Gundam SEED Fan Fiction / Gundam Seed Destiny Fan Fiction ❯ Storm of Emotion ❯ the storm ( Chapter 2 )

Something about that night seemed to change something between Kira and Lacus. Athrun and Cagalli both mentioned that the two of them seemed a lot closer than they were before they went to the fair together.

 

`Maybe she is finally starting to see me as something more,' Kira thought with a bit of hope. `Then again, it's done nothing about the infatuation that she has in that guy,' he thought as he watched as she flirted with that guy just outside their classroom. This only saddened him even more as he leaned against a wall just out of their view.

 

`Sometimes I don't know what would be worse. Her possibly becoming that guy's girlfriend, or if she remained single and left me suffering like this,' he thought as the back of his head kept repeatedly hitting the wall.

 

`Why do I even put myself through all of this? It would probably be a lot easier on me to just go and find another woman but each time I think about it my heart starts to hurt even more than if I didn't do anything,' he continued to think as his hands clenched into fists at his side before placing them over his beating heart.

 

Looking back towards the two of them, Kira saw Lacus laughing so freely with that guy. `What is it about him that makes him so special to her? How are the two of us any different? Why does she only notice him when I've been around her so much longer and know her so much better,' Kira kept throwing out questions in his mind.

 

Looking in his direction, Lacus finally noticed that he was just standing there. She waved to him and he weakly waved back yet didn't even try to make a move towards her. So instead she started to walk in his direction until she was standing right in front of him staring at him with those gorgeous blue eyes of hers.

 

“Why are you all the way over here? Why didn't you just come over and talk to me?” she questioned giving him a smile as she grabbed his arm and started to drag him over to where she was standing before.

 

Much to Kira's relief, Derek had already walked away to get to his next class. Though he had a few classes with Athrun and Cagalli, all of his classes were with Lacus since they took all the same classes so that they'd have someone they knew there.

 

“Sorry, I just didn't want to interrupt you and your boyfriend,” Kira said trying to hold back the growl of annoyance at the thought of it. “You two seemed to be having quite a conversation and I didn't want to get in the way,” he continued to say while finding it hard to look at her.

 

“Oh don't be like that Kira. You know that Derek and I aren't a couple,” Lacus said even though she wished that she was. “Now we better get to class before we're late,” she said dragging him through the door and into the giant lecture hall where hundreds of students sat and waited for the professor to show up.

 

“Why don't you tell him?” Kira asked even though it killed him. The light blush that spread across Lacus's face at his words made him feel even worse. `Why don't you tell her?' his mind taunted him in response.

 

“B-because I'm not sure how he feels,” she said as she fidgeted a little from the thought. “I'm happy with how things are for now. Maybe I will be able to in the future though,” she said not even trying to hold back the smile at the thought of becoming Derek's girlfriend.

 

Her words made Kira want to tear Derek apart if only jus to keep that from happening. “He'll never know how you feel if you don't tell him,” Kira said wondering just why he was trying to help her express her feelings for the guy.

 

A smile crossed Lacus's face at his words. “You know, this is why you're my best friend Kira. You always know what to say to help me when I need it. Maybe I will try telling him how I feel. Maybe not today but sometime soon I will tell him. I wouldn't even know what to say though,” Lacus responded without noticing just how broken it made Kira look.

 

“Just say how you feel,” Kira responded before an idea came to his mind. “Like take me for example, what would you say in that position to me?” he felt like he had to ask. `Maybe I can figure out just what she really feels about me,' he thought though he knew that he shouldn't get his hopes up.

 

“That's just silly Kira. You know how I feel about you. You're my best friend. The one person I feel I can talk to about anything. I feel so much closer to you that almost anyone else I know,” she said while speaking the last part softly.

 

Her words were definitely not the type of words that Kira wanted to hear most. `I knew I shouldn't have tried. At least she said she feels closer to me than anyone else.' He thought with a small smile as he turned slightly to look at her face.

 

“What about you Kira?” Lacus felt compelled to ask. She looked at Kira as he gave her a confused look. “Is there anyone you like? You never go on dates or anything. So I've always wondered,” she explained and saw a light blush on his face and knew that he did have someone he liked.

 

“There is one person,” Kira said but refused to tell her that it was her. “It would never work out though. It seems she can't possibly see me as anything more than just a friend,” he explained and hoped that Lacus might get a hint from that.

 

“Well then, you should take your own advice and just tell her. She'll never know if you don't tell her,” Lacus said using Kira's words against him. `That's strange, I wonder why he's never mentioned liking anyone before,' Lacus thought before shaking it off.

 

`Easier said than done. It's easier for you since you're so open with your feelings towards Derek and he's shown some interest as well. It's only one sided for me,' Kira thought bitterly before the teacher came in and the two of them stopped talking in order to listen to what he had to say.

 

*****

 

Looking over the wide grassy area in the middle of the university, Lacus saw Derek just standing there. The two of them had planned to meet up but Lacus was becoming a bit hesitant. Night was settling in the sky and her, Derek, and some of his friends were going to go out and just hang out.

 

Kira's words earlier had ingrained into her mind. `I want to tell him but I'm also afraid to do so,' she thought as she looked him over and blushed a little. `What would he say if I told him how I felt?' she continued to ask herself while taking a few steps forward before stopping and walking back to the spot that she had just been standing.

 

`I just can't do this!' Lacus thought before turning to walk away before she suddenly came to a stop again. `But he'll never understand my feelings if I don't say anything about it,' she thought getting frustrated that she couldn't make up her mind on what to say to him.

 

She remembered when she first met the guy. `He was such a gentleman and never seemed to fail to make me laugh. Sure he didn't get along with Kira but I just found myself falling for him,' she thought biting her lip in nervousness.

 

Deciding to take a chance, Lacus started to move towards and tried not to think too much about her doubts. “I just go up to him and tell him how I feel. I will do it!' she thought as she quickened her pace hoping to get this over with quickly.

 

Derek turned and saw Lacus approaching him and he smiled. “I was beginning to wonder if you were planning to come or not,” he said with a laugh as she slowly approached him and he realized something was wrong. “Are you ok Lacus?” eh asked her looking into her nervous blue eyes.

 

“Um… yeah,” Lacus murmured as she rubbed her arm nervously. “Before we leave, there was something I wanted to tell you,” she said and found that even if she wanted to that she wouldn't be able to go back now.

 

“Sure,” Derek said a bit confused. The silence that ensued afterwards just confused him even more. “Lacus? What is it you wanted to say?” he pressured since he was in a hurry to get going.

 

`If I don't tell him now then I don't think that I will ever be able to,' Lacus thought trying to strengthen her resolve. “I…” she said hesitating a little before she took a deep breath. “I like you a lot and want to go out with you!” she finally blurted out.

 

*****

 

Kira had rushed out of his classroom that day. Lacus told him that she planned to go out with Derek and his friends today but he wanted to talk to her about something before she left. He rushed to where Lacus mentioned that she planned to meet Derek.

 

Despite the fact that the sun had pretty much already set, the place was still pretty crowded with students getting to and from their classes and Kira had to keep moving in order to avoid running into them.

 

Turning a corner, he saw that Lacus was already talking to Derek. The first thing Kira noticed was how nervous Lacus look. `No, please don't let it be that!' Kira thought as his heart clenched in his chest.

 

He noticed Lacus wasn't talking and that Derek was trying to get her to say what was on her mind. Then Kira heard the words he dreaded hearing most of all, “I like you a lot and want to go out with you!” he heard Lacus scream and his heart shattered in his chest with each word that left her mouth.

 

Without even bothering to listen to the rest of the conversation, Kira just turned and ran away. Tears streamed down his face and he didn't care about just how many people he had bumped into. `I was a fool to think that it could be possible for Lacus and me. To think that I was the one that gave her the idea to tell him as well. I'm such an idiot! Now they'll get together and I'll be left with nothing!' he thought with a growl and he headed in no specific direction or destination in mind.

