Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ Dating Disaster ❯ Episode Two ( Chapter 2 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Disclaimer: All copyrighted characters and storyline belong to their respective creators. In the case of a parody, the very basic plotline belongs to the creator of the original story. This story and, if applicable, any newly invented characters belong to me.
All things Gundam Wing belong to makers Hajime Yadate and Yoshiyuki Tomino. The show belongs to Sunrise, ANB, TV Asahi, etc. The toys belong to Bandai. The voices belong to their respeftive seiyuu. The song(s) belong to Two-Mix (I think). Am I missing anything?
All things Sailor Moon belong to maker Naoko Takeuchi.
Warning: Unlike Dating Disaster 1, this one contains shounen-ai content. As in, Relena *wants* Heero, but Duo gets him. No knife-wielding Cathrine, only on-the-verge-of-snapping Quatre. It's 1+2/2+1, 3+4/4+3, and Wufei hooks up with *static bleeps out who he's paired with*. Oh, too bad, you'll just have to read and see who Wufei's perfect match is! I don't own any dating game shows, either.
For you who don't watch Sailor Moon in Japanese and the names in Dating Disaster 1 confused you, here you go:
Pink = Usagi = Serena = Sailor Moon
Blue = Ami = Amy = Sailor Mercury
Red = Rei = Raye = Sailor Mars
Green = Makoto = Lita = Sailor Jupiter
Yellow = Minako = Mina = Sailor Venus
------ = Hotaru = Hotaru = Sailor Saturn (my favorite!)
------ = Haruka = Amara = Sailor Uranus
(A combination of "Moonlight Densetsu" and "Just Communication" plays)

Hotaru: Welcome back, to episode two of Inter-Anime Match-Ups! Once again, I am Hotaru Tomoe, and this is my co-host, Haruka Tenou!

Haruka: Well, more like a re-attempt at the couples in Episode One. However, as we already know who is who, it won't be a "blind date" game.

Hotaru: We realize that there are other ways to mask the contestants. But they are already familiar with one another, so that seemed pointless.

Haruka: First, we will ask the contestants a few question. The audience is not permitted to come onto stage. Relena, Hilde and Cathrine have been restrained. And hopefully, we will get to the point where the contestants may ask each other- anybody they wish- questions.

Duo: ~hopefully~ ANYBODY?

Haruka: Yes. Now, shall we begin? Hotaru-chan?

Hotaru: Thank you, Haruka-san. Beginning with Heero-san, what's the main thing you would look for?

Heero: In the person or in the relationship?

Hotaru: In the relationship.

Heero: Complete loyalty... without being a clingy, annoying brat or a stalker. *glances at the audience and shudders at the sight of Relena*

Haruka: Duo-kun?

Duo: Hm...? Oh. Uh... someone who can withstand my chatter, even enjoy it.

Haruka Is that possible... *Heero glares at her discreetly* Oh, I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. Trowa-kun?

Trowa: Being able to feel comfortable, despite the past I've lived through.

Quatre: Oh, that's so sad, Trowa! ~tears~ Daijoubu?

Trowa: I'm fine, little one. *Haruka raises at eyebrow at them*

Haruka: Quatre, go.

Quatre: Mutual respect and understanding.

Hotaru: Oh, how sweet! Wufei, your turn.

Wufei: Honor! She must not be a dishonorable fool! She must value justice and be strong! *Rei's and Makoto's eyes light up*

Haruka: Girls, what would you value in a significant other?

Usagi: Someone who loves me completely and unconditionally! ~dreamily~ Just like Tuxedo Kamen-sama...

Rei: You idiot, you already HAVE a boyfriend! Hmph. I want someone who respects my independent flair and beauty!

Usagi: ~cough~ Conceited. ~cough~

Rei: WHAT DID YOU-

Hotaru: Rei-san! It was not your turn! Ami-san, please go.

