Gundam SEED Fan Fiction / Gundam Seed Destiny Fan Fiction ❯ Storm of Emotion ❯ troubled ( Chapter 3 )

Disbelief completely surrounded Lacus. Even after Kira's plane had taken off she just stayed where she was. Her body felt so numb and cold. `He's gone!' was the only thing that she kept screaming in her mind.

 

The sound of footsteps approaching her reached her ears but she didn't even make a move even though she knew exactly who was there. `Why? Why couldn't I have just been more honest with myself earlier?' she asked herself as the tears once again took over.

 

As they approached Lacus, Athrun and Cagalli couldn't help but notice the tears that were running down her face. It was like a vice was squeezing their hearts in that one moment. Neither of them had ever seen Lacus actually cry. She'd always kept that part of her a secret from everyone but Kira. Yet now she was crying as if there was no tomorrow and it hurt them to see it.

 

`I never thought things would turn out like this between the two of them,' Athrun thought to himself as he kneeled next to Lacus and placed a hand on her shoulder. He felt her tense up but she didn't pull away.

 

“Lacus,” Cagalli said in a voice barely above a whisper. This caused Lacus to turn and look at Cagalli and her heart clenched painfully again at the pained look on Lacus's face. Then before she could act, Lacus grabbed a hold of her and started to cry into her shirt. Cagalli didn't know what to do because she'd never actually seen Lacus in such a state. So all she did was just wrap Lacus in a hug to try and console her.

 

“Come on Lacus. Why don't we leave and get out of everyone's way,” Athrun carefully suggested. He saw Lacus nod and gave her a sad smile as he helped her off the ground and led her towards the car.

 

By the time that they got to the car Lacus's tears had stopped. Yet despite this she didn't say even a word during the entire walk there. She just kept her head down and her tear stained eyes facing towards the ground as they walked towards the car.

 

Cagalli sighed as she sat down in the passenger seat. “I really don't know what to do Athrun. I've never seen her like this,” she said quietly when Athrun sat down behind the wheel. She looked back at Lacus as she just stared out the window at an airplane that was taking off with blank eyes.

 

“I have no idea what to do about this either. I've known her a lot longer than either you or Kira and yet I've never seen her like this. Even in all the time we've known each other. she never showed me this side of her. She only showed it to Kira and he was the only one who could deal with it. We can't rely on him now though since it appears that he wants nothing to do with her anymore,” Athrun explained and saw as Lacus flinched at the mention of Kira's name.

 

`I was always so sure that the two of them were meant to be ever since they first met. Kira pretty much fell in love with her at first sight and Lacus always put more faith in him than anyone else. Why did it have to end like this though?' she asked herself as she remembered the first time that the two of them first met. `It was the first day I met Athrun and it was the first day he met Lacus.'

 

***Flashback***

 

It was finally here, the first day of high school. Cagalli and Kira went walking through the front door. Cagalli didn't look too happy about having to come back to school after the summer ended but Kira looked rather enthusiastic about all of it. `Of course he would, he does good in a school. He barely even has to try to succeed,' Cagalli thought rolling her eyes as they headed towards their assigned lockers.

 

Turning towards her brother, she saw that he appeared to be looking for something. “What's up? If you keep turning your head that quickly it will end up falling right off,” Cagalli teased with a grin.

 

“Oh I was just looking for my friend Athrun. He said that he was going to be going here as well and I was just wondering if he had gotten here yet or not,” Kira replied as he continued to look around.

 

Cagalli had heard of Athrun before then but she had never actually met him. Kira had met him a several years ago and the two of them had become really good friends. She heard that he lived nearby but went to a different school than the one her and Kira and gone to before then.

 

“Athrun!” Kira yelled out all of a sudden which caused Cagalli to break out of her thought and making her jump a bit. She then turned to see who Kira was yelling to and felt her face heat up when she saw a handsome dark blue haired man walking towards the two of them.

 

“Hey there Kira, I was beginning to wonder when you were going to show up,” Athrun said as he slapped hands with Kira. He then turned towards Cagalli and gave her a smile. “You must be Cagalli. Kira's told me a lot about you,” he continued holding out his hand to her.

 

“Yeah, pleasure to meet you,” Cagalli said slowly as she took his hand. The thing was that he didn't shake it; instead he brought it up to his lips and kissed the back of it like a gentleman used to do. This caused Cagalli to heat up a bit and Kira to grow a bit annoyed.

