Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Gravity Well ❯ Decision Time ( Chapter 7 )

Chapter 7: Decision Time

“I returned to Japan,” Tohma concluded. “I stayed in seclusion for about six months, until all trace of the craving had left me.” He gave Eiri a hard look. “It wasn't easy. Even today, I still remember the way it made me feel, when I took Ryuichi. You know what I'm talking about.”

Eiri looked away. He still did not want to admit the truth. Not to Tohma. “I don't need to do it.”

“Don't you?” Tohma's skeptical look made Eiri flush with anger. “You drank from Shuichi this morning. Why?”

Eiri's flush deepened. “Why are you asking me this? It's none of your business!”

“Just answer me, Eiri!” Tohma spoke sternly. “Did he ask you to do it, or were you so tired from feeding him that you needed it?”

Shock momentarily silenced Eiri. How could Tohma possibly know that? “It's getting harder to sustain his appetite,” Eiri admitted reluctantly. “I eat as much as I can, but my body can make blood only so fast.”

“So I suspected,” Tohma said. He leaned forward. “Eiri, you have to stop feeding him. If you don't, he might kill you. He will almost certainly injure you.”

“But you said if he drinks from anyone else, he'll turn!”

“He's going to turn whether he drinks from someone else or not, Eiri,” Tohma said. “Think about it! He hardly eats any more. He's living on your blood almost exclusively. When he can't get enough of that, he'll turn to others and that will be the end. There's nothing you can do but save yourself. You need to stop feeding him before he kills you.”

“You say that like it's easy,” Eiri said softly. “I… I want…”

Tohma sighed. “You want him to do it.”

Eiri closed his eyes. “You say you understand, but do you? You said you didn't love that woman, Miranda. So you don't know what it's like to do it with someone you love.”

“Perhaps not,” Tohma agreed quietly, “but I have heard this story before. I know how it ends.” Tohma slipped off the couch and dropped to his knees in front of Eiri. He took Eiri's hands gently in his. “I don't want to lose you, Eiri. I can't help Shuichi, but I can help you. I know you care about him, but he is too far gone. There is nothing you can do for him. You must protect yourself.”

Eiri stared down at Tohma's hands clasping his own. “I can't just give up on him. Is there no way I can bring him back?”

“Only if he stops drinking blood and I don't think he can do that.”

“You should not underestimate Shuichi.” Eiri met Tohma's eyes. “He is more resourceful than you know.”

“Then speak to him, if you think it will do any good.” Tohma released Eiri's hands and stood up. “But don't say I didn't warn you. What is most important is that you must stop feeding him. Promise me that you will.”

Eiri looked up to see honest concern on Tohma's face. “I love Shuichi, Tohma. I will help him if I can.” Eiri stood up so he could look down at Tohma. “And I will stop feeding him, but not just because you tell me I must. I will stop because I've known for a long time now that I should.”

“Whatever the reason, Eiri, as long as you do it.” Tohma sounded relieved. He turned to go, but then he stopped and spoke over his shoulder. “Mika does not know about Miranda, or Andy. I would rather she did not know.”

“Of course.”

“Thank you. Please consider carefully what I have told you, Eiri. You are very important to me.”

“I know. I will think about it.”

“Good.”

Eiri stared at the closed door long after Tohma departed. Tohma's story shocked him, although much of the shock came from the fact that he simply hadn't known. How had Tohma managed to keep such a secret for so many years? And now Eiri was forced to admit that Tohma was right. Eiri had to break Shuichi's habit or they would both be lost.

- - - -

Shuichi arrived home from work radiating excitement and sexual energy. He bounded into Eiri's study and flung his arms around Eiri's shoulders, kissing his ear, cheek and neck in rapid succession.

“You smell so good tonight,” Shuichi murmured, his lips brushing against Eiri's neck. “I'm so hungry!”

“Wait a second, let me save,” Eiri replied quickly. He saved his file and closed his laptop. Then he grasped Shuichi's hands and pulled them gently apart. “We need to talk first.”

