Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Beautiful Dawn ❯ Chapter 32/35 ( Chapter 32 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Michalyn 
Love hurts: Heero, Zechs and Duo find out the hard way.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.26.2003 | Pages: 6 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress
Love hurts: Heero, Zechs and Duo find out the hard way.
Anime/Manga: Gundam Wing Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Romance | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 07.26.2003 | Pages: 6 | Words: 7.7K | Visits: 1.2K | Status: Work In Progress
Standard disclaimers apply: I don't own Gundam Wing or its bishounen,
nor am I making any monetary profit from this fic whatsoever.
Here it is! A new chapter after a very long wait! Gomen!
Author: Michalyn (darling_162002@yahoo.com)
Pairings: 6x1, 13+5 ( possible 13x5 later), 3+4
General Warnings: AU ( the pilots are 18, Zechs and Treize are 23)
yaoi, angst, sap, lemon
Archive: http://angelfire.com/gundam/asanctuary,
http://sweetlysour.net, http://www.gundam-wing-universe.net/
Rating: NC 17
Warnings for this chapter: 6x1 lime; ANGST .
Feedback: craved ^_^
Beautiful Dawn 32/35
Quietly, Heero padded back into the bedroom, skin slick from his recent shower. Of course, Zechs was waiting for him. The blonde was lounging negligently on the bed, but when he saw Heero he smiled and rose. Extending a large palm, Zechs looked tenderly down at his young mate.
"Come," he murmured softly.
And wordlessly Heero followed, allowing himself to be led over to the bed. He didn't protest as, with solicitous care, Zechs grabbed a small towel and gently began drying his hair. When the older man was done, long fingers sank into the dark, unruly locks, sensuously massaging and drawing a tremulous moan from Heero.
Hearing the husky admission of pleasure the large blonde released a soft moan of his own. Sinking onto the mattress, he pulled Heero with him until the slim youth was nestled on top of Zechs, his dark head pillowed against the blonde's chest. Milliardo's hands found the supple planes of Heero's back and slowly caressed. His fingers traced the groove of the brunette's spine and instinctively, Heero trembled and pressed closer to the strong, sure warmth holding him. After a moment a small, wistful sigh escaped him.
Bending, Zechs nuzzled the delicate shell of an ear. He made a questioning sound. "What is it?" he asked quietly.
Heero shrugged. He looked up into azure eyes then away. "You know we can't stay in here like this much longer," he said gruffly.
Zechs raised a tawny eyebrow. "Indeed?" Deftly he rolled them over until Heero was lying beneath him. Milliardo smiled as his clever hands snatched away the towel wrapped around the brunette's waist, enjoying Heero's dark frown and the exasperated breath that gusted past the younger man's lips. --A breath that quickly tapered off into a deep, passion-filled moan as he caressed his beloved slowly and intimately. Sweetly Zechs kissed the graceful indent between Heero's collarbones. "I was hoping to spend the day making love with you," he confessed hotly. His hands moved again and Heero's head tossed on the pillow, body arching fluidly as another burst of pleasure broke over him. He was helpless to command it. -- Helpless to resist the love washing through his veins. Heero's voice shattered, splintering into a thousand tiny fragments - words without meaning, tortured breaths, passionate sounds that fell on Zechs' ears like sweet music.
His eyes closed even as another surge of pleasure stole through him.
Fiercely he kissed Zechs. "You torture me," Heero groaned roughly. Insistently he stilled the older man's hands. "The others will come looking for us," he warned and Zechs' blue eyes danced with warmth. The blonde put on his most innocent face - which was quite a feat - all things considered. Fixing a solemn azure gaze on Heero's he released the brunette. "Alright," he sighed dramatically. "I promise I won't lay another hand on you," he vowed.
Satisfied Heero nodded. "Good. Then let's--" The brunette choked as Zechs quickly slid down his body and tight, wet, heat surrounded the most sensitive part of him.
Convulsively, Heero clutched at the sheets. "Zechs!" he moaned.
Heero wanted to protest - truly he did - but it was Zechs' humming that undid him. When the hands gripping his thighs spread him even further, Heero lost all coherent thought. Slowly his hips began rocking. He would think about revenge later.
~~~
Duo stared at the intricate grain of Zechs' bedroom door. The weight of nervousness was an icy lump in his stomach, but bravely the singer squared his shoulders. He had finally come to a decision and he wasn't about to back out now. His love for Zechs was a deep unfulfilled ache in breast and the fear of rejection gnawed at his insides as he stood on the other side of the older man's door. And despite his words of self-assurance, the chestnut-haired beauty couldn't help but feel that he was on the threshold of disaster. Still, Duo thought resolutely, he would not waver in this. He was freeing himself of this hopeless love - and his desperate devotion to a man who could never be his.
After years spent fantasizing …years spent yearning for love, it had taken only a week for every single one of his dreams to topple before him. Every hope of comfort, every prospect of passion gone in a blink of his rival's blue, blue eyes... Bitterly, Duo shook his head. "Had there ever really been a rivalry?" his inner voice jeered. " Was there truly ever any doubt where Zechs' heart lay?" No. He had been a fool clinging to the past. A past that had died the very day he'd abandoned love for ambition. --A past that he was releasing now- forever. Purple eyes gleamed defiantly. He had chosen. And he would not live with regrets.
Duo's palms clenched. It was time to move on - figuratively as well as literally. Seeing his friends again--A pained smile touched the braided man's lips. Especially dear Wufei who had finally trusted himself enough to love…had been wonderful - and achingly bittersweet. Leaving them again would hurt like hell, but Duo knew he'd made the right decision. It was enough. He just…just needed to see Milliardo one more time - to say this final goodbye in person. Taking a deep breath the slender beauty tried to reassure himself that it was best this way.
Tremblingly, he raised his fist to knock… Besides Duo told himself. He didn't think he'd be able to do it tomorrow when the moment of departure was finally upon him. His emotions would be too strong - too raw to control. He feared he'd do something rash - and damn it, he'd promised himself no regrets, Duo reminded himself with a rush of determination. He would not mess up a second time.
Firming his resolve, Duo brought his fist to Zechs' door…
And it opened abruptly, without his fingers ever grazing the wood. Duo found himself facing not Zechs' familiar smile, but Heero's startled blue eyes. He thought he had prepared himself, but the irrefutable evidence of Zechs' choice, standing right before him was too much. A burning, searing pain stole his breath, but it was his heart…his heart that was wrenched in agony at the bitter, bitter confirmation of his folly. Duo's jaw clenched and his fingernails bit painfully into his palm. "Gods, how could he have been so blind?"
Heero's blue gaze locked helplessly with the singer's anguished violet. The other man's shocked stance and the tight brackets of pain around Duo's mouth told the whole story. How utterly changed he was from the jubilant beauty peering out of an old photograph. And Heero, who had walked side by side with pain his entire life, felt his own heart clench for the man that was his rival. He did not know much about love, but he knew the agony of losing the only light in one's life. Last night…he had found his light in Milliardo's arms - only to plunge Duo in darkness. Heero's fists clenched and painfully he lowered his own gaze. Neither man could speak or move - both bound in that moment of bitter recognition.
Soft footsteps padded towards them. --The sound of bare feet on tile, followed by Zechs' unmistakable voice calling his lover from within. And even then Duo could not wrench himself away. Even when he knew it would only bring him more pain, he could not turn away from Zechs.
"Love, why are you---" Zechs stilled. "I--" His gaze fell from Heero to Duo -- And back to Heero again, some sadistic part of Duo's brain couldn't help pointing out.
Regret filled Zechs' eyes as he raised his palms in a helpless gesture. "Duo…"
Milliardo's eyes closed briefly. This was not how he wanted things to be. He hadn't wanted Duo to find out this way…not after the chestnut-haired youth had been so supportive of him - so brave in the face of his own breaking heart. Zechs shook his head and took a faltering step forward towards his former lover. "Duo…Kit, I--"
Duo's head snapped sharply backwards at the nickname. Violet eyes flashed with pain as he quickly raised his palm. "Don't." he ground out. His body radiated violent tension and a convulsive shudder shook him. "Don't call me that," he repeated hoarsely. Defeatedly, Duo's head dropped to his chest. "Please," he whispered. "Please…I can't--" After a moment he raised his eyes again to the couple. Bravely, the singer took a deep breath. Duo looked squarely into Zechs' eyes. He could do this.
But even as he tried to strengthen his resolve, belatedly, Duo absorbed Zechs' rumpled, appearance. Despite the obvious worry marring the older man's features, yesterday's desperate agitation and the aura of hopelessness and dejection that had surrounded Milliardo since they'd met were gone. In their place was a tiredness seen in the faint shadows beneath the blonde's eyes. But it was not the weariness of despair: It was the bone-deep lassitude of satisfaction. He had the look of a man well loved - and the confidence of one in whom hope had been reawakened.
His former lover was naked to the waist, the pale silky mass of his hair tumbling carelessly over his smooth shoulders. The fine gold hairs on Milliardo's arms glinted softly in the light, emphasizing the corded power of bone and muscle. The shadow of stubble on Zechs' cheeks sharpened the already sensual planes of his face, making him appear wild - and unutterably virile. Even as pain beat at his chest Duo couldn't help thinking how strong, how fierce - how *desirable * Zechs looked. And he hated himself for it.
There was no mistaking the way the older man's body leaned subtly - protectively - towards Heero. No mistaking the way his fingers deliberately brushed Heero's in a gentle caress. But there was more: A purplish bruise marred the skin of Zechs' neck just below his neck-- Duo's eyes closed painfully. And there was another - just above his heart.
Looking carefully he realized that Heero's lips were reddened and slightly swollen. The shirt he was wearing was Zechs' and though largely shielded by his clothes, he bore the same stamps of passion that colored his lover's flesh.
Abruptly Duo turned on his heel. He'd lied. He couldn't do this.
He didn't look up, not even when Zechs reached for him and called his name. The brunette shoved his hands deep into his pockets and just kept walking, walking, walking… To where, Duo didn't know. He just knew that had to get as far away from the two men as possible.