 

*****

 

Derek couldn't believe what he'd just heard out of Lacus's mouth. “You… want to be with me?” he questioned and Lacus nodded her head without looking him in the eye out of clear embarrassment at her declaration.

 

“I'm sorry if this is so sudden but I've liked you ever since I met you. Kira told me that I shouldn't keep my feelings to myself and I realized he was right. I just had to tell you how I felt or else it would've plagued me for so long,” Lacus explained still refusing to look into his eyes.

 

There was a silence after that which was nerve wracking to Lacus. Finally, Lacus looked up at him as he just stared at her. She had a bad feeling as soon as she looked into his eyes. `Please don't let him turn me down,' she mentally begged.

 

Unfortunately for Lacus, things just weren't going her way. “I'm sorry Lacus but I can't accept your feelings. You're a great girl but I just can't be with you,” he said trying to be as gentle as he could. “I'm sure that there's someone else out there for you,” he said as he watched her eyes sadden.

 

“Please don't it's not your fault you don't feel that way,” Lacus said looking up at him with a smile that was very clearly forced. “Look, I'm sorry but I don't think I can go out with you and your friends today,” she continued and Derek just nodded in understanding as she took a few steps back. “I'll just… see you later,” she said before turning and quickly as fast as she could away from there.

 

Despite how sad she was, Lacus refused to let any tears fall from her eyes. `It hurt so very much but won't cry!' Lacus thought even though she felt like it was tearing her up inside. `It's not like it's the end of the world just because I've been turned down!' she continued to think as she ran in the direction of her dorm room. `I'll just take a nice long shower and forget that any of this even happened!'

 

By then Lacus began to realize just how cold it was starting to get. “I wish I had brought my coat,” she murmured as she started to rub her arms while slowing down until she was at just a walk. By this time she was already in from of her dormitory.

 

The warmth of the dormitory was really welcomed on Lacus's skin. `Time for q shower and then I'm going straight to sleep,' she thought as she got into the elevator and headed straight up to her floor.

 

With a sigh, she got off of the elevator and walked up to her door and pulled out her keys. She unlocked the door and heard a bit of cursing as soon as she did. “Cagalli? I'm back!” Lacus yelled out figuring that it was Cagalli who she heard.

 

“Um… wait! Don't come in here quite yet Lacus!” she heard Cagalli's voice yell out but it was already too late as Lacus walked close enough to see her. Her eyes widened dramatically at what she was looking at before her.

 

There stood Cagalli clad in only a blanket that appeared to be hastily wrapped around her. On her bed laid Athrun looking up at Lacus with worried eyes. He was nude but had a pillow held over his private areas blocking it from Lacus's view.

 

Cagalli really didn't like the looks of things right now. “L-Lacus? W-what are you doing here? I thought you were going to hang out with Derek and his friends,” she asked as she tried to tighten the blanket around her.

 

“I-I…” Lacus managed to stutter out before she did exactly like she did with Derek. She just turned around and ran out of the room as fast as she could. `What is going on?!' she screamed in her mind as she rushed as quickly as she could out of the building without even grabbing a coat to protect her from the chill of the night.

 

`I know I should be happy for them but I just can't!' her mind screamed wondering why it was that everyone around her seemed to be having such great luck with love but she couldn't. `I'm jealous of them and I hate it!' she continued to scream in her mind as she ran with no direction in her mind.

 

`If they were together than why did they have to hide it from me? I knew they always liked each other so it shouldn't have mattered either way. But did I really need to find out like this at the worst possible time?' she asked herself before stopping to take a breath.

 

Looking around her, Lacus found that she had no idea where she was at that moment. `This is just great!' she thought as her body shook with her repressed sobs. `What am I going to do now? I can't just go back to the room,' she thought as she just started to walk forwards instead of back the direction that she came.

 

She just walked and walked without any specific direction. She felt like she wouldn't even care if she got mugged at that moment. `Nothing has gone right today! It feels like everything is collapsing around me!' she thought once again pushing back her tears but she found it to be harder and harder by the second.

 

Soon she came across a brightly lit area and finally stared to recognize where she was. `The night club that Derek wanted to go to is close by. Maybe I can try and salvage things with him at least,' she thought as her feet started to drag her in that direction.

 

The outside of the night club was crowded with many excited teams. From what Lacus remembered, there was supposed to be some sort of popular band there tonight which was why Derek wanted to go there badly. Lacus wasn't really a fan of their but she would've gladly have gone if it meant being with Derek.

 

`I just can't face him after what happened!' Lacus thought as she turned away only to run into a solid chest. She jumped backwards and look at the person and saw that it was Kira that she'd run in. “K-Kira!” she said in surprise.

 

“Lacus,” Kira said in relief as he looked her over. `She looks awful, she must've been through a lot of bad things tonight,' he thought seeing how tired and hurt she looked. She definitely didn't look like she would be up to going to a place like this now. “I'm glad I found you. Athrun and Cagalli were worried about you so they called me to find you,” he explained as she looked towards the ground in shame.

 

“I-I'm sorry! It's just that everything has gone so wrong!” she managed to choke out before feeling the weight of a jacket being placed over her shoulder. She recognized it as one of Kira's. `He must've brought it with him knowing that I didn't have one,' she thought noticing that he was wearing another one as well. “Thank you,” she murmured realizing just how cold she was getting.

 

“Come on, it probably won't be best to remain out here. Let's go back. You definitely don't look up to going in there,” Kira placing a hand on her shoulder before directing her back into the direction of the campus. “So what exactly happened that was so bad?” he couldn't help but question having thought things must've gone great with her confession to Derek. `I must've been wrong,' he thought with a frown.

 

“I took your advice and decided to tell Derek of my feelings. I was so scared and yet I managed to get the words out. But he said that he didn't feel the same. Yet even though I was prepared it still hurt so much. I really liked him and yet he turned me down,” she said as he body once again shook with repressed sobs.

 

Kira knew that couldn't possibly be all of it. How she was acting was far from the normal Lacus. Her eyes seemed so blank and hurt. Her skin seemed so pale. He could just tell that she must've been through a lot more than that.

 

“I decided to go back to my room after that instead of going out with him and his friends. But when I got there Cagalli was already there with Athrun. Both of them were naked and I just know that they just had sex. It scared me a lot and I just ran away. I wondered why the people around me have no trouble in romance and yet I do. I was just so jealous and I hated myself for it,” she explained while looking towards the ground.

 

“Gross, I really didn't need to hear about my sister having sex with anyone, especially Athrun of all people!” Kira said making a face hoping to lighten the mood even though he meant every word. Unfortunately it didn't have the effect he was looking for since Lacus didn't even crack a smile.

 

They hadn't walked very far from their original location before they came to a stop by a rather loud noise from close by. They heard laughing and Kira recognized one of the voice almost immediately.

 

Kira looked in the direction of the noise and saw two figures. One of them, just as he had guessed from the voice, was Derek. It was pretty clear that he was drunk. The other one he realized was the friend of Lacus's that they saw at the fair. The two of them were in a heavy make out in an alleyway right next to the night club.

 

“Isn't she supposed to be a friend of yours? Why did you do something like this when you knew her feelings? Why did you continue to go out with me if you know it's going to hurt her eventually?” Derek questioned but that didn't stop him from starting to suck on the neck of the woman.

 

“Lacus is nothing but a spoiled little girl. She thinks that if she wants it than it's meant to be. She doesn't even think of other people's feelings,” the woman responded biting her lips to stop the moans she wanted to release. “I've always loved you though and I just couldn't hide my feelings,” she continued.

 

Kira couldn't believe what he was hearing. Even though he didn't like it, he couldn't blame Derek since him and Lacus were never together in the first place. Yet it pissed Kira off that he would suddenly go and do this almost immediately after Lacus placed her heart and soul into telling him how it was that she felt about him. `He was with the other girl first though. So why should he change his life just because of Lacus's confession,' Kira thought with a scowl.

