Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Sorry ❯ Chapter 2 ( Chapter 2 )

“Sorry”

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation.

Story summary: AU. Ryuichi? Or Eiri? That is the question. Who will Shuichi chose? (Shuichi/Ryuichi, Ryuichi/Tatsuha, Shuichi/Eiri)

Chapter summary: Back to the beginning.

Warning: Language

Sources: Based on the song “Sorry” by Madonna

A/N: If you haven't figured it out yet, here's the story. Everything happened like it did in the anime/manga up until the concert with Ask. Eiri didn't show up that night and instead, Shuichi got involved with Ryuichi, though he's never forgotten the blond haired man.

 

***

 

Chapter 2

 

(A Year Ago, Zepp Tokyo)

 

Shuichi was totally exhausted. Someone had given him a towel, which he was using to mop the thick rivers of sweat dripping from his body, and someone else had given him a bottle of water, which he finished in seconds. He could not remember who. Nor could he remember if he thanked them. He was so exhausted, mentally and physically, that both his mind and body was beginning to shut down. He could barely keep his eyes open. They felt so heavy and gritty. He yawned loudly, rubbing his eyes. Where was Hiro? It was getting kind of late and he wanted to go home!

 

“That's a pretty big yawn. Are you tired?” came a sudden child-like voice.

 

Shuichi dropped his hand and blinked blurry eyes. He gasped and jumped to his feet, his eyes bugging out of his head. “M-Mr. Sakuma,” he exclaimed in astonishment. Shuichi thought he had already left. “What're you-?” He took a step forward, and then cried out in sudden surprise when he tripped and lost his balance.

 

As he tumbled forward, his descent was halted by something soft, warm and a little firm. Looking up, Shuichi found himself staring right into the large deep eyes of Sakuma Ryuichi. Ryuichi's eyes held such intensity that it made Shuichi's pulse race. He gulped and lost himself in that gaze. He suddenly longed for those large, soft, warm hands holding his hips to grip something else. He licked suddenly dry lips and dropped his eyes from those incredible eyes to his lush, full lips. He wondered what they tasted like, what they would felt like against his.

 

Then in a blink of an eye, the strong, hypnotic gaze was gone. “Are you okay?” asked the childish voice.

 

Blushing madly, Shuichi nodded, turning away from the older man, embarrassed and mortified at what he had been thinking. “Y-yes, th-thank you,” he mumbled as Ryuichi helped him to his feet.

 

“Why're you all red?” Ryuichi asked innocently, cocking his head to the side like a puppy.

 

Shuichi's face grew warmer.

 

“Hey, Shu,” Hiro called.

 

Shuichi sighed deeply, saying a brief prayer of thanks. He had never been more grateful than he was right now to be pulled away from the man he thought of as his god. The singer turned towards his friend and smiled at the other man as he strode towards him.

 

“Ready?”

 

“Yep,” Shuichi nodded.

 

“Hey, where you going?” Ryuichi asked curiously.

 

“We're just going to go to my place and order pizza,” Hiro told the older man.

 

“What?” Ryuichi cried in shock. “That's so booor~iiing! You guys should be celebrating! You just had your very first concert and you blew them aaall away! You were waaay better than, uhm…” He scratched his head in confusion. “Who were those guys again?” Hiro opened his mouth to answer, but Ryuichi shrugged it off. “Anyway,” he continued, “you guys should go out and celebrate! Oh, I know! How about karaoke? Or we can go clubbing? Oo! Oo! There's this new all night café that just opened up. We can go there!”

 

Hiro shook his head. “No, thanks,” he yawned. “I'm beat. Maybe some other time?”

 

“Aw!” Ryuichi pouted. “You're such a party pooper.”

 

“Sorry, Mr. Sakuma,” Hiro chuckled, “but why don't you go, Shuichi?” he asked, turning towards his friend.

 

Shuichi's eyes widened. “What?” he gasped. “Me? B-b-but, Hiro! What about-?”

 

Hiro patted his friends shoulder. “It's fine Shuichi. Go. Have some fun. You deserve it. You were great tonight.”

