Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Amour ❯ Midnight Visitor ( Chapter 2 )

 

 

Amour

 

Chapter 2

 

By Zapenstap

 

 

After a spending a night together under the influence of alcohol, Relena didn't see or hear of Heero for weeks, but she thought about him more in those days than she had in a year or longer.

 

Her thoughts were mostly bemused, remembering the tenacity with which her quiet, lurking partner accepted her invitation and took her to bed without preamble or regret. Heero's lovemaking had satiated an unfulfilled physical need Relena had been carrying for months, and stripped of all her emotional expectations, the experience had even been surprisingly fun, though her memories of the finer details were fuzzy. Still, she wondered why he had pursued it when in the past he had always been so elusive in making any kind of contact with her. She supposed it was because after time, and after experiencing the reality of failed dreams and failed relationships not exclusive to their own, they had both become adults, able to recognize what they needed as well as what they could expect without inextricably linking the two. It was, after all, mostly a physical need they had both sought to fulfill, and a physical satisfaction they had both received.

 

All in all, she accepted the events of the evening as an agreeable, if somewhat guilty deviation from her usual routine, and when it was over returned to her routine without looking back.

 

For Heero, the experience was a bit more bewitching. His lack of social connections made those he had glow like beacons in a night, and though he didn't love Relena, he did have a connection with her, and the pleasure he found in sharing her bed and being allowed to leave it without remorse or apology was more than a physical satisfaction. After his first confused and half-hearted relationship with Relena ended years ago, Heero had met some of his physical needs with other partners now and then, but his need for secrecy and anonymity in relation to his work and the habit of his past drove out any hope of an emotional connection, and he gradually found the physical act of sex by itself unfulfilling enough that he had for quite a long time ceased engaging in it.

 

What he had shared with Relena the night of her birthday was unplanned and unprecedented, but though it was not an act of love, it had satisfied something in him that none of his other encounters had, something that thirsted for more satisfaction. Relena knew him, and cared for him, and that combined with the chemistry of their physical connection and her willingness to leave ideas of forever out of the equation was exactly what Heero desired. He didn't want to be tied down, and he didn't want to distract Relena from her important work, but sharing something together that they both wanted and needed without expecting more was not an unpleasant idea. After her birthday, he had had to leave town for a few weeks to work on an assignment he had tracked through the ESUN Department of Global Defense, but as time went by he found himself wondering if perhaps—on his return—he wouldn't be able to persuade Relena to repeat the experience again, this time sober and with an agenda to please her enough that she might consider more incidents of the same kind in the future.

 

Of course, it depended entirely on her honesty that she did not desire to keep him or expect him to offer her any emotional support other than respect and care for her person. Above all he didn't want to hurt her, and considered his presence in her life transitory, momentarily convenient and supportive of her work, but secondary to her true wishes. If she was at all disagreeable to the idea, or if someone else came along who could fulfill her ultimate desire for a family and a future, Heero would take his leave without regrets.

 

There was no prospect of such a person in Relena's life at the moment. She was too busy with her career to give the men who worked in her office or those she met other places more than a passing glance. During the mornings she sat for long hours in an endless cycle of meetings, and in the afternoons strode up and down the hallways of businesses, law firms, public buildings, manufacturing plants and universities in a pantsuit or in skirt and heels with a clipboard in her hand and sometimes a tech set connecting her to additional conversations. More often than not she was the hub of whatever changes were taking place where her presence was solicited, and sometimes she wished to trade her clipboard in for a stick when her pen was not enough to motivate what needed to be done. In the evenings she alternated between late nights at the office and a parade of political gatherings, galas, conventions and soirées that were so important to maintaining connections and keeping on the crest of innovation and public approval. She regularly slept five hours a night or less, with little or no time for naps, and her days off were scattered wherever she could fit them in (she was lucky to get two or three a month). It was a back-breaking pace she hoped to keep up until several important projects were finally launched in the summer, or next year, and then, someday, think about establishing a personal life.