 

“Excuse me, but don't you have a fiancée?” Kira asked in annoyance seeing his best friend flirting with his sister. He found it rather disturbing. “Arranged or not she's still the one that you're supposed to marry,” Kira said narrowing his eyes at Athrun as the other man dropped Cagalli's hand.

 

“Protective I see,” Athrun said with amusement giving Kira an amused look. “First off problems arose and the idea ended up being dropped. I never intended to marry her though. I've always saw her as a sister and it would've been too weird to marry her,” Athrun said to get rid of the accusing look Kira was sending him. “Second I was only greeting your sister the way a true gentleman should greet a lady,” he said with a confident look.

 

The look on Kira's face said that he didn't completely buy Athrun's answer from what Cagalli could tell. Yet at the same time he ended up dropping the subject. “Didn't you say that she was going to be coming here as well?” Kira asked which Athrun nodded to in response.

 

“Yeah, I was actually just talking to her before you got here. Do you the two of you want to meet her?” he asked and the two of them nodded their head. “Hey Lacus! Come here!” Athrun yelled from the direction that he'd just come walking from.

 

Kira and Cagalli look in that direction. There was a crowd of men standing around there and it appeared that they were trying to flirt with someone neither of them could see. The person in the middle of it came squeezing out and gave a relieved look that she was free of all those guys.

 

“Oh boy, she hates it when people do that yet she can never seem to tell them to stop,” Athrun murmured before turning towards Kira and Cagalli. Both were staring at Lacus intently as she walked towards them.

 

When he looked at Kira he couldn't help but notice the small blush that crossed his face at the mere sight of the pink haired woman walking towards them. “I'm sure the two of you will get along great with her,” Athrun said looking between the two of them back and forth.

 

Cagalli looked at the approaching and couldn't help but think how perfect she looked at first sight. `She carries herself so smoothly. That smile on her face seems so calm as if she didn't have a single bad thought in the world. She has such a pure and innocent look around her almost as if she's something that shouldn't be touched,' she thought before turning to look at Kira. She saw the exact same look that Athrun saw and couldn't help but smirk.

 

Lacus calmly walked over and came to a stop next to Athrun. “Why hello there. You must be the friend that Athrun was talking about,” Lacus said looking towards Kira which just made him blush even more but she didn't take much notice in it.

 

“Yes, he is,” Athrun said with a smile. “This is Kira Yamato. He's been a best friend for years. Pity the two of you haven't been able to meet before now. The two of you are a lot alike so I'm sure you will get along great. The woman next to him is his twin sister Cagalli,” he said before turning his attention to Kira and Cagalli. “This is Lacus Clyne,” he said once again taking notice of Kira's reaction again.

 

“It's a pleasure to meet the two of you. I hope that we'll be able to be good friends,” Lacus said politely while shaking Cagalli's hand. She then turned to Kira and did the exact same thing.

 

Something came over Kira in that moment and he did the exact same thing that Athrun did earlier that day. Instead of just shaking her hand he brought it up and laid a small kiss on the back of it. He saw the smug look Athrun was giving him because of what he said earlier but ended up not saying anything.

 

Lacus just smiled not even looking the least bit flustered, almost as if she was expecting it or was at least used to such an action. “I've heard much about you from Athrun. You're just as he said you'd be. So I know we'll get along great,” she said giving him a smile that everyone else noticed he became very flustered with.

 

Cagalli couldn't help but smile at Kira. `Seems like love at first sight for him. I can't tell what she thinks though,' Cagalli thought with a smile of her own as the four of them walked towards their homeroom when the bell rang. It was surprising to all of them that it was the same one so she knew she had plenty of time to get to know Athrun and Lacus.

 

***End Flashback***

 

After that the four of them became the best of friends. Kira and Lacus seemed to grow close to each other very quickly. The two of them seemed almost inseparable which is why Cagalli always saw it as a big shame that the two of them never became a couple. `I know that they would've been very happy if they did,' she thought with a sigh as she watched the scenery passing by.

 

She turned to look at Lacus as saw her looking exactly the same as the last time she looked. The woman seemed almost like a statue rather than anything else. “Lacus?” Cagalli asked and the only response was a slight shifting of Lacus's eyes to show that she'd heard Cagalli. “Why'd you do it? Why'd you run away?” she felt like she had to ask despite the situation.

 

“I really don't think now is the time to be asking her questions Cagalli,” Athrun said because he didn't want to situation to become any worse than it already had. Much to his surprise though, a weak voice from the back started to speak.