He only wished he could walk away from his own heart.
Another tormented tremor coursed through the pale beauty as he forced back the tears clouding his vision and the cry welling in his throat. When he reached the corner of the staircase Duo slumped to the ground. Hanging his head between his knees the beauty's shoulders heaved once, violently before stilling. Overcome by his sorrow, nothing could have prepared the purple-eyed youth for the light hand gently touching his shoulder and the body warmth beside him as someone joined him quietly on the stair.
Slowly, with numbing trepidation, Duo peered over his arm and for the second time that day found himself staring into Heero's sympathetic irises. The dark beauty gave him what was not so much a smile, but a small, hesitant movement of his lips.
A myriad of feelings rose within Duo at the sight of the other man. -Anger, sorrow, envy - and reluctant companionship…
Bristling, Duo shook his head sharply. "What do you want?" He got to the point, trying to sound flippant, irritated, angry - anything save hurt. But the hoarseness of his voice betrayed him. Stubbornly the singer looked away.
"I-" Heero frowned, staring uncomfortably at his hands. He snuck another uncertain glance at the other man before murmuring quietly. "I-I-- wanted to talk."
Duo told himself that his ears were playing tricks on him, but looking over at the other man's intense expression, he saw that Heero was utterly serious. The brunette was waiting quietly, his brow furrowed in concentration.
A swift urge to wound the man who'd replaced him in Milliardo's heart rose within Duo, but seeing Heero's tightly clenched fists and the thin line of the brunette's lips, the braided man realized that this was no easier for Heero than it was for him. Despite his strong exterior, the man looked strangely vulnerable sitting next to Duo in Zechs' over-sized shirt, blue eyes fixed on some far, invisible point ahead of him. His shoulder rested lightly against the wall and Heero's naked feet, curled defensively inward peeked out from beneath the frayed hems of his jeans.
Unbidden Quatre's words hinting at the suffering the other man had been through rose in his mind and the hurtful impulse drained away, leaving Duo feeling suddenly empty. Helpless to regain the love he'd lost, but equally unable to resent his enemy.
Wearily Duo turned once more to Heero. He sighed even as his shoulders slumped lower. Gods he hoped he didn't live to regret this… Lightly he touched Heero's white knuckles. "Okay."
~~~
Slowly, Heero released the breath he hadn't been aware of holding. He found that he was … relieved. If Duo hadn't agreed to listen, there would be no hope of his proposition ever becoming a reality. When he'd found Duo on the other side of the door, something in the man's pained eyes had found its twin in him. In that moment, the night's uncertainties had washed away and it suddenly occurred to Heero what he had to do - for both Zechs' and his sake. Yet, even he had not imagined how very difficult it would be.
And never one good with words, Heero feared that his awkwardness would now be his undoing. The brunette frowned at his hands. Where to begin?
He began haltingly. "I..." Heero cleared his throat. "I know about you and Zechs…"
Tamping down his anger, Duo snorted derisively. "No shit."
When Heero didn't respond for some time, Duo 's face twisted into a scowl. "So…is that it?" The singer flashed a mirthless smile. "Or did you just want rub the fact that Z is fucking you instead of me in my face?" Duo was deliberately crude, hoping to shock the other man away. Maybe then Heero would get the point and let him be.
But Heero only frowned in puzzlement as serious blue eyes searched Duo's. "No," he said slowly. "I did not…" He pursed his lips in consternation. "I do not see how that would serve any logical purpose."
Duo stared. "Any logical-" the brunette burst out laughing. "Jesus-" He shook his head in amazement. "No wonder Zechs can't get you out of his system." When Heero still appeared confused, Duo elaborated. "With looks like yours and all those issues-" The singer shook his head again. "Not even I can compete with that." A short bark of laughter escaped him, but it faded quickly. "Z always did have a habit of picking up strays," he murmured softly.
There was an odd look in Heero's eyes as he watched Duo. The other man nodded as if coming to a painful truth. "Then it is as I suspected," he revealed quietly. Quickly, before Duo could question the statement, Heero plunged forward. "I think you should return to Zechs," he blurted.
"What?"
Heero's expression was shuttered. "I said, I think you-"
"I heard you the first time," Duo interrupted, making a chopping motion with his hand. Gods, why did the man have to be so literal? "What the hell are you talking about?" Duo demanded. If this was some kind of cruel joke, Zechs' feelings be damned, he was going to hit this guy in the face.
Heero drew his feet closer to his body. "We are not friends," he said simply, "But I came here to ask for your help." He glanced at Duo. "I had been hoping that perhaps we could strike a partnership."
"A partnership?" Duo repeated dumbly.
Heero nodded. "I often think…" he paused, searching for the right words. "That Milliardo should not be attracted to me." The brunette nodded again, to himself. "In fact, it is something I try to understand everyday." Heero confessed quietly. He shrugged. "Though he says otherwise, I believe Milliardo would prefer a mate who is more attractive, who is less serious and more …spontaneous," he finished softly. Blue eyes flashed with pain before locking with violet. "Like you."
Duo could only stare at the other man, unable to absorb what Heero was telling him. But even if he had been able to speak, Heero was already continuing. The brunette spoke softly and deliberately.
"Zechs-" Heero's fists clenched. "He is an extraordinary man…He believes that he cares for me. And this morning, I started to think it possible for the two of us to have a relationship…" Heero studied the ovals of his fingernails. Since you seem to have no other options, I was willing to offer you a permanent place to stay. I live alone and I would not mind a…roommate. In exchange I thought perhaps that you could teach me to be more like everyone else… more…more human." Heero shook his head. I hoped that maybe if I were different, then Mil and I would have a chance… "
The dark beauty pondered for a moment. "It had not occurred to me before, but your earlier words suggest that Milliardo is attracted not to me, but by the challenge my circumstances present." Heero's eyes closed briefly, sorrowfully. "I believe you are right."
"In that case, I believe it is best if I continue with my studies - as my guardian would have wished - and for you to resume your relationship with Zechs. With time he will soon see the delusion which led him to me and recognize the superiority of your relationship." Heero rose quickly as he flashed Duo a small, pained smile. "You've been very helpful. Thank you." He turned to leave.
"Wait!" Duo stood and stopped Heero with a hand on his shoulder. He searched the other man's eyes. "You're being serious aren't you?"
Heero looked Duo squarely in the eyes. "Yes."
The fair man sighed. How was supposed to hate the man when Heero was so desperately in need of the kind of love and companionship that would allow him to see his own worth? Sometimes, Duo thought wryly, he really hated his own kind heart.
Facing Heero once again, he gestured helplessly. "Heero, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I didn't mean to imply that Zechs doesn't care for you. It's just that-" Duo tried to find the right words to remedy the damage he'd done. The singer exhaled noisily. "Z has never been one to take the easy route in anything. The challenge invigorates him you know? He's just that kind of guy."
When Heero continued to stare blankly at him Duo tried again. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe initially Mil was simply attracted to the fact that you weren't, well -* easy*," he said simply. Duo's mouth turned down bitterly. "But you'd be a fool to not see that he's in love with you." The braided youth turned slightly away. "-More in love with you than he's been with anyone else."
Heero frowned. "But-"
Duo made an exasperated sound. "No buts," he said sharply. This is hard enough for me as it is, so just shut up and listen. "Zechs LOVES you. He told me so himself. And If I thought there was a chance in hell that he didn't, I wouldn't be here wasting my breath with you. I'd be with him." Duo met Heero's gaze head on. "You love him right?"
Heero's eyes closed. He hesitated, afraid to utter the irrevocable words. "I--"
Duo raised a honeyed eyebrow. "Well?"
The brunette pressed his lips into a thin line, his fists clenching as he grappled with himself. He wanted to say it, wanted to finally admit with words what his heart had been telling him all along… Heero's dark head bowed. But how could he, when everything he'd ever loved had been taken away from him? If only he could believe…
Emotion filled his chest, until Heero wanted to burst with it. "I-I care for him," he stuttered at last.
"You * care * for him?" Duo asked incredulously. "Heero you * care * for a puppy or a favorite kitten - not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Either you love him or you don't." The singer's voice was firm. "Do you love Zechs?"
"I don't believe in love," Heero said dully.
"Yeah? Well I don't believe you." Duo countered. "I think you're a coward." He said challengingly. "You want Zechs but you're too scared to take the risk. Well you know what Heero? That's just not good enough."
The brunette's gaze darkened. "I'm not afraid," he denied.
"Liar."
Heero's head snapped backwards and his eyes narrowed, but Duo was unfazed. "You heard me," he taunted. He'd be damned if he were going to make this easy for Heero. Not when every word was a stab in his own heart. "If you're not afraid, then say it. Say that you love him."
He could see the violent working of the other man's jaw as he struggled with himself. But finally the last resistance seemed to fall away, leaving only Heero's surrender.
"I love him."
Duo nodded approvingly. "Good, now go tell him before it's too late." He shook his head sadly one final time before leaving. "Life's too short to live with regrets." Duo flashed the brunette a look over his shoulder.
"Oh, and Heero, you're already human. Believe that."
~~~
"Well don't you look like the cat that ate the canary?"
Zechs grinned as he moved to pour himself some tea. "Who, me?" he asked innocently.
Treize, who was lounging on the patio in his morning clothes smiled at Zechs' Cheshire grin. "Ahh, I see," he rumbled amusedly. "Dare I assume that you and a certain someone have managed to work things out?"
Settling himself on the nearby chair Zechs cupped the mug in his hands and inhaled the fragrant drink deeply. He sipped then glanced at Treize over the porcelain rim. "You are entitled to assume anything you want, my good man," he said breezily. "I really have nothing to do with it, whatever."
When Treize made an exasperated noise and tossed his napkin at the blonde, Zechs smiled winningly. "Okay, okay, I'll behave." Quietly he looked into his cup for a moment before meeting Treize's stare. "Last night Heero came to me-"
A honeyed eyebrow shot upwards and Treize's grin broadened. "He came to you? Why that's marvelous Mil!" The shorthaired man sobered. "I know how much you wanted this."