 

It was an early afternoon on a Tuesday, just before a lunch she wouldn't have time to eat, that Relena found herself finally finishing up in a white-walled room with a board of top executives who had only slowly come around to accept and discuss implementation of the legal obligations required of them by the government. It was a relief to the numb feeling in her thighs when everyone rose with polite handshakes and smiles, and Relena was at last shown out into the hall and directed in the direction of the ladies room.

 

The bathroom was a private place of solace in a building filled primarily with middle-aged men, and she just stood for a moment in front of the counters and mirror assessing her stress level, splashing cool water on her neck under her hair and reminding herself that she was at least halfway through the day. After she had adjusted her knee-length scarlet skirt and scrubbed a small coffee stain from the lace ruffle of her white blouse, she stepped into the hallway with the intention of heading directly to the lobby where her driver would be waiting to take her back to the office and the mountain of other things she had yet to do. With her mind completely absorbed in the business of her work, it caught her by surprise to see Heero standing at the end of the corridor.

 

At first she was startled, and had difficulty not showing it, especially considering the circumstances when she had last seen him. Even now she couldn't help noticing that he was well-built, lean but muscled in a way that tickled her fancy even when his body was hidden by dark slacks and a white, button-down shirt. She noticed his apparel in particular because of the handle of a gun that peeped out of the inside of his jacket as he leaned back against a railing lining one side of the hall and spread his arms to either side for balance.

 

His expression was a mystery, particularly his eyes, but he seemed to like the dark cheery red color of her skirt by the way his attention lingered there.

 

“It's a good color on you,” he said when he noticed her evaluation of his stare.

 

They met each other's eyes and Relena experienced a sudden rush of memory, a vision of Heero's eyes close to her face, sweat on his brow, watching her expression as they... She blushed a little, clearing her throat and wondering if Heero could see the heat in her cheeks. To divert his attention as well as her own, she glanced at his gun.

 

“Did you just get back from a mission?” she asked.

 

“Yeah.” The blankness of his tone and the single-mindedness of his attention were infuriating. He didn't avert his eyes from her face and didn't seem at all surprised by the candor of her question.

 

She didn't bother to ask him what he had been doing. She knew he wouldn't tell her and asking would only spoil the trust they had established after the events of the other night. It was ironic in some ways: Heero guarded his privacy closer than his own life; Relena's private life was the subject of public inquiry, and yet when they sought the society of the other, they managed a respectful balance. Whether during a platonic encounter in the open hallway of a corporate building or a sexual exploration of one another's bodies in Relena's bedroom, they knew each other's boundaries and how to protect the other's space.

 

They both subsided into silence, Heero watching Relena with his thoughts veiled behind a wall of mystery and Relena trying to hide her thoughts by looking away.

 

“Have you been thinking at all about the other night?” Heero asked suddenly.

 

She blinked and turned her attention back on his face. She was startled that he would bring it up, but of course there was little else that could possibly bring him here before her in this way. He had to have come specifically to see her.

 

“Yes,” she replied with caution. “Is there anything the matter?”

 

“Do you have any regrets?”

 

Again it seemed strange. She had been sure that she had been perfectly clear about what Heero meant and did not mean to her when he left her that morning, and nothing had changed since then. Was it possible that he was having regrets?

 

“No,” she said. “Do you?”

 

He hesitated, looking at her with eyes that seemed to prick her skin with a glance.

 

“I want to come over again,” he said. “Tonight if you're not busy, but only if you have no regrets or reservations.”

 

She was shocked into speechlessness. For several moments she just stared at him, never having considered that he would ask something like that just because she had initiated it the first time. She really hadn't thought that it would be more than a one time thing, not in the way she thought she knew Heero. Still, it had been worth it once. “If you want to,” she began hesitantly.

 

Heero pressed his advantage, stepping away from the wall and covering the distance between them in one single stride. She started a little, flustered by his proximity, and then became frozen when his fingers gently encircled her wrist. He positioned himself so that he framed her body from the side, speaking directly into her ear in a normal, but somewhat pressing tone of voice. “It was pleasant. I know you're not seeing anyone right now and you know I won't talk about it and make a mess of things.” Her eyes widened, but she understood him: sometimes he needed this, they both did, and they could trust each other to be discrete. “It's different with you, Relena. It was good. If you want, I think it can be better.”