 

“Because I didn't want to lose the friendship I had with him,” a sad and hurt voice said in response to Cagalli's question. “Everything had changed because of that one night. We could never have gone back to what we once had,” she continued to say in a quiet voice as she just stared out the window. “If I turned him down, there would always be this strain between us. That outcome would only be made worse though because of that night. If I accepted and we got together and it ended up failing then things would be even worse. It seemed like a lose-lose situation for me. Either way, there was a big chance that I could lose my best friend,” the weak voice finished.

 

“Yet what you did only made things worse. It's become as bad as it could possibly be for both of you. So it makes no sense why you had to chose to do that,” Cagalli responded with a bit of disappointment in her voice.

 

“I realized that too late. Nothing can take it back though, he's gone and he's not coming back,” Lacus said before she once again broke into tears. They just kept streaming down her face without any attempt on her part to stop them.

 

Cagalli opened her mouth to say something but one look from Athrun. It was a look that clearly stated that the discussion was over and that she wasn't going to say one more thing. She immediately closed her mouth and turned back forwards and just listened for the rest of the ride as Lacus cried her heart out.

 

*****

 

Things only got worse from there. Lacus had basically shut herself off from any contact with anyone. It didn't matter how much Cagalli tried to talk to her, Lacus just remained silent. Cagalli was just glad that finals ended before then or else she was sure that Lacus would've failed them all because of the fact she couldn't concentrate on anything.

 

Then came the day that they were all supposed to leave to go back home for the holidays. Cagalli and Athrun basically had to do all her packing for her or else they knew for a fact that she wouldn't do anything.

 

Cagalli had gone over to Athrun's place for a while leaving Lacus alone in their room. Lacus just sat alone on her bed with her knees tucked to her chest staring blankly at the wall that was in front of her.

 

She finally moved and swung her feet over the side of the bed before standing up and walking towards the door. It was odd for her to go out since then but she always just wondered aimlessly without any thoughts on her mind.

 

Somehow Lacus found herself standing outside Athrun's room. The door was open and Lacus found her feet moving on their own as they led her into the room. It was very different from what she remembered without any of Kira's things there. `And they never will be there again either,' she thought as her body shook in sadness.

 

Voices reached her ears and she walked over towards Athrun's room where she heard talking. There was a crack in the door and she looked in and saw the two of them. “I'm worried about her Athrun. She's changed; she's not the Lacus she once was. I can't help but wonder just how long this is going to go on,” Cagalli said from her seat on the stripped bed.

 

“I guess it will only be fixed when they get over this. I tried asking Kira to talk to her but he keeps hanging up right after I said that. I'm not sure either of them will get over this anytime soon,” Athrun said in a tired voice as he placed some more clothes in the suitcase in front of him.

 

`He really does hate me,' Lacus thought as her body shook while a few small tears ran down her face. She stepped away from the door and looked at the door next to it. `Kira's room,' she thought as she walked over to it and inside.

 

Nostalgia hit her hard when she walked into it. Images of that night crept into her head and made her heart hurt several times worse than before. A few more tears crept out as she fell onto the bed. It was the bed her and Kira did it on, the bed that she lost her virginity on, the bed that come next semester would belong to someone else.

 

`I can still smell his scent on the bed,' Lacus thought as a hint of a smile crossed her face but the tears didn't stop, in fact they just seemed to get worse. `Why couldn't I have been more honest? If I had then he would still be here,' she thought burying her face in the mattress taking in the scent that seemed to calm her heart.

 

The room was nothing like it once was while Kira lived in it. It was so plain and empty without his stuff there. Yet in that plain room something stood out. A small package wrapped in colorful wrapping paper.

 

Lacus looked at it for a second before leaving the comfort of the bed and walking over to it. “He left something,” she said quietly before picking up the gift. She took notice of the bend in the box and wondered what it was about before she looked at the card. `To Lacus' the card said and Lacus's eyes widened before she opened the card and read what was inside, `with all my love.'

 

That did it in for Lacus. She collapsed onto the floor clutching the gift tightly to her chest. `I'm sorry Kira, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!' she continued to scream in her head as she let the tears loose once again. She found that she cried more in the past few days than she did in her entire life.

 

*****

 

Christmas was supposed to be a happy time. Instead, it was downright depressing without Kira and with Lacus as depressed as she was. Little by little it just seemed to becoming worse and worse.

