Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Sorry ❯ chapter 12 ( Chapter 12 )

Sorry

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Story summary: AU. Ryuichi? Or Eiri? That is the question. Who will Shuichi chose? (Shu/Ryu, Ryu/Tatsuha, Shu/Eiri)

Chapter summary: Eiri berates himself. Could his big mouth have just caused him Shuichi?

Warning: Language, OOC (Duh! Do I look like the creator?)

Sources: Based on the song “Sorry” by Madonna

 

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Chapter 12

 

[“Will you come back to Japan with me?” Eiri whispered, his voice breaking through the silence.

 

Shuichi tensed.

 

“Will you give us another chance?”]

 

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(Crowne Plaza Hotel - An hour later)

 

He did not envy Shuichi. To him it appeared to be a cut and dry case, but it was not him. He was not the one who had to make the choice. If he were Shuichi, he honestly had no idea what he would do. He would like to say he would kick Sakuma's two-timing ass to the curb, but truthfully though, he could not say with absolute certainty that this was what he would do. You can brag all you want about what you would do in any given situation, but unless you have been in that situation before or at least in a similar one, all you really have are speculations and assumptions. He knew that, but he had not really understood it until half an hour ago when he made a complete ass out of himself.

 

Eiri watched the amber liquid hypnotically as it sloshed around in the glass. The rapid rotation of the alcohol created a vortex into which was the eye. Stilling his hand, he lifted the half glass to his lips and drained it of its contents. He grimaced as the alcohol burned its way down his throat.

 

He exhaled heavily through his nose as his head dropped back against the top of the armchair. Eiri swung his arm out to the side over the side table and set his now empty glass down on the small, white, square napkin he was using as a costar. A water ring entrenched the inside of the napkin. Lifting his hand up, he stared at his fingers wet with condensation. Rubbing his middle finger and thumb together, he watched as a droplet of water rolled in spurts down and around his finger to settle into a pool in the webbing between his fingers.

 

Hazel eyes golden like the sun slowly turned to the door on the far side of the room. In the dimly lit suite, the sliver of light shinning out from under the closed bathroom door was a beacon of light. Instead of welcoming Eiri's presence, though, it was a deterrent warning him away. His heart ached to know that Shuichi had thrown up that barrier between them.

 

Depressed and drowning in a sea of guilt, his hand dropped into his lap and the corners of his lips turned down. Reluctantly, he tore his gaze from the bathroom door and stared off into a shadow hidden corner blankly, trying not to think of what could happen when the bathroom door opens.

 

He had forced Shuichi to make a decision. Shuichi could stay with a man who had proven time and again he could not be trusted and lose Eiri forever or he could walk away from the man who could not take his vows seriously and give Eiri a second chance. There was one other choice Shuichi could make and after what Eiri spewed out earlier, he could not blame the pink haired popstar if he did walk away. His heart lurched painfully at the mere possibility.

 

[“How the bloody hell could this be such a difficult question?” Eiri bellowed as he stalked back and forth across the room in an air of intense fury.

 

Shuichi cowered farther into the sofa cushions, his trembling body curled into a tight ball. Tears streamed continuously down his cheeks. His quiet sobs were muffled further by the shaking hands clasped before his quivering mouth.

 

Hearing the one he loved crying pitifully just sprinkled salt on an open wound. “Yes or no Shuichi!”

 

Shuichi jumped reflexively at the hard tone with a yelp. He gazed at Eiri through tears that stung his eyes and blurred his vision. His ineptitude at being able to give Yuki an answer sent a tsunami wave of guilt ripping through him, but more so because of the pain and hurt that he must be making his beloved feel. He could not bear to gaze into those gorgeous eyes and that sexy face that he had fallen in love with on that night one year ago.

 

“I can't believe you'd even consider returning to that bastard!” Eiri glowered at the smaller man huddled on the couch. “How the hell can you still feel any shred of loyalty to him?!”

 

Timidly, Shuichi made to open his mouth, though he was unsure what he was going to say. He had no defense or any excuse for his inability to come to a decision. But before he could complete the movement, the author beat him to it.

 

“And don't give me that crap about him `being your husband'!”

 

Shuichi flinched. He was not sure if it was in reaction to Eiri's violent tone or guilt over having his own words thrown back at him.

 

“Because if that's your only excuse then you don't have a fucking leg to stand on!”

 

Shuichi had nothing to say to that. He was not sure what to say period. But something about what Eiri said sent a painful jolt through his heart.

 

“Do you think he gave a damn about those promises you made to each other?” Eiri yelled, his face turning red. “Do you think he was thinking of you while he was fucking my brother? Why do you stay with a man who obviously doesn't give a damn about you?”

 

Shuichi screwed his eyes shut and pressed his hands over his ears. No more, he thought crying in earnest. No more!

 

But Eiri was on a roll and ignorant of the turmoil Shuichi was going through. “Why the hell do you think he pulled out of the tour at the last minute?” Eiri indicated the laptop sitting idle on the coffee table where dozens of incriminating photographs were stored. “Why don't you take another look if you forgot!”

