Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Anathema ❯ Hands Against Stone ( Chapter 5 )

BLAH. Im in a rancid mood. My original conclusion was deleted by the STUPID computer!!!!!!!! And being the dummy that I am I didn't have a backup! ::goes into a relentless fit of rage, biting the sofa and hurling dishes at the wall:: So I had to make do at the last minute. Pumped on Vanilla Coke TM, CO, Whatever, It is the best soda in the world. BELIEVE me.

NOTES: not that long. Last installment...::sniff sniff:: And I know that the last installment was f*cking confusing, no wonder I didn't get N-E reviews, O well. I also edited the very first part, the formatting that is, nothing else; I'm quite complacent with the idiocracies of my mind.

DISCLAIMER: Nothing is mine except the doctor.

PAIRINGS: 1x5, 1x2/2x1 mentioned, 3x4 mentioned, 2+H

WARNINGS: YAOI, Sap, OOC kinda, this segment is inspired by a novel, betcha can't guess which one. And angst.

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Hands Against Stone

By LunaSeraph

Edited by WackieOop

"You can stand inside my mind and never find your way out. It's like a labyrinth of despair I tell you."

"Hm, that sounds a lot like self pity to me. You told me once that that was not looked upon very well in your collective."

Wufei scowled and bit back what caustic remarks he had prepared for the witty little doctor sitting six feet away from him.

"I need Heero."

"He's home. He's fine."

"He didn't seem fine when I left him."

"Well, things are what you see them as."

"O...k."

`````````

Wufei crossed his arms and prepared himself for the spell that was clouding its way into his vision. Every limb seeked refuge from the inevitable tempest of mockery and punishment. Heero had seen the calm before the storm and dreamt his own way into madness. For Duo and Hilde were to marry and Heero was to be left with the curse that was Wufei.

The China boy smiled bitterly at his own deductions. Awaiting his android, he sat in front of the clinic, hoping to see the blackness of death before the headlights of his lover's car.

`````

"If we go to the wedding all you'll do is complain about the unnatural place" Heero held his lover's hand as they walked through their naturally forested backyard.

"Well, why does Duo have to have his wedding there?"

"You really want me to go don't you?"

"Well, you are the best man. it would be rude to avoid the duty you were asked to peform." Wufei answered. Heero frowned and turned to the lake, it seemed most of their days were spent revolving around that mass body of water. Heero always looked to it and was reminded of that nauseating dream he had. Envisioning Wufei dying was not a normal thing to do. Especially if he loved him.

"We'll go."

Wufei nodded in approval. He knew of the crushed pride that sat within his Japanese companion. And that was why Heero grew hesitant in anguish to see the first love he ever had, be united with a girl he had barely known. Wufei shook his head to himself for not pitying the ever dying spirit of Heero's pride; it was being pounded by the degrading fact that his replacement was that woman.

``````

This was the moment. The shattering of a fragile ego, the death of an already uneasy spirit. Wufei decided to mingle in this moment, false smiles and happiness would have to do for the time being. But he knew all too well of the overly concealed bitterness and regret that sat up there with the alter.

The day was bright. But the park was puny compared to the wilderness they lived in. Wufei took in every flawless action Heero made, every smile with perfect timing, every inch of words taken in pleasantly. Yet Wufei could see underneath it all, for he had that power. //It is only just that I am as slithery as I am evil\\

He fell back into that roaring tempest of his madness cackling beneath the stony visage he had prepared for the wedding. Every flame of his sickness licked at him in the kingdom of bedlam that he had built for himself. They beckoned to him, provoking the most quietest of whines.

The boy clutched the wooden bench he sat on, grinding his teeth as the storm of insanity pressed him harder and harder. And Heero still stood flawless to the giving away of his first love. The love he should have been with.

//Heero\\

"Duo Maxwell do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

//Are you going to let him go?\\

"I do"

//Will you not stop him Heero? Will you not let your love marry this girl, taking your place?\\

Heero stood still and unflinching to the demonic sentiments inside his housemate. Wufei dug his nails into the white painted bench.

//Then I will\\

"By the power invested in me I pronounce you husband and w-"

"Vermin!" Wufei screeched and clutched his sides. Heero hastened to the boy's side, nodding to the priest to continue.

"uh, wife. You may now kiss the b-"

"VERMIN!"

"Wufei!"

"Fuck! Vermin. Fuck!" He cackled and threw his head back at the rightness of that little word.

"kiss the bride."

Duo dove into his liplock with the woman he loved now. He gazed then at the two struggling souls on the ground. How eerily pleasant they looked. Each of them fighting for something; a battle so hopeless it had the necessary amount of indescribable sadness. Hands against stone, it seemed to have Heero caring for a fading child.

