Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Contemplation Indigo ❯ Corporal Stripe ( Chapter 15 )

Corporal Stripe

By DRL

I stroll through the grounds and messuages of the Barton-Winner estate with a heavy tread and an even heavier heart. Spring is just around the corner and the gardens, absolutely beautiful at the height of summer, are dull and uninspiring. Quatre & Trowa's gardeners have done their level best and the grounds are neat, trim and tidy, but being out here has utterly failed to lift my mood. It would have been the same back home in France, I concede with a sigh of resignation. No garden can look its best at this time of year, not even my own. Had this happened at home, I would have done the same thing - fled to the garden in an attempt to calm my turbid emotions, with an equal lack of success I daresay.

In mitigation for my behaviour, I suppose I have been a little tense for some days now. Wufei's recovery from his eye surgery has not been as straightforward as we had all hoped, much to his annoyance and my consternation. He has a tendency towards glaucoma, which was a complication that exacerbated his original condition and is now hindering his recovery. It causes some quite severe symptoms, such as headaches, dizziness and sometimes nausea and when in the grip of these, Fei's spirits sink quite considerably. Knowing from past experience that his is a nature prone to fits of depression, this has been worrying me greatly but I am at a loss as to what to do about it. Duo Maxwell-Yuy, who's naturally exuberant and garrulous presence usually has a magically uplifting effect on Fei at such times, is out of town with Heero, so even this resource is lost to me. Thank goodness for my private secretary Jarvis, is all I can say right now. His being here, working with Fei on the arrangements for our wedding vow renewal ceremony, has taken Fei's mind off his health problems so he has not been too bad of late, but nevertheless… My mind is still far from easy about the situation, and yesterday my worst fears were realised.

Fei had been laid low by a severe headache, and his nurse Hugo administered some medication and confined him to bed, the sterling fellow. I sat with him for a while, and he eventually drifted into a light doze. One inevitable consequence of Jarvis's being here is that we invariably end up discussing the various business and administrative matters that he is employed to attend to on my behalf, and this was ultimately the root cause of the near-tragedy that followed.

While I was sitting with Fei, Johannes, the Barton-Winners' butler, came to me with a message from Jarvis, saying that he would like to speak to me at my convenience. Well like a fool, and without a thought for poor Fei, I immediately betook myself to the study, which Jarvis has quite taken over. Luckily Quatre & Trowa have a rule that they never break, which is that their time at their respective offices is for work and their time at home is for each other and for their friends. This means that they never really use the study and Jarvis has been given the green light to 'knock himself out', as Duo Maxwell-Yuy would say. The outcome of this thoughtless action on my part was that Fei woke up, grew bored with lying alone in a darkened room and decided to come looking for me. While descending that beautiful, but under these circumstances quite dangerous sweeping staircase that leads from the second storey of the house to the ground floor, He suddenly fell prey to a dizzy spell, lost his equilibrium and fell almost half the flight to the hall floor. He was not seriously hurt as it turned out, just a few bumps and bruises, but he could have been. My god, he could have been... It can't have done his eyes any good either. 'No trauma' Dr Scrivener said. Well I'd say that this was most definitely a trauma, and no mistake.

The whole thing was my fault, of course. I should never have left him in the first place, and having done so, I should have asked Hugo to step in and sit with him while I was out of the room. It would have been a simple matter and after all, it's what I pay him for. Bloody fool! How could I have done such a stupid thing? I'm supposed to be taking care of him and this is what I allow to happen. I shall silence my critics right now and admit that yes, I am wallowing in self-pity somewhat, but I reserve the right to do so. Wufei is my husband; nothing should be more important to me than him, but in times of crisis, times when he needs me most, I seem to be quite adept at finding myself elsewhere. Several weeks ago, after promising to stay with him, I left his side after his eye surgery and allowed him to come round from the anaesthetic effectively blind, alone and frightened in a strange place - and now this. I am, of course, consumed with guilt over yesterday's incident, which is probably why I acted the way I did just now and why I am presently skulking away in the garden.