 

Ryuichi nodded in agreement. “He's right, Shuichi.”

 

“B-b-but-!” Shuichi sputtered.

 

“Come ooon,” Ryuichi cried, grabbing Shuichi's hand. He pulled the younger man behind him as he made for the backstage door of Zepp Tokyo, laughing.

 

“B-but, Mr. Sakuma! Wait a minute! Hiro?”

 

“Have fun, Shu!” Hiro called after his friend.

 

Shuichi bit his lip as Sakuma Ryuichi dragged him down the street. He was not so sure about this.

 

*

 

“Who were you looking for?”

 

Shuichi blinked, startled by the sudden question. “What?” He turned and looked at Ryuichi. Gone was the innocent childlike man that he had seen backstage at Zepp Tokyo. In its place was the serious singer whom had sung with him earlier on stage. It was kind of unnerving.

 

“During the concert. That's why you didn't start singing right away. It wasn't because you forgot the words or had stage fright. You were looking for someone.” Ryuichi glanced at his young friend out of the corner of his eye, a serious expression on his face. “Wasn't it?”

 

Startled by the sudden powerful insight, Shuichi was shocked into silence. He opened his mouth, but closed it without saying anything. He tried again. “I…I don't-”

 

“Shuichi,” Ryuichi scolded.

 

Shuichi was still a little unsettled by the split personality of his idol and the almost psychic-like abilities he seemed to possess. It took half a dozen tries, but he finally managed to say, “I…he had a date. I asked him to come…he, he hated my song and I challenged him, but he, he said…he said he was busy, but I thought…I mean, maybe…” Shuichi shook his head, sighing. “Never mind,” he mumbled.

 

“You like him…”

 

Shuichi bit his lip and turned away from the penetrating stare of the older man. Tears stun his eyes and his throat constricted around a sob. His chest hurt and his heart ached.

 

“…don't you?”

 

Fat tears rolled freely down Shuichi's face. Sniffing, he nodded. He did not trust himself to speak. If he opened his mouth, he would not be able to stop the sobs. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ryuichi stop. Shuichi did as well, but did not turn towards him. He hugged his arms around himself and stared at the ground.

 

Ryuichi reached out and touched his young companion's shoulder. He gently turned him around and was saddened to see the boy crying. He smiled softly. “I like you,” he confessed. “And I showed up.”

 

Shuichi stood frozen before Sakuma Ryuichi as the brunette's face drew closer to his. He gasped in shock and his vivid lavender eyes widened in surprise as his music god pressed his lips against his.

 

*

 

(A Few Months Later)

 

The sun was shinning brightly and warmly. The sky was an endless sea of blue without a cloud in sight. The breeze was light and warm. It was a beautiful, perfect day.

 

Humming happily, Shuichi strode down the street, skirting around the heavy throng of people with ease as he made his way home from the studio. He felt great. Bad Luck worked through the night on their upcoming debut album and surprisingly accomplished quite a lot. It might have a lot to do with the fact that their manager had been forced to leave early yesterday afternoon sick as a dog. Then their producer left soon after, saying something about errands he had to do for the “shacho”. It was no big loss. With both their manager and producer gone, Shuichi, Hiro and Fujisaki managed to accomplish more than they normally would with them present. He was satisfied with the way the album was coming along.

 

But as terrific as he was feeling about the album, Shuichi was completely exhausted and all he wanted to do was get home to bed…and Ryuichi. Smiling widely at the thought of his lover, he giggled happily, his eyes sparkling.

 

It was strange. Just three months ago, he had been another fan, watching Ryuichi's music videos, going to his concerts, drooling over his posters and listening to his CD's and now here he was sharing an apartment with the man. He went from worshipping Ryuichi from a distance to having Ryuichi worshipping him.

 

As he waited patiently at the corner for the light to change, his gaze wondered and landed on a very familiar sight. Lowering his sunglasses, he peered across the street and studied the small outdoor café. He smiled widely, recognizing the place instantly. Ryuichi took him there for their first date, the night Bad Luck opened for ASK at Zepp Tokyo. He blushed madly as he remembered how that night ended.

