Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Sorry ❯ Chapter 1 ( Chapter 1 )

“Sorry”

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation nor any of the characters. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Story summary: AU. Ryuichi? Or Eiri? That is the question. Who will Shuichi chose? (Shuichi/Ryuichi, Ryuichi/Tatsuha, Shuichi/Eiri)

Chapter summary: Instead of being on tour with his husband, Shuichi, Ryuichi laid up at home sick, but nobody seems to be able to get hold of him. What's he up? And what will it mean for his and Shuichi's relationship?

Warning: Language, OOC

Sources: Based on the song “Sorry” by Madonna

 

***

 

Chapter 1

 

(Friday night - Tokyo)

 

The apartment was silent and falling into shadow as the sun slowly dipped below the horizon. By the front door was a pair of shoes that dwarfed the smaller sneakers next to them. Hanging in the closet was a black leather jacket that, like the shoes, miniaturized the others surrounding it. A black helmet sat on the floor next to the door. In the living room, a smoldering cigarette lay in the ashtray next to several spent butts. Two coffee mugs sat on the coffee table. One was empty and the other was a quarter full. A newspaper opened to the entertainment section sat next to the mugs. There was a quarter page color photo of a man in tight leather shorts, knee high black heeled boots and a matching vest strutting across a stage, his body glistening with sweat. His face was scrunched, his head thrown back in the midst of a song. The caption under the picture read, “Shindou Shuichi singing `Bird' at the San Jose McEnery Convention Center in San Francisco, California for Fanime Con”. The headline above the picture in bold black font, read, “Bad Luck hits it big in the US”. A light on the answering machine behind the sofa blinked “2” in bright, vivid red.

 

Down the hall, two hushed voices emanated from the bedroom.

 

“-round of anime fests in the US and then ending with one in Toronto. He won't be back until Tuesday at the earliest.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah. I talked to him last night.”

 

There was the sound of rustling sheets.

 

“Don't take this the wrong way, Ryu, but, why didn't you go? I mean, the only way people outside Japan'll know who you guys are is through these Anime conventions.”

 

“I know,” Ryu said.

 

“I mean, you were supposed to go, right?”

 

“We were.”

 

“So why'd you pull out?”

 

Ryu sniffed dramatically. “Because I was sick.”

 

His partner chuckled deeply. “Really?”

 

“Yep.”

 

There was more rustling and a cry of ecstasy shattered the silence of the apartment.

 

“I love you, my honey Ryuichi.”

 

Ryuichi giggled. “I love you too…Tatsuha.”

 

In the living room, a portrait hanging in a black frame on the wall above the stereo system slipped from the nail it was hanging on, dangling precariously for several long seconds before it came crashing down. It hit the radio with a muffled “thump”, teetering off to land on the lip of the table, seesawing back and forth like a teeter-totter before gravity reached up and snatched it. The picture landed face up on the floor. A loud tinkling of glass echoed through the living room. A thick crack split the glass in two, dividing the smiling, happy lovers.

 

The blinking red light on the answering machine changed from “2” to “3”.

 

*

 

(Pittsburgh, PA)

 

With a heavy sigh, Shuichi cradled the receiver. He bit his lip, staring at the phone thoughtfully. He jumped when a hand landed suddenly on his shoulder. His hand over his racing heart, Shuichi glared at his friend. “Dammit, Hiro! Don't do that. You scared the shit out of me!”

 

“No answer?” Hiro chuckled as he walked across the room and plopped down into a chair.

 

Shuichi sighed and hung his head. “No,” he said, shaking his head, “and I called three times.” Lifting his head, he stared at the redhead with large pleading eyes, glistening with tears. “You don't think anything happened to him, do you?”

 

“Doubt it, Shu. He's probably just sleeping, or something. I mean, Nittle Grasper had to pull out of doing the convention tour because he was sick.”

 

“I know.” Shuichi rounded the coffee table and sat down on the sofa, clasping his hands between his knees. He hunched over staring miserably at the floor, but not seeing its beige carpet. “But that's why I'm worried, ya know? I mean, because he is sick.”

