Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Do I know thee whom I call... love? ❯ Choices (Part 01) ( Chapter 12 )

Useless talk by Shini: Right! Hullo people, long time no see! I'd like to apologize for my long absence from the fanfic world, but now I'm back and for the best (I hope)! Here is a very long expected chapter (at least for me!) and I hope you like it… it's a rather long chapter I think, and the next one should be coming up soon! So don't be discouraged, read this, review, and I promise I'll finish the next one quickly!!

Warnings are the same as the previous chapters' were… so enjoy yourselves and thanks for reading!

 

Choices

 

“What's he doing here?” Trowa asked, pointing at Duo who was waiting nervously at some distance from them. He looked like he was about to jump out of his skin and he kept checking around him as if to make sure he was not being watched.

 

“Ah…” Wufei fidgeted a bit, trying hard not to lie to his husband but at the same time not wanting to tell the truth… he settled for just hiding some facts, “Heero and Duo had a fight…” he said quietly.

 

“Yeah?” Trowa lifted an eyebrow, “And why does he look like he's in FBI's wanted list? Is Heero hunting him down or something?”

 

The Chinese man spared a side glance at his friend and noticed Trowa's comments were accurate, Duo really did look like the main actor on a premiere night who suddenly realized he had stage panic*. He swallowed hard, “I… I'm sorry Trowa… Duo made me promise I wouldn't tell you…”

 

“So you're lying to me instead?” His lover sounded hurt.

 

“No!” Wufei said hastily shaking his head, “It's true, he and Heero really had an argument… but I can't tell you what happened after it… he won't let me…”

 

“Hm… and so now he's going to live with us…”

 

“Yeah… well only for a while I mean…”

 

Trowa sighed, “I like Duo and I'm happy you and he are such good friends… but I'm not happy about this Wufei, I'm not. I try to be reasonable most of times but I really think this is too much…”

 

“But Trowa…”

 

“Try to put yourself in my place love, imagine that one day I simply decide Catherine is going to live with us because something happened, something I won't even tell you. How would you fell?”

 

Wufei held his breath for a while and tried to think, “I guess I'd be jealous… and hurt” he blushed but answered truthfully.

 

“Exactly!” Trowa nodded, “Now, Cathy is my sister, she is a girl and I am definitely gay… if even then you admit yourself to be jealous, try to see how I fell about Duo… he's not your family and he's a guy Fei… an attractive one at that…”

 

“Tro…” The Chinese's eyes pleaded with his lover.

 

“I'm not going to say no to this Fei, after all, you've already decided it all by yourself. But I warn you love… if I ever feel threatened by Duo… I'm going to let you both know it and, believe me it will not be in a kind way…” Trowa stated seriously and lifted his hand to caress his husband's cheek. “I can be very jealous of what is mine, love…”

 

Wufei just nodded and tried to swallow the lump on his throat, he leaned forward to brush his lips against Trowa's “Thank you…” he whispered.

 

They parted and went to fetch Duo before he jumped on some innocent passer by…

 

****

 

“Fei… Fei… where are you…?” Duo called while walking around the house, he found Trowa at the study.

 

“He's out” the man gritted between his teeth and kept reading the files he had spread over the table.

 

“Oh… I'm sorry Trowa…” the American lowered his head and turned to leave but Trowa called him back, “Duo…”

 

“Yes?”

 

The man dropped the files he was holding on the table, sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose “It's been almost two months… when are you leaving?”

 

Duo gaped at him for a second before replying “You sure cut to the cheese Tro-man…” he pouted a bit.

 

“Don't even start Duo… Wufei might be afraid to ask you to leave, but I'm not… you said for a while, well I say your “while” has gone on long enough!”

 

“Trowa!” Duo turned around to take a look at his savior, Wufei of course.

 

“Fei!” he yelped.

 

“Maxwell, can you excuse us for a second” Wufei didn't bother to make it sound like a question.

 

“I… I… ok” he left the room and Wufei shut the door behind him.

 

Inside Wufei glared at his lover, “How dare you?” he whispered dangerously.

 

Trowa stared back at Wufei but didn't reply so the Chinese kept talking, “How dare you Trowa?” he repeated, loudly this time.