 

“Come on Lacus! It's Christmas, you've have to at least eat dinner with everyone,” Cagalli pleaded to the girl who was just lying on her bed. Cagalli noticed the still wrapped present that was in Lacus's hands. “What do you have there?” she asked reaching out for the present.

 

“No!” Lacus yelled clutching onto it tighter. Even though she knew it was for her, Lacus couldn't bring herself to open it. She didn't feel like she was worthy of opening it after what she did to Kira. `This is for the one he loved, and I'm sure not that person anymore,' she thought sadly but either way she also couldn't bring herself to let it go.

 

Cagalli jumped a bit with how loud Lacus just yelled. “You know, presents are meant to be opened,” Cagalli said and Lacus just shook her head no. `Wait a minute,' she thought looking at the gift and recognizing the wrapping paper. “Is that the present from Kira?” she asked and Lacus slowly nodded her head. `I didn't think he'd still give it to her,' she thought looking at Lacus curiously.

 

“I found it left behind in his room. It's says it's for me but I don't even deserve it. Not after what I did at least,” she said the last person very silently that Cagalli almost wasn't able to hear it.

 

“That's for sure,” Cagalli said bluntly making Lacus flinch. “But that's only if that's what you think. I guess it really depends on how you really feel about him whether you'll be worthy or not. I'd like to know that as well. Maybe if you start being sincere about your feeling he might forgive you,” Cagalli said narrowing her eyes towards Lacus as if just daring her to lie.

 

“I still don't know,” was all that Lacus could say. There was a part of her that just wanted to just say that she did love him but another part still didn't know what her feelings for him were. The looks that she got from Cagalli because of her answer made her flinch.

 

“Are you still saying that?!” Cagalli growled out in response. `I can't believe her. She's been acting like the world is coming to an end and moaning about how much she misses him and hated herself for doing what she did. And yet she still keeps saying that she doesn't know?!' Cagalli was mentally screaming as she glared at Lacus.

 

With another growl, Cagalli turned and stormed out of the room. She was too frustrated to deal with the sorrowful Lacus at that moment. `Why can't she just be honest with herself?!' she thought with another growl.

 

*****

 

The three of them went back to the university a few weeks later. To Lacus, nothing seemed right or fun about in anymore. She knew it was because Kira wasn't there anymore. The two of them always made sure that they had the same classes together so that they'd be able to talk to one another. He wasn't there though and her classes felt so lonely because of that.

 

As February came along, things just hadn't gotten any better. `She looks so lost,' Cagalli thought looking at Lacus who was walking next to her towards their next class. `Sure she goes to class everyday but that's only because she has to. She's barely eating, hardly sleeps, and her health seems to be getting worse because of those. This depression she's in just isn't doing her any good and it only seems to be getting worse,' she thought while trying to think of anyway she could help her friend.

 

Cagalli had long since forgiven Lacus and things were getting back to normal for them. Cagalli found that she just couldn't stay mad at Lacus while seeing how tormented Lacus looked about the situation.

 

Cagalli looked over Lacus's figure. It was nothing like it used to be. Her skin was very pale and there were slight bags under her eyes. `Must be from her sickness. Anyone would get sick after not eating or sleeping for several days. I've tried to talk to get her to but she never seems to listen to me anymore,' Cagalli thought growing a bit more worried that something bad was going to happen if Lacus didn't snap out of her depression.

 

`Let's see, what is there that I can do. Her birthday is the day after tomorrow. Maybe I can throw her a party. Then again, she did say that she didn't want to celebrate this year since Kira wouldn't be there. I think that's all the more reason to though. I'll have to talk to Athrun about it when I see him,' she thought figuring that it might be a good idea.

 

“Hey Lacus, go ahead to class. I just remembered that I had something important to do so I'm skipping for today,” Cagalli said and Lacus just nodded and kept walking. `I'm not even sure she heard me,' she thought with a frown.

 

Cagalli ran in the direction that she knew Athrun was in since he told her where he was going earlier. When she got there she spotted him almost immediately and ran up to him. “Hey Athrun,” she said taking a quick moment to catch her breath.

 

Athrun looked over and saw his girlfriend standing in front of him. This confused him so he looked at his watch and saw what time it was. “Oh, hey Cagalli. What are you doing here? Don't you have class?” he asked looking at her curiously.