 

The light changed and the crowd surged forward, taking Shuichi along with it. As he crossed the street, he caught sight of a suspicious looking figure hidden in a baseball hat and dark sunglasses walking out of the café and taking a seat in the shadows of the outdoor patio. Shuichi recognized him instantly.

 

“Ryu,” he whispered.

 

He grinned widely. It seemed like forever since he saw his boyfriend. He called him early yesterday evening, informing him that he planned on staying at the studio for as long as they were on a roll and then Ryuichi called to say “goodnight” before going to bed, but it seemed like a lifetime ago. Ryuichi was a sight for sore eyes.

 

Shuichi wondered briefly, what Ryuichi was doing at the cafe.

 

Deciding to surprise his lover, Shuichi made his way stealthily towards the café when a sleek, black motorcycle pulled up in front of the café, rumbling obnoxiously. Then silence descended upon the neighborhood. The rider pocketed the key, stood up and toed the kickstand. Shuichi watched almost hypnotized as the rider swung his long leg over the bike and stood on the sidewalk.

 

The biker grabbed his helmet with black gloved hands and lifted it off his head. The man ran his fingers through his silky black locks, holding his helmet under his arm. When he turned around, Shuichi gasped. A picture of a tall man with an almost snow white complexion flashed through his mind. The breeze blowing off the water gently fingered his dirty blond hair. It tickled the collar of his button down shirt and swept over his light brown eyes like a veil. His earring glinted in the light of the street light. A cigarette clamped between his lips, smoldering in the cool night air. He studied the man closely. Despite the black hair and eyes and darker complexion, yes, this guy certainly did look like him. He wondered who he was.

 

Shuichi followed the man with his eyes as he walked towards the café. He saw Ryuichi stand up, a wide, toothy grin on his face.

 

“Tatsuha,” his boyfriend called out to the Yuki look alike.

 

The biker turned towards the voice and grinned back, veering towards the singer.

 

Shuichi cocked his head, his brows drawn in confusion. Who was this Tatsuha and how did he know Ryuichi? Why had Ryu not said anything about meeting someone for lunch? Shuichi tried telling himself that he had been stuck at the studio all night and that it was possible that this Tatsuha was an old friend and called Ryuichi up when he realized that he was going to be in town. Shuichi watched as his boyfriend stood up, still grinning, and met Tatsuha halfway, speaking softly to the other man. Shuichi was too far away to hear what they said. When the two men embraced warmly, Shuichi's eyebrows shot into his hairline.

 

Well that answers that question, he thought to himself. Now he wanted to know who this guy was more than ever.

 

As he started towards the café, he came to a sudden halt, his breath hitching with a gasp. He stood frozen, the color draining from his face. His mind went blank. All he could do was stare at the couple standing in the middle of the café suddenly and inexplicably in a passionate lip lock. He developed a case of tunnel vision. He was not aware of the other pedestrians jostling him as they rushed by him. He did not hear their shouts or curses or see the dirty looks they threw him. The only thing Shuichi was aware of was his boyfriend in the arms of another man.

 

*

 

At the café, his hands lightly caressed the boy's arm as he reluctantly pulled away. Ryuichi's face was flushed. His eyes sparkled.

 

“Sorry I'm late,” his date apologized.

 

Ryuichi shook his head. “Don't worry about it, Tatsuha. I just got here myself,” he assured the boy, smiling.

 

“What did you tell Shuichi?”

 

“Nothing. He's at the studio. He's been there all night with his band working on their album. He'll go straight home to bed when he finishes.”

 

“Good, so we should be alright.”

 

Ryuichi nodded with a frown as he glanced over Tatsuha's shoulder. It felt like he was being watched. Not like it was anything new. He was a celebrity after all, but he had to be extra careful nowadays. Maybe agreeing to meet Tatsuha here had not been a good idea. If word got back to Shuichi-

 

When Ryuichi's gaze landed on a small, lithe man hidden behind a pair of dark shades and a baseball cap, he froze and gasped, his eyes growing wide.

