Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Crossing Paths Arc ❯ Slices ( Chapter 12 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Kracken

Disclaimer: I don't own them and I don't make any money off of this.
Warnings: Male/Male sex,graphic, violence, language, drug addiction.


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Slices #12

Duo counted all of his pills yet again while Heero talked to him
patiently and softly. Both of them were bruised and disheveled. Heero had a
split lip and a black eye. Duo had bruised ribs and arms that felt as
if Heero had almost pulled them out of the sockets. Sitting opposite
each other, at the table in Duo's room, the pills and the pill bottles
were between them. They had a truce of sorts, but it was tenuous at best.
Duo's eyes were wild, manic, his mind already working out a plan to
acquire more pills.

"You have enough for full doses for a week," Heero was saying, "after
that, I will have you reduce your dose gradually until all the pills
are gone."

"Two and a half weeks," Duo grated, fingers still busily counting and
putting the pills into their correct bottles. "I have to visit the
government doctors in two days. They'll prescribe me more."

"You will need to be at a full dose when they examine you. We don't
want them to get suspicious," Heero told him. "By the time of your next
appointment, if Quatre doesn't convince them to allow his own doctors to
treat you instead, you will be cured of your addiction-"

"Or dead," Duo cut in.

Heero nodded. A soldier through and through, he didn't soften a blow
when there was a dangerous mission to perform. "Or dead," he agreed. "If
you survive, we will need to get you off planet before they discover
what we have done."

"Well, Mr. Twenty Miracles Before Breakfast, Yuy," Duo snarled,
"Unless you plan to chain me, I'm getting more pills."

Heero reached out to touch a bottle. Duo slapped his hand away and
pulled the bottles closer to himself, the frantic fight still fresh in his
mind. Duo wasn't proud of his complete panic attack, but Heero had
shocked him to his core. He had expected something, a miracle, from Heero,
some training technique that would have allowed him to give up his
pills without pain. The last thing he had expected was for Heero to do
something as brutal as dumping and flushing half of his pills down the
toilet.

Heero was frowning, confused. "I thought that you had decided to trust
me and to give up your pills?"

"Not like that!" Duo snarled back, amethyst eyes flashing with fury.

"Then, how?" Heero wondered. Duo suspected sarcasm and anger, but
Heero's face showed only a raised eyebrow and a stony expression.

Duo frowned. He struggled with pride and embarrassment and then he
admitted. "I can't stop taking them... I can't decide to do that. I'll
fight you, Heero. I'll call you every dirty name in the book and I'll
probably try to hurt you again. You may not... you may not care about me by
the time this is over with."

Heero replied carefully, "Are you asking me to force you, Duo?"

Duo half turned away sourly, but he was scooping his pills into his
bag while he was doing it. "That's the problem, Heero. I can't 'ask' you
to do that. I don't want to give up the pills. That's what addiction's
all about."

Heero nodded, not revealing what he was thinking. Instead, he simply
began to speak as if Duo hadn't just spoken of refusing to give up the
drugs, "We will need to start your training immediately. Strengthening
exercises and physical control techniques will help you to regulate your
body when the withdrawal symptoms begin to manifest themselves. You
will also need to eat well for optimum functioning capability-"

"I'm not a machine Heero," Duo retorted, "Just tell me that I have to
do the impossible and leave it at that."

"Not very precise," Heero complained.

Duo smiled, but it was a thin veil over his anxiety. "I think it is,"
Duo shot back, but then shook his head wearily. "I'll still go along
with your workout program, Heero, that much I can do, but... the rest I
can't, and won't, promise. I know what I want and I know what I hope
for, but, right now, the drugs are stronger than those things." He flexed
his shoulders and winced. "Today, I have to bow out of the program
though. The stress, and the wrestling match we just had, on a hard tile
floor, kind of soured me for any other kind of fun."

"I didn't hurt you?" Heero wondered sharply.

Duo flexed his arms and shoulders again "They still work, but they
hurt."

"I was forced to immobilize you," Heero apologized, "I miscalculated.
I didn't realize that you would attack me so forcefully. You are
stronger than I imagined you to be."

Duo grinned, "I bet you say that to all the cute, scrawny guys."

"Hn," was Heero's dour reply, either not understanding the joke or not
appreciating it. Duo thought that it might be both.

"Is your eye all right?" Duo asked, a little more serious.

"It will heal." Heero stood up, fingering his cut lip and his swollen
eye as he added, "You were in a panic and not executing your attack in
an effective manner."

"Meaning; I fight like a girl when I have a druggie episode?" Duo's
grin turned hard all in an instant. "First a compliment and now insults.
You're a fickle guy, Heero."