 

“I do but I skipped for today. There was something I needed to talk to you about,” Cagalli said before she went on to explain her plan to him. “So what do you think? Do you think it will be enough to get her out of this depression she's in?” Cagalli asked with a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

 

“As much as I wish to saw it will, I doubt it will work. Lacus has made it clear she has no intention of celebrating it this year. Though we've always thrown her a party it was always Kira that was behind it and Lacus has always loved it most because of that. I'm afraid it might make it worse for her if we did have a party this year since it will probably just remind her that Kira isn't here anymore. I think that's the reason she decided not to have on in the first place,” Athrun explained with a frown at the look of disappointment on Cagalli's face.

 

Though Cagalli hated it, she realized that he was right. All of Lacus's birthdays before now were between her and Kira for the most part. So having a party without him while she was in such a delicate state might make things worse. “I don't want to do nothing though!” Cagalli growled out in frustration.

 

“I realize that. I've already made plans for that problem though,” he said finding it hard to look Cagalli in the eyes. “I know that you're not going to be happy about them though,” he said with a sigh.

 

“How can I not be happy if it might help Lacus?” Cagalli asked him but saw that he wasn't looking at her. “What did you do exactly? It's not like Kira's going to suddenly show up and forgive Lacus. Nothing we do works on her. What could possibly make her happy enough to get her out of this problem she has?” she asked before she started to get what Athrun was trying to say. “Oh hell no!” she yelled as she glared at the guy who coward back a little at the fury in her eyes.

 

“Please Cagalli, you need to understand. I know it's the cause of this whole mess but I'm going to look out for her well being first and foremost! If we don't do everything we can for her then this depression she's in might only get worse!” Athrun yelled out in his defense. “Besides, I already asked,” he said and Cagalli glared at him.

 

“I don't care! Have you ever thought that it might make the situation between Kira and Lacus even worse should he find out about it?! It could end up making things worse in the long run!” Cagalli continued to yell.

 

“But if we don't do something right now, I fear that Lacus might do something drastic and that there will be no long run,” Athrun said in a quieter yet more serious voice since he knew that this situation called for more drastic matters.

 

Cagalli quieted down since she knew that Athrun was right. Lacus didn't even seem to care that she was making herself sick with how she wasn't eating or sleeping much these last few weeks. She too feared that Lacus's health might get worse and that she might die.

 

“Maybe Lacus just needs to confront her feelings before she will get to realize the truth. Maybe I'm being to optimistic but I'm willing to take the chance,” he said softly and he could tell from the look in Cagalli's eyes that she was giving in. “Let's just see what happens and hope for the best,” he said and was glad when Cagalli nodded her head in agreement.

 

*****

 

`Another lousy day,' Lacus thought sadly as she made her way out of the classroom. `Class just isn't as fun without Kira around to take them with me,' she continued to think as she headed towards the dorms.

 

Unknown to Lacus a hand reached out towards her. She then felt a tapping on her shoulder and slowly looked behind her. Who she saw wasn't who she was expecting since she saw Derek standing there with a smile on his face.

 

Lacus hadn't talked to Derek since she first confessed to him that she liked him. All her troubles though made her completely forget about him. “Oh hello,” she said softly in a weak sounding voice.

 

“I heard you weren't doing too good and wanted to see you. We haven't talked to each other in a while and I was worried,” he said looking at her pale face as she stared at him with such sad and haunting eyes.

 

“I'm fine. Please don't worry about me,” Lacus said giving him a smile that was clearly forced. It had been months since she actually shown a hint of a true smile. She tried to get people to leave her alone by giving off this smile but it was clearly too forced to be real and no one believed her.

 

“You sure don't look fine. Where the hell is Yamato? He should be looking after your health!” he said before noticing that Lacus body went ridged at the mention of the name of the one that did this to her.

 

“H-he's gone. He transferred last semester and isn't coming back,” Lacus said in a choked voice. She hated having to keep thinking about it but it was all that kept flowing through her mind ever since he left and it hurt her badly.

 

“He's a damn fool,” Derek growled with a scowl on his face. “Anyways, I'm sorry about how things turned out before Lacus. I honestly didn't know she was your friend until she told me that night,” he said honestly. He couldn't help but feel guilty feeling it was his fault that she was like this.

 

“It's quite alright. I honestly haven't given it a second thought. I've had so much on my mind that I completely forgot about it,” Lacus said looking towards the ground as flashes of that night went through Lacus head like when she caught them and when her and Kira did it. It all kept being shown to her.

 

Derek felt relieved knowing that it wasn't his fault but he still felt really bad. “I'd like to make it up to you Lacus. I know it's a little early for your birthday but how would you like to go out tonight? Don't worry about Megan. It became a bit weird after that night and we eventually broke up,” he said to her hesitantly.

