Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Behind Blue Eyes ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

BEHIND BLUE EYES

PART FIVE

* * *

The doors to the Emergency Room burst violently open, swinging wildly from side to side. Duo rushed into the ER, a haunted expression on his pale features. His hair was disheveled from running; long bangs tousled as he rushed down the hallway. His wide violet eyes scanned the waiting room, shifting hastily from one corner to another.

He spotted Heero sitting on a chair in the corner of the waiting room, huddled into himself. He was sitting with his heels resting on the chair, his knees drawn up to his chest. He was hugging his legs, his forehead pressed to his kneecaps, making him look like a small and miserable human ball. An ominous and melancholic cloud was hovering over the young man, raining invisible drops of anguish on his slumped form. Duo's heart ached at the sight, bleeding slowly into his ribcage.

He slowed his approach and took careful steps towards his lover. He stood before him, his features full of compassion as he looked down at the solemn young man. Heero didn't look up from where he was staring at the floor. His head was bowed, his numb blue eyes gazing dully at Duo's shoes.

"Heero." Duo called softly, trying to gain his attention. Heero didn't look up, so with a long sigh, Duo took a seat next to him. The two sat silently together, both looking at thin air. The silence stretched between them like a chasm. There were so many things Duo wanted to say, to ask, to know, but the words didn't come. Heero's silence rendered his own mouth speechless. All he could do was sit there and stare at the floor. He took a long moment to study his dark brown boots, and reached a half-hearted conclusion that they were butt-ugly. He shifted his eyes to look at Heero's white sneakers, and frowned. The two of them needed to do some serious shopping.

Sighing, he shook his head a little and closed his eyes. This was not the time to let his mind drift. He had to make Heero speak. There was a reason he rushed out of class in the middle of an important lecture. His Biology Professor will never forgive him for it, but Heero came first. When he heard his lover's shaking voice on the phone, his heart broke. Between sniffling, Heero asked him if he could come to the local hospital. He actually asked, as if the answer wasn't obvious.

Duo sighed and tilted his head back, looking up at the blinding florescent lights on the ceiling. He gazed dully at the ceiling, simply letting time tick by.

"She's dying." Heero finally whispered. His voice was numb, like he was commenting about something as trivial as the weather. Duo knew that he was in shock. He knew his lover too well. If the emotional blow was too much to deal with, he would just cut the cord connecting his heart to his body. He would shut the flood of emotion flowing through his veins and live on facts only. Cold logic would take over, slowly turning pain into plain and numb acceptance.

He wasn't going to let Heero do that. If he was in pain, he had to deal with it. No more running away. Heero made so much progress from his old, emotionally-cut-off self, and Duo wasn't going to sit back and watch him close his heart again.

"What did the doctors say?" He asked, forcing Heero to deal with it, to speak about it.

Heero sighed heavily, hugging his knees tighter. "It's cancer. Leukemia."

Duo winced. Leukemia. One of the few types of cancer the After Colony science was unable to cure. The dreaded Blood-Cancer was still an incurable disease that caused many casualties and pain.

Realization slowly dawned on him. His eyes widened in horror. "So all those times when she wasn't home..."

"Chemotherapy." Heero muttered, "She's been doing it for the past five months." His tone was cold, calculated. Speaking plain facts with no emotional attachment. Even though Duo knew that Heero was deeply hurt from being lied to, from being left out of the picture. He felt betrayed, tormenting himself with many painful questions. Why didn't Nora tell him? Wasn't he important enough? Didn't he matter?

Duo knew that Heero was answering all of his questions wrongly. He had to make him snap out of it, before the next blow will hit. And considering the two of them were sitting by the Intensive Care Unit, the next blow was soon to come.

"Shit." He cursed, looking away with a wince. The situation was grimmer than he had initially thought.

"She refused to receive treatment up until now." Heero mumbled into his knees, his head still bowed. "She wanted to die, Duo. She just... she wanted to die."

Heero's voice faltered, breaking with tears. Slowly but surely, his emotionless act dissolved into nothing. He couldn't shut out the tears. They came whether he wanted them or not. Duo could see him struggle to cut-off the emotional tidal wave, but failing miserably. His heart clenched painfully at the sight. Heero was trying so hard to be strong, but his heart wouldn't let him anymore. In a way, giving in to his emotions only made Heero look stronger. He wasn't afraid to cry anymore.

"I... I think about it, and it hurts. It hurts so much, because I... I know what it's like... seeking death in every opportunity. Feeling too obliged to living so you can't take your own life, but yet... jumping at the opportunity to die."

He turned to look up at Duo, his expression tormented. His blue eyes were large and vulnerable, a hot stream of tears leaking down his cheeks.

"She was in so much pain; all this time... there was so much pain in her heart, Duo... I could never ease it. No matter what I did."

"Heero, that's not true. I think you are the reason she chose to start chemotherapy. She wanted to live for you."

Heero sniffled, a flicker of doubt crossing his already confused features. "Then why didn't she tell me about it? I could have... I could have been there for her..."

"I don't know the answer to that, Heero. Only Nora does."

Heero sighed, looking away. "I know..."

"Mr. Yuy?" A timid voice called softly, as a young doctor came to stand in front of the two.

Heero looked up and hurried to stand on his feet. He wiped his tears away hastily, and turned to face the doctor. Duo got up as well and stood next to him. He placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Both young men turned anxious eyes at the doctor.

The young physician looked down at his notepad, leafing briefly through his notes. "We have your blood test results." He said, his soft brown eyes apologetic when he looked up at Heero.

Duo frowned in confusion. He turned to Heero with a questioning look. "What blood test?"

Heero sighed, casting his gaze down. "Nora needs a bone marrow transplant. I asked them to check if I'm suitable for a donation." He looked up at the doctor again, his gaze piercing. "We're incompatible, aren't we?"

The doctor's face covered with compassion. "I'm sorry, Mr. Yuy, but while your blood type does match your mother's, your bone marrow doesn't."

Heero's body stilled. He forze like a statue, his breath caught in his throat. Duo felt his lover tense, and tightened his hold around his shoulder. He turned to the doctor with an apologetic smile.

"There must be some mistake," he said slowly, "She is not his mother."

The doctor frowned, and looked down at his notes. "Are you sure?" he asked, leafing through his paperwork, "Because according to our tests results..." he turned another page, scanning it briefly, "...the DNA is a match." Closing, his notepad, he looked up at the two, his gaze confused. "Did I check the wrong patient?"

Duo whirled his head around to look at Heero. The young man was still frozen like stone. His expression was a frozen mask of shock and confusion. His eyes were unfocused, staring somewhere beyond the doctor.

"No, there's no mistake." Duo let out with a sigh, turning back to the confused physician. "She is his mother."

While he still seemed confused, the doctor nodded once and then left, mumbling a small "I'm sorry."

Duo didn't tear his eyes off Heero, studying his shocked features with great concern.

"Heero, are you all right?" He asked carefully, placing a gentle hand over his lover's limp palm. Heero's arms were dangling lifelessly at his side, his fists clenched and trembling ever so slightly. He was gazing far ahead, a numb and distant look in his eyes. His lips slowly moved as he mumbled, "I... I need to sit down."

"Sure." Duo complied, guiding Heero gently towards the small plastic chair. Heero's movements were stiff and slow. His dazed blue eyes were unfocused even when he moved to sit down. He didn't look where he was going, trusting Duo's hands to guide him safely. When he was finally seated, his body making contact with the cold plastic chair, he flinched, blinking. A few tears that were flooding his eyes were swept away by his long eyelashes. He took a trembling breath, his back shaking, and buried his face in his hands.

Duo watched as his lover bent forward, curling into himself, hiding his face in his hands. He listened as Heero drew long deep breaths, trying to calm down. He rubbed his back soothingly, trying to ease the small trembles that trailed up and down Heero's back. He leaned his head carefully atop of Heero's, raising another hand to caress the soft brown hair. Inhaling deeply, he closed his eyes and took a moment to just drown in Heero's scent.

"Shush..." he whispered softy, running his hand gently through Heero's fine hair, "Shhh..."

"She... she knew..." Heero mumbled into his hands, his voice breaking with tremors. "She lied to me..."

"Heero, please..." Duo begged, "don't torment yourself over this. It's not--"

"She's my mother, Duo." Heero cut in, his voice harder than before, his gaze intense.

Confused, Duo pulled back and looked at Heero, waiting for him to speak. He watched as Heero slowly put his arms down, and raised his head. He turned to face Duo, his blue eyes burning fiercely despite the tears that slid down his cheeks. Heero closed his eyes slowly, and when he opened them again they were suddenly full of wonder. The sudden change was shocking to watch, causing Duo to blink as well. He looked at Heero, his gaze astonished, as the Japanese boy's lips lifted slowly in a smile. His blue eyes sparkled when he looked at Duo and said, "I have a mother."

Duo didn't know how to respond, his lover was obviously in a state of shock, so the only response he could think of was to smile back. It faltered.

* * *

Heero walked into Nora's hospital room, slowly closing the door behind him. He took a moment to just breathe, before he turned around to face the room. The sight revealed to him was not a pleasant one at all. Nora was lying slumped on the bed, looking paler than the sheets themselves. The thin blue sheets cascaded over her body in gentle folds, lingering to her form like a second skin. They traced her figure, the gentle curves of her body, which made her look so small and fragile. She looked like a corpse, lying under the pale blue sheets.

Heero swallowed and forced his numb feet to step forward. He made his way slowly to the bed, his breath catching in his throat when he finally reached her bedside. Looking down at her, his eyes filled with tears once more.

She was paler than she had been the night before, dark bags under her eyes. She appeared to be sleeping, her eyes closed so that her gentle eyelashes kissed her cheeks. Her eyes seemed large and swollen, too big all of a sudden. Her lush brown hair was gathered in a thick braid, which lay sprawled over her shoulder, reaching as far down as her knees. The lush brown color looked out of place in the sea of pale blue, white and gray. It was almost surreal. He reached down to brush the tip of his fingers over the length of her thick braid. He wanted to make sure that it was still there.