“Do we have to?” Shuichi cried plaintively as Eiri stood up. “I'm starving!”

“Then I'll make dinner. I think you should eat real food.”

“I'll have something after!”

Eiri frowned at him. “It's not good for either of us. You know that.”

Shuichi's eyes narrowed suspiciously. “I thought I smelled Seguchi-san! He's trying to break us up again, isn't he?”

“No, he's not,” Eiri replied. “He's worried about you.”

Shuichi looked skeptical. “I don't believe you. Tohma doesn't care what happens to me, as long as it doesn't affect you.”

“That's true enough.” Eiri put his arms around Shuichi. “But anything that happens to you affects me, so he does care. Listen, Shuichi. Tohma knows a lot more about vampires than we do. We should take his advice.”

“I'm not a vampire!” Shuichi protested.

Eiri stroked his hair. “You're getting close, though, and that's what Tohma is worried about.”

“I am not!” Tears welled up in Shuichi's eyes. “I just need you, that's all!”

“What about when you tried to bite Fujisaki?”

“But I didn't! And anyway, I was just angry.” Shuichi pushed away, wiping the tears from his eyes with the back of his hand. “And it hasn't happened again. I don't want anyone but you. I only need you!” He looked up at Eiri and his eyes filled up with tears again. “Don't you love me anymore?”

Eiri sighed. “That has nothing to do with it. I'm only thinking of your welfare.”

“If you cared about me, you wouldn't torment me like this!” Shuichi grabbed the front of Eiri's shirt. “We both want it. Why is it wrong?”

The hurt and need in Shuichi's eyes, and the heartbroken pleading in his voice, broke Eiri's will. His own desire swept the last remnants away as he embraced Shuichi. “All right,” he whispered. He kissed Shuichi deeply and then dropped his forehead onto Shuichi's shoulder. Shuichi's mouth immediately pressed against his neck, his warm tongue stroking eagerly over Eiri's skin. Eiri closed his eyes with a sigh as arousal stirred in him. Shuichi bit him and began sucking hungrily, and Eiri hardened in response. He tightened his arms around Shuichi, pressing his erection against Shuichi's hip.

Eiri let Shuichi drink until growing exhaustion began to combat with his aching desire. “Stop now,” he finally whispered.

Shuichi stopped immediately. “I'm sorry!” he exclaimed. “I took too much!” He frowned unhappily. “You taste so good, it's hard to stop.”

“That's why,” Eiri said tiredly, “we can't do this anymore.” He looked into Shuichi's eyes. “I let you drink too much and it's killing me.”

Shuichi's eyes went round. “But if you would drink too, you'd be all right. Everything was fine when you were drinking too.” He caught Eiri's face in his hands and pulled Eiri's mouth to his throat. “Take some and you'll feel better. Then we'll have dinner. Real food! And I'll eat a lot, I promise.”

Eiri tried to resist the urge. He didn't need to do this. The thirst did not drive him the way it did Shuichi. But the staggering exhaustion was winning. He needed to do something or he would be unconscious for days. Feeling helpless, he opened his mouth and licked Shuichi's neck. The taste of Shuichi's skin finished him. He bit down and began to drink.

The pleasure and relief were exhilarating. Eiri sucked deeply, filling his mouth with Shuichi's blood and swallowing it in hungry gulps. Shuichi's soft moans of excitement fueled Eiri's appetite and his desire. He pulled Shuichi to his knees as he drank, undoing his own trousers with one hand and freeing his erection. Eiri took one last deep suck and then pushed Shuichi onto his back, yanking his pants down. He lifted Shuichi's legs into the air and moved up against his bottom, putting himself in with a hard, urgent thrust.

Eiri took him hard and fast, doubly aroused by the dual pleasures of both feeding and drinking Shuichi. Shuichi cried aloud as Eiri fucked him, his back arching up and his hands pressing into the floor.

