Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Crossing Paths Arc ❯ Speed ( Chapter 36 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Kracken

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warning:Male/male sex, graphic, language, violence.

Crossing Paths

Speed


"Duo, Duo, slow down!" Heero chuckled as Duo pushed him into the bunk of his ship and climbed on top.

Duo busily undid the shirt of Heero's Preventer shirt, grinning widely as he said, "Been too long. I want you... now."

Heero looked at his watch playfully. "Nine hours? I suppose that is too long." He reached up and took hold of Duo's face with both hands, pulling him down for a deep kiss, but Duo didn't want to hold still for it. He pulled back and opened Heero's shirt, hands sliding inside.

Heero frowned. "Duo? Are you all right?"

Duo laughed as he tweaked Heero's nipples. "Hell, yes! Better than I've felt in years."

Heero searched Duo's face. "You look... your skin isn't so pale and ... I'm not sure what it is... You look more alive, more excited than I've seen you look in some time."

"Let's take advantage of it," Duo urged in a sexy tone of voice and began unzipping Heero's pants.

Heero checked his watch more seriously now. "Twenty minutes, love. Sorry. I have a mission meeting."

"That's enough," Duo breathed against Heero's neck and reached to a side table for the lube. He didn't hand it to Heero. "You know," he said. "You always get to be on top. I think it's my turn."

Heero smirked. "You're always welcome to be on top, Duo," he chuckled and cupped Duo's ass with his hands.

Duo was shook his head, determined. "No, on top, lover," he stressed.

Heero's hands tightened, kneaded, and then Duo was looking down into his tense face. "I... I don't think..," Heero began

Duo frowned. "Are you going to tell me that Heero Yuy doesn't bottom?"

Heero frowned. There was a long silence and then he said, almost under his breath, "All right."

Duo grinned again. "Don't worry, I'll be gentle."

The drugs were still running strong and Duo felt virile and able to dominate Heero for the first time in their relationship. He growled, nibbled, stroked, and then prepared his lover. Heero tried to stay calm and compliant, but his face betrayed him. He was tensing and almost fighting when Duo lifted his legs and took a position between them.

"So'kay, baby," Duo said softly and nibbled at Heero's lips. "I know how to do this."

There was a stitch in Duo's chest. He ignored it. His lungs felt tight. A buzz was starting in his ears.

"Duo," Heero said, his voice tight. His dark blue eyes looked out from under his fall of chocolate hair, worried. "I... I don't know..."

"I do," Duo soothed. "Let me do this. Love you."

Heero took a steadying breath. "Love you," he returned and gritted his teeth.

A pain bloomed in Duo's chest. He gasped. The pain sizzled down his arm and he choked on a cry.

"Duo, what is it?!" Heero shouted but Duo couldn't see him through the red haze of pain. He felt hands take hold of him and their positions were suddenly reversed.

"N-No fair," Duo managed. "I-I almost had you."

Flat on his back, Duo suddenly couldn't breathe. He struggled and Heero understood. He propped him up on pillows and the weight on his chest eased. He heard Heero frantically calling emergency services.

"Duo?" Heero called. "Tell me what you're feeling?"

"Chest," Duo replied. "Hurts... arm... Heero?"

Heero gripped his hand hard.

He was in trouble. The pills were killing him, Duo knew. His body had been too weak to even reach the recommended time limit. He had to admit it to Heero that he had taken drugs. He briefly entertained the thought that death might be better, but another wave of pain shook him out of that thinking.

"Stupid," Duo managed as he pulled Heero's hand to his face. "I- I took Red Hots. One dose. First time."

"Shit, Duo!" Heero exclaimed in anguish and he heard Heero talking to emergency personnel in frantic tones. "Emergency dock and evac," he finished.

Heero kissed Duo's hand. "I have to prep the ship and undock mine to make room for emergency," he told Duo. "They're ready to treat you on board before taking you to the station." His grip was painful, but not as painful as Duo's chest. "Duo... why?"

"Didn't want to lose," Duo replied and then tried to stay alive until help arrived.



"Duo?" The name was whispered again and again into Duo's ear. He tried to concentrate on it, tried to allow it to bring him back to consciousness, but it was hard. He drifted, fell into bad dreams, and then was slowly, but surely, carried up on a tide of awareness.

"Duo?" A tired called softly, without much hope.

Duo blinked and then something tried to crush his right hand.

"Duo?!" The voice shouted, elated now.

"Ow," Duo whispered back, mouth dry as a desert. "Need hand back."

The crushing pressure on his hand eased and ... yes, it was Heero, Duo decided, who said, "Sorry... are you really awake?"

"Yeah." Duo made a face. "Water."

A straw was put to Duo's lips and he sipped cool water. He tried to focus his eyes while he drank. First the straw, then the rim of the cup, and then... a pair of dark blue eyes. Duo smiled and his dry lips stretched painfully.