 

Kira scowled even more at the woman whose name escaped him. The woman was supposed to be Lacus's friend but she betrayed her and took the man that Lacus wanted to be with. `What kind of friend would do that to another?' Kira questioned as he took a look at Lacus.

 

Kira could see the tears in her eyes just threatening to be released at any moment. “Come on Lacus. You don't need to hear anymore of this,” he said wrapping his arm around her before leading her towards the car he borrowed from Athrun again. He really wished he had his own car for emergencies like these but he simply didn't have the money for it.

 

They hadn't even reached the car before the tears started to flow down Lacus's face. “It'll be ok Lacus. Athrun's going to be gone for the night probably. So you can stay at my place. I'm pretty sure Athrun won't mind if you used his room considering the circumstances and I'm sure you don't want to go back to your own room right now,” he said and Lacus just nodded her head as the tears flowed so freely down her face.

 

`This is like adding insult to injury with what she just saw and heard. I want so bad to beat the crap out of both of them but Lacus needs help more right now. She's so torn up. I've never seen her like this in all the time I've known her,' he thought opening the door to the car for Lacus. She got in and he closed the door behind her.

 

The entire drive back just filled Kira's heart with pain. The normally strong willed Lacus was reduced to tears. She almost never cried and yet here she was doing it so freely. `She didn't deserve to have any of this happen,' Kira thought as he took one hand off the wheel before reaching over and grabbing her hand tightly in his. He was glad when he felt her squeeze it back very slightly.

 

The two of them reached the dormitories not long after that and they went up to Kira's room. As Kira thought, Athrun wasn't there. `Might as well call them and tell them that I found her. Might as well give Athrun a piece of my mind with what he's doing to my sister!' Kira thought closing the door behind him. “I'm gonna call Athrun and Cagalli and tell them I found you. Go ahead and get comfortable,” he said before grabbing the phone and walking to a more private area of the suite he had somehow managed to get with Athrun.

 

Lacus looked around the spacious apartment as she wiped away any tears that were still in her eyes. Using his father's influences, Athrun got a two bedroom suite in the school's dormitories. Since Kira was his best friend, Athrun brought him in as his roommate.

 

Lacus immediately just walked into the room and went to the bed and laid down on it. She couldn't fall asleep though. She just laid there staring at the wall in front of her as a few tears fell down her face once again.

 

Kira came walking back a few minutes later and set the phone down. He looked around but saw that Lacus was nowhere to be found. “Lacus?” he asked as he walked towards Athrun's room. He was shocked to find it empty so he walked to his room. It was there that he found Lacus on his bed crying her eyes out. “Hey, I said you could use Athrun's room,” Kira said with a laugh as he sat on the edge of the bed.

 

“It's more comfortable here,” Lacus said trying to put on a smile as she sat up on the bed and wiped the tears out of her eyes. “I'm sorry. I must look like a real fool crying my eyes out like this,” she said while wiping away a few more tears.

 

“No, you've been through so much that I think you deserve to cry,” Kira responded while giving her a smile. “If you're comfortable here then go ahead. I'll just use Athrun's room for the night,” he said standing up preparing to leave the room but he felt a pull on his hand.

 

“Please just stay here till I fall asleep. Please?” she requested while holding tightly onto his arm. “I just don't want to be alone right now,” she explained and Kira nodded and she gave him a weak smile in response. “I was out there wondering around for so long,” Lacus said when she looked at the clock and saw that it was already nearly ten at night. `Just three hours ago I had been telling Derek how I felt about him and now look where I am,' she thought while taking in a deep breath to calm herself.

 

Kira took a seat on the bed and Lacus leaned into him like she did on the farris wheel just a few nights prior. “Thank you for being here with me Kira,” Lacus said with a sigh as she closed her eyes slightly and enjoyed the warmth of her skin.

 

“You don't need to thank me. I'll always be here for you no matter what,” Kira said wrapping his arms around her before placing a soft kiss to her forehead. “You're my best friend and I wouldn't want anything to happen to you,” Kira said feeling a pain in his heart at his own words.

 

“It seems like everyone around us is with someone and happy. What person could love me though?” Lacus said bitterly as a few more tears fell. “I tell the one person I like my feelings and he goes off with one of my friends instead. Maybe I'm just not meant to be happy,” she said fighting back anymore tears from falling.

 

“Don't say stuff like that Lacus!” Kira yelled not liking how she was talking about herself. “I'm sure that's there's someone out there who loves you!” he yelled as he moved in front of her to look her in the eyes. `Yeah, me,' he thought afterwards. “You deserve to be happy more than anyone,” Kira said a bit more softly while placing a hand on her face using his thumb to brush away a few tears.

 

“Well obviously others don't think the same. I tell him I like him and he goes off and starts sucking on the face of a friend of mine who has no qualms about trying to hurt me!” Lacus said in aggravation.

 

“No! It just means that he isn't the right one for you!” Kira yelled back forcing her to look up at him when her face once again tried to look away. “There are people out there who'd be willing to give everything they had to be with you,” he said softer since he knew he was once again talking about himself. `I know she was hurt, but does she need to think so negatively about herself?' he questioned himself as he stared into her beautiful blue eyes.

 

“Do you have any proof Kira? I just lost the one I liked most to someone that was supposed to be a friend. So do you have any proof that I'm not meant to be lonely?” she asked before she was silenced by the one thing that she didn't expect, a kiss.

 

Kira remained that way for several seconds before he pulled away slowly. Lacus was completely stunned at what he just did. `H-he k-kissed me? B-but that was my first kiss,' she thought but didn't fight back against the hold he had on her.

 

It was a sad truth in Lacus's opinion. She was nineteen years old and had never kissed a man before. It wasn't that she didn't have people who wanted to; it's just that she never wanted to kiss any of them. She never dated in high school and for the first part of college she'd been hoping it would be with Derek. This was never how she expected it to happen though, not with her best friend of all people. `But why did it feel so good?' she silently questioned to herself.

 

Kira himself couldn't believe what he just did. `I just didn't want her to talk about herself like that and also show her that she's wrong. There were so many other things I could've done though. Why did I kiss her?' he questioned himself though he knew the answer. He just wanted to show her that he loved her. `This could ruin everything between us though,' Kira thought with dread.

 

Several moments passed and the tension grew thick between them. `I guess it's too late for regrets. Maybe I should consider this an opportunity. I mean, what else do I have to lose?' Kira thought as he placed his hands on her shoulders before leaning in again to claim her lips once more as his own.

 

Despite being a bit resistant at first, Lacus soon felt her body completely giving into the kiss. `Why am I doing this?' Lacus asked herself as her eyes closed and she savored the feel of his warm lips upon her own.

 

To Lacus her mind felt so empty, her heart felt so tired, and her body felt so weak. She knew she should stop this but she just couldn't. `Or is it that I won't,' Lacus thought as she felt her back hit the mattress beneath her.

 

Like Lacus, Kira found himself unable to stop. Even after they fell back on the mattress, his arms remained wrapped around her body and his lips refused to leave hers. `How long have I dreamed about this happening? How long have a dreamed of kissing her and holding her? I feel so happy that it's come true and she's even kissing me back,' Kira thought with a smile behind his kiss.

 

Lacus whimpered a bit when she felt his lips suddenly leave her. She knew that this was her chance to pull away and just leave before anything else happened. Instead of doing that though, she just leaned up and captured his lips once more and that was when she knew there was no chance of stopping what was about to happen.

 

Kira was shocked when she kissed him. `This definitely feels right,' he thought and completely lost himself in that one moment. His lips left hers for a second but they traveled down and started to lay kisses upon the silky smooth skin of her neck.

