Gundam SEED Fan Fiction ❯ Preternatural Fate ❯ Chapter 4

"Preternatural Fate" -- A Kira-Cagalli fiction

written May 21, 2006

revised January 2008

by Andrea Readwolf <andrea_readwolf @hotmail.com>

 

--Part 4--

 

 

She dismissed her attendants almost immediately. She rarely used their assistance in the evenings. She preferred this quiet time when she could expect to be left in privacy from the entirety of the world.

 

Only one person would dare to intrude upon her inner sanctuary after she'd closed and locked the door to her quarters, and he never used the front door. She wondered if he would come to her tonight. Would he be able to stay away?

 

She caught sight of her image in one of the reflecting glasses and paused a moment before grabbing up fistfuls of the satin silk material her attendants insisted on dressing her in for bed. She preferred to sleep naked and ended up that way most nights anyway. Tonight she would just start a little earlier, she decided, tearing the garment off to expose her nude body to the mirror.

 

Her breasts looked as swollen as they felt, she thought. Would he notice the difference as well? And the rest of her... Of course it was still too early in her pregnancy to really notice any changes, but... She turned profile, purposefully sticking out her gut. In only a few short months her belly would be protruding with child. Would her love still think her sexy then?

 

"Are you that enthused about having that man's baby?" a softly aggrieved voice asked from the shadows.

 

Cagalli looked over her shoulder to the slide away panel that secreted the hidden passages of the estate. "Are you finished sulking?" she returned, turning back.

 

"I wasn't--"

 

"You disappeared after lunch and never returned for dinner," she interrupted, posing before the mirror and studying her reflection there.

 

"There was work," Kira answered quietly.

 

"And are you finished with your oh so important work now?" she practically snapped before forcing herself to breathe and relax. "Kira," she tried again in a softer more cajoling voice, a tone she'd only ever taken with her dear brother. "Come here," she requested, holding a hand out to him, as she would to a skittish colt.

 

He did, hesitantly so, stopping just feet away. He didn't try and touch her, wouldn't look at her, either. "You should put something on or you'll catch a cold," he whispered hoarsely.

 

Her hand dropped to her side. "Does my body disgust you now?" she asked, fighting the waver in her voice, the unexpected hurt she felt.

 

"No," he answered, swallowing compulsively. "Never. You---your... no."

 

Somewhat reassured, she still couldn't resist pushing that bit further. "Desire, then?"

 

He looked up and she saw it--the fiery passion burning brightly in his amethyst blue eyes, tingling up along her skin and pooling hotly in her belly. Oh, he still wanted her, still desired her, and the wanting, the need, was eating him up even as it fed off her. She moaned, eyes falling shut as his desire slammed into her with a physical force. She could feel him, all of him, on her, surrounding her, filling her---and he wasn't even touching her yet.

 

"You want me," she breathed, her voice a husky representation of her own lust. Her hands trailed up her thighs, her belly, her breasts, and she could hear his breathing grow harsher.

 

"Cagalli, put something on," he tried to tell her.

 

She peered at him beneath lowered lashes--his shaking body, hands clenched at his sides... How long would he try and resist. She lowered her arms, shoulders thrown back and chin high as she answered, "Make me."

 

He swallowed. Shifted. "Cagalli," he tried again, voice breaking as he choked on his lust for her, and he screwed his eyes shut as if lack of sight would help him regain his control.

 

It only gave her the advantage, she thought, her eyes fluttering down as she brought one hand up to her swollen breasts. "They're so tender," she breathed, "So sensitive." Her breathing grew faster. "It's like there's an electric circus racing beneath my skin, making everything feel ten times more extreme."

 

A sobbed breath left him with shoulders slumped, and her chest panged.

 

"Kira, why do you still fight this?" she asked softly, hurting because she knew he hurt. "Fight us?"

 

"Because it's wrong," he ground out in a harsh whisper. "And you know it is, Cagalli."

 

"It doesn't have to be, Kira," she said simply, aching to cross the short meters that separated them still. "It doesn't have to be," she repeated more fiercely, hands itching to slide around his face and force him to look at her directly. "I love you, Kira. I love you so desperately, want you so badly."

 

She wanted to collapse against him, tuck herself so neatly in his arms, breathing in the clean, light musk scent of him. "I need you, Kira. I can't be me without you."

