfast all over the kitchen watching her scarf it back…)
[2] Japanese snow bush- The green and burgundy foliage is spotted with white, giving the plant the appearance of having been snowed upon. An easy to grow tropical adaptable to sun or light shade. Typical height 5-7’
For a Picture (you nerds…it’s just a plant…j/k): http://www.almostedenplants.com/shopping/images/wpeDC1.jpg
[3] “Je ne sais quoi” is a turn of phrase in French which means literally “I don’t know what”. It’s used out of it’s literal context in English and other languages as it’s own entity, to sometimes describe something, with some fancy flair, that you are unsure of. Such as a trying to detect a missing ingredient in a food. You know something’s missing, you just don’t know what. Je ne sais quoi. I think the phrase sums up Ryuichi quite nicely. something’s missing, we just don’t know what it is! (lol his brain! J/k)
AN: My parents split for good and over the spring and summer I have been dealing with a ton of emotional shit that I can’t even begin to describe here, so let’s just say my life is taking a different, more grown up turn and I am much happier for it now. I finally finished this chapter (the first half of which was written nearly six months ago…)
And things are getting a little more exciting. Can you feel this thing coming to a head yet? No? Is it still just an itchy red bump under the skin? I don’t know why I just used a pimple analogy there…Well anyways, the foot notes are long enough on this chapter without me flapping my big yap so I’ll wrap this up by saying don’t worry about me, don’t worry about this being finished. All good thing take time! It WILL get finished!…eventually.
For MM.org Reviewers:
To doyle20:
Thank you for the perfect score and don’t you worry about the Porsche…that’s coming up soon! ^_~
To Anon221:
Id just like to point out that while 59 hit’s a mere ten days after I posted the most recent chapter (the hits are over 200 on it now), in comparison to the first one might look bad, I have to point out that those are individual hits, from individual computers. 1 hit per person, per chapter. On this site I have around 200 faithful, individual, readers, (Not including readers from other sites this is posted on) my story has the most hits of any Gravitation fan fic on this site (over 22000), as well as the most reviews (124 + over 80 on other sites), so I don’t think I’m “writing something bad” at all. Despite the long waits between chapters, I have 200+ readers that faithfully check to see if I’ve written and who like the story enough to continue to read it. I get more hits on one new chapter than most people manage to get on their entire stories, so I honestly think you are the one who doesn’t know what they are talking about…
To Belle ange:
First off, thank you for riding to my rescue when Anon221 decided to flame me. I appreciate your enthusiasm and your choice of words was wonderfully frank! Now, I am glad you think my Christmas eve plans are going to come out right, I shall do my best to give you the Zani awkwardness you are craving from me! It should be interesting indeed…
For Gurabite Reviewers:
To happy-noon:
Thanks so much for the great comments! I am glad my story is managing to keep you entertained! As I have stated countless times, Eiri is like my alter-ego and in the story I am as much a part of everything he does, as he is a part of everything I do. If we stepped outside the bounds of reality for a few seconds and got to talk, I think we’d have a lot to say to one another, and it’s those things that I try to make sure I write into him, in this piece. He is, in my mind at least, an evolving character, dynamic in every sense of the word and fully fledged out in beautiful 3-D. I’m always glad to get comments on Eiri’s thoughts and feelings towards things, and the way he evolves because in a sense people are also commenting on me and my life as well. It’s a really cool feeling.
I am looking forward to the Christmas visit also. That was a kind of spur of the moment thing I just threw in there because I thought, “Hell why the fuck not!”. Needless to say it should be veeery interesting for us all…
It was a regular occurrence for the young singer to wake up hours earlier than his soon-to-be husband, but he often wished that Eiri could be awake at the same time as him. Every once in a while he did enjoy having some alone time, but it could get awfully lonely, especially if it was raining or snowing and he didn’t feel like going to work.
Quite often when he wasn’t rushing to get to the studio, Shuichi would take a steaming mug of his favorite tea and sit out on the balcony; he’d watch the city wake up. He wrote a lot of his best songs out on that balcony. There was just something about the morning that inspired him to write.
On the other hand it would be nice, every once in a while, to sit in silence with his lover sitting and enjoying everything along side him. A lot could be said when neither person talked, but both people listened.
Shuichi always thought that Eiri’s books might manage to achieve happier tones if he wrote out on the balcony, even if it wasn’t in the morning.
