Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Dating Disaster ❯ Episode One ( Chapter 1 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: All copyrighted characters and storyline belong to their respective creators. In the case of a parody, the very basic plotline belongs to the creator of the original story. This story and, if applicable, any newly invented characters belong to me.
All things Gundam Wing belong to makers Hajime Yadate and Yoshiyuki Tomino. The show belongs to Sunrise, ANB, TV Asahi, etc. The toys belong to Bandai. The voices belong to their respective seiyuu. The song(s) belong to Two-Mix (I think). Am I missing anything?
All things Sailor Moon belong to maker Naoko Takeuchi.


Warning: This fic was written before I got into 1x2/2x1, or 3x4/4x3. So Relena is after Heero, Hilde *shudder* is after Duo, and they are not a couple. *glares at self* I'm putting up a homosexual version, too, heterophobes! *sighs in relief* Ahhh, yes, shounen-ai...

(A combination of "Moonlight Densetsu" and "Just Communication" plays)

Hotaru: Good evening, and welcome to the first ever blind date talk show for inter-anime cast!

Haruka: We're your hosts, Haruka Tenou and Hotaru Tomoe. I'd like to introduce our ten contestants!

Hotaru: In the shadows over here, we have contestants 01, 02, 03, 04, and 05.

Haruka: In the dark on *this* side are contestants Pink, Blue, Red, Green and Yellow.

Hotaru: Haruka-san and I shall take turns asking both sets questions.

Haruka: In the final ten minutes, they may each ask one person on the other side a question. Let's begin!

Hotaru: All right. 01, 02, 03, 04, 05- what is the one word that best describes yourself?

01: Hn...

02: Oh, that's easy! He's suicidal!

01: (causally tips 02's chair over) Serious.

02: *Owww...* Um, let's just say... ichiban!

Haruka: In English, please.

02: But it's two words in English!

Hotaru: Then pick a different adjective.

02: Fine... funny.

03: Solemn.

04: Uh... friendly.

05: I'd say-

02: He's sexist!

05: (gets up, throws his chair at 02)

Haruka: Woah, settle down!

05: Proud.

Haruka: All right, next. The girls. Describe yourselves in one word.

Pink: Perfect! (Red coughs, mutters "as if")

Hotaru: Red? Care to contradict her?

Red: Definately! I don't think a whiny, babyish, idiotic airhead like her is perfect!

Haruka: I'll have to agree. Pink, choose something else. Red offered some useful ones.

Pink: (thinks for a moment) HEY! I'm hurt! I'll just say... spirited.

Blue: Eh... intellectual.

Red: I'd say-

Pink: Snooby, conceited, rude, annoying...

Red: Shut up!

Hotaru: Red, please refrain from unnecessary negative comments.

Pink: Huh?

Red: Fine, then- determined. (Pink mutters "stubborn brat") NANDATTE?!

Haruka: English.

Red: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

Green: Okay, be quiet, my turn! (smiles broadly) Domestic!

Hotaru: Eh... what do you mean?

Green: I cook, clean, sew and shop.

Yellow: Okay, my turn! I SHINE!

Haruka: Yellow...

Yellow: (meekly) Er... I'm outgoing?

Hotaru: (sighs) All right. Guys- if someone made you mad, how would you respond? Verbal and actions, please.

01: Omae o korosu.

Hotaru: Eh?

Heero: It means "I'll kill you." Then I shoot them or set explosives around their house.

Haruka: (shakes Hotaru to revive her- she passed out) Okay, then... 02?

02: I talk.

Hotaru: (groggily) Eh?

02: I talk. I make threats, I'm sarcastic, I-

Haruka: Okay, then- 03?

03: I use highly explosive artillery, and am nonverbal.

04: I... um... (blush)

05: Let's just say don't piss Qua- him off.

Hotaru: Hm?

02: When he gets upset enough, he becomes mentally... er... unbalanced.

Haruka: Eh? You have a history of insanity?

04: Um... eh... er... heh heh...

02: In other words... NO DUH!

Hotaru: What about you, 05?

05: Slice them up. There is no place in the world for those who don't respect justice.

02: Justice... ha...

05: Speak for yourself, oh Shinigami.

02: (stands, throws chair at 05) Are you testing me? Shall I exhibit my abilities?

02 makes a fist. 05 stands, 03 and 04 pull 05 down, 01 yanks 02's braid, 02 loses his balance and falls against 01, 05 pulls away and charges 02. 02 and 01 go flying into the audience, 01 hits Relena (everyone sees he's Heero now), Pink, Yellow, Red, and Green shriek and swoon. Relena blushes happily, Heero pulls away annoyed, pulls out his gun, leaps onto stage, points it at 05 who is Wufei. Blue attempts to revive her friends, Wufei pulls out sword)

Relena/Hilde/Cathrine: STOP! (rush onto stage; Relena pulls away Heero's gun, Hilde takes the pistol Duo is loading up, Cathrine shields Trowa from posssible harm- daggers ready. Quatre cowers behind Trowa)

Pink: Oh, no! We have to stop them!

Green: Yeah, which will require getting close to those hunky- er, I mean, dangerous guys!

Yellow: I claim the one with the braid! (Hilde hears, storms over, slaps her- it's Minako)

Hilde: I don't think so!

Red: Bad choice. Ooh, I like that guy with the gun! (heats float around Rei as she watches Heero)

Relena: (in Rei's face immediately) I. Don't. THINK. So. Over my dead body are YOU getting anywhere near MY Heero! (Heero turns beet red)

Minako/Rei: NOOOOOOOOO!!

Hilde/Relena: YES!!

Hotaru/Haruka: Calm down!!

Minako: Hey, this is a blind date game, isn't it? They can't interfere!

Ami Everybody, stop fighting! (everybody keeps fighting, even Relena & Rei)

Heero: (takes the top foam stuff off of his microphone- there is ared button underneath) We are on an enormous mobile suit. (everyone is shocked- he holds out the device) If everyone doesn't shut up, I will self-destruct. (everyone calms down)

Hotaru: Well, um, that ends our first, only, and very unsuccessful episode of Inter-Anime Match-Ups!

Haruka bows, Hotaru curtsies, close curtain, shut off cameras

Duo: Great, why is it always Heero who saves the day? Why not me, for once?