Ami: Someone kind and intelligent. *thinks fondly of Urawa-kun*

Makoto: Someone whom I can cook for all the time! And is tall and strong, like me!

Minako: Someone who loves to hear me sing! Of course, he's gotta be cute, and hopefully he'll be able to boost my future career as an idol singer! And-

Haruka: All right, then. Boys, what is a requirement your significant other must have? Or to rephrase it, what must they be able to do for you?

Heero: Trust me. Have complete faith in me.

Duo: Heero, you've saved Earth. Twice. The whole WORLD has faith in you!

Hotaru: Duo-san-

Duo: Just Duo.

Hotaru: Duo, your turn.

Duo: *grimaces and holds up his braid* Braid my hair for me every day. And brush it out at night. It takes me forever to do it myself!

Heero: Baka, I already do that.

Duo: ~grin~ I know. But... ~grin fades~ If I end up hooking up with somebody, then you won't... have to.

Hotaru: *notes their conversation and expressions with interest* Okay, Trowa-san, you're next.

Trowa: I'm not Japanese. Call me Trowa. Be able to enjoy being at a circus, including the not-so-bright parts of it.

Haruka: Such as...?

Trowa: Feeding the lions raw meat. Hours of acrobatic practice. Knives flying through the air.

Haruka: You know the order. Just keep going, everyone.

Quatre: Not be offended by my schedule, and being willing to simply enjoy peaceful activities together once in a while.

Wufei: Be strong and willing to spend hours devoted to martial arts training!

Rei: Oh, how BORING!

Makoto: What are you talkking about? Training is fun and healthy!

Usagi: Then again, this is coming from the girl who went off to the mountains on her own to train all day long. *Wufei looks interested*

Hotaru: Okay. Next. Girls, if you could be any mythological creature, what would it be?

Usagi: Unicorns! Or a Pegasus! Which one has the wings and the horn? And symbolizes purity, like the moon?

Rei: You idiot. Unicorns have horns. Pegasus has wings. Neither have both! And they BOTH symbolize purity!

Usagi: But... Helios-

Rei: He's neither. He's a PRIEST. But anyway, I'd be a phoenix! A beautiful, mystical bird from the ultimate heat source, the sun!

Hotaru: Rei-san, will you quit taking Ami-san's turn?

Rei: Oh, sorry, Ami-chan!

Ami: It's okay. I would be a mermaid or a water nymph.

Makoto: ~thinks of her Jupiter attack, Thunder Dragon~ I'd be a dragon! *Wufei looks very interested*

Minako: Oh, my turn, my turn! Let's see... what's beautiful and has a beautiful singing voice as well... oh, this is easy. I'd be the goddess, Aphrodite! (note: Aphrodite is the same as Venus)

Haruka: Invalid.

Minako: Oh, that's not fair! Hm, then what else is beautiful and powerful... oh, hey, why didn't I think of this sooner? I'd be a fairy!

Hotaru: Nice choice. Okay, back to the Gundam boys. What is your favorite thing to make?

Duo: To... make??

Haruka: Yes, to make. It can be anything from a salad to a sculpture to a story. Heero-kun, will you start us off?

Heero: Mechanical repairs.

Haruka: Oh, so you're good with your hands?

Heero: I'm a Gundam pilot. I have to be. ~Duo suddenly quite randomly blushes~

Hotaru: Are you okay, Duo?

Duo: Uh, yeah, I'm fine... ~color returns to normal; Heero gives him a funny look~ I'm fine!

Hotaru: Well, in that case, please answer the question. It's your turn.

Duo: Drawings. ~other Gundam pilots give him surprised looks; he smirks~ Ha, didn't know I had a skill, did ya? Yeah, I draw, and I'm pretty damn good at it, too!

Trowa: If you say so. Cooking.

Wufei: You cook? That's an onna's job!

Makoto: Yeah, that's our job!

Duo: Oh, man, you agreed with Wufei. You're perfect for him! ~Wufei glares at him~

Hotaru: Back to the topic. Quatre-sama?