Serious too, Zechs nodded. "Things aren't perfect, mind you," he said with a determined look. The blonde smiled softly. "But I believe we've reached an understanding." And so saying, he glanced nervously at his watch for the second time since he'd joined his best friend.
Observing the movement, Treize leaned forward, ginger hair falling placidly over his forehead. Calmly he looked about before turning once more to Milliardo. "And where is Heero right now, that you keep checking your watch so frequently" he asked quietly. His eyes twinkled. "Here I finally have my best friend back and I find him looking into another's face."
Zechs groaned at the deliberate pun as his companion chuckled. "Treize, that was bad even for you." He shook his head in amazement. "Another's--" he repeated smiling, "-gods, I think Wufei is rubbing off a bit too much on you," the blonde teased. "And to answer your question, Heero is with Duo."
"Ahem," Treize peered at Milliardo's features as if fearing for his sanity. Calmly he sipped at his own cup. "Do you think that's wise?" he asked neutrally.
Seeing his friend's expression Zechs rolled his eyes. "I know what you're thinking, but no, I haven't completely lost it yet." The blonde proceeded to explain the morning's incident to Treize who listened with an expression that was both intrigued and concerned. Zechs sighed. "I have to admit that I am worried," he confessed. " I can't think what Heero could possibly say to Duo that could possibly ease his pain - or wouldn't result in his anger. -Something I definitely don't feel Heero needs any more of right now. But I thought it best not to interfere. Milliardo shrugged. If Heero wants to tell me he will. I just hope it went well…" The blonde trailed off, looking absently in the distance.
"Hmm," Treize purred thoughtfully. "Well, we shall see, shan't we?" His gaze traveled over Zechs' shoulder " Here comes your Heero right now."
Craning his neck to catch a glimpse of his young lover, Zechs turned around to see Heero approaching them. The brunette's expression was troubled, but it was quickly masked as soon as he spotted the two men.
Coming up the patio stairs, Heero's gaze rested lingeringly on Zechs before moving over to the ginger-haired man. He nodded to Treize. "Good morning."
Treize smiled warmly. "Good morning, Heero," he extended the basket of buttered scones to first Heero and then Zechs. "Won't you have anything to eat?" he offered congenially.
Murmuring his thanks, Heero took two of the pastries then proceeded to pour himself a drink and quietly he seated himself near Zechs.
When Treize inquired of Zechs again, the blonde shook his head. Azure gaze locking with Heero's, Zechs smiled devilishly. "No thanks, I've already eaten."
Heero flushed to the roots of his hair and a sudden coughing fit seemed to seize the dark beauty. The scones toppled from his napkin and fell to the ground as he hunched over, watery-eyed.
Shaking his head at his best friend's antics. Treize smothered his laugh into his napkin. He considered adding his own arch commentary, but decided that the poor brunette had suffered enough. "Oh dear," he murmured. Gracefully, he moved to offer Heero some water. "There," he said soothingly. "Are you alright now?"
Heero nodded. "Thank you." He paused to drink some more water, and the glare he shot his partner was positively venomous.
Treize couldn't help chuckling as he wandered over to the railing. Surveying the lush gardens his eyes lit up as he spotted something in the distance. Turning once more to the two men he shook his head. "I hate to be abrupt," the shorthaired man apologized, "but I believe I see Wufei approaching. If you'll excuse me…" Treize rose gracefully. "Heero, Mil, I'll see you both again at dinner?"
Heero, who was still trying to catch his breath merely nodded, while Zechs rose to place a companionable arm over Treize's shoulders. "You will. And Khush," his eyes met the other's meaningfully. "Thanks for everything."
Treize smiled. "It's what I'm here for," he vowed solemnly. Smiling, he glanced over at Heero then winked discreetly at his friend. "Enjoy yourself ok?"
Zechs' eyes twinkled. "And yourself." He grinned. "I'll see you at dinner?"
Treize nodded.
"Good. And Khush-- " he called after the retreating man with mock exasperation. "Please don't do anything I wouldn't do."
It coaxed a bark of laughter from the ginger-haired man, and stopping, Treize rolled his eyes. " Well, my dear Milliardo," he replied drolly "that thankfully isn't much." Sapphire eyes dancing, he saluted. "Ta ta…"
Laughing, Zechs threw his head back to the brilliant sky. Could life get any better?
~~~
Dinner was a somber affair. The room was quiet, save for the muted clinking of metal against china, and after many failed attempts at cheerful conversation, even Quatre had retreated to silence. Further down the table, Treize and Wufei engaged in bursts of murmured conversation, but the palpable tension wilted the aristocrat's usual wit and Wufei was too worried about his friend to offer any more than a few words of acknowledgement to his mate. Newly reunited, Heero and Zechs sat next to each other but little was spoken between them. Partly because the brunette had been quiet and contemplative for much of the day - and partly because Duo was seated across from them at the table, staring at his plate with dull, unseeing eyes.
It was a regrettable end to a week's worth of good intentions Quatre thought sadly. It would not be long before they would go their separate ways and while he was happy for Heero and Zechs, he mourned for Duo's loss, and feared that in his scheming he'd not only hurt Duo in the process, but had permanently lost a friend. Woefully, he lowered his gaze and picked half-heartedly at his vegetables. Beneath the table, Trowa's comforting hand squeezed his and it was with great effort that the blonde suppressed the sigh bubbling within him. What a terrible, terrible mess.
Aptly or ironically - the blonde couldn't decide which - it was Duo who broke the silence.
Seeing the beauty's forced grin was painful, but not more so than the words that were to come. Standing, and raising his glass in morbid mimicry of a toast Duo saluted the small group.
"Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make." His lips twisted in a mocking grin. "Much as I've enjoyed these wonderful moments with you, I'm afraid that I must be on my way again."
Zechs looked up, guilt and sorrow tearing at his chest. "Duo, please," he implored quietly. "You don't have to do this. We can--"
Duo silenced him with a motion of his hand, meeting the other man's gaze head on. "Yes, I do," he countered in all seriousness. Duo cocked his hip saucily and tossed his braid over his shoulder. "My career awaits. --You know, the price of fame and all that crap," he joked bitterly.
Alarmed, Quatre rose from his chair as well. "You're leaving us?" he asked mournfully. He contemplated dissuading the other man, but seeing the determined glint in Duo's eyes abandoned any hope of changing the singer's mind. Quatre shook his head. "Not tonight I hope?"
It was Duo's turn to shake his head. "Nope," he answered, shoving his hands into his pockets. "First thing tomorrow. Bags are all packed and everything's set." Duo looked around the table, purple eyes softening as they fell on each man. Zechs he would not look at. "I don't suppose I could bum a ride from anyone here could I?"
Trowa nodded. "Duo, if this is what you truly wish," he said softly "I'll be happy to take you to the station."
"No."
They were all startled by Wufei's quiet negation. "I shall take Maxwell to the station," He said firmly. Sloe eyes met violet. "That is, if Duo will allow it." Speechless, Duo stared at his friend. Finally he nodded, understanding shimmering between them. Suddenly defeated, he fell back into his seat. He nodded. "Thanks Wu," he murmured gratefully and Wufei nodded.
"I would be honored."
~~~
Wufei sat cross-legged on the bed, watching as Duo carefully packed away his few remaining belongings.
Wufei looked concernedly at the braided youth. "Duo, is this what you really want? It's not too late to change your mind. Perhaps with a night to sleep on the matter, you will realize that you've been hasty, " the dark-eyed man suggested.
A laugh gusted past Duo's lips. "What I want?" He shook his head. "Fei, right now I couldn't even begin to tell you what I want. All I know is I'm tired of feeling like an idiot - and tired of having my heart broken." He shot Wufei a pointed look. "No offense but I can tell when I'm not wanted." Light danced across Duo's hair as he shook his head. "Nope," he said firmly. "I'm leaving here tomorrow and that's that. No sense in hanging around here anymore…" He trailed off, looking wistfully at the purpling sky through the nearby bedroom window.
Frowning, Wufei protested. "Maxwell you know that is not true. I- * we* all care about you," he insisted.
The braided man made a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a groan. "That may be true Fei, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm a fifth wheel here - and believe me, it's no fun." He hesitated. "Even you…" he said softly before continuing. " You're the best friend I've ever had Wu," Duo confessed fiercely, "But we've all changed. How many times have we just talked like this over the past week?"
Wufei felt ashamed. He bowed his head. "I'm sorry Duo," he apologized. "My behavior was inexcusable," Wufei vowed solemnly. "I should have been more attentive - more of a friend."
But Duo shook his head. "See but that's just thing," he said quietly. "It wasn't inexcusable. It's perfectly natural. You're in love - and engaged - though I found out from Tro and not you," he said sadly, quickly raising a hand to stop Wufei's apologies. "No, it's alright - really." Violet eyes bored into Wufei's. "You and Treize needed this time to focus on each other. I wouldn't want you to spend it moping around with me anymore than if our positions were reversed," Duo reassured his friend. Like I said, we've all changed - and for the better," he affirmed shrugging. "Sometimes change means that somebody gets left out. I guess this time it was me," he murmured softly.
Duo smiled tiredly. " But enough about me." He turned curiously towards his friend. "What did you do today?"
Wufei shrugged. "Nothing in particular. Just spent it with Treize."
Raising an eyebrow Duo spared Wufei a teasing smile. "Just spent it with Treize?" he asked innocently. "Didn't do anything special at all?"
"No--" Wufei began to answer Duo seriously - until he saw the teasing glint in the other man's eyes. He growled, ducking is head, even as faint color touched his cheeks. "Maxwell, don't even start," he warned.
Duo raised his hands defensively. "Me? Start what?" Violet eyes danced. "I 'm just asking a simple question. Whatever could you be implying Mr. Chang?" he teased. " Unless you've done something you weren't supposed to?" Duo grinned. "Wufei, have you been a naughty boy?"