After all, the authors milieu affects his work exponentially, and Eiri sitting alone in his white walled, leather bound study all day must have something to do with why many sections of his books were, to say the least, morose.
Unfortunately, Shuichi felt his dreams were short lived and that they would most likely remain just what they were: dreams, fantasies and wishes.
Because he often stayed up so late working, Eiri rarely got up before ten a.m. unless he had to go to the bathroom and, on his way back to bed, the fragrant promise of fresh brewed coffee lured him into the kitchen to unwillingly start his day. Once he had that very first, deliciously necessary, cup of java there was no going back to bed. He’d tried a few times, but the perking properties of the caffeine and sugar, which made the dark brown drink so appealing, always prevented him from returning to sleep. He either couldn’t get comfortable again, or he’d feel too hot or the covers just wouldn’t lie properly. Such was the awakening power of coffee; a power the blonde novelist loathed and worshipped simultaneously.
That was one of the things that was very different about the two of them. Eiri’s behavior wrote the definition for the term ‘Night Owl’. He functioned much smoother when everyone was asleep, the night winds drifting wayward dreams toward his spirited fingers. On the opposite end of the spectrum, Shuichi was most certainly an early bird, loving fresh bright mornings and often early nights.
While many wannabe rock stars had visions of late night parties and even later afternoon wake up calls, the reality was that his job required him to be up and at ‘em by around six thirty or seven in the morning. Every single day. Contrary to popular belief he had a very demanding job as a musician, though that part of things was usually only seen by die hard fans in the special features section of their concert tour DVD’s. Regardless, his job wasn’t the only thing that he woke up early for.
In the warmer months it was for the crystal clear drops of dew hanging on the plant leaves and the cool damp freshness of the air as he walked to the train station. During the winter and fall seasons, he did it for the frost that glittered over everything, as though the city had turned to ice over night. He got up for the air that felt sharp and new inside his lungs.
Like newly applied cologne, the air only smelled perfect until you started to go about your day and lost the scent of it. Shuichi’s walks home never smelled as nice as his walks to work. Instead of being crisp and fresh, the air smelled heavy, tired and worn out, like it had been breathed in and out by one too many people; cycled through one too many machines and car engines.
He already knew that he wanted to get married in the morning if he could, though Eiri might not want that. Could people get married in the morning? It wasn’t like either of them had to have three (or more) hours of hair and make-up done to them before they were ready to walk down the aisle…
As he stripped off his yellow and blue checked pajama bottoms to get into the shower, he started to think about some of the other things Eiri might want or might not want for their special day. What kinds of flowers would he want? What foods? Where and when would he want it to take place?
There were just so many things to think about, so much to decide, and Shuichi was really hoping that he wouldn’t have to do it all by himself, though he really didn’t anticipate that Eiri was going to volunteer his help. Shuichi decided to give his lover the benefit of the doubt and assume he would want to help plan his own wedding, though this was new territory for both of them so anything was possible.
The vocalist didn’t know what to expect because they hadn’t really discussed any of it together, past wanting to be legally married instead of just having a commitment ceremony. Admittedly they had an excuse for being preoccupied, things had gotten pretty hectic soon after Eiri proposed. To Shuichi at least, his lover falling down the stairs and breaking a bone were not exactly the most welcoming set of events that could have been waiting in the wings to usher them into this newest chapter of their lives, but he wasn’t really complaining. Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise?
The singer made a note to make sure he sat down and talked to his lover about planning “the big day” when he came home from work. He certainly didn’t want to do it alone, and then turn into a “monster groom”, constantly fretting about anything and everything wedding related and not actually being able to enjoy it. It was most likely a long way off anyway, and that next summer would more than likely be ideal for it. Bad Luck’s touring schedule for the following year was still written in butter so to speak, and he made another note to bring it up at work. At least that way they could plan the wedding around anything band related he might want to avoid. He would also be certain that he wasn’t going to be shanghaied at gunpoint into another of K’s crazy publicity stunts just as he was getting ready to walk down the aisle.
Thirty minutes, two hair appliances and a half dozen different types of product later Shuichi found himself standing all but nude inside his closet, picking out clothes.
