Gravitation Fan Fiction ❯ The Opposite of Gravity ❯ Playing With Blood ( Chapter 5 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Daiyaonna 
His return...and the crimes that he committed.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.17.2004 | Updated On: 08.13.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 541 | Status: Completed
His return...and the crimes that he committed.
Anime/Manga: Gravitation Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Romance / Drama | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 07.17.2004 | Updated On: 08.13.2004 | Pages: 1 | Words: 2.8K | Visits: 541 | Status: Completed
Track Five: Playing With Blood
His breathing was erratic as he ran, eyes shut and a cry threatening to tear itself from his throat. He could not see in the dark, but the one he wanted to reach was like a beacon, drawing him forward past the anguish and pain though it haunted his every waking hour. He had no one else to turn to, his band members had abandoned him after the terrible thing he had done to a rival who was stealing everything he'd worked his entire life to have. Now, only the man who walked in a world of his own could help him, the one who would never turn him away despite his weaknesses. His trembling fingers smashed in the doorbell even as the remainder of his body tripped up the steps, and although he wasn't the praying type, he pleaded with all the gods he knew for him to be there. The house slowly creaked open, bed-mussed brown hair peeking out from within, and eyes glittering with happiness immediately altered into surprise.
"A-Ai-chan?" he asked, blinking in confusion as the door fell open completely, and Sakuma Ryuichi caught the other as he tumbled down onto his knees, concern washing over his face.
· "R-Ryu-chan..I..I..oh, kami-sama.." He was afraid to find himself weeping in his lover's arms, but he was and Ryuichi just held him, not asking any questions although they were embracing tightly on his porch, in plain view of anyone who wished to see. "Ryu-chan.."
· "What is it, Ai-chan? What's wrong? Did something happen-"
· "Seguchi Tohma..he-he tried to..he tried.." The words stuck in his throat, and Aizawa buried his nose against the warm skin of Ryuichi's neck, refusing to relive the experience of almost meeting his death. The sound of a car screeching to a sudden halt would forever haunt him.
· "Nandai o? Ai-chan, what are you talking about? Tohma wouldn't do anything-"
· "It's all my fault, Ryuichi! It's all my fault..if I hadn't been jealous of Shindou-san and..oh, kami-sama! I screwed up, and my life is over!" The smaller singer gathered Aizawa closer to him, cradling his head against his chest as though he could absorb the pain into himself.
· "Never believe that, Aizawa. It's not over until there is nothing left for you to do, and that isn't an option. Whatever Tohma did, I'm sure it was for a good reason-" Aizawa lurched away from Ryuichi, a scowl on his lips and his eyes redder that usual from crying.
· "He pushed me in front of a damn car, Ryuichi! Is that a good reason to you?!" The other singer gaped at him for a moment, unbelieving that his friend as well as partner for Nittle Grasper would do something so unethical, and he pursed his mouth before tilting Aizawa's face to look at him.
· "I would never, never hurt you, Ai-chan..you're too important to me..I'll talk to Tohma and ask him why-"
· "You already know why, Ryuichi! That damn writer..do you know what Seguchi-san told me? He said-" Aizawa was promptly but off by a pair of avid lips questing for silence, and the vocalist for ASK melted willingly into the thin arms holding him voluntarily prisoner as he sighed into the contact. This was the only secret Ryuichi refused to share with anyone else; he and Aizawa had found solace within each other and no one could understand them better. This was his own personal joy, having Aizawa -headstrong, brash, and always defiant- liquefying in his grasp, and the dark-haired soloist always made the most delightful sounds with his exquisite, bass voice. Their meeting had been a complete accident, they had known each other less than a month, but Ryuichi confided everything to him, realizing that Aizawa might have been his soul mate in a world free from sin and full of love.
· "Does it matter, Ai-chan? Can you honestly say that it does?" he asked after pulling away, his senses filled with the touch, taste, and feel of Tachi Aizawa, the 'untouchable' of *The Untouchable*. Crimson red eyes stared into his soul, making him shiver, and Aizawa smiled, though it was sad and filled with grief.