Nora moaned lightly, her face contracting in pain. Heero's heart skipped a beat and he withdrew his hand. He turned to watch her face again, his blood-shot eyes taking her sight again, in small doses because it was too much to watch. He noted that a few stray hairs obscured her features, touching her nose and cheeks. Her pale lips were parched, slightly open to draw breath. There was an oxygen tube under her nose, and when he looked down he spotted an IV needle sneaking under her skin.

His legs were shaking, he felt as if he was about to collapse. He reached for a small wooden chair that stood by the bed and drew it closer. It made a loud creaking sound as its legs scrapped over the floor. The sound was too loud in the deathly silence, it made Heero flinch. He sat down carefully, trying not to make any more noise.

With a faltering breath, he turned back to face the bed. His eyes were drawn to where Nora's pale and slender fingers were lying limply against the blue covers. He reached a hesitant hand for hers, carefully taking the fragile palm into his own hand. His sad blue eyes relished lengthily in the sight of their hands entwined. His callous bronze skin mixed with her pale and smooth one. His hand was slightly bigger than hers. He could remember a time when his hand was so small that it could still fit perfectly into his mother's palm. It was one of those few childhood images that lingered to his brain, the way his mommy held his hand, how his small palm looked when it was swallowed by those larger, gentle, loving fingers. How those same fingers caressed him gently, tracing his face, playing with his hair.

His hold tightened around Nora's fragile palm. It was this hand. It was Nora's hand. His mother's hand. Those were the same fingers, the same feeling he got when they touched him, tracing over his face. They always trailed over his features, always trying to create an image of him somehow. His eyes flooded with more tears at the realization. The pearly tears slid down to his lashes and lingered there when he realized that Nora never saw his face. His mother didn't know what he looked like.

He sniffled, turning away from her as he closed his eyes, willing the tears to stop. A sudden movement of Nora's fingers made him halt in his attempt. He felt her fingers curl tightly around his hand, and sniffling, he turned to face her.

Those blind blue eyes were looking straight at him, full of love and compassion. She was awake, and she was smiling at him.

"Shh, Heero... please don't cry." She whispered soothingly, her voice hoarse and rough with sickness. She squeezed his hand tightly, slightly rocking it from side to side.

Heero chuckled, or perhaps sobbed, coughing out a bitter sound. How could she always tell what he felt? What he was thinking? How did she know?

He took a moment to relax and calm his breathing, until he finally looked up at her. Through a blurry screen of tears, he asked, "You know?"

Nora's smile faltered a bit, and she nodded slowly. "Yes." She let out weakly, turning away from him to face the other way. "I've known for a while now."

It took him a few moments to absorb the information. It was a while before he was able to speak over the lump in his throat. His heart ached badly. "Since when?"

Nora sighed, closing her eyes sadly. Her hold on his hand did not lose its strength though. It tightened. "I've known about the cancer for over a year," she said, sighing, "and about you..." She smiled, finally turning to face him. "I think I always knew, somehow... or at least, I wished that it was so." She let out a bitter chuckle, shaking her head slightly. "No, that's absurd, isn't it? How could I have known? But still, when you told me about your dreams... I didn't need anymore confirmation."

He was confused, and hurt. Maybe even scared. He fought to keep his hands from trembling, though he knew that she could sense it anyway. Leaning back in his seat, he took a few long breaths, trying to keep himself from suffocating with anguish, anger and confusion. Most of all there was confusion. Why didn't she tell him if she knew?

"Why deny it? Why didn't you tell me when I asked you?" He asked, his voice hurt and he wasn't trying to hide it. He will hide nothing from her, he hardly ever did. It hurt to know that she kept so many things hidden from him. He felt so unworthy of her, so worthless in aiding her. While she was healing his heart for the past year, he was only adding to her pain. He was a shameful son. A mother's nightmare.

His fist clenched tightly around her hand. She didn't even wince. Instead, she reached another, trembling, hand and laid it gently over their two palms. She caressed his palm softly, her fingers trailing up and down his slender wrist, lightly petting his forearm.

"Heero," she whispered quietly, her voice shaking with unborn tears, "I knew that I was dying and I... didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want you to lose me again."

Anger. He didn't know where it came from, or why. He was angry all of a sudden. He wanted to grab her roughly and shake some sense into her. Her thinking was twisted! It was more distorted than his own!

"What difference does it make?!" He hissed angrily, yanking his hand out of her grasp. "I'm losing you as it is! Does it really matter if you are my mother or not?! It makes no difference to me! Why didn't you tell me about the cancer?! Dammit, Nora! Why didn't you... don't you trust me?"

The anger dissolved. He didn't have the strength to be angry. He didn't really think that he should be. He was wrong for bursting at her like that. He couldn't help it; he hoped that she understood that. There were so many emotions inside him right now, he felt as if his heart was about to burst. It hurt so much, that inner turmoil, he wanted to cry and scream and laugh at the same time. He was too exhausted to do any of it.

Sighing heavily, he slumped back into his seat, burying his face in his hands. "I could have been there for you... I wanted to... I've always wanted to be there for you, as you were there for me..." He mumbled, his voice muffled for he was speaking into his palms. His voice was shaking with tears again. Damn, traitorous liquid. It never stopped pouring out of his eyes. The more pain pumped through his heart and into his veins, the more salty tears he poured. His heart grew soft over the past year. It didn't take pain too well; it didn't hold the capacity to hold it in anymore. It hurt so much...

"I'm sorry..." He cried, shaking his head slowly as more tears poured into his hands. "I never knew what to say or do, Nora... I... I wanted to... I wanted you to be able to depend on me, like I do on you... I'm sorry... I... I let you down... I'm so sorry..."

"Heero." Nora spoke, sitting up. Her voice was surprisingly strong, harsh even. It left no room for arguments. Sniffling, Heero slowly took his arms down, and looked at her. Fat tears were still sliding down his cheeks, and his blue eyes were shimmering under the florescent light of the room. Nora's blue eyes were directed straight at him again. She knew him so well she could always guess where to point her blind gaze. Her gaze was intense, her blue eyes burning fiercely despite their blindness. Heero couldn't help but feel that she was angry with him. This is it. This is when she tells him she is ashamed to have him as a son. Such a worthless, shameful, useless son.

"Heero, I'm the one at wrong here." She said with a sigh, bowing her head in shame and slumping her shoulders. Her hands were lying limply over her lap, which made her look like a rebuked child.

"I thought... I thought I could get over it, somehow. I didn't want to worry you, Heero. You have enough on your mind as it is." She admitted shamefully, closing her eyes and shaking her head. "I guess it's part of my nature. I always want to be the strong one, I always want to prove myself, even if it's only to myself." She sighed, and turned to face him again, opening a pair of tearful blue eyes. "I'm so sorry, Heero. I'm the one who should be apologizing. I wanted to tell you so many times, but then I though... why trouble you? Why torment you further? I can get through this... somehow... I really thought that I could get over it."

Again that tight ball of anger, deep in the pits of his stomach. "Get over it?! Nora, this is not the flew we are talking about! This is cancer! Dammit, Nora! You are so stubborn!" One minute he was crying and the next he was shouting. He felt drained.

And now she was smiling at him, a hint of amusement was sparkling weakly in her eyes. "At least you know where you got your own stubbornness from."

He wanted to be angry again, but he couldn't. He found himself smiling slightly, and then shaking his head in a rebuking way. "This is not funny. I'm not laughing." He muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose as his lover often did in such a situation.

"No... no you're not." She mumbled, turning away.

Silence fell, and settled for a while. It was so quiet Heero could hear the low humming of the florescent lights, along with the natural background noise of the hospital life. He wondered if Duo was doing okay in the waiting room. He hoped he wasn't worrying his lover too much. Just this weekend the three of them were sitting by the dinner table at Nora's apartment, enjoying a friendly board game after a quiet dinner. Duo paired with Nora (to help her due to her blindness) and the two played against him. They won and he moped, and all in all they had a great time. There was a smile on his face the whole evening. It felt as if it had been over an eternity ago, but the memory did manage to calm him. He took a deep breath, and turned back to Nora. To his... to his mother.

He wanted to try and say it. Could he really? Should he? Maybe just once, to taste it on his lips. Just once...

With a faltering breath, he reached for her hand again, cupping her palm with both of his. He turned to look at her, leaning closer to the bed. She turned her head to face him, her expression confused.

"Heero?"

He tried to say it, but it didn't come out. His mouth was dry. He licked his lips and tried again. "M-mother." He said, and it felt so terribly awkward. Misplaced. The term didn't belong, didn't apply here. It felt alien on his lips, like he had never called anyone by that title.

Nevertheless, Nora smiled, her amusement clearly showing. She flipped her hand over to return his hold, squeezing his hand lightly. "Oh, Heero," she called in sympathy, "you don't have to force yourself to call me that. I understand." She smiled, and bent forward to kiss his forehead. The touch of her lips was still warm, like he knew a mother's kiss should be. "I don't think I can start calling you Hikari. Even if you are my son... you're Heero now. This is what your life had shaped you into. I'm not going to change that."

He smiled back for some reason, relieved. "It would be quite a hassle to change my name after finally acquiring a citizenship." He joked, surprised by how his mood lightened. She had this affect on him, this woman. She always made his heart feel lighter, no matter how grave the situation was. Was that what being someone's son felt like? Was this what it felt like to be by your mother's side? Yes. Yes it did. To him, at least.

"Besides," she added with a smirk too much like his own, "you never called me 'mother'. You didn't speak a word of English when you were little!" she chuckled, as if caressed by a pleasant memory. "Hayashi and I spoke Japanese at home, and that's what we taught you. We agreed on teaching you English when you turned three... it's an excellent age to learn new languages." Her shoulders slumped all of a sudden, and her cheerful tone slowly faded. Sadness was shining in her eyes again. "I guess... I guess you learned on your own..." She mumbled sadly, bowing her head in order to hide her tears.

