Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Angel ❯ Part 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Angel Part 5

Trowa replaced the note card in his pocket and look up at the building in front of him. It was small and had a comfort surrounding it. Grasping quatres hand the pair walked toward the cream colored building and entered though glass doors.

"May I help you?" a voice beckoned their attention as they entered the large waiting room.

"Yes" trowa spoke, letting go of quatres hand he pointed him in the direction of a bench then went to greet the lady behind the counter.

Sitting down quatre observed trowa talking softly and filling out paperwork. Feeling eyes upon him trowa turned to look at quatre. Giving the blonde a small smile, quatre quickly avoided trowas watchful eyes and took great interest in the carpet.

Minutes later feeling a soft weight settle in beside him quatre looked up to see trowa rummaging though various broaches.

"Trowa, what is that?" quatre asked curiously. Trowa simply handed him one and asked him to read it and if he felt like it to fill it out. As Quatre began Trowa slipped his arm around the blonde and supported him though physical contact.

Trowa began to gently stroke quatres shoulder with one hand, in the other he looked out one of the other broaches,

/ the lady at the desk said these would help /

The pair began to read, trowa finding almost the same information as before but also new factors such as self-injury could come from neglect, abuse, death in the family,
isolation, and any self-degrading thinking.

Quatres eyes wandered though the packet, lighting on key points on Stopping, First aid and Obsessing. Blue eyes clouded as the situation hit him.

Trowa knew

Everyone will know

Trowa would hate him

He would have to Stop

Quatre bit his lip, this wasn't what he wanted- he lied when he told trowa he wanted to stop. He didn't want to stop if it meant he would remain in pain.

/How could trowa do this!/

/because he loves you…/ a small voice from the back of his mind dawned light upon the situation.

Grinding his teeth quatre had enough, he wanted to go home. With a rude and hateful tone he spoke:

"I want to go home now!" trowa didn't even flinch. Instead he simply rose and wheeled quatre to do the same.

/The women warned me it would take time/

Quatre sped up and practically fled out the door. Trowa followed behind him.

~*~

Returning home the lovers were apart. Quatre played his violin in the next room while trowa sat on the living room sofa reading.

He took great care to read the sections pointed out to him,

Understand your feelings.

Be honest with yourself about how this self-injury makes you feel. Don't pretend to yourself that it's okay if it's not -- many people find self-injury repulsive, frightening, or provoking. If you need help dealing with the feelings aroused in you by self-injury, find a good therapist. Be careful, though, that you not try to get "surrogate therapy" for your family member/friend -- what goes on in your therapy sessions should remain between you and your therapist. Don't ask your therapist to try to diagnose or treat the person you're concerned about, and if the self-injurer seeks treatment, be sure that s/he is seeing a different therapist than you are.

/ I hope it doesn't come to that- I need to be strong for quatre /

Be supportive without reinforcing the behavior.

It's important that your friend, lover, child, sibling know that you can separate who they are from what they do, and that you love them independently of whether they self-injure. Be available as much as you can be. Set aside your personal feelings of fear or revulsion about the behavior and focus on what's going on with the person.

Trowa rubbed his eyes and sighed.

/ god, I love kat more than anything, I wish this wasn't happening he doesn't deserve this/

flipping though pages trowa began to get irritated.

/ ok I'm done my research, but it feels like I'm going in circles /

Take care of yourself.

It sounds like hard work, and it is. And if you try to be completely supportive to someone else 24/7, you're going to burn out (and they won't have any incentive to change). You have to find ways to be sure your needs are being met.

Take a break from it when you need to. When setting limits, remember that as much as you love someone, sometimes you're going to need to get away from them for a while. Tell the person that sometimes you need to recharge and that it doesn't affect your love for him/her. Only break into this personal time in cases of absolute life-or-death crisis.

The balance here is tricky, because if you make yourself more and more distant, you might get a reaction of increasing levels of crisis from the other person. If you let them know that they don't have to be about to die to get love and attention from you, you can take breaks without freaking the person out. The key is developing trust, a process that will take some time. Once you prove that you are someone who isn't going to go away at the first sign of trouble, you will be able to go away in non-crisis times without provoking a crisis response.

Trowa signed / this is way to hard to handle alone/

Ultimatums do not work. Ever.

Loving someone who injures him/herself is an exercise in knowing your limitations. No matter how much you care about someone, you cannot force them to behave as you'd prefer them to.

Confiscating tools used for SIV is worse than useless -- it just encourages the person to be creative in finding implements.

Trowa groaned / great I screwed up there /

The soft vibrating music flowed into the other room eased trowas nerves.

A small smile crepe across his face as the song took a turn and Mozart began. Swaying his fingers trowa stood and found the beat. It was the Adagio movement of Mozart's

Violin Concerto No.3. Recognizing the piece, trowa found a way to amend the current situation. Throwing the reading material in the sofa he then headed to the music room. Taking his flute from his case removed the plugs and placed the segmented instrument together.

Quietly entering the room, trowa found that quatre had his back to him. Bring the silver woodwind up to his mouth he joined in just like before not so very long ago. A slight pause came from the violin, then it adjusted easily and continued to play along side with the flute.

The intertwining instruments finished out the song and slowly quatre spoke,

"I need to talk to you Trowa" turning around blue eyes wet with tears locked with bright green ones. Moving closer quatre replaced his violin within it case not even bothering to clean excess Rosen from the strings.

"You can tell me anything little one" trowas tone was gentle and smooth.

Nodding quatre urged him to follow and led them to the bedroom. Trowa set his flute upon the oak desk and turned to face quatre who was currently curled on the bed. Patting the mattress with a pale hand the blonde swayed the tall boy to join him.

"I wanted to tell you I don't think I can stop" quatre bit his lip afraid of what trowa would think. He was unprepared for how the brunette would respond.

"Baby, I care for you and your welfare. If you don't want to stop now that's your choice", trowa pause and took a calming breath. / I'll be damn if I screw this up/ He ran his hand though find gold hair.

" This is up to you quatre, I'll support you any way I can"

Quatre smiled and scooted closer to trowa, who wrapped his arms around his petite lover. "I wouldn't bring this up again, If you want to talk I'll be here, and I'll listen."

Trowa patted the tuff of hair that grazed his shirt. "I love you mon cher, nothing can change that"

Quatre began to cry, gently and with slow movements. Trowa continue to pat his loves back and sooth him as best he could.

They were going to get though this, not now, not in a couple of weeks but when quatre was ready. Trowa smiled, that was enough for him.

End of part 5

I think I'm gonna have 1 or 2 more parts

I hope you are enjoying and learning

glitterynile

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