· "I won't have a career anymore, Ryuichi..my reputation no longer exists to anyone."
· "Demo..Demo..it does to me, Aizawa..it always has..can't we talk this out? I..I don't want you to leave or..it'll be like it was without you, and I can't stand being alone-" Aizawa pressed a tender kiss to his lips to silence him.
· "Urasai," he murmured softly, touching his forehead to Ryuichi's. "You won't be alone..there are too many people in love with you. You're the great Sakuma Ryuichi." Tears were welling up within those azure depths, and the petite man chewed on his lip.
· "I don't want to be if it means I'll lose you..Ai-chan, you're the only thing that's mine." It was ironic to hear him say that particular phrase, after all, Ryuichi had everything he desired and more, but none of it truly belonged to him -because he didn't want it- and he couldn't afford to risk the one object he cherished more than anything.
· "Is that true?" Aizawa asked, already knowing the answer, and he reached around Ryuichi, pushing him closer with a hand on the small of his back.
· "Hai..every word."
· "Hounto ni?" They were only millimeters apart now and Ryuichi was unintentionally shivering, his clothes unsuitable for the cool night air; he was only clad in a pair of loose shorts too large for his slim hips and a shirt with a ripped midriff and no sleeves. He nodded his head numbly, surrendering more quickly to the other's advances, and they were frantically clawing at each other, their fear evaporating beneath desire. Aizawa reclined with Ryuichi squirming excitedly under him, a lean body arching up to touch the firm muscles beneath the jacket and red shirt of his partner, and hot mouths met in a rage of heat, sending sparks through their vision. Ryuichi threw his head back, hitting it softly against the hard wood of the hallway and cried out when Aizawa slipped his hand below the fragmented clothing he called a shirt to skim it over his flawless chest even as he nipped his way along his jaw. The smallest contact always set his senses aflame, and despite Aizawa being younger than him by almost nine years, he dominated him, loving the feel of control, and Ryuichi loved surrendering.
· "M-matte, Aizawa..we're..the door..people can see," he gasped, slender fingers clutching at the younger man's back.
· "Let them see," he replied in a ghostly whisper, blowing his hot breath over Ryuichi's ear. "I want them to know I'm the only one that's ever had Sakuma Ryuichi like this." And, it was true although Aizawa hadn't been his first; he was a pop star, a god in the eyes of many, and it had been expected of him almost like a written law, but he had never wanted it..until he'd met Tachi Aizawa, lead singer of the newest band sensation ASK. Ryuichi meshed against his lover, moaning to the sky and the shadowed ceiling as Aizawa slipped lower, the apartment door swinging slowly back and forth.
· * * *
· Shuichi sat numbly in the hospital waiting room chair, teeth nervously chewing through the wooden pocky stick since he was unaware that the thin cookie was no longer there. Blue eyes filled with unshed tears looked up repeatedly every few seconds, searching for any signs of a doctor to tell them of Hiro's condition, and Shuichi found himself jumping at any small sound. Suguru was patiently sitting across from him with a serious expression on his face, and K remained motionless as he stood leaning against the wall beside Bad Luck's keyboardist, arms crossed and features stoic. Sakano was pacing back and forth across the floor, wearing a gouge into the linoleum.
· The only one who seemed as lost as the pink-haired singer was Ryuichi, who sat on the floor with his legs stretched out and his hand holding a bandage securely to the bend in his left arm. When each of them had been asked to donate blood in case Hiro needed it, Shuichi had instantly jumped at the question, begging for the nurses to jab as many needles into him -though he hated any sharp objects- necessary to save his best friend. Ryuichi, however, had been the only positive match, and he'd shoved his bare arm out as if performing some great duty, fearlessness shining in his narrowed eyes. Afterward, Shuichi had curled into a ball on a chair and cried into his knees until the Nittle Grasper God had returned, offering him some pocky he had somehow procured, and they'd shared it though Ryuichi liked chocolate more than strawberry.