 

Her mind was completely lost in that one moment. She no longer thought or hesitated, instead she only acted on her desires. Her desire was, even if only for this one night, that she could feel what it was like to be loved. She had all these people after her claiming to love her for her father's money or her looks but she wanted someone to love her for who she was and not what she had and it was Kira was making her feel that way right then.

 

Kira felt a slight tugging on his shirt and looked down and his eyes widened when he saw Lacus tugging at it while trying to pull it up and over his head. He never intended to go that far with Lacus because he didn't want to feel like he was taking advantage of her but when he saw her doing that he just lost that last bit of hesitation. His need for Lacus took over and he didn't even think much after that. He then raised his arms up and let Lacus pull the shirt up and over his head.

 

A light blush crossed her face at the sight of his now bare chest. She never realized just well built he was. He wasn't an overly muscular person but at the same time he had more muscle than a normal person.

 

Her hands came up and lightly traced over the muscle. `He really is, an attractive guy, I wonder why I never noticed it before,' she thought before Kira grabbed her hands and gentle pulled them away as he went back to the attack on her neck.

 

Lacus felt Kira's release her hands and that they started to travel around her body. She let off a strange squealing noise when she sudden felt one of his hands land upon her breast. She didn't try to remove it though. Instead, she arched her back to push her breast into his hand even more.

 

`Wow, she sure liked that,' Kira thought as his head came down and pushed up the bottom of her shirt. He started to place feather light kisses upon her stomach savoring the feel and taste of her soft skin upon his lips.

 

Kira's hands went up and pushed the shirt up enough so that her bra clad breasts were revealed. Kira licked his lips as he stared at them much to Lacus's embarrassment. “Beautiful,” he murmured causing a blush to cross Lacus's face. He then reach up and placed his hands upon both breasts. It wasn't enough for him though so he slid them down and under her bra so that they were touching the skin of those wonderful mounds.

 

Lacus gasped at the feel of his hands on her breasts. It was so weird to feel such a thing since Kira was the first man to ever touch her in such a way. She bit her lip to keep from moaning as he massaged the two mounds.

 

Lacus reached up and pulled her shirt off the rest of the way. `Why am I doing all of this so willingly?' she mentally asked herself as she continued to feel Kira's hands on her breasts and his lips on her stomach.

 

“Sit up for a second Lacus,” Kira ordered pulling away from her as she did as he told her to. He kissed her lips as his hand went around to the back of her bra and started to mess with the latch. It took several tries before Kira finally managed to get it unlatched. He then gladly pulled it off while his eyes feasted on the silky skin and the pointed pink nipples of her perfect c-cup breasts.

 

`Oh god, this is so embarrassing. Why am I doing this? Why can't I stop?' Lacus kept asking herself for like the millionth time that night as her face flamed a deep red at the looks that Kira was giving her. `Why does this feel right though? Why should it though? I'm supposed to like Derek, not Kira. Aren't I?' she thought growing frustrated at her thoughts.

 

“Beautiful,” Kira muttered once again as he brought his hand down upon her breast. It felt so wonderful under his hand. He then lowered his head to the other breast and started to suck on it like a baby would suck its bottle.

 

Lacus gasped in surprise and pleasure at the feel of his lips and hands on her breast. `Sure I've tried touching myself before but never has it ever felt like this,' she thought losing all thoughts of hesitation once again. Instead it was replaced by a growing need that only Kira could fulfill.

 

With one hand busy with one breast and his mouth busy with the other, Kira used his free hand and reached down towards her skirt. He saw Lacus's eyes snap open when he started to hike the skirt up until they were high enough to see her white underwear.

 

Lacus's eye quivered a bit in fear but she didn't say a word as he continued his pleasurable assault. She jumped a little when she felt him place his hand over her panty clad core. She bit her lips at the feel of the friction between her panties and her almost moist core.

 

Kira left her nipples which were pointed now with her arousal. Kira then went down and started to undo her skirt. She lifted her hip which helped him get it off easily. Yet when he started to try and take off her panties, she put up a resistance. It wasn't much of one but it did take him a little more time than he expected to get it off.

 

When she felt her underwear finally slide down and off her legs, Lacus blushed a deep shade of red at the fact that she was naked in front of a man she had once thought of as nothing more than just her best friend. `No matter what I thought, I want to do this with Kira,' her mind finally gave in to the cravings of her body.

 

“A goddess,” Kira said which made Lacus blush a little more if it was even possible. He meant everyone word as he stared at her flawless body that was laid out before his eyes almost asking to be taken.

 

He then looked deep into her eyes and saw the want that was in them and smiled. `This is the first time since I met her that I've ever seen her look at me like that,' he thought but he couldn't help but wonder if it was her need for comfort or if she really wanted him that was making her give him that look. “Lacus… I,” he stared planning to ask her his thoughts when Lacus leaned up and kissed him with everything she had. In that one moment he completely forgot his question as he kissed her back with all of his own want.

 

Even though Kira knew better than to think she actually loved him right then, he found that he didn't care. In that one moment it filled his heart with joy and love. He truly felt like she really did love him even if it was only in the heat of the moment and somehow that was all that he needed for right then.

 

Trailing kisses down her body, Kira made his way to her core. When he got there, he ran a tongue along her slit and felt her was in heaven. `It's everything I thought it would be,' he thought with a smile as he feasted on the substance that was every bit of Lacus.

 

Lacus nearly screamed at the feel of his buried in her pussy. She grabbed a pillow and threw it over her face in order to muffle the screams of pleasure that she was failing to hold back. `I've never felt anything like this before,' she thought biting her lips almost hard enough to break the skin. She eventually just dropped the pillow and started screaming all of her pleasure freely.

 

Kira licked up and down and even shoved his tongue into her tight love canals several times but it just didn't seem enough. He saw that she was already very wet and pulled away from her. He crawled back up and kissed her on the lips so that she could taste herself. “I want you Lacus, what do you want?” he asked since he wanted to make sure that she really did want it.

 

Lacus shakily looked into his eyes and saw just how much he really wanted her. “I… I want… I want you Kira,” she stuttered out through her ragged breathing. She couldn't believe that she just said that to a man that wasn't her husband.

 

When she was younger, Lacus always swore that she would save herself for marriage. That she'd only give her virginity to her husband. It was strange but she didn't care right then. “I trust you Kira,” she whispered before leaning up and capturing his lips once more in a heated kiss.

 

That was all that Kira needed to hear. He quickly disposed of his pants and underwear and grabbed a hold of his already hard dick. He brushed it up against her pussy several times moistening it with her already flowing juices in order to make it easier on her since he was aware that she was still a virgin.

 

Very slowly he started to push into her tight depth. He loved the feel of her walls clenching around her throbbing dick. “So tight,” he murmured before he came along the thin membrane that impeded his progress.

 

Lacus felt him come to a stop and knew why. Her body shook slightly at what was to come next. She wasn't sure if it was fear or anticipation that had her acting like that. She wrapped her legs around him in order to keep Kira from stopping though because she felt the intense need within her to do this.

 

As soon as he felt her legs wrap around him, Kira decided to just get this over with. “I'm sorry,” Kira said before claiming her lips and thrusting into her tearing through her hymen. His kiss muffled what he knew would've been screams of pain and he didn't pull back until he felt her calm down.

 

`It hurt so badly but I feel so complete,' Lacus thought taking in several deep breaths. She was glad when Kira decided to just remain still inside of her. “I'm sorry,” she murmured figuring that he didn't like remaining still.

 

“Don't be, take all the time you need,” Kira whispered in her ear before he went about kissing her neck in hopes of taking her mind off of the pain. He didn't mind not doing anything yet. Just the fact that he had gotten this far with her meant more to him than anything else. `She gave me something so precious to her, so I don't mind waiting,' he thought with a smile while taking in her wonderful scent while he continued his attack on her neck.

 

It wasn't for a little while before the pain Lacus felt started to fade away. “I'm ok now, please just be gentle,” she requested and watched as he nodded before he gently pulled out before pushing back into her. He then did the same thing only he pushed a little deeper into her than the last time.