``````

Wufei sighed and watched his lover pace around the lobby. He was angry. It was quite amusing actually, to see the side of Heero's anger, his frustration. The reception had been long since over, they spent the time in the lobby awaiting their cab.

"What's wrong?" Wufei asked lazily, his hands on his lap and his heart inside the wall of his deception.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Are you sure?" Wufei raised an eyebrow allowing Heero's frustration to be prodded. He smirked at how small Heero looked in the grey of his mind. //He looks like a squirrel would atop my Gundam.\\

"Argh. Why did you have to do that?!" Heero growled and clutched desperately at his hair. He was angry. Hoping to make it through the wedding, he was thwarted with Wufei's last attempt at saving the pride no one cared about. It was that moment that produced gasps of wonder and amazement. 'Oh my. so that is the sick one.' 'That is the ex-pilot everyone's saying is crazy' 'Crazy? They're all crazy.'

"Do what?"

"Do that, you ruined everything! Why?"

"You wanted to give him away? Or did you want everyone to know of how you couldn't stand being replaced with her?"

"Wufei!" Heero clenched his fists and groped at his hair some more. Wufei shook his head and laughed bitterly at his boyfriend.

"What? You want me to shut up? Why? Its true isn't it? that you gave him away and was left with me?"

"Shut up right now!" Heero said sternly pushing Wufei back down onto the chair. Wufei scowled at the grey that began to disintergrate. He was returning to the world now and found Heero did not look so small anymore. He was much angrier and much more formidable. Yet he couldn't let this android shut him up so quickly.

"Hit me."

"Nani?" Heero frowned letting go of his hair. Wufei stood up once more and glared at him venomously.

"Go on hit me!" He screeched and threw himself at the Japanese boy.

"Wufei! Stop it." Heero gritted half in pain as Wufei dug his nails into his arm. They wrestled angrily until the perfect soldier took control and pinned the crazed youth unceremoniously against the wall, which provoked the child to thrash more fiercely. He screamed in frustration.

"There you have it! Duo is with her now and all you're left with is me? You've seen how decrepit I can be and you have forgotten everything I have left behind! You told me to let go of everything! Well I did, and this is what you're left with! Don't blame the delivery of everything." Wufei spat at Heero. "You are angry. I know that. That is why you're crippled pride is crumbling completely in my hands. You have seen my evilness. But you deny it, just like you deny hating me."

Smack! Wufei landed roughly on his bottom. He cursed inwardly as Heero remained still, silently glaring at his hand. He figured he deserved it, but Heero could be so paranoid. A meer curse or shout directed towards Wufei would always result in guilt and apology.

Heero fell to his knees looking at the ground. Wufei sighed and stayed in his position not entirely certain of what emotions were running through the ex-pilot he loved.

"I just wanted to make you happy." He said sadly looking at the wall.

"You did. You still do." Wufei admitted with a small smile. Heero laid his head in the Chinese boy's lap sighing at the pleasant feel of doing so.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

Wufei turned to the door where their cab honked. Sighing, he leaned on his lover as they walked out of that reception hall. That whole day found them regretting ever attending the ceremony. It was contaminated with the all pervading reality of shame and gossip. 'He's the crazy one.' 'So why is the other one with him' 'They're both crazy.' 'Sick. Killing makes you sick.' 'Damn Gundam pilots, shameless killers. Cowards!'

`````

Wufei gritted his teeth mercilessly beneath the summer sun. He hastened inside the house, and into the study where he knew Heero was working. It was foreboding, everything he always supressed, everything the doctor warned him never to cover up, it was looming over him like the Gundam he had destroyed, like those teachers and figures of his clan. It was warning him to run, further out into the infinite sea of anti-reality.

"Heero.." The japanese man turned, frowning slightly at his wheezing housemate.

"What is it? Are you ok?"

"You have to sedate me."

"Why?"

"I can feel it. Its going to hit hard. Harder than anytime before. I can't be awake when it hits!"

Heero straightened his mouth and walked to Wufei's nearby bedroom. It was a spell; a wailing session, when reality would prod Wufei's state with its over bearing storms of mockery and nostalgia. But Heero was warned to let Wufei conquer those spells once. The doctor had advised him to allow Wufei time to himself, to discover why the spells vexed him, what did they mean?

He paused in front of the sedate drawer and hesitated. Taking no time to look at Wufei, he locked it and turned around.

"No. Not this time. If its going to hit let it hit. I can't let you hide from yourself any longer." The chinese boy's eyes were alive with anger and question.

"What?! You have to sedate me Heero! Stop fucking around!" he screamed shamelessly. Heero slowly shook his head, only to be met with a mad child's fist in his face. Quicker than the knuckles could touch his nose, he took hold of those weedy little arms and pinned them tightly to the sides of Wufei's body.

Carefully, he shoved Wufei onto the bed and strapped him down with some loose bedsheets and scarves he found in a nearby drawer. Wufei thrashed with dignified rage and spat out at his departing lover.

"Where are you going?!"

"I'll be right back."

"Heero! Sedate me you bastard! Heero!" Wufei wailed hopelessly against the amazingly durable restraints his lover had tied around his arms and legs.