 

The suggestion was so bluntly proposed that she felt her breath hitch in her throat, a chill spreading through her body and shaking her muscles loose. “I'll be working late,” she said.

 

He leaned forward, his lips close enough to her ear that the anticipation clenched something in her middle. “I can come over late.”

 

She closed her eyes, luxuriating in the feeling of Heero's body beside hers, in the tantalizing sensation of his breath near her ear. ““Okay,” she said faintly. “What time?”

 

“Late.”

 

Heero withdrew from her side and before she knew it he was walking away down the corridor with his back straight and his arms loose at his sides. He didn't look back.

 

By the time a stunned and bewildered Relena returned to the office, her thoughts were forced to focus elsewhere. Despite her obvious interest in a rendezvous with Heero Yuy, she didn't have time to spare for thinking about it. As she had feared, the work to be done was monstrous and she was too busy talking, walking, planning, and making polite but firm demands to allow herself the chance to think about what would happen later or how she had even maneuvered herself into such a situation. She made three trips to three different locations off site, and didn't return until passed dinnertime to the office to arrange her paperwork, write her daily log and prepare for the presentation she was to give the next day.

 

It wasn't until almost ten o'clock that she finally headed home, tired and stiff, and only in the backseat of her limo did she finally allow herself to think about Heero and anticipate an evening with him in her bed. The first thing she did when she walked in her front door was check in with her live-in house staff about the proceeding for the day and her prospects for tomorrow. The Darilan manor house was never unoccupied. In addition to her driver she had housekeepers, a book clerk, a live-in cook, and security guards, all of whom were dear to her. After smiles and words of appreciation, she announced that she was going to bed. She didn't tell anyone, not even her security guards, that Heero was expected. She didn't think they would care, even for the purpose for which he was expected, but for the time being she preferred to keep it private, and she didn't think her two-man door and grounds security would be an obstacle for Heero Yuy.

 

Once in her bedroom she kicked off her shoes and checked her face in the mirror before flipping off the lights and turning down the bed, amazed at how alive and invigorated she felt even after such a long day. All of her nerves tingled with the anticipation of being with Heero again as she had been on her birthday, and the more she thought about it the more absorbed she became in a fantasy that grew bolder and more delicious by the minute. The last time she had been drinking and her memories of things were splotchy in places. This time she meant to have a memory that would last.

 

It was almost eleven when she heard a tiny ping on her windowpane, the soft sound of a pebble hitting the outside of the glass.

 

Crossing the room, she pulled aside the curtains, pushed open one of the large, outward swinging windows, and leaned her head over the sill to look down at the lawn.

 

“Isn't that a little boyish?” she called down with a smile.

 

Heero stood twenty feet below, looking straight up at her from the ground, standing in the shadows with his foot next to the brick wall that rose up to her room, a wall that was covered in rose vines. In the darkness, the only part of him she could make out clearly was his eyes flashing dark blue and dangerous in the night.

 

Relena leaned further out the window, her hair trailing past her face as she smiled. “There's a front door out by the street and a back door around the other side of the house. Do you want me to come let you in?”

 

“No,” he said, just barely loud enough so that she could hear him. “I don't want anyone to know I was here.”

 

She blinked.

 

His gaze traveled up the wall leading to her window, a story above the ground, noting the wooden fencing and roses covering the brick and the painted pipe ran that ran up along one side the window. Relena eyes widened anyway when she caught drift of his intention. “I'm coming up,” he said.

 

Before she could call out to stop him he had leaped onto the latticework and began to scale her wall as easily as if he were climbing the stairs. She stepped backward hastily, making room for him as his hands caught onto the window ledge and his muscles strained to pull his body high enough to where he could swing one leg over the window sill. Within a minute, he was inside the room, falling lightly to the ground and turning to shut the windows behind him. He opened the curtains, and moonlight poured in from the evening the sky into her room, casting silvery puddles on her floor and across her bed.

 

Relena couldn't breathe. Heero was beautiful in the silver-blue light of the moon, and he walked with a grace that was both fluid and dangerous. Without speaking he approached her, and from the back of his pants withdrew a handgun.