 

`I never thought it would be possible for Lacus and me to ever kiss. Now we're doing this,' Kira thought as he slowly started to pick up his pace and the deepness of his thrusts. `I just wish she really loved me,' Kira thought before pushing those thoughts to the side to focus on what he was doing.

 

To Lacus, whenever Kira thrust completely inside of her, she felt an intense fulfillment that nothing has ever given her before. She couldn't think otherwise. All that mattered was the pleasure that was building up within her.

 

Kira thrust into her again and kissed her passionately. He was struggling to hold back from cumming. He didn't like the idea of finishing it before Lacus had a chance to cum as well but at the same time he also felt like he wasn't going to last for much longer at the rate they were going.

 

Changing the way that he was doing it, Kira thrust into her at different angles. It was through this that he found that elusive g-spot that he heard drove women wild. He also reached down and started to toy with the clitoris.

 

Lacus threw her head back at the feel of the two different stimulations. `If it feels this good then what will an actual orgasm feel like?' she asked herself since she had never had one in the past since she was a virgin and didn't particularly like touching herself.

 

Kira pulled almost completely out, which frustrated Lacus to no end, but then impaled himself quickly back into her. By now the pace was getting pretty quick and Lacus knew that she was close to cumming as the pleasure continued to increase more and more and the feeling in her stomach continued to build up.

 

“I can't hold it!” Kira growled before pleasure seared through him as he slammed in once more before releasing squirt after squirt of his seed deep into her womb without even thinking of the consequences. He kept thrusting though hoping that he could still get Lacus to cum as well.

 

The feeling of his seed rushing into her as well as the stimulation of her g-spot and clitoris was all that it took. It only took a few more thrusts before Lacus too found her climax and screamed for pretty much all the world to hear.

 

`Well, so much for being disappointed my first time,' Lacus thought as the orgasm finally started to die down. Kira still laid on top of her with his softening dick still buried within her as her arms wrapped tightly around him holding him close. “Y-you… should be glad… I'm on the pill,” Lacus managed to breathe out.

 

“Pill?” Kira questioned looking down to see some of his seed leaking out of her mixing with a bit of her blood. “Oh shit! I'm sorry Lacus! I wasn't thinking!” Kira yelled running a hand through his hair wondering how he could've forgotten about that of all things. “Damn it! I should've grabbed some protection! What would've happened if you weren't?” he continued to ask in a panic.

 

Lacus gave a small weak chuckle. “At least I'm on the pill. My dad made me go on it when I left for College just to be safe and I guess I just couldn't stop taking it. Anything can happen,” Lacus said before suddenly getting a bit uneasy at the realization of what had just happened. “Um… can I use your shower?” she asked a bit hesitantly and was glad that Kira just nodded his head.

 

Lacus shakily got off the bed and wobbled towards the bathroom on unsteady legs which were rather sore after everything that just happened. She reached the bathroom and closed the door behind her.

 

Kira watched her leave and fell back down on the bed with a goofy grin on his face. `What a day today has been. I thought it was gonna suck after hearing Lacus tell that guy she liked him. Now here I am after just having sex with her!' he thought before pinching himself to see if it was actually just a dream.

 

`Maybe I should ask her out. Maybe she might consider it after all we've been through,' he thought liking the thought of it. `It's not like she can be with Derek after he turned her down and ran off with her friend,' he thought with a scowl at the memory of that.

 

`Sure, I know she doesn't love me right now. But I can be patient, especially after what just happened. If that doesn't mean that there's hope then I don't know what will,' he thought looking towards the closed door.

 

Lacus leaned against the sink and took in a deep breath. She looked into the mirror before her and saw red her face was and how naked her body was. `Why couldn't I just stop?' she asked herself realizing that she was no longer a virgin. That she no longer could remain one until she got married like she always planned.

 

`It was great though, wasn't it?' he mind taunted when just earlier it had been the voice of reason behind her lustful thoughts. It drove Lacus nuts that she couldn't make up her mind on what to think about everything that had happened.

 

Reaching over, Lacus turned the water to the shower on. She hoped that it might clear her head a bit so she could figure what to do about all of this and about what she was going to say to Kira. She wasn't sure of anything right then.

 

She finally got the temperature of the water to her liking and stepped under it. The warm water did wonders on her sore muscles and washed away the dried blood on her thighs from the tearing of her hymen.

 

Lacus wasn't sure but she thought she was crying right then. It was almost impossible to tell as the water of the shower washed away any possible trace of it. `Why did I have sex with Kira? I feel like I used him to make my own pain go away and that's not fair to him. He said he had someone he liked and now things might be too difficult for him,' she thought running a hand through her wet locks.

 

Lacus jumped when all of a sudden a pair of warm arms wrapped around her waist. “K-Kira? What are you doing in her?” Lacus asked. She planned to ask more but the feel of his lips upon her neck sent out thoughts flying away.

 

“I'm sorry,” was all that Kira said before he turned her around and claimed her lips once again as his own. He just couldn't help himself when he heard the water running. He felt so lonely without her that he came in to join her on impulse.

 

That one kiss sent all complaints and hesitation away. All of her defensive lowered once again and she seemed to freely melt into his arms. She couldn't believe how easily she gave into his touch and kiss once again.

 

She then felt something poking at her stomach and knew what it was. Sure her body was sore but it yearned for his touch once again. `Here we go again,' Lacus thought as her body acted on its own.

 

Kira felt Lacus's response and smiled as he grabbed a hold of one of her legs and lifted it up so that he had easy access to Lacus's pussy. He took his hardened rod once again and placed it at her entrance before he pushed into her as deeply as he could.

 

He'd been surprised when he found that he could go again so soon after the last time ended but Kira knew the reason. If it was anyone other than Lacus, then he knew he wouldn't be as ready nearly as fast. Yet the fact that it was Lacus made Kira feel like the night was only beginning.

 

Lacus moaned when he slid into her again. There was that feeling of completeness once again that Lacus longed for. Her mind silenced once again and allowed them to just do what they were doing.

 

Reaching his hand underneath her, Kira grabbed a hold of her ass and lifted her up. Her response was to immediately wrap her legs around his waist for support as he moved so that her back was pressed against the wall.

 

Lacus leaned into the wall as her hands went to Kira's shoulder. The soreness of her body just didn't seem to matter in that one moment. All it was taking on was more and more pleasure. She knew that at this rate though, she'd be sore as hell the next morning when this was all over.

 

With a hold around her waist, Kira lifted Lacus up slightly with her help and then slammed her back down on his dick at the exact same time as he did the same with his engorged rod. “Still so tight,” Kira murmured into her ear as he repeated the motion again and again.

 

Lacus helped the best that she could be pulling herself off and then thrusting downwards so that he got as deep as he could. Each thrust gave her more and more satisfaction as the feeling deep in her stomach continued to build up once again.

 

Just seeing her breasts in front of him bouncing all over the place aroused Kira to no end. He leaned his head down and took the nipple of one her breasts into his mouth and started to suck on it once again.

 

One of Lacus's hands left Kira's shoulder and went to the back of his head to hold him in place. “More!” Lacus gasped out as he bit down on it causing her to moan out loud. “Faster!” she moaned as he picked up the pace of his thrusts for her.

 

Perhaps it was because her body was still sensitive from the last orgasm but Lacus suddenly felt her insides convulse with pleasure as she reached her peak once more. “Kira!” she screamed out his name in completion.

 

Feeling her walls tighten around him was all that Kira needed as he thrust in her again before spilling his seed. He couldn't believe that not once but twice he'd gotten Lacus to orgasm even though he was still inexperienced. `Maybe I'm better than I thought,' Kira thought leaning his head into her chest as if her breasts were the soft pillows.

 

Lacus tried catching her breath as the effects of the orgasm slowly died down. “Y-you can put me down Kira,” she breathed out even though she was still holding onto him tightly herself.