As soon as I awoke this morning the day begun badly, and it went downhill from then onward. I went from fast asleep to wide awake in an instant, which is a thing I never do, usually spending a minute or two in a kind of semi-conscious trance before slipping from one state to the other. Having awoken thus rudely, I soon realised that Fei was not spooned up against me as he usually does when we sleep. At first I assumed that he had gone to relieve himself in the bathroom, but as I slid a hand across the place where he had lain, I found it to be cold. Fei had evidently been gone for some time. A frisson of alarm ran through me, and suddenly fearful lest he had been taken ill, I threw back the bedspread and swung my legs to the floor. I switched on a bedside lamp and read the time on my wristwatch by its light. I always wear it to bed, which is a thing that always causes Fei great mirth because he can see no reason why. It was almost 06:15, a little early for him to be up and about without good reason, which only lent weight to my fears.

I padded briskly to the en-suite bathroom, and entered the separate lavatory without knocking. Fei and I have been married for fourteen years, far too long for there to be modesty of any kind between us. We have absolutely nothing to hide from each other. "Fei, are you alright?" I said as I entered, but to my surprise I found the small room to be empty. I returned to the bedroom, pausing to absently pull on a pair of pyjama bottoms and a robe to cover my nakedness before setting out in search of my errant husband.

As I began my search the house was dark and silent, and not a soul besides myself appeared to be stirring. This was not surprising since it was a Saturday and Quatre & Trowa had no work to go to so there was no need for them to be abroad at such an hour, consequently the servants' day could start a little later also. I began with the most likely places, such as the library, gym and study, without success. As I extended my search to other parts of the house which were less likely, I encountered one or two of the domestic staff, whom I promptly recruited. Large as the house was, we searched it from top to bottom and then from bottom to top, just to be sure and with the three of us looking, it soon became clear that wherever Wufei was, he was nowhere within the Barton-Winner mansion.

By the time I had reluctantly accepted this fact a whole hour had passed and the house was beginning to stir. Numbly, I returned to our bedroom and rapidly dressed myself, availing myself of the opportunity to check to see whether any note or message had been left. I had, of course, done this before but one does these futile things at such times, looking in places where one has looked before without success, hoping against hope that by some miracle whatever it was one sought would magically appear. Well needless to say, nothing did. Everything was as it was when we went to bed last night. All of his clothes and shoes were present and correct (as far as I was able to discern anyway) and no messages were left. Even his cellphone was still lying in a draw beside mine, where he had thrown it on the day we arrived here. It has lain there ever since, inert and silent since he has had no real need of it, never really having left the house from that day to this.

It was this fact that made the whole thing so perplexing... and so worrying. Wufei has not left the Barton-Winner house since our arrival after his discharge from the hospital. True enough, he has been to Heero & Duo's apartment once or twice, but this could hardly be termed 'going out' since he was picked up outside the front door, conveyed to the apartment by car and then went straight from the parking garage beneath their apartment building to the apartment via that special elevator they have that goes directly up to the penthouse, bypassing all other floors. Unfortunately for Fei, these were not very successful visits. Heero & Duo's apartment is very white and very bright. That large wall-window that they have, breathtaking though the view from it is, lets in an awful lot of light, and this is just what Fei can very much do without right now. The problem was that they had no means of shuttering the window, not previously having had any need to do so. Heero has since spoken to a company about some sort of electronic shuttering system, but until this has been installed I would really rather Fei not go back there, unless it was after dark perhaps. The Barton-Winner mansion is not exactly what one would call a dark house, but at least the curtains can be drawn.