· The younger vocalist bit his lip in thought before slipping to the floor and moving towards Ryuichi, sitting erect on his legs until he was noticed, and he promptly curled against him for comfort, being welcome without a word as Ryuichi slid his arm around Shuichi's shaking shoulders. The boy realized that a few years ago this would have been a distant and unreachable dream -to meet and actually touch Sakuma Ryuichi- but now that he knew him, Shuichi was glad to know Ryuichi was just a person like him with weaknesses just like everyone else. Fair pink mingled with muddy green as Shuichi laid his head against the other's shoulder, and Ryuichi had the sudden urge to cheer him up, disliking it when anyone around him was sad, though he was suffering from a grief beyond normality. He withdrew his favorite gold glittery crayon and sat up -no longer using the front of a chair for support- absently drawing on a magazine crumpled on the carpet beside him. Shuichi was still holding onto him, though he was watching, and Ryuichi dismissed it, his heart breaking. He liked the Bad Luck singer -Shuichi reminded him so much of himself when he'd been younger- but was all the pain he'd suffered worth the friendship?
· He didn't know.
· 'Childish thoughts,' he cursed to himself, scribbling in the hair of the person he was drawing, making them shine with bright speckles of yellow. He was no visual artist, but in his mind's eye it looked exactly like.. 'Stop thinking these stupid things, Ryuichi. It's not worth it-' He tried concentrating on something else, and for the briefest second, he thought of his new friend, Uesugi Tatsuha. He really enjoyed Tatsuha's company despite the youth's uncontrolled awe of being around him, but it would be for both their benefit if they never met again. Every time he looked at him, Ryuichi was instantly reminded of someone he missed more than words could explain. He shook his head and scribbled harder, digging the crayon into the glossy paper. 'Tatsuha isn't Aizawa..Tatsuha will never be..Aizawa..Ai-chan..' He blinked, feeling the tears surface, and even though he knew it was un-Ryuichi-like, he couldn't help it as he remembered making the worst mistake of his life.
· Their breathing was slowed and they had somehow managed to move partially into the apartment where prying eyes could not see them. Ryuichi lay snuggled up to the taller man's body, sighing contentedly though his soul was slowly dissolving into non-existent pieces. Aizawa had his arm wrapped around the petite vocalist's bare back, softly stroking the moist skin, and he stared at him for a moment before speaking, breaking the unbearable silence.
· "I can't stay here anymore, Ryu-chan," he murmured, nuzzling his nose against Ryuichi's cheek. "They'll hunt me down, and.." Aizawa trailed off, not wishing to finish what he had been thinking. There would be prison, public humiliation, and the destruction of ASK, but most of all, he would be placing Ryuichi in a dangerous as well as vulnerable position. Ryuichi, half-giggling in secluded bliss, reached up and placed a wet kiss at the end of Aizawa's nose before smiling brightly at him.
· "You can stay here with Ryuichi and Kumagoro-san! We'll hide you and keep you safe!" he whispered enthusiastically, mysteriously pulling the small bunny from the dark surrounding them. Aizawa couldn't resist the grin that fell upon his face and sighed; he'd forgotten how playful Ryuichi could get after making love.
· "I can't hide, Ryu-chan..especially not here. I have to go away." The legendary singer looked at him with huge eyes.
· "Demo..Kumagoro-san would miss you, and Ryuichi wouldn't know how to fix him..Kumagoro-san loves Ai-chan." Aizawa's lips trembled when he heard the words, and he gently tugged the stuffed animal from his lover's grasp to stare at its eternally red-stitched smile, pink nose, and beady coal eyes.
· "Aizawa loves Kumagoro-san, too," he spoke, feeling slightly foolish for talking to a toy, but he turned his head to look directly at Ryuichi, resting the bunny between them. "Demo..do you think Kumagoro-san would be jealous if I said that I loved Ryuichi more?" Despite the black shadows, Aizawa knew the other was blushing, and Ryuichi lifted Kumagoro-san up to examine him.
· "Iie. Kumagoro-san isn't jealous..he's happy and..so am I..Aizawa." Ryuichi moved against him, capturing his lips with his own in a thrilled kiss, and they clung to each other after it ended, Ryuichi's face pressed to Aizawa's naked chest.