 

Hiro chuckled. “Don't worry Shuichi. Ryu's a big boy. He can look after himself.”

 

Shuichi sighed. “Yeah, but still-!”

 

“Come on,” Hiro told his friend chuckling standing up. “Fujisaki's probably wondering where we are.”

 

Instead of following, Shuichi stared at the suite phone, biting his lip. There were dozens of reasons why Ryuichi could not be answering the phone. Like Hiro said, he was sick and was most likely sleeping and could not hear the phone. Or maybe, he was feeling better and stepped out to get some fresh air, or something.

 

But then his thoughts turned darker.

 

Something could have happened to Ryuichi while he was out. He could have gotten into an accident! That would explain why he has not been able to get hold of him for the last hour. Just thinking about his lover hurt and lying on the side of the road bleeding to death froze his blood and stopped his heart cold.

 

Oh, God! Ryu! No! Ryuichi could not be hurt. He could not! They have literally been through hell and back this past year and have finally gotten their relationship back on track. Fate could not be that cruel!

 

Hiro studied the worried expression on his best friend's face. “Shu,” Hiro sighed, breaking into his thoughts. “Shuichi,” he said more forcibly when his friend continued to ignore him. “Shuichi!”

 

Shuichi turned glassy, panic stricken eyes towards the sound of his friends voice, but he could not get the vision on his boyfriend bleeding and broken out of his head.

 

“If you're that worried,” Hiro told Shuichi, his voice soft, “why don't you call Mr. Seguchi and have him check up on Mr. Sakuma?” he suggested.

 

Call? Yes. Yes. That was a good idea.

 

Hiro sighed as walked across the room to get Shuichi's cellphone. He speed dialed their boss's number and handed the ringing phone to his partner. “Here. When you find out you're worry over nothing,” he told the smaller man as he walked across the room towards the door, “and that once again letting your over active imagination run away with you, you can find me downstairs getting breakfast with Fujisaki.”

 

Shuichi nodded, not hearing a word his friend said. He chewed his lower lip, waiting to be patched through to Mr. Seguchi.

 

Hiro opened the door and peered over his shoulder at his friend as the singer paced the room, a worried, troubled expression on his face as he pleaded with their boss to go over to the apartment and check up on his husband, a sympathetic expression on his face. He did not envy his friend in the least.

 

He sighed and stepped out into the hall, shutting the door behind him

 

*

 

(Tokyo)

 

Tohma pulled into the parking lot of one of the city's most expensive and luxurious high-rise condo complexes and parked in a shadowed area. Turning off the ignition, he pocketed his cellphone and car keys. Unlocking his car door, he swung the door open; being careful not to hit the car parked next to his, and stepped out in the cool evening air. Shutting the door behind him, he turned and stopped dead. His eyes frozen on the couple standing just inside the front door of the condominium. Stupefied, Tohma could do nothing more than watch as his best friend stood making out with a man who did not have pink hair or those astonishing violet eyes, a man a good half foot taller, a man definitely not Shindou Shuichi.

 

He was so astonished…shocked…dismayed- he was not sure how he felt at the moment. His mind was such a jumbled mess by the scene he was witnessing that he failed to notice a black compact car parked across the street from the condominium. Nor did he hear the insistent clicking coming from the bushes not too far from where he stood, stunned into disbelief and silence.

 

Tohma watched as the two men pulled away from one another, panting heavily. The “other man” kissed Ryuichi chastely on the lips one last time before striding across the parking lot and hopping on the back of a sleek motorcycle. He slipped on a black helmet, righted the cycle and toed up the kickstand. He pulled out a key from the pocket of his leather jacket, placed it in the ignition and turned it. The headlight flared to life, a long, narrow beacon in the falling twilight. A second later, a loud rumble roared through the parking lot.

 

“Love you, Tatsuha!”