 

“I told you Wufei, I would let you know when I felt menaced …”

 

“Well I'm sick of it! You've done nothing but to be rude to Duo since he arrived here…”

 

“Well that should enlighten you about the length of the problem!” Trowa exclaimed.

 

“What?” Wufei asked confused.

 

“Do I have to spell it out Chang?”

 

Wufei was taken aback by his lover using his last name, Trowa hadn't called him Chang since the beginning of the wars… and the way he'd said it… Wufei shivered and shied a little, lowering his voice. “Yes please” he lowered his head and waited humbly for whatever Trowa was going to tell him, “please don't make me choose…” he prayed silently in his mind.

 

“I'm jealous of Duo, Wufei” Trowa explained patiently, “I hate him being here all the time and I hate that you hover around him tending to his every need… I hate that he acts like he needs it and I hate that you haven't made any attempt at telling him to leave even though I can see you're tiring yourself to death over him, you're still sick for heavens sake!”

 

“Trowa…”

 

“Hush! Let me finish” he stood up and walked until he was in front of his husband, “I hate that, in two months he hasn't made any attempt to contact Heero, and I hate that he freaks out every time he sees Relena on TV. I hate that he can't go out without you being with him all the time!” Trowa raised his voice a little to stress his last words but went back to whispering as he grabbed Wufei's chin and brought their foreheads together, “But most of all Wufei…” he said in a broken voice “I hate that you made a decision like this, regarding our private lives without even consulting me, that you did not tell me your husband what's the real problem with your friend… and that you've been treating me like garbage ever since I came back from that damned mission on Quatre's colony”

 

Wufei scowled and pushed Trowa away, “I have not been treating you like garbage!” He defended himself.

 

“Oh, haven't you?” Trowa lifted an eyebrow, “Fei, the last time we had a decent talk was on the phone when I was coming back to earth for gods sakes!”

 

“Was not! Take that back Barton!”

 

“Was too Chang, you've been ignoring me! You're afraid that I may ask what's wrong with your oh-so-precious best friend! You're afraid that I'll ask you to choose between the both of us!”

 

Wufei's lower lip was trembling and his eyes were bright, he knew his lover was right but he didn't want to admit it… he didn't know what to do with Duo… “I can't just throw him out…” he whispered faintly, leaning tiredly on the mantelpiece and felling Trowa's comforting arms encircle him from behind.

 

“I know…” his husband agreed.

 

“What do I do Trowa?” Wufei asked desperately lost.

 

“Tell me the truth love… then we'll deal with whatever it is… together…”

 

Wufei nodded and was quiet for a while, after telling his husband the whole situation he added, “I'm sorry for making decisions like that on my own… it involved you… it involved us… I should have known better…”

 

“Shh… it's ok… I've already forgiven you. And now that I have a full picture of the situation… I'll work to get my husband back… I miss him” Trowa said full of longing.

 

“Tro…”

 

“I'm not going to ask you to choose Wufei… I'm not that dense and I wouldn't want to hurt you that much… but understand that I'd love to… I'd love to raise my voice and yell at you and demand that you do something with Duo… I'm tired of this… but I don't want to see you crying and suffering anymore than you already have to… Duo was raped and that's not a simple thing…”

 

Wufei shifted and leaned on Trowa's warm chest, holding his husbands hands on his waist with his own, he sighed and nodded, “Help me Trowa… I've tried everything… I don't know what else to do to help him…”

 

“You're a good friend Fei…” Trowa whispered and kissed the top of Wufei's head, he leaned his head on top of his husband's, “I wish I had someone like you when…” his voice failed and he had to take a breath before finishing, “When I was raped”

 

“Trowa!” Wufei turned on the hug and held his husband firmly in his arms while he sobbed and cried. “Shh… it's ok love! I'm here now…”

 

Trowa lifted his head and looked inside Wufei's dark eyes, “I'm sorry Fei… I didn't mean to treat him badly… If… if only I had known…”

 

“Tro it's not your fault… it was I who didn't tell you, though I should have… I have no idea how to deal with this… you should be able to help Duo… but I didn't want to ask… I know it's painful…”

 

Trowa nodded and buried his face in Wufei's silky hair; it was much, much longer than during the wars and he wore it on a braid just like Duo's, but that black mass of hair was much messier than his friend's cinnamon rope, his hair was much too straight and it kept freeing itself from it's confines… his husband loved it and not rarely he found his hair being played with, or caressed or being used as a comforting hiding-place, just like now.