· "I'm glad," the dark haired vocalist murmured, squeezing Ryuichi tightly to him. "But I really can't stay here, Ryuichi. They would come looking for you, and I don't want you in the middle of my problem." There was a dreading silence, and at first, Aizawa thought his beloved paramour had fallen asleep -for one with so much energy, he tired easily- but Ryuichi lifted his head, relieving Aizawa of his initial idea.
· "Then..we won't have to be in the middle of anything! We'll go away..together.." There was hopefulness in his voice, but Aizawa couldn't believe it even if he wanted to; no matter how much he argued, Ryuichi belonged in Japan with the crowd that loved him, not with a fugitive in seclusion.
· "Iie..Ryuichi..you belong here..not with me."
· "Demo..I want to be with you! Nothing else matters to me, Aizawa. I-I still have a place in America..we can go there! No one would ever think of looking-" Aizawa placed a finger to his lips and shook his head.
· "Iie! That's final, Ryuichi. I'm not going to force you to give all this up! You're Sakuma Ryuichi!"
· "I'd give it all up for you.." There were tears streaking his cheeks and splashing onto Aizawa's skin. He tried to withhold a sob. "Why don't you want to be with me? Is it..is it because.." The singer clung to his younger lover, crying uncontrollably, and Aizawa caressed his back.
· "Iie..it's not you, Ryuichi. You're more important to me than anything have ever known, but I will not take you from all that you are-"
· "YOU'RE ALL THAT I AM!" he shouted, glistening drops shimmering in the shadows as he stared down at him. "Why can't you understand that, Aizawa?! I know people see me as a god and sometimes as a child, but..but I'm a real person, too. I have needs, too, and I need you..let's runaway together..let me be with you..onegai?" Aizawa felt his heart breaking into pieces, and he reached up, wiping at his liquefied grief.
· "It's not a matter of asking. I would give my life to stay here with you, but I can't. If you are so insistent on leaving, then let me go alone, Ryuichi. Send me to America, and I'll wait for you until all of this is forgotten and we can be together again..don't make this harder than it already is.."
· 'But I did, Aizawa..I made it so much harder than it ever had to be,' he thought, blinking down at the blurring picture as a single drop slid over the golden wax. 'And..I failed you..you slipped away and now..kami-sama, why did you ever have to love me?'
· TBC-
His breathing was erratic as he ran, eyes shut and a cry threatening to tear itself from his throat. He could not see in the dark, but the one he wanted to reach was like a beacon, drawing him forward past the anguish and pain though it haunted his every waking hour. He had no one else to turn to, his band members had abandoned him after the terrible thing he had done to a rival who was stealing everything he'd worked his entire life to have. Now, only the man who walked in a world of his own could help him, the one who would never turn him away despite his weaknesses. His trembling fingers smashed in the doorbell even as the remainder of his body tripped up the steps, and although he wasn't the praying type, he pleaded with all the gods he knew for him to be there. The house slowly creaked open, bed-mussed brown hair peeking out from within, and eyes glittering with happiness immediately altered into surprise.
"A-Ai-chan?" he asked, blinking in confusion as the door fell open completely, and Sakuma Ryuichi caught the other as he tumbled down onto his knees, concern washing over his face.
· "R-Ryu-chan..I..I..oh, kami-sama.." He was afraid to find himself weeping in his lover's arms, but he was and Ryuichi just held him, not asking any questions although they were embracing tightly on his porch, in plain view of anyone who wished to see. "Ryu-chan.."
· "What is it, Ai-chan? What's wrong? Did something happen-"
· "Seguchi Tohma..he-he tried to..he tried.." The words stuck in his throat, and Aizawa buried his nose against the warm skin of Ryuichi's neck, refusing to relive the experience of almost meeting his death. The sound of a car screeching to a sudden halt would forever haunt him.
· "Nandai o? Ai-chan, what are you talking about? Tohma wouldn't do anything-"
· "It's all my fault, Ryuichi! It's all my fault..if I hadn't been jealous of Shindou-san and..oh, kami-sama! I screwed up, and my life is over!" The smaller singer gathered Aizawa closer to him, cradling his head against his chest as though he could absorb the pain into himself.
