Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Angel ❯ Part 3 ( Chapter 3 )

Angel Part 3

glitterynile

"Oh the salt inside my body ruins
Everyone I come close to
My hands are barely holding up my head
I am so tired of looking at my feet
And all the secrets that I keep
My heart is barely hanging by a thread
Hanging by a thread..."

excerpt of Jann Arden - Hanging By A Thread

"Shh baby" trowa patted a tuff of golden hair resting under his chin, "It's ok shhh."

Quatre wrapped his arms around his lovers neck and nuzzled into the embrace. Trowa continued rocking him with a calming rhythm even as the boys tears dried. Time held still as emotions were freed then the pair ended their hold on one another.

"Trowa…I…" a finger was brought up and placed on pale lips. Bright blue-green eyes looked up confused.

"Lets take this to the bedroom" was the only statement issued before the young Arabian was dragged out of the bathroom and toward the bed of the master bedroom.

Trowa sat down and slid till his back touched the intricacy carved oak headboard. Signing he spread his legs and beckoned quatre to take his rightful place between them.

Nodding quatre sat slowly at the end of the bed and placed his clasped hands in his lap.

Trowa made a tsking sound, "Come on now little one, I will have none of that." He patted the spot between his legs once more and quatre willing complied with the request.

Snuggling the two lovers laid supporting each other for a time before the silence was broken.

"Kat" trowa whispered softly "Why?" quatre thought he would break into tears again.

/Why? Why Not? After all the awful things I have done don't I deserve to be punished?/

"I just wanted to…to…forget…I cut because I don't know what else to do… I find myself so desperate sometimes that I have to do something otherwise I think I'll go insane." Quatre shuttered as the sharp words rolled off his tongue.

" I have so much pain inside me."

/I can't cry. I can't get angry, and I don't know why. /

"I cut, and that releases the pain in another way. Sometimes I wish I didn't do it." he spoke with uncertainly and in a shaky whispered tone. He felt trowa nod his head.

" Quatre what I don't understand is why you kept this from me… how were you able to keep this to yourself?" the blonde winced.

/ long sleeves, pants, making love in the dark- it was just to be my secret /

"Trowa, it was my secret… I did everything I could to hide it…" Trowa ran his strong forearm up and down quatres back soothing him.

"but quatre why did you keep it from me?"

/ he's not going to give up /

Quatre ran his hand though his hair nervously, " It was just my secret" he whispered under his breath.

"What did you say?" trowa asked kindly missing the statement.

"It was just my dirty little secret!" Quatre sobbed out, Trowa held him again and shushed him.

"Baby you said that "sometimes I wish I didn't do it"… would you stop if you could?" trowa asked the blonde, the youth in his arms nodded in response.

"Alright, good…" Trowa pause and tightened his grip on his lover, "Angel would you mind getting help?"

Quatre looked up at trowa though thick bangs. "What do you mean help! I can handle this!" his tone was frustrated

"Handling this problem on your own can be daunting baby…seeking help is probably the best form of 'self help' that can be suggested, but therapy aside, you are the only person that can ultimately help yourself." Trowa remained calm though his heart felt like glass.

With that final thought quatre began to weep once more, trowa was right and the truth hurt worse than anything he had ever done to himself before.

quatre needed help…

end chapter 3

tbc