They came together, gasping out their pleasure in unison.

Shuichi sat up on his elbows. “Is this really so bad?” he asked softly. He looked up at Eiri with enormous eyes. His pupils were so dilated almost none of the color showed.

Eiri leaned forward and kissed him. “Sex with you has never been bad, Shu-chan. You turned me on long before you met Satoshi Seido.” Eiri sat back and zipped up his trousers. “Now you promised to eat a big dinner.”

“I will!” Shuichi rolled to his feet and hopped out of the room, pulling his pants up as he went. “I'll even cook!” he said brightly.

“I'll cook,” Eiri corrected. “I'm not in the mood for your blackened Cajun-style `it's not that burned' cooking.”

Shuichi whirled around in mid-hop and stuck out his tongue. “Wretch!”

Shuichi kept his promise, but only in the relative sense. He ate more than he had been lately, but it was still far less than what he would have eaten when he and Eiri first met. Eiri decided not to make an issue of it. It was a step in the right direction. The real failure was his own inability to resist the seduction of blood-drinking. Eiri found himself staring at the bruise on Shuichi's neck. Tohma was right, damn him. They would never be able to stop dinking from each other as long as they were together.

- - - - - - - -

Shuichi woke up feeling really good, which was surprising considering how little sleep he'd gotten. He always had trouble sleeping at night these days, but instead of wandering around the house trying not to wake Yuki, he'd made love with Yuki most of the night. Yuki was still sound asleep, sprawled on his stomach with his left arm handing off the bed. He looked adorable. And delicious. Shuichi had to fight the urge to drink from him as he slept. Yuki never took as much from Shuichi as Shuichi took from him, so he really did need to be careful. But careful was not the same thing as giving it up entirely, it just meant doing without every now and then.

Shuichi put on his clothes and went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea. The tea did not taste anywhere near as good as Yuki did, but he drank it anyway. He needed something in his belly to take the edge off his hunger. It would be a long day until he could see Yuki again that night. He left the house quietly and ran all the way to the studio.

Hiro was already there, playing riffs from their new song on his guitar.

“You're early,” Shuichi said. Then he noticed the dark bags under Hiro's eyes. “What did you do, stay up all night?”

“Yeah, I did,” Hiro admitted with a smile. “I was on the phone with Ayaka and we ended up talking all night.”

“You love birds!” Shuichi laughed. “Why doesn't she just move in with you? Your phone bills must be outrageous.”

“Ayaka is not as easy as you, my friend,” Hiro replied archly. “You may be willing to spread your legs for the first pretty face you see, but she is a lady.”

“You calling me a whore?” Shuichi demanded in mock indignation.

“If the fish-net stockings and red stiletto heels fit…”

“Bastard!” Shuichi cried, trying not to laugh. He made a grab at Hiro, but somehow he was the one who ended up in a headlock.

Hiro gave him noogies.

“Stop that!” Shuichi struggled to break loose, but he was laughing too hard to put much effort into it.

“Not until you apologize for impugning Miss Ayaka's honor.”

“Her honor?!” Shuichi exclaimed. “I'm the one who got insulted!”

“It's no insult to speak the truth,” Hiro stated virtuously. He twisted his knuckles into Shuichi's scalp again.

“Cut it out!” Shuichi squirmed vigorously until he was able to pull his head free. His hair was all standing on end.

“You look a sight,” Fujisaki remarked.

Shuichi hastily smoothed his hair. “When did you get here?”

“Just now.” Fujisaki grinned at them. “Lover's quarrel?”

“Oh, shut up!” Shuichi grumbled. “Let's rehearse.”

“That's why we're here,” Fujisaki replied. He sounded smug.

Shuichi glared at him. “Is there something you want to tell us?”

Now Fujisaki looked smug. “Well, K did just mention to me that advance sales of our new album are already exceeding expectations. He's thinking of booking a series of TV spots to promote it.”

