Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Confined Spaces ❯ It Came From the Grate ( Chapter 4 )

Disclaimer: I do not own, nor, sadly (maybe mercifully) will I *ever* own Gundam Wing/AC. I don't even own any microwavable fudge or whipped cream. I do, however, have a pair of boxers with shamrocks on them that I got at Blarney Castle in Ireland. And this other pair with winking happy faces that my Great Aunt Mary sent me for my birthday. And a rubber squeaky banana.

Warnings: allllrighty. This is where it all goes to hell in a handbasket. DO NOT READ THIS if you are a)homophobic, b)offended by extremely blatant mention of very um… I don't know if "kinky" is the right word, but… something along those lines… stuff. c)offended by hentai stuff in general. d)get ticked off by occ-ness, and e) are generally closed-minded, OR all of the above. It isn't really all that bad, but I don't want people flaming me just because you're a homophobe and don't agree with my ideas, alright? I do this for *fun*, so don't take it seriously.

A/N: yeah, this is where, for all you lovely hentai yaoi crazy people things begin to get fun. For all you right-wing conservatives, you're outta luck, go read a newspaper or something. I really need to up the rating, so that will be escalating, as things will be getting more fun now. I really wish there was a rating of just plain V for Voyeurism. That would be SO fitting. Also, there's a little OCC-ishness, but not too drastic, I don't think. Make up your own minds about that one. I was just having fun. Enjoy!

Time: 15:12:59

Mission Time Elapsed: 06:30:39

Wufei: "Er, hello."

Gerrod: "Ehhhh… hi. I seem to be in your lap."

Wufei: "Yes. Yes you do…"

Gerrod: "Funny thing about that, huh?"

Duo: "………"

Heero: "………..Random Glare…………"

Trowa: "…………………………R 30;…………………………&# 8230;…………………….." (he had more practice with this, naturally.)

Quatre: "…………………"

Wufei: "Yes, funny thing…"

Gerrod: "I'm Gerrod. And you're covered in whipped cream."

Wufei: "I'm Wufei. And so are you."

Gerrod: "Something should be done about this in the near future."

Wufei: "Yes. Yes it should."

Gerrod: "I see you have a sword."

Wufei: *Damn-Strait-I-Do-and-Don't-That-Kick-Ass grin*

Duo: "Yeah, Wuffie. What's up with the sword, anyway? I mean, you've used it like, what… once?"

Wufei: "Pay no attention to the Braided Demon. It seems to have gained the impression that we take it seriously. I am currently in the process of finding a way to get it to leave and/or be quiet for thirty seconds at a time"-

Duo: "Wuffie, why *do* you have that sword?"

Wufei: ((thinks a minute)) "… Onna's dig it."

Gerrod: ((begins dipping fingers absent-mindedly into whipped cream on Wufei and licking it off))

Wufei: ((looking at Gerrod, mouth open slightly)) "Ehehehhhh… um…"

Duo: "You were saying, Wuffie?"

Wufei: "… And it stabs stuff… It's sharp… I like swords… Shiny…" ((still watching Gerrod eat whipped cream off him))

Duo: ((snickering)) "Onnas… riiiiiiiiight."

Heero: "Baka. Maxwell, get over here. Don't you think you've tortured him enough for the day?"

Duo: "…To tell the truth, I didn't really think that was possible."

Heero: "Oh whatever."((grabs Duo by belt loop and hauls him over to a corner.)) "I'll even play spin the bottle with you."

Duo: "But Quatre and Trowa seem to be… Busy."

Heero: "And your point is…?"

Duo: ((blank stare, then big grin)) "Okie dokie. Whatever you say, Hee-chan. As long as I spin first!"

Gerrod: "I like whipped cream."

Wufei: /Great Nataku, so do I…/

Gerrod: I also like sushi. ((draws a smiley-face in whipped cream on Wufei's chest))

Wufei: /whipped cream is a glorious food…/

Gerrod: I wonder what sushi is like with whipped cream… ((licks a blob of whipped cream off Wufei's shoulder))

Wufei: /I really need to write to whoever invented this stuff and… and… ehhhhhhhh/

Gerrod: "Are you usually this quiet?"

---

Meanwhile, about 8 feet away…

Trowa: "Uh, Quatre, what are those on your boxers?"

Quatre: "Ummmmm… Teacups?" /damn… someone noticed./

Trowa: "That looks like a whip… and those look like handcuffs…"

Quatre: "You're hallucinating. Those are tea cups."