· "Never believe that, Aizawa. It's not over until there is nothing left for you to do, and that isn't an option. Whatever Tohma did, I'm sure it was for a good reason-" Aizawa lurched away from Ryuichi, a scowl on his lips and his eyes redder that usual from crying.
· "He pushed me in front of a damn car, Ryuichi! Is that a good reason to you?!" The other singer gaped at him for a moment, unbelieving that his friend as well as partner for Nittle Grasper would do something so unethical, and he pursed his mouth before tilting Aizawa's face to look at him.
· "I would never, never hurt you, Ai-chan..you're too important to me..I'll talk to Tohma and ask him why-"
· "You already know why, Ryuichi! That damn writer..do you know what Seguchi-san told me? He said-" Aizawa was promptly but off by a pair of avid lips questing for silence, and the vocalist for ASK melted willingly into the thin arms holding him voluntarily prisoner as he sighed into the contact. This was the only secret Ryuichi refused to share with anyone else; he and Aizawa had found solace within each other and no one could understand them better. This was his own personal joy, having Aizawa -headstrong, brash, and always defiant- liquefying in his grasp, and the dark-haired soloist always made the most delightful sounds with his exquisite, bass voice. Their meeting had been a complete accident, they had known each other less than a month, but Ryuichi confided everything to him, realizing that Aizawa might have been his soul mate in a world free from sin and full of love.
· "Does it matter, Ai-chan? Can you honestly say that it does?" he asked after pulling away, his senses filled with the touch, taste, and feel of Tachi Aizawa, the 'untouchable' of *The Untouchable*. Crimson red eyes stared into his soul, making him shiver, and Aizawa smiled, though it was sad and filled with grief.
· "I won't have a career anymore, Ryuichi..my reputation no longer exists to anyone."
· "Demo..Demo..it does to me, Aizawa..it always has..can't we talk this out? I..I don't want you to leave or..it'll be like it was without you, and I can't stand being alone-" Aizawa pressed a tender kiss to his lips to silence him.
· "Urasai," he murmured softly, touching his forehead to Ryuichi's. "You won't be alone..there are too many people in love with you. You're the great Sakuma Ryuichi." Tears were welling up within those azure depths, and the petite man chewed on his lip.
· "I don't want to be if it means I'll lose you..Ai-chan, you're the only thing that's mine." It was ironic to hear him say that particular phrase, after all, Ryuichi had everything he desired and more, but none of it truly belonged to him -because he didn't want it- and he couldn't afford to risk the one object he cherished more than anything.
· "Is that true?" Aizawa asked, already knowing the answer, and he reached around Ryuichi, pushing him closer with a hand on the small of his back.
· "Hai..every word."
· "Hounto ni?" They were only millimeters apart now and Ryuichi was unintentionally shivering, his clothes unsuitable for the cool night air; he was only clad in a pair of loose shorts too large for his slim hips and a shirt with a ripped midriff and no sleeves. He nodded his head numbly, surrendering more quickly to the other's advances, and they were frantically clawing at each other, their fear evaporating beneath desire. Aizawa reclined with Ryuichi squirming excitedly under him, a lean body arching up to touch the firm muscles beneath the jacket and red shirt of his partner, and hot mouths met in a rage of heat, sending sparks through their vision. Ryuichi threw his head back, hitting it softly against the hard wood of the hallway and cried out when Aizawa slipped his hand below the fragmented clothing he called a shirt to skim it over his flawless chest even as he nipped his way along his jaw. The smallest contact always set his senses aflame, and despite Aizawa being younger than him by almost nine years, he dominated him, loving the feel of control, and Ryuichi loved surrendering.
· "M-matte, Aizawa..we're..the door..people can see," he gasped, slender fingers clutching at the younger man's back.