 

She watched the struggle, the indecision war in his eyes and for a moment she felt a brief brush of fear that this finally would be too much for him, that this would be the last straw. That out of everything she'd put him through, put both them and their friends through, that this would finally break him. She didn't want to break him--she needed him. She couldn't do this without him. He needed to know that. She thought he knew that.

 

She started to waver, started to reach for him, to call his name and maybe--just maybe--ask for forgiveness for everything, for nothing; but Kira had made up his own mind in the span of seconds it took her to doubt herself. He closed the distance between them in six quick strides, reached for her as she reached for him, and buried his face into the curve of her throat as he pulled her close. She clung to him.

 

It was a lost battle the moment they touched--from the moment they'd first met each other, she mused. He was hers--no matter how many other women he'd tried to be with, he belonged to her. His heart, his soul was in her possession, just as hers was in his.

 

Two months was a damn long time apart.

 

His arms came up around her, hesitating only a fraction of a moment before tightening, pulling her closer against him. And then his chin dipped, hers rose, and their mouths met in a series of hot breaths, hungered moans, dueling tongues, and clashing teeth.

 

"I missed you. I missed you so much. I was going damn near insane, thinking about you. You and... him. Thinking about what you must be doing with him. And then you return only to throw this in my face?"

 

He reared back to glare angrily down at her, but his anger could not match or hide his pain.

 

"Kira..."

 

"Did you think I could calmly accept another man's--any man's baby growing inside you and not hate it? Hate you? Hate myself because I want it to be mine? Dammit, Cagalli," he cried with a growl and jerked her back against him, choking out another curse.

 

She realized the warm tickle against her cheeks was her own tears and gasped as the pain--the cruel unfairness of it all reached inside her chest and squeezed. "Kira, Kira," she cried softly over and over again until she could lift her face to his and taste his tears on her lips.

 

Could she tell him the truth? Would it save him any pain if he knew the babe was really his? His child that he could never claim as his? Wouldn't that be worse than not knowing the truth? Than believing a lie? But... surely...

 

"Kira, what if it was yours?" she asked softly, still kissing his face lightly. "Ours? Our baby, growing inside me," she added taking his hand and pressing it against her womb. "Would that make you happy?"

 

"I," he tried to speak, but his voice was strangled by emotion. He continued to caress her middle. "I don't know," he answered finally. "Maybe. Maybe not," he admitted.

 

"Then let it be ours," she offered brashly. "In our minds and in our hearts, let it be our baby, yours and mine, Kira. Your baby," she whispered pressing her lips to his. "If it were your baby, growing inside me, then what would you do?"

 

He surprised her. That's why she yelped when he picked her up swiftly, hooking her knees with one arm before carrying her to the bed and setting her down carefully, gently.

 

"Tell me again," he said, drawing back to look down at her. "Tell me and mean it."

 

She reached for him, and he let her pull him down against her. "Your baby, Kira. Your--"

 

His mouth crushed down on hers, his tongue pressing between her lips and caressing her insides. He moved against her, slid between her legs and moved against her. She cried out, writhing beneath him in maddening over-sensation. His hands came to her breasts, squeezing and she shouted. "Your baby," she gasped. "Your baby, inside me. Yours!"

 

Cold air rushed against her skin and she cried out in protest, grasping for him, but he pulled away.

 

"I want to be inside you," Kira told her as he stood up straight beside the bed staring down at her.

 

"Yes."

 

"I want you, my way tonight," he continued, waiting for her protests. They didn't come.

 

"Yes," she repeated. "I want you, Kira. Missed you. Unbearably. Missed you so much. Missed you before I even left. Please, Kira, don't keep me missing you. Want you, inside me, Kira. Want you."

 

"My way," he repeated.

 

"For tonight," she agreed.

 

If he was surprised, he hid it well, but he couldn't hide his nervousness as he licked his lips and watched her. "Fine. Okay then. Good. Sit up, up on the bed," he motioned and waited until she scooted back towards the pillows and headboard. Then, still watching her, he undressed.

 

She watched him, couldn't help but get excited as each bit and piece of him was revealed. Rationally she knew he'd slept with other women, but this, she thought as he climbed naked onto the bed, this was hers. Hers and no one else's. He belonged to her, with her, forever.