Since discovering Wufei's absence that morning, a knot of fear and apprehension had been steadily growing within me, tightening and constricting my gut until it had reached a point where I could scarcely breathe. At that stage I dared not even think about what might have happened to him, although such thoughts were difficult to dispel. I left the room and descended the stairs on leaden feet. As I descended I saw Trowa & Quatre standing in the hall, deep in serious conversation with Jarvis and the butler Johannes. Johannes had obviously ignored my orders to him not to wake the young masters. The disappearance of a guest under their very roof was something that he obviously felt they should be informed of without delay, and I don't say that he wasn't right, but still, I hated to disturb them. Trowa, who was standing directly facing the staircase, was the first to spot me. He followed me discreetly with his eyes as I came down the stairs, but said nothing and gave no further reaction. Quatre however, suddenly paused in the middle of the statement he was making and turned to face me. He had had his back to me and so could not possibly have seen me. I'm sure I made no sound and Trowa definitely did not give away my presence by any sign or gesture of his own, so I suppose that it was Quatre's famous empathic powers that told him that there was a soul in torment at six o'clock. The worry and trepidation I felt must have been written all over my face because as he turned, his own worried frown melted into a look filled with such sympathy and understanding that it was all I could do not to burst into tears right there and then. My eyes definitely welled up, so I was grateful for the distraction when he advanced upon me and enfolded me in his arms.

"Treize, I'm so sorry." He said earnestly, as though he were personally responsible for the whole situation.

When he eventually released me from his embrace we repaired to a small but comfortable sitting room just off the hallway. Trowa, ever the practical one, quizzed me minutely about the circumstances of Wufei's disappearance while Quatre fussed over me and ordered Johannes to bring me a cup of hot, sweet tea. I don't mind admitting, I would sooner have had a shot of good, hard liquor, but I'm sure he meant well. I told then all I could, which was almost nothing. While I was speaking a few of the servants came in to report that they had searched the grounds, as Trowa had asked them to do and had come up empty. I was not in the least surprised. Dawn had not yet broken when I had discovered Wufei's absence. What would he be doing in the garden in the dark, especially when he could barely see in broad daylight?

At this point Trowa decided that it was time to alert the authorities, and asked me whether I would mind if he contacted the police. I have to say that my heart leaped at this suggestion, because it tacitly implied that something untoward had happened to my Fei. This was a thought that I had been carefully pushing to the back of my mind all morning, but now I had no option but to look it dead in the face.

"Dear God!" I groaned, and bowed my head, covering my face with my hands. Quatre, who was seated beside me, placed an arm round my shoulders and drew me gently to him. Dumbly, I nodded my acquiescence and Trowa withdrew, doubtless to carry out his suggestion. I remained with Quatre in the sitting room, his gently murmured platitudes and words of comfort washing vainly over me, while my mind play out, with cold precision, the many dreadful and unpleasant things that could be happening to Wufei right at that very moment. The reality could never have been worse than the horrors that my over-active mind conjured up and when I could stand it no longer, I tore myself away from Quatre's embrace and rose from the sofa.

"I can't just sit here Quatre, I have to do something, I have to find him." I said, and made for the door. Quatre had risen also. He followed after me and caught me by the arm, but whether to prevent me (thought I seriously doubt whether he would have been able to) or to support me I never discovered, since at that point the door suddenly opened, and Trowa re-entered the room, followed by a silver-haired man, dressed as though for a round of golf, in plaid slacks, polo shirt and v-necked sweater. Quatre gave the newcomer a wan but grateful smile as he entered.

"Paul, thank-you for coming so quickly." He said, and he introduced the man to me as Paul Ashcroft, Commissioner of Police for the district. In spite of everything, I raised an eyebrow in surprise, although I don't know why. I should have expected no less of a turnout for the Barton-Winners. Two uniformed officers had also entered the room, and these turned out to be the chief and assistant chief of police. When Trowa said he was calling in the police, he really meant it! No merely dialling 999 (911) for Quatre & Trowa.

These three men subjected me to a tactful but thorough interrogation for almost an hour, asking questions that ranged from why we were here in the first place, through whether Wufei had ever done anything of the kind before, to what he liked to eat for breakfast. I wished to god I could have told them that yes, Fei did this sort of thing all the time, but this was the most worrying aspect of the whole thing. Fei never went anywhere without letting me know... never. Back at home, even after we have had a little bit of a tiff, though he cannot quite bring himself to tell me directly, he always leaves a message via one of the staff, telling me where he has gone and roughly when he will be back. The whole thing was so completely out of character for him, which made it so hard to accept that he had left of his own volition, although this was always a possibility.