‘Clothes…’
They were another thing he had been thinking about in regards to the wedding. He so badly wanted to make his parents proud, but he couldn’t help imagining what he’d look like walking down the aisle in a frilly white dress. Of course he didn’t really want to wear one, (even he wasn’t that into cross dressing) but the look on everyone’s face would almost be worth making a joke out of one of the most important days of his life. Perhaps he could start out in a dress, then once he saw the shock on everyone’s faces and had a good laugh, he could rip it off to reveal the tux underneath?
‘Must be the performer in me…’ he thought.
Grinning, he relegated that little item to the back of his mind and concentrated on the things at hand.
Since he’d heard it was supposed to be cold he picked out, and put on, one of his favorite orange sweaters along with a pair of dark gray cords. They weren’t going to be doing much at the studio since it was the first productive day back from their studio break, so he decided to dress comfortable rather than chic.
When Shuichi sat down on the bed to put on his dark colored socks, his lover groaned and slowly rolled over to face him. Much to Shu’s dismay, Eiri’s ribs weren’t bothering him too badly anymore and he’d found a way to sleep, more or less, on his sides, while still elevating his leg. Three fluffy pillows and a roll of duct tape had fixed that problem quick fast and in a hurry. What did Eiri care if he looked like a complete idiot with pillows taped around his cast? Pain medication and desperation could do strange things to a man…
“Why do you get up so bloody early?” Eiri mumbled, his disheveled head of blonde hair half buried under the red duvet. “I hate when you wake me up... Selfish little brat…”
Shuichi smiled because what his lover had said, when translated from Yuki language into ordinary Japanese, meant, “I don’t like to go back to sleep knowing you aren’t here anymore, my precious pet.”
Okay, he may have added the endearing term of affection onto the end, but the general message was still there.
He leaned over and planted a kiss on the part of his lover’s head that was showing. He got another grumbling, unappreciative noise in response. He tried to convince the novelist that he was still dreaming.
“I wasn’t here,” he said in a mysterious dream/ghost voice, the kind that nobody ever actually hears in their dreams, yet people use anyway…
“This was all a dream.”
Eiri smiled into the covers, but only one corner of it was visible to Shuichi. The singer assumed his partner was making a face at him.
“If only that were true, Brat,” He murmured as Shu got up to leave,
“If only that were true.”
*****
A brisk walk and a short, but crowded train ride found Shuichi standing outside the NG building, contemplating how and when he was going to break his and Eiri’s news to his band and crew. He was going to need to take nearly a month off in total during one of the busiest seasons of their year and he was dreading the responses he was going to get.
First thing in the morning would most likely be the best time, while people were less coherent, and because Lunch would be too late. He (Or Hiro or K) would spill the beans by then.
After lunch, Hiro normally ran sound checks on his equipment and then laid down tracks in studio 2 while Shuichi was in 2B doing vocal recording, if he had any to do. Fujisaki disappeared as well, usually to his afternoon classes, so unless he was going to sing the news to them over the intercom system, after lunch was pretty much a fruitless time to consider.
Near the end of the day, their team started to break down as jobs were accomplished and less and less people were needed, so that was out too.
He stilled his mind and steeled his will, gathering up all the confidence his tiny body could muster and headed inside.
~~~
“You’re what?!” Fujisaki gasped in astonishment. Out of their entire group, he was probably the most conservative and Shuichi knew that he would have at least a few negative comments to make about his and Eiri’s engagement. Before long though he’d give up and go along with everyone else, as he usually did. Shu didn’t really care what the youngest member of their group thought, as long as it didn’t get in the way of their progress as musicians, or their relationship as friends.
“He said they’re getting married. Is your hearing starting to go on you, Old Man?” Hiro shot back snidely. It was a common joke among them that, while he was the youngest in a physical sense, Suguru was actually the oldest mentally, and thus they liked to tease him by calling him Old Man, Old Fart, and using honorifics generally reserved for upper classmen and older people.
“Old Man!?” The young keyboardist fumed. “I’ll show YOU who the old man is!”
Suguru was about to start across the table after a cackling Hiro (who was crab walking away to safety on his backwards facing wheelie chair) when K grabbed him by the collar of his blue angora sweater.
“Enough!” He boomed loudly in English. They all froze in place, Shuichi included although he hadn’t done anything wrong.
K looked around the room and then set his angry gaze on Hiro.
“Shame on you Hiroshi. You should know better then to provoke him like that!”
“Yeah!” Suguru quipped, still in K’s grasp.