 

He stopped before he reached her and sat, kneeling on the bed. "Come here," he commanded softly, calmly.

 

She could play this game, she thought. No, she wanted to play this game. Kira, her Kira, like this was exciting, she realized as she crawled across the sheets. Exciting and incredibly sexy.

 

"Kiss me," he told her, and she did. "Tell me again."

 

"Your baby," she said against his lips. "It's your baby, Kira. Your baby inside me."

 

He shoved her back and she cried out again; huffing out an exhale when her back crashed into the mattress. He hovered over her, so close but not touching her, and his eyes shined brightly as he stared down at her from so close.

 

"Do you mean it? Do you really mean it, Cagalli? Is the baby really mine?"

 

"Yes," she whispered brokenly, squeezing her eyes shut tight against the sight of him. Would he believe, or would he think it a continuation of an act. Either or, for this moment, she wanted to it to be real between them. "It's yours, Kira. If you want it to be," she choked out as an after thought.

 

"You really do mean it," he breathed out in awe, his warm breath scalding her face. "It really is--" He stared down at her, making a study of her face before dropping to her abdomen.

 

"It can't leave this room, Kira," she broke in quickly, panic now clawing at her throat. "It can't."

 

"Would you have told me?" he suddenly demanded. "Were you going to tell me?"

 

She swallowed and turned away. "No."

 

He breathed out and finally relaxed his arms, angling his body so he lay against her but not directly on top of her. His hand skimmed down her chest and stomach to rest over the natural shape of her womb.

 

"Did you know," he asked finally. "Before you married Masaharu, did you know you were pregnant and carry my child?"

 

"I couldn't be sure yet, no. It was too soon. But I hoped and I prayed," she admitted, not ready to look at him yet.

 

"And you didn't tell me." His hand felt heavy where it sat, a warm solid weight resting over where their child grew.

 

"I couldn't, Kira. I... shouldn't have told you now,” she rasped, fighting back treacherous tears. “It was a weakness on my part. It's dangerous. If Masaharu every found out, or even suspected..."

 

"You're sure?” he hissed. “You're positive it's not his?"

 

She nodded, having to swallow before answering, "I was very careful. I took precautions, Kira."

 

"The night before the wedding... You knew. You planned this," he realized. "You manipulated me, and you weren't even going to tell me."

 

"I wanted your baby," she said simply.

 

"Our baby."

 

She turned and studied his face. Would it make that much of a difference to him? "Yes."

 

He kissed her, as if he would eat her up, swallow her whole. He moved on top of her again, and her legs fell apart for him, wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer. With a little maneuvering he as there, able to join their bodies and he dove in to the root of himself, filling her as completely as he ever had. She screamed and undulated around him, and it was heaven.

 

 

"Kira! Please!" she cried, clutching at him.

 

He echoed her cry, lunging back up to find her lips once more as her thighs wrapped demandingly around his waist, pressing her core against him and undulating.

 

"Cagalli, oh god, Cagalli, I," he tried to tell her, but the words just got in the way. He forced her back onto the bed and rose over her, staring down at her, eyes glistening with the lust and love she induced in him.

 

She moaned his name, a long drawn out caress as she shifted to take more of him into her. "More, Kira," she demanded softly. "More."

 

"Go over," he whispered hoarsely. "Go over for me, Cagalli. Let me see you."

 

And she would, she knew even as she clung to him and sobbed his name, her body contracting around his in an almost painful rush. He didn't stop, and the sharp pleasure of it all stroked her further.

 

Hot tears trailed tiny rivers over her throat and shoulder as they moved together and apart in tandem, pressed together from chest to groin.

 

"I love you, Cagalli. I love you so much. You're mine--you're both mine, and I can't have you. I want you. You should be mine for real. I could kill him and then--"

 

He broke off, burying his face back against her throat. His sobs were scalding and wet against her skin, as she continued to do the only thing she could and held him to her with arms and body. She continued to hold him close all through the night until it was long past the time when he should have returned to his own room. Continue to hold and love him all the while cursing herself for her weakness, for sharing the burden of truth with him.

 

But really, she wondered, would she ever have been able to keep this truth from her love, her heart, her twin?

 

 

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