Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Confined Spaces ❯ The Question ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer:

Like I said. I no own-y. So no touchy-touchy.

No endangered geese were harmed in the creation of this fic.

But some pink tea cups might be thrown at some poor, innocent authors sometime in the near future.

Notes:

//blah//=voices inside the pilots heads.

In case you haven't figgered it out yet, this fic is full of the torture of innocent bishis. Please be aware that I love them all, and the fact that I torture them basically is just a bi-product of this. I am not an evil psycho bent on the impending insanity of sweet, innocent terrorist bishounen. Also, I wanna give Koneko Shido some credit for Duo's nickname for Wufei, "Wuffie". She was the first person I saw use this, and her fics rock. I always kind pictured Duo calling him that as being fitting. Oh yeah, and according to Zolac no Miko, peanut butter in a tube actually exists (I am severely worried about the state of a world that can come up with this). She also deserves some acknowledgement here, as it was a conversation with her the other morning that started this chapter. And then there were the rabid geese…::mutters something incoherent about *stupid national park laws*:

Duo Maxwell yawned.

The day was young, and already Wufei had passed out (a result of his own Justice Ranting, Duo was convinced), Heero had a splitting headache (he kept closing his eyes and rubbing his temples. Duo couldn't figure out why, but he was pretty sure it had something to do with the fact that the ceiling suddenly had what looked like several hundred more beginning attempts at ventilation ducts.), and Quatre and Trowa had begun a game of strip poker, which seemed to be involving a lot more stripping than poking. Although, he supposed there was always time for that.

Duo sat in a corner and played with the end of his braid. For some reason, it was reminding him of Shelong's extendable arm, the way it could curve all over.

He tickled the end of his nose with the braid and sneezed.

Thinking about Shenlong's extendable arm had led him down a path of thought with many twists, turns, ravines, and past many a campsite holding killer geese lying in wait. Now the more he thought about it, the more it looked like an oversized hand puppet. Which made sense. Damn, but Wufei was always talking to the thing. He could easily imagine Wufei, sitting in the cockpit, fires of battle raging around him, his Nataku's arm extended and held in front of him, carrying on a conversation with it.

Yes, he could definitely see that.

And then he heard the buzzing noise.

It seemed a hapless fly had somehow found its way in through the air vent, and was now circumnavigating the room in rapid repetition. Duo glared at it.

So did Heero. However, the effort made him wince. It seemed that Heero Yuy's Doom Glare of Doom would be out of commission for a little while yet.

Duo watched the fly. The little bastard had been going at this for a minute or two now, and was beginning to fly a little slower. He grinned evilly and began swinging his braid ominously in one hand, lasso style.

Across the room, Quatre and Trowa were down to boxers, and it looked as if things were going to become slightly more entertaining very shortly.

Duo glared at the fly. //just a little slower// he thought. What he didn't realize was that staring at a rapidly moving fly that was navigating circles around a small room was not necessarily good for one's aim. So, as the fly took another exhausted circle by him and Duo lunged, yelling a war-cry and swinging his braid full-tilt like a mace, he only managed to hit himself in the face with his hair while landing in Heero's spandex-y lap; across the room from where he had been aiming.

Heero, suddenly presented with a flying, screaming Shinigami at full speed, and then a face full of said Shinigami's braid, only managed a half of his usual Glare before seeing his vision dotted with chibi Wing Zeros, dancing to some *very* bouncy music. Duo watched him as he began to mumble, in a very off-key voice, something to the effect of "just wild beat…"

The fly was not so lucky. By pure chance, Heero's glare had caught it dead on, and it exploded with a tiny *POP* and a flash of blue light.

Quatre and Trowa's poker game had been interrupted by Duo's scream. Quatre had made a sound something like a smoke detector that had just sucked the helium out of a hot air balloon, and ended up in Trowa's boxer-clad lap. He took no time to appreciate the fact that Trowa's boxer's had pictures of little purple flowers with happy faces on them. His own were black silk, with pictures of whips and handcuffs, but he hoped no one would notice that.

All alone, in another corner, Wufei was dreaming. He was dreaming that he was back with his Nataku, like that time he had been hiding out by the river. No one had seen him for months, that time, and he had spent the entirety of those months in careful contemplative pondering.

And what, you may ask, was Wufei, the descendant of Dragons, the scholar, the Justice-crazed lunatic contemplating? Funny you should ask. And don't think you're the first, either. Come to think of it, he was asked that a lot. Rabid Fan Girls, mecha-crazed, testosterone-driven males (and more often than not, these were also closet Rabid Fan Boys, there was to be no doubt), and of course Lula, the lunch lady at Relena's school. (In case you were wondering, she got the chance to ask when he had come on a mission to kill the Pink Atrocity, per request from Duo. Heero knew nothing of the attempt, which had failed when Wufei had encountered the dreaded Bean Sprouts and run away screaming in terror, but before he had, Lula had gotten the chance to ask. Oh, and no, he wasn't paid by Duo. Duo had just threatened to tell the rest of the pilots about how Wufei's underwear had lime green chibi bunnies on them.)

Anyway. The question.

*Just WHAT is Wufei always pondering*

In his sleep, Wufei twitched. He wasn't weak! I was smart! And JUST!! Now why couldn't he figure it out?

*Why* did hotdogs come in packages of ten, and buns come in packages of eight!? WHY!?!

He woke with a stifled shriek, sitting bold upright, vein in his forehead twitching.

They all looked at him.

Heero with a blank stare so as not to use his Glare again.

Duo from where he was stealthily trying to make it back into Heero's lap from where he had been dumped on the floor.

Quatre, still from his seat in Trowa's lap where they were covered in the poker cards he had thrown when he leapt.

And Trowa, from behind his bangs, which presently had an ace of spades sticking out of them. The card had what looked suspiciously like a picture of an Eva on the back of it.

Duo grinned. "Hey, Wu-man. Have a nice nap?"

Wufei took one look at Duo and gave another shriek. "Kiyahhh!!! Braided demon!! Back fiend!"

Duo continued to grin, but shrugged. "Hey, I'm bored. Tro, where'd those cards come from, anyway?" he looked with interest at the cards Quatre had begun to shuffle together.

"…" said Trowa, and reached into his bangs, withdrawing a Pictionary board, followed by a Sandrock plushie, which he hastily stuffed back into the Magical Bangs.

"Woah! Sweet!" Duo's grabbed the Pictionary box, staring in wonder at Trowa's hair. "You got anything to eat in there?"

"…" Trowa reached into his bangs again, this time coming up with a tube of what Duo, after careful inspection of the packaging, realized was peanut butter.

He poked at the tube. It made a satisfying squishy noise and some peanut goo began oozing out a hole at one end. He poked it again. This time the peanut goo squirted out and splattered on the wall. Duo grinned. Heero contemplated banging his head against a wall, but thought better of it and settled for joining Quatre and Trowa in setting up the Pictionary board. Wufei watched it all from a safe distance.

Meanwhile, Duo had managed to smear the peanut butter across the wall, and was now drawing in it. Little chibi pictures that looked suspiciously like Deathscythe Hell, stomping on OZ mobile troops, and then doing a victory cha-cha on the rubble.

Then they evolved into what looked *very* suspiciously like chibi versions of Heero and himself doing Very Citrusy Things in the cockpit of Wing Zero. They weren't very detailed, as it was peanut butter, but nonetheless…