Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ The Pole ❯ A Pole ( Chapter 1 )

Warnings: Usa/Hiiro, sexual innuendos, a little bit of swearing, and my poor pathetic attempt at humor. >_> Beware, be very aware.

Hello dearies! Yeah, I know, I'm so sad. -_-;; Originally, I meant this to be a oneshot, but I'm gonna post it in chapters now. It'll probably be 3 at the most...ehh, bear with me. ^^;;; Yeah, the title stinks. XD You might get it if you pay attention to this chapter. Lol. I don't know what else to say, so >.< on with the story.

Disclaimer: Bah, I don't own nothing. *realizes that's a double negative and gets her ass sued*

The Pole

"Honey, you need to get laid."

The blonde woman flipped her sunflower-colored hair back casually and stirred her drink with the straw, gauging her companion's reaction. It was all she had expected and more.

"Minako-chan!" she screeched, face blossoming to a color not unlike that of her friend's beloved red bow she always tied in her hair. "Hentai! Ecchi! You pervert!" she wailed, sapphire eyes wide as she pressed her hands to her burning face.

Minako burst out laughing, slapping her hand on the table. The ridiculous pair drew the attention from the entire café. Silence drowned the once bustling room, but neither seemed to notice as one blonde woman guffawed loudly and the other turned a deeper and deeper shade of crimson.

Then business went about as usual.

"I can't believe you said that!" she cried, large incredulous eyes still fixed on Minako.

She waved it off and took a sip of her drink, feeling Usagi's wide-eyed stare at the top of her head. She sucked on the straw slowly to draw out the silence.

Usagi was a sweet girl, a little dense, but not more so than her boyfriend. Minako had met him only a few times because supposedly, he wasn't much a people person. That had been the understatement of the year. The only things he had said were to answer Minako's insatiable curiosity. Actually, now that she thought about it, he hadn't said anything at all. She had asked him all 'yes-or-no' questions and he had answered with 'hn.'

And that was fine with Minako because she trusted her best friend's taste in people, even if Usagi was a little naïve. A few times, she had seen past that composed mask he liked to wear to glimpse a rippling swell of tenderness in unreadable dark eyes, directed solely to Usagi.

Lately, she had noticed Usagi was moodier and more easily irritated than usual. She had outright snapped at Rei once during their usual bickering sessions and then sulked guiltily afterwards. PMS was probable but not likely. Thus, Minako had come to the conclusion that her non-single best friend was sexually frustrated. It happened to the best of people.

Finally, she raised her mischievous blue eyes and winked at her all too innocent best friend. She lowered her hands to her lap and sat up straighter, smiling calmly.

"Now, Usagi-chan, trust me-no, give me a chance to speak-alright. You love him, don't you?"

The woman in front of her sighed dreamily in defeat. "Yes, I love him," she admitted. She grabbed a hold of her paper napkin and began shredding it apprehensively.

"Well, if you love him, then what's the problem?" asked Minako, raising an elegant sunshine-colored eyebrow.

"I don't know if he loves me!" she blurted out, dropping her forehead to the table with a thunk. "I mean, we've been together for two years, and he's changed a lot since the first time we met, but he just isn't as affectionate as I would like him to be." She bit her lip and rolled her head so that she lay pillowed against the inside of her elbow.

"All the better reason to seduce him!"

Usagi rolled her eyes.

"Okay, okay, I'll get serious," she said, suppressing a giggle. She took a breath and schooled her face. "With all due respect, Usagi-chan, Hiiro is an asshole."

She sighed and slumped sullenly in the plastic booth. "I know he is. And he still carries around his gun like it was stuck to his body," she huffed, nodding irately to herself. "I swear that man gets off on his gun everyday! But just sometimes when we're alone, he can be so sweet. Just those little things, like a touch, or a kiss, or when he holds me." Usagi's voice had taken a trip to lala land and she was staring into space with little hearts in her eyes.

Minako blinked.

"And the way he grunts, it's so sexy. . ."

Minako cleared her throat a little.

". . .And his glare! It gives me the chills, the good ones, even if he did stop using it on me. . ."

"Um…"

"I bet if we did have sex, it'd be like sex in the snow," concluded Usagi, finger poised thoughtfully at her lip. She had completely forgotten she had an audience. "He's so cold, but it'd be really steamy. Hmm, I guess it would sort of make a mess if you had sex in the snow. You would melt it and then it would be all watery!" She made a face in distate. "And we might get stuck since it's so cold and all. I don't want to get stuck! It'd hurt! You remember that time Rei told me to lick the ice on that pole that last time we went skiing? But I might consider it if Hiiro was that pole..." she rambled off out loud. A little too loud.

Minako gave a long suffering sigh and waved her perfectly manicured hand in front of Usagi's face, finally gaining her attention back. "You're SO horny, Usa-chan."

"What! No, I'm not!" she squeaked, turning tomato red again. She suddenly giggled, eyes glazed over.

"Please don't tell me," mumbled the yellow-haired girl who looked a little uncomfortable in her seat. As much as she loved her friend, Usagi's sexual fantasies were just a little too much. "As much as that boyfriend of yours doesn't seem to give a crap about anything, I think he really does love you."

Usagi immediately sobered. "You think so?" she asked softly.

"Yep. I just feel it. I see a white picket fence, two kids, and a cat." She grinned as Usagi's eyes became as large as saucers.

"One boy, one girl? And they both have Hiiro's eyes, right? And the little girl has my hair and I'll dress her up in pretty pink dresses everyday. And I refuse to let my son wear spandex out of the house."

Her eye twitched. "Sure…"

Usagi clasped her hands together and sighed. "It's always been my dream! Now, how to convince him into it?"Minako shrugged, then grinned wickedly. "You can always threaten him.