 

Trowa removed the band from the tip of Wufei's hair and unbraided it, he combed it lightly with his slender fingers and lifted the strands to his face to rub them against his skin… he was wetting them with his tears but Wufei didn't care, he just caressed Trowa's own hair instead, soothing and calming him.

 

“You're right… it's been a long time since we had a moment to ourselves…”

Trowa didn't respond with words, he just kept caressing Wufei's hair.

 

“I missed you Tro…”

 

His husband mewled in response and Wufei laughed a little, “You look like a cat Baby… mewling and rubbing yourself against me like this…”

 

Trowa straightened and cupped Wufei's cheeks on his hands, he looked deep into his husbands eyes and kissed him thoroughly, losing himself on the other's mouth; it was Wufei's turn to mewl… he clutched to Trowa's shirt and twisted one leg around his husband's waist rubbing suggestively against Trowa's manhood.

 

Trowa gasped and released Wufei's mouth, “Fei… Duo's here…”

 

“Not here… in the other room, besides I shut the door, remember?”

 

“Still, he'll hear us…” The auburn haired man squirmed half heartedly against the Chinese's grip.

 

“Well, I guess that'll be just justice! Do you remember how many nights we spent awake just because he and Heero wouldn't shut up?”

 

“Hmm…” Trowa nodded and bent to kiss his tempting husband once again, Wufei was fully erect now and Trowa could definitely fell him against the restricting cloth of their pants. “But we had each other… Duo's alone now…”

 

Wufei backed away from the kiss and looked at Trowa, “Listen Barton, do you want me or not?”

 

Trowa tried to even his erratic breathing and faced Wufei, his black eyes were shinning with lust, his cheeks were flushed, tinted prettily with a pink colour and his lips were red and swollen from kissing, his breaths were coming just as unevenly as Trowa's and the jet black hair was now loose and framing his perfect face, the shirt he was wearing was half open and Trowa could see some of that golden chest he lusted over so much…

 

“I do…” he replied breathlessly, “Oh yeah… I definitely do…”

 

Wufei laughed, delighted at the effect he had on his husband and wrapped both legs around his waist so Trowa could move them to sit on the table, folders and documents all went straight to the floor.

 

“Oh Gods Fei… it's been long and I need you so…” Trowa whispered his voice raw with lust.

 

Trowa made his way carefully down Wufei's chest, licking and sucking each tiny patch of flesh in front of him, feeding of his husband's delighted moans.

 

“Oh gods Tro it has been too long…”

 

Trowa smiled against Wufei's skin and kept worshiping him for a while, building their rhythm unhurriedly.

 

“Fei…” They heard that familiar voice calling from the other side of the door.

 

Wufei moaned as Trowa teased a nipple, “Duo… not now…” he shook his head the ebony locks sliding forward to frame his frustrated face.

 

“I'm really sorry Fei… but there's someone at the door and I pretty much think it's Heero…” Duo's voice had a panicked edge and Wufei sighed recognizing defeat. He pushed Trowa away from him and called back resentfully, “It's all right Duo, I…” He shot a quick glace at Trowa, “We'll be there in a moment…”

 

“O… ok…” Duo answered nervously.

 

Wufei didn't take the time to re-braid his hair so he just walked out of the study with his hair loose and tucking his shirt inside his pants before walking to the living room to open the door.

 

He looked through the magic eye, “Yeah Duo, you were right, it is Heero…”

 

“Oh gods…” the American former pilot winced and looked around pathetically as if trying to find a place to hide. “Send him away…” he pleaded, “Please, send him away Fei… I don't think I can look at him right now… or ever…” he whispered.

 

“Now Duo… I understand you're frightened but hiding from Heero is not going to help you” Trowa said, entering the room and trying unsuccessfully to tuck his bangs behind his ear.

 

“What do you know Tro? You don't understand what I've been through!” Duo turned sharply and took a step back from the auburn haired man.

 

“You're wrong Duo, I understand you perfectly” Trowa said calmly, fixing Duo's eyes with his own emerald one.

 

“What? ... You… you don't! You can't!” Duo's frame was shrinking and he came closer to Wufei as if asking for help.