 

Shuichi did not want to hear anymore. His head was spinning and his chest hurt. “Stop it,” he sobbed silently.

 

“Because he was `sick'?” Eiri mocked, not hearing Shuichi's plea.

 

“Stop it,” Shuichi repeated through his tears.

 

“He looked perfectly healthy to me when he had his tongue down my little brother's throat!”

 

Something in Shuichi snapped. “I said stop it!” the singer shouted.

 

Eiri gaped at he pink haired wonder. He blinked stupidly; his angry words choked out of him. “Shu?” he called softly in surprise.

 

Sobbing miserably and weeping a torrent of tears, Shuichi slowly unfurled himself from the couch and carefully got to his feet. With dull violet eyes red rimmed and bloodshot from crying and with a runny nose, Shuichi glared at the author. “Here you are bad mouthing Ryu for being the world's worst partner LIKE YOU HAVE A BLOODY LEG TO STAND ON,” he cried angrily throwing Eiri's words back at him. He had the privilege of seeing the other man flinch. Sniffling, he continued. “I know better than you what kind of man he is! And you're not any better than him!!”

 

Eiri could do nothing more than stare at Shuichi in shock, taken back by his outburst.

 

“YOU ABANDONED ME FIRST,” Shuichi yelled his voice thick with tears.

 

The author was at a loss for words, too shocked by the venom in his little lover's voice.

 

“So, I gotta choose, huh?” Shuichi asked, his voice leveling off. He snorted at the irony. “Whatta choice,” he laughed.

 

Eiri was not sure what hurt the most, the words being thrown at him or the realization that he had hurt Shuichi worse than he could ever have imagined.

 

“My first love who dumped me because he was `too afraid' to commit or my current lover who can't seem to remember WHERE TO DOCK HIS FUCKING SHIP!” With tears streaming down a face twisted with grief and torment, he stood in the middle of the living room, panting under the effort of juggling his emotions.

 

Eiri was flabbergasted. He was beyond words, beyond thoughts, beyond anything even remotely rational. He could only stare dumbfounded at his hysterical lover. Was he responsible for this? Had he driven Shuichi this far? An overcoat of guilt was draped upon his body as snuggly as his fair skin. What had he done?

 

He took a step forward and held out his hand out towards Shuichi. “Shu-“

 

Shuichi recoiled violently.

 

Eiri's heart gave a painful lurch. “Shu,” he whispered, hurt by Shuichi's denial.

 

Shaking his head, Shuichi held out a hand to ward the blond god away. He took a step back, then another and another. With a sob, Shuichi tore into the bathroom and slammed the door closed behind him.

 

Eiri watched the bathroom door sadly. What had he done?]

 

He made a complete and utter ass of himself. If Shuichi made the decision to return to Japan without him, he would never be able to forgive himself. Because he let his emotions get the better of him, he might just lose the love of his life forever.

 

Cursing his own stupidity, Eiri squeezed his eyes shut and dropped his head forward then slammed it back with a snap of his neck. The thick cushion kept him from hurting himself, much to his chagrin. He raked his fingernails over the arms of the chair, mentally berating himself.

 

With tears burning his eyes and his throat closed over a sob, Eiri took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he tried to calm himself down. He forced himself to relax and collapsed into the armchair. Clearing his mind, he tried not to think of anything.

 

He was not sure how long he stayed like that when into the silence broke a small timid voice.

 

“Yuki.”

 

Startled, Eiri's eyes snapped open. He raised his head and turned towards the sound of the voice. Growing wide eyed, Eiri scrambled off the chair. “Shuichi,” he whispered.

 

He watched with his heart in his throat and with bated breath as the teenaged vocalist stepped barefoot out of the bathroom and into the living room wrapped in a white terrycloth bathrobe that looked like it was a size too large. Tan skin glistened. Pink hair had been subdued to a darker shade as it lay plastered to the side of Shuichi's head. Those large amethyst eyes darted around the room. They studied the floor. They glanced out the sliding doors and into the night. They were anywhere but on Eiri. Those small hands with the slender, nimble fingers were clasped together so tightly the knuckles were white. Then the next second he was wringing his hands before holding them still again.

 

Cautiously, Eiri gulped and took a step toward his little lover. “Shuichi,” he called. Please say something, he pleaded. His heart was thumping so loudly it was a wonder Shuichi did not say something. His mouth had gone dry. A fine trembling shook his entire body.

 

Finally, Shuichi stopped fidgeting. His lithe body hidden under the large robe grew still. His hands fell loosely to his sides, swinging freely and slowly his head turned towards Eiri. Hazel eyes locked onto violet ones. Despite the lasting effects of having been crying for the past hour or so, Shuichi's eyes gleamed with a renewed light. Confidence. That was when Eiri knew. Shuichi had made his decision.

 

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