`````

It was arriving. That merciless, roaring tempest of his self-mockery. Cringing against the pillow, Wufei could hear that gust of sinister voices moving its way into the room and above him. This spell, this session of his letting go of reality had seen its victim strapped and vulnerable to their punishment.

The once proud warrior, shuddered beneath the infinite wind of ridicule and lies. He growled and pressed himself deeper into the mattress grinding his teeth into what felt like splinters. He tasted the blood he had spilled when biting himself, when hurting himself. Flogging his body upward the reality defiant boy screeched into the summer day, //they come for me in two's! My brandishment of deception is known, and they team up in their punishments!\\

"KISAMA! THEY COME FOR ME IN TWO'S!!" he screamed aloud, letting the world know of his hate for reality. Of the feel to be a solitary soul amidts happiness and life, he despised its bountiful devious laws. They held no true justice. They plagued the very essence of what he once fought for.

Freezing, he could sense his android's presence. The thunderous cloud of ridicule began to make its way into the house, creeping up the stairs in the path Heero had walked up. It left a residue of lies and shame behind it, and it roared splitting the air with its bolts of fear and redemption. No one was safe from his curse now, and he felt the sickness turning inside of him, it pulled at his nerves and burned the tips of his veins.

"THEY COME FOR ME IN TWO's!" He wailed desperately giving in to the tears of frustration birthing themselves in the lower lids of his fearful eyes. And he sensed the ice of his sweat, a nameless ice spreading across him; his leg freed itself. And he took it upon himself to weild the power of that free leg. It left him falling into the pit of his hope. The hope and the maybe that calmed that beatific fire of his virus.

"They all cursed me! What am I some nameless whore falling back to the wrongness of the world!" With this, Wufei threw his head back and snickered, until it grew into an uncouth cackle infesting the room. And the spell led its grisly campaign for three hours prodding Heero's own wavering sanity with questions and curses. //Are you like him? Will you let go of the world you have hated for so long as well? or will you remain as durable as your race's ability to fight?\\

Heero sat still amidst the gruesome cursing and hollering. His heart was heavy with emotion. Always the one difficult with emotions he rested his head in his hands and sat for the whole three hours until the spell had abated and gone. He trembled under the hideous face of his lover's sickness. How profane were that child's thoughts now? How much innocence has been lost throughout the whole episode of deciet and pain in their young years? //I have to be strong for him.\\ Heero sighed in relief as his housemates spell began to disintergrate. //I will be strong for you Wufei. I will let no one make you see the world.\\

Wufei faced the window on the bed. His hands had been free for some time now, yet he was a piece of furniture now. He paid no mind to his android on the laptop, typing away at some report. He was lost to the afterness of his spell, gazing endlessly into that all pervading horizon of his sickness. //I'm so happy.\\ He thought emotionlessly. Even after that violent spell, he found his heart floating to realize someone was with him. He wasn't alone anymore. He had Heero. And for that he was frivolous. But he still had time to grimace at the world.

This was the world he had helped to save. And yet it rejected him much like he had saved it. Hastily, fearfully and full of hope. He knew he was not of the world. he wanted to be absent in the reality that they had wanted him to be a part of. But he was different. always different and that was why they rejected him. That was why Treize let him live, that was why Meilan had hated him. They feld their hearts not wanting to take any part of him. And he was content with that.

Heero eyed his lover's stillness and the hearty nothingness that contaminated their being. He stared so hard, hoping to see that child move or sigh or something? but everytime he turned, Wufei's eyes were on the wall, his body in the same position since the end of the spell.