 

She gasped.

 

He tossed it on the bed and reached for her, the hand that had flung the gun away grabbing her by the wrist, his other hand wrapping around her lower back as he stepped in close to her body. “It's not loaded,” he whispered, and she lost all concern for the gun as he pulled her closer to him, their bodies meeting at the hips.

 

His hands dropped to where the hem of her skirt ended and lifted the material a little higher, exposing her thighs to his touch. His hands caressed her skin, teasing her by occasionally circling up close to her crotch without ever quite getting there. She leaned her head on his shoulder as he continued to crunch and gather up the material of her clothes in his hands, and gingerly leaned in to run her lips against his neck and blow softly on his skin.

 

When she did that, he hiked her skirt up around her waist and took a step closer to her, wedging his thigh between her legs and pulling her torso close to his chest, adjusting her position with his hands on her rear. His leg rubbed at her crotch, and she held onto his shoulders to support herself. As she started to breathe more heavily, she felt his hands tangle in her hair.

 

Heero was enjoying the sound her quickened breathing. The sight of her creamy white legs exposed with her skirt bunched up around her waist was visually enticing while the feeling her knee brushing up occasionally against his growing hard-on was almost more than he could bear. When her hands dipped to his pants and began to unbutton them, he murmured her name to stop her. When she didn't stop he grabbed her arms, crossing and trapping them over her chest with one arm in a hold usually reserved for subduing an adversary and turning her around so that his aggressive, slightly domineering grip on her was close enough that he could feel every inch of her along the front of his body.

 

She quieted in his arms, struggling only enough to test the security of her imprisonment. He leaned forward, parting her hair with his free hand to run his fingers along her neck and shoulders. “Have you had this fantasy before, Relena?” she whispered just behind her ear.

 

She didn't respond with words, but he could feel her trembling. He rubbed his hips against her ass, covered only by thin silk underwear, simulating a rhythm that would get her thinking and stimulating his arousal through his pants. With his free hand he began to undo the buttons of her blouse from behind, popping them out of their constraints one after the other until he had to loosen his hold on her a little to free her from her clothes. Her breasts fell into his hands as she leaned forward, her back end pushing against him as he molded her breasts and lowered his lips to the back of her neck. She gasped and his arousal responded, straining against its confinement, but he wasn't ready to satisfy himself yet. He lowered a hand and slipped a few of his fingers into her underwear, seeking the warmth of her opening, pleased to find her slick and prepared for easy entrance. He inserted two fingers, curling them around her pelvic bone and thrusting his hand down and around to achieve some depth. Again, she gasped, her hips gyrating against his hand, leaning over on the support of his arm so that her hair fell over her shoulder and streamed down on either side of her face.

 

Withdrawing his hand, he quickly shed her of her blouse and then unbuttoned her skirt, dropping it down her ankles until her skin pebbled in the sudden cold and the nipples on her breasts hardened and peaked through her bra. That piece of clothing was the next thing to go, easy to remove when he was standing behind her, leaving her garbed only in a pair of thin silk underwear that felt fantastic as his hand slipped under them a second time. His fingers quickly found their place again inside her, and as he explored her walls and massaged her clit, he used his other hand to drop his pants and boxers and maneuver out of his own clothes.

 

Relena was starting to whimper under his ministrations and he knew she would come if he kept it up. Removing his hand from her underwear, he guided her with his body toward the bed. He waited until the front of her knees hit the edge of the mattress box and then stopped, running his fingers over her hips and stomach. She was so obviously aroused in this position that he didn't want to spoil it. “Lean over the bed,” he said quietly, and she did as he requested, positioning herself with her hands and elbows on the mattress and her feet spread slightly apart.

 

Free from its confinements, Heero's arousal bobbed against the underside of her leg. With one hand on her back to hold her steady, he used the other to pull down her underwear and guide his length between her legs. She was already wet and waiting to be penetrated, her body shivering under his hands.

 

“Heero,” she whispered, a slight plea sounding in the utterance of his name from her throat.