Heero thought about that, trying to determine Duo's mood. "You're
frightened," he surmised at last.

"Damn, fucking right, I'm frightened!" Duo exclaimed and then
controlled himself with an effort, nostrils flaring as he lowered his voice and
finished tightly, "I'm going to keep fighting you tooth and nail,
Heero, and I won't be able to help myself. Don't make the mistake of
underestimating me again. I might hit you with something more deadly than a
toilet bowl brush next time."

"Acknowledged," Heero replied ruefully and then, as if it were a part
of the same conversation. "You should dress appropriately."

"For what?" Duo wondered. "Is there a special out fit for loosing
one's mind?"

Heero shook his head impatiently. "No, for exercising."

Duo frowned. "I just told you that-"

"That you wished me to force you, since you are unable to make the
decisions for improving your health on your own," Heero explained.

"That's not what I meant," Duo replied irritably.

"We have a limited amount of time," Heero argued. "You may be tired,
but we cannot afford for you to lose a day resting."

"Fuck you, Yuy, because rest is exactly what I'm going to do." Duo
stood up, intending to go and lie down on the bed.

Heero didn't touch him, but he did move to stand in front of Duo,
tense, hands poised as if he were preparing to be attacked. Duo glared.
Heero responded with an expression that displayed every ounce of concern
and.... yes, love, he felt for Duo. Duo stared at that expression in
fascination and disbelief. Torture, pure and simple, was ahead for Duo and
he was finding it hard to force himself to begin it. Duo knew that.
Heero was offering to strong arm him into the starting gate of the race to
regain his life. Heero was giving him the choice to allow it.

Duo shuddered, gritted his teeth, and then let go of his fear. A hard
core of determination, and undefeated endurance, inside of Duo, wrapped
up in his love for Heero and the desire to have a future with him,
forced the words from his lips and set his body in motion. "I'll put on
some shorts and gym shoes." He was rewarded by a warm smile from Heero
and, Duo thought, he would have done a lot more than face physical
difficulties to see that expression become more familiar to Heero and himself.

It wasn't easy. Heero took Duo back to the mountain of rock, hooked
straps to him, and simply told him to climb. Duo struggled, panted, saw
the world go dim more than once, and cursed Heero whenever he could
get a breath. Heero climbed beside him, not saying anything, helping and
encouraging Duo by his strong presence and a steadying hand when he
needed it. With that help, Duo made it a few yards up the sheer wall and
then dropped back down, repelling with the rope. He still remembered his
skill in that respect and he felt a flush of pleasure when Heero nodded
approvingly.

Duo tapped his chest, sweating and panting as Heero unbuckled him
again from the straps, and said, "Shinigami is still in here. He just needs
some more room to operate." Meaning his alter ego needed a better body.

"We'll give him that room," Heero replied, as if talking about an
imaginary God Of Death living inside of Duo was reasonable. "Weights next."

"Shit!" Duo swore as he wiped his dripping brow with the back of a
trembling hand. "I hate weights!"

Heero led Duo through a door at the back of the echoing chamber. It
led to an exercise room incredibly fitted out with every machine
imaginable. It was strange that it was empty.

"Doesn't anyone use this stuff?" Duo wondered as Heero helped him sit
on a weight bench.

"Quatre does," Heero said, "and I have on occasion. The staff is only
allowed in during certain hours."

"No wonder Quatre is so built," Duo replied as he stretched out on his
back and looked up through the barbell supports at Heero. "He works out
all of his post war syndrome in here." Heero frowned and Duo explained.
"Come on, Heero, we all have it, right? We all have to deal with
horrible memories of killing and destruction. Trowa flushes the bad feelings
out by being a target for a knife thrower and sticking his head into
the mouths of lions. Wu Fei, I'm sure, still practices his martial arts
and kicks butt once in awhile when he can't hide in his studies any
longer. I stayed drugged up and drowned myself in nightclubs and dance
raves. You do impossible missions and pursue a cause. All of it keeps our
minds from thinking about blood, guts, and dying people, and gives us
that adrenaline rush we can never quiet get rid of the need for."

Heero looked as if he wanted to avoid talking about the subject. His
face just 'closed' and became that inscrutable mask Duo had been used to
during the war, the one he had thought would never crack. Heero didn't
reply. Instead, he put the lightest weights on the barbell and then
stood at Duo's head and spotted him.