“We wouldn’t want the Old Man to break a hip…or…an ass cheek, hopping over the table now would we?” K continued leisurely, “Who would compose our songs? Who would complain to us about everything we do wrong? Who would entertain us by farting himself to sleep after eating [1]Nato on rice?”
And with that the fight was on.
The blonde, the red head and the green haired youngster ended up brawling together in a big heap on the floor, comments such as “Take that, you Geezers!” and “Hurry up and die of old age, so we can burn you!”floated up to Shuichi’s ears. The singer sighed futilely. He rested his head on his outstretched arm while he waited for the trio of idiots to kill each other or, at least, come to some sort of stale mate.
“He bit me on the ass with his dentures! That is it!-” Hiro screamed as he bite Suguru back on the leg. The kid squealed in pain and thumped K on the head.
Shuichi just sighed again. And people called him hyper and stupid…
When he chanced to look up again the doorway fell directly into his sightline, and standing just outside, was a rather glum looking Ryuichi.
Shuichi got up immediately and, first stepping over the pile of idiots on the floor, headed out to talk with him.
“Hi Sakuma-san. What are you doing down on this floor?”
He knew the older singer was seeking him out, since there was no other reason for him to be in the basement studios. Nittle Grasper had several state of the art studios and sound booths near the top floor that were for their use and their use only. They would never have any need to venture below ground for anything, least of all Ryuichi. The oldest of the three ‘Grasper legends tended to be coddled constantly by several assistants, Mr. Sakano, Tohma and handled with kid gloves in general from the moment he stepped into the building to the moment he left it. How he was there, alone, was a mystery unto itself.
“Hi Shu-chan. I asked someone where you all were hiding so I could come and seek you.”
Shuichi got the Hide ‘n Seek joke and smiled.
He must have asked someone other than Tohma where they were, since Tohma was, at this point, being left out of the info loop, as per Eiri’s request.
Because Shuichi’s marital news had already reached K’s ears, he had taken control, and decided that it would be best for him to tell Suguru somewhere other than their normally appointed meeting room. They were forced to meet downstairs in one of the basement recording booths, usually given out to the freshly signed contract groups and lower level studio musicians. They weren’t bad rooms, but they weren’t great either.
K was taking great pains to see the news did not get out prematurely.
Their old meeting room had been bugged before (They had their suspicions on who it had been) and K hadn’t had a chance to check the new room since their return from the studio break. He was not going to have this particular news leaking out to the press before he had found a way to leak it to them himself and use it to their advantage.
“Oh I see. Well what did you need to see me about?”
A strange look came over Ryuichi’s face.
“Can we go somewhere else to talk? I don’t feel very good down here.”
“Sure we can Ryu, where would you like to go.”
“I don’t know. Maybe for some coffee?”
Ryuichi wanted coffee? This had to be something serious.
“Uh, well I suppose we could do that.” He glanced over his shoulder to see what was going on in the room he had left. The three men where now dozing off in a big puppy pile in the middle of the floor, oversized grins plastered on their faces.
‘Idiots’ he thought.
“So can we go? You won’t get in trouble right?”
“No I don’t think I will. Just let me grab my stuff and we can leave.”
He had taken to bringing his disguise gear with him everywhere, inside his backpack. Though he rarely needed it at work, it still paid to have it for moments like these when he needed to pop out of the building for something without security.
In the early mornings when the train was packed tight with middle age salary men who had no clue who he was, nor had the time to care even if they did, things tended to be a lot easier on him. However some mornings could find his train overly populated with teenaged students who would know exactly who he was and it was in those instances that he was glad he had his hat and sunglasses with him at all times.
He and Ryu headed upstairs, disguises consistency of a hat and pair of sunglasses in their hands. Shuichi found it somewhat odd for his older friend to be so quiet, when he was normally quite loud and rambunctious. It was like he was hiding something, and was afraid to say anything in case he let something slip while they were still in the building.
At the front doors, they were stopped by two bulky men in gray suits, each one sporting a curled transparent ear piece. It was a normal occurrence for them to be there, guarding the entrance, but because Ryuichi was with him, Shu didn’t automatically get the customary “Good luck.” nod of their heads. Before Ryu could leave, the guards had to first check with Tohma.
It was when they went to contact the blonde executive that the older singer finally spoke.