Heero suddenly realized that he had only seen her cry once. While he had shed many tears on her shoulder, this was only the second time he had seen her cry. His heart was filled with pain and admiration for this woman. She was so strong and yet... she was always so alone. He ached to take her pain away, absorb it all into him with a hug. He climbed on the bed and wrapped his arms around her, pulling the shaking woman into a warm embrace. He guided her head to rest on his shoulder, and pressed his cheek to the top of her head. He inhaled the scent of her hair into his lungs, and let her pour all of her misery into him. He held her tightly as she cried, wrapping her arms around him also. She clung to him tightly; locking her arms around his waist in a powerful, desperate, grip.

She began apologizing between sobs, choking out incoherent apologies as she cried. She apologized for not being there for him, saying she was sorry for all the pain he'd been through, for all the horrors he had seen. She cried harder and harder as she began to bring up events of his past, bits and pieces of what he had told her about the training, the war, the pain. She apologized for each and every one of those times. For each time he suffered and she was not there.

Heero kept silent, looking ahead numbly as he listened to her cry and remind him of each painful experience, each time another part of his soul was torn away and shattered. It didn't hurt when he thought about it. There was just numb acceptance. It was in the past, he was healed. Thanks to her, he was healed. So at some point he stopped listening and just stroked her hair, his fingers toying with the tip of her long, thick, braid. He closed his eyes and let himself sink into the sensations around him. Her warm body, the sound of her silent whimpering, the feeling of her warm tears soaking his dark blue shirt. The softness of her hair, the thick width of her braid. It was much thicker than Duo's. It had a completely different feeling to it. It was softer somehow, warmer in some bizarre way. It felt heavy between his fingers, such a pleasantly familiar weight in his hand. A memory suddenly came to him, and he smiled. He remembered when his hand was so small he couldn't wrap it around the entire diameter of her braid.

Opening his eyes, he drew back a little so he could bend his head and kiss her hair. He placed a gentle kiss at the top of her head. She sniffled loudly and raised her head up. He offered another kiss to her forehead and then gently parted with her.

"I'm okay." He whispered, looking down into her eyes. "I made it out okay." He repeated, watching her tearful eyes shimmer in uncertainty. "Don't feel sorry for my hardship. None of it was your fault." He assured her, his voice warm and gentle as he spoke.

Her lips trembled, she was about to speak. He silenced her with his finer.

"No." he whispered, "We will not discuss this. It is not open for discussion." He carefully got off the bed and helped her lie down. "I want you to sleep, Nora. You exhausted yourself." He tucked her in, raising the pale blue blanket up and covering her gently. She lay silently, simply letting him tend to her. There were a few more tears sliding silently down her cheeks, but her eyes were clearer now, focused and bright. They were looking straight at him again, as if able to see him somehow. She was looking up at him like a curious child.

Heero bent down and kissed her forehead. "Goodnight." He whispered, while holding her hand gently. "I'm going to have a few words with your doctor and then come back. Try to get some sleep." He was about to let go of her hand and walk away; when he felt her fingers curl tightly around him. Confused, he turned back to her. "I'll be back." He promised, trying to sooth her.

But she wasn't distressed. She was smiling. Her intense blue eyes were looking at him brightly. And that smile... it lighted her face even more. "You're so handsome..." She whispered blissfully, tears flooding her eyes. "Just like your father..." Her hand went limp in his grasp, and she was asleep. Heero continued standing there for a few more moments, completely dazed.

* * *

For the following weeks, Heero didn't get to see much of the world outside the hospital. He was always by Nora's side, through chemotherapy sessions, doctor examinations, or simply sitting by her hospital bed while she slept. The medical staff in the ward had learned fairly quickly that the visiting hours did not apply to him. All they had to see was the look in his eyes and that was enough to suggest that the young man should be left alone, by his mother's side. He fed her when she was too weak to move, and he cleaned after her when she was too nauseous to eat. He read to her to pass the time, and held her hand when pain attacked her in the middle of the night.

He asked her to tell him about her past, for he never grew tired of it. He asked many questions, about his father, what was he like and how the two of them met. He asked about his grandparents, about both sides of the family. He asked about her life after his supposed death and the loss of her husband. He wanted to know everything.

When she was too tired to speak, it was his turn to talk. He would talk about the lighter memories he had from his life. Of the way Odin Lowe used to play hide-and-seek with him sometimes, and about the time when he taught him how to read. He told her about the first time he saw his Gundam and was stunned by the sheer size of it that he froze in his spot and couldn't move. And about the nights he spent on the road with Trowa and his circus, how he met many bizarre and interesting people there. He told her about the forming of his friendship with Duo, and about the only time he ever danced with a girl.

She would lie slumped in her bed, eyes closed, but listening to his every word. She would smile when she noted that he was speaking of a particularly sweet memory, and she would tense when he told something suspenseful, like a certain battle or a mission he thought he'd never live through.

Duo came to visit from time to time, each time carrying a present for her and Heero as well. He brought many amusing gizmos; silly toys and gadgets she could play with, using only her fingers for you didn't need the gift of sight to enjoy such silly gifts. Sometimes he brought Heero a book or a box of chocolates, maybe even a silly gift like a slinky or a little Transformer™ action figure. Anything to make the two of them smile. He would sit with them for a few hours, sometimes keeping Nora company while Heero went home for a few hours to shower and get some shuteye. He was spending most of his time in the hospital, getting little sleep in insufficient nutrition.

The University began sending him notices by mail after about two months of his absence. They queried about his health and reminded him, more than a few times, that he had finales coming up. When he missed the first test, he got another notice, and then another and another. They began sending him warnings that he will not be applied for the next semester and he will lose his post-military scholarship. Duo was kind enough to go take care of things for Heero, and after a long session with the dean it was agreed that Heero would be able to take the exams in a later occasion.

All in all Heero was keeping his act together somehow. He lived from one moment to another, dreading the mere thought of what will come next. He escorted Nora into chemo, waited until it was over and then the two somehow made it through the rest of the day. He became used to the routine, as much as it hurt him to admit it. He could hardly remember anything else but green walls and pale blue sheets. When his lover came to visit, it looked so unreal. Duo's bright and cheerful personality didn't fit into his world anymore. It was like a fleeting dream, coming in and out every now and then. And so it happened that as time went by and Nora slowly lost her health and good looks, Heero's humanity also began to fade. On some days, he looked like nothing more of his own shadow.

He reached his breaking point on the day the doctor informed him that they shaved Nora's hair off. His mother's hair had been molting rapidly, and she asked them to shave it off. The doctor warned Heero of the sudden change before the young man entered Nora's hospital room. Duo, who was standing behind Heero, watched his lover's face in concern. Heero's pale and haggard features didn't seem the slightest bit affected by the doctor's words. He simply accepted it with a curt nod, and walked into the room.

His resolve died the moment he saw her small, white, bald head resting against the pillow. Her eyes looked even larger now, sunken deeply into her skull. He held on for as long as he could before he ran out of the room and straight into Duo's arms. He collapsed onto his lover and wept like a child, his entire figure shaking as Duo held him tight. It took a few more efforts and Duo's arms around him to help him walk back to Nora's bedside. It was from that day on that Heero's Prussian blue eyes were always filled with tears.

Duo couldn't bear to see his lover like this anymore. He would stand there, leaning against the door in Nora's hospital room, and watch his lover sit slumped on a chair by her bed, holding her hand. His back was always bent, his head bowed and his shoulders slumped. He was a shadow of his old self, the strong, proud and hopeful young man who used to smile at him each time they met. A smile that would bring a rosy shade to his cheeks and a bright light to his beautiful eyes. There was only gray, black and white in Heero's features. He always looked tired, famished and miserable. He rarely ate, he never seemed to sleep for more than an hour or two, and his eyes were always tearful. He resembled a ghost, mourning over its lost life.

Duo could take it no more. Not that he blamed Heero for being in such a gloom. He imagined he would be the same if he would gain and lose someone he loves at the same day. But it still hurt to see his lover so down. Heero was not taking care of himself, and it was unacceptable in Duo's eyes. So after three months, Duo decided he had enough. Instead of bearing gifts on his visit, he came and announced, to both Heero and Nora, that he is taking Heero home, to get some rest.

Nora didn't argue. She nodded slowly, her eyes thankful. Duo gathered that she understood his motives, and she agreed with them. Heero needed to be out of the hospital for a while.

Heero protested of course, claiming to be "just fine". Duo didn't bother with arguing. He ordered Heero to get out of the room and walk with him to the car. His tone left no room for arguments, he meant business. Heero was rendered speechless by the intense look in his lover's eyes. He was too tired to argue anyway. Like with anything else he had done lately, he simply accepted. Without a word, he got off his creaky chair, forcing his cramped muscles to follow Duo into the car.

When they arrived to his apartment, Heero noted thankfully that his sofa/bed was made and the apartment was clean. Duo had been taking care of things, as always. He headed straight to bed, not even showering, and collapsed on top of the thick mattress. He inhaled the clean smell of the fresh sheets, taking their scent deeply into his lungs. He had gotten used to sheets that smelled of antiseptic and sickness. The smell of Lavender Laundry Softener was a welcomed change.

Closing his eyes, he kicked his shoes off using only his feet, and then buried himself under the sweetly cool covers. It was summer time and the air was hot. The hospital was always cooled by the scentless air conditioning, but here in his apartment there was only the cool breeze that entered through the main window. It carried the scent of flowers into the apartment as it brushed over Heero with a caress.

"How long has it been since you last slept?" Duo's bittersweet voice reached his ears from somewhere behind.

With his eyes still closed, he mumbled into the pillow, "...about sixty hours..."

"Christ." Duo muttered, shaking his head as he walked over to the sofa/bed. "Go to sleep, Heero."

"I'm so tired, I can't fall asleep." Heero slurred tiredly into his pillow, his words coming out more like a moan than a sentence.

Duo climbed on the bed. "Bullshit. You're already half asleep." He said softly, lying down next to Heero. He laid his head on the pillow next to Heero's, and since his lover was sprawled gracelessly over %85 of the bed, he had to curl at the edge of the small mattress. He sighed and turned his gaze towards Heero, studying the way the light from the window touched Heero's bangs, which lay sprawled all over his face and pillow. Some long bangs reached as far down as his mouth, and they moved up and down when Heero mumbled that, "I'll have nightmares."

