Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Gravity Well ❯ Gains and Losses ( Chapter 6 )

Chapter 6: Gains and Losses

“The truth is, I don't hate all vampires,” Andy said. “A lot of them are decent enough. They don't kill, or turn people against their will. It's the ones like Miranda I can't stand.”

“How can you tell the difference?”

“It's pretty easy,” Andy replied grimly. “Like those two tonight; they aren't inclined to take no for an answer.” He glanced at Tohma and looked away. “And as you've learned, once a vampire starts taking you, it gets real hard not to do the same to others. Especially people you love, because you're already attracted to them.”

Tohma frowned. “You're telling me I need to stay away from my friends.”

“If you can't control yourself around them…” Andy left the rest unsaid.

Tohma stood up and walked to the window. He peeked out through the curtains, lost in thought. Why was he so attracted to Ryuichi? He had never felt a sexual attraction for him before, so why now? Was the blood-lust alone awakening this desire in him, or was it something else?

“When was the last time you got laid, Tohma?”

Tohma started at the question. “I beg your pardon?”

“You said you didn't have a lover. Maybe the reason you're having trouble resisting your friend is simpler than you think.”

Tohma turned to stare at Andy. “You think I'm sexually frustrated?”

Andy shrugged.

“You really haven't been with a vampire,” Tohma said softly. “Miranda…” he paused. “She knows how to satisfy me.”

“It's not the same thing.” Andy shook his head. “She can make you have an orgasm, but most humans need more than that. Humans crave intimate contact. Vampires can have sex, but they don't need to do it, not the way humans do.”

“Did Miranda have sex with your lover?”

“I don't know. I never asked him.” Andy ran his fingers through his hair. “Tohma, I think you need to have sex with someone. Someone you don't really care about. If you can do it without drinking, it might be easier to be around your friend. You might not lose control again.”

“Are you volunteering?”

“What?”

Tohma crossed his arms. “When was your last time?”

Andy blinked at him in surprise. “Not since…” He hesitated. “Not since Tony left. I haven't been able to…” he trailed off.

“Do you find me attractive?”

Andy swallowed. “You know you are.”

“That's not what I asked.” Tohma moved back to sit down on the bed opposite Andy. “I know I'm good-looking. I asked if you find me attractive.”

Andy leaned back slightly. “That's not why I offered to help you.”

“You're avoiding the question.” Tohma held Andy's gaze.

Andy swallowed again. “Yes,” he whispered. “But I wasn't offering to…” He dropped his eyes.

Tohma leaned across and put his hand on Andy's knee. “Nevertheless, it's a good suggestion. And at this moment, there are not a lot of people that I trust. Will you go to bed with me, Andy?”

Andy looked up to meet his eyes. He drew in a long breath and let it out slowly. Then he nodded.

“I appreciate your trust, Andy,” Tohma said, “but you must promise me something first.”

“What?”

“If I start to lose control, promise me that you won't let me drink from you. Use whatever force is necessary.” Then he smiled. “Without killing me, if possible.”

Andy smiled back. “I promise.” He looked around the room. “This is hardly the most romantic situation.”

Tohma stood up. “Romance is in the mind.” He pulled Andy to his feet. “Close your eyes.”

Andy closed his eyes.

Tohma put his hand on Andy's cheek and lifted his lips to Andy's mouth. He kissed him very gently, letting the kiss linger for a long, intimate moment. “Now, you do the same thing,” he said, and closed his eyes. He felt Andy's hand cup his cheek and a moment later, Andy's lips touched his in a soft, sensuous kiss.

Tohma opened his mouth and licked Andy's lips. Andy's lips parted and his tongue stroked gently against Tohma's. They began to kiss more deeply and Andy's hand slipped behind Tohma's neck. His other arm encircled Tohma's shoulders and pulled him close. Excitement began to stir in Tohma. He put his arms around Andy's waist.

They undressed each other, standing between the beds. Neither spoke. Tohma closed his eyes as Andy began to caress him, savoring the feel of powerful but gentle hands sliding over his skin. It had been a very long time. He moaned softly as Andy drew him onto the bed, on his knees. Andy knelt behind him and put his arms around Tohma, his lips and tongue moving lovingly along Tohma's shoulder.