Pleased that his friend was once more smiling, but not sure if he was happy that it was at his expense Wufei scowled and folded his arms. "I would like you to know that I'm officially ignoring you," he informed the violet-eyed man breezily. "Treize's and my love-life is entirely none of your business."
"Aha, who said anything about love-life?" Duo chortled as Wufei realized his slip and blushed even redder. Duo wiggled his eyebrows. "So you have been busy!"
Thoroughly red now, Wufei flopped back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands. "Shut up," he growled.
Sprawling right beside him Duo rolled over onto his side so that he was facing Wufei. Deliberately he peeled his friend's hands away from his face. He peered at the other man.
"What?" Wufei glared.
"So, I'm dying to know," Duo grinned cheekily. "How was it?"
The slim Chinese sighed wearily. "How was what?" he asked stubbornly, knowing very well what the other man was referring to.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Don't try to play innocent with me. I've seen the way Treize looks at you. The man can't keep his hands to himself when he's around you. Plus, don't forget I stumbled in on you two that one time in the garden," he informed Wufei who groaned miserably. " A little later and I think I would have seen a lot more than the two of you trying to devour each other whole."
Wufei huffed. "We were not--"
Duo shot his best friend a look that patently said he wasn't buying the other's argument in the least. "Wufei, Treize was shirtless and you were writhing in his lap," his eyes twinkled. "And if I remember correctly - your hands were none too idle either," Duo added wryly.
"Nataku, why me?" Wufei wailed.
Duo chuckled. "Prayin' ain't gonna help you now Bub." He poked Wufei in the side. "Spill."
The dark beauty sputtered. "No."
Duo became solemn. "Then I'm sorry Wufei, but you've forced me to do this." He loomed over the smaller man, hands poised warningly."
Wufei's eyes widened fearfully and he scrambled to sit up. "You wouldn't," he dared.
"Oh no?"
Before Wufei could escape, Duo pounced, tickling the dark beauty mercilessly. He was one of the few people who knew just how ticklish the serious Chinese was and he had always had great fun using it to his advantage. He was happy to see he hadn't lost his touch when in no time at all he had his best friend gasping for air and begging for mercy.
"Stop!" Wufei gasped. "Ok-alright-I'll tell…"
Smugly, Duo released the slim scholar and smiled. "I'm waiting."
While Wufei caught his breath and otherwise found his bearings, Duo smiled sadly. "Man, I really miss this," he confessed softly. He threw an arm over his eyes. "We really had some good times didn't we Wu?" he asked sorrowfully.
Wufei remained quiet, but after a moment he nudged Duo, who found himself staring into gentle, black eyes. The scholar flashed the pale beauty a small, conspiratorial smile. He took a deep breath.
"If you so much as breathe a word of this to Treize, you're dead…" Wufei warned gruffly.
Slowly, Duo's eyes widened and for the first time that day a true grin brightened his face. Throwing his friend a pillow and grabbing one for himself, the singer proceeded to make himself comfortable.
"Tell all, my dear Wufei," he purred, crossing a palm over his heart. "I am the soul of discretion."
~~~
Heero was sitting in bed typing in his laptop when Zechs crawled in beside him. Gently, the blonde caressed his lover's cheek. "You're awfully quiet today," he observed softly. "Is everything alright?"
Pausing first to finish typing his sentence, Heero shrugged and logged off, shutting down the modest notebook. He seemed to want to ask something, but instead the brunette just nodded curtly. "Everything is fine."
Zechs frowned. He opened his arms in the same movement, inviting Heero into the embrace. Heero hesitated, but after a moment relented, moving into the warm circle of Zechs' arms, which the blonde immediately tightened protectively. He nuzzled Heero's damp hair. "Are you sure?" Zechs asked quietly. "You know you can talk to me about anything right?" He tilted the brunette's face up towards him when Heero didn't answer.
"Right?" he repeated, azure ayes searching deep blue.
Heero's eyes fluttered close, but he nodded. "Yes."
Milliardo was still concerned, especially knowing that Duo and his Love had had a confrontation of sorts. But realizing that it was unlikely that he would get any more information from Heero tonight he let the matter rest. When in a rare moment of tenderness Heero wrapped his arms around Zechs' waist and turned in the larger man's embrace so that he could snuggle against his chest, Zechs found himself eagerly responding.
Gently, their mouths met and what started as a lazy mating quickly built to a fever pitch. Heero's hands were tentatively exploring his body and Zechs wanted nothing so much as to lower the brunette back onto the sheets and slowly ravish him. But ignoring the heated clamoring of his body for his lover, the blonde reluctantly ended the kiss. There would be time enough for making love later, he told himself. For now, he just wanted to hold Heero. When the younger man made a questioning sound at Zechs' sudden withdrawal, the large blonde smiled. Tenderly, he kissed Heero's flushed cheek. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "Is it alright if I just hold you tonight?" Zechs asked quietly and their eyes held for a moment.
Heero's expression was unreadable as he nodded. "Okay."
-Another sweet kiss. "Thank you."
Zechs watched yearningly as Heero rose from the bed and quickly changed out of his clothes. His naked body gleamed in the lamplight, amber glow caressing muscular curves, until he reached over and shut the lights off, submerging them in darkness.
The covers shifted and Zechs felt a warm body slide under the sheets next to him. Heero was just a dim outline amidst shadows as Zechs' eyes struggled to readjust to the surroundings. He rolled over, needing the solid reassurance of his mate's body pressed against his own. Easily, his arms encircled the brunette and Heero shivered minutely, the soft movements of his lips against Zechs' neck like the brush of butterflies' wings.
It felt so wonderful - so right to be like this - with Heero's heart beating against his and his lover's soft breaths caressing his skin that Zechs pulled Heero even closer and smiled contentedly in the darkness. Softly, he nibbled on the delicate lobe of Heero's ear, teeth gently grazing and tongue sweeping upwards to hotly trace the convolutions of his ear. Tremors truly shook Heero then and he shifted in Zechs arms, making a small needy mewl of pleasure.
"I thought you said you didn't want to do this."
Zechs' laugh was husky - sensual. "I can't help it." A long, muscular thigh slid between Heero's making him gasp as Zechs' mouth lowered to suckle on the sensitive skin of the his throat. "The more I touch you, the more I can't seem to get enough of you."
Their mouths met and a pair of fevered moans echoed in the darkness. When they pulled apart they were both breathless, clinging to each other with the heated desperation of desire. Zechs groaned long and deep, roughly capturing those wonderful lips in a brief kiss. Heero's hands were swiftly moving southward over Zechs' body and when they found their treasure a hoarse cry rippled from the blonde's throat as he bucked in pleasure - his face buried in the crook of Heero's neck even as his own hands teased and caressed.
"Gods I love you," Zechs panted. He rained tiny kisses over Heero's body, punctuating each one with those three heart-bending words.
"Why?"
Raising his head Zechs stilled in the act of planting another kiss on Heero's stomach. Immediately worried, he moved to sit against the bed head and pulled Heero into is lap. The brunette's body was tense in his arms and Zechs wished he could see Heero's expression - wished he knew what had caused the sudden change in his partner. Carefully, his arms circled the slim beauty.
"Why what Love?" he breathed softly. "Why do I love you?"
There was no answer for long moments then Heero nodded. "Yes," his voice was uncertain.
Zechs sighed, convinced that this was in some way related to Heero's conversation with Heero. "Heero I don't know what you're thinking," Zechs frowned "-Or what you were told," he murmured softly. "But I love you because you're * you*" His arms tightened protectively. "-Sexy, intelligent, kind--" Zechs' shoulders moved in soft laughter. "And so impossibly thick-skulled at times that you make me want to tear my hair out." The blonde found Heero's hand and he traced the sensitive webbing between Heero's thumb and forefinger. He smiled. "And that's just the beginning."
Heero was silent, no doubt wrangling with what Zechs had just said and whatever impossible, deprecating notion he had of himself. After a while he sighed wearily, relaxing slowly in Zechs' arms.
The blonde kissed him. "Does this mean you believe me?" he asked hopefully, his heart beating hard and fast. When Heero nodded, joy surged through him and Zechs couldn't help kissing the brunette until he was breathless. He grinned. "Good. Does this mean that you feel the same way about me?" Zechs sobered. "Do you love me too?"
As soon as the words were out of the blonde's mouth he regretted them. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't pressure Heero into admitting his feelings, no matter how much his heart yearned for it - no matter how much he ached to know that Heero loved him too. But now that the words were out, he needed to know. His heart beat wildly in his chest as nervousness and fear shook him. He stood poised on the precipice of ecstasy - or numbing agony - and Zechs didn't think he could survive the latter. Not now, not after all that had happened.
Heero trembled. "I--" Desperately his fists clenched as he remembered Duo's words. He loved Zechs, he wanted to tell him, wanted to trust his own heart. The blonde had been so good to him - had shown him a life beyond grief and despair. Had given him warmth and understanding and loving that turned his bones to honey. Heero's eyes closed, his lips parted. "I-I--" Agonized, he tried to escape the other man's embrace.
"I'm sorry Zechs."
Zechs didn't think it was possible to feel such pain. Gasping, he turned away from the brunette, unaccustomed moisture pricking at his eyes. When was Heero ever going to start trusting him? When would he believe in their love enough to take the risk? -To truly open his heart to him? He was unable to speak. Silently he allowed the brunette his escape and watched as Heero lurched off the bed, stumbling through the open door to his own room.
After that Zechs couldn't see anything. He turned onto his side as the well of hot tears burst from behind his eyelids.
~~~~
Humming softly, Duo moved to the window and wistfully watched as the clouds scuttled over the moon. He listened to the night creatures calling to one another under its milky eye and he sighed. "So much for love," he thought sadly. "So much for love." Across the room, his suitcases were small, lonely shapes in the darkness.
He thought of tomorrow's trip and Duo didn't think he could sleep. Instead he sat perched at the window, staring sorrowfully out at the mated earth. Closing his eyes, he sang softly to himself, contemplated all that he had risked and all that he had lost.
