Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Behind Closed Doors ❯ 3: lighter places ( Chapter 3 )

3: lighter places

Heero Yuy sat on a seat, in a park, in the middle of a colony he could not name, not because he did not care to but because he simply did not know. The computer told him where to go and he went. It was a lighter place than usual; a place filled with foreign laughter and lulled with yet-to-be broken promises into a state of convalescence.

So here he was, sitting in a park watching the children play at games he did not understand, a small satellite transmitter held firm in his hand, dead. The chip that had given it life was already broken, destroying the transmission that had led him astray, guiding him back to yet another, older signal. A longer one, that would lead to yet another satellite, and another, and another...

Heero Yuy often wondered what would have happened if he had started his search a day earlier, or a week, a month...a year. Would he today be holding the last one, would he be standing in front of a house in some forgotten orbit, finally found, whole and home? It was a painful thing to realise he was just wondering and that today he held only another clue, knowing that even as he tore the web apart another took the place of those he had discarded. It was a painful thing to know that no matter how hard he searched, the object of his attention worked twice as hard to ensure he would not come; that he would give up. It galled him that Duo was completely unaware that his search had ever begun. He just hid, and did it damn well.

A child laughed nearby and he looked up to find her pointing at him, laughing with her friends. He supposed he did look strange in his faded jeans and torn green tank top, every inch of him filthy and bedraggled. But they looked just as strange to him, smiling and enjoying the peace he had never understood. He had won it for them, but no one had stopped to teach him how to live in it. Not even Relena...

He wondered sometimes, what would life be like if he just gave in, gave up his search and took up one of her offers. Where would he be? What would he be doing? Would he be happy? Could he be happy...

Whenever Heero Yuy wondered these thoughts his mind would drift, and would settle on Wufei and he would know. No. There was no happiness to be found in almosts.

The lighter places can be found everywhere, but that doesn't mean the sun shines there.