Andy took him and Tohma gasped with joy. Ecstatic pleasure welled up in him and his head fell back against Andy's muscular shoulder. He cried aloud as Andy moved in him, driving his hard member into Tohma's body with relentless urgency. Tohma's orgasm went far beyond what he experienced with Miranda. Andy's gasps of pleasure echoed his own and the joy of their mutual climax filled Tohma with a very deep, very human satisfaction.

“Oh god!” Andy whispered. “I had forgotten what it was like.”

“I hadn't,” Tohma answered. He kissed Andy on the cheek. “Perhaps that is why resisting Ryu has been so hard for me.”

Andy sank onto his heels and Tohma sank down with him.

Andy stroked his fingers through Tohma's hair. “You have the loveliest hair. But the color is so un-Japanese.” He kissed Tohma on the neck and shoulder. “How do you feel?”

“Wonderful,” Tohma sighed. “And not thirsty.” He laughed softly. “When I first saw you, I thought that you were not my type. So what part of myself do I believe now? The part of me that still wants more of you, or the part that feels no hunger for you?” He turned around and climbed into Andy's lap, wrapping his legs around Andy's hips. “I think I'll go with the part that wants more.” He put his arms around Andy's neck and kissed him passionately.

Andy put his hands under Tohma's bottom and lifted him up so he could put himself back in. He began thrusting into Tohma, slowly at first, but he gradually began to move faster and faster, until they were both gasping and groaning aloud with pleasure. Tohma moved with him, abandoning himself completely to unbridled passion. They came together, clinging to each other and shuddering with orgasm.

“Thank you, Tohma,” Andy moaned softly.

“I should thank you,” Tohma murmured in response. “I was mistaken. I had forgotten what it was like. I think I can face my desires now, and control them.”

“I would pay any price to help one person escape her. I have never asked and never expected anything in return. What you have given me…” Andy paused and gazed directly into Tohma's eyes. “Maybe I can learn to forgive myself for being unable to help Tony.”

“I am glad we have helped each other.” Tohma glanced at the clock and sighed. “But, I had better get back to the hotel before my manager feels compelled to track me down.”

“I'll go with you, just to make sure you get there safely.” Andy smiled. “I've seen your manager.”

- - - - - - - -

Tohma slept better that night than he had slept for a long time. He took a long, hot shower in the morning and felt wonderfully refreshed. He called room service for a light breakfast and then hauled out his keyboard to practice while he waited. A knock at his door shortly afterward seemed a little too quick for room service, so he was not surprised to find a man in an inexpensive sport coat and jeans waiting outside.

“May I help you?”

“Tohma Seguchi?”

“Yes?”

The man held up a policeman's badge with his picture on it. “I'm Sergeant Jim Watts of Chicago PD. I would like to ask you a few questions.”

“Of course.” Tohma let the policeman in and closed the door behind him. “How may I assist you?”

“Do you know this man?” Sergeant Watts handed Tohma a Polaroid snapshot.

Tohma stared at the snapshot and his heart sank. The picture was of Andy. It was a morgue photo. Andy was dead. For a moment, all Tohma could think about was how it had felt to be in Andy's arms. Then his heart turned to ice as cold fury took over. The paleness of Andy's bloodless skin made the bite marks stand out clearly. Andy had been killed by a vampire.

Tohma handed the picture back. “His name is Anderson Keyes. I met him two days ago. I'm a producer and he wanted to talk to me about a singer. We never got to specifics. I don't think he's a native of Chicago.”

Sergeant Watts took notes in a small notebook as Tohma spoke. “That explains why he had your business card in his pocket. Unfortunately, he didn't have any other ID on him.”

“May I ask where he was found?”

“In the alley behind this hotel. That's how we found you so quickly.”

“I see.” Tohma trailed his fingers across his keyboard, producing a brief, mournful riff. He debated whether or not to tell the policeman where Andy had been staying. They would undoubtedly find out eventually, and if anyone there remembered Tohma, it would make him look guilty for not mentioning it. Better to be safe. “I had a meeting last night with Mr. Keyes at the motel where he was staying. He accompanied me back here in a taxi. He came into the lobby, but that's where we parted. I believe the motel was called Lakeshore Inn, but it was not near the water.”