 

“Not quite yet,” Kira murmured as he lifted his head to show a smile. “I don't want to let go of you quite yet,” he said softly as he stepped out of the shower with her still wrapped around his waist.

 

Grabbing a towel, he threw it over the two of them as he carried them back towards the bedroom. `This is going to be a long night,' Lacus thought with a blush as she was thrown on the bed once again.

 

*****

 

Morning light streamed through the window and onto the two forms that lied on the bed. The only thing was that one of those two forms was still awake. Lacus just laid there looking at nothing as her thoughts really started to catch up with her.

 

`How many times did we do it exactly?' she asked herself since she basically lost track of it after the initial two times. `How many times did I break my vow to wait for marriage? How many times did I use Kira to make myself feel better?' she mentally asked herself as her body shook.

 

Pushing herself up, Lacus flinched a bit with how sore her body felt. “I shouldn't have done this,” she murmured before she threw the blankets off her nude form and stood up. She then went about collecting her clothes which were scattered all over the floor.

 

After she was dressed, Lacus started to leave but then stopped and looked back at the person who was happily sleeping. She didn't know what it was but her feet pulled her in that direction until she was standing next to the side of the bed that Kira was sleeping on.

 

`He looks so peaceful, like there isn't a problem in the world,' she thought as a hand reached out and brushed his cheek gently. `This is best, he can still be with the woman he wants if I just leave now and neither of us will have to think about this night again,' she thought before turning and heading out the door. `Being with me last night will be a burden for him because of how he feels for someone else,' she thought but it seemed a bit troubling to her that she was doing this.

 

Just after she left the room, Kira's body twisted and he turned over and grabbed the pillow Lacus had been using in his arms. Her scent was still on it and it had a calming effect on Kira as he smiled and held it closely to his chest. “Lacus… I love you,” he groaned in his sleep while holding the pillow tightly to his chest.

 

*****

 

The sound of her bedroom door opening caught Cagalli's attention and she turned and she turned her head away from the textbook she was reading. She saw Lacus come walking through the door. “Hey Lacus,” Cagalli said catching Lacus's attention. “Sorry about last night. We didn't mean to scare you like that,” she said looking away from Lacus with a slight blush on her face because of what it was that Lacus had caught them doing.

 

Lacus looked at Cagalli and gave a weak smile. `I had almost completely forgotten about that because of all of the problem's I'm having now,' she thought before groaning at the memory that came back to her. “It's alright Cagalli,” she said in a choked voice as she walked towards her bed.

 

It was then that Cagalli noticed the way Lacus looked. “Hey, are you ok Lacus? You don't look too good,” Cagalli said taking a good look at Lacus's face which was a bit paler than it usually was and she also seemed troubled about something.

 

“Y-yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired,” Lacus said rubbing her eyes before crawling into the bed. “Listen, if anyone calls or comes to the door for me; just tell them that I'm not here. I don't feel like talking to anyone right now,” Lacus closing her eyes without even waiting for Cagalli's response.

 

Cagalli nodded her head in confusion as she watched Lacus just lie there and sleep. `Something is definitely wrong. I wonder what it is though. What happened after she saw Athrun and me together?' she asked herself before hesitantly going back to her book since she knew that she wouldn't be getting anymore words out of Lacus since she was already fast asleep. `What could've possibly tired her out so much that she falls asleep that quickly?'

 

*****

 

The days after that fateful day had been torture on Kira. When he woke up, he thought it had all just been one wonderful dream before he realized he was naked. He then panicked as he looked around the room for her but he didn't see even the slightest trace of her.

 

`I know it wasn't a dream. Why'd she have to run away though?' Kira thought with a growl as images of their night together flashed through his head. `I just hope that she doesn't think it was nothing but a mistake,' he thought as his eyes saddened at the thought since he thought there might be hope after that night.

 

Looking towards the spot next to him, Kira frowned. The spot was where Lacus normally sat but she hadn't been coming to class the last few days and that made Kira worry that something might've happened to her.

 

`I wish I can find her so that we can at least talk,' Kira thought without even listening to the professor speak. He just found that he couldn't concentrate on anything with how things were in his life.

 

Class just seemed to take forever. `I have to find her and talk to her today. I only have until tomorrow for my reply and I need to find out exactly where I stand with Lacus,' Kira thought dreading what was going to happen. `With finals coming up, I won't have any time to talk to her after that,' he thought with a sigh.

 

`If I accept, I'll probably only be here for another week before I have to leave. But then I'll have to leave everyone behind. That will mean that I can't ever be with Lacus,' he thought as a frown crossed his face at the thought of leaving such a person behind especially if there really was a possibility for them. `I have to know how she feels about me, especially after that night,' he thought before quickly getting up and leaving when the teacher finally ended the class.

 

Instead of heading back to his room, Kira decided to head towards Lacus's room. `I will talk to her no matter what! Even if I have to sit and wait for hours I will talk to her! Nothing will stop me!' he thought with determination as he walked the rest of the way.

 

Several minutes later he was inside the building and heading in the direction of the room. It was a few more minutes before he was finally standing in front of the door and he reached up and knocked on it without the least bit of hesitation.

 

The sound of feet could be heard from the inside coming towards the door. Kira really wished that it was Lacus that was coming. However his wish wasn't granted since it was Cagalli who opened the door instead. “Where's Lacus?” Kira asked bluntly since he didn't feel like wasting time.

 

“Nice to see you too,” Cagalli murmured as her eyes narrowed at him. “As for Lacus, she isn't here. Same as the last fifty times you asked,” she asked growing annoyed at both Kira and Lacus for putting her in the middle of an apparent argument. `Worst of all, I have no clue what is going on!' Cagalli thought with a groan of annoyance.

 

“Lacus! Are you in there?!” Kira yelled since he no longer believed what Cagalli was saying. `Cagalli keeps telling me that Lacus isn't there but never tells me where she is! Lacus obviously put her up to it. I know that Lacus has to be in there hiding from me right now!' Kira thought strengthening his resolve.

 

“Kira! I told you that she isn't in there!” Cagalli lied since she knew Lacus really was. `Why are you making me do this Lacus?' she asked herself. “It doesn't matter how much you ask but she isn't there! She's been really busy with class work and hasn't talked to anyone!” she continued to say blocking Kira from trying to force his way into the room.

 

“And I know you're lying! She hasn't come to class, she hasn't been in the library or anyplace like that, and don't say she's been with her father either because I've already called. This is the last place she can be and I want to talk to her!” Kira yelled because he'd been searching for her everywhere the last few days.

 

“That doesn't mean anything; it just means that she wasn't in the places you looked. So quit bothering me about it because I don't know where she is!” Cagalli growled out growing frustrated at her brother's determination to talk to Lacus. Then suddenly Kira walked to the wall facing the door and just took a seat. “What are you doing?” she asked in confusion.

 

“If what you say is true then she'll be back eventually. I will just wait here until she comes back. Either way I will talk to her even if she's avoiding me,” Kira said stubbornly before crossing his arms over his chest with a clear look that he wasn't going to listen to anyone but Lacus from now on.

 

Cagalli really looked like she wanted to tell him to just go away but a part of her knew that her words no longer meant anything until Lacus finally spoke to him. So instead she just closed the door and walked into the room. “How long are you planning to avoid him?” she asked quietly to the figure with pink hair lying on her bed. Unfortunately she got no reply and grew even more frustrated before she just stormed over to her desk and went back to doing what she had been doing before Kira interrupted her.

 

Though Lacus didn't reply, she had heard everything. `Why are you doing this Kira? Why do you try so hard when you like another? Why do I worry if I feel the same?' she asked herself while listening to Cagalli grumble incoherent stuff to herself.