 

Tohma snapped his head around, staring at his old friend in shock, before he was able to school his expression. What was going on? What the hell was Ryuichi doing? Was this why he wanted to pull out of the convention tour? He watched as Tatsuha blew Ryuichi a kiss before pulling out of the parking lot and vanishing into the darkness. Smiling, Ryuichi turned and walked back into the lobby, disappearing from Tohma's sight. Tohma clenched his hands into fists. Anger like he never felt before surged through him. He was not sure who he was angrier at, Ryuichi, Tatsuha, Shuichi…or himself.

 

What was he supposed to tell Shuichi?

 

*

 

There was a long, heavy sigh over the line. “I knew it.”

 

Tohma blinked, astonished, tearing his eyes away from the condominium high-rise. “What? Knew it? What're you saying? Don't tell me you knew Eiri!”

 

“No, I didn't know,” snapped Eiri angrily. He settled back in his desk chair and took a long drag from his cigarette. He blew out a long, thin stream of grey smoke. “I knew he was seeing someone but I wasn't sure who it was he was seeing.” He reached out for the ashtray and dragged it across the desk. Tapping off the ashes threatening to fall onto his new pair of pants, Eiri sat back in his chair, hearing the leather squeak as he moved. “He's always had this thing for that idiot, Sakuma, but I never expected…” He sighed heavily.

 

What the hell was his idiotic brother thinking getting involved with a man who was practically married? He never would have guessed Tatsuha to be that reckless, or stupid.

 

For that matter, what the hell was Sakuma doing? He had a good thing going with Shindou. There were tons of people who would give anything to be in his shoes. Not only was Sakuma considered a god by his fans, but he was a talented actor and songwriter, had an incredible voice, was gorgeous, one of the wealthiest people in Japan and not to mention, he was dating an equally, if not more, talented man. Shindou was worshipped and loved by millions of people all over the world. He had the body of a god and the voice of an angel. How could Sakuma even think of looking else where?

 

Something about this scenario seemed familiar somehow and that was when he remembered. Awhile back, he remembered reading something in the tabloids about Shindou catching his boyfriend cheating on him. Instead of dumping him, the guy decided to give him a second chance.

 

No, Eiri took it back. Tatsuha and Sakuma were not the morons here. That honor fell to one Shindou Shuichi. What the hell was he thinking? Or not thinking as the case may be. Why the hell was he even with that idiotic moron who carried around a stupid pink bunny as if he were still five years old? If he were with him-

 

“What was that, Eiri?” Tohma asked, snapping him out of his thoughts.

 

Damn, he thought, his face growing warm. He must have said that out loud. “Nothing,” Eiri grumbled. “Look, what're you telling me this for, anyway? This's got nothing to do with me. I want nothing to do with that bizarre love triangle.”

 

Tohma smiled knowingly. “Come now Eiri. You know that's not true,” he teased.

 

There was silence.

 

“You know as well as I do that you've had a thing for Mr. Shindou for quite some time now,” Tohma prodded.

 

The keyboardist managed to drag his brother-in-law to one of his concerts awhile back where Bad Luck was the opening act. From the moment the writer laid eyes on the lithe lead singer, Tohma knew his brother-in-law who was known to be a cold, heartless, stoic, womanizing bastard had been obsessed. Though, of course, Eiri denied it every chance he got.

 

“You're delusional,” Eiri stated coldly as he crushed his cigarette out in the ashtray.

 

What Tohma, surprisingly given who he was, was unaware of was that his brother-in-law had been infatuated with the chameleon-like pop star long before Tohma was able to “blackmail” him into going to that concert several months back. What Tohma also did not know was that if Eiri had not run away with his tail tucked between his legs, it would be him right now with the little pink haired punk on his arm all over the tabloids and not that idiot Sakuma Ryuichi. He would never forgive himself for blowing that one chance he had with Shuichi.

 

“Am I?” Tohma asked sweetly, sitting back in his plush, leather seat. He heard his brother-in-law grumble angrily under his breath. His smile grew.

 

“Why the hell would I have `a thing' for some pint sized baka who couldn't find his way out of a paper bag? Okay, grant you, he is cute and has one of the most amazing voices I've ever heard, but his lyrics suck and just watching him makes me tir-” Too late he realized he said something he should not have. He cursed as he heard Tohma's snicker.