 

Tatsuha frowned when he felt Ryuichi tense in his arms. “Ryu? What's wrong?” He glanced down at his lover and saw him staring at something over his shoulder. The older singer looked like he had seen a ghost. Turning around, he followed Ryuichi's gaze. “Well,” he said calmly as realized they had been caught. Tatsuha stepped aside to watch the two singer's face-off.

 

Ryuichi stared across the outdoor café at his boyfriend. Shuichi was watching him with a look of confusion, bewilderment and hurt on his face. For the first time in his life, Ryuichi was at a loss for words. A surge of emotions rushed through him. He stepped forward and reached out towards the younger man. “Shu,” he whispered. “Shuichi, I-”

 

It was like being awaken from a dream. Shuichi shook his head vigorously, fat tears snaking their way down his face. This was not happening, he thought. Shuichi kept shaking his head, slowly backing up as he tried to convince himself that this was just a bad dream. It was a sick joke.

 

Ryuichi slipped off his sunglasses and took another step forward.

 

Tatsuha just watched everything with a neutral expression, though inside, he was screaming for the pink haired brat to just go away.

 

One glance into his boyfriends face was all Shuichi needed. All he had to do was stare into those gorgeous deep blue eyes and he knew. Something broke inside Shuichi. Spinning around, he fled down the street, vanishing among the thick cluster of people and sobbing uncontrollably, tears coursing down his face.

 

Ryuichi let his hand drop to his side. He stared blankly where Shuichi just moments before stood. A lone tear tickled down his face.

 

Tatsuha turned and studied his lover, frowning.

 

*

 

(Two Weeks Later)

 

A figure approached the apartment, a key in his hand. He wore a baseball cap pulled low over his face and the collar of his jacket was flipped up. He stood before the door, trembling. It had taken everything he had to come face Shuichi. He had never been so scared in his entire life. He had no idea what he was going to say or how Shuichi was going to react. Would he forgive him and give him a second chance or tell him to go to hell?

 

Taking a deep breathe, Ryuichi gathered his courage and slipped the key into the lock. The door unlocked with a click as the tumblers shifted. He turned the doorknob and slowly pushed the door open. Pulling off his sunglasses, he hooked them in his shirt and gulped as he stared into the darkened apartment. His pulse was racing. Licking suddenly dry lips, he gulped and stepped over the threshold.

 

He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he walked into the apartment. There was a horrendous smell in the air. Guess they weren't kidding when they said Shuichi shut himself away, he thought. He gazed sadly around the stale, cave-like environment. It looked as if all the shades and curtains in the apartment were drawn. It did not look as if any lights were on and none of the windows apparently were opened if the stench was an indication. Had he reduced Shuichi to this?

 

“Oh God, Shuichi,” he whispered.

 

Pocketing his house key, Ryuichi shut the door behind him and picked his way through the living room towards the sliding glass doors that led out to the balcony. He cursed as he tripped over, stepped on or knocked into something with every step he took.

 

He searched among the folds of the curtain blindly for the drawstring and when he found it yanked it and the curtain flew open. Ryuichi hissed and cringed away from the bright afternoon sunlight as it streamed into the living room, momentarily blinding him. Blinking, he unlocked the balcony doors and slid open the door allowing the cool afternoon breeze to circulate through the apartment. Much better, he thought turning around.

 

Blinking stupidly, he stared at the sight before him. “What the bloody hell?” he gasped seconds later. The living room was in complete shambles. His gaze swept over the destroyed house and landed on the photo of Shuichi and him that hung on the wall above the stereo system. He took an unsteady breath and blinked back tears.

 

His gaze swept over the living room and landed on the altar, or what was left of it. Ryuichi could picture Shuichi kneeling before the altar, tears coursing down his face and praying to Buddha and Kami-sama, wondering why he was made to suffer. What had he done to deserve this? Was he being punished for something in a previous life? Had he not been an attentive lover? Had he done something to upset Ryuichi? Why had the universe turned its back on him? Why was this happening to him? Why?

 

With a sob, Ryuichi flung a hand over his mouth. Tears blurred his vision. No Shuichi, he thought. Oh, God. It's not you.