And his low, mournful tune swelled, filling the lonely night.
nor am I making any monetary profit from this fic whatsoever.
Here it is! A new chapter after a very long wait! Gomen!
Author: Michalyn (darling_162002@yahoo.com)
Pairings: 6x1, 13+5 ( possible 13x5 later), 3+4
General Warnings: AU ( the pilots are 18, Zechs and Treize are 23)
yaoi, angst, sap, lemon
Archive: http://angelfire.com/gundam/asanctuary,
http://sweetlysour.net, http://www.gundam-wing-universe.net/
Rating: NC 17
Warnings for this chapter: 6x1 lime; ANGST .
Feedback: craved ^_^
Beautiful Dawn 32/35
Quietly, Heero padded back into the bedroom, skin slick from his recent shower. Of course, Zechs was waiting for him. The blonde was lounging negligently on the bed, but when he saw Heero he smiled and rose. Extending a large palm, Zechs looked tenderly down at his young mate.
"Come," he murmured softly.
And wordlessly Heero followed, allowing himself to be led over to the bed. He didn't protest as, with solicitous care, Zechs grabbed a small towel and gently began drying his hair. When the older man was done, long fingers sank into the dark, unruly locks, sensuously massaging and drawing a tremulous moan from Heero.
Hearing the husky admission of pleasure the large blonde released a soft moan of his own. Sinking onto the mattress, he pulled Heero with him until the slim youth was nestled on top of Zechs, his dark head pillowed against the blonde's chest. Milliardo's hands found the supple planes of Heero's back and slowly caressed. His fingers traced the groove of the brunette's spine and instinctively, Heero trembled and pressed closer to the strong, sure warmth holding him. After a moment a small, wistful sigh escaped him.
Bending, Zechs nuzzled the delicate shell of an ear. He made a questioning sound. "What is it?" he asked quietly.
Heero shrugged. He looked up into azure eyes then away. "You know we can't stay in here like this much longer," he said gruffly.
Zechs raised a tawny eyebrow. "Indeed?" Deftly he rolled them over until Heero was lying beneath him. Milliardo smiled as his clever hands snatched away the towel wrapped around the brunette's waist, enjoying Heero's dark frown and the exasperated breath that gusted past the younger man's lips. --A breath that quickly tapered off into a deep, passion-filled moan as he caressed his beloved slowly and intimately. Sweetly Zechs kissed the graceful indent between Heero's collarbones. "I was hoping to spend the day making love with you," he confessed hotly. His hands moved again and Heero's head tossed on the pillow, body arching fluidly as another burst of pleasure broke over him. He was helpless to command it. -- Helpless to resist the love washing through his veins. Heero's voice shattered, splintering into a thousand tiny fragments - words without meaning, tortured breaths, passionate sounds that fell on Zechs' ears like sweet music.
His eyes closed even as another surge of pleasure stole through him.
Fiercely he kissed Zechs. "You torture me," Heero groaned roughly. Insistently he stilled the older man's hands. "The others will come looking for us," he warned and Zechs' blue eyes danced with warmth. The blonde put on his most innocent face - which was quite a feat - all things considered. Fixing a solemn azure gaze on Heero's he released the brunette. "Alright," he sighed dramatically. "I promise I won't lay another hand on you," he vowed.
Satisfied Heero nodded. "Good. Then let's--" The brunette choked as Zechs quickly slid down his body and tight, wet, heat surrounded the most sensitive part of him.
Convulsively, Heero clutched at the sheets. "Zechs!" he moaned.
Heero wanted to protest - truly he did - but it was Zechs' humming that undid him. When the hands gripping his thighs spread him even further, Heero lost all coherent thought. Slowly his hips began rocking. He would think about revenge later.
~~~
Duo stared at the intricate grain of Zechs' bedroom door. The weight of nervousness was an icy lump in his stomach, but bravely the singer squared his shoulders. He had finally come to a decision and he wasn't about to back out now. His love for Zechs was a deep unfulfilled ache in breast and the fear of rejection gnawed at his insides as he stood on the other side of the older man's door. And despite his words of self-assurance, the chestnut-haired beauty couldn't help but feel that he was on the threshold of disaster. Still, Duo thought resolutely, he would not waver in this. He was freeing himself of this hopeless love - and his desperate devotion to a man who could never be his.
After years spent fantasizing …years spent yearning for love, it had taken only a week for every single one of his dreams to topple before him. Every hope of comfort, every prospect of passion gone in a blink of his rival's blue, blue eyes... Bitterly, Duo shook his head. "Had there ever really been a rivalry?" his inner voice jeered. " Was there truly ever any doubt where Zechs' heart lay?" No. He had been a fool clinging to the past. A past that had died the very day he'd abandoned love for ambition. --A past that he was releasing now- forever. Purple eyes gleamed defiantly. He had chosen. And he would not live with regrets.
Duo's palms clenched. It was time to move on - figuratively as well as literally. Seeing his friends again--A pained smile touched the braided man's lips. Especially dear Wufei who had finally trusted himself enough to love…had been wonderful - and achingly bittersweet. Leaving them again would hurt like hell, but Duo knew he'd made the right decision. It was enough. He just…just needed to see Milliardo one more time - to say this final goodbye in person. Taking a deep breath the slender beauty tried to reassure himself that it was best this way.
Tremblingly, he raised his fist to knock… Besides Duo told himself. He didn't think he'd be able to do it tomorrow when the moment of departure was finally upon him. His emotions would be too strong - too raw to control. He feared he'd do something rash - and damn it, he'd promised himself no regrets, Duo reminded himself with a rush of determination. He would not mess up a second time.
Firming his resolve, Duo brought his fist to Zechs' door…
And it opened abruptly, without his fingers ever grazing the wood. Duo found himself facing not Zechs' familiar smile, but Heero's startled blue eyes. He thought he had prepared himself, but the irrefutable evidence of Zechs' choice, standing right before him was too much. A burning, searing pain stole his breath, but it was his heart…his heart that was wrenched in agony at the bitter, bitter confirmation of his folly. Duo's jaw clenched and his fingernails bit painfully into his palm. "Gods, how could he have been so blind?"
Heero's blue gaze locked helplessly with the singer's anguished violet. The other man's shocked stance and the tight brackets of pain around Duo's mouth told the whole story. How utterly changed he was from the jubilant beauty peering out of an old photograph. And Heero, who had walked side by side with pain his entire life, felt his own heart clench for the man that was his rival. He did not know much about love, but he knew the agony of losing the only light in one's life. Last night…he had found his light in Milliardo's arms - only to plunge Duo in darkness. Heero's fists clenched and painfully he lowered his own gaze. Neither man could speak or move - both bound in that moment of bitter recognition.
Soft footsteps padded towards them. --The sound of bare feet on tile, followed by Zechs' unmistakable voice calling his lover from within. And even then Duo could not wrench himself away. Even when he knew it would only bring him more pain, he could not turn away from Zechs.
"Love, why are you---" Zechs stilled. "I--" His gaze fell from Heero to Duo -- And back to Heero again, some sadistic part of Duo's brain couldn't help pointing out.
Regret filled Zechs' eyes as he raised his palms in a helpless gesture. "Duo…"
Milliardo's eyes closed briefly. This was not how he wanted things to be. He hadn't wanted Duo to find out this way…not after the chestnut-haired youth had been so supportive of him - so brave in the face of his own breaking heart. Zechs shook his head and took a faltering step forward towards his former lover. "Duo…Kit, I--"
Duo's head snapped sharply backwards at the nickname. Violet eyes flashed with pain as he quickly raised his palm. "Don't." he ground out. His body radiated violent tension and a convulsive shudder shook him. "Don't call me that," he repeated hoarsely. Defeatedly, Duo's head dropped to his chest. "Please," he whispered. "Please…I can't--" After a moment he raised his eyes again to the couple. Bravely, the singer took a deep breath. Duo looked squarely into Zechs' eyes. He could do this.
But even as he tried to strengthen his resolve, belatedly, Duo absorbed Zechs' rumpled, appearance. Despite the obvious worry marring the older man's features, yesterday's desperate agitation and the aura of hopelessness and dejection that had surrounded Milliardo since they'd met were gone. In their place was a tiredness seen in the faint shadows beneath the blonde's eyes. But it was not the weariness of despair: It was the bone-deep lassitude of satisfaction. He had the look of a man well loved - and the confidence of one in whom hope had been reawakened.
His former lover was naked to the waist, the pale silky mass of his hair tumbling carelessly over his smooth shoulders. The fine gold hairs on Milliardo's arms glinted softly in the light, emphasizing the corded power of bone and muscle. The shadow of stubble on Zechs' cheeks sharpened the already sensual planes of his face, making him appear wild - and unutterably virile. Even as pain beat at his chest Duo couldn't help thinking how strong, how fierce - how *desirable * Zechs looked. And he hated himself for it.
There was no mistaking the way the older man's body leaned subtly - protectively - towards Heero. No mistaking the way his fingers deliberately brushed Heero's in a gentle caress. But there was more: A purplish bruise marred the skin of Zechs' neck just below his neck-- Duo's eyes closed painfully. And there was another - just above his heart.
Looking carefully he realized that Heero's lips were reddened and slightly swollen. The shirt he was wearing was Zechs' and though largely shielded by his clothes, he bore the same stamps of passion that colored his lover's flesh.
Abruptly Duo turned on his heel. He'd lied. He couldn't do this.
He didn't look up, not even when Zechs reached for him and called his name. The brunette shoved his hands deep into his pockets and just kept walking, walking, walking… To where, Duo didn't know. He just knew that had to get as far away from the two men as possible.
He only wished he could walk away from his own heart.
Another tormented tremor coursed through the pale beauty as he forced back the tears clouding his vision and the cry welling in his throat. When he reached the corner of the staircase Duo slumped to the ground. Hanging his head between his knees the beauty's shoulders heaved once, violently before stilling. Overcome by his sorrow, nothing could have prepared the purple-eyed youth for the light hand gently touching his shoulder and the body warmth beside him as someone joined him quietly on the stair.