 

“Eiri-”

 

A sudden chime swept through the apartment, causing Eiri's heart to leap out of his chest and into his mouth. Cursing his own jumpiness, the writer tried to calm his racing heart and stood up, pushing away from his desk. “Look, I gotta go.” Without waiting for a reply, Eiri snapped his phone shut. He had never before been so glad to hear the doorbell.

 

Tohma sputtered. Sighing heavily, he snapped his phone shut and placed it in the cup holder between the seats. Settling back, he stared out through the windshield at the apartment complex, unsure what to do.

 

*

 

Eiri walked through his apartment. He had been so focused on the argument his two latest lovers were having that he had actually failed to notice how dark it had gotten. His whole apartment had fallen into darkness. As he maneuvered his way through the living room, which had turned into an obstacle course in the dark, he snapped on the lamps.

 

A hand on the doorknob, he looked through the peep hole and sighed. He would probably regret this, but…

 

Sliding the chain back, he turned the lock, the tumblers falling with a loud thud and swung the door open. “What're you doing here, Tatsuha?” Eiri asked him exasperated.

 

Tatsuha stepped inside, chuckling, and fingering his hair with his free hand, the other one held his motorcycle helmet. “Aw, come on, Aniki. Can't I just come over to say `hi' once in a while?”

 

Eiri slammed the door behind him. He smirked when he saw Tatsuha jump. He was not in the mood to deal with his brother right now. “You never stop by to say `hi', especially when it's almost ten o'clock at night.”

 

Tatsuha chuckled nervously as he stood in the doorway between the front hall and the living room.

 

Pushing passed him Eiri strode into the living room. Flopping onto the couch, he reached for his cigarettes but realized that he left them in his office. If he was going to deal with Tatsuha's shit, then he certainly needed his cigarettes, but he did not feel like going to get them.

 

Crossing his legs, he draped an arm across the back of the sofa and rested his other hand on his knee and watched his brother who was still standing in the threshold. The darker version of himself fiddled with his helmet and shuffled his feet. He smelled of fear. Eiri's eye twitched and he felt his anger flare up as the conversation he had with Tohma moments before replayed in his head. “What the hell do you want?” he barked.

 

Tatsuha flinched at his brother's angry tone. He glanced briefly at Eiri before dropping his head. Shuffling around, he spun his helmet in his hands. “Uhm…I, uh…”

 

Eiri growled, tightened his grip on his knee and gritted his teeth. His fury and resentment bowled him over. “How could you be so stupid! What the fuck where you thinking!” He had the strongest urge to throttle Tatsuha.

 

Tatsuha gasped. His head flew up. He stared at his brother with wide shock filled eyes, dozens of thoughts and emotions raced across his face. “Aniki…You, you…How did…?”

 

“I find out?” he finished. “Tohma saw you, you fucking moron!”

 

Tatsuha paled. “He was…Tohma was…”

 

“There?” Eiri jumped to his feet and glared furiously at his brother, his hands fisted at his sides.

 

“And he saw…?”

 

“Apparently, Shindou called his husband…”

 

Eiri had the privilege of seeing his little brother flinch.

 

“…several times and because Sakuma is supposed to be sick and wasn't answering the phone, he called Tohma and asked him to go check on him.”

 

What little color was left in Tatsuha's face vanished.

 

“And what did he see when he got there? He saw you and Sakuma in the parking lot making out! The whole fucking country probably saw you!”

 

“Oh, god,” Tatsuha whispered. Feeling suddenly ill, he stumbled into the living room and slumped down onto the sofa.

 

“How fucking stupid are you! Sakuma is a celebrity! There are photographers and paparazzi following him night and day! They stake out his apartment! Do you have any idea what's going to be on the front page of every paper in the morning?”

 

Tatsuha slumped forward, burying his face in his hands, groaning.

 

“Do you have any idea what the hell you've done?”

 

Tatsuha mumbled something into his hands.

 

Eiri blinked, stunned at what he thought he heard his brother say. Then his anger renewed itself. “What did you just say?” he hissed. He better have heard him wrong.

