Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ Sorry ❯ chapter 13 ( Chapter 13 )

Sorry

Written by: Chocho

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, or the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

Story summary: AU. Ryuichi? Or Eiri? That is the question. Who will Shuichi chose? (Shu/Ryu, Ryu/Tatsuha, Shu/Eiri)

Chapter summary: Shuichi has made his decision.

Warning: Language, OOC (Duh! Do I look like the creator?)

Sources: Based on the song “Sorry” by Madonna

 

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Chapter 13

 

[Finally, Shuichi stopped fidgeting. His lithe body hidden under the large robe grew still. His hands fell loosely to his sides, swinging freely and slowly his head turned towards Eiri. Hazel eyes locked onto violet ones. Despite the lasting effects of having been crying for the past hour or so, Shuichi's eyes gleamed with a renewed light. Confidence. That was when Eiri knew. Shuichi had made his decision.]

 

*

 

“Yuki,” Shuichi stated calmly, his voice barely above a whisper. He stared pointedly into Eiri's eyes.

 

Gulping, Eiri licked dry lips and took a deep trembling breath. His hands clenched into fists then relaxed. They itched to reach out and pull Shuichi into his arms. He had to fight the urge to drop to his knees before the teen in a kowtow position and beg for his forgiveness as well.

 

He loved Shuichi, had from the moment he looked up from that half finished piece of crap the baka called “a love song” and saw the eighteen year old standing there staring at him in astonishment. And it was that unexpected feeling that sent Eiri running away in fright.

 

It was a cop out to confess to a traumatic event in one's past that now keeps you from following where your heart is trying to lead you. Unfortunately he was that fool and it had cost him his second chance at love. He just hoped his big mouth had not cost him his final chance at Shuichi. He would never be able to forgive himself if it had. Because he knew. If he was turned down, if his affections were refused then that was it. He would never get another shot. Three strikes and you are out.

 

As he waited, unsure what to expect, the silence stretched. The silence had never bothered Eiri before. He liked peace and quiet. Solitude suited him the best. He preferred staying at home reading a good book on a Friday night to going out. Being forced into going to a party or get together of some sort was the worst. He was never one to make small talk, but Eiri found himself beginning to grow fidgety as the silence continued to expand around them. He had never once felt the need to shatter the silence. He normally felt comforted by it, but not this time. Eiri made to open his mouth, not really sure what he was going to say- if he could force his brain and larynx to synchronize properly first- but before he could, Shuichi spoke up.

 

“Let me say something, okay?” the vocalist asked.

 

Eiri started to nod.

 

“Can you just…just listen to me for a second?”

 

“Of course,” Eiri replied softly.

 

For the first time in over an hour, a smile transformed Shuichi's face.

 

Cute, Eiri thought unconsciously.

 

But the smile vanished as Shuichi dropped his head.

 

Eiri watched him as a nauseous feeling in the pit of his stomach stirred to life. He could not remember feeling this nervous before. It was the feeling you get on the first day of school or when you ask that special someone to spend the rest of his or her life with you.

 

[“How the bloody hell could this be such a difficult question?”]

 

Shuichi could not stop the angry remarks from echoing through his head. His chest tightened in reaction.

 

[“I can't believe you'd even consider returning to that bastard! How the hell can you feel any shred of loyalty to him?!]

 

That was the question, was it not?

 

[“And don't give me that crap about him `being your husband'!”]

 

Unfortunately, Eiri was right. He did not have “a fucking leg to stand on”, because as many times as he went over everything in his head, that was the only excuse he had to give Eiri.

 

[“Do you think he gave a damn about those promises you made to each other? Do you think he was thinking of you while he was fucking my brother? Why do you stay with a man who obviously doesn't give a damn about you?”]

 

Two men cannot legally get married, but they can have a civil union and that is what Ryuichi and he had in a private ceremony a couple months ago. Ryuichi wanted to prove that he had no intention of doing anything that would threaten their relationship or Shuichi's trust in him again. It was those promises they made to each other before the minister, God and their family and friends that made Shuichi uncertain about what he should do. He had promised to stay with Ryuichi till death do they part, forsaking all others and Shuichi took his vows very seriously, even if his partner did not. And it was that realization that made what Eiri said to him earlier that much harder to listen to.

 

[“Do you think he gave a damn about…you while he was fucking my brother?”]

 

What had upset Shuichi the most about Eiri's rant earlier was the hard reality that everything he spewed out in his angry tirade was the absolute truth.