Slowly, with numbing trepidation, Duo peered over his arm and for the second time that day found himself staring into Heero's sympathetic irises. The dark beauty gave him what was not so much a smile, but a small, hesitant movement of his lips.
A myriad of feelings rose within Duo at the sight of the other man. -Anger, sorrow, envy - and reluctant companionship…
Bristling, Duo shook his head sharply. "What do you want?" He got to the point, trying to sound flippant, irritated, angry - anything save hurt. But the hoarseness of his voice betrayed him. Stubbornly the singer looked away.
"I-" Heero frowned, staring uncomfortably at his hands. He snuck another uncertain glance at the other man before murmuring quietly. "I-I-- wanted to talk."
Duo told himself that his ears were playing tricks on him, but looking over at the other man's intense expression, he saw that Heero was utterly serious. The brunette was waiting quietly, his brow furrowed in concentration.
A swift urge to wound the man who'd replaced him in Milliardo's heart rose within Duo, but seeing Heero's tightly clenched fists and the thin line of the brunette's lips, the braided man realized that this was no easier for Heero than it was for him. Despite his strong exterior, the man looked strangely vulnerable sitting next to Duo in Zechs' over-sized shirt, blue eyes fixed on some far, invisible point ahead of him. His shoulder rested lightly against the wall and Heero's naked feet, curled defensively inward peeked out from beneath the frayed hems of his jeans.
Unbidden Quatre's words hinting at the suffering the other man had been through rose in his mind and the hurtful impulse drained away, leaving Duo feeling suddenly empty. Helpless to regain the love he'd lost, but equally unable to resent his enemy.
Wearily Duo turned once more to Heero. He sighed even as his shoulders slumped lower. Gods he hoped he didn't live to regret this… Lightly he touched Heero's white knuckles. "Okay."
~~~
Slowly, Heero released the breath he hadn't been aware of holding. He found that he was … relieved. If Duo hadn't agreed to listen, there would be no hope of his proposition ever becoming a reality. When he'd found Duo on the other side of the door, something in the man's pained eyes had found its twin in him. In that moment, the night's uncertainties had washed away and it suddenly occurred to Heero what he had to do - for both Zechs' and his sake. Yet, even he had not imagined how very difficult it would be.
And never one good with words, Heero feared that his awkwardness would now be his undoing. The brunette frowned at his hands. Where to begin?
He began haltingly. "I..." Heero cleared his throat. "I know about you and Zechs…"
Tamping down his anger, Duo snorted derisively. "No shit."
When Heero didn't respond for some time, Duo 's face twisted into a scowl. "So…is that it?" The singer flashed a mirthless smile. "Or did you just want rub the fact that Z is fucking you instead of me in my face?" Duo was deliberately crude, hoping to shock the other man away. Maybe then Heero would get the point and let him be.
But Heero only frowned in puzzlement as serious blue eyes searched Duo's. "No," he said slowly. "I did not…" He pursed his lips in consternation. "I do not see how that would serve any logical purpose."
Duo stared. "Any logical-" the brunette burst out laughing. "Jesus-" He shook his head in amazement. "No wonder Zechs can't get you out of his system." When Heero still appeared confused, Duo elaborated. "With looks like yours and all those issues-" The singer shook his head again. "Not even I can compete with that." A short bark of laughter escaped him, but it faded quickly. "Z always did have a habit of picking up strays," he murmured softly.
There was an odd look in Heero's eyes as he watched Duo. The other man nodded as if coming to a painful truth. "Then it is as I suspected," he revealed quietly. Quickly, before Duo could question the statement, Heero plunged forward. "I think you should return to Zechs," he blurted.
"What?"
Heero's expression was shuttered. "I said, I think you-"
"I heard you the first time," Duo interrupted, making a chopping motion with his hand. Gods, why did the man have to be so literal? "What the hell are you talking about?" Duo demanded. If this was some kind of cruel joke, Zechs' feelings be damned, he was going to hit this guy in the face.
Heero drew his feet closer to his body. "We are not friends," he said simply, "But I came here to ask for your help." He glanced at Duo. "I had been hoping that perhaps we could strike a partnership."
"A partnership?" Duo repeated dumbly.
Heero nodded. "I often think…" he paused, searching for the right words. "That Milliardo should not be attracted to me." The brunette nodded again, to himself. "In fact, it is something I try to understand everyday." Heero confessed quietly. He shrugged. "Though he says otherwise, I believe Milliardo would prefer a mate who is more attractive, who is less serious and more …spontaneous," he finished softly. Blue eyes flashed with pain before locking with violet. "Like you."
Duo could only stare at the other man, unable to absorb what Heero was telling him. But even if he had been able to speak, Heero was already continuing. The brunette spoke softly and deliberately.
"Zechs-" Heero's fists clenched. "He is an extraordinary man…He believes that he cares for me. And this morning, I started to think it possible for the two of us to have a relationship…" Heero studied the ovals of his fingernails. Since you seem to have no other options, I was willing to offer you a permanent place to stay. I live alone and I would not mind a…roommate. In exchange I thought perhaps that you could teach me to be more like everyone else… more…more human." Heero shook his head. I hoped that maybe if I were different, then Mil and I would have a chance… "
The dark beauty pondered for a moment. "It had not occurred to me before, but your earlier words suggest that Milliardo is attracted not to me, but by the challenge my circumstances present." Heero's eyes closed briefly, sorrowfully. "I believe you are right."
"In that case, I believe it is best if I continue with my studies - as my guardian would have wished - and for you to resume your relationship with Zechs. With time he will soon see the delusion which led him to me and recognize the superiority of your relationship." Heero rose quickly as he flashed Duo a small, pained smile. "You've been very helpful. Thank you." He turned to leave.
"Wait!" Duo stood and stopped Heero with a hand on his shoulder. He searched the other man's eyes. "You're being serious aren't you?"
Heero looked Duo squarely in the eyes. "Yes."
The fair man sighed. How was supposed to hate the man when Heero was so desperately in need of the kind of love and companionship that would allow him to see his own worth? Sometimes, Duo thought wryly, he really hated his own kind heart.
Facing Heero once again, he gestured helplessly. "Heero, I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I didn't mean to imply that Zechs doesn't care for you. It's just that-" Duo tried to find the right words to remedy the damage he'd done. The singer exhaled noisily. "Z has never been one to take the easy route in anything. The challenge invigorates him you know? He's just that kind of guy."
When Heero continued to stare blankly at him Duo tried again. "What I'm trying to say is that maybe initially Mil was simply attracted to the fact that you weren't, well -* easy*," he said simply. Duo's mouth turned down bitterly. "But you'd be a fool to not see that he's in love with you." The braided youth turned slightly away. "-More in love with you than he's been with anyone else."
Heero frowned. "But-"
Duo made an exasperated sound. "No buts," he said sharply. This is hard enough for me as it is, so just shut up and listen. "Zechs LOVES you. He told me so himself. And If I thought there was a chance in hell that he didn't, I wouldn't be here wasting my breath with you. I'd be with him." Duo met Heero's gaze head on. "You love him right?"
Heero's eyes closed. He hesitated, afraid to utter the irrevocable words. "I--"
Duo raised a honeyed eyebrow. "Well?"
The brunette pressed his lips into a thin line, his fists clenching as he grappled with himself. He wanted to say it, wanted to finally admit with words what his heart had been telling him all along… Heero's dark head bowed. But how could he, when everything he'd ever loved had been taken away from him? If only he could believe…
Emotion filled his chest, until Heero wanted to burst with it. "I-I care for him," he stuttered at last.
"You * care * for him?" Duo asked incredulously. "Heero you * care * for a puppy or a favorite kitten - not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Either you love him or you don't." The singer's voice was firm. "Do you love Zechs?"
"I don't believe in love," Heero said dully.
"Yeah? Well I don't believe you." Duo countered. "I think you're a coward." He said challengingly. "You want Zechs but you're too scared to take the risk. Well you know what Heero? That's just not good enough."
The brunette's gaze darkened. "I'm not afraid," he denied.
"Liar."
Heero's head snapped backwards and his eyes narrowed, but Duo was unfazed. "You heard me," he taunted. He'd be damned if he were going to make this easy for Heero. Not when every word was a stab in his own heart. "If you're not afraid, then say it. Say that you love him."
He could see the violent working of the other man's jaw as he struggled with himself. But finally the last resistance seemed to fall away, leaving only Heero's surrender.
"I love him."
Duo nodded approvingly. "Good, now go tell him before it's too late." He shook his head sadly one final time before leaving. "Life's too short to live with regrets." Duo flashed the brunette a look over his shoulder.
"Oh, and Heero, you're already human. Believe that."
~~~
"Well don't you look like the cat that ate the canary?"
Zechs grinned as he moved to pour himself some tea. "Who, me?" he asked innocently.
Treize, who was lounging on the patio in his morning clothes smiled at Zechs' Cheshire grin. "Ahh, I see," he rumbled amusedly. "Dare I assume that you and a certain someone have managed to work things out?"
Settling himself on the nearby chair Zechs cupped the mug in his hands and inhaled the fragrant drink deeply. He sipped then glanced at Treize over the porcelain rim. "You are entitled to assume anything you want, my good man," he said breezily. "I really have nothing to do with it, whatever."
When Treize made an exasperated noise and tossed his napkin at the blonde, Zechs smiled winningly. "Okay, okay, I'll behave." Quietly he looked into his cup for a moment before meeting Treize's stare. "Last night Heero came to me-"
A honeyed eyebrow shot upwards and Treize's grin broadened. "He came to you? Why that's marvelous Mil!" The shorthaired man sobered. "I know how much you wanted this."
Serious too, Zechs nodded. "Things aren't perfect, mind you," he said with a determined look. The blonde smiled softly. "But I believe we've reached an understanding." And so saying, he glanced nervously at his watch for the second time since he'd joined his best friend.