Finally after nearly an hour of stillness, Heero saw his placid lover sigh and get more comfortable. He closed his eyes to sleep. he would probably sleep for the next day, leaving Heero to recover as well.

Heero walked over to the bed and knelt down, petting the sick boy's head. he sighed in contentedness as Wufei's face softened to the touch.

"I love you Wufei."

`````

The black sedan pressed on through the heavily forested area. It took the roads firmly, hoping to avoid the rain boding to fall. It sprinkled now, but Heero pressed the gas harder hoping to make it to the city before the promised hail storm began.

They sat silently in the car. Heero turned on the radio, sighing as some of their metal favorites roared softly inside the car. Wufei rested his head against the window, indifferent to the music and the itchy unsaid words.

"We were all different you know." Heero said quickly. It could have been inoppurtune, but then again Heero's timing was much too perfect. "We all had burdens to carry through the war. You've finished everything needed to be finished Wufei." It was half attack, however Wufei once said offense was the best form of defense.

"They still teamed up. I had no objection to their punishments." He sat still, hands on his lap eyes on the terrain of his wilderness.

"You still don't understand. If they are gone, if you have completed everything you had to, than why are they still punishing you Wufei? I think its a form of self hatred and that is why we're going to the doctor today. Griping about-"

"Griping?!" Wufei sneered at the driver venomously. Heero shifted in his seat and pressed on the gas petal harder, pressing the car through the hardeing rain.

"Well inwardly. I can't allow you to do it any longer. I know you feel the need to punish yourself. But for what? We were all misplaced. Whether it be physically or spiritually. Duo physically. Quatre spiritually. Trowa physically. You spiritually. You see it-"

"And you?" Wufei interrupted.

"Well," Heero paused. "who am I to determine what I am? Why don't you tell me?"

They remained silent for most of the road trip. Wufei looked to his boyfriend, and his hidden intent.

Wufei turned into himself, recalling how he was spiritually misplaced. He was different in his community. And everybody knew it. Emotions such as his were shunned in that collective of noble leaders and preservationists. They longed to fight, while he felt it something to get over with, like a dentist appointment. And it tormented him throughout the war, peeling everything he wanted to live for off of the colony. It was demolished in an instant, but the voices weren't gone. They followed and mocked him, with Meilan in the lead.

He then turned to Heero wondering why he didn't know anything about the Japanese fighter.

"Both." He finally answered. Heero nodded understandingly and drove foward. "You still don't know who you are do you? You could not find a place to belong, and that is why you're with me."

"Save everything for the doctor." Heero gritted bitterly.

`````

"You speak of your wife so unpleasantly."

"She was a great warrior and spirit. She had my respect. And I had her disdain. That was all we were giving."

"It was a marriage-"

"Arranged. neither she nor I had a say in anything of the matter."

"Did you have any friends?"

"There were few boys."

"So you were isolated."

"Like clan, like member."

The small doctor nodded as if she understood. Wufei scowled. She would never understand.

"What are these punishments you speak of?" She asked while gazing at her notes. Wufei ground his teeth.

"It is only just that I be chastised for my hideousness. They knew it all too well."

"Who Wufei?"

"People. Teachers. Classmates. Servants. They could all sense my curse boiling over."

"Why do you feel you're cursed? Because you felt differently about fighting? you always felt it to be a painful chore. And you kind of feared did you not? That is why you classify yourself as 'not the same.' Because you were not like them you felt like a stranger, like you were not supposed to be there."

Wufe cursed as a fat rope of fear coiled itself around his neck.

"They had every right to jeer at my cowardice."

"are you saying you wished to fight, but were afraid to?"

"I did not say anything of the sort."

"Or was it Meilan?" The rope tightened.

"..."

"Did you feel the need to prove something to her? even after her death? or to the colony? Or was it yourself? You loathed yourself, and did you fight for yourself?"

"Of course I did! Woman, don't you see I was not of the same substance! I had no place there! And they knew it! I was hated and a coward. I was weak. I still am."

"You lie."

"Huh?"

"Paranoia kills. They were depending on you during the war."

"I was pitied during the war."

"Why?"

"Because they knew I was going to die."

"But you didn't."

"Exactly, the slithery creature I am, I managed to survive. I was not supposed to. I keep dodging death, surviving like a rat." He began to sob, not cry just sob.