“TV?” Hiro and Shuichi blinked at each other.

“Yup, TV.” Fujisaki made it sound like he was personally responsible. “So we better get on with the rehearsal. We don't want to look like idiots on national television.”

“Why not?” Hiro shrugged. “We have before.”

Fujisaki frowned. “It would be better if you took this seriously, Nakano-san.”

“I do.” Hiro smiled and strummed a discordant note. “Shall we begin?”

They rehearsed for six hours before breaking for a quick lunch. Shuichi made a show of eating his rice ball so Hiro wouldn't say anything. It quieted his stomach, but it did nothing to assuage his growing thirst.

“Do you want the rest of my rice ball, Shuichi?” Hiro asked. “You still look hungry.”

“No, I'm fine. I want to save room for dinner.”

“Is Yuki-san making something special?”

“Sort of.”

Hiro studied him. “Are you ok, Shuichi? You've been a little withdrawn since you tried to beat the shit out of Fujisaki.”

“Hey!” exclaimed Fujisaki.

“I'm fine,” Shuichi said quickly.

“That's good.” Hiro smiled. “I was worried you might be having headaches from K bashing your brains in.”

“You worry about him!” Fujisaki grumbled. “I'm the one who was nearly choked to death.”

“You don't seem any the worse for it,” Hiro replied lightly. “And since Shuichi says he's fine, it's time to get back to work.”

Fujisaki continued to grumble to himself as they resumed playing.

- - - -

After work, Hiro walked Shuichi part way home.

“You know, Shuichi,” Hiro said, “neither you nor Yuki ever told me what was wrong with you. He made it sound like you were, well, addicted or something.”

“Oh, it was nothing like that!” Shuichi tried to sound casual. “I was having trouble sleeping, that's all.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose sleep deprivation could make you act pretty weird.” Hiro didn't sound convinced. He stopped and clasped Shuichi by the shoulder. “You know you can count on me if you need anything, right?”

“I know.” Shuichi squeezed Hiro's hand where it rested on his shoulder. “You're still my best friend.”

“Just don't forget it. See ya.” Hiro set off toward his apartment and Shuichi continued on his way home.

Yuki was sitting on the couch in the living room with one leg tucked up beneath him when Shuichi arrived. He looked tired. Shuichi crawled onto the couch beside him and put his head in Yuki's lap.

“Do you want me to make dinner, Yuki?”

“In a minute. We need to talk.” He stroked his fingers through Shuichi's hair. “I can't let you drink from me anymore, Shu-chan.”

Shuichi sat up. “Are you sick?” He stared at Yuki worriedly.

“Yes.” Yuki put his hand over his face. “It doesn't matter how much I sleep, I never feel rested anymore. I can't keep feeding you.”

“But if you drank, too…”

“No!” Yuki shouted. “It has to stop! We're just hurting each other.” He looked into Shuichi's eyes. “I love you, Shu-chan, but if you can't stop, we can't see each other anymore.”

Shuichi stared at him. “But you promised you would never leave me again!”

“Do you expect me to keep that promise until you kill me?” Yuki answered harshly.

“But we can make this work!”

“No we can't!” Yuki shoved him away and stood up. “I mean it, Shuichi. Unless you promise you'll stop, I'm leaving. I'm not going to kill myself for you.”

“This is all Tohma's doing!” Shuichi cried. “You believe him more than you love me! He wants you for himself and he'll do anything to break us up!” Shuichi was screaming. Heartbreak was tearing him apart. “Why don't you just admit you want him and not me?!”

“That isn't true…” Yuki began, but Shuichi wasn't listening. He jumped off the couch and stumbled blindly for the front door, sobbing hysterically.

“Shuichi, wait!” Yuki grabbed his arm, but Shuichi jerked himself free.

“I hate you!” he screamed. “You never loved me! I am nothing but a good fuck to you!” He yanked the front door open. “You can just fuck yourself from now on!” And he raced out into the fading light.

“Shuichi!”