Sergeant Watts nodded as he jotted the information down. “I think I know the place. Will you be in town for a while, Mr. Seguchi?”

“We are scheduled to leave for Toronto in two days, but you can always reach me through my production company. The information is on my card.”

“Can I have another one of those? The other one is evidence, I'm afraid.”

“Of course.” Tohma gave him a card and Sergeant Watts tucked it into the breast pocket of his jacket.

“You don't have any idea who might have wanted to kill Mr. Keyes?”

“None at all, Sergeant,” Tohma lied calmly. “He seemed like a perfectly ordinary fellow.”

“They always do.” Sergeant Watts stuck his notebook into a side pocket and held out his hand. “Thanks for your time, Mr. Seguchi. We'll be in touch if we need anything else from you.”

Tohma shook his hand. “I'm sorry I could not provide more information.”

“Oh, here, take this.” Sergeant Watts produced a business card of his own. “If you think of anything, please give me a call. That's my direct line, so you can leave a message there.”

Tohma took the card and followed the policeman to the door.

“Thanks again, Mr. Seguchi.”

“You're welcome, Sergeant.”

Tohma leaned against the closed door and began to shake. The effort of restraining his rage until the policeman had gone left him quivering. He clenched his fists. He had lied to Sergeant Watts. He knew exactly who had killed Andy: Miranda Collins.

- - - -

Tohma met with the others in one of the hotel conference rooms that afternoon.

“I have called this meeting because I have arrived at an unfortunate decision.” K, Noriko and Tetsuya-san stared at him with worried eyes. Ryuichi looked confused. “I am afraid I must cancel the remainder of the tour, at least as far as Nittle Grasper is concerned.”

“What?!” K bellowed.

“I don't understand!” Noriko exclaimed.

“Why?” Ryuichi's eyes welled up with tears.

“My reasons are personal, but I have no other choice. I am very sorry.”

K slammed his hands down on the table and shoved himself to his feet. He yanked his pistol out of its holster and pointed it at Tohma's head. “Goddammit Tohma! I won't stand for this! First you're sneaking off at all hours and now you're breaking up the band?” He cocked the pistol. “You tell me what's going on right now!”

“No.” Tohma's calm demeanor made K waver. His hand holding the gun drooped. “As I said,” Tohma continued, “I am sorry, but this is something I must do.”

Ryuichi chewed on Mr. Bear's ear. Huge tears slid down his cheeks. “Tohma doesn't want to be with Ryuichi anymore?” The heartbreak in his voice brought tears to Tohma's eyes.

“I don't want to leave you Ryu, but I have to.” Even now, with all the others present, Tohma could feel the sweet desire brought on by Ryuichi's scent. Hunger stirred in him, but he suppressed it. He was never going to give in to that weakness again. “K, I want you to go with Ryu and finish the tour. I'll get some backup keyboardists to fill in.” K stared and Ryuichi began to whimper. “Nori-chan, it is time you and Tetsuya-san went home to become a normal family. I've already made plane reservations for you.”

“But Tohma!” Noriko began.

Tohma interrupted her. “It has to be this way, Nori. I'm sorry.”

She exchanged a worried, unhappy glance with her husband.

K folded his arms. “And what about you?”

“I have some business to attend to. When it's finished, I'll return to Japan.”

“That's it. That's all you're going to tell us?”

“That's all I'm going to tell you.” Tohma looked around at them, but his eyes finally came to rest on Ryuichi. “I am sorry to do this to you Ryu, but I know K will take good care of you. Trust him and do as he tells you, and you'll be all right.”

Ryuichi sniffed. Mr. Bear's ear was getting very soggy. “O… Ok. If you say so, Tohma.”

“Are you sure this is what you want, Tohma?” Noriko asked softly.

“Yes, it is.”

“Very well.” She squeezed Tetsuya's hand. “We'll go home.”

“Thank you.”

K frowned. “So you've finally decided to stop pretending you can be both a businessman and a musician, eh?”

Tohma sighed. “You might say that. You should leave for Toronto right away. The backup musicians will meet you there so you can rehearse before the first concert. Nori, your plane leaves tomorrow morning. I do not expect to see any of you again before you leave.” He stood up. “Now, if you will excuse me, I would like to speak with Ryu privately for a moment.”