She glared at him piteously, but held back sympathy, for that would ruin the whole session. Her eyes lowered to her notebook, afraid to touch on any subject. For it was certain it would prod a spell. The german doctor ran her fingers through the flame of her gray and black hair. But as she let Wufei finish his inner theatre, she recalled the monotone he had used until she began touching on the Meilan subject.

"We will continue Wufei. until then I just hope you can learn how to cry correctly again."

`````

"Heero. I feel Wufei has improved very well physically. There has been no seizures in almost a year now and I can see a future ahead of you too." She smiled warmly at the stoic youth seated in the office and stirred her iced tea. "However, mentally I have come across some things that cannot be left to sit and boil. he will have to stay here for the week I'm afraid."

"In there?" Heero asked, wavering. He pointed to the grey ugly building that resided next to the clinic. It was the ward, the place that homed all the neglected rebels of society. Wufei admired that place, for they despised reality as well.

"No. Of course not. There are some rooms in this building he can stay. He will be given special treatment. I do think this week will be promising. Now, you don't have to worry one bit. he's in good hands and I am quite sure he will improve."

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"Talk to me Wufei."

"About what?" Wufei sighed miserably and scowled at the stomach ache refusing to abate.

"Trowa. You told me a while ago that he is pure hearted."

"He is. It was not his fault those things he used fucked with his head. Besides I shouldn't have sat on the sides watching him destroy himself."

"You weren't truly on the sideline my dear. I think you wanted see someone else destroy himself and then destroy you."

"That makes no sense."

"But of course it does." The doctor smiled wryly and chuckled.

"He made me see the pairs much more clearly. I owe him for that." A wretched silence steered the room into thought.

"Explain to me Wufei. What are these pairs?"

"The punishments. They come in sets. Each time it is worse than the last."

"They punish you. Why?"

"Because of my curse. I open myself and I am chastised for it. Reeling in emotion will let the others see weakness, they see how disgusting I can be. And I get punished."

"so you don't want the world to see you. And you don't want to see the world."

"Oblivious in my nothingness."

"Why, that is just ridiculous Wufei." She smiled gently. "how do you live in nothingness?"

"Pain is not an option in nothingness. And its beautiful."

"Tell me something I don't know."

"Fours."

"What?"

"They come in fours now."

"Continue."

"First set, attack on colony, Meilan's death, Second set Colony destroyed, Treize's death, third set Merimea, Nataku's departure."

"And afterwards?"

"The quartet, Trowa and I. Quatre and Trowa. Duo and Heero. Heero and I."

"You see Heero as a punishment?"

"It is ridicule that they give me someone like him."

"What about your illness? Is that not a punishment?"

"That is required."

"What do you mean?"

"I acquired it the moment I touched nataku."

"I see. So you are in the same substance with the virus then if it was assimilated without the mockery."

"Exactly. I am the virus."

"Very interesting." Wufei became silent. "Are you thinking of Heero?"

"I'm thinking of why I continue to exist although the world hates me so."

"That sounds alot like self pity. I believe that was frowned upon in your collective."

"It is. You see that is why I am the alien." They laughed.

"Do you believe Heero is alien as well?"

"I believe he is a fool for staying with me."

"He is different too you know. He was discarded by the world like you. He was set out to die during the war. But he didn't. But Wufei you two aren't creatures of deciet, you're survivors and fighters. Children had no place in the battlefield anyhow." The doctor shook her head and poured herself some coffee.

"Goo goo ga ga."

"Don't mock me Wufei." She smirked in mock-anger.

"Heero isn't a creature of deciet. He was supposed to survive. It is I who plagued him and the world."

"You can't see yourself in the world. Just like you can't see Heero." Wufei growled and the comfort in the room evaporated, he was having trouble figuring why he was so afraid of the truth the doctor spoke.

"He can't even see himself. How am I supposed to?"

"Do you think he's like you?"

"NO! He could never be like me! Don't curse him by saying that!" He screeched and clutched the sides of his head.

"Calm down child. I merely said-"

"I know what you said! Heero is not important or a part of my everlasting evilness. He is with me to mock me. He is the remnant of what I was ridiculed under. He is with them!"

"You said Heero was an android once. I do not think androids are capable of mockery."

"He was programmed."

"By who you?"

"I am the master and saboteur of my own destruction after all."

"Wufei, he is seen. You do not want to see him. Just like you don't want to see the world."

"The world is not prepared for me. And you. You are hopeless in thinking you can understand the lurking malignance inside of me."

"Stop it." She said sternly, placing her cup down. "Your evilness is merely your fear of being alone. All your life you say you were rejected. Well the world is rejected in its self. My Wufei, it is YOU who does not understand the reality you try to escape from. And the virus is real. Yes it has made you weak, but it is not a curse from war or from your being different-"

"But the pairs!"

"The punishments are a chain of unfortunate events. And I'm sorry. Perhaps it is just for you to dub them punishments. But they do not punish from your being weak. But from your being a part of this reality."

Wufei shook his head furiously at the breakthrough. Every word managed to enter his grey filled mind. And it cleared the mess of his sickness for the time being. He saw the doctor as she really was he saw his hands and his shoes.

"See it Wufei? Now Heero will be seen."

"STOP IT!" He screamed recklessly and fell to his knees. the floor. It caught him. The floor was there, it was reality. And he could see it now.

"Now you must let go of the punishments. Of Meilan's mockery. Perhaps hers was authentic. But you are different. And it is best that you are. But keep your substance boy. As people you were all one in the same."

"One in the same bag of chips. Just toss the rotten one at the bottom." He managed wheezing like mad. The doctor rose from her chair and knelt down in front of Wufei.

"One in the same no different."

"No different."