 

“Go on a date with you?” Lacus asked which got her a nod in return. `I've always wanted this. Yet at the same time I'm not like I expected I would be when he asked me,' she thought before answering, “Sure,” she said trying to give him a smile but it still came out forced. `Why doesn't it feel right for me to do this?'

 

“Great! Why don't I pick you up at seven? We'll grab a bite to eat and then head to the movies or something,” he suggested and she just slowly nodded her head. He didn't notice just how reluctant she looked when she answered him. “I'll see you tonight then. Right now I have a class to get to though. Bye!” he said before rushing off so that he wouldn't be late for class.

 

Lacus couldn't understand why she wasn't as excited as she always thought she would be. `Maybe I can figure it out tonight,' she thought before turning back in the direction of her dorm. She then started to walk there and didn't stop until she finally fell onto her bed.

 

*****

 

Cagalli watched as Lacus slowly walked around the room and got ready for her date. `She sure doesn't seem all that happy even though she's always wanted this,' Cagalli thought with a frown. `Even if Athrun set this up I'm still not happy about it,' she continued to think.

 

Lacus stopped what she was doing and looked at Cagalli. The eyes she looked at the other woman with were still those sad and haunting eyes that they had been the last two months. `Maybe this is what she'll need though in order to find out her true feelings for Kira,' she thought since it didn't seem that Lacus had the same feelings for Derek that she once had.

 

Lacus held out two outfits towards Cagalli, a red and a blue one. Cagalli was shocked because as far as she was concerned, she didn't know even a little bit about fashion. “Um… the red,” she said only because she new that Kira would've liked her in the blue since it matched her eyes. She'd rather not let Derek have the better one since he was the cause of this huge mess.

 

Lacus just nodded her head without a second thought and put the other outfit. Cagalli couldn't believe that Lacus had asked her for advice on fashion. `The world must be coming to an end,' Cagalli thought with a chuckle.

 

Lacus came to a stop and leaned against her dresser as dizziness washed over her. It passed quickly but she didn't move. `Why am I not happy? Isn't this what I always wanted?' she asked herself again.

 

“Are you alright Lacus?” Cagalli asked standing up from her bed to approach the pink haired woman. She saw Lacus nod her head. “Are you sure you want to go? I'm sure he won't mind if you don't,” Cagalli said in a worried tone.

 

“Why wouldn't I want to go? I mean, I've wanted this for a while,” Lacus said trying to give off a smile that was obviously forced. The way she said it though clearly stated that she had doubts. Looking at Cagalli's face, Lacus could tell that Cagalli saw right through it.

 

“Let me guess, you wish you could be happy but each time you keep thinking of Kira,” Cagalli suggested and Lacus slowly nodded her head. Cagalli was absolutely thrilled by her answer. “So tell me, is it because you love him or you feel guilty?” Cagalli asked since she felt like she had to know.

 

“I…” Lacus started before she hesitated and looked towards the ground, “don't know,” she said slowly much to Cagalli's annoyance that the pink haired woman was still saying that. “I'm not even sure that I'm good enough to love him after what I did,” she said as she finished getting ready. “I know what you're going to say and please don't say it,” she interrupted when she saw that Cagalli was going to berate her again.

 

There was a knock on their door then and Lacus tried to give Cagalli a smile. “I better get going. I'll talk you later Cagalli,” Lacus said picking up her purse before walking to the door.

 

As expected Derek was behind the door. He smiled at her but didn't get much in return. “You look really nice Lacus. We should get going though. I made reservations so we should get going quickly,” he said and she nodded as he grabbed her hand and gently pulled her out the door but not before Lacus could say another quick goodbye before closing it behind her.

 

Cagalli watched them leave with a frown on her face. `I just hope that Kira doesn't find out about this. That would just be the final nail in the coffin to him,' she thought before walking over to her desk to get some work done.

 

*****

 

Lacus slowly walked behind Derek as he led her towards his car. She looked down at their joined hands. She didn't know what to think. All she could do was remember how warm, gentle, and comforting Kira's hands were when they went to the fair before he left. Yet it felt so different with Derek. His hands were rough, cold, and didn't bring the same comfort.

 

Without saying a word, Lacus got into the car when Derek opened it for her. She took her seat and fastened the seatbelt before he got into the drivers seat and did the same. Then the two of them were off.