Quatre: Music.

Haruka: Oh, what's your instrument?

Quatre: *blush* Piano and violin.

Haruka: *smirk* I play the piano, and my girlfriend plays the violin.

Hotaru: So do I!

Quatre: Oh, we must get together and play sometime!

Haruka: I'll talk to Michiru about it. Wufei-kun?

Wufei: I'm CHINESE, not Japanese! Enough of this kun suffix nonsense!

Haruka: Just answer.

Wufei: Written works.

Hotaru: Pardon?

Wufei: Writing anything informative. ~Duo looks surprised~ Maxwell, stop staring. I was a scholar before becoming a Gundam pilot.

Duo: You're kidding.

Wufei: I never kid.

Duo: Yeah, that's for-

Haruka: Girls! Final question before opening the floor.

Suddenly, a spectacled man sprints onto the stage, his blue-haired wife trying to hold him back. He is Kenji Tsukino, and his wife is Ikuko. Usagi's parents.

Kenji: USAGI!! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE!?

Usagi: EEP!! Um, heh heh, hi dad... hi mom... heh...

Kenji: Young miss, you are GROUNDED UNTIL YOU'RE THIRTY!

Usagi: *begins crying* But daddyyyyyy-

Kenji: Don't "but-daddy" me! Home! NOW!

Ikuko: Now, dear, it's almost over-

Kenji: NOW!! *drags Usagi away*

Haruka: Well... um... we're now down to four females. We'll have to make do.

Ami: *leaps up* Oh! I'm going to be late!

Hotaru: Ami-san? Daijoubu?

Ami: Oh... *blushes* I'm supposed to meet Urawa-kun outside right now... pardon me.

Haruka: Urawa? *Ami blushes*

Ami: Um... well...

Makoto: Her boyfriend.

Ami: Mako-chan! It's not like that! He's just a very good-

Minako: Boyfriend. Admit it! ~grinning, pushes Ami out the door~

Duo: What the hell?

Hotaru: *turns to audience* We are down to three females and all five males. If anybody else must leave, please do so now.

Silence.

Haruka: All right, then. Let's proceed. Um... Rei-san, Makoto-san, Minako-san: what is an activity you enjoy doing that you consider healthy?

Rei: Meditating. It cleanses your soul.

Wufei: Fool. It's not meant to cleanse your soul, it clears your mind.

Rei: Whatever! It does both!

Makoto: My turn, be quiet! I like training, especially martial arts!

Duo: Told ya, Wuffie!

Wufei: I am not Wuffie!

Duo: She's, like, your soulmate!

Wufei: Be quiet, Maxwell!

Duo: But seriously-

Wufei: I said to shut up! ~lifts his chair and hurls it at Duo, who freezes~

Duo: What the... ~suddenly, Heero stands, catches it, and throws it back at a surprised Wufei~

Heero: Omae o korosu, Wufei.

Minako: *waves arms* Hey! Yoo-hoo! It's my turn here! I like to dance!

Hotaru: Okay. Now, and only now, the floor is open to ask one another questions!

Duo: How many?

Haruka: Two each. You know the order.

Heero: I have no questions.

Hotaru: Well, then, we'll skip you for now.

Duo: Heechan, why did you save me?

Heero: Why do you want to know?

Duo: *blush* Um, just curious, I guess...

Heero: Curiosity killed the cat.

Duo: But satisfaction brought it back!

Quatre: *smiles* Nice one, Duo.

Duo: Heero-?

Heero: Instinct.

Wufei: Whatever. Why did you threaten to kill me for throwing the chair at him?

Heero: It's not your turn. Trowa, go.

Trowa: *raises an eyebrow* All right. Quatre, will you go out with me?

Stunned silence.

Quatre: Are you serious?

Trowa: Is that a yes?

Quatre: *glomps him* Is that a good enough answer for you?

Trowa: *smiles* Yes.