 

[“Why do you think he pulled out of the tour at the last minute? Why don't you take another look if you forgot!”]

 

Everything.

 

[“Because he was `sick'?”]

 

Now he knew. As much as he tried to ignore the truth, as much as he wished things could be different, when those pictures showed up in his e-mail yesterday he understood. Everything made sense then; why he could not get hold of Ryuichi and why he never heard back from Mr. Seguchi after he asked his boss to go check on his “ailing” friend.

 

[“He looked perfectly healthy to me when he had his tongue down my little brother's throat!”]

 

Shuichi could not help but question himself. Was something wrong with him? Was he in some way responsible for Ryuichi's wandering eye? Had he not been a good enough boyfriend and husband? Had he driven Ryuichi into the arms of Yuki's younger brother? Was it his fault that Ryuichi had been unfaithful?

 

Eiri watched the flicker of emotion flash across Shuichi's face. He wished he could into the boy's head. He frowned as he watched the teenager's face twist into an ugly mask of grief, misery and guilt. His heart ached to see that solemn expression on Shuichi's face. The urge to wipe that unbecoming expression off Shuichi's face lured Eiri around the coffee table and across the expanse that separated them. He stopped before Shuichi and gazed down into eyes clouded over. Emotion swirled like a gathering storm in them. Reaching out, Eiri tapped Shuichi under the chin. “Hey, hey,” Eiri called softly, trying to gain the boys attention. “What's going on in that empty head of yours, huh?” he asked in a light tone.

 

“Nothing,” Shuichi replied automatically with no thought.

 

Eiri cocked an eyebrow. “Got that right,” he snorted in amusement.

 

“Huh?” With a blink, Shuichi lifted his head and gazed at the author in confusion. “What?”

 

Chuckling, Eiri shook his head.

 

He had missed something. He knew he had. He just was not sure what. Shuichi's brows drew together.

 

Seeing Shuichi unable to fathom what had apparently gone right over his pink head, Eiri cinched Shuichi's chin, still chuckling. Stooping, he pressed his lips against Shuichi's forehead. When he pulled back, he met Shuichi's wide eyed startled expression. Pleased with the result his actions had yielded, he let go of Shuichi's chin. His expression softened as he gently brushed his knuckles up Shuichi's cheek.

 

The startled expression softened. Shuichi closed his eyes and savored the delicious shiver that raced through his body. He drew in a trembling breath and let out a deep, contented sigh. “Yuki,” he breathed.

 

“Baka,” Eiri responded.

 

A hot blush colored Shuichi's cheeks. He peered out from half laden eyes at Eiri, feeling strangely shy all of a sudden. Violet eyes locked with light brown ones. His blush flared. Biting back an embarrassed grin, he dropped his head to hide the involuntary response Eiri seemed to be able to elicit from him.

 

Eiri chuckled. He's so cute, he thought again as he moved to cup Shuichi's cheek.

 

Shuichi rubbed his head against the cool touch of Eiri's hand.

 

“So,” Eiri drawled, brushing his thumb in lazy circles under Shuichi's eye.

 

He did not even have to ask. Heaving a sigh, Shuichi reached up wit his left hand and grasped Eiri's hand.

 

Eiri's eyes flickered quickly to the hand now holding his.

 

Shuichi searched those brown eyes inlaid with gold and smiled.

 

Returning the smile, Eiri fingered a damp pink lock behind the singer's ear with his free hand.

 

Gently, Shuichi peeled Eiri's hand from his face. He held the older man's hand firmly. Lowering his head, he stared at the floor beneath his bare feet.

 

Here it comes, Eiri thought.

 

Shuichi once again tried to gather his thoughts. He hoped Eiri did not hate him after he told him what he had to tell him. “Yuki?”

 

Gulping, Eiri lightly squeezed Shuichi's hand clasped within his.

 

“I love you so much,” Shuichi confessed.

 

A tender half smile crossed Eiri's face. He was not sure whether to rejoice at the admission or fear for the worst.

 

Shuichi lifted his heads and stared fixedly into those golden orbs he had fallen in love with on that night one year ago. “And…I want…to be with you.” He turned red after the words left his mouth.