 

In his minds eye, he watched as Shuichi jumped to his feet with an angst filled scream. His face was contorted in rage. Angry tears coursed down his face as he smashed the altar, sending the statue of Buddha flying across the room and into the wall, where it smashed into hundreds of pieces all except for the head, which was left untouched except for a small crack that appeared down his cheek. It was like Buddha himself was crying. The incense holder and flower vases clattered to the floor. Water rained down the wall and puddled to the floor. Ash snowed down, scattered as if blown by the wind. The flowers were strewn before the balcony doors, wilted and dead. The runner laid hanging off the edge of the table. The candles lay in the middle of the living room, their holders stood forlornly on the table.

 

“God, Shuichi.”

 

Next, Shuichi would turn towards the stereo system, which was the closest thing to the altar. The system had been expensive, but well worth the investment. Their CD collection that included music from all over the world, as well as some hard to find albums, was stacked in the curvy CD towers secured to the wall. Or had been. Now, the CD's were scattered all over the living room. Their cases were smashed. Ryuichi bent and picked up one that still had its CD. The CD had a large crack down the middle. He set it on the one speaker that remained. The rest of the system, like the CD's, was strewn about the living room. He bet anything that it was broken. So much for that investment.

 

“Shuichi,” he sighed.

 

The stack of various music and teen magazines, which they kept in clear plastic cubes near the stereo system was next to take Shuichi's wrath. The magazines had been torn to shreds. The pages were sprinkled around the room like confetti. Ryuichi picked up one of the magazines, or what was left of it. It looked as if a dog had been gnawing on it. He dropped the magazine on the floor and looked around. The knick knacks he had collected from all over the world had been swept off their perches and onto the floor. They, too, had been shattered to smithereens.

 

It looked as if anything and everything he could get his hands on, Shuichi tossed, chucked, smashed and destroyed in his all consuming anger. If this was what the living room looked like, Ryuichi was afraid to see the rest of the apartment.

 

He swallowed over a lump in his throat. Tears pricked his eyes. “I'm so sorry, Shuichi.”

 

“What're you more upset about? That you've been cheating on him for over a month or that you were caught?” asked Tatsuha in his head.

 

Ryuichi shook his head and picked his way threw the mess down the hall to the bedroom.

 

[“I love him, Tatsuha. I always have and I always will. I have to try to fix things with him.”

 

“But…But what about us? Me?”]

 

Ryuichi stood before the master suite. He reached out with a trembling hand, but jerked his hand back at the last minute and clenched his hand into a fist. He dropped his hand to his side and stared at the closed door. Dropping his head forward, he squeezed his eyes shut.

 

[“Tatsuha…”

 

“Don't my feelings count for anything?”

 

“Of course they do! You know that!”

 

“Then-?”

 

“I love him. I have since the moment I saw him and I want to make things right with him.”]

 

Taking a deep breath, Ryuichi lifted his head and reached for the doorknob. Turning the knob, he pushed open the door and swallowed as he stared into the darkened room. His pulse was racing. Licking suddenly dry lips, he gulped and stepped over the threshold. He wrinkled his nose in disgust as he walked into the bedroom. There was that horrendous smell again.

 

In the dim light, he took in the state of the bedroom. From what he could see, it was in a similar condition as the living room. The closet door was wide open, its contents spewed all over the floor as if it had been sick. The dresser and nightstand drawers were hanging open, their contents scattered to the four winds as if a bomb had gone off. A few of the drawers had been ripped out and were flung across the room. There was a trail of miscellaneous junk in their wake. The lamp and alarm clock that used to sit on Shuichi's nightstand were missing. Ryuichi could see the red glow of the clock hidden behind the nightstand. He spotted the lamp in the corner of the room. Other than the missing shade, it appeared to be one of the only things that had not been broken. The dresser top had been wiped clean. Deodorant, that was missing their caps, hair gel and wax, cologne bottles that had miraculously not broke, but lost their tops, causing their contents to leak out (which would explain the smell in the apartment), combs, brushes, jewelry and makeup cases and pill bottles, whose contents were scattered all over the place like droppings, littered the room. The mirror above the dresser had a spider webbed crack in the center of it. A crack snaked its way from the epicenter down to the bottom.