 

His member twitched and he satisfied them both by aligning the head with her opening and pushing partway in. She moaned, rocking back against him, and he responded by pushing in more, the sight of her gasping for him while he took her from behind too much to wait any longer. The velvety softness of her tunnel felt like nothing else in the world. He applied pressure to her back as he pulled out and pushed in again, thrusting a few times hard and slow, reveling in the feel of sex. “God, Relena,” he gasped, and settled into a quick and steady drive. He needed this.

 

Relena had been left waiting and wanting for too long while Heero teased and undressed her. Leaning over the bed she could do nothing except think about the force of Heero's member plunging in and pulling out of her. The work he had done with his hands and body had already aroused and stimulated her to the point where titillation had evolved to something stronger and deeper, more like a swelling of pleasure that began to undulate like waves in time with Heero's thrusting. At first she only panted, but as he continued she began to moan as the waves peaked and gasp when they dived. Pretty soon she was crying softly, her voice straining for the release her body craved.

 

Heero moaned behind her, his breathing laborious as he repeatedly slid in and out of her. His hands held onto her hips at first, and then moved up to cup her breasts from underneath, molding them in his palms as he pounded into her from behind. She could hear his ragged breathing in her ear, and looked over her shoulder to catch a glimpse of his face, intoxicated by the ferocity in his features, agonizing pleasure mingling with a deep-seated desire for both the physical release and the closeness of their union.

 

Relena's body shuddered under the ardent assault. She clutched the sheets with her hands and slammed back into Heero with her hips. Releasing her breasts, he grabbed her hips again to hold her still so he could thrust into her more succinctly. She gave herself up to his control, her knees weakening as a mounting wave of pleasure rose rising to a plateau that rocked through her body and blinded her to everything except the sensation. Heero murmured her name, perhaps in pleasure and perhaps in encouragement, sensing her sudden climb from which there was no going back. A moment late, a slight shift in his penetration brought her to a sudden peak. She cried out, her orgasm exploding, her muscles clenching and releasing in a spasm that drew itself out for several long moments.

 

Heero stopped his movements as her arms weakened and she fell heavily on the bed. He was still inside her, throbbing with need, desperate to keep moving.

 

“We're not done yet,” he informed her.

 

He managed to stimulate himself merely by thinking what he wanted to do to her next while she caught her breath. It took her a moment to comprehend that her satisfaction was only partial and his incomplete, a moment to gather her energy and rally to his desire.

 

“Lay back,” he said when her breathing steadied, pulling out of her and climbing up on the bed. Relena's eyes lingered on his arousal, still red, hard and stiff, standing proud and ready for reentry, and she lay back on the bed with her head near where Heero had tossed his gun.

 

Heero caressed her hips with his hands, running his fingers down her stomach and up her thighs until he parted her knees. He lowered his body between her legs, inching up slowly until he was positioned with the head of his arousal poised at her opening, the head alone slipping just past her lips. Leaning over her body, he kissed her neck and then her breasts, running his lips and hands over her skin until she made a sound in her throat, signaling a want or at least an okay for him to continue. He pushed himself inside her slowly to be sure of the fit, but quickly continued to where he left off once he was in, his rhythm deep and hard and smoother in this position, his arousal climbing swiftly to where it had been before she had come. His eyes focused on her face, his arms supporting his frame above her chest as he sought to renew her lust and please her again.

 

“Oh,” Relena said, her eyes fluttering with surprise as her body responded with pleasure. Heero growled, bucking his hips as her hands wrapped around his back, holding onto him the best she could, his movements growing too fierce and wild for her to clutch him too tightly. “Heero, keep going. I might come again!”

 

Heero's blood pumped faster than he could pump his hips into Relena and sweat began to break out of his pores as he combustive heat overtook him. He saw with satisfaction that Relena was beginning to perspire as well, her skin glistening with beaded sweat and heat radiating from her body. Their lovemaking was making the space between them into a furnace. Her hands slipped on his back as she fought to keep in time with him. It was exquisite. Every nerve on his body vibrated with pleasure. He could feel his orgasm building from deep in his body and held on only by gritting his teeth and changing the rhythm of his thrusts to press up and rub back against the sensitive nub just above her opening. Her pants became cries, a sweet sound broken and smothered by the hammering movements of their bodies and the rising pleasure that drowned out her voice.

