Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ The Search for Happiness ❯ Anxieties ( Chapter 6 )

At lunch I ate in my room. Dr. Jay came in to check on me and asked if I was okay. I said `yes' and he left. I wanted to be alone, to think. So many questions, and I knew that to gain the answers, I'd have to search for them myself. Those girls that were to be my comrades, why were they recruited? They seemed to be ordinary, teenage girls so why bring them into fighting this war? I mean, no offense to them or anything, but they stand out like a sore thumb when around me and the Gundam Pilots.

Dr. J at times can be very unpredictable. I don't think I'll ever understand what goes on in that head of his. His judgement on choosing the pilots were on the mark, but the rest of the girls? The Dr. J I know is so logical and thinks strategically, what happened to that? Perhaps...perhaps he was using strategy when selecting them, but for what purpose?

"Oh forget it!" I said exasperatedly. I was reading into this too much. "Just relax and don't worry about it. What will happen will happen."

I went on to the balcony and leaned on the railing and began to sing. Not a particular song, just whatever came from inside me. The way I show everything, I suppose, is through music. It must be from endless days of music playing with Trowa. Going towards the vase that I had filled with roses, I began to water them. They were all fully bloomed, and the scent made me feel at ease. I went back to the railing, looked down, and saw the pilots were looking back at me. Evidently they heard my singing. Their expressions were completely different from what I'm used to. They almost looked nostalgic. I went back inside and put some roses in a smaller vase and set them on my bureau.

It would be 3:00 in ten minutes so I headed towards the launch pad. The pilots were getting ready to depart from some air carriers. Trowa saw me standing by and he came over.

"Hey, you made it," he said.

"Of course I did. Didn't think I'd let you go without saying good-bye?"

"Good-bye means forever. This is just `see you later'. By the way, nice song."

"Thank you." We stood there for a while in silence.

"Rei, I want to apologize for hitting you."

"Don't apologize. I deserved it for treating you like that."

Heero came over and said, "Sorry to break up your conversation, but we've got to go."

"Good luck on your mission, Heero," I said.

"I don't need your luck," he said as he walked off.

"Amazing that just a moment ago he looked so serene."

"That so?" Trowa asked.

"Well, yeah. I mean all of you did when I saw you looking up at me on the balcony. It was like you were different people." I sighed and then looked at the ground. "Well, I hope you'll come back safely."

"Oh, so you do care."

"Of course I do. You're my best friend."

He lifted my chin, smiled and said, "I know. Anyhow, just want to tell you something. You can change your name and personality, but to me you'll always be Catrina." He then turned and left.

I huffed and stood hands on hips. There he goes being stubborn again. Smiling I thought that no matter what he'd never change. I didn't mind, to me, he would always be Nanashi. Watching them all go, I couldn't wait until it was my turn to go into battle. Then, behind me, I heard a giggle. I turned around and saw it was Usagi.

"So," she said, "is that your boyfriend?"

"No. Just a friend."

"Uh-huh. Sure, whatever."

"What do you want?"

"No need to get so snappy, Rei. Dr. J wants you over in the training room."

"I'm on my way. By the way, don't call me Rei. To you it's Rei-san." She looked at me indignantly, but I walked past her and into the training room. "What's up Doc?"

"I've just finished an experiment that I've been using to help the girls with their training."

"Really? What is it?"

"You may not like this, but it has worked so well that the girls have already finished their training. They're almost as good as you are. You're not mad?"

"Of course not. This means we'll be going to battle soon. When will you give me my mission?"

"When the boys return. Then I will give all of you your mission."

"Sorry, I prefer to work alone," I said and walked out.

"A mission as important as this requires your comrades to accompany you."

"You saying that I'm incapable of completing it on my own?"

"Exactly," he said adjusting his weight on his cane. I scoffed, but he continued, "You may not want to hear that, but it's true. You haven't been in the field once so therefore-"

"So therefore I need a chaperone," I said rolling my eyes. "Well if that's the situation I'd better do everything that I need to do today. Wouldn't want to miss my bed-time now would I?" Dr. J frowned at my sarcastic remark but said nothing as I left the room.

"That girl is a lost case. She's just like the pilots," the doctor said as he sighed.

"What is with her?" Minako asked.

"Yeah, she spends all her time either alone, or with the pilots," said Makoto.

"That girl is trying so hard to complete her mission without any distractions," said Dr. J.

"What is her distraction?" asked Ami.

"I know!" exclaimed Usagi. "It's that one guy Trowa. I saw them talking before the pilots left. I think Trowa's got a thing for Rei, but she didn't seem to be too interested."

"Rei-san isn't letting her feelings interfere with her goals. I think she's afraid to follow what her hear tells her." said Dr. J.

"Why must she be afraid?" asked Minako.

"I suppose that she feels that if she lets her weaknesses show, something might happen with her mission and she'll blame herself for being foolish."

"I think she's foolish now if that's what she's doing," said Usagi.

"Now don't go and play matchmaker again, Usagi," said Ami.

"Yes, just leave her alone," said Dr. J.

As I was walking to my room I could hear their entire conversation through my ESP. How would Dr. J know how I feel? The only true thing that he said was that I won't let anything interfere with my mission. The only feelings I have for Trowa are only as friends. However, when I'm around him I feel, different. He talks to me with concern and respect. Like a true friend; perhaps more. I got in my room and lied down on my bed. Maybe I do have feelings for him. "Nah," I answered out loud. I sat up and wondered about my first mission. I know I'll fulfill my purpose for serving the colonies.

"Hurry up and come back you guys," I said. "It's my turn to do some damage to OZ."

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~*~Lady Pheonix~*~