 

When a good three or four hours had passed and Kira showed no signs of moving, Cagalli deciding to do something. “Just what the hell is going on Lacus?!” she yelled in a hushed voice. When she didn't receive a reply again, she decided to take drastic measures. “Fine then, if you don't tell me then I'll just let him in and you can deal with him,” she thought before Lacus suddenly jumped up to stop her.

 

“Don't!” Lacus pleaded since she just didn't want to have to deal with the consequences of what would happen to hers and Kira's friendship after their night together. “Please don't,” she pleaded once again looking up into Cagalli's amber orbs desperately.

 

“I won't if you tell me what is going on. You keep making me do this for you and I have no clue why,” Cagalli said looking towards the door who immediately turned her gaze away. Cagalli was then taken back when she swore that she saw tears in the young woman's eyes. “Lacus?” she asked worriedly.

 

“Everything's gone wrong Cagalli,” Lacus started before pausing. “I just can't face him,” she continued before looking at Cagalli who just gave her a no duh look. “I got turned down by Derek, catch you and Athrun in such an intimate way, and then I saw Derek making out woman I thought was a friend of mine. It was clear that they'd been going out for a while. She even knew how I felt and went behind my back!” Lacus said feeling herself growing angry.

 

“We know all about that. Kira told us about it after he found you. That doesn't explain why you're so desperately trying to avoid him though. I thought you would've been more grateful that he was there when you needed someone,” Cagalli said watching as the girl was obviously struggling with herself to tell the truth.

 

“I am grateful for his help but that wasn't the problem. The problem is that I was a mess and I just couldn't think straight after that and then I did something I shouldn't have to Kira,” she mumbled the last part but Cagalli just barely heard it. “Just I could feel comforted I did something to him that I shouldn't have. Just so I could feel what love was like even if it was fake,” she finished but found that she just couldn't say the words about what happened.

 

Cagalli was confused for a few seconds before it suddenly dawned on her exactly what it was that Lacus was talking about. Her eyes widened as she looked at the pale girl. “You slept with him?” she silently questioned in disbelief and watched as Lacus slowly nodded her head.

 

It was quiet after that as neither of them knew what to say. `It all makes sense now,' Cagalli thought finally understanding Lacus's fear, didn't mean she had to like it though. “Forgive me,” was all she said bring her hand back before slapping Lacus hard in the cheek. Sure she didn't always get along with Kira but he was her brother and she knew he didn't deserve ignored like this after something like that.

 

Lacus sat there stunned as her hand came up rubbing her sore cheek. Then before she could even get a word out, Cagalli grabbed a hold of her wrist and started to drag her towards the door. “Cagalli! What are you doing? I thought you said you wouldn't!” Lacus said in a clear panic.

 

“I said I wouldn't let him in. I think he deserves an explanation though so I'm throwing you out until you talk with him! Don't even try to come back until then because I won't let you in!” Cagalli said before opening the door and throwing Lacus out with more strength than she meant to use.

 

When Kira heard the door to the room opening he stood up but was caught by surprise when he saw pink suddenly come flying out at him. He caught Lacus but they both fell over and onto the ground from the force of the collision. When he looked up to question Cagalli, she just grinned and held her arm up in a way that made it look like she just bowled a strike. Then she closed the door and he heard the distinct sound of it being locked.

 

Lacus was scared. She knew exactly who's arms she was lying in. “Sorry!” she said quickly before standing up and running to the door. She tried desperately to open the door but panicked when she found that it was locked.

 

Kira slowly stood up and watched her for a few seconds. His heart clenched in his chest as he watched how desperately she was trying to get away from him. He pushed that aside and walked up behind her. He then brought a hand up and placed it on her shoulder. He felt her tense up under his touch. “Lacus? We really need to talk,” he said to gain her attention away from her struggling with the door.

 

As much as she hated it, Lacus knew that Kira was right. Yet at the same time she found it very hard to bring herself to do such a thing. She had a very bad feeling about what would come out of talking to him after that night.

 

“Why don't we go outside and talk? Away from everyone else,” Kira suggested and watched as she slowly nodded her head. He then reached out and grabbed her hand and gently pulled her away from the door to head outside.

 

The entire walk outside was done in silence. Not a single word had been said between when they had left the room and when they had finally reached a place where they could talk this out.

 

Kira looked towards Lacus but frowned when he saw that she wouldn't even look him in the eye. “Lacus, as much as you think running away will help, we really need to talk about this,” Kira said after a few more moments of silence between the two of them passed.

 

Lacus bit her lip nervously since she knew what she was about to say would only cause problems but it was the only thing she could think of doing. “T-there's nothing to talk about Kira. It was all just a mistake,” she said even though her heart hurt just saying those few words.

 

Kira's eyes widened at her words. While he knew that it was very possible for her to say it, the fact that she actually did still hurt badly. “You can't mean that Lacus! How can stuff like that just be a mistake?” he questioned feeling his heart crumbling in his chest.

 

“Kira… you need to keep in mind that I had a very bad day and I just wasn't thinking clearly. I was supposed to save myself for marriage but I didn't. It's not your fault though, it's mine. I was a fool, I used you because I was hurting and that was something I shouldn't have done. I'm very sorry for that too but either way it shouldn't have happened,” Lacus said looking towards the ground because she just couldn't look Kira directly in the eye.

 

“No!” Kira yelled which startled Lacus. “You may not think so but it meant something to me Lacus. You aren't the only one that lost something. It was my first time too and it meant something to me! More than you seem to think!” he yelled growing frustrated with how Lacus was trying to pass it all off as if it didn't mean a thing.

 

“Why can't you just see the truth Kira?!” Lacus yelled back finally looking him in the eyes. She saw all the hurt, pain, and confusion he was going through and it hurt her. “We like other people Kira! I'm not the type of woman who'd say she likes one person and goes around sleeping with another! What about the woman you like?! What do you think she'd think of that?!” Lacus screamed trying her best to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

 

Her words just made Kira snap. Before he could stop himself, he said the words that he thought he'd never say to her. “Obviously it's you that can't see the truth Lacus!” he yelled startling her because of his intensity. “It's you! I love you!” he said before stopping when he finally realized what he just said.

 

Lacus's eyes widened and her body shook with his confession. “No… you can't mean that,” she murmured softly before turning and running away as fast as she could. She hated how all she could do was run away the last few days but this was all just too much for her. It was the only thing she could think of doing.

 

Kira just stood there and watched her run from his confession. Never in his life had he ever felt so hurt and lonely. Tears ran down his face at the realization that she never felt anything for him and never will even after all that happened. “Fine then. If that's how you feel then I'll leave and you'll never have to think about this ever again. Just like you want to,” Kira murmured before heading back to give the answer they had all been waiting for.

 

*****

 

Several more days passed after that without one word being spoken between Kira and Lacus. Finals were finished and Kira had been packing up to move to his new university. For everyone else though, it had been a rather sad few days.

 

`I leave tomorrow,' was all that was on Kira's mind as he packed up all of his things. Right then he was packing up the clothes he didn't plan to use during the next two days into a suitcase which was already half filled.

 

`I was so hopeful after that night that she might actually want me. I'm nothing but a fool, one who let his emotions get the best of him,' Kira thought bitterly before he stopped what he was doing. In front of him was a small box that was neatly wrapped in wrapping paper.

 

Kira just stared at the item before him with emotionless eyes. It was a present that Kira had originally planned to give to Lacus for Christmas. There was a card attached to the box which read, `with all my love.'

 

`It seemed like such a great idea when I bought it. Even though I didn't know how she felt I planned to give it to her and confess my feelings. I guess my feelings never mattered to her though!' he thought trying to control his tears. `This is nothing but a piece of junk now!' Kira thought as he grabbed the gift and threw it in any direction. He didn't care what happened to it. As far as he was concerned, it could be broken and he wouldn't care.

 

`I guess all I can do now is leave. I have no reason to stay and have my heart broken more than it already is. Maybe I'll even be able to get on with my life,' he thought before he went back to packing his clothes.