 

The half smile grew into a shit eating grin. With his free hand, Eiri reached out for the nineteen year old. He thought of poor Sakuma who would be landing at Lester B. Pearson International Airport anytime now, if he had not already. Told you I'd make him mine, he thought smugly. But that self-satisfaction was short lived when Shuichi shied away from his hand. His heart lurched painfully. “Shu?” Eiri called. Shuichi's rejection ripped through his heart. “Wh-?”

 

Shuichi shook his head.

 

Eiri's heart dropped into his stomach…

 

“But I can't.”

 

…and shattered.

 

“Not yet at least.”

 

Eiri's ears perked up. The tiniest flicker of hope fluttered to life.

 

“I hate you for what you said,” Shuichi told the romance author. His tone was neither accusatory nor hateful. But neither was it stated matter-of-fact. The hurt he felt at the abuse he had suffered at the hand off the author was clearly conveyed though.

 

Guilt ate away at Eiri.

 

Shuichi focused his gaze on Eiri. “You made me feel like an idiot for wanting to believe in my husband,” he accused. His voice wavered slightly but remained hard.

 

“That wasn't my intention,” Eiri admitted in an apologetic tone.

 

Shuichi gave Eiri a small smile. “I know.”

 

Maybe all was not lost after all. That tiny flame started to grow. Eiri found himself returning the smile almost unconsciously.

 

He regretted the hard words he spit at Shuichi earlier only in so much as they caused Shuichi so much pain. Eiri wanted Shuichi to always be smiling, to always be happy and remain the carefree, innocent boy he met the previous year. But as guilty as Eiri felt for being the one responsible for wiping that sensuous smile from Shuichi's face, his long angry speech had been a necessary evil. Though in hindsight he could have gone a little easier on the vocalist. But on the other hand, if he had not have been so “forward” and “open” there was no telling where they would be right now.

 

The falling smile on Shuichi's face caught Eiri's eye.

 

Shuichi dropped his gaze, his brow furrowed in thought.

 

Worry gnawed at Eiri's heels. Doubt flowed through his veins. He suddenly worried that he had misunderstood Shuichi and their chances. That flame flickered as a breeze brushed by it. It was on the verge of being put out forever.

 

It was now or never, Shuichi thought, trying to psych himself up. Inhaling deeply, he blinked long and slow. Lifting his gaze, he stared at the author. “Yuki.”

 

That determined glint was there once again, though this time it was somewhat subdued.

 

His heart beating erratically, Eiri waited with bated breath. His nervousness grew and his fear rose. He was not sure what to expect. Dozens of different emotions and thoughts swirled through him.

 

“Before, you asked me to give `us' another chance. You asked me to return to Japan with you.”

 

Eiri did not like where this was going.

 

Shuichi dropped his head, momentarily lost in thought. “But before I can do that, there's something that I must do,” Shuichi confessed.

 

Eiri's heart thumped heavily in his chest.

 

“I…I must…I have to ask him…that is…”

 

Even through Shuichi's stutterings, Eiri knew what the boy was trying to say. He was not happy about it, but he guessed it was inevitable.

 

Shuichi paused to gather his thoughts. He was afraid of what Yuki's reaction to his decision was going to be. “I'm sorry Yuki, but before I can decide anything, I need to talk to Ryu.” He searched Yuki's face closely.

 

Eiri sighed. He took comfort in the fact that Shuichi had not rejected his affections. Yet, he added. “I never liked that guy,” Eiri muttered.

 

Shuichi blinked. “Yuki?”

 

Eiri stared directly into Shuichi's eyes that gleamed like amethysts. “Do what you must,” he said reluctantly.

 

A grin split Shuichi's face. “Thank you Yuki.”

 

Eiri smirked. He tugged the hand still clasped lightly within his, pulling Shuichi towards him. Wrapping his free arm around the boy's tiny waist, Eiri held him firmly against him. Letting go of Shuichi's hand, he cupped the hot, red cheek. “You're going to owe me big time though,” he told Shuichi suggestively.

 

Shuichi blushed fiercely. He dropped his gaze in embarrassment. “Then…”

 

“Hm?” Eiri cocked an eyebrow.

 

If possible, Shuichi's face grew even redder. He bit his lip. Did he have the right to ask this of Yuki? “Then that's two I owe you.”

 

“Two, huh?”

 

“…Yuki?”

 

“Hm?”

Shuichi lifted his head and gazed deeply into the golden eyes watching him. “Can I ask…a favor of you, Yuki? I need…I need you to do something for me.”

 

Eiri dropped his brows. A favor? Where was the baka going with this? What was he thinking?

 

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