“You know Shuichi, I don’t really feel like coffee after all.”
And he turned them both around and headed back the way they came, leaving the guards baffled.
“Ryuichi, is there something bothering you? You’re acting…”
Shuichi wanted to use the word normal, but somehow it didn’t seem right. He didn’t want to offend Ryu.
“Old?” Ryuichi offered as they continued walking, deeper and deeper into the building. “We can’t talk here. Tohma will find out and I don’t want that. I don’t want him to send me back to…” He shivered, the reverberations traveling down his arm and into Shuichi’s hand, “…her.”
Shuichi was bewildered. This was the shortest, scariest and, strangely, most coherent conversation he’d ever had with Ryuichi and they hadn’t even left NG yet.
“Are we heading for one of the back doors then?” the pink haired vocalist asked quietly as they passed by a group of sound techs, looking over a programming grid and speaking excitedly.
Ryu didn’t say anything, and pulled him down yet another hallway. How he knew where he was going so well was beyond Shu, who was basically just hanging on for the ride. It was as if Ryuichi was honing in on some pulsating beacon, buried somewhere near the outskirts of the building. Then, finally, he found the door he was searching for. The two of them headed inside the well lit meeting/storage room, picking their way over a few boxes and the odd chair on their way over to the window. Ryu opened it and gracefully hopped out first, as though he did this frequently. He looked around and then turned to wait as Shuichi, with somewhat less elegance, followed suit.
They put on their hats and sunglasses before walking down the cramped back alley and towards the bustling street. The minute they hit the crowded sidewalk, Ryu’s composure changed visibly. He picked up his head, straightened his back and the innocent, carefree smile he normally wore crept back onto his face. Whatever this was about seemed to be directly affected by Tohma’s presence, or at least, his control over the NG building and those that monitored its many hallways and rooms.
The two of them walked side by side through the mess of people and soon came to a decoratively dim, yet frenzied coffee shop. There was an art to the controlled chaos that went on behind the counter of the cafe, as people made drinks, shouted clipped orders to each other and heralded customers over to pick up their completed beverages. Ryu went over to one of the cashiers and ordered two iced chai-tea lattes while Shuichi tried to keep his head down and avoid being recognized. The older singer paid with his MasterCard and they went over to one of the quieter corners of the café to wait for their order number to be called.
Neither of them spoke while they waited and despite the noise level and activity in the room, an uncomfortable silence clung to them, chafing against their skin.
Shuichi really wanted to know what this was about, but he didn’t want to try and talk to Ryuichi about it in the café. There was a park not even two blocks from where they were, and he decided to suggest it.
“Do you want to go talk in the park near here?”
Ryu nodded. “Sure.”
Four minutes later, Ryuichi heard their number being called and he went over to grab the drinks. He handed one to Shuichi, who thanked him, and they headed out towards the park.
They walked in silence down the street, side by side, sipping their lattes. Each lost in his own thoughts until they walked through the low, black steel and gray brick fence that surrounded the neatly kempt downtown park.
They headed briskly out of the open, towards a more secluded area, cut off in part by a decoratively trimmed growth of snow bushes [2] and partly by a young growth of conifer trees. They found a bench and sat down on.
“Shuichi…”
Shu didn’t even have time to say anything before Ryu threw himself around the singer and burst into tears; Their half finished drinks hit the ground.
“I just can’t take this anymore! I can’t be alone. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can’t do anything... I miss Tatsuha!”
Shu patted the singers back and comforted him as best he could while checking around to make sure that nobody could see them. Shu doubted that was the whole reason Ryuichi was upset, but he knew that whatever problems he was having were not helped by Tatsuha being gone.
“Its okay Ryu, you’re not alone. You never have to be alone if you don’t want to be. I’m here, Tatsuha will be here soon and Tohma-”
“Tohma doesn’t love me anymore.” Ryuichi spat bitterly as he wiped his eyes from around Shu’s shoulder.
“He says he does, he says I hurt him…but it wasn’t my fault.”
Ah, so there was the real reason they had to travel so far from NG to talk. Tohma.