Duo's heart clenched in pain for a moment, before he reached a hand down between their bodies, and took Heero's limp hand in his. "No you won't. I'm here." He assured him with a soothing whisper, using his thumb to caress Heero's inner palm.

Heero remained motionless, lying heavily against the mattress as his body relaxed. His eyes were still closed, obscured by his bangs. His dry lips slightly parted after a moment or two. Duo was certain that he fell asleep, so he closed his eyes and allowed himself to relax we well.

"Does it bother you that we..." Heero suddenly spoke, his voice heavy with sleep, "that we only had sex once?"

Duo opened his eyes, a shade of confusion trailing like a cloud over his violet eyes. "What do you mean?" He asked, unsure.

Heero sighed, shrugging his shoulders briefly against the mattress. His eyes were still closed. "We've been together for nearly eight months, and we only made love to each other once." His voice was more coherent now, which suggested how important the topic was for him. He opened his eyes, and looked straight into Duo's. "I want to know if it bothers you."

Duo was still stunned by the question, so it took him a moment to respond. When he finally did, he smiled. His eyes shone warmly as he looked at Heero with a kind smile. "No, Heero. It doesn't bother me. I guess it just... makes it more special."

Heero frowned, small wrinkles forming on his forehead, where his messy bangs allowed one to actually see it. "But other couples..."

"We're not other couples, we're us." Duo cut in before Heero could finish what he was saying. "And we do whatever suits us." His smile grew, and he squeezed Heero's hand, which he was still holding. He bent forward to kiss Heero gently on the lips, and then turned to look deeply into his tired blue eyes. "I understand that you are not in the mood for this right now, and to be honest, neither am I." He gave Heero another quick kiss on the nose. "Now don't trouble yourself with this any further and go to sleep, all right?" He added another little kiss just for good measure and then returned to lie against his own pillow.

Heero smiled, his eyes shining with gratitude. He didn't say another word, simply closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

* * *

Duo only managed to sleep for a total of five hours. When he woke up, Heero was still sound asleep, snoring softly into his pillow. After a while of just gazing adoringly at him, Duo got up and began tending the apartment. When he was done cleaning, he went out on some errands, buying their weekly groceries, doing the laundry and the likes. He then came back to shower and change into Heero's blue/white/pink uniforms. He made sure that Heero was sleeping deeply and then silently left the apartment.

He took the bus to the diner where Heero worked and greeted Malcolm on the way in. He then did what he had been doing for each week for the past three months, without Heero's knowing. He covered for him at work. He felt bad for hiding this from Heero, but he knew that his lover would never let him do it any other way. He would feel bad for having Duo do things for him. Only that Duo did it gladly, he knew how much Heero needed the money. He decided to tell Heero about this when it was all over. Hopefully he will understand.

When his six-hours shift was done, Duo bid his farewell to his temporary boss and fellow worker, and made his way out of the diner. On the way home he stopped by the university and began searching for Heero's lecturers from each and ever course, as well as a few classmates he knew shared a certain course with Heero. They all knew the routine and what Duo came for. He was there to photocopy their notes and gather new assignments from the various doctors and professors.

He'd been doing this for a while now, ever since he had that talk with the dean regarding Heero's scholarship. One of the terms were that if Heero did not attend any lectures, hand in assignments and take the exams, he should at least keep himself in the loop and catch up with his classes every now and then. He had all the assignments due at the end of the next semester, or he will not be allowed to continue his studying. Duo hoped that Heero would be able to catch up with everything until then.

After about two hours of roaming the university halls and library, Duo paid a short visit to his dorm. He took an hour to simply rest, then did some reading on a few texts he had to go through. Without another wasted second, he packed an overnight bag, throwing various things into a large duffle. He had all of his necessities at Heero's apartment, but the bag he was packing now had a different purpose. Duo Maxwell had a certain plan in mind.

When he arrived back to Heero's place, Duo shoved his heavy duffle into the trunk of his car, which he left parked by Heero's building. He entered the small apartment and found that his lover was still asleep, as he had been for the last fifteen hours. Sighing heavily, Duo set to work to make dinner. He was sure that Heero would wake up soon, and he would be hungry. His lover hadn't been eating properly for a few weeks now, and he set his mind on making him a large, notorious meal.

He worked hard, cutting vegetables, boiling rice, stirring the soup. His feet ached after a long day, but he allowed himself no rest. It was his way of hiding and running. He worked hard and left himself no room for thinking. No time to collapse. If he just kept going, a little longer, by and by, somehow he'll make it. Just keep going. Don't think. Just keep going. It was the same during the war and the same applied for his entire life. Just keep going. Keep busy. Don't think. Keep running. Keep running. He had to be strong. Just a little longer and it will be over. Just a little longer.

His movements were brutal as he used a large knife to chop some pieces of beef. His hands moved hastily as he threw it in a wok and stirred it. The silent apartment was filled with the sound of cooking. The sizzling and crackling of various foods. The silence was beginning to bother him, but he didn't want to turn the radio on and wake Heero. The boy needed his sleep. So he worked quietly, trying to tell himself that those were not tears in his eyes. It was that damn onion.

But when he was done cooking, he found himself sitting by the miniature kitchen table, with barely enough room for one, surrounded by silence. There was nothing left to do. He did everything he could think of. And now, sitting here alone, in silence, he had no choice but to admit that those were indeed tears stinging his eyes. He didn't even use onion!

He sat slumped in a small plastic chair, completely powerless to stop the tears rolling down his cheeks. He was exhausted; lying sprawled on the chair like a rag doll, shedding silent tears. In his hands, he held a few small pieces of paper, torn out of a yellow notepad. They were recopies. Recipes written in Nora's neat and stylish handwriting. A blind woman's writing. It made him cry even harder as he clutched the papers tightly. They only reminded him of how strong she was, how similar to Heero she was. She never gave up. She never let life beat her down. She was blind, yes, but that didn't stop her from writing these recipes for Heero. She was so strong in everything she did. And now... now she was... she was dying... she was losing that strength so quickly... so ungracefully. It hurt him so much to think about it. And as she withered away, Heero withered as well. It made Duo cry even harder.

He curled into himself, folding his body on the chair and buried his face between his knees. He began to sob quietly, each sob like a restrained cough. He was trying to keep silent, he didn't want to wake Heero, but it was hard to keep the sobs away. The tears overwhelmed him. He never cries, he just runs and hides. No. It was a good time to cry. He should cry now, before Heero awakes. He had to cry now, so he could be stronger later on. He had to be strong. Strong for Heero. Heero needed him right now. And the only way for him to get stronger is to help Heero be strong. If he will help Heero, he will help himself. It was better to cry now. Tomorrow he had plans of smiling, because tomorrow, he was going to make Heero smile. They'll keep each other strong that way. The way they always do.

* * *

That evening, before Heero woke up from his long sleep, Duo went to visit Nora. With a heavy sigh, he walked into Nora's hospital room and closed the door behind him.

"Heero?" Her tired voice reached his ears even before he turned away from the door. He took two steps forward and opened his mouth, about to tell her whom he was. She beat him to it.

"Duo. What are you doing here? Where's Heero?"

Duo halted, and bowed his head down so he could look at his shoes. A brand new pair of black & white Nikes™. He bought them two days ago. How could she recognize his footsteps so quickly? With a frown, he shook that thought away and walked over to the bed.

"I ordered him to stay home and rest." He explained in a quite voice, pulling out a chair so he could sit by her bed.

"Has he eaten anything? He hardly ever eats anymore." Nora asked, rolling over to lie on her side so she could face him. Duo did his best to ignore her bald head, and nodded his head slowly. After a moment, he reconsidered and provided a verbal answer.

"I've become quite handy around the kitchen." He tried to say as lightly as possible, though his voice still came out bitter, even to his own ears. "And I always threaten to shove my cooking down his throat if he doesn't eat willingly."

Nora chuckled, and then coughed. "You two are such a strange couple." She smiled at him, her eyes shining weakly. "You're perfect for each other."

Duo cleared his throat in a nervous gesture and hurried to turn his blushing face away from her intense blind eyes. He looked over the small table by her bed, and then down at a small bag he had brought in with him. "Would you like me to read for you?" He asked as he pulled a book out of his bag.

"Sure, I'd like that." She said, closing her eyes and settling more comfortably into her bed. "I love the sound of your voice."

Again he was blushing. She had the unique talent of embarrassing him to the point where he wanted to bury his head in the ground. Like that one time when she asked him (while Heero was nowhere around them) who was the dominant one in their relationship. He nearly had a nosebleed then!

"Which book have you got for me this time?" She asked, already eager to know. Duo had a great taste in books; she always enjoyed the books he picked. She closed her eyes and relaxed her aching body; opening her mind in anticipation for the flow of images his amiable voice will bring to her mind. He had just the right tone and manner to tell stories. His reading could truly make a book come to life.

Opening a thick book, Duo cleared his throat and then read the title. "The Never-ending Story, by Michael Ende."

Nora giggled silently, opening her eyes. "A children's book?!"

Duo scowled at her. "It is not a children's book. Far from it." He protested, waving a finger at her. "Besides, I recommended this book to Heero a while ago and he happened to like it. A lot."

"All right, all right." Nora said, still smiling. "I'd love to hear it. Go on."

"Right." He muttered, turning back to the book.

She listened to his voice tell the tale of a boy, who entered a book and experienced a world of magic. Duo was right. This book was one that let the imagination run free. It didn't matter if you were blind or not, the sights described in the book were so extraordinary that you could only see them using your imagination. She let his voice guide her up and away on the wings of imagination, letting her get lost in a magical tale. But somewhere between Duo's honey-like voice and the sights her mind was flooded with, Nora began to zone out a little. She drifted elsewhere, leaving the sight of purple meadows and enchanted forests, and flying towards somewhere else. It was like a part of her mind was left listening to Duo, while another one detached from her body and took a trip elsewhere, far away from that day, that age, that place.

She could see. Her eyes could see. It was so bright. She was standing in a large, stylish kitchen. The windows were open, allowing bright light to pour into the kitchen and paint the colorful wallpaper with an even brighter shade. The light blue wallpaper was decorated with small yellow flower and orange dots. The sight overwhelmed her. There was so much color. Turning around she drank the sight of the kitchen hungrily, from the yellowish cupboards, the creamy countertop and the shiny, polished wooden floor. This was a good house, very fancy. Whoever lived here made a lot of money.