Observing the movement, Treize leaned forward, ginger hair falling placidly over his forehead. Calmly he looked about before turning once more to Milliardo. "And where is Heero right now, that you keep checking your watch so frequently" he asked quietly. His eyes twinkled. "Here I finally have my best friend back and I find him looking into another's face."
Zechs groaned at the deliberate pun as his companion chuckled. "Treize, that was bad even for you." He shook his head in amazement. "Another's--" he repeated smiling, "-gods, I think Wufei is rubbing off a bit too much on you," the blonde teased. "And to answer your question, Heero is with Duo."
"Ahem," Treize peered at Milliardo's features as if fearing for his sanity. Calmly he sipped at his own cup. "Do you think that's wise?" he asked neutrally.
Seeing his friend's expression Zechs rolled his eyes. "I know what you're thinking, but no, I haven't completely lost it yet." The blonde proceeded to explain the morning's incident to Treize who listened with an expression that was both intrigued and concerned. Zechs sighed. "I have to admit that I am worried," he confessed. " I can't think what Heero could possibly say to Duo that could possibly ease his pain - or wouldn't result in his anger. -Something I definitely don't feel Heero needs any more of right now. But I thought it best not to interfere. Milliardo shrugged. If Heero wants to tell me he will. I just hope it went well…" The blonde trailed off, looking absently in the distance.
"Hmm," Treize purred thoughtfully. "Well, we shall see, shan't we?" His gaze traveled over Zechs' shoulder " Here comes your Heero right now."
Craning his neck to catch a glimpse of his young lover, Zechs turned around to see Heero approaching them. The brunette's expression was troubled, but it was quickly masked as soon as he spotted the two men.
Coming up the patio stairs, Heero's gaze rested lingeringly on Zechs before moving over to the ginger-haired man. He nodded to Treize. "Good morning."
Treize smiled warmly. "Good morning, Heero," he extended the basket of buttered scones to first Heero and then Zechs. "Won't you have anything to eat?" he offered congenially.
Murmuring his thanks, Heero took two of the pastries then proceeded to pour himself a drink and quietly he seated himself near Zechs.
When Treize inquired of Zechs again, the blonde shook his head. Azure gaze locking with Heero's, Zechs smiled devilishly. "No thanks, I've already eaten."
Heero flushed to the roots of his hair and a sudden coughing fit seemed to seize the dark beauty. The scones toppled from his napkin and fell to the ground as he hunched over, watery-eyed.
Shaking his head at his best friend's antics. Treize smothered his laugh into his napkin. He considered adding his own arch commentary, but decided that the poor brunette had suffered enough. "Oh dear," he murmured. Gracefully, he moved to offer Heero some water. "There," he said soothingly. "Are you alright now?"
Heero nodded. "Thank you." He paused to drink some more water, and the glare he shot his partner was positively venomous.
Treize couldn't help chuckling as he wandered over to the railing. Surveying the lush gardens his eyes lit up as he spotted something in the distance. Turning once more to the two men he shook his head. "I hate to be abrupt," the shorthaired man apologized, "but I believe I see Wufei approaching. If you'll excuse me…" Treize rose gracefully. "Heero, Mil, I'll see you both again at dinner?"
Heero, who was still trying to catch his breath merely nodded, while Zechs rose to place a companionable arm over Treize's shoulders. "You will. And Khush," his eyes met the other's meaningfully. "Thanks for everything."
Treize smiled. "It's what I'm here for," he vowed solemnly. Smiling, he glanced over at Heero then winked discreetly at his friend. "Enjoy yourself ok?"
Zechs' eyes twinkled. "And yourself." He grinned. "I'll see you at dinner?"
Treize nodded.
"Good. And Khush-- " he called after the retreating man with mock exasperation. "Please don't do anything I wouldn't do."
It coaxed a bark of laughter from the ginger-haired man, and stopping, Treize rolled his eyes. " Well, my dear Milliardo," he replied drolly "that thankfully isn't much." Sapphire eyes dancing, he saluted. "Ta ta…"
Laughing, Zechs threw his head back to the brilliant sky. Could life get any better?
~~~
Dinner was a somber affair. The room was quiet, save for the muted clinking of metal against china, and after many failed attempts at cheerful conversation, even Quatre had retreated to silence. Further down the table, Treize and Wufei engaged in bursts of murmured conversation, but the palpable tension wilted the aristocrat's usual wit and Wufei was too worried about his friend to offer any more than a few words of acknowledgement to his mate. Newly reunited, Heero and Zechs sat next to each other but little was spoken between them. Partly because the brunette had been quiet and contemplative for much of the day - and partly because Duo was seated across from them at the table, staring at his plate with dull, unseeing eyes.
It was a regrettable end to a week's worth of good intentions Quatre thought sadly. It would not be long before they would go their separate ways and while he was happy for Heero and Zechs, he mourned for Duo's loss, and feared that in his scheming he'd not only hurt Duo in the process, but had permanently lost a friend. Woefully, he lowered his gaze and picked half-heartedly at his vegetables. Beneath the table, Trowa's comforting hand squeezed his and it was with great effort that the blonde suppressed the sigh bubbling within him. What a terrible, terrible mess.
Aptly or ironically - the blonde couldn't decide which - it was Duo who broke the silence.
Seeing the beauty's forced grin was painful, but not more so than the words that were to come. Standing, and raising his glass in morbid mimicry of a toast Duo saluted the small group.
"Gentlemen, I have an announcement to make." His lips twisted in a mocking grin. "Much as I've enjoyed these wonderful moments with you, I'm afraid that I must be on my way again."
Zechs looked up, guilt and sorrow tearing at his chest. "Duo, please," he implored quietly. "You don't have to do this. We can--"
Duo silenced him with a motion of his hand, meeting the other man's gaze head on. "Yes, I do," he countered in all seriousness. Duo cocked his hip saucily and tossed his braid over his shoulder. "My career awaits. --You know, the price of fame and all that crap," he joked bitterly.
Alarmed, Quatre rose from his chair as well. "You're leaving us?" he asked mournfully. He contemplated dissuading the other man, but seeing the determined glint in Duo's eyes abandoned any hope of changing the singer's mind. Quatre shook his head. "Not tonight I hope?"
It was Duo's turn to shake his head. "Nope," he answered, shoving his hands into his pockets. "First thing tomorrow. Bags are all packed and everything's set." Duo looked around the table, purple eyes softening as they fell on each man. Zechs he would not look at. "I don't suppose I could bum a ride from anyone here could I?"
Trowa nodded. "Duo, if this is what you truly wish," he said softly "I'll be happy to take you to the station."
"No."
They were all startled by Wufei's quiet negation. "I shall take Maxwell to the station," He said firmly. Sloe eyes met violet. "That is, if Duo will allow it." Speechless, Duo stared at his friend. Finally he nodded, understanding shimmering between them. Suddenly defeated, he fell back into his seat. He nodded. "Thanks Wu," he murmured gratefully and Wufei nodded.
"I would be honored."
~~~
Wufei sat cross-legged on the bed, watching as Duo carefully packed away his few remaining belongings.
Wufei looked concernedly at the braided youth. "Duo, is this what you really want? It's not too late to change your mind. Perhaps with a night to sleep on the matter, you will realize that you've been hasty, " the dark-eyed man suggested.
A laugh gusted past Duo's lips. "What I want?" He shook his head. "Fei, right now I couldn't even begin to tell you what I want. All I know is I'm tired of feeling like an idiot - and tired of having my heart broken." He shot Wufei a pointed look. "No offense but I can tell when I'm not wanted." Light danced across Duo's hair as he shook his head. "Nope," he said firmly. "I'm leaving here tomorrow and that's that. No sense in hanging around here anymore…" He trailed off, looking wistfully at the purpling sky through the nearby bedroom window.
Frowning, Wufei protested. "Maxwell you know that is not true. I- * we* all care about you," he insisted.
The braided man made a sound that was somewhere between a sigh and a groan. "That may be true Fei, but it still doesn't change the fact that I'm a fifth wheel here - and believe me, it's no fun." He hesitated. "Even you…" he said softly before continuing. " You're the best friend I've ever had Wu," Duo confessed fiercely, "But we've all changed. How many times have we just talked like this over the past week?"
Wufei felt ashamed. He bowed his head. "I'm sorry Duo," he apologized. "My behavior was inexcusable," Wufei vowed solemnly. "I should have been more attentive - more of a friend."
But Duo shook his head. "See but that's just thing," he said quietly. "It wasn't inexcusable. It's perfectly natural. You're in love - and engaged - though I found out from Tro and not you," he said sadly, quickly raising a hand to stop Wufei's apologies. "No, it's alright - really." Violet eyes bored into Wufei's. "You and Treize needed this time to focus on each other. I wouldn't want you to spend it moping around with me anymore than if our positions were reversed," Duo reassured his friend. Like I said, we've all changed - and for the better," he affirmed shrugging. "Sometimes change means that somebody gets left out. I guess this time it was me," he murmured softly.
Duo smiled tiredly. " But enough about me." He turned curiously towards his friend. "What did you do today?"
Wufei shrugged. "Nothing in particular. Just spent it with Treize."
Raising an eyebrow Duo spared Wufei a teasing smile. "Just spent it with Treize?" he asked innocently. "Didn't do anything special at all?"
"No--" Wufei began to answer Duo seriously - until he saw the teasing glint in the other man's eyes. He growled, ducking is head, even as faint color touched his cheeks. "Maxwell, don't even start," he warned.
Duo raised his hands defensively. "Me? Start what?" Violet eyes danced. "I 'm just asking a simple question. Whatever could you be implying Mr. Chang?" he teased. " Unless you've done something you weren't supposed to?" Duo grinned. "Wufei, have you been a naughty boy?"
Pleased that his friend was once more smiling, but not sure if he was happy that it was at his expense Wufei scowled and folded his arms. "I would like you to know that I'm officially ignoring you," he informed the violet-eyed man breezily. "Treize's and my love-life is entirely none of your business."