 

Ryuichi's eyes widened with a gasp. Did Shuichi do that? Oh, God! Was he hurt? He turned towards the bed and spotted a lump buried underneath the blankets. He wiped his sweating palms on his pants. Swallowing over a lump in his throat, he took deep, even breathes to try to calm his racing heart. He clenched shaking hands and licked dry lips. Steeling himself, he shut the door behind him and walked towards the bed, hoping that it was Shuichi and at the same time praying that it wasn't.

 

[“Please, Ryuichi! Don't do this!”

 

“Tatsuha, I love him.”

 

“But why?”

 

“…”

 

“Dammit! What about me?!”

 

“Tatsuha, you know I love you.”

 

“Then why are you going back to him?”

 

“I told you why… Listen, Tatsuha. Shuichi has nothing to do with you. He has nothing to do… with us.”

 

“What?”]

 

*

 

(A Week Later)

 

The picnic table was hidden in the shade among a triumvirate of trees. The lavatory was off to his right. A little girl no more than five raced inside, her mother several yards behind her. Behind him was the parking lot, filled to capacity. A car was circling, trying in vain to find a spot. Couples and families stretched out on either side of him for as far as he could see. They were picnicking and sun bathing. Some were riding bikes; others were either on roller skates, scooters or skateboards, while still others were on foot, either walking, running or speed walking.

 

The afternoon was warm, the sky a deep, endless blue with no clouds in sight. The sun was shinning brightly. The breeze was light and warm. The waves crashed upon the rocks, spray glistening in the sunlight, but Shuichi was oblivious to it all. He sat hidden in the shadows staring blankly out over the water.

 

[“Get out.”

 

“Shuichi-”

 

“Get. Out. Now.”

 

“Please, Shuichi. Let me explain!”

 

“What's there to explain?! You fucking cheated on me! After everything we've been through…!”

 

“…”

 

“How the fuck could you do this to me?”

 

“…”

 

“We've been together for almost six months, Ryu. Six months! I gave you my love, my virginity! Everything! I thought I knew you. I though you loved me. I trusted you! I loved you and you played me like a fool! I don't ever want to see your face again!”

 

“I'm so sorry, Shuichi. I never meant to hurt you you have to believe me!”

 

“Get. Out!”

 

“Shuichi, please. I do love you! I've loved you since the moment I saw you.”

 

“Liar.”

 

“No, Shuichi, please!”

 

“If you loved me so goddamn much then how could you… How could you…? What the fuck did I do? How could you do this to me? To us?”

 

“Shuichi, you didn't do anything! It was… I don't know how it happened, Shuichi. I have no excuses. All I can say is that I was weak.”

 

“…”

 

“I, I was… I just… I couldn't… I know it was a mistake. It…it was something that just happened!”

 

“'Just happened'? Bullshit! You don't `just happen' to sleep with someone! You don't `just happen' to let someone stick his tongue down your throat! You got involved with him willingly!”

 

“It was a mistake, Shuichi. You have to believe me! I love you! I never meant for it to go this far! I, I was just lonely. You were, you were always working and… I don't know what came over me. I just… Please, Shuichi! Tatsuha meant nothing! Nothing! It was only a one time thing! I, I called him that day to, to break it off! Please! Shuichi!”

 

“Why should I believe you after what you did to me?”

 

“God, Shuichi! I'm sorry! It won't happen again. I swear to God! I never meant to hurt you! Never!”

 

“…”

 

“I swear to God it'll never happen again! Please, just, just give me a second chance!”

 

“…I don't know, Ryu. I don't think I can. You hurt me.”

 

“I know, Shuichi! I know I screwed up, screwed up big time! I know that and I know I lost your trust and respect and I don't expect you to ever forgive me. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me and never wanted to see me again, but I…I-”

 

“I don't hate you, Ryu. I never could. I love you. That's why it hurts so much… I just…”

 

“Give me a second chance, I beg you.”

 

“I don't…”

 

“Please!”]

