Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Gravity Well ❯ True Love ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter 8: True Love

Shuichi ran without paying any attention to where he was going. Half-blinded by tears, he finally staggered to a halt in the doorway of a ratty little noodle shop. The smell of the food almost made him gag. Nothing tasted right anymore, except Yuki. All he wanted was Yuki. He crouched down against the wall, buried his face in his hands and sobbed helplessly.

Nothing was going right! It didn't matter if their album was a huge success and sold more copies than Nittle Grasper. If he lost Yuki, what was the point? It was all Tohma's fault! If he hadn't interfered, Yuki would not have decided that what they were doing was wrong. They had been happy. Shuichi clenched his fists. He was sick and tired of Tohma always meddling in his life. Every time things started to go right, Tohma would step in and mess it all up.

And now Yuki wanted to break up.

Shuichi wrapped his arms around his middle. He was so hungry his stomach hurt and he felt nauseous. The smells wafting through the door of the noodle shop weren't helping. He needed Yuki. He needed blood.

“I'm not a vampire!” Shuichi whispered to himself.

Liar! a voice answered from the back of his mind.

Shuichi wiped the tears from his eyes.

You're drinking Yuki's blood! the voice whispered. It sounded like Tohma. What else does that make you?

Shuichi stared straight ahead, blinking away the last of his tears. For the first time in a long time, he forced himself to think about what had happened with Satoshi Seido. He replayed every incident in his mind, and thought about what happened afterward with Yuki. And then he jumped to his feet in shock. It really was Tohma's fault! Shuichi's blood drinking had not gone over the edge until after Tohma killed Satoshi and Yuki had saved Shuichi's life by feeding him blood.

“Tohma made me this way!” Shuichi exclaimed aloud. “If he'd left Satoshi alone, maybe I would have gotten over it, the way Yuki is.”

Passersby stared at him and Shuichi fell silent. Had Tohma known this would happen? Yuki said Tohma knew a lot about vampires.

Fury replaced the burning hunger in Shuichi's belly. “Goddamn you, Tohma!” he screamed. “You did it on purpose!”

He dashed out of the doorway, not caring who he knocked into as he ran headlong down the street. It was late, but he ran to the N-G building anyway. He went straight up to Tohma's office, racing past startled executives and studio musicians. Tohma's secretary was already gone, which suited Shuichi just fine. He burst through the door into Tohma's office without slowing down.

But when he saw Tohma sitting behind his desk with his feet up, talking on the phone, Shuichi skidded to a stop.

Tohma regarded him with mild surprise. He spoke into the phone. “I'll have to call you back, Mika-chan. Someone just came into my office.” He put the phone down. “What can I do for you, Shindou-san?”

“You can get the hell out of my life!” Shuichi replied in a deadly calm voice. “I'm sick of you always messing things up. You made Yuki break up with me and now I have nothing left except what you turned me into.”

“What I turned you into?” Tohma lifted an eyebrow. “I think it was Satoshi Seido who did that.”

“But you didn't have to kill him! It didn't get bad until you killed him!” Shuichi stamped forward and planted his hands on the desk, leaning across to stare threateningly at Tohma.

Tohma did not smell afraid. He gazed at Shuichi calmly. “Perhaps that's so, but it's not my problem. Protecting Eiri Yuki is my only concern.”

“You bastard!” Shuichi screamed. “You could have helped me, but you didn't want to! You wanted me to die!” He jumped up onto the desk and grabbed Tohma by the lapels of his coat. “You can't have Yuki either, you son of a bitch!” He dragged Tohma forward, ready to rip his throat out and bathe in his blood.

“If you take me, there's no turning back,” Tohma replied calmly.

“Stop it!” Shuichi shook him like a rag doll, knocking Tohma's hat to the floor. “It's already too late! Don't lie to save your miserable life!”

Tohma still did not smell afraid. His calmness was maddening. “There's hope until you die, Shindou-san, but if you drink my blood, it will kill you.”

“So why stop me? That's what you want, isn't it?” Shuichi lifted Tohma halfway out of his chair. It felt like he weighed nothing at all.

Tohma met his gaze evenly. “Does it matter to you what I want? What do you want?”

“You know what I want!” He shook Tohma again. “Yuki! I only want Yuki! And you took him from me!”

“You drove him away.”

“Aaagghhh!” Shuichi screamed in anguish and flung Tohma away.

Tohma tumbled over the edge of his desk and fell to the floor with a grunt. Shuichi expected him to run away, but Tohma just climbed to his feet and stood there.