Heero had changed into black, spandex shorts and a loose, white tank
top that displayed his large, rounded shoulders to advantage. If Duo
squinted, he could just make out the nubs of his nipples. It was strange,
Duo thought, it was much easier to look at Heero and admire his body
when Heero put on that soldier mask. For some reason, it dehumanized him
and relieved Duo of the worry of bothering Heero or being judged by
him. A face like that seemed impossible to offend or embarrass. A face
like that didn't ask for the same considerations of any other man. Without
the presence of the emotional Heero that Duo was still trying to
believe in and come to terms with, it was easy to think more clearly, to
consider the physical without getting knotted up about the emotional. Free
to admire as he tried to lift the barbell, Duo came to a quick
conclusion, one that had repeatedly come to him throughout his association with
Heero Yuy. The man was absolutely hot!

Heero asked, startling Duo, as if he were reading Duo's mind. "What is
it like to be bisexual?"

Duo almost dropped the barbell on himself. Heero steadied it
automatically and Duo looked up past Heero's full, spandex covered crotch, past
his washboard abs, his enticing nipples, up a strong neck, and into his
handsome features. Cobalt blue eyes studied Duo as if he were a
particularly intriguing puzzle.

"Are you trying to distract me?" Duo asked in a voice that threatened
to crack and embarrass him. "Do you think that weird conversation is
going to keep me from realizing that I'm stretching out every puny muscle
in my body and that I'm going to hurt like Hell later on?"

Heero looked surprised and then he slowly shook his head. "I thought
that we should learn more about each other. Lifting weights occupies the
body, not the mind. If it is distracting to your concentration..."

"Well," Duo replied, coughed nervously, and then admitted, "Piloting a
Gundam makes you good at multi tasking, but I'm way the hell out of
shape..."

"Consider your reply then," Heero suggested. "You can answer my
question when you rest."

"What specifically do you want to know?" Duo asked.

"Several things," Heero told him. "My first question is, what about
women do you find sexually attractive?"

"Okay... Let me think and I'll get back to you," Duo replied, feeling
a blush sting his face. He lifted the weights again and silence reigned
except for his grunts and panting breaths.

"Enough?" Heero asked after three lifts.

Duo thankfully gave the weights into Heero's hands. "Are you that
eager for an answer?" he wondered as Heero put the weights into their
stand.

"Curious," Heero corrected. "You accused me of not knowing you. I said
the same to you about me. We need to rectify our uninformed situation."

Duo relaxed, trying to get his breath. When he could think clearly
again, he had a reply ready. "Well, it's going to sound sleazy."

"Sleazy?" Heero echoed.

Duo looked away and narrowed his eyes on the ceiling, finding it hard
to look at Heero when he replied, "Yeah, well, it's not real high
minded, the reason I like women. It's..." Duo scratched at his scalp. Partly
to relieve an inch caused by his sweat and his own embarrassment. "I
like between their legs. It just makes me warm all over... no, I'm not
sure why. It's not even about doing them there, or anything. I just have
this urge to..." Duo winced.

"What?" Heero prompted.

"Stick my face there and just stay for awhile," Duo managed to force
out. "Stupid, isn't it? Guess I'm just a pervert or something. I've
heard other guys talk. They like breasts and asses, mostly. As far as the
whole feminine versus masculine thing though, I lean towards guys every
time."

"I feel protective when I am with women," Heero revealed suddenly and
Duo looked up at him and saw that Heero was distant and thoughtful. "I
have never been sexually attracted to any part of them, though."

"Oh," Duo replied. "Then you are a hundred percent gay?" When Heero
nodded, Duo asked, "and you're not a virgin?"

"Yes to the first question and no to the second."

"Oh." Duo was sounding stupid in his own ears. "So chalk one up for
you, you have experience. I've come close, but, I'm afraid my only
experience is some x-rated vids."

"How do you know that you are bisexual then?" Heero was looking at him
intently then, worry in his voice. "Sometimes, with some of my sexual
partners, they were curious and excited until we tried to initiate the
actual act, then they reacted negatively and changed their minds. They
discovered that they didn't want to experience sex with another male in
reality."

"Oh," Duo winced and decided not to say that word again. "Well, I may
be stunted physically to the point where sex is a bit of a non-starter
with me, but," Duo found himself staring at Heero's crotch, the
enticing curve and line of his genitals beneath. "I definitely get excited by
men, Heero, so don't worry."

Heero was quiet, digesting the new data. Duo imagined Heero placing it
in his carefully labeled mental file; Duo Maxwell.

"So," Duo asked, proud that he had thought of another word besides,
'oh'. "Is this a Heero Yuy way of asking if I want to have sex with
you?"

"Yes," Heero replied simply and waited.