· "Let them see," he replied in a ghostly whisper, blowing his hot breath over Ryuichi's ear. "I want them to know I'm the only one that's ever had Sakuma Ryuichi like this." And, it was true although Aizawa hadn't been his first; he was a pop star, a god in the eyes of many, and it had been expected of him almost like a written law, but he had never wanted it..until he'd met Tachi Aizawa, lead singer of the newest band sensation ASK. Ryuichi meshed against his lover, moaning to the sky and the shadowed ceiling as Aizawa slipped lower, the apartment door swinging slowly back and forth.
· * * *
· Shuichi sat numbly in the hospital waiting room chair, teeth nervously chewing through the wooden pocky stick since he was unaware that the thin cookie was no longer there. Blue eyes filled with unshed tears looked up repeatedly every few seconds, searching for any signs of a doctor to tell them of Hiro's condition, and Shuichi found himself jumping at any small sound. Suguru was patiently sitting across from him with a serious expression on his face, and K remained motionless as he stood leaning against the wall beside Bad Luck's keyboardist, arms crossed and features stoic. Sakano was pacing back and forth across the floor, wearing a gouge into the linoleum.
· The only one who seemed as lost as the pink-haired singer was Ryuichi, who sat on the floor with his legs stretched out and his hand holding a bandage securely to the bend in his left arm. When each of them had been asked to donate blood in case Hiro needed it, Shuichi had instantly jumped at the question, begging for the nurses to jab as many needles into him -though he hated any sharp objects- necessary to save his best friend. Ryuichi, however, had been the only positive match, and he'd shoved his bare arm out as if performing some great duty, fearlessness shining in his narrowed eyes. Afterward, Shuichi had curled into a ball on a chair and cried into his knees until the Nittle Grasper God had returned, offering him some pocky he had somehow procured, and they'd shared it though Ryuichi liked chocolate more than strawberry.
· The younger vocalist bit his lip in thought before slipping to the floor and moving towards Ryuichi, sitting erect on his legs until he was noticed, and he promptly curled against him for comfort, being welcome without a word as Ryuichi slid his arm around Shuichi's shaking shoulders. The boy realized that a few years ago this would have been a distant and unreachable dream -to meet and actually touch Sakuma Ryuichi- but now that he knew him, Shuichi was glad to know Ryuichi was just a person like him with weaknesses just like everyone else. Fair pink mingled with muddy green as Shuichi laid his head against the other's shoulder, and Ryuichi had the sudden urge to cheer him up, disliking it when anyone around him was sad, though he was suffering from a grief beyond normality. He withdrew his favorite gold glittery crayon and sat up -no longer using the front of a chair for support- absently drawing on a magazine crumpled on the carpet beside him. Shuichi was still holding onto him, though he was watching, and Ryuichi dismissed it, his heart breaking. He liked the Bad Luck singer -Shuichi reminded him so much of himself when he'd been younger- but was all the pain he'd suffered worth the friendship?
· He didn't know.
· 'Childish thoughts,' he cursed to himself, scribbling in the hair of the person he was drawing, making them shine with bright speckles of yellow. He was no visual artist, but in his mind's eye it looked exactly like.. 'Stop thinking these stupid things, Ryuichi. It's not worth it-' He tried concentrating on something else, and for the briefest second, he thought of his new friend, Uesugi Tatsuha. He really enjoyed Tatsuha's company despite the youth's uncontrolled awe of being around him, but it would be for both their benefit if they never met again. Every time he looked at him, Ryuichi was instantly reminded of someone he missed more than words could explain. He shook his head and scribbled harder, digging the crayon into the glossy paper. 'Tatsuha isn't Aizawa..Tatsuha will never be..Aizawa..Ai-chan..' He blinked, feeling the tears surface, and even though he knew it was un-Ryuichi-like, he couldn't help it as he remembered making the worst mistake of his life.
· Their breathing was slowed and they had somehow managed to move partially into the apartment where prying eyes could not see them. Ryuichi lay snuggled up to the taller man's body, sighing contentedly though his soul was slowly dissolving into non-existent pieces. Aizawa had his arm wrapped around the petite vocalist's bare back, softly stroking the moist skin, and he stared at him for a moment before speaking, breaking the unbearable silence.