 

“I told him the truth Duo” Wufei resisted the urge to wince when purple eyes looked at him betrayed. “No Duo, don't judge me like that, Trowa is my husband, this secret of ours was becoming very bad for my relationship with him… and besides, as sad as it might be I figured he'd be the best one to help you…”

 

“You see Duo,” Trowa took over Wufei's speech and the Chinese nodded at his husband and went outside to try and talk to Heero while Trowa offered Duo his help, “I was raped too, when I was very young…”

 

-----------------------

 

“Where's Duo” Heero spat as soon as Wufei had stepped outside. Fortunately for Wufei the Japanese man did not try to break through the door or he wouldn't be able to stop him. “You're keeping him aren't you?” he demanded.

 

Wufei gathered his wits to face the former Wing pilot, Heero, even after all these years wasn't known as a very talkative or understanding kind of person and his temperament remained remarkably violent, “I'm not “keeping” him Yuy, don't make it sound like I kidnapped him, he's with me and it's on his own free will” He said coolly, painfully aware that, was Heero to reach for his neck right now he wouldn't be fast enough to stop him.

 

Heero grunted and his hands curled into fists, “Why?”

 

“Because something happened and he was ashamed to talk or even see you… he still is, that's why Trowa's trying to put some sense into him right now… you'll have to be patient Yuy, he might not want to see you yet and I won't let you force him”

 

“Chang…” Heero gritted his teeth but after a moment relented, they were talking about Duo after all. “Is he mad at me?” Heero asked finally.

 

“Don't be so petty Yuy… what could you possibly do to make Duo mad at you for two whole months?”

 

Heero lifted an eyebrow but said nothing as if trying to recall something that might have offended Duo.

 

“Oh… you're pathetic you know? Duo is not mad at you, how could he? After all you've done to him and he still loves you…”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I mean, you're married to an unbearable woman who puts your lover through one of the most unbearable humiliating situations in the world and he still thinks that somehow it's his fault and he refuses to see you out of shame…”

 

“What did Relena do?” Heero asked his anger returning and his nails digging painfully in the palms of his hands.

 

“She hired some people to rape Duo…”

 

“What?!” Heero shouted, loosing all his composure and after a few well aimed punches on the wall he slumped to the floor.

 

“How could she? How did this happen? Why didn't I see it coming? Duo must hate me… oh gods! Why…?” he kept repeating over and over until Wufei took pity on him and crouched beside his slumped form.

 

“It's all my fault isn't it?”

 

“Well, if you asked me I'd say yes… after all you were the one to betray him and marry that despicable woman…”

 

“I had no choice…” Heero said weakly.

 

“So I've heard…”

 

“You think I had?” The Japanese man raised his head and stared at the wall with vacant eyes.

 

“I believe Yuy, that there's no such thing as “not having choices”. We always have a choice, either be for the best or worst… or maybe just for the very bad and the worst… or just the worst… but the choices are always there… I think that if you had been stronger and not acted on your pride and that uncontrollable need you have to always be the hero that stupid hag would have found another man to couple with…”

 

Heero drew a sharp breath and stared unbelievingly at Wufei.

 

“Don't look at me that way Yuy, you asked what I thought…” he shrugged.

 

“That was a heartless thing to say” Heero whispered.

 

“Yeah, and marrying Relena and making of your relationship with Duo a shameful affair was also heartless, only that stupid American never had the guts to tell you so…”

 

Heero sobbed and hid his face in his hands, “I'm a jerk aren't I?”

 

“Yes you are” Wufei agreed sadly. At that moment the door opened and Trowa peered carefully through it, gesturing for Wufei and Heero to come in.

 

The Chinese sighed and touched Heero's shoulder lightly, “Unfortunately you're the jerk with whom my best friend fell in love… and if I want to see him remotely happy I'll have to help the two of you to get along again…”

 

Heero and Wufei stood up but before they crossed the doorsill Wufei held the Japanese's arm, “But believe me Heero, if things were the tinniest bit different, I'd be very happy to kill you and get this over with… for Duo's sake, once this is settled do something about that woman…”

 

Heero's nod was the last thing to be seen before the door closed behind them.

 

TBC

 

* Oh yeah… can you people help me please? I just wanted to know if “stage panic” is the right expression for people who are afraid of being on stage… if it's not what's the right one so I can change it? And thank you for your help!