 

Derek took his eyes off the clear road for a second to look at Lacus before turning back. “I know we'll have a great time tonight. I know things have been rough for you lately but I know I'm going to get a smile out of you by the end of the night,” he said positively as he continued to drive to the restaurant.

 

“Hey… um… do you think we could just go and get a hamburger or something? I really don't feel like going to one of those fancy restaurants,” Lacus said quietly while looking at her hands which were folded in her lap.

 

“Oh come on Lacus, I spent a lot of money to get a reservation here. The food is great, I'm sure you're going to love it,” he said with a smile without turning his eyes off the road to even look at her.

 

She was sure that he didn't plan to take her advice and frowned. `I'm sure Kira would've loved the idea,' she thought before getting frustrated at her thoughts. She shook her head quickly to rid herself of the thoughts of the man whose heart she broke. `Why am I thinking of him now when I'm on a date with Derek?'

 

The two of them pulled up to a restaurant several minutes later. Lacus got out of the car and looked at it with emotionless eyes. She'd heard of the place and had heard about how high quality the food was but that didn't make her all that happy. `I like things simple, Kira knows that,' she thought getting even more frustrated that he was still haunting her thoughts.

 

Derek smiled as he too stepped out of the car. “Well, let's get going Lacus,” he said taking a hold of her hand again. He was a bit upset when she didn't grab it back but ignored it. `She's been depressed, so I can't expect her to just jump for joy all of a sudden. I'm sure I can get her out of it though,' he thought smiling again before leading her into the restaurant.

 

The two of them were seated almost immediately. Derek pulled out Lacus's chair for her. She just sat down with a quiet thank you before he went to his side and took a seat. “So… how are you classes Lacus?” he asked hoping to start a conversation to end this silence between them.

 

Lacus was silent for several seconds while looking at the table decorations. The tablecloth was a deep crimson color and there were candles in the middle of the table which were already lit. It was a pretty simple design but she couldn't help but think it fit the place. “Fine,” she finally said after what seemed like several minutes to Derek.

 

“Not one for talking now I see,” he joked around to lighten the mood. “You know, I prefer the happy you. The one who wasn't afraid to talk or speak her mind,” he continued to say as a waiter came and handed them their menus.

 

`She died when Kira left,' Lacus thought as a larger frown crossed her face. It was silent after that until the waiter came back to take their orders. Derek ordered first and the waiter took his menu before turning to Lacus. “I'll just have a salad,” was all that Lacus said before handing back the menu.

 

The waiter was about to leave before Derek stopped him. “Come on Lacus, this is supposed to be a date. Order something more,” he said with a serious look on his face as he tried to look her directly in the eyes.

 

Lacus avoided eye contact and just sent the waiter away. “I'm fine. I'm not all that hungry anyways. So let's just drop this,” she said deciding to just stick with getting the salad. “I just don't have much of an appetite.”

 

“I have a lot of things planned for tonight and I just wanted to make sure you had the energy for it,” Derek said figure it was best not to piss her off right then. He wasn't sure what she would do if he did that.

 

“I'm fine!” Lacus reiterated a bit more strongly. It was probably the most emotions she'd shown in a while but both her and Derek knew that it wasn't the type of emotion everyone wanted her to show. “I'll be fine,” she said going back to the melancholy tone she'd been using.

 

The two of them just sat in silence until their food came. They then quickly ate before they decided to be moving on. They went back to the car and started on to the next destination that Derek had planned.

 

*****

 

Nothing had really changed about Lacus attitude by the time that Derek was pulling up in front of Lacus's dorm. She was just as melancholy as she was when he first picked her up.

 

`Why isn't she happy? I did everything I could to get a smile on her face,' he thought figuring that what he was about to do next would be all it took to get her out of this depression she was in.

 

“This has been a… nice night,” Lacus said even though she looked like she was just trying to be polite. “I'm rather tired now so I'm going to get to bed,” she said turning towards the dorm only to be stopped by Derek grabbing her wrist.

 

“I'm glad you think so. I was beginning to think I'd done something wrong,” Derek said in reply with a laugh. “Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about though…” he said before hesitating a bit. “Look… I like you… a lot,” he managed to get out looking a bit uneasy.

 

Lacus's eyes widened quite a bit at his sudden confession. Just two months ago she was in the same position as him, telling the other that she like him. Now he was the one telling her that he liked her.

 

“To tell the truth I've always liked you. The thing is that I didn't know how you felt and went out with Megan. That made it rather tough when you told me that you liked me. I'm sorry that I turned you down but I didn't want to be considered unfaithful to anyone. But now that I'm free I was wondering if you still want to be my girlfriend,” he said to a stunned Lacus.