 

He knew Relena was going to come again when her back arched, her knees squeezed his hips and her arms wrapped around his neck. He knew he was going to come when he felt her muscles constrict around his member and heard her release a long, shuddering series of moans and whimpering cries.

 

“Oh fuck,” he gasped and gritted his teeth as he came, his body releasing the pressure that had been building up in his loins in a jerking spasm that seemed to last for minutes. A shudder passed through him, spreading from his arousal inside her and rippling across the surface of his entire body.

 

He collapsed over her chest, but the sweat of their bodies making each other's arms an uncomfortable place to rest, and he rose to his knees to find fresher air, breathing deeply as the perspiration cooled and dried on his skin.

 

Relena remained where she was, staring at the ceiling with a hand on her stomach, swallowing occasionally and breathing hard. After a few moments, she turned to look at him. “Heero, that was incredible. I'm not sure I've ever felt like this before.”

 

He really hadn't expected it to be quite that good, and hung his head to catch both his breath and his thoughts. He was tired, but energized as well. After a moment, he rolled onto his back beside her, staring up at the ceiling as she had done earlier.

 

“Yeah,” he said, belatedly returning the sentiment, and finally turned his head to look at her. Her face glowed with the evidence of her exertion, and he took deep breaths of his own, reveling in the pleasantness of the moment, but knowing it couldn't last forever. After a minute of silence, he rolled onto his side and looked her in the eyes. “I'm not going to stay the night this time,” he informed her soberly.

 

She didn't blink or frown or anything, merely looking at him as if he were exactly what she expected. “I see.” There was no judgment or disappointment in her tone. If anything she seemed satisfied, smiling as she closed her eyes and sunk deeper into her pillows. “I have to wonder why you wanted to come back, though,” she said. “It's my turn to ask. What is it we're doing?”

 

“What do you think about it?” he asked slowly.

 

“It's been wonderful. I'm happy,” she said simply, “for now anyway.”

 

He nodded. “I wouldn't be opposed to another turn,” he said, “so long as you're happy, and as long as you know I won't stay or be with you forever.”

 

“I know,” she said. “I appreciate your honesty. Are you saying you want us to be lovers?”

 

“It's not love.”

 

“I know,” she repeated, and sat up, wrapping her arms loosely around her knees. “That's not how I meant it, but it is a kind of love affair if we make a habit of it.” She sighed heavily. “Heero, I can't promise I won't develop feelings for you again if this continues, but I do know you and I understand what you're asking. If this is going to happen again, we need to set limitations, and be clear about expectations. What is it you want?”

 

“I don't want you to be hurt,” he said, “but I enjoy this and I'd like to continue it if you're willing. I have needs, Relena. They were unexpected but I have them, and you meet them better than anyone. I know things can get complicated with us, but I care about you and I know you care about me. I don't know how I'm going to feel about this either, but even if the feelings I have for you grow stronger, I won't be able to keep any kind of promise to you. I won't be able to stay around.”

 

“So you plan to be in and out then,” she said. It wasn't a question, and it didn't seem to phase or surprise her. “In that case, let me be clear about what I want. I enjoy this too, and I do care about you and it pleases me to meet each other's needs when there's no one else and we both happen to be available, but I can't promise I will be available anymore than you can promise to be around. I have a lot of work to do and that has to come first. I'm also not going to put my love life on hold if you're not going to be a permanent aspect of it. I'm going to be looking for someone else, Heero, even when you're around, and if I ever do have someone else in my life I expect you to stay away.”

 

“That's fair,” was all he had to say. That was what he wanted too. For him and the life he had chosen, it was how it had to be.

 

“So we're not bound to each other physically,” she said, “anymore than we are emotionally. No jealousy.” She thought on that for a moment and then shook her head. “Better not to discuss it if there's anyone else in your life,” she amended. “I can't promise not to feel jealous if I think that the arrangement we have is because I'm special to you.”