"Oh." Damn! Duo thought, grimaced, and then said more calmly than he
felt. "I ,uh, well, I'm not a normal guy right now, Heero. Before I
started taking the drugs, I probably would have laid men or women by the
Gundam load. I had a pretty randy libido. Right now though, I put myself
to sleep." He went on quickly, hating himself, hating to have to make
that kind of declaration, but knowing that, if he didn't Heero was going
to think that Duo was rejecting him when he said no. "I'm still a
virgin for a couple of reasons, that being the biggest."

"What are the others?" Heero pushed.

Duo rubbed at his sore arms and sighed. "People have always wanted to
do it with me for the wrong reasons. I'm not going to let some woman
tell everyone that Duo Maxwell did her or have some guy shout to every
news vid that he stuck it in my ass."

Heero frowned at that crudeness and Duo took note of it. Heero had
admitted before that he wasn't experienced in relationships, only sex. It
seemed odd that he would be uncomfortable about it.

"I wouldn't do that," Heero promised firmly. "It wouldn't..." he
searched for the words to express his strong emotions and convictions. "It
wouldn't be just sex between us. I think it will be much different than
what I have had before. "

Duo stared and then, feeling a glow start in the vicinity of his
heart, he said. "I know, Heero. I don't have anything to go on, but, I think
it has to be that way too."

Duo reached up to take hold of the barbells again. He smiled
lopsidedly, trying to lighten the serious mood. "When I'm off the drugs, maybe
we'll find out together what it's like." He began to lift the barbell,
staring pointedly at Heero's crotch. "Until then, and before the real
pain kicks in, I think I'll enjoy this exercise the most. It gives me a
good view of part of my goal." He smirked.

Heero looked down into Duo's eyes and his hands closed over Duo's,
stopping him from continuing. "Why wait?"

Duo frowned bitterly. "Don't make me keep repeating it, Heero. I
already told you I can't-"

"It's not just sex," Heero repeated. He leaned under the bar and Duo
suddenly found soft, warm lips devouring his own. "Say Yes," Heero
begged around his kiss, "There might not be another opportunity."

Heero broke the kiss but his eyes were devouring Duo as thoroughly as
his lips had. Duo felt weary, sick to his stomach from his physical
efforts, and sore in every muscle. The drugs were in full force, keeping
him lethargic, keeping him docile, keeping him almost non sexed...
almost.

"Yes," Duo replied, doubts filling is head, but not strongly enough to
disagree with Heero. There might not be another chance, Duo thought. He
might die. Even if he couldn't do anything with Heero sexually, there
were other kinds of closeness.

Duo sat up. He said softly. "We aren't a couple yet by a long shot,"
he told Heero. "We still have a lot of ground between us until that
happens, but we may never get the time to do anything about that. I may not
know who you are, Heero Yuy, but... I know I love you. That doesn't
make much sense, maybe, but... we don't have time for sense either."

Heero nodded resolutely.

Duo said, as Heero helped him off of the bench and they began walking
towards the door, "Damned if I'll die a virgin, anyway!"

Heero laughed, but it was dark and wild; a soldier's laugh. They knew
all about death, had lived with it as a constant companion for years.
They both could appreciate Duo's irreverence when faced with it now.

Heero's hand slid along Duo's hip. Duo had to lean on him, limping,
but Heero was warm and his hard body seemed to have the ability to soften
against Duo, emanating an erotic invitation that was almost subliminal.
It could have been easily intimidating because of Duo's inexperience,
but Heero wasn't overbearing or grasping. He allowed Duo to rest against
him, he didn't pull him close. It was an unspoken cue to Duo that he
could change his mind and say no, if he chose. Heero wasn't going to
force anything on him. Knowing that, Duo's uncertainty lost ground to his
deeper need to find out what Heero was like body to body, what it was
like to have someone touch him who cared so much, and to, finally,
experience a part of his life that, had, since the confusing grope session
with Milliardo Peacecraft that night so long ago, been closed to him.

"I want you bad, Heero!" Duo whispered hoarsely and he saw Heero
smile, his dark features glowing with pleasure as he reached for the door to
open it.

Someone on the other side of the door opened it first. Wu Fei stood
there, dressed in a Nehru jacket of light green, black silk, Chinese
pants, and soft, black ankle boots. He was as bald as an egg, his noble
features carrying it off handsomely. His black eyes were like pools of
ink under his scowling, thin eyebrows and those eyes took in Duo and
Heero, and the way they were holding on to one another, in a sharp glance.
His next words were clipped and irritated.

"I was led to believe that there was an emergency needing my skills,"
Wu Fei grated. "If I have been misled-"

Duo looked at Heero angrily and stepped back from him, the mood
suddenly gone cold. "What's going on, Heero? Why did you call him?"

Heero nodded greeting to Wu Fei respectfully as he replied, "Wu Fei is
going to save your life."

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