"How do you feel?" Heero asked tenderly and brushed strands of hair from Duo's forehead.

"Okay," Duo replied, but then amended, "Tired... fuzzy... but alive. Alive is good. Good enough for you to go ahead and yell at me."

Heero scowled, but it lacked strength "Duo...can you tell me what happened?"

"Dunno," Duo sighed miserably. He picked at his blankets while he took in his surroundings. He was in a hospital room, he decided. Monitors were tracking his heart rate and condition, and wires and IVs were attached to his arms.

Heero's silence brought Duo's attention back to him. His lover was looking... disappointed and hurt. Duo suddenly knew that it wasn't his reaction to the drugs that Heero was asking about, but his lack of trust and his willingness to do something stupid and illegal because of it.

Duo felt a pain in his chest that had nothing to do with his heart and everything to do with his love for Heero. It was so hard to let the man in to the darker side of himself. Everything had happened because of that reluctance.

"Heero," Duo took another long drink of water to steady himself and then stared hard at his hands, twisted in the blankets, as he confessed, "I... I was afraid of failing."

Heero sighed, shifted so that he was facing Duo as much as he could manage, and then said, "Why can't you understand that I am here for you, to help you? Why do you have to hide from me?"

"Heero.... You're everything I'm not," Duo confessed. "It's hard... just trying to be good enough."

Heero leaned down so that both of his hands were resting on either side of Duo. Heero's face was very close to his own, but Duo still refused to look up."When are you going to stop thinking that way?"

"When it isn't true!" Duo snapped back and then bit his bottom lip hard. He struggled for control, feeling ready to collapse again. "Can't we... not argue now? I did just about have heart failure..."

"You did, actually," Heero bit back. "You died for fifteen seconds before the medics were able to put you on a machine."

Duo felt a chill. His hand left off torturing the blankets and pressed flat against the middle of his chest. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Heero confirmed. "They stabilized you and injected nanobots to repair the damage, you'll be fine.... but that doesn't change the fact that you lied to me, broke the law, and refused to let me know that you were having trouble. I can't live like this, Duo. I can't be with you if I can't trust you.... if you can't trust me."

Duo shivered. "What..." It came out as a hoarse whisper. He cleared his throat, stunned. "Are you," he tried again, "Are you leaving me?"

Heero glared."I think I would die if I did," he confessed, "but this is a kind of death, too, only slower."

Time to come clean, Duo knew, because, above all else; work, pride, and his need to succeed, was his love for Heero.

"It's hard," Duo told him.

"I know," Heero replied. He backed up and stood quietly by Duo's bed, instinctively knowing that Duo needed that space.

"You have to know," Duo began, "I... when I look in the mirror, I see a pathetic shell of what I used to be. No matter how many weights I lift, or therapies I force my body through, I'm not going to be that again. I don't..." Duo felt weak and too vulnerable. He didn't want to go on, but he forced himself to. "I don't see why you want me. When I think about it, I wonder if you're not some kind of pervert. I mean, if you were normal you'd want someone who could at least... look like he belonged with you.... So," he hurried on, afraid what Heero would say, "What have I got if I don't have a body any sane person would want? I should at least have some success, some brains, and some ability to take care of myself. But, I couldn't even do that. I knew I was screwing it up. I knew I needed to not fail, so... I took the Red Hot, just one... To get me through a tough spot."

"Duo," Heero finally said and clasped Duo's hand in his. Duo dared to look in his eyes and saw sympathy and understanding there. "The solution wasn't Red Hots... I was." Duo blinked at him, confused. Heero sighed and continued, "Several of your clients traced you to medical. They told me that they were afraid of harassment by your competitors and that you had been protecting them. Duo, I only had to make a phone call to Preventers to have the men harassing your clients arrested. I could have helped you with your runs, helped you pick good, reliable men to be your employees, and , yes, given you credits to help pay for them. You only had to ask. I wouldn't have judged you... I would have felt loved, included, needed... important to you." He caressed Duo's cheek and leaned close as he said intensely, "When will you understand that I want you? That I think you are handsome and desirable? I-I am not a freak for thinking it. Look in my eyes. See yourself in them. See what I see."

Duo lifted a weak and shaking arm and draped it behind Heero's neck. He pulled him in for a kiss and then pushed his forehead against Heero's. "I don't think everyone else sees me the way you do," he grumbled.

"Who else matters?" Heero wondered with a smirk. "Unless you are planning on being with other men?"

"Hard enough handling you," Duo sighed. He went serious and breathed, "Sorry for everything, Heero."

Heero replied, just as serious, "I don't need apologies."

Duo knew what he did need. He swallowed hard and then asked, "Heero Yuy... lover... as soon as I get out of this bed... mind helping me with my business?"

"I don't mind at all," Heero said with a smile and Duo drew him back in for another, grateful kiss.

The End