Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Bleeding On the Inside ❯ Little Earthquakes ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing except this story.

Warnings: Angst, rape, yaoi, and eventual 3x4/1x2 content.

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LITTLE EARTHQUAKES

Yellow bird flying gets shot in the wing

good year for hunters and Christmas parties

and I hate

and I hate

and I hate

and I hate elevator music

the way we fight

the way I'm left here silent

oh these little earthquakes

here we go again

oh these little earthquakes

doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

we danced in graveyards with vampires till dawn

we laughed in the faces of kings never afraid to burn

and I hate

and I hate

and I hate

and I hate disintegration

watching us wither

black winged roses that safely changed their color

oh these little earthquakes

here we go again

oh these little earthquakes

doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

I can't reach you

I can't reach you

give me life, give me pain

give me myself again

oh these little earthquakes

here we go again

oh these little earthquakes

doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

doesn't take much to rip us into pieces

Tori Amos

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Bleeding On The Inside - Chapter Two - Little Earthquakes

Duo heard the front door slam and it startled him briefly. For an instant he wondered if Heero had come back early from his mission, or maybe Wufei was returning from his afternoon meditation although those ideas didn't seem plausible. Duo poked his head around the corner of the wall dividing the kitchen and the front hallway just in time to see a blond head disappear around the corner.

'Quatre?' Duo thought, small frown lines gracing his forehead. 'He must be really upset in order for him to slam the door like that. He hates loud noises.'

"Hey Quatre, wait up!" Duo called up the stairs to the rapidly ascending boy. The blond boy did not halt his progress to his room.

'That's strange…I'm sure he heard me.'

Duo turned to look at the door and his frown grew deeper. Every single bolt and lock had been put in place; even the useless old chain bolt that was all rusted over.

"Something's wrong," Duo muttered to himself, softly. "And I'm gonna find out what it is."

He headed up the stairs after the blond Arabian, taking the stairs two steps at a time.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Quatre knelt in the bottom of the hard porcelain tub, one hand frantically trying to scrub his skin raw with a hand cloth, the other pressed closely to his midsection as if trying to keep his insides from pouring out some invisible gaping wound. Blood graced his inner thighs and it scared him to look at it, so he pretended it wasn't there. The bruise on his wrist showed purple and yellow and that also scared him so he hid it underneath the washcloth as he scrubbed. Tears blurred Quatre's vision and his chest heaved with the effort to breathe through the sobs that tore themselves from the back of his throat, but Quatre ignored this. His only thought was to get clean, to become clean again. His mind argued with him.'Why are you scrubbing so hard? You'll hurt yourself.' --don't care…must get clean-- 'You shouldn't do this. You're washing away the evidence…' --what evidence? nothing happened. must get clean-- 'Don't do this.' --do what?-- 'Shut this out. You have to tell someone! Something bad happened-'

--NO! shut up. nothing happened, okay?-'You're crying. You're bleeding and you're crying.'

--doesn't matter. it doesn't matter anymore. nothing matters anymore. must get clean--

Quatre rubbed the cloth across his neck, where that wet mouth had tasted him. Again, and again, and again…it still wouldn't come clean. Again, and again, and again…

The edges of the cloth turned red with blood. Quatre's rough cleaning had scraped the tender skin raw and it stung every time he brushed the cloth over it. He kept on scrubbing anyway.

The blood beaded up and mingled with the water, coursing down his back to create strange patterns, circling around the drain. It still wasn't clean.

Exhausted, Quatre reached a hand up and turned the water off, the sudden silence thick in the small, hot room. He pressed his forehead to the edge of the tub and closed his eyes. He wished for a flood to swallow and drown him. He wished for a fire to burn and consume him. He wished…

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Duo knocked on the door to Quatre's room, softly. It swung open with a creak, allowing Duo to look around the Arabian's room. Duo could hear the sounds of the shower from the bathroom. He saw steam creeping up from underneath the door crack.

"Quatre?" he called, walking into the room.

There was another sound, something that was partially muffled by the shower but Duo could still hear it, throbbing in his ears like the pulse of a heartbeat. It sounded like crying-no, it sounded like pain. Pain personified. It made Duo's insides clench painfully and he winced at the feeling. What could have happened to make Quatre sob like that?

"Quatre?" he called again, walking closer to the bathroom door. On the way he tripped over a heap of clothes and stumbled to the ground, cursing. Then he looked closer at the clothes.

They were Quatre's. There was no mistaking the expensive pink and violet heap of fabric for anyone else's. But there was something wrong…the sleeve of the shirt was torn. The pants were stained with dirt. Something else caught Duo's eyes. A small red spot on the inner thigh of the pants…could it be blood?