· "I can't stay here anymore, Ryu-chan," he murmured, nuzzling his nose against Ryuichi's cheek. "They'll hunt me down, and.." Aizawa trailed off, not wishing to finish what he had been thinking. There would be prison, public humiliation, and the destruction of ASK, but most of all, he would be placing Ryuichi in a dangerous as well as vulnerable position. Ryuichi, half-giggling in secluded bliss, reached up and placed a wet kiss at the end of Aizawa's nose before smiling brightly at him.
· "You can stay here with Ryuichi and Kumagoro-san! We'll hide you and keep you safe!" he whispered enthusiastically, mysteriously pulling the small bunny from the dark surrounding them. Aizawa couldn't resist the grin that fell upon his face and sighed; he'd forgotten how playful Ryuichi could get after making love.
· "I can't hide, Ryu-chan..especially not here. I have to go away." The legendary singer looked at him with huge eyes.
· "Demo..Kumagoro-san would miss you, and Ryuichi wouldn't know how to fix him..Kumagoro-san loves Ai-chan." Aizawa's lips trembled when he heard the words, and he gently tugged the stuffed animal from his lover's grasp to stare at its eternally red-stitched smile, pink nose, and beady coal eyes.
· "Aizawa loves Kumagoro-san, too," he spoke, feeling slightly foolish for talking to a toy, but he turned his head to look directly at Ryuichi, resting the bunny between them. "Demo..do you think Kumagoro-san would be jealous if I said that I loved Ryuichi more?" Despite the black shadows, Aizawa knew the other was blushing, and Ryuichi lifted Kumagoro-san up to examine him.
· "Iie. Kumagoro-san isn't jealous..he's happy and..so am I..Aizawa." Ryuichi moved against him, capturing his lips with his own in a thrilled kiss, and they clung to each other after it ended, Ryuichi's face pressed to Aizawa's naked chest.
· "I'm glad," the dark haired vocalist murmured, squeezing Ryuichi tightly to him. "But I really can't stay here, Ryuichi. They would come looking for you, and I don't want you in the middle of my problem." There was a dreading silence, and at first, Aizawa thought his beloved paramour had fallen asleep -for one with so much energy, he tired easily- but Ryuichi lifted his head, relieving Aizawa of his initial idea.
· "Then..we won't have to be in the middle of anything! We'll go away..together.." There was hopefulness in his voice, but Aizawa couldn't believe it even if he wanted to; no matter how much he argued, Ryuichi belonged in Japan with the crowd that loved him, not with a fugitive in seclusion.
· "Iie..Ryuichi..you belong here..not with me."
· "Demo..I want to be with you! Nothing else matters to me, Aizawa. I-I still have a place in America..we can go there! No one would ever think of looking-" Aizawa placed a finger to his lips and shook his head.
· "Iie! That's final, Ryuichi. I'm not going to force you to give all this up! You're Sakuma Ryuichi!"
· "I'd give it all up for you.." There were tears streaking his cheeks and splashing onto Aizawa's skin. He tried to withhold a sob. "Why don't you want to be with me? Is it..is it because.." The singer clung to his younger lover, crying uncontrollably, and Aizawa caressed his back.
· "Iie..it's not you, Ryuichi. You're more important to me than anything have ever known, but I will not take you from all that you are-"
· "YOU'RE ALL THAT I AM!" he shouted, glistening drops shimmering in the shadows as he stared down at him. "Why can't you understand that, Aizawa?! I know people see me as a god and sometimes as a child, but..but I'm a real person, too. I have needs, too, and I need you..let's runaway together..let me be with you..onegai?" Aizawa felt his heart breaking into pieces, and he reached up, wiping at his liquefied grief.
· "It's not a matter of asking. I would give my life to stay here with you, but I can't. If you are so insistent on leaving, then let me go alone, Ryuichi. Send me to America, and I'll wait for you until all of this is forgotten and we can be together again..don't make this harder than it already is.."
· 'But I did, Aizawa..I made it so much harder than it ever had to be,' he thought, blinking down at the blurring picture as a single drop slid over the golden wax. 'And..I failed you..you slipped away and now..kami-sama, why did you ever have to love me?'
· TBC-