Trowa: "Are you sure? I don't FEEL like I'm hallucinating… what was in that imaginary tea?"

Quatre: "Um… Magic mushrooms."

Trowa: "Imaginary magic mushrooms?"

Quatre: "Uh, yeah. Of course! They're good for… uh… sand flea bites. You know, in the desert… Yeeeeah."

Trowa: "Sand flea bites? Are there bugs in this room?"

Quatre: "Only imaginary ones."

Trowa: "This still doesn't explain why there's whips and handcuffs all over your boxers."

Quatre: "I TOLD you, those are TEA CUPS!"

---

In a random corner…

Heero: (wearing a rhinestone tiara and leather choker) "Okay, it's my damn turn to spin the bottle."

Duo: "But I was just having fun!" ((hides an eyeliner pencil behind his back))

Heero: "Why is it that every time YOU start having fun, I end up in bizarre costumes and/or makeup?"

Duo: "…Or naked."

Heero: "There was that."

Duo: "You're complaining?"

Heero: "No."

Duo: "Good. Didn't think so. Now spin already."

Heero: "What's the point? There's only two of us, anyway. We know who it's gonna land on."

Duo: "It's more fun if you spin. Especially if you spin and it accidentally ends up hitting someone in the head."

Wufei: "OW! Damn Shinigami!"

Duo: "… Like Wufei. See, wasn't that fun?"

Heero: "If you say so. Now I dare you to strip naked, coat yourself in microwavable fudge, and let me lick it off."

Duo: "As entertaining as that sounds, I think we're gonna have to wait till we get out of here for that."

Heero: "And why the hell is that?"

Duo: "Well, mainly because we're in a room with four other people…"

Heero: "Well, seeing as Quatre and Trowa are switching between analyzing each other's underwear and making out like bandits… And here I thought you were always such an exhibitionist…"

Duo: "Yeah, you're right. But in any case, I don't have any microwavable fudge, and I don't feel like asking Trowa if HE has any at the moment…"

Heero: "Good point. Okay, fine. I dare you to steal Wufei's sword and coat it with peanut butter. We still have half a tube."

Duo: "Are you trying to get me killed? If you want your own room, you just have to ask, you know."

Heero: "No, I don't want my own room. Look at Wufei."

Wufei: (Taking turns with Gerrod in licking whipped cream off of each other) "Eheheh…"

Duo: "Damn, you're right. Okay, then."

Gerrod: "Wow. This is even more fun than sneaking around Vulture ships!"

Wufei: "I don't know what a Vulture ship is, but I'd be inclined to agree…"

Gerrod: "… Although there was that one time when I snuck in on Robea and Witz making out in the rec room on the pool table… that was pretty great. Voyeurism is fun too."

Wufei: "What is this sticking out of your pocket?"

Gerrod: "Oh, that's my tube of knock-out powder. It's useful in being sneaky and stealthy… See?" ((Blows powder at Quatre and Trowa))

Quatre: "They are NOT whips and handcuffs! I'm TELLING you"- CLUNK.

Trowa: "Do you REALLY think there's BUGS in here?"-CLONK.

Wufei: "Damn, that's cool. What else do you have in your pants?"

Gerrod: "Wow. Strait-forward, aren't we?"

Wufei: ((spluttering and blushing)) "I… what… I… shit… that is NOT what I meant…"

Gerrod: "Geez, relax. I know what you meant. Oh, and just so you know, that braided guy just stole your katana and is smearing what looks like peanut butter all over it… from a tube no less. Hm… I didn't know they made peanut butter in tubes… weird…"

Wufei: "WHAT?!?!?! Maxwell, you… you… AIYIIIII!! My katana!!! My shiny, shiny katana!"

Duo: "Uhoh…"

Wufei: "Maxwell!!!!!!! Yuy! Did you have something to do with this??!?"

Heero: "Whatever makes you think that?"

Wufei: "… I'd like to say that your wearing a rhinestone tiara and leather collar have something to do with it, but I'm having a hard time making a connection here…"

Heero: ((muttering to Wufei)) "If you never mention this tiara again, I won't say anything about the lime green chibi bunnies on your boxers."

Wufei: "What?!?! How did you know about…?" ((looks down)) "…Why is my fly unzipped?"

Gerrod: *Loud Coughing Fit*

Time: 15:27:42

Mission Time Elapsed: 06:45:23…

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