The sound of running water abruptly stopped and silence filled the room. Duo knocked on the door.

"Quatre?"

There was no answer.

Duo pounded louder, fear making his voice come out stronger than he had intended.

"Quatre? Quatre! Quatre if you don't answer me I'm going to come in."

Silence was the only reply. Duo bit his lip, hesitant to carry out his threat. He didn't want to invade his friend's privacy, but what if something was really wrong with the blond Arab? What if he was hurt or…

"That's it Quatre, I'm comin' in!"

Duo grasped the doorknob and pushed the door open, releasing a cloud of steam to surround him and exit the bathroom, blinding him for an instant. When his vision cleared what he saw made him wish that it hadn't.

"Aw shit, Quatre…"

The blond boy looked small and pale, even compared to the whiteness of the porcelain he slumped against. His eyes were closed and clear, colourless tears streaked paths down his cheeks. The only splash of colour was the bright red blood that curled in rivulets down his back and the darker shade of that same fluid that covered his thighs.

He looked dead.

Instantly, anger flared up in Duo's eyes. Anger and fear. He hadn't been off the streets so long that he'd forgotten what this meant. Pushing back his feelings, Duo raced to his friend's side, kneeling down on the cold, wet tile and reaching out a hand to brush against the blonde's cheek.

"Quatre?"

The blonde's eyes snapped open, their blue depths radiating fear, his pupils dilated but unseeing.

"NO!" he screamed. "Don't touch me! Don't-" his head snapped back, nearly smacking against the wall as the boy twisted painfully, trying to cower as best he could in the confined space.

"Please," he sobbed, "please don't hurt me…"

Duo felt the urge to sob as well, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. He retracted his hand, not wanting to scare Quatre anymore then he already had.

"Quatre…" he said, trying to make his voice sound soothing and safe, "it's all right. It's just me, Duo. You remember me, doncha?"

The blond peeked his head out from where he had been sheltering it with his arms and looked uncertainly at Duo.

"D-Duo?"

"That right. It's me. Quatre…who did this to you?"

Quatre bit down on his lip, hard enough to break the skin. Blood pooled in his mouth and trickled slowly down his chin. Quatre brought a finger up to brush away the warm substance. He stared at his stained fingers, bewildered. Duo slowly eased the cloth from Quatre's fist and wiped his chin with it.

"Come on," he said, helping the blond Arabian to stand wobbly on his feet. "Let's get you place more comfortable. Then we'll talk."

Duo put an arm around Quatre's waist and the boy flinched, too weak to pull away. Duo noticed but he didn't comment on it, instead, leading the smaller boy to the bed where he sat him down on the cool white sheets. Blood dripped from his back onto the bed. Quatre watched the stain spread with dull eyes.

Duo went back into the bathroom and gathered up some bandages and alcohol swabs he could use to clean Quatre's wounds with. While he was there his gaze lingered on the faint reddish tinge circling the drain. He swallowed down his disgust and quickly got what he needed, wanting to return to Quatre's side as fast as he could.

Quatre had not moved an inch from the position Duo had put him in. His eyes stared in a trance-like manner at a spot of blood that was rapidly soaking through the sheets. Duo sat down beside him, careful not to touch the boy.

"Quatre."

He waited until the boy's eyes focused on his.

"Quatre I want to clean your wounds. To do that I'm going to have to touch you. May I do that? I won't if it makes you feel uncomfortable."

Quatre considered this for a few seconds. Finally he nodded his consent, closing his eyes so he wouldn't have to see.

Duo started with the scraped flesh on Quatre's neck, getting out some gauze and pouring a bit of alcohol on it.

"This will hurt a bit," he warned before putting it on the raw skin.

Quatre didn't so much as blink.

After Duo had cleaned the wound and put a sterile bandage on it, he turned his attention to the now dried blood that covered his friend's rear and backside. Hesitating, he brought forth a wet washcloth and brushed it timidly against Quatre's leg. The boy jerked and let out a small whimper of fear that pierced Duo's heart as surely as a knife would have.

"Quatre," he said softly. "Do you want to clean this part up by yourself? It might be more comfortable for you."

Quatre's eyes blinked open and he nodded, taking the cloth from Duo's hand. Duo watched, wanting to make certain that Quatre wouldn't try to scrape the skin off like he did earlier with the washcloth, but he only wiped the blood off his thighs and rear, wincing when he rubbed the oversensitive flesh. Then he handed Duo back the washcloth and returned to staring at the sheets, clasping his hands in front of him like a child about to be scolded.