The edges of the kitchen were a little murky, like covered with fog. It slowly cleared, and so did her confusion. When she could finally see the large dining table at the corner of the kitchen, she suddenly knew to whom the house belonged. She had lived in it for almost ten years now, ever since Hayashi got his promotion.

At the corner of the kitchen, at each side of the grand dinner table, stood two large windows, overlooking the garden. Green trees and soft yellow light created a game of light and shadow outside the window, casting soft silhouettes over the polished wooden table. A large mug of thick black coffee was raising steam up in the air as it sat by a full plate at the head of the table. There were three plates in total, all of them waiting for their guests. Her husband should be coming down soon.

And just as she thought of her husband, he came down the stairs leading to the upper floor (it was a three story house) and entered the kitchen. He was already leafing through his morning paper, which got delivered to him every morning, scanning it from behind his fashionable glasses. He was wearing a dark blue business suit, looking as handsome as the day she first saw him. He smiled at her as he walked to the dinning table, and she smiled back. Breakfast was already served to the table, and all she had left to do was take the bread out of the toaster. She placed it in a decorated blue bowl, straightened her lavender dress and walked to the table.

Hayashi was already sipping his coffee when she took a seat at the table. They exchanged glances for a moment, smiling at each other, before turning to enjoy a quiet meal together.

"Smells delicious." Her husband commented with a smile as he put his newspaper down and turned to examine his breakfast. He looked up at his wife, and then glanced to the left, at the empty plate waiting there, along with a large glass full of orange juice. He turned back to his wife with a questioning look. "Where's-"

He didn't even finish his sentence when their son walked into the kitchen. The handsome teen flashed them a bright smile as he ran a hand through his messy brown hair. He was dressed sloppily, his school jacket hanging loosely over his shoulders, his shirt tucked out of his pants. She knew without him saying so that he overslept. Still he manages to look radiant and cheerful in the morning. His lovely smile lighted his features and went deeply into his blue eyes. He was a charmer, her son. The ladies fell at his feet for just that heavenly smile of his.

"Ohayou!" He greeted his parents with a playful voice, and took his seat at the table. Without further a due, he gulped his organ juice down.

"Hikari!" She rebuked him, a scowl on her face though she was extremely amused. "Slow down!"

It was too late for he was already finished. He placed the glass on the table and gave out a small chuckle. "Sorry mom." He apologized, his cobalt eyes shining with mischief.

"I sure hope you won't behave like this at the ball tomorrow." Hayashi muttered, shaking his head before turning to his newspaper.

"What ball? You said I didn't have to go anymore!" Hikari whined in his own unique teenager way, pouting his lips before he turned to face her. She couldn't help but chuckle. He was sixteen-years-old and still as cute as he was the day he was born!

"Mom! Tell him! He said I didn't have to go to another stupid party!"

"Now, now, Hikari," she began to sooth him gently, "just this time. You know how important this is to your father's job. All of the ambassadors will be brining their children along."

Hikari snorted and rolled his eyes. "Great! Another stupid OZ-kiss-up party... sweet." He scowled angrily, crossing his hands over his chest. "This is unfair," he accused, "I promised Duo I'll come over tonight!"

Something wasn't right. Who was Duo? Wait. She knew who Duo was. He was Heero's lover. Heero? Yes, Heero. There was no Hikari. There was Heero. He was her son. His name was Heero. But Heero was not sixteen... he was almost twenty by now. Then why...? Because it wasn't real. A dream. She must have fallen asleep. It was a dream. Too bad, though. It felt so real... For a moment she felt so happy to be a part of her son's life. To have him as a kid again, just for a brief while... She was sure that Hayashi would have loved it too...

"...ora? Nora? Are you all right? Nora?"

Duo's voice slowly sipped into her consciousness. He sounded worried. She opened her eyes, expecting to see him leaning over her, but there was only black. Of course there was only black. Only her dreams had color. She suddenly wondered how he looked like. She didn't have the nerve to ask him, but once she asked Heero about it, and her son chuckled lightly before assuring her that his lover is as sexy as he sounds. She could only take his word for it.

She realized that he was still calling her name, his tone anxious and worried. She forced herself to smile at him, sitting up with great effort. "I'm sorry. I must have dozed off for a second." She muttered with a groan, finally settling into a sitting position.

"It's all right. I understand." He said with a sad little smile, settling back into his chair. "I think we had enough reading for one day." He muttered and placed the book on her nightstand. He remained seated quietly, his hands in his lap and his numb gaze at the floor.

"How's Heero doing?" Nora asked after a while of silence.

Duo sighed, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "He's hanging in there."

"I'm sure you're doing your best to take care of him."

Duo snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "Yeah, sure. If he lets me."

A sad smile touched Nora's lips, and then vanished. She bowed her head down and looked away. There was a heavy silence, at which she seemed very thoughtful. Duo was almost sure that she fell asleep, before she turned to him again.

"Duo, can I ask something of you? A favor?" She asked, her blind blue eyes finding their way to his face, looking at him intensely.

He swallowed, clearing the lump from his throat. Her gaze was too intense to be blind. "S-sure. Anything."

She smiled in gratitude, and nodded her head. Taking a deep breath, she diverted her gaze for a moment before turning to him again. "Take care of Heero after I'm gone. He's going to need you more than ever."

His first response was a weird little cough as he looked away. Her request made him very uneasy. It stirred his heart in a painful way. It was a moment or two before he faced her again, chuckling nervously. "Nora, don't be silly. You'll be fine."

She just smiled warmly, her eyes shining with some unrevealed knowledge. "I know. But just in case, all right? Promise me?"

Duo sighed heavily, letting his head hang down in defeat. "Sure, Nora. I promise."

"Thank you, Duo." She whispered, her voice faltering a bit.

"But you should concentrate on getting better!" Duo suddenly insisted, jerking his head up to look at her fiercely. "Don't give up so easily!"

Again that warm, compassionate smile. It was the same look Heero gave him when he knew he was going to break a promise. He knew that look. He hated it. It was the sweet, innocent face of a lie.

"I've been sick for so long, Duo... I let the cancer slowly eat me alive. There's not much chance of recovery, you know that." She mumbled sadly, closing her eyes in shame. "I was so stupid... wishing to die like that..."

She felt Duo reach for her hand, and she turned to cup his warm hand in both her palms. She looked up and smiled at him. "Heero will need you after I am gone. He might have come a long way from the person he used to be, but he still needs an anchor, a guide, in life." She squeezed his hand tighter. "You're the only one for him, Duo. I'm sorry to bind you to someone at such an early age... you are only twenty... but you see... I know that you two are meant for each other."

"You don't have to convince me, Nora." Duo whispered softly, his tone full of love and warmth. "You are not binding me to anyone. I was bound to him from the moment we met. That was five years ago, and my feelings did not change. I will not let him out of my sight unless he'll kill me."

That earned him a small chuckle from Nora. "And according to what he once told me, he nearly did!"

Duo also smiled, and slowly pulled back. "Nah!" he said, waving his hand dismissingly, "he didn't have the heart!" And they both had a good-hearted laugh, venting out the pressure. The air felt lighter after a few mirthful chuckles, and then Nora's expression became serious again.

"I know what you mean about knowing when you've found your one and only. I met Hayashi when I was twenty-one. Two months after we met I already knew that I wanted to live my life with him. At twenty-three I was married and with a child." She sighed heavily and looked away, a hint of sadness and regret crossing her pale features.

"My family insisted that I was still too young, but I knew what I wanted. We drew apart because they were against my marriage to Hayashi, a Colony-born and of Asian heritage. I went against my father's words and left Earth to live in the Colonies, along with my husband. They saw me as a traitor, but I didn't care. I was happy. Even when I lost my eyesight, I didn't regret a thing. I had a husband and a son, and the two of them kept me happy."

She sniffled, a few tears rolling down her cheeks. "But I lost them, lost my happiness. I didn't even have a family to go back to. I didn't want to bother Hayashi's family, they were mourning as well. I came back to Earth and just... did my best to disappear... somehow... When I learned about the cancer, I was almost happy. I grew tired of living, and the war didn't hold any promise from me to die. No battles occurred where I was, and in my condition it seemed impossible to go out and seek death. This disease was my redemption." She snorted bitterly and buried her face in her hand. "Another stupid decision I made in my life... keeping the disease that will be the end of me."

"Nora..." Duo whispered, but he had nothing to say. He thought it better to keep quiet. He laid his hand on hers and simply listened.

"I holed up in my little dark apartment and simply counted the months to my death. I was becoming more and more bitter because it was taking longer than I thought. I even thought of ending my life and getting it over with, but I couldn't bring myself to do it." She sighed, shrugging. "And then... I met Heero. He turned my world upside down. I didn't want to die anymore. I had to make him happy. I just had to!"

She turned to face Duo, her eyes wide with wonder, as if she just realized something gravely important. "From the moment I heard that quiet voice of his, I felt that there was something about him. My heart opened up to him so quickly... I guess I knew somewhere, deep down..." She chuckled and shook her head, quickly dismissing the thought. "It's ludicrous, I know, but I would like to think that... I don't know... Tell me, Duo, what is the purpose of our reunion if I am to die now? I am beyond help, but what good will it do for Heero?"

Duo took a moment to breathe, her long tale leaving a heavy feeling in his chest. He placed his hand on her delicate shoulder. "I don't know, Nora. I don't know why you are to die now, but I do know that you had a great role in Heero's life. If not for you, I hate to think what would have happened to him. He could have died or even kill himself. You saved him, redeemed his soul somehow. That's a whole lot of good from one small meeting by chance."

She was blushing, as she always did when someone complimented her. Her eyes filled with tears, and she had to cover her mouth with her fist to hold back a sob. She pulled away from him, facing the other way, so she could compose herself.

"I just wish I didn't have to leave him now... it will break his heart." She whispered pleadingly at thin air, before whirling around to face Duo again. "I'm counting on you, Duo. Please make him happy."