Rei: Oh, great, now I know four homosexuals. Five including Seiya-kun.

Haruka: Aww, how sweet.

Hotaru: *giggles* Just like you and Michiru-momma!

Haruka: *soft smirk* Now, Hotaru-chan, that's not for the public.

Wufei: It's about time, you two.

Quatre: Hm?

Wufei: *rolls eyes* You two made your attraction so obvious. Not as much as Duo's, but much more than Heero's.

Heero/Duo: WHAT!?

Minako: Ahh, THAT'S why they were eyeing each other through the whole show!

Heero: *glares* You're speaking nonsense.

Makoto: HEY! EVERYBODY SHUT UP! IT'S WUFEI'S TURN TO ASK QUESTIONS! *everybody shuts up* Ha, there's justice for you!

Wufei: Makoto, what forms of martial arts do you study?

Makoto: Whatever I can. Whatever is available for me to try.

Wufei: And to get my second question out of the way: Heero, Duo, why don't you two just hook up and get it over with? It's clear that you're, in simple if not highly crude terms, lusting after each other.

Duo: *both blush fiercely* WHAT!? Wha... I... uh... But I didn't... I never...

Heero: ...

Duo: I uh... um... blurgh, er, ah... ~Wufei raises an eyebrow and the stage/audience is silent~

Duo: Um... uh... er...

Heero: *sighs* Screw this!

Heero rises out of his seat, leans over a very stunned Duo, puts a hand around the back of his head, and pulls him forward into a very intense, very long kiss. The audience goes wild, and everyone on stage begins cheering and clapping. A few whistles and hoots pierce the roaring as well.

Duo: ~they break the kiss; Duo is still red~ H- Heero... ~breaks out into a huge grin as he turns to Wufei~ Thanks, man, I owe you one! ~throws himself at Heero for another kiss, and the cheering resumes~

Haruka: Ahh, I love happy endings.

Rei: Hey, this ain't no happy ending! What about the three of us?!

Minako: Yeah! Rei-chan, Mako-chan and I are always the ones left without any guys!

Makoto: Speak for yourselves. *turns to Wufei* Wufei, with your whole men-women separation thing going on, this may seem out of place, but, well, will you go out with me?

Duo: *breathlessly* Say yes, Wu-man. You know you want to.

Wufei: ...

Makoto: *nervously* Well?

Wufei: Sure. Why not.

More cheering erupts from the crowds. The studio walls begin to tremble violently from the energy streaming from the audience. Duo finds himself being carried as Heero suddenly stands and leaves the stadium. He's grinning and has Heero in a death grip. Heero, being the Perfect Soldier, is unaffected in any negative manner.
Quatre and Trowa embrace warmly and watch as Hotaru and Haruka lead Makoto and Wufei from their seats to the center of the stage. They take hands, smiling.

Haruka: Well, four out of five males had their affections reciprocated, never mind the fact that it was amongst themselves. One female got taken home by her parents, one went home with her boyfriend off-show, and two remain single. ~shrugs~ At least Wufei-kun and Makoto-san paired off.

Quatre/Trowa/Wufei: Ninmu kanryou!

Hotaru: I suppose it must suffice. Farewell, all!

Haruka bows, Hotaru curtsies, close curtain, shut off cameras

Rei: Aw, rats. How come we're left single again?

Minako: At least you've got that long-haired dude to go home to! I've got no one!

Rei: Quit complaining, you can have him if you want. I'm not the slightest bit interested in him!

Minako: This wasn't fair! Ami-chan and Usagi-chan have boyfriends, and Mako-chan got one! The remaining four guys shoiuld have been split up between us!

Rei: B- But... Minako-chan... they're... they're all...

Minako: Gay? *Rei nods* So? They're still hot guys!

Rei/Minako: I WANT A BOYFRIEND!!

A/N:
Heh, how'd you like that? Wufei and Mako-chan? Trust me, it was not my intent with this fic. It just... happened.