 

Shuichi dropped his face in hands, choking back sobs. He was so confused. He had no idea what he should do. He had not lied. He did love Ryuichi. Always did and always would, but…

 

[“Do you love him enough to give him a second chance? Even after all he did to you?”

 

“Why would he? Hiro, you know that if he did it once, he'll do it again.”

 

“You don't know that Fujisaki. Shu, it's up to you. Do you love him enough to give him a second chance? To forgive him?”

 

“I personally think you should dump his ass and tell him to go to hell.”

 

“…What about you, Hiro? What do you think I should do?”

 

“Shu…”

 

“Please, Hiro.”

 

“…”

 

“If it were you, what would you do?”

 

“…I hate to say it, Shuichi, but I'd… I agree with Fujisaki, but we're not talking about me. This is about you. What do you want to do?”]

 

That was the question. What did he want to do?

 

He had no idea what he wanted to do. What he did know was that he loved Ryuichi, despite what he did, but Ryuichi had hurt him, betrayed him, his trust and respect. He hated to admit it, but Fujisaki was right. What proof did he have that Ryuichi would not do it again?

 

[“I love you, Shuichi and I swear to God that I will never hurt you again. All I need is a chance to prove it to you.”]

 

[“I'd tell him to go to hell.”]

 

[“It's up to you, Shu.”]

 

[“I'm so sorry, Shuichi. Please give me a second chance. Please. It'll never happen again.”]

 

Growling, Shuichi scrubbed his hands over his face and then slammed his fists on the picnic table.

 

He was not afraid to admit that he was scared. As much as he loved Ryuichi and as much as he wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, he did not want to go through this again. It hurt too much.

 

[“Give me a second chance, Shuichi. Give me a chance to prove to you that I love you. Please.”]

 

With a sigh, Shuichi stood up, stepped over the bench and shoving his hands in the pockets of jeans, made his way across the parking lot. As he made his way slowly down the street, his let his mind wander back over the past few months and by the time he reached the apartment, he had come to a decision.

 

He thanked the doorman who held the door open for him and made his way across the lobby to the elevator and pushed the up button. As he waited, he hugged his arms around himself and tried to settle the butterflies in his stomach. The elevator dinged and seconds later slid open. Shuichi dropped his arms and stepped inside. He pressed the button for his floor and as he watched the elevator doors slide closed, his nervousness intensified. He hoped he was making the right decision.

 

*

 

The door opened, throwing light into the shadow strewn hallway. Ryuichi stepped into the apartment and tossed his keys on the table next to the front door, shutting the door behind him. Toeing off his shoes, he shrugged out of his jacket and opening the closet, hung it up. Taking off his hat, he tossed it on the top shelf. Shutting the door, he turned and jumped with a yelp.

 

“Shu-Shuichi. Wh-what are…?””

 

Shuichi stepped forward and smiled softly. “Hello, Ryuichi.”

 

Ryuichi opened his mouth, and then closed it, at a loss of words.

 

“I…” Shuichi stared at his feet, gathering his thoughts. “I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you,” he said quietly.

 

Ryuichi's shoulders sagged. He nodded in understanding.

 

“But…”

 

Ryuichi's ears perked and he caught his breathe, waiting in anticipation.

 

“I'm… I'm willing to…to give you a second chance.”

 

“Re-really?” Ryuichi felt his heart sore.

 

Shuichi raised his head and stared into Ryuichi's eyes. “But you have to earn my trust back, Ryu. You hurt me. Bad.”

 

Ryuichi nodded. He had expected as much. He would do everything in his power to win back Shuichi's trust and respect, to make up for what he did to his lover. He stepped towards him, but Shuichi stepped back, shaking his head. “Shu? What…?”

 

“Don't make me regret this, Ryu. Don't make me sorry I gave you this second chance.”

 

“You won't Shu,” Ryuichi assured the young singer. He stepped forward and embraced him tightly. “You won't regret this, Shu.” He planted a kiss on the younger man's pink head. “I love you, Shuichi. Thank you.”

 

Shuichi wrapped his arms around Ryuichi's waist, but remained silent. Again, he hoped he was doing the right thing.

 

***