“You cannot be both a vampire and Yuki's lover, Shindou. I will not allow it. Choose.”

Shuichi stared at him. “What are you saying?” he whispered.

“Choose to be either a vampire or Yuki's lover. Choose to drink my blood or never drink blood again. I don't care which you choose, but I will not allow a vampire to steal Eiri's life.”

Shuichi turned slowly toward him. “How can you stop me if you're dead?” He licked his lips. The scent of Tohma's blood filled his nostrils. He could see a trickle of blood running down Tohma's forehead from under his hair.

Tohma smiled slightly. “I killed Satoshi Seido and he was a full vampire, and old. What makes you think I'm in any danger from you?”

His calm confidence finally broke through Shuichi's rage and Shuichi stared at him in dismay. I'm a fool! Shuichi realized. He could have killed me the moment I came in. Suddenly trembling, Shuichi slid off the desk and backed toward the door. Tohma watched him go without a word. Outside the office, Shuichi broke into a run and fled the N-G building in a panic.

Choose?! Shuichi thought as he ran. How can I choose? I can't stop craving Yuki's blood, so how can I choose to be just his lover? Fresh tears spilled from his eyes.

“I'm a vampire!” he gasped aloud. “And I can never see Yuki again!”

- - - - - - - -

The pounding on his door made Hiro sigh. Only Shuichi ever pounded on his door like that and then it was usually because he'd had a fight with Yuki. Hiro opened the door and was not the least bit surprised to find a devastated Shuichi slumped on his knees outside. Hiro leaned against the doorframe.

“Did you have another fight with Yuki-san?”

Shuichi nodded. He looked up at Hiro with tear-filled eyes. “I need you help, Hiro,” he whispered.

“I'm not speaking to Yuki for you.”

“It's not that.” Shuichi climbed to his feet.

Hiro frowned. Shuichi looked emaciated. “Well, come in then,” Hiro said. “You look like you need some dinner.”

“I can't eat,” Shuichi replied heavily.

“Don't give me any of that lovesick crap!” Hiro said sternly. “You look like a supermodel. You're eating.”

Shuichi shook his head. “No, Hiro, I can't.” He looked desperately unhappy. “I'm addicted,” he said quietly.

“Addicted? To what?”

Shuichi hung his head. “Blood.”

Hiro stared at him. “What?!”

“I've been… drinking Yuki's blood.”

“What the hell?” Hiro felt like someone had abruptly replaced his sane, simple world with some carnival mirror reflection. “What are you talking about?”

“Do you remember when I attacked Fujisaki, and you thought I was trying to bite him? I was.” Shuichi moved past Hiro and slumped down on the edge of his bed. “It started when we were on tour. That man who was always asking me out, Satoshi Seido, he was a vampire.” Shuichi stared at the floor.

Feeling stunned, Hiro closed the door and knelt down in front of Shuichi. “Please tell me you're making this up.”

Shuichi began to weep. “I wish I was,” he said, “but it's true. Yuki… was letting me… drink from him. Sometimes he would drink from me, too. But I need so much now I was starting to hurt him.” Shuichi dropped his face into his hands. “He said I had to stop or I couldn't stay with him anymore. But I can't stop! When I smell him, I can't control myself!”

Hiro stared at him. “Shuichi, there's no such thing as vampires.”

“Yes, there is. You're looking at one.” Shuichi's large eyes looked bruised. “Satoshi Seido attacked me dozens of times while we were on tour, and then I started to bite Yuki.” He flushed with shame. “But when Yuki found out what was happening to me, he forgave me. He let me drink his blood.” Shuichi's voice dropped to a whisper. “And then he started doing it too.”

Hiro could not imagine why Yuki had allowed such behavior. He always seemed so serious and self-centered. “He must really care about you.”

“Not anymore.” The pain in Shuichi's voice nearly brought tears to Hiro's eyes. “He said he wouldn't risk his life for me and that I had to stop biting him. But I can't! He makes me too hungry.” Shuichi began to weep again. “He said he would leave to keep me from doing it anymore. So I left instead.”

Hiro moved to the bed and put his arm around Shuichi's shoulders. “Well, Shuichi, he has a point, if you're drinking too much.”

Shuichi sobbed hysterically. “I love him so much, Hiro, I'll do anything! Please help me! Help me break this habit!”

Hiro held Shuichi as he wept. Break the habit? If Shuichi was a vampire, how could blood-drinking just be a habit he could break?

“I'll help you if I can, Shuichi, but how can you stop? Don't you need it?”

“Tohma says I can stop.” Shuichi wiped his face on his sleeve. “He said there's hope until I die.”