He waited until the others filed out. K paused at the door. “I'll wait outside.” Tohma nodded and K closed the door.

Ryuichi clutched Mr. Bear to his chest as Tohma approached him. Tohma put his hands on Ryuichi's shoulders. “Ryu, do you remember when I bit you?”

“Uh huh.”

“I'm very sorry that happened. I don't want you to think about it anymore, all right?”

Ryuichi blinked in confusion. “Should Mr. Bear not think about it, too?”

“Yes, Mr. Bear shouldn't think about it either.”

“Ok.” Ryuichi's lower lip quivered. “Mr. Bear doesn't want Tohma to go away.”

“I know.” Tohma kissed Ryuichi gently on the cheek. The smell of his blood was intoxicating, but Tohma ignored it. He had only to think of Andy to find the will power to resist his thirst. “I will miss you more than I can tell you. But this is very important. Only something very important would take me away. You understand that, right?”

Ryuichi nodded.

“Good. I know you will have fun singing, so think about that, and we will see each other again.”

Ryuichi managed a small smile. He resumed chewing on Mr. Bear's ear as Tohma led him to the door. K gave Tohma a long, hard look, but he said nothing as he took Ryuichi in tow. Tohma shut the door and returned to sit at the conference table. Now that his plate was clear, he had only one issue to resolve. Miranda Collins would pay dearly for taking Andy's life.

- - - - - - - -

Everyone was gone. Tohma had taken Noriko and Tetsuya to the airport that morning. K and Ryuichi had left that afternoon. Now Tohma sat by himself on the edge of his bed looking at the elegantly handwritten card inviting him to a certain room at a particular hotel. Miranda's invitation. Tohma still felt cold inside. He had only known Andy for two days, but his death hurt nonetheless. Tohma wasn't sure why he was so certain Miranda had killed him. Andy had been killing vampires for years. There were undoubtedly many vampires who despised him. But the timing and location of his murder were too coincidental. There was no doubt in Tohma's mind. He put on his hat and coat and went to meet Miranda.

Miranda was wearing a revealing, pale lavender silk gown. It was very becoming on her. She embraced him tightly, pressing her soft, shapely body against his.

“I missed you, Tohma,” she murmured into his ear. She nibbled his earlobe. “I should spend more time with you.”

“Tell me something, Miranda,” he murmured back. “Why did you kill Andy?”

She released him so abruptly that he stumbled backward. “Don't mention his name!” she snapped, her voice losing its seductive purr. “He deserved to die. He was always following me, frightening off my companions and interfering with my life.” She crossed her arms and scowled at him.

“He was doing that before. Why wait until now to murder him?”

She looked away. “Because he went too far this time.”

“Oh?”

“Because he touched you!” she screamed suddenly. She flailed him with her fists. “Your scent was all over him! You're mine and he took you!” She flung her arms around him. “You belong to me!” She sobbed against his shoulder.

“I don't belong to anyone but me, Miranda.” He caught her by the wrists, pulled her arms from around his neck and pushed her away. She stared at him in shock. “You started this when you took his lover. Now you think he's done the same to you, but it isn't true. I was never your lover and I never will be.”

“I love you, Tohma,” she whispered. “I know you want to be with me. I can taste it in your blood.”

“What you taste is your own desire.” He turned away. “I don't want to see you anymore.”

“No!” She caught him by the shoulder and spun him around. “You will always be with me. No one loves you as much as I do. You do belong to me!” She pulled him into her embrace and pressed her open mouth against his neck.

“I asked Andy to make love to me.”

She froze, her teeth not quite puncturing his skin.

“I like women,” Tohma continued quietly, “but I would rather be with another man. I don't love you, Miranda.”

She pushed him away, shaking her head slowly.

“When I came here tonight, it was my intention to put an end to you.” Tohma pulled a wooden stake from under his coat. “I even brought this. But I think now there is no point.” He met her tear-filled eyes. “Perhaps your feelings for me are genuine, and so you deserve some consideration.”

“Tohma…” she whispered.

“This must be the end, Miranda.” He slipped the stake back inside his coat. “Find someone else to love. If we meet again, I will kill you.”

She collapsed to her knees, sobbing, her face buried in her hands.

Tohma regarded her in silence for a moment and then left her, heartbroken and alone.