 

Lacus knew that she should be happy about what was happening now. The one she had a crush on was telling her that he liked her and wanted her to be his girlfriend. “I…” she started but stopped with hesitation.

 

Derek looked at Lacus and saw how nervous she was. `Who could blame her? She's never had a boyfriend. Maybe I can make it easy for her though,' he thought placing his hands upon her shoulders before leaning in to kiss her.

 

Lacus saw him leaning in and froze for a second. Just as his lips were about to touch hers she saw something. It almost seemed like she saw Kira standing there trying to kiss her rather than Derek. This startled her and she quickly stepped backwards. Her heart was beating madly in her chest at what she'd seen. Then she suddenly started laughing as she finally realized something.

 

Derek wasn't quite sure what just happened but was glad to see her laughing. “So… can I take that as a yes… or a no?” he asked since he was not quite sure what had just happened. Though she didn't kiss him, she seemed to be really happy about something. He just hoped it was for him.

 

Lacus looked Derek in the eyes and shocked him. Though there was a smile on her face, there were tears flowing from her eyes. “No,” was her simple reply as her eyes continued to cry. She wasn't quite sure whether to be sad or happy about what she finally realized.

 

“No?” asked a confused Derek. “Wait a minute. Wasn't it you who just a few months ago told me that you liked me and wanted to go out with me?” he asked scratching the back of his head while wondering just what was going on.

 

“I'm sorry. It's just that I was… indecisive,” she said using the words that Kira used to describe her the day that he left. She knew he was right though. “I love him, I love him so much it hurts,” she told Derek as the tears just seemed to pick up their pace coming out of her eye.

 

The look on Derek's face clearly told her that he knew who she was talking about. “I'm sorry but I just can't be with you!” she said before turning around to run into the building as fast as she could.

 

Derek just stood there completely dumbfounded. `What the hell just happened. First she tells me she likes me but I couldn't go out with her because of Megan. I break up with Megan and ask Lacus to be my girlfriend but now she loves Kira?' he thought wondering what the hell had happened in the last two months. Kira wasn't even there for them from what Lacus told him earlier. `How could her feelings change like that so quickly?' he questioned before figuring he wouldn't get any answers now so he headed back to his car and figured he would ask Lacus next chance he got.

 

*****

 

Opening the door to her room, Lacus looked in and noticed that Cagalli was gone. `She must've gone out with Athrun,' she thought as she changed into more comfortable clothes before walking towards her bed. She felt a bit dizzy right then so she laid down and stared at the ceiling.

 

Picking up Haro, Lacus just stared at it as she smiled. “I love him. Why couldn't I have realized it earlier?” she asked holding the little pink doll tightly to her chest. It had basically been her closest companion for the last two months because it was Kira's gift to her and seemed to bring the most comfort in her time of need.

 

`It's my fault that things turned out the way they did. I just wish that I could've figured out how I felt sooner. Maybe things could've been different if I did,' Lacus thought as a tear slipped down her cheek. “I just wish, I could tell him now,” she murmured before looking at the phone.

 

“I need to talk to him,” she said as she walked to the phone. She then realized that she didn't know what Kira's new number was. She then noticed that there was an address book sitting right next to the phone. She recognized it immediately as Cagalli's. `I'm sure his new number must be written in here,' she thought as she flipped through it before coming to his name.

 

Lacus hesitated a bit as she reached for the phone. `Is it right for me to even call him? He's probably has his own life now and wouldn't want to talk to me,' she negatively thought. She hesitated for a few more seconds before making a decision and grabbing the phone.

 

Lacus slowly started to dial the number. She stopped when she got to the last number. Her fingers seemed frozen for a few seconds before she made up her mind and pressed it. The sound of ringing reached her ears and she waited and hoped that he would pick up on the other end.

 

Another spell of dizziness suddenly passed over the young woman. She grasped onto the table hoping it would disappear like the rest. It only seemed to get worse though as her vision seemed to be going dark and her legs started to give out. It wasn't long before she collapsed.

 

The phone crashed to the ground as an ever familiar voice picked up on the other side. “Hello?” Kira asked over the phone. When he received no reply he repeated himself a bit more loudly. “Hello?!” he asked again before waiting a few more seconds for a response. He growled a bit before hanging up the phone since he thought it was a prank call. He never realized that Lacus was lying unconscious on the floor on the other end of the line.