``````

Wufei laid in the bed they had prepared for him. He was in a pack, and inable to move. It was a perfect place for a spell. And the ultimate session was yet to begin. Perhaps in the end of the week. But right now it warned him.

//The tiny doctor is right. I lie. Lies is what made me sick. Lies is what I used to curse myself. I lied to everyone. Even Heero. And he sees the world, but hates it. I hate it but do not see it\\

He let out a voiceless scream and tried to break the restraints when the spell pummeled him into the bed. All of the memories of paranoid mockery were broken down into mishaps of life. And he began to accept the ridicule as it came in those pairs. The doctor had helped him see Heero and the world they were both trying to escape. //But we can see it. And we can live in it.\\

`````

"Wufei this is our last session unfortunately. Do you wish to ask me anything?"

"I thought you were the doctor." He said caustically with every ouce of austerity he felt necessary. The doctor laughed.

"I am. But you can ask me something. Because I am very grateful for what we have done over the week."

"Allright. Anything?"

"Anything?"

"Why were dragons evil in medevial Europe, but good in medevial China?"

"Why I don't know. I suppose it comes from perception and experience. You see one man probably dreamt of the dragon being sinister to him. While the other man dreamt of the dragon protecting him." She laughed heartily. "Of all the questions Wufei. Why that one?"

"No reason." He smiled gently to himself.

"Do you want the world now?"

"No. But someday."

"Someday." She grinned and rotated the chair to face the sunset. Mug in hand she beamed. The world, as ugly as it was it was the world. And it was where they belonged.

``````

"Heero?"

The japanese boy was startled out of his work and spun around to meet a peculiar looking Wufei. The wonder in those new found eyes was strange and he sighed beneath their gaze.

"How did you get here? I was about to go pick you up."

"She let me out early. I took the train."

"The train?" Heero blinked beneath his surprise. Wufei took the train and made it in his state.

"No more spells."

"No more screaming." Heero flashed an uncharacteristic smile of contentedness. Wufei closed in on him, bringing his pale hand to his face. Heero leaned into the touch, estranged to his now tearful eyed lover.

"I can see you now Heero. And I love you. I'm sorry for making you feel so, alienated." They both chuckled. Heero wrapped his arms around Wufei, enveloping the child he had so much difficulty keeping in control. They endured spells, the wedding and their own feel of neglect together. But they had completed the ardous tests of each other. And now was the time of progress and love. Heero breathed in the scent of his lover's hair and the essence of his sickness.

But it was stable now. He was willing to see the world. he was willing to recover. And he loved this. he loved the ugly world now. He loved the way he coughed up blood. he truly could see and understand his reality. Perhaps it slapped him around from time to time, but it was his reality. All his own.

"You know you won't be the same when you recover. You'll still be ill inside."

"I know. But as long as I'm with you. I'll see it through. I'll see everything."

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The end.

-_-...... ok so. review or whatever. I won't be surprised if I don't get any reviews. Oh well doesn't really matter. IM DONE WITH THE ANATHEMA ANGSTY CRUSADE!!!!! ::leaps in joy::

Preview of future stories: Probably a couple of one shots and then I'll release another series. Thanks go to my reviewers who stuck to the end. Bye !