 

Tatsuha lifted his head. His eyes were hard and filled with determination. “I said, `we love each other'!”

 

“You what?” Eiri growled.

 

“I love him and I don't plan on letting him go!”

 

His anger and rage blinding him, Eiri swallowed the space that separated Tatsuha and him and slapped his brother hard across the face.

 

Tatsuha's head snapped back with the impact. He stared across the room in shock and surprise. He touched his cheek and hissed as pain flashed through him.

 

When Eiri pulled his hand back, it was red and stung. “Do you have any idea what the hell you are doing?” he hissed. “You're having an affair with a married man!”

 

Tatsuha jumped to his feet. He fisted his hands and glared at his brother. “I don't care! I love him! I'll do whatever it takes to be with him! Besides,” he added, “not like this's the first time!” As soon as if left his mouth, he realized he said too much.

 

Eiri gasped. His eyes shot open. He stared at his brother in sudden understanding. Then his eyes hardened. “Get out,” he hissed. “Get the fuck out before I fucking kill you! NOW!”

 

One look at his brother's face and Tatsuha knew it was not an idle threat.

 

Eiri watched as his brother scrambled across the room towards the front door like a serial killer was on his tail. He fumbled with the door before finally flinging it open after what seemed like forever. The younger Uesugi rushed out of the apartment, vanishing from Eiri's view.

 

Goddamn him! What the fuck was his idiotic brother thinking!

 

*

 

Tohma was staring into his computer screen blankly when his cellphone rang. The familiar tones echoed through the still apartment, startling him back to the present. Picking it up, he saw a familiar number displayed. “Yes, Eiri,” he said smoothly. His eyes widened as he listened to his brother-in-law. Sighing, Tohma leaned back in the chair and rubbed his aching eyes. “Thank you, Eiri…No, I haven't. Truthfully, I have no idea what to tell him…”

 

He sighed again.

 

“…I don't know…Yes, but would you believe me if I told you I saw your partner with someone else? Let alone it being the same person he was caught with before? ...You may be right, but there might not have been any pap-”

 

Again, Tohma sighed. He was so tired.

 

“I'll have a talk with Ryu first. Maybe I can persuade him to tell Shuichi him…And if I can't, well, Ryuichi is my best friend and I support him, no matter what he does, but this time…Yes, Eiri. I will.”

 

A huge grin chased away the shadows from Tohma's face.

 

“…And tell me, Eiri, why're you so worried about Shindou all of a sudden? Eiri? Eiri.” He pulled his phone from his ear and stared at it. His brother-in-law had once again hung up on him. Chuckling, Tohma snapped his phone shut, shut down his computer and went into the bedroom where his wife was already sound asleep, feeling like he stuck between a rock and a hard place.

 

*

 

Ryuichi bent down and picked up the photo. The glass was shattered. Carefully, he removed the shards and placed them in the garbage can. Then made his way to the couch. Sitting on the edge of the sofa, he stared at the picture of him and Shuichi.

 

In the photo, he had an arm draped familiarly around Shuichi's shoulders and instead of looking into the camera. He was watching Shuichi. His eyes were soft and he had a dreamy expression on his face. Shuichi, on the other hand, was grinning like a madman at the camera. His eyes sparkled and his whole face was glowing. Shuichi's head was resting on his chest and had his arms around his waist.

 

The picture was taken…It was funny, he could not remember when the picture was taken, but it had obviously been “before”.

 

He traced the image of his lithe lover. The boy's pink spiky hair, clear, sparkling purple eyes and toned dancer's body blurred behind a veil of tears.

 

[“Shuichi, I'm so sorry. I never meant to hurt you, but nothing ever happened between us. Nothing! I swear to God! Please, give me another chance, please, Shuichi! Let me prove to you that I love you, that you can trust me. Please! I need you. I love you so much!”]

 

His throat felt tight and his chest hurt. His heart ached. Tears flowed freely down his cheeks. He covered his eyes and sobbed silently, his shoulders shaking as he cried.

 

What the hell am I doing, he asked himself.

 

“I'm so sorry, Shuichi,” he whispered through his tears.

 

***