Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Do I know thee whom I call... love? ❯ Confession ( Chapter 14 )

Hey! Shini here! I am very sorry that this chapter is so short… but don't worry I'm already writing the next one so I'll update soon (I hope). I'd like to beg you not to grow tired of Wufei's and Trowa's relationship and their trials… I always felt that the GW fanfics I read were great but some of them didn't explore the depths of the characters romantic relationship so I just figured I'd write a fic that did… but I'm not very sure the readers are not finding this aspect of my fic-writing boring to death… so if you're reading this and you have a little extra time to review, please do! (And thank you all who have already reviewed me! Love ya!)

Also forgive me my grammar mistakes I don't have anyone to beta my fics, so if you find loads of gruesome mistakes here please let me know, English is obviously not my first language so I make some very stupid mistakes sometimes…

Well I guess that's it, I'm sorry for keeping you this long, those of you who still haven't lost their interest, enjoy your reading!

 

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Confession

 

After spending almost two weeks at the hospital Wufei came back home, he'd been having trouble controlling his temper and the last few days he spent there were almost like hell, driving every nurse that had been attending to him crazy.

 

Everyone thought it was because the hospital was too much of a boring environment for the former Altron pilot, but Trowa knew better. His husband's foul mood had less to do with the stillness of the hospital and more to do with frustration. Wufei was simply tired of being ill.

 

“How are you feeling love?” Trowa asked tenderly as he sat the frail form of his lover on the couch.

 

“You've asked me that same question four times in the last three minutes Barton, and the answer is still the same, I am fine!” the Chinese lashed out.

 

“I'm sorry love, I am just worried” Trowa's smile was strained.

 

“Well, don't be! I'm sick of everybody's pity! I'm tired of being the weak link on this chain!” Wufei spat.

 

“You're not the weak link Fei!” Trowa replied indignantly.

 

“Well, I certainly feel like one. Why don't you, of all people, treat me like a real person and not just some scum who only deserves your mercy?”

 

“I don't treat you like that!” Trowa protested vehemently.

 

“Yes Trowa, you do”

 

Trowa was quiet for a moment, he knew his husband was right, Wufei had been being treated like a sick child and not as the strong man he knew his husband was. But it was a little difficult, he thought, not to treat him carefully when Wufei's appearance was so frail. He sighed and replied quietly, “You're right love, I haven't been treating you properly, but I'd like to show you something” he added, “Come” he motioned for his husband to follow him and they ended up at their room.

 

“Close your eyes” Trowa whispered and as his husband's puzzled face relented and did as it was told he positioned Wufei in front of the full length mirror they had on one of the walls. “I'm sorry I have to do this, I wish there was a less shocking way…” the auburn haired man kept whispering sadly, “Now Fei, open your eyes…”

 

The onix depths were immediately uncovered and Trowa heard his husband gasp. He had to step forward and steady Wufei's wavering body from falling.

 

“Oh Nataku… why?” Wufei moaned shakily, his eyes trailing from the bony arms and ridiculously prominent collarbone to his pale sullen face. He started sobbing and the tears didn't take long to follow.

 

“Now, now, I'm sorry love, I'm so sorry” Trowa whispered in Wufei's ear trying to calm him.

 

“Oh gods…” Wufei shook his head despairingly and brought his hands to hide his face, immediately uncovering it as if he had been burned by the hideously bony limbs. “I look awful” he told Trowa and turned away from the mirror trying desperately to erase his own image from his mind.

 

“Shush, you don't look awful, you just look frail. That's why I've been treating you that way… but I promise you I'll stop if only you try to be a little more patient, as you see for yourself, it's hard not to want to protect you from everything”

 

Wufei nodded and buried his face on his husband's neck, “I'm pathetic”

 

“No you're not Fei, you're not. And you're not dying either, do you understand? Together we're going to beat this sickness of yours” Trowa stated with much more confidence then he truly felt, but if that was what his Wufei needed he'd repeat phrases like that ten times a day just to make him fell a little better.

 

“Oh Trowa… how… how can you still stay with me? Look, look at what I've become! I'm a barely living corpse!” Wufei sobbed unable to stop himself or his copious tears.

 

“I love you Wufei, I'm not going to leave you because I love you and I need you”

 

Wufei managed a sad little chuckle “Need me? What do you need me for Trowa? In the state I am in I can't even satisfy you anymore…”

 

“Who says my need is only about sex Wufei? Of course I miss going to bed with you, I miss making passionate love to you! I miss your lustful look every time I'm wearing tight pants or a fishnet! But that's not everything… I also miss your acid comments on everybody's life and morals, I even miss your inflamed speeches about justice and I miss those mornings when you'd wake up early even though you don't like to, just to prepare us breakfast in bed and see me of to work… I miss the way you stood in front of the mirror cursing your hair so loudly that I would hear you and come rushing to untangle it for you while silently begging with my eyes that you'd never go through with your threat of cutting it short again… but Fei…” Trowa hugged his husband very gently from the back and toyed with the long strands of hair that now just didn't shine the way they used to, “most of all, doesn't meter if we're not able to do those things ever again, I am happy because I still have you with me and I know I have no right to ask you this, but when you are hopeless and you want to give in to this illness, please, keep on fighting for me! Because I need you Fei, anyway I can get you, I need you and if you're not here anymore… I won't be either…”

 

“Trowa…”

 

“It's true Fei… it's true… I'm not even sure if I'm able to picture a life without you in it… let alone live it!”

 

They both remained quiet after Trowa's heartfelt confession. Trowa felt suddenly naked after baring his soul of all it's bottled up feelings for the first time after so many years, but somehow that nakedness didn't make him feel uncomfortable, it just made him feel loved and accepted when Wufei's small delicate frame leaned back on him and relaxed.

 

Wufei kept quiet because he didn't trust himself to speak. He didn't dare believe everything Trowa had said, he didn't even believe everything Trowa had said, but the knowledge that his husband kept their good memories close to his heart and the feeling that perhaps this illness was just another memory they were going to have in the future made him feel much, much better and he fell asleep on his husband's comforting arms barely feeling the nimble fingers that worked tirelessly on the knots on his hair.