He smiled, and then sniffled, his violet eyes also tearful. "I'll do my best." He promised, his voice faltering but his heart unwavering from its course.

* * *

The cityscape passed by in a blur of gray, white and blue outside the car's window. Heero's numb blue eyes took the sights in as he gazed out the passenger's window in Duo's car. He looked up at where the tall skyscrapers kissed the sky, where little sheep-like clouds crawled slowly through the summer skies. His eyes trailed lazily over the sights speeding outside the car, looking in a detached manner at the crowds walking the streets, the busy traffic and the colorful variety of shops.

When Duo stopped at a red traffic light, he watched a young mother and her son cross the road together hand in hand. She was carrying many shopping bags and he was licking an ice-cream cone. They were happy, obviously unaware of other people's sadness - like the heavy grief residing in his heart. The boy's eyes met with his as he walked past Duo's red car, somehow drawn to the deep sorrow in Heero's cobalt eyes. By the time the traffic light turned green and Duo drove on, Heero was sure that the boy had already forgotten about him.

He sighed and closed his eyes, leaning heavily into the passenger's seat. He was terribly tired, even after the long sleep Duo forced upon him. He didn't have the strength to do anything anymore. He didn't argue with Duo when his lover forced him to eat a large, nutritious breakfast. He didn't even protest when Duo swept the car keys and told him to get into the car. Usually he didn't let Duo drive him to the hospital, but he was too tired to argue. He was tired of everything lately.

Opening his eyes, Heero turned to look at his lover. Duo was concentrated on driving, struggling through the morning traffic. His features were haggard from lack of sleep, his lips pouted in concentration. Heero couldn't help but to smile a little. He found it cute. His smile grew when Duo exhaled a forceful breath in an attempt to push his bangs out of his eyes.

He allowed his eyes to wander down Duo's form, slowly trailing down his chest. He studied the way Duo's skin-tight shirt clung to his muscled torso, and the way its dark red color matched Duo's black jeans. His braid was lying over his chest, dangling down to his knees. Heero watched it swing a little as Duo took a sharp turn. He could also feel the car speed up drastically. Frowning, he turned to gaze out the windshield.

He looked up just in time to see their car leave a large interchange and head straight into a great highway. It didn't take him long to recognize that they were now driving down the main highway that led out of town.

Heero quickly straightened in his seat. Looking back over his shoulder, behind the passenger seat, he could see the city skyscrapers getting smaller and smaller. They were leaving town!

"Duo," he called, whirling back to face his lover, "where are you going? Turn the car back."

Duo's lips pressed into a thin line as he hit the gas pedal and changed a lane. "You're not going to the hospital today, Heero." He said, his tone harsh, beyond argument.

"Duo," Heero nearly growled, though he was too tired to be angry right now. "This is not funny. Turn the car back." He thought for a moment and then softly added, "Please."

"No can do, lover-boy. We're miles past the exit."

"Duo!" He called, desperate this time. "Please turn the car back. I have to go to see Nora."

A sneaky smile crept up Duo's lips. "Don't worry, Hee-chan. I told her you wouldn't be coming today." He said, looking briefly at his rearview mirror before changing lanes to by-pass a slower car. "She said it was fine with her."

"But..." Heero began, though he had nothing to say. Defeated, he slumped back into his seat. He sighed and closed his eyes, reaching a hand up to rub his tired eyes. "Where are we going?" He finally asked, surrendering to his fate.

A softer smile graced Duo's lips this time. He turned to Heero, his eyes asking for a little faith. "You'll see." He said. "Trust me on this one."

So like with anything else, Heero simply accepted. He tilted his head back and settled more comfortably into his chair. He let his mind drift slowly to sleep, trusting Duo to lead him to wherever they were heading.

* * *

He woke up when he felt the car stop and the engine still. Opening his eyes, he blinked the sleep out of them and turned to look around. He pulled himself up to sit properly, and gazed out the front window. His eyes widened when he realized that the car was parked inside a green forest, just ten meters or so from a huge, crystal blue lake. The lake seemed to stretch into forever, the clear water sparkling under the sunlight. There were only green trees surrounding the large lake, not a sign of settlement around.

Heero snapped his mouth close when he realized that he was gaping at the scenery.

Duo chuckled at the sight of Heero's stunned expression. "We're here." He said, carefully stepping out of the car.

Heero was still too shocked to move. He looked around, left and right, gazing out of all the windows. They were deeply into the forest, not even a dirt road trailing behind them. He didn't even feel the bumpy ride. How the hell did Duo find this place?

He whirled his head back to look out the windshield, and spotted Duo walking away from the car, stretching his arms over his head.

Sighing heavily, Heero also stepped out of the car. There was a crunchy cracking sound when he laid his feet over the dried pine-leaves scattered on the ground. They crackled a small melody as he stood up, leaning against the red car's door.

He took a deep breath, inhaling the clean air of the forest into his lungs. He nearly forgot how nature smelled like. The air was fresh and crispy, carrying the sweet scent of summer. He could feel the soft rays of the sun tingle his skin, and looked up to see the yellow light filter through a mask of green branches. He watched the wind tousle the heavy leaves, playing with the branches as it skipped from tree to tree.

Looking down, he watched the sun twinkle over the waves in the lake, and the wind caressed the bluish water. The air was filled with songs of birds, the sounds of the forest. It was so quiet. Peaceful. A blessing to ears that were used to the constant hum of the city.

He could feel Duo's gaze on him, and he could sense that smile of his without even looking. He sighed to himself, and turned to look at his lover. He offered him a small, apologetic smile.

"This is very beautiful, Duo, but... I need to go back." He said in a small, wavering voice. His eyes shimmered in sorrow, he knew he was hurting his lover, but he felt that he shouldn't be here. Duo should understand, right?

But his lover only stood in his spot, and turned to face the lake. He was still stretching his arms, folding one arm over his head and then switching hands.

"I'm sorry, Heero, but I'm afraid that we're gonna be here for a while."

"Duo, please." Heero tried again, taking a few steps towards his lover. Duo only continued his exercise, bending his body to the left and then to the right. His back was still facing Heero.

"Sorry, man, but I didn't drive for three and half hours so you could tell me to make a u-turn and drive back."

"Then you shouldn't have brought me here in the first place!" Heero growled, crossing his arms over his chest. He glared at Duo's back, his anger boiling.

Duo turned around and offered him a big, dazzling, smile. "You're going to stay here if you like it or not." he said, shrugging, "Might as well enjoy it."

Heero rolled his eyes and puffed air out of his lungs, pushing his bangs up. He glared at Duo a second more, before 'tsking' loudly and storming back towards the car. "Fine. You can stay. I'm leaving!" He growled, and stomped into the car.

Fuming with anger, he slammed the door behind him and yanked the seatbelt. He reached a hand to turn the switch on, only to find out that there were no car keys. Growling in frustration, he ran a frantic search through the dashboard and glove compartment. He searched above the driver's seat, inside the car visor, everywhere. Nothing.

Frustrated, he punched the steering wheel and groaned in annoyance. Looking up, he saw Duo sitting over the engine hood, grinning like an idiot and waving the car keys at him.

With a groan, he slammed his head on the steering wheel so hard that he blew the horn. He took a moment to just relax and breathe, composing himself, before he stepped out of the car and slammed the door shut behind him. Glaring at Duo, he crossed his arms over his chest and came to stand in front of him.

"Fine. You win." He muttered, his tone accusing. "Now what?"

Duo smiled victoriously and threw an arm over Heero's shoulder. "Go fetch your gear, lover-boy, cuz we're going camping!"

* * *

By the end of the day, Heero forgot about ever wishing to leave that place. They strolled the hidden pine trails of the forest together, climbing mountains and exploring valleys. They wallked between green trees and tall canyons. They found a small waterfall at the side of a mountain, which was hidden behind a few cliffs and heavy vegetation. The discovery filled their heart with some great, unknown feeling. They found a place on Earth only the two of them knew about. A special place, beautiful and green, that was theirs only. They kissed passionately by the raging white torrents of the waterfall, the loud furious sound of the rushing water guiding their kiss with an intense rhythm, adding to thier crazed passion.

They made their way back to the lake when the sun no longer filtered so strongly through the trees. They settled down by the lake late in the afternoon and simply lay on the warm sand at its shore. Kicking their shoes off and wiggling their toes against the soft sand, they took a few long minutes to just stare together at the clouds.

At sunset, when the lake was washed with golden colors and stains of pale pink and blue, they sat by the quiet water, and did some fishing. They made a bet about who will catch a bigger fish. Duo lost and therefore he had to go fetch the wood for their campfire.

They set a small camp by the lake, leaving the car behind them in the forest. Duo spread a large sleeping bag, big enough for two, over the soft sand, by the campfire. The two grilled their fish over the fire, and then enjoyed a quiet meal together. They helped themselves to a drink or two, which placed them both a in a cheerful and playful mood.

A while later, Heero found himself lying on his back, sprawled over the sleeping bag, laughing until he was out of air because of Duo's tickle-attack. His mind was warm from the beer he drank, and his mood was giddy from the entire enjoyable day. Heero soon found himself playing along, tickling back. The two rolled over the sleeping bag like two cubs playing, tickling each other in a mischievous contest.

Heero couldn't have been more grateful for each little sound of laughter Duo coaxed out of him. He had nearly forgotten how to laugh. It was like that day brought him back to life. He felt energized for the first time in months. His body ached from so much walking and climbing, and yet he couldn't remember feeling this good for such a long time.

At some point the two of them ended up atop of each other, panting harshly after much effort. They lasted only two seconds, at which they simply panted and looked into each other's eyes, before launching into a passionate kiss. They rolled over the sleeping bag, enthused by their passion. Their hands moved around frantically, touching the other desperately.

When they finally calmed, they simply lay there, sprawled over the thick sleeping bag. They lay on their backs, close enough to feel the other's body heat, and gazed up at the stars.

The skies were a pitch, velvet black, sprinkled with thousands of glittering silver dots. The stars twinkled down at their wondering eyes, as if offering a playful wink. Heero imagined that they were trying to encourage him, somehow trying to make him feel better. 'You deserve it', one star said with a wink. Heero found it rather odd that the star sounded an awful lot like Nora.