Shuichi had never heard any of this before and about all he knew was based on rumors that were traded amongst Nittle Graper fans. None of them was based on any actual evidence, or at least, so he had previously thought. It was just assumed by Nittle Grasper’s fans that, because of how they two of them had acted on stage and in interviews, that Ryu and Tohma were lovers, or had been years ago. Shuichi had always sort of know that there was something to the rumors, but he had never been so bold as to ask Ryu or Tohma about it. Tohma hated him as it was, so that would be all he needed. Another reason for him to want to tear up Bad Lucks contract…
“He couldn’t choose me and so I had to hurt him, even though I didn’t want too! He was making us suffer and my heart couldn’t take it.”
“What do you mean he couldn’t choose you? Who did he have to…”
Oh. Ryuichi meant that Tohma hadn’t been able to choose between him and Yuki…
“Ryu I’m really sorry, I didn’t even think about …”
The brown haired singer sniffed and sat back onto his own side of the bench.
“It’s not your fault…but ever since…ever since that day I fell apart, he’s been calling me…trying to tell me that he’s sorry, that things should have gone differently and to give him a second chance.”
Tohma and Mika-san where expecting a baby, why would Tohma want to have Ryuichi back as a lover? Why couldn’t he just be happy with his wife and their child? Tohma made absolutely no sense to Shuichi. Never had and never would. Eiri had told him once that Tohma hid a lot of things from a lot of people. It must be hard to put up so many false fronts and never really take them down. To have to hide so many things from the world, to never know to whom he belonged.
Despite Tohma’s vast wealth, talents, lucrative business sense and power, Shuichi pitied him. And he always would, because Tohma had no one to share any of those things with. To Shuichi, it seemed that Mika-san couldn’t care less about him half the time, Eiri had since outgrown his fawning and doting, and Ryuchi… well, Ryuichi was a whole different story all by himself. Shu was certain that Tohma was a very lonely man and that if he needed anything at all, it was hugs and a lot of therapy.
“Ryu, I really hope that you can talk with him about this. Maybe what you two really need is to go to a therapist together and get her to work some of this out with you?”
Ryuichi froze up, his face going steely when Shuichi mentioned “therapist”.
“I don’t like them. Not one bit. Therapists do nothing, but make mine and Kuma’s heads hurt for days and days and days.” He held his head to emphasize.
“They aren’t so smart you know…”
Shuichi could see that he had touched on something he shouldn’t have.
“It was only a suggestion, you don’t have to go. I know Eiri’s therapist helped him a lot…”
“I know Shuichi, I really do know.” The singer stared intently at Shuichi. His eyes were those of a much older man and his expression was weary and battered.
“I appreciate that you’re being such a good friend through...all of this.” He pulled Shuichi close into a hug.
“I just want you to know, that I don’t resent your Novelist-san for what happened, it wasn’t his fault either. He needed Tohma too, just like me. I guess he just… needed him more.”
Ryuichi never ceased to amaze. He wasn’t quite his normal self, in fact this was the youngest Shuichi had ever felt around Ryuichi since they had met, but yet he still managed to maintain his childlike ambivalence to the world around him, that sort of Je ne sais quoi[3] he was famous for.
They got up from the bench, hugged a second time and slowly made their way back to NGpro.
Shuichi was sure Tohma and K had figured out that both he and Ryuichi were gone by this point, and he wasn’t looking forward to the earful they had coming, but he was still glad Ryuichi had chosen to talk to him. He wasn’t sure what exactly he was going to be able to do, or how much he would be able to help out, but he felt better knowing he was at least given the opportunity.
It was at that point that a thought struck him. He knew exactly what he could do!
“Hey Ryu? How would you and Kuma like to come and stay with Yuki and I for a few days?”
Ryuichi’s face lit up. “Really?!” He squealed happily. There was the Ryuichi Shu was used to.
“Sure! I know you’re lonely right now and missing Tatsuha, but you’re more than welcome to come and stay with us if it will make you feel better.”
“Oh Shu-chan that would make me sooo much better! I know it would! Yay, I can’t wait to tell Kumagoro!”
Ryu began to run back to NG, his problems all but forgotten as The Child took him over.
Shuichi trotted along behind him, and thought about what Yuki was going to say when he showed up at home with Ryu in tow.
This wasn’t going to be pretty, but he’d be damned if he was going to let Eiri keep him from doing what he decided was absolutely necessary at this point.
Mind made up, he set a determined grin on his face and raced to catch up with Ryuichi.