When they had finished the chief and his assistant withdrew to marshal their forces. Commissioner Ashcroft remained for a short while, simply to assure me that no effort would be spared in the search for Wufei and that squads of officers were already combing the area. He also told me that he had ordered a complete news blackout on the story, so at least the mansion would not be beset by reporters and the like. I was particularly grateful for this for Quatre & Trowa's sake. His parting words caused me even greater worry however. Before leaving he said that the most plausible theory was that Wufei had been kidnapped for ransom and that if a ransom demand was indeed made, under no circumstances was I to enter into negotiations with the kidnappers or accede to their demands, but that he was to be informed immediately. I asked if there was anything I could do but predictably, he told me that the best thing I could do was sit and wait for news.

When he had gone I sat in silence for a while, his words resounding around my head - 'kidnapped for ransom'. I recalled reading somewhere that most kidnap victims were killed within hours of their capture. I know that under normal circumstances, Wufei is more than capable of looking after himself in almost any situation, which is why I am not too insistent on his being accompanied by bodyguards everywhere he goes. After all, I was not born yesterday and I am well aware what an excellent kidnap target he is. However, these are far from normal circumstances. Fei's vision is severely impaired at the moment (although it is improving all the time), and he is in an extremely delicate condition, what with his recovery not going so well and the glaucoma's debilitating symptoms. Throughout my interview with the police Quatre had been sitting beside me on the leather sofa, a thin arm solicitously around my shoulders and his free hand clasping mine. I was very grateful to him for this, because somehow his mere presence calmed and soothed me. Now, I once again tore myself free from his ministrations and got to my feet. Sit and wait for news? Not bloody likely! I made for the door, but as I did so I heard something of a commotion taking place in the entrance hall just outside. I paused for a moment with my hand on the door handle, listening to the excited murmur of voices, then my heart soared as I picked out one very familiar, very cherished voice. It was Wufei. I threw open the door and rushed out into the hall.

In the centre of the entrance hall was a rough circle of uniformed police officers, and in the centre of them, 'O frabjous day' [1] was Wufei, 'My beamish boy' [2], flanked on either side by Jarvis and Trowa. As I had heard from inside the sitting room, there appeared to be some altercation in progress, but nothing of what was said registered with me, although it was all perfectly audible. I almost swooned from the wave of relief that swept over me as I saw the husband I never thought to see again, standing not twenty feet from me and arguing for all he was worth, for all the world as though he had not a care besides making his rather vociferous point. Quatre had followed me out of the sitting room and though I expected him to engulf Wufei in an effusive welcome, he surprised me by remaining at my side and placing a supporting arm about my waist as I swayed unsteadily.

"It's alright," he said quietly to me, "He's not hurt." Empathic powers again I concluded, since as he said this my eyes were frantically scanning Wufei's body for signs of violence. Reassured on this point my turbid emotions began to undergo a transition. Five minutes previously, had I been asked what I would have done had Wufei suddenly appeared before me, hale, hearty and on fighting form, I would have sworn that I would have taken him in my arms, clasped him to my breast and never let him go. Inexplicably though, as I watched the spectacle, this was the last thing I felt like doing. As I stood in that hall regarding Wufei, dressed as he was in a sweatshirt and jogging pants, all I wanted to do was to take him by the shoulders and shake him to within an inch of his life. Quatre must have sensed this too, because his arm around my waist tightened and he said "Treize, no!" in a shocked whisper. From Wufei's attire I thought I could guess what had happened and the clearer it became, the angrier I became.

"Chang Wufei, just where do you think you've been?" I said, and under the circumstances, I'm quite proud of the calm but stentorian voice in which I delivered this statement and the sang froid I managed to maintain. A tense silence fell as all eyes turned toward me.

"Treize!" Wufei exclaimed with a flattering mixture of pleasure and apology. He took a few quick steps toward me..., and then stopped dead in his tracks. His apologetic smile gave way to a frown of confusion as he looked at me. If my face was anything like I felt, it must have looked like a storm cloud.