Another pair of stars reminded him of Duo's eyes, how they sparkled when he laughed. They were smiling at him too, spreading a warm feeling in his heart. They reminded him how much he loved Duo. How he loved him to the very core of his soul.

Smiling to himself, Heero turned to lie on his side so he could face Duo. His braided lover appeared to be deep in though, gazing at the stars. His eyes shone with a serious gleam, almost brooding, amethyst orbs shimmering under the starlight.

Heero draped his arm over Duo's broad chest, counted a few heartbeats and then leaned to whisper in his ear. "What are you thinking about?"

Duo blinked when Heero's whisper caressed his ear, as if coming out of a trance. He turned his head to look down at the boy lying by his side, and offered him a warm smile. "Nothing too important." He said, though his honey-like voice sounded a bit strained. Heero leaned closer to kiss Duo's soft cheek, and then bowed his head so he could tuck it under Duo's chin. He let his head rest over Duo's chest, listening to his breath.

He suddenly realized that there were a lot of dark, slimy demons roaming around Duo's head. His own demons left him a while ago, and only paid him infrequent visits. When Duo and he spoke about it, lying curled by one another in the darkness of the night, Duo rarely spoke of his own demons. He said that he already dealt with them in the two years after the war. That's why he went back to space, to clear his head from the cruelty of war.

But maybe it didn't work. Perhaps those two years were not enough. How could he have dealt with everything all on his own? It was impossible, Heero knew from experience. There were still demons there, he realized. Maybe Duo didn't see smiling stars when he looked up at the heavens. Maybe all he saw were dead husks of burnt mobile suits that still littered outer space. That thought saddened Heero. He hugged Duo harder, as if trying to wring all of his misery out.

"Gomen, Duo. I've been so insensitive." He whispered, closing his eyes in shame. He shivered when he felt Duo's warm arm sneak around him, holding him gently.

"Why is that?" Duo whispered softly.

"You never talk," Heero mumbled, "you always listen but you never talk."

Duo sighed heavily, turning his gaze back up, watching the dark skies. "You already know everything there is to know about me, Heero. I don't hide anything from you."

"You hide your pain," Heero stated bitterly, "just like Nora did. She hid it so well I could never see it. I was the actual blind man among us." He blinked away a few tears and whispered, "I don't want to be blind to your pain."

He didn't have the courage to turn his head around and see the look on Duo's face. To see the disappointment in his eyes. He had just realized how much pain Duo was holding inside him, how hard he worked to hide it. Just like Nora did. Even when she didn't smile at him, even when her mood was down, he never saw the full extent of her pain. He never knew of the many tears she held behind her blue eyes.

Duo's eyes were the same. They could show you the glint of a smile, but never the blackness that ate him from the inside. And that blackness was there, he was sure of it. He wanted to chase it away with all the love that he held in his heart. He will not be blind to it any longer. He might have failed Nora, but he will not repeat the same mistake twice.

"You open up to me, and yet there's so much you hold back from me. Why is that? Why won't you let me help you? I really think that I can." He said, turning to face Duo with pleading eyes. The cobalt orbs shimmered in the dark, the glittering tears begging Duo to give him an honest answer. "I love you, Duo. Why can't I help you?"

He didn't expect to see a big, heartwarming smile touch Duo's lips. His lover was looking at him with absolute love and admiration, his violet eyes shining brightly.

"You do help me, Heero." Duo whispered gently, and leaned down to kiss Heero's sweet lips. "More than you know." He turned to look into his eyes, his smile never wavering.

"I don't need anything but your love. It is more than I could ever ask for. All I have to do is hold you and my pain disappears. I don't hide anything from you, Heero." He paused, thinking for a moment before adding, "And even if I do cry, from time to time, it's all right. I know you're always there for me when I need you, and that knowledge is enough to help me deal with my pain."

Heero smiled a little, and Duo offered a small kiss to his nose.

"I might hide little things from you," he said with a small chuckle, "like that time when I ate that apple pie Nora made for you... and you got all grumpy about it that I didn't have the heart to tell you..." He snickered and Heero glared. The two laughed together, before Duo continued seriously. He held Heero close to him, looking deeply into his eyes. His voice was full of determination when he spoke.

"You don't have to worry about being blind to my pain. I will never hide what's in my heart, Heero. That will be a lie and denying my love for you." He smiled softly, and reached a hand to caress Heero's fine hair. He petted his cheek softly, his eyes shining lovingly at his blue-eyed love. "The reason I don't show my pain to you, is because there is no pain. Not when I'm around you."

Heero didn't seem convinced at first, but then he thought of the comfort he got when he was around Duo or Nora. Of the way everything seemed easier, his heart felt lighter, when he was with them. Perhaps Duo felt the same towards him.

Smiling, Heero looked up to meet Duo's eyes. He pushed himself up a bit so he could kiss Duo, a sweet brush of his lips against Duo's. They parted, and Heero drew back, his eyes drowning in Duo's earnest expression.

"Promise me that if it hurts, you'll tell me about it." He asked slowly, carefully.

"I promised." Duo whispered, his voice honest and warm. "And you do the same so we can help each other out, okay? There are some rough times ahead of us, I'm sure you know that, and I don't want you to think that you must go through this alone."

Again Heero couldn't help but smiling. Every word that Duo said wrapped around his heart and left him tingling with warmth. He loved him so much!

"Aa. I promise." He whispered back, leaning down to hug Duo. The two curled inside the sleeping bag, sinking into a warm, blissful slumber.

* * *

Dawn painted the lake in a mixture of soft colors. Mellow pinks, heavenly cerulean blue, soft yellow and highlights of gold. The morning skies were a grand display of calm colors. A few birds cut through the heavens in an early morning flight. The green forest was silent and still, only now and then a few twittering of birds interrupting the silence. The lake was mirror-still, reflecting the green surrounding and the colorful sky.

The air was chilly and crisp, carrying the sweet scent of summer blossoming. A soft breeze carried the clouds on its wings, helping them make their journey throughout the heavens.

Down by the lake, on its golden shore, the last little sparks of fire burnt within fading cinders. The final signals of smoke ascended from the small campfire, fading into thin air with a silent hiss.

Up in the horizon, behind green mountains and lush treetops, the sun was crawling up lazily. It carefully reached its warm, golden rays to greet the new day with a warm and loving embrace. It wasn't long before the golden sphere peeked over the trees of the forest, trying to pour the soft light over the lake they protected.

The golden rays finally found their way to the large, double, sleeping bag that lay on the lake's shore, by the dying campfire. The sun seemed to be glowing brighter, as if happy to find someone out here to caress. It reached its warm rays down and washed over the two boys sleeping curled inside the sleeping bag.

Birds slowly came to life, flying across the lake and hopping from tree to tree. They twittered happily in light of the new day, chanting cheerfully as they spread their wings to fly. The noise didn't bother Heero, didn't even make him stir in his sleep, but rather the feeling of sudden chill that attacked him was the one to finally bring him into awareness.

Yawning lazily, he stretching inside the warm sleeping bag, stretching his limbs like a cat. He slowly opened his eyes and blinked the sleep away. Rolling over to lie on his back, he took a few long moments to just gaze up at the colorful sky. It was so beautiful that he couldn't help smiling. Inhaling the fresh air deeply into his lungs, Heero closed his eyes and indulged in the feeling of nature. This had been the best sleep he had in months. It was probably the most fulfilling, pleasant, enlivening sleep he had in his entire life.

Moaning sleepily, like a lazy boy who refused to wake up for school, Heero snuggled into the warm sleeping bag again, trying to buy a few more moments of sleep. His hands automatically reached up and searched for Duo. His eyes flew wide open again when he finally realized that Duo's warm body was not where it was supposed to be.

Frowning, Heero sat up and took a look around. He saw a bird flying swiftly out of the forest and bounce over the lake, disturbing the still water. The ripples grew bigger and bigger, and he followed them, until his eyes caught sight of his lover, bathing in the lake.

A warm smile slipped gracefully over Heero's lips. He shook his head in slight amusement, and crawled out of the sleeping bag. A small chill climbed up his spine when he placed his bare feet over the cool sand. The sand was not too cold, and he quickly got used to it. He made his way down to the shoreline.

He spotted Duo's clothes thrown carelessly on a rock by the water. The boy's socks, underwear and shoes were also there. Looking up, his breath was stolen at the sight of his lover.

Duo was standing where the water reached up to his chest, small waves moving around his naked torso. His long chestnut hair was unbound, floating around him in a circle, like a blossoming water lily. The sight filled his heart with warm mush, making him smile goofily. He stood there, watching, as Duo moved about in the water, his long hair trailing gracefully behind him, floating left or right, depending on where Duo went.

He would have stood there for an eternity, if Duo hadn't noticed him. The longhaired boy noticed that he was being watched, and quickly turned around to face the shore, his hair imitating his every move. His eyes met with Heero's, and he smiled.

"Heya, lover. Good morning." He called with a pleasant smile, waving at his boyfriend.

Heero smiled in return. "Ohayou, Duo." He said, and prepared to take a seat on a nearby rock.

"Hey, Heero, you gotta come in. The water's great!" Duo said cheerfully, gesturing Heero to join him. "You have GOT to try this skinny-dipping thing!"

Heero frowned, making a sour face. "I don't think so, Duo. Thank you."

"Ah, c'mon! I'm telling ya- it's great! I never felt so free in my LIFE!"

Heero rolled his eyes. "I doubt that."

"Oh, Heero! C'mon! You know you're gonna like it!" Duo whined, pouting his lips like a small child. "What, you're gonna let me swim naked here all by myself? It kinda takes the fun out of it all..."

"I thought you said you're having the 'time of your life'." Heero reminded him, as he already stood up and prepared to take his sweatshirt off. "Then what do you need me for?" He finished with a smirk, throwing his shirt aside.

Duo grinned, his eyes glued to his lover's muscled torso. "Oh, I need you all right." He growled playfully, watching Heero as the boy wriggled out of his pants as well. He smiled when Heero was finally standing by the water with only a pair of simple white briefs, looking at the water in hesitation.

"Isn't it cold?" Heero asked, testing the water with his toe.