*****
[1] http://www.thesneeze.com/art/natto/dripping300_304.jpg
Nato is a dish made of fermented soy beans that are mixed with mustard and soya sauce. Commonly eaten plain or over rice as a snack or as an addition to the morning meal. It can only be described as chunky brownish vomit hunks covered in brown snot with a horrific stench to match. Commonly enjoyed by older Japanese people (Though there are lots of young people that like it too). Tends to make the person eating it VERY gassy afterwards. It has a weird nutty ass taste that people either hate or love.
Very rarely will a westerner be able to watch someone eat this dish without vomiting, let alone attempt to sample it…
(I added that last part in to be funny, but also truthful. My Obi (Grandma) is Japanese and eats a little of this stuff with some rice almost every morning because apparently it’s super good for you…I eat fast and get out of there before she breaks it out, so she isn’t tempted to get me to eat some, and so I don’t lose my recently enjoyed breakfast all over the kitchen watching her scarf it back…)
[2] Japanese snow bush- The green and burgundy foliage is spotted with white, giving the plant the appearance of having been snowed upon. An easy to grow tropical adaptable to sun or light shade. Typical height 5-7’
For a Picture (you nerds…it’s just a plant…j/k): http://www.almostedenplants.com/shopping/images/wpeDC1.jpg
[3] “Je ne sais quoi” is a turn of phrase in French which means literally “I don’t know what”. It’s used out of it’s literal context in English and other languages as it’s own entity, to sometimes describe something, with some fancy flair, that you are unsure of. Such as a trying to detect a missing ingredient in a food. You know something’s missing, you just don’t know what. Je ne sais quoi. I think the phrase sums up Ryuichi quite nicely. something’s missing, we just don’t know what it is! (lol his brain! J/k)
AN: My parents split for good and over the spring and summer I have been dealing with a ton of emotional shit that I can’t even begin to describe here, so let’s just say my life is taking a different, more grown up turn and I am much happier for it now. I finally finished this chapter (the first half of which was written nearly six months ago…)
And things are getting a little more exciting. Can you feel this thing coming to a head yet? No? Is it still just an itchy red bump under the skin? I don’t know why I just used a pimple analogy there…Well anyways, the foot notes are long enough on this chapter without me flapping my big yap so I’ll wrap this up by saying don’t worry about me, don’t worry about this being finished. All good thing take time! It WILL get finished!…eventually.
For MM.org Reviewers:
To doyle20:
Thank you for the perfect score and don’t you worry about the Porsche…that’s coming up soon! ^_~
To Anon221:
Id just like to point out that while 59 hit’s a mere ten days after I posted the most recent chapter (the hits are over 200 on it now), in comparison to the first one might look bad, I have to point out that those are individual hits, from individual computers. 1 hit per person, per chapter. On this site I have around 200 faithful, individual, readers, (Not including readers from other sites this is posted on) my story has the most hits of any Gravitation fan fic on this site (over 22000), as well as the most reviews (124 + over 80 on other sites), so I don’t think I’m “writing something bad” at all. Despite the long waits between chapters, I have 200+ readers that faithfully check to see if I’ve written and who like the story enough to continue to read it. I get more hits on one new chapter than most people manage to get on their entire stories, so I honestly think you are the one who doesn’t know what they are talking about…
To Belle ange:
First off, thank you for riding to my rescue when Anon221 decided to flame me. I appreciate your enthusiasm and your choice of words was wonderfully frank! Now, I am glad you think my Christmas eve plans are going to come out right, I shall do my best to give you the Zani awkwardness you are craving from me! It should be interesting indeed…
For Gurabite Reviewers:
To happy-noon:
Thanks so much for the great comments! I am glad my story is managing to keep you entertained! As I have stated countless times, Eiri is like my alter-ego and in the story I am as much a part of everything he does, as he is a part of everything I do. If we stepped outside the bounds of reality for a few seconds and got to talk, I think we’d have a lot to say to one another, and it’s those things that I try to make sure I write into him, in this piece. He is, in my mind at least, an evolving character, dynamic in every sense of the word and fully fledged out in beautiful 3-D. I’m always glad to get comments on Eiri’s thoughts and feelings towards things, and the way he evolves because in a sense people are also commenting on me and my life as well. It’s a really cool feeling.
I am looking forward to the Christmas visit also. That was a kind of spur of the moment thing I just threw in there because I thought, “Hell why the fuck not!”. Needless to say it should be veeery interesting for us all…