"Where. Have. You. Been?" I asked again equally as sternly, punctuating each word. Wufei shrank visibly. He knew he was in trouble. During our long years of marriage, although he loses his temper with me fairly regularly (it's nothing but bluster really, and usually not for anything I have actually done myself), I could count the number of times I myself have really gotten angry with him on the fingers of one hand.

"I…, I went for a jog." He stammered, then stood there, chewing his lower lip like a recalcitrant schoolboy.

Good old Trowa, practical, dependable Trowa, in obvious anticipation of the domestic contretemps that was about to ensue, began to round up the police officers and ushered them out of the house with profuse apologies and fulsome thanks. Quatre picked up the cue and suggested that we step into the sitting room he and I had just left because we could 'talk more comfortably' there. Quatre is an absolute pet, but he can be so mealy mouthed at times. I gestured for Wufei to enter the room, followed him in, closed the door and leaned against, effectively preventing his egress. Although this was not my reason for taking up this stance, I fully realised that this is how it would appear to Wufei.

"Well?" I demanded, and in true Wufei fashion, he began with his usual first line of defence - righteous indignation.

"Why are you so angry with me, I went for a jog, I told you. I can't see anything wrong with that." He said tartly, and do you know, I really believe that he couldn't? Well, in the tirade that followed, I told him just what was wrong with it.

"Have you any idea how much trouble you have caused this morning?" I asked him. "You decide to go for a jog, you tell no one, leave no message, for goodness sake, you don't even take a cellphone with you. You are not exactly in the peak of health at the moment. What would have happened if you had been taken ill? Remember what happened on the staircase yesterday? What if you had had another dizzy spell? And going off alone like that at such an ungodly hour. Surely I don't need to remind you that there are some unscrupulous people out there who would consider you a very valuable asset, and before you bore me with the old adage that you can look after yourself, as far as I am concerned, until those eyes of yours have completely healed and you have a visual range of more than two feet, I consider you as helpless as a newborn babe." And I'm afraid I meant it to sting.

"Have you any idea of the anguish you have put Quatre & Trowa through this morning? A guest goes missing from under their very roof, how do you think they felt about that? Is this the way you repay their hospitality? Not to mention the time and effort that everyone took in searching for you, the domestic staff, Quatre, Trowa, Jarvis, even the police, as if they haven't got enough to do. And all of this because you felt like going for a jog. With not a thought for anyone else or for the consequences of your selfish actions, you just haul off and do exactly as you please. Well Wufei, I really hope you enjoyed that jog, because I would hate to think that you put everyone through all of that for nothing." I paused and looked at him. He stared at me slack jawed and wide-eyed, gaped like a fish a few times, but said nothing. I continued. "I think you owe everyone in this house an apology for the all the trouble you caused them today, especially Quatre & Trowa. Now go upstairs and see Hugo for your medication, it's long overdue." He rallied and began to say something but I cut him off. "GO UPSTAIRS!" I said sternly, raising my voice for the first time.

I opened the door and stood beside it with my arms folded across my chest. He scuttled past me out of the room, eyes downcast. Suddenly though, as he passed he looked up at me, obsidian eyes doleful and tragic.

"Treize please...," He said, but I pointedly turned my head to look in the opposite direction. He continued out into the hall with quick, purposeful steps, ran up the sweeping staircase and disappeared among the maze of corridors on the first floor.

Thoroughly perturbed by what had just happened, I went out to the garden and I have been here ever since. I was unnecessarily cruel and unpleasant to Wufei, but if I could do it over, I would do the same again. I'm sure a psychoanalyst would have had a field day with me and my little outburst. I mentioned everyone else's anguish and worry at his absence but never once did I mention myself, and let's face it, that's who I was really talking about. I never mentioned myself, but it was my anguish I was really referring to, my worry and my torment. I transferred all of my own emotions to everyone else concerned. I don't know why I did this, but I'm sure an analyst could tell you. When I think of all of the things that could have happened to him this morning I feel sick to my stomach, although the fact that it is almost lunch time and I have not yet had a morsel to eat might have something to do with this.