A breeze came through the window, rustling the curtains, and Quatre shivered.

Duo pulled a blanket from the bed and wrapped it around Quatre's shoulders, feeling the blonde's shaking through the fabric.

"Quatre, who did this to you?"

Quatre avoided Duo's gaze, glancing around the room nervously as if looking for a way to escape.

"Quatre, I know."

This comment made Quatre's head snap around, his eyes full of fear and shame. Duo felt guilty for causing his friend pain but he knew that he couldn't let Quatre ignore this or it would eventually destroy him inside.

"I know that something bad happened to you and I need you to tell me who did it so we can bring them to justice."

Quatre just sat there, sullenly silent, ignoring Duo.

Duo sighed and ran a hand through his unruly bangs.

"Do you want me to call Trowa and have him talk to-"

"NO!"

The sudden shriek startled Duo and he almost fell off the bed. Quatre's eyes were full of tears and his hands were clenched tightly into fists.

"You can't tell him! You have to promise me that you won't tell Trowa! He'd be so disgusted with me…I don't want him to see me! I don't want anyone to see me! Stop looking at me! STOP LOOKING AT ME!"

Quatre's cries were rapidly becoming hysterical and his nails dug into his flesh painfully, as if he were trying to rip himself apart. Duo grabbed his wrists and Quatre let out a moan of pain as Duo unintentionally pressed on the bruise. Duo held Quatre's hands until he stopped fighting him and slumped, exhausted and in tears, against Duo's chest.

"I didn't want to," he sobbed against Duo's shirt. "I didn't want to do it."

Duo's arms came down to hold Quatre gently. 'I know you didn't Q," he soothed. "It wasn't your fault. It was never you're fault."

"B-but I shouldn't have been in the store alone!" Quatre explained. "Oh why did I hide from the Maguanacs? I'm s-so stupid!"

"You're not stupid," Duo murmured ferociously into Quatre's ear. "Don't ever say that. You didn't do anything wrong. But which store did you say you were in? Quatre? Which store?"

Quatre was silent for a few moments. When he finally spoke his voice came out flat and mechanical.

"I was out on my own. I had hidden from the Maguanacs that usually escort me everywhere. I just wanted to be on my own for a while. I didn't think…" his voice wavered a bit, "I felt safe in this town."

Duo nodded and held Quatre a bit tighter as he continued his story.

"I wanted to go shopping. My clothes had gotten dirty and ripped when I hid from the Maguanacs. I went downtown where the best stores are. I-I went into C-Cadmy's Clothing Store for Men…"

Tears started to fall down Quatre's cheeks again and he began to shake in a way that was not related to his nakedness and the cold. Duo murmured comforting words, encouraging Quatre onward as he filed away the name of the store for further reference.

After a few moments, Quatre continued. "I wanted to try on this suit. T-the clerk…"

Quatre's shaking got worse and Duo had an immediate desire to personally introduce this store clerk to the far reaches of hell. Nobody messed with Shinigami's friends. But Quatre wasn't finished yet.

"H-he…while I was getting changed he came in and…I couldn't move! I was so scared, I couldn't even defend myself! Oh Allah, I'm such a failure!"

"Don't," Duo said firmly. "Don't blame yourself for this. You are not responsible for this. This was not your fault."

"But I never said no!" the blond cried, his hands twisting in the fabric of Duo's shirt. "I never said no!"

"You didn't say yes, either," Duo answered. "Don't make excuses for him, Quatre. He knew exactly what he was doing and he took advantage of your fear. Don't surround yourself with 'what if's' Quatre. I'll say it again: This. Was. Not. Your. Fault. Understand?"

Quatre nodded and then burst into noisy tears. Duo held his friend close, rubbing his back soothingly. After a while, the exhausted Arabian fell asleep. Duo covered him with a few more blankets.

"I'm so sorry Quatre," he whispered.

The blond frowned in his sleep and turned to the side, restlessly.

Duo found himself a chair and was about to settle himself down to stay by Quatre's bedside when he heard and insistent knocking at the door. Giving Quatre one last look, Duo headed down the stairs, his footsteps feeling heavy and weighted.

When he got to the front door he turned the knob to open it…and found that he couldn't. Remembering all the locks and bolts that Quatre had slid into place, Duo carefully undid each one and unlatched the door. It opened with a jerk and an irate Heero Yuy stepped into the room.

"Why was the door locked?" he asked. Then he saw Duo's face, the grim set of his mouth and the anger and sadness and guilt in his eyes. "What happened?" Heero asked, dreading the worst.

Duo stared at him stonily for a few moments before he shook his head and answered.

"They've killed an angel."