"Aha, who said anything about love-life?" Duo chortled as Wufei realized his slip and blushed even redder. Duo wiggled his eyebrows. "So you have been busy!"
Thoroughly red now, Wufei flopped back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands. "Shut up," he growled.
Sprawling right beside him Duo rolled over onto his side so that he was facing Wufei. Deliberately he peeled his friend's hands away from his face. He peered at the other man.
"What?" Wufei glared.
"So, I'm dying to know," Duo grinned cheekily. "How was it?"
The slim Chinese sighed wearily. "How was what?" he asked stubbornly, knowing very well what the other man was referring to.
Duo rolled his eyes. "Don't try to play innocent with me. I've seen the way Treize looks at you. The man can't keep his hands to himself when he's around you. Plus, don't forget I stumbled in on you two that one time in the garden," he informed Wufei who groaned miserably. " A little later and I think I would have seen a lot more than the two of you trying to devour each other whole."
Wufei huffed. "We were not--"
Duo shot his best friend a look that patently said he wasn't buying the other's argument in the least. "Wufei, Treize was shirtless and you were writhing in his lap," his eyes twinkled. "And if I remember correctly - your hands were none too idle either," Duo added wryly.
"Nataku, why me?" Wufei wailed.
Duo chuckled. "Prayin' ain't gonna help you now Bub." He poked Wufei in the side. "Spill."
The dark beauty sputtered. "No."
Duo became solemn. "Then I'm sorry Wufei, but you've forced me to do this." He loomed over the smaller man, hands poised warningly."
Wufei's eyes widened fearfully and he scrambled to sit up. "You wouldn't," he dared.
"Oh no?"
Before Wufei could escape, Duo pounced, tickling the dark beauty mercilessly. He was one of the few people who knew just how ticklish the serious Chinese was and he had always had great fun using it to his advantage. He was happy to see he hadn't lost his touch when in no time at all he had his best friend gasping for air and begging for mercy.
"Stop!" Wufei gasped. "Ok-alright-I'll tell…"
Smugly, Duo released the slim scholar and smiled. "I'm waiting."
While Wufei caught his breath and otherwise found his bearings, Duo smiled sadly. "Man, I really miss this," he confessed softly. He threw an arm over his eyes. "We really had some good times didn't we Wu?" he asked sorrowfully.
Wufei remained quiet, but after a moment he nudged Duo, who found himself staring into gentle, black eyes. The scholar flashed the pale beauty a small, conspiratorial smile. He took a deep breath.
"If you so much as breathe a word of this to Treize, you're dead…" Wufei warned gruffly.
Slowly, Duo's eyes widened and for the first time that day a true grin brightened his face. Throwing his friend a pillow and grabbing one for himself, the singer proceeded to make himself comfortable.
"Tell all, my dear Wufei," he purred, crossing a palm over his heart. "I am the soul of discretion."
~~~
Heero was sitting in bed typing in his laptop when Zechs crawled in beside him. Gently, the blonde caressed his lover's cheek. "You're awfully quiet today," he observed softly. "Is everything alright?"
Pausing first to finish typing his sentence, Heero shrugged and logged off, shutting down the modest notebook. He seemed to want to ask something, but instead the brunette just nodded curtly. "Everything is fine."
Zechs frowned. He opened his arms in the same movement, inviting Heero into the embrace. Heero hesitated, but after a moment relented, moving into the warm circle of Zechs' arms, which the blonde immediately tightened protectively. He nuzzled Heero's damp hair. "Are you sure?" Zechs asked quietly. "You know you can talk to me about anything right?" He tilted the brunette's face up towards him when Heero didn't answer.
"Right?" he repeated, azure ayes searching deep blue.
Heero's eyes fluttered close, but he nodded. "Yes."
Milliardo was still concerned, especially knowing that Duo and his Love had had a confrontation of sorts. But realizing that it was unlikely that he would get any more information from Heero tonight he let the matter rest. When in a rare moment of tenderness Heero wrapped his arms around Zechs' waist and turned in the larger man's embrace so that he could snuggle against his chest, Zechs found himself eagerly responding.
Gently, their mouths met and what started as a lazy mating quickly built to a fever pitch. Heero's hands were tentatively exploring his body and Zechs wanted nothing so much as to lower the brunette back onto the sheets and slowly ravish him. But ignoring the heated clamoring of his body for his lover, the blonde reluctantly ended the kiss. There would be time enough for making love later, he told himself. For now, he just wanted to hold Heero. When the younger man made a questioning sound at Zechs' sudden withdrawal, the large blonde smiled. Tenderly, he kissed Heero's flushed cheek. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "Is it alright if I just hold you tonight?" Zechs asked quietly and their eyes held for a moment.
Heero's expression was unreadable as he nodded. "Okay."
-Another sweet kiss. "Thank you."
Zechs watched yearningly as Heero rose from the bed and quickly changed out of his clothes. His naked body gleamed in the lamplight, amber glow caressing muscular curves, until he reached over and shut the lights off, submerging them in darkness.
The covers shifted and Zechs felt a warm body slide under the sheets next to him. Heero was just a dim outline amidst shadows as Zechs' eyes struggled to readjust to the surroundings. He rolled over, needing the solid reassurance of his mate's body pressed against his own. Easily, his arms encircled the brunette and Heero shivered minutely, the soft movements of his lips against Zechs' neck like the brush of butterflies' wings.
It felt so wonderful - so right to be like this - with Heero's heart beating against his and his lover's soft breaths caressing his skin that Zechs pulled Heero even closer and smiled contentedly in the darkness. Softly, he nibbled on the delicate lobe of Heero's ear, teeth gently grazing and tongue sweeping upwards to hotly trace the convolutions of his ear. Tremors truly shook Heero then and he shifted in Zechs arms, making a small needy mewl of pleasure.
"I thought you said you didn't want to do this."
Zechs' laugh was husky - sensual. "I can't help it." A long, muscular thigh slid between Heero's making him gasp as Zechs' mouth lowered to suckle on the sensitive skin of the his throat. "The more I touch you, the more I can't seem to get enough of you."
Their mouths met and a pair of fevered moans echoed in the darkness. When they pulled apart they were both breathless, clinging to each other with the heated desperation of desire. Zechs groaned long and deep, roughly capturing those wonderful lips in a brief kiss. Heero's hands were swiftly moving southward over Zechs' body and when they found their treasure a hoarse cry rippled from the blonde's throat as he bucked in pleasure - his face buried in the crook of Heero's neck even as his own hands teased and caressed.
"Gods I love you," Zechs panted. He rained tiny kisses over Heero's body, punctuating each one with those three heart-bending words.
"Why?"
Raising his head Zechs stilled in the act of planting another kiss on Heero's stomach. Immediately worried, he moved to sit against the bed head and pulled Heero into is lap. The brunette's body was tense in his arms and Zechs wished he could see Heero's expression - wished he knew what had caused the sudden change in his partner. Carefully, his arms circled the slim beauty.
"Why what Love?" he breathed softly. "Why do I love you?"
There was no answer for long moments then Heero nodded. "Yes," his voice was uncertain.
Zechs sighed, convinced that this was in some way related to Heero's conversation with Heero. "Heero I don't know what you're thinking," Zechs frowned "-Or what you were told," he murmured softly. "But I love you because you're * you*" His arms tightened protectively. "-Sexy, intelligent, kind--" Zechs' shoulders moved in soft laughter. "And so impossibly thick-skulled at times that you make me want to tear my hair out." The blonde found Heero's hand and he traced the sensitive webbing between Heero's thumb and forefinger. He smiled. "And that's just the beginning."
Heero was silent, no doubt wrangling with what Zechs had just said and whatever impossible, deprecating notion he had of himself. After a while he sighed wearily, relaxing slowly in Zechs' arms.
The blonde kissed him. "Does this mean you believe me?" he asked hopefully, his heart beating hard and fast. When Heero nodded, joy surged through him and Zechs couldn't help kissing the brunette until he was breathless. He grinned. "Good. Does this mean that you feel the same way about me?" Zechs sobered. "Do you love me too?"
As soon as the words were out of the blonde's mouth he regretted them. He'd promised himself that he wouldn't pressure Heero into admitting his feelings, no matter how much his heart yearned for it - no matter how much he ached to know that Heero loved him too. But now that the words were out, he needed to know. His heart beat wildly in his chest as nervousness and fear shook him. He stood poised on the precipice of ecstasy - or numbing agony - and Zechs didn't think he could survive the latter. Not now, not after all that had happened.
Heero trembled. "I--" Desperately his fists clenched as he remembered Duo's words. He loved Zechs, he wanted to tell him, wanted to trust his own heart. The blonde had been so good to him - had shown him a life beyond grief and despair. Had given him warmth and understanding and loving that turned his bones to honey. Heero's eyes closed, his lips parted. "I-I--" Agonized, he tried to escape the other man's embrace.
"I'm sorry Zechs."
Zechs didn't think it was possible to feel such pain. Gasping, he turned away from the brunette, unaccustomed moisture pricking at his eyes. When was Heero ever going to start trusting him? When would he believe in their love enough to take the risk? -To truly open his heart to him? He was unable to speak. Silently he allowed the brunette his escape and watched as Heero lurched off the bed, stumbling through the open door to his own room.
After that Zechs couldn't see anything. He turned onto his side as the well of hot tears burst from behind his eyelids.
~~~~
Humming softly, Duo moved to the window and wistfully watched as the clouds scuttled over the moon. He listened to the night creatures calling to one another under its milky eye and he sighed. "So much for love," he thought sadly. "So much for love." Across the room, his suitcases were small, lonely shapes in the darkness.
He thought of tomorrow's trip and Duo didn't think he could sleep. Instead he sat perched at the window, staring sorrowfully out at the mated earth. Closing his eyes, he sang softly to himself, contemplated all that he had risked and all that he had lost.
And his low, mournful tune swelled, filling the lonely night.