 

*****

 

Though the event had been a complete disaster, Cagalli couldn't help but notice that Lacus was finally moving around again. Yet at the same time, she couldn't bring herself to talk to the pink haired woman for what she'd done to Kira. This had made the atmosphere of the room a bit unbearable for the past few days.

 

Lacus looked over towards Cagalli and watched as she got dressed and ready to leave. “So Kira's really leaving today?” she questioned and Cagalli just nodded her head in response. Lacus didn't expect much more than that because it had become normal the last few days.

 

“I guess you're not planning to go then,” Cagalli finally replied which was pretty much more than she had talked to Lacus since Lacus broke her brother's heart. She saw Lacus shake her head no and frowned. “Why not?”

 

“Because I don't deserve to,” Lacus replied with regret very clearly shown in her eyes. She couldn't help it. She knew how Kira must've felt right when she did what she did. `No, he must be feeling worse. At least Derek turned me down himself. I took the cowards way out and ran away,' Lacus thought with a sigh as she sat down in a chair and looked out their window.

 

“I think that's more for Kira to decide,” Cagalli replied not even looking at Lacus. “But that's only if you start being a bit more honest with your feelings. You don't seem to realize just how hard it was for Kira to admit his feelings for you. He's loved you for such a long but you never even gave him a chance. You instead took a cowards way out by running away. It might not have been so bad if you had gently turned him down but to run away from him must've hurt him more than anything,” Cagalli explained before she grabbed her keys and started to head towards the door to go see Kira off. “It's up to you what you decide to do but stop hurting Kira,” Cagalli muttered before she walked out the door without even bothering to look at Lacus.

 

Lacus didn't move after that. She just stared out the window at the figures below. She'd seen Kira and Athrun walk by there several times while taking his things out to Athrun's car.

 

“Why did I do that to you Kira?” Lacus quietly questioned to herself. “How could I not have noticed? Kira was always there for me when I had problems. He always listened to me go on and on about Derek and yet he never said a word, instead he urged me along to make me happy. In the end I only repay him for all of that with heartbreak,” she said before noticing that Kira had come out again only this time he wasn't carrying anything meaning that he was probably finished.

 

`Even if he never said anything doesn't mean that I shouldn't have known. He's always shown me much more care and love in the past than he showed anyone, even his own family. I should've seen that but I was too blind and stubborn to… no, it was that I didn't want to or rather I was too scared to,' she thought as her heart clenched tightly in her chest at the thought of never seeing Kira again.

 

`I just… never wanted to fall in love with you. If I did and we became a couple then there was a chance I could lose your friendship if things didn't work out. Look where that has gotten me though,' she thought while wiping at her watery eyes.

 

Her hand came up and was placed over her heart which continued to hurt. `Why does it hurt so much though? When Derek turned me down it didn't hurt nearly as much as this. The thought of losing Kira tears my heart apart,' she thought as she stood

 

A thought then came to Lacus that made her realize something. `Even though I'm still not sure how I feel. I don't want to lose him. I want to at least be with Kira. I'm willing to do anything for that. I realize he probably won't have me but I feel I at least need to try. I want to make it up to him. I want to love him. I just need time though. I just hope he can give me that,' she thought as she went about getting ready.

 

She turned to look at the clock only to cringe in fear at how much time had unknowingly passed. `Oh no! I've only got forty minutes before his plane leaves. Not to mention it takes at least thirty minutes to get there and even more to navigate it!' Lacus thought in a panic as she rushed to get ready before rushing out of the room. She was lucky to find a cab quickly which drove her as fast as it could to the airport.

 

*****

 

Athrun and Cagalli each gave Kira a hug when the plane started to board passengers. “Take care Kira and don't forget to call us,” Cagalli said giving him a smile but inside she was frowning that Lacus didn't even try to come.

 

“I won't,” Kira said with a smile even though he felt like shit inside. `Looks like she really doesn't care that I'm leaving. I never thought she could act like this,' Kira thought trying his best to keep the smile on his face.

 

Kira then heard them announcing boarding for his section. He headed towards the counter and checked in. He then took a look back before he turned and started to head to the gate. `She really didn't come,' he thought not sure is he should be relieved or sad about this fact.

 

Athrun and Cagalli saw him disappear into the gate and turned around. Their eyes widened when right at that moment the saw a pink rushing towards them. `So she really did come, it's too late though,' Athrun thought with a frown as she came to a stop in front of the two of them.

 

“W-where is he?” Lacus questioned looking around frantically for Kira. The looks on Athrun and Cagalli's faces were enough. She couldn't believe it, she was too late. He'd already left. `Now I'll never get to tell him anything,' Lacus thought suddenly looking very weak. She felt like she was about to collapse.

 

Cagalli wasn't sure whether she should feel glad about this or sad for Lacus. By the looks of it Lacus really wanted to be able to see Kira. “If you wanted to see him then you should've come earlier,” Cagalli said a little more coldly than she meant to.

 

Before she could say anything else, Athrun tapped her on the shoulder. “Come on. We should get going and leave her alone,” he said in a way that made Cagalli look at him a bit confused before she realized and nodded before the two of them walked off.

 

Lacus watched them in confusion before looking up and seeing that Kira was standing there staring at her with wide eyes. “K-Kira,” Lacus muttered as her feet started to move in his direction. She could help herself as she threw herself in his arms giving him a tight hug.

 

Kira was surprised when she hugged him. He felt so warm and comfortable in her embrace. Then his eyes suddenly steeled as he pushed her away. “What are you doing here Lacus? You've made it clear that you don't care so why rub it in?” he asked bitterly refusing to look into the beautiful blue orbs of hers.

 

“I'm sorry Kira. I never meant for things to turn out like that,” Lacus said a little too silently for her liking. She couldn't help it though. The Kira before her made her feel timid for some reason. “I was scared. So much had happened and I was confused. But I realized something when I knew I was going to lose. I want to…” she said but was cut off by Kira.

 

“Save it,” Kira said harshly. “I don't feel like hearing it Lacus. You've done enough and I'm tired of your indecisiveness,” he continued before turning his back to her. “Whatever you have to say means nothing to me,” he said picking up the bag that he'd accidentally forgotten and had to come back to get.

 

“Please don't be like that Kira! I know I made a mistake that day but I'm trying to make up for it! I realized that I want to be with you though. That I'm willing to give it a chance Kira!” Lacus said which made him stop in his tracks.

 

“I don't need your pity,” he said sharply before turning his head a little. “I'm not going to put myself through all that again Lacus. The first sign that he's free and you'll be all over him and I don't want that!” he continued before taking a deep breath. “Tell me Lacus. Are you saying this because you actually want to be with me, or is it that you can't be with him and I'm just the next best thing like always?!” he asked raising his voice a bit while narrowing his eyes at her.

 

Lacus was taken aback by his question. `He must've felt like this every time that I talked to him about Derek. That's not what I feel though. He's special to me, more than anyone else. How do I make him realize that though?' she asked herself hesitating since she didn't know how to prove her answer to him.

 

Unfortunately for Lacus, Kira took her hesitation the wrong way. “You can't even be honestly and answer me like always! Looks like I got my answer!” he said harshly before turning completely away from her while heading back towards the gate where they were waiting for him. “I don't need your pity, I don't need your indecision, and I don't need you! Just leave me alone Lacus and let me get on with my life like I planned!” he said not even giving her a chance to speak before he ran back into the gate where he knew she couldn't follow him.

 

“Kira! Wait!” Lacus yelled after him but he was already in there and wouldn't be turning back. Then the doors closed since he was the last one on and he was gone from her life. “I… I…” she stuttered as her body shook.

 

Her knees gave out from underneath her and she fell to the ground where she started to cry freely. She didn't care that there were other people around even though she always kept up a strong front in public. She didn't care that they were staring at her. Kira was gone and left with all those harsh words. All that mattered to her right then was that he was gone and she never got the chance to tell him how she truly felt.