I lower myself onto a wrought iron bench and make up my mind to stay ten minutes more before going back to the house to check on Fei. It is still early in the year and the air is chilly. I came out in my shirtsleeves since, having sent Fei upstairs to our room 'in disgrace', I considered it impolitic to go up there to fetch a jacket or coat or something. So after ten more freezing, joyless minutes on the bench, I return to the house, shivering and even more out of sorts that when I went out there. I am not one who bears discomfort easily or graciously.

Firstly, I go in search of Quatre and Trowa and I find them in the library, snuggled sweetly together in that large, gold, leopard skin chair that they seem to favour so much. There is a book on the side table, open and resting on its leaves, but if they ever were reading it they certainly are not now, their attention clearly centred on each other. They look so contented and happy, and so completely in love that the sight of them draws an indulgent smile from me, in spite of my mood. They tell me that they have been in to see Wufei, that they elicited the whole story from him, and that he is very sorry about the entire incident and extremely upset that I am so angry with him. Before taking my leave I begin to apologise to them for the trouble they have been put to but they wave away my apology and implore me not to give the matter a second thought, assuring me that Wufei's turning up fit and well (relatively speaking anyway) was worth twice the inconvenience, and I am reminded again why I love them both so much.

I then hasten on to mine and Wufei's room, because I feel that poor Fei has been made to suffer enough and I am anxious to make sure that he is well. As soon as I open the door I am dismayed to see that the curtains have been drawn. This usually heralds a migraine attack. I look across at the bed and see the slight figure lying beneath the coverlet, with its back to me. I walk around the bed and kneel before him. His eyes are closed but I don't think he is asleep.

"Fei?" I say and I smooth his hair back from his brow. He opens his eyes and the look of barely suppressed pleasure and eager hope in his eyes brings tears pricking at my mine. I know what will give him the most comfort at this moment, so I toe off my shoes, peel back the bedspread and slide in beside him. He is instantly in my arms, entwining his limbs with mine and burying his head in my chest.

"I'm so sorry Treize." He says sincerely.

"Don't worry about it my pet, just tell me what happened." I implore him gently. He proceeds to tell me how he woke early this morning feeling particularly bright and breezy, after his misfortune the day before. He lay awake for a while hoping I would wake also but when I failed to do so and loath to wake me himself, he decided to go down to the gym to pass the time and to limber up a little. On the way there it suddenly dawned on him how much he would prefer a jog out in the fresh pre-dawn air, rather than on a treadmill in the artificially air-conditioned gym. Acting on this impulse, he simply walked out of the front door as he was, taking nothing with him and leaving no message. He contritely confessed that he did suffer a dizzy spell while he was out jogging, and he actually passed out. He was discovered and assisted by a man who was out walking his dog. The man took Wufei to his home until he came to, however, Fei was a little disorientated when he finally came round, and was not immediately able to give the man his address. When he was finally able to do this, several hours had elapsed and when the man drove Fei back to the Barton-Winner mansion, they found the place swarming with police. In the ensuing confusion the man slipped away, and Fei has no idea who he was.

"I know it was a really stupid thing to do, and I'm really, really sorry." He says. I pause for a long moment before I speak.

"I thought I would never see you again Fei." I say, my voice choked with emotion, "I just kept imagining you lying somewhere, beaten or tortured, or perhaps even worse, calling out for me, and me not able to help you. I imagined such horrible things Fei, such horrible things." By this time tears are streaming down my cheeks and my breath comes in ragged, hitching sobs. I weep openly, as I clasp him to me and murmur sweet, nonsensical endearments to him through my tears. This has been a day filled with emotions of one sort or another for me, which have finally come to a head and as I weep, albeit belatedly, with relief at having my Fei restored to me whatever the circumstances, I silently vow that, as much as I loved, cherished and protected him before, I shall do so all the more in future because having been faced with the reality of having to do so, however briefly, I am convinced that I could never live without him.

[1], [2] -From 'Jabberwocky' by Lewis Carroll