 

“You are special,” he said, “but I understand what you mean.”

 

“And if at any time either of us is unhappy,” she continued, “or wants more than the other is willing to give, then it's over.”

 

He agreed to that too. It almost went without saying.

 

“And we have to keep quiet about it,” she added. “I'm sure people will find out, but officially it has to be a secret. Even if the whole world knows, publicly we must maintain that it's a rumor.”

 

“Do you really worry that I would do anything else?” he asked her.

 

She turned to him with a smile. “No, but I had to say it anyway.”

 

Gently, he lifted her elbow off the sheets and pulled her close to him. His lips touched her forehead, affectionately sealing her to his heart as someone who was indeed special, even if he didn't think he had it in him to love her or be with her forever the way she needed and deserved to be loved. They sat together on the bed for a little while longer, silently enjoying the glow of the other's presence after lovemaking and pondering the prospects of having a future in each other's arms…from time to time.

 

At length, Heero rose from the bed and dressed again as he had before. When he had everything, including the gun that he had unloaded before entering onto Relena's property but which he never left home without, he turned back to the window through which he had entered.

 

“Are you sure you don't want to use the door?” she asked.

 

He hesitated and then shook his head. “Maybe next time.”

 

“Take care of yourself,” she said, and he nodded as he climbed out the window and vanished into the night.

 

For awhile longer Relena leaned back against the headboard and thought about what she had agreed to. It brought a feeling of excitement to her breast, a reason to expect the unexpected, but also a worried tremor to her stomach that maybe she was buying more than she could afford, and that the consequences could not be foreseen. At the moment, she didn't have any particular emotional attachment to Heero, certainly not like she once had in her past, but she could again if she allowed herself, if she let herself for a moment think that maybe Heero really could change. Fortunately, she had been scorched severely enough that she really didn't believe that anymore. She just had to mire all of her movements and motives around the hard, single truth that Heero was not for keeps.

 

With this finalizing thought, she rose to take a shower before bed, pleased by the arrangement given the terms and satisfied that she had spent even an hour in Heero Yuy's arms, even just for the physical satisfaction. Someday she would find somebody else who could truly make her happy, but for now there was the prospect of a secret love affair, a love affair with a man who cared about her and understood her, whose lovemaking fulfilled her desires and relieved her stress, a man she could count on and expect to be exactly as he had proposed… And that wasn't a terrible thing.

 

 

TBC (sometime)

 

 

Author's Note: (Possible spoilers for this story. Lol)

 

After reading some reviews, I decided to edit this for little mistakes and explain where this story is going, hopefully without giving it away.

 

I'm a little worried that my most recently completed story, Desires of the Heart, has some people worried that these fics of mine that lean toward a more “realistic” relationship are going to be horrifically disappointing. I would like to say to my deeply beloved 1xR fandom that I am and always will be a 1xR Forever Shipper. I have been writing this pairing for SEVEN years. And I still haven't entirely figured out how this couple would work out if the series were to actually continue. Ever since I began writing this pairing a part of me has believed that Heero's instinct and determination all along has been to walk away from Relena. This is, more of less, what he actually does in the series, and in Endless Waltz, AND in all the little mangas that tell the possible story of what happens between the series and the movie. His reasons vary from silence to Relena being busy with peace and his being a distraction to that, to being uncomfortable with the idea of hanging out anyone for long, to having his own self to sort out first, to not really caring about her that way, to not thinking he's the right person for her, etc. However, I also think that fate or circumstance or need for her (or someone) continually draws Heero close to Relena again, whether she knows it or not, and that Heero himself is very unsure of his feelings or the future.

 

This fic is based around this idea. However, the pairing never seemed to have much hope of blossoming when Relena's feelings for Heero were so strong that she could potentially frighten him away by putting too much pressure on him to do something he doesn't know how to do. Therefore, in this fic, as inspired by Desires of the Heart, Relena no longer has those kinds of pressurizing feelings and attachment to Heero, which results from their having tried a relationship and having that relationship fail. I think this is what will give them a chance in this particular story.

 

We're starting at the bottom of the barrel so the only way to go is up. Hope that comforts you!