Duo shrugged and tilted his head back, dipping his hair deeper into the water. "Nah, you get used to it pretty quickly."

"You're joking." Heero muttered, taking a step back after dipping his right foot into the freezing water. He turned to look up at Duo. "I'm going to freeze my balls off!"

Duo laughed well heartedly, shaking his head in amusement. There was just something very funny about hearing Heero saying something like 'balls'! It made him giggle like a little kid.

"C'mon, scaredy-cat! I dare you take a dive into the water!" He called teasingly, grinning for all he was worth.

As to be expected, Heero didn't back off from a challenge. In a matter of seconds, he was drenched from head to toe, standing in front of Duo with Goosebumps all over him and his teeth chattering.

"H-here," he growled, teeth chattering, "H-hap-p-y?"

Duo laughed and gave him a playful pat on the back. "Couldn't be happier, lover-boy!" He announced with pride. "Well, unless you take those silly underwear off."

Heero glared and Duo ignored it. "Hey! They don't hide much anyway, do they? C'mon! Be a sport!" And he reached a hand underwater to tug at Heero's waistband.

"Baka." Heero muttered, emphasizing his words with a playful smack. He then sighed dramatically and took the briefs off as well. He threw them away in the general direction of the shore, probably missing it by a few meters, and then turned back to Duo. The two merely looked at each other, until all of a sudden, Heero smiled.

"What?" Duo asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Heero's smile only spread wider, like melting chocolate. "You were right. This is very releasing."

"Ha!" Duo gave out a small laugh, which soon turned into a fit of laughter. "See! I told you so!" He said, before launching at his lover and dunking him into the lake. Unfortunately for him, Heero was quick enough to grab him by his forearms and pull him down with him.

The two began a fierce water fight, splashing about in the lake like children, their laughter filling the clear forest air. When the playful mood left them, the two naked boys remained standing in the soft-blue water, simply looking at each other.

Standing before Duo, still panting from their game, Heero ran his eyes over his lover, appreciating the sight before him. Duo was also panting, his chest heaving up and down as clear drops of water caressed his skin on their way down his body. His chestnut hair was floating all around him in a large circle, the edges of the lush strings touching his own skin.

He looked up again and met Duo's eyes. A moment of embarrassment brushed over both boys as they realized that they had been watching each other like that, noting every little erotic detail. Heero swallowed, and he saw Duo do the same. Underwater, he was beginning to be aroused.

Slowly, carefully, Heero reached a hand down to touch the hair floating around Duo. He took a handful of wet hairs in his palm and ran them between his fingers. They felt rough when they were wet, the lake's water not doing them justice. He raised his treasure up to his face, pressing the lush hairs to his cheek and inhaling deeply. Closing his eyes, he took in their sweet scent, the same familiar shampoo fragrance he knew so well.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw Duo gazing adoringly at him. He smiled sheepishly in return, and carefully placed the handful of hairs back in the water.

Duo reached a hand up to caress his face, brushing his wet bangs aside to reveal his face. He pushed them up over Heero's head, exposing his lover's features as if for the first time. Heero smiled at him softly, and when the usual mop of hair that hid his face was absent, Heero's smile made him glow even more.

Duo leaned forward to capture Heero's lips in a kiss. The boy's mouth was warm compared to the cold water that chilled his skin. He tasted sweet, like nature, making Duo hungry for more. He gathered Heero into a tight embrace, pressing their naked bodies together. He smiled against Heero's mouth when he felt that he was not the only one aroused by this.

They kissed long and deep, pouring their passion into each other's mouths. When they began grounding their bodies against one another, they decided to leave the chilly water and ran to shore. They collapsed onto their sleeping bag, already kissing and groping each other.

Their passion was intense. Their mouths were hungry to taste, their fingers aching to explore. Unlike their previous sexual encounter, there was burning lust rather than a gentle rhythm. They were hungry for each other, eager to feel the other's body. Wild heartbeats, harsh panting and frantic limps portrayed their passion. Their union was almost feral, the intensity of their desire overwhelming.

Duo's tongue traveled up and down Heero's body, while his hands touched him everywhere. There wasn't a part of his skin that was not caressed or kissed. Heero's body burned with crazed delight, his senses overloaded. When Duo's hot mouth closed around his aching arousal, he gave out such a scream that the entire forest shook. A few birds rose up to the air in panic.

Heero noticed none of that. All he knew was the overflowing white pleasure washing over him. The wet, moist haven that his cock was thrusting into. His knees buckled as he pushing himself off the sleeping bag and into Duo's mouth. He was so close to the edge, so close to exploding, but instead of giving into his desire, he raised a shaking hand up and placed it on Duo's shoulder. Panting harshly, he asked him to stop.

Duo didn't hesitate. He quickly withdrew, turning a sorrowful pair of eyes towards his lover. "What? What's wrong, Hee-chan? I didn't hurt you, did I?" He asked, and immediately came to Heero's side, lying by him on the sleeping bag. "I'm sorry." He whispered, looking down at him with anguished eyes. "I'm sorry."

Still panting, Heero turned to look at Duo, his cobalt eyes shining brightly. He smiled kindly at him. "It's not that, baka." He whispered softly, caressing Duo's damp hair. "I don't want to come yet. I want to come when you're inside me." He said, smiling sheepishly.

Realization dawned on him like a bright light, which shone in his eyes. He gave Heero a sly smile, his anguish forgotten. "I think we can do something about that." He said, and reached a hand backwards, where their gear lay inside a duffle. He pulled out a barely used lube out of the bag and turned back to Heero.

Heero's lust-clouded mind didn't allow him to think about where the lube came from. He wasn't aware of anything but the hungry feeling in his lower body, his aching, pulsing, need to feel Duo move inside him, filling him like no one else could. He watched eagerly as Duo coated his arousal, his toes wiggling in anticipation as he watched his lover position himself before him. He endured with great impatience as Duo stretched him and prepared him, eager to feel something warmer, bigger and harder than his lover's fingers. He felt Duo carefully touch his ankle, and leaned his head back against the sleeping bag, closing his eyes tight.

His lover's warm fingers closed around his ankle, gently guiding his legs up. He placed his them over his shoulders, and then turned back to Heero.

"I love you." He whispered, positioning himself before Heero's entrance.

"Love you too." Heero whispered back, his eyes still closed.

His toes clenched and unclenched as Duo carefully slid inside him. He was holding his breath until he felt he was suffocating, and then gave out a few harsh pants. In a few moments, the pain was gone, and there was only the feeling of warmth inside him. He was whole again.

Smiling gently, Heero opened his eyes and looked up at Duo. He nodded slightly with his head, telling his lover that he was ready for him to move. Duo smiled back, a bit shaky from the pleasure clenching around his arousal, and then slowly drew back. And in again. And out. And in. And out. In. Out. In. Out. And again. And again. And again.

Heero groaned loudly, on the brink of screaming, when Duo finally entered him faster than before, hitting his prostate. From then on there was only one sensation he knew. The world ceased to exist aside for the feeling of Duo moving inside him. In and out. In and out. Harder and harder. Deeper, harder, fiercer... until he could feel the entire length of him.

"Deeper... deeper..." He begged, panting his plea like a mantra. "Ahh... Duo... more... please more... harder... Ah!! Arghh!!! Duo!!!!"

He moaned his lover's name, over and over, mumbling incoherent 'I love you's.

"Oh God... Heero..." Duo breathed through clenched teeth, lost inside his lover's body. His eyes were closed tight, his wet hair moving up and down, slapping his back, as he thrust in and out of Heero. "Mmm... ahh... argh! ARGH!! OH GOD! HEERO!!!"

When he felt that he was about to come, he reached a hand and wrapped it around Heero's erection. He stroked him in time with his thrusting, his rhythm becoming frantic. As he exploded he could hear, somewhere beyond the clouds of passion, Heero calling out his name as well. The two came together, Heero's seed irrupting out of his cock and over Duo's hand, as his lover's warm essence coated his inside.

Their orgasm was so intense, that neither realized that the other came until they descended from their afterglow. Their harsh breathing filled the air as their lust-glazed eyes simply gazed into each other. Duo was still embedded deep inside Heero; his lover's cum leaking down his forearm. Heero was lying still on his back, his legs over his lover's shoulders. They remained like that, relishing in the sight of the other's face washed with sweaty bright afterglow.

Heero smiled up at Duo, a shy little smile, and Duo smiled back. He pulled carefully out of his lover's tight body, and came to lie by his side. Heero raised the top part of the sleeping bag to cover them both, and the two snuggled together under the warm cover.

This time, it was Duo who placed his head over Heero's taut chest, pressing his cheek against the sweaty skin. He closed his eyes and inhaled the salty scent into his lungs, a warm smile spreading on his lips. Heero wrapped his arms around Duo, and his longhaired lover did the same. They lay in silence, watching the sun climb out of the horizon, the golden sphere reflecting on the lake.

The silence was broken when a sudden frown darkened Heero's features. From content, his expression transformed to confusion.

"Duo?" He asked, his voice uncertain.

"Hmm?" Duo mumbled sleepily, feeling warm and content in Heero's arms.

"How come you had a tube of lube ready?" He popped the innocent question.

Duo's eyes flew open. He chuckled nervously and rose up so he could look at Heero. "Ah, well, ya know, Hee-chan... you can never be too prepared for a situation..."

"Baka." Heero stated with a smile, shaking his head. "Kono hentai." He added playfully, and leaned to kiss Duo a quick kiss. Though Duo didn't let him get away with just a simple kiss. He quickly pulled Heero close for another passionate, mind-blowing kiss.

When their passion subsided, they returned to simply lying together, listening to nature. Heero rolled over to lie on his side, snuggling against Duo's warm body.

"I wish we could stay like this forever..." he whispered sadly, and then sighed. "I don't want tomorrow to come..."

Duo bowed down to kiss the top of Heero's head. "Then don't think about it." He whispered back, hugging Heero tighter. "Pretend that it won't."

Sighing heavily once again, Heero pulled closer to Duo and closed his eyes. "Yes..." He mumbled sleepily, slipping into a content slumber. "Lets pretend..."

Part 6

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