“Tohma said that?” Hiro was surprised. Tohma didn't seem like the type who would want to help Shuichi. But if it was possible… “You know what? I think you need to get away. You need spiritual guidance.”

Shuichi looked up at him uncertainly.

“That's right.” Hiro nodded decisively. “You need to go to a temple where you can meditate and pray, and eat as much as possible. I'll take you to Ayaka's.”

“Do you think she will want to help me?”

“Of course she will. And we won't tell anyone you're there.”

“But what about the album?” Shuichi said doubtfully.

“The tracks are all recorded; they just need re-mixing. Fujisaki and I can do that.” Hiro stood up. “It's settled. You're going to Ayaka's first thing in the morning. I'll call her after dinner.” He grabbed Shuichi's hand and pulled him to his feet. “Right now, you're eating something.”

“I really don't think I can,” Shuichi said, but his faint smile was hopeful.

“Not even a plain rice ball?”

“I'll try.”

- - - - - - - -

Eiri was worried. This was not the first time Shuichi had run out, but never before had he sounded so crushed. And he had been starving. Eiri could still smell the sharp scent of his hunger. What might Shuichi do in such a state? What if he attacked someone? Eiri decided to go look for him.

He drove around the neighborhood at random, slowing down to look into shadowed doorways. There was no sign of Shuichi. When his cell phone rang, Eiri nearly drove up onto the curb. He pulled over to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Eiri, it's Tohma.”

“What do you want? I'm busy right now.”

“I thought you should know: Shindou came to see me.”

“He did?” Eiri was dismayed. “You didn't hurt him, did you?”

“No.” Tohma sounded tired. “Eiri, I think you should give up on him.”

“Why? What did he say?”

“It's not what he said, it's the way he acted. I don't think he's coming back.”

“You don't know that!” Eiri gripped the phone so hard his hand began to ache. “Shuichi will come back to me, he always does.”

“I hope for his sake he does not.”

“What do you mean?”

“I won't let him hurt you, Eiri. It's as simple as that.”

“It's my life, Tohma, not yours!”

“And I won't let you throw it away. Remember that, if he comes to take you.”

“Fuck you!” Eiri jabbed the disconnect button furiously. His hands were shaking. Tohma was out of line. Eiri could take care of himself and he could take care of Shuichi, too. It was no one's damn business but his.

Eiri returned home at dawn, after a fruitless search of the streets around the N-G building. That had seemed like the most logical place for Tohma to have encountered Shuichi, but there was no sign of him. Eiri also searched the park, knowing that Shuichi often went there when he needed to think. But in the end, he returned to the house alone, hoping that Shuichi would have come back to make up.

He wasn't there.

Eiri stood in the middle of the living room, clenching and unclenching his fists. He missed Shuichi and he was worried about him. At least while Eiri had been feeding him, Shuichi had shown no real interest in drinking from anyone else. But without Eiri's blood, what would he do? If Shuichi drank from someone else and Eiri lost him, would he have anyone to blame but himself?

And then Eiri smacked himself in the forehead angrily. “What am I thinking?” he cried aloud. “He'll go to Nakano!”

Eiri rushed back to his car and drove to Hiro's apartment building, getting lost twice on the way and cursing furiously. He took the stairs three at a time and pounded on the door thunderously. No one answered. He pounded again.

“Nakano-san! Are you home?”

The door to the apartment next door opened partway and an old woman peeked out timidly.

“May I help you, young man?”

“I'm looking for your neighbor, Mr. Nakano.”

“Oh, he left for work some time ago.”

“Do you know if he had a visitor last night?”

“He might have.” The old woman opened the door a little wider. “But people are always coming and going on this floor. I can't always tell.”

“Was there someone with him when he left this morning?”

“I don't think so, but Mr. Nakano always leaves so quietly. He's such a nice boy.” She beamed at Eiri. “Sometimes he brings me my groceries.”

Eiri forced an answering smile. “Thank you for your time.”

“You're welcome.”

Eiri returned to his car, but he didn't start it. He called Shuichi's cell phone for about the thousandth time, but it was still turned off. Then he called the front desk at the N-G building. Neither Hiro nor Shuichi had reported to work that morning. Eiri stared out the window at the passing traffic.

He really did leave me, Eiri thought. He felt a surprising sense of loss. Shuichi's companionship had somehow become very important to him. He did not want to live alone anymore.

“Goddamn you, Tohma! Why did I listen to you?” he whispered. “You don't know everything. We could have worked it out. If Shuichi turns now because I listened to you, I'll never forgive you. Or myself.”