Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Down on the Farm ❯ Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own the G boys I just borrow them from time to time and return them a whole lot happier. :)

Rating: NC 17

Warnings: Fluff, sap, lemon, lime, language, humor

Pairings: 1x2x1, 3x4x3, 5x?, ? x Bull, Milking Machine x?, revenge of farm animals, abuse of vegetables.

Archive: http://gundam-wing-diaries.150m.com

http://adultfanfiction.net

http://www.theforsakenwk.com

http://www.sweetlysour.net

Status: complete

Author: ShenLong

Dedication: To Ryouga for the inspiration. *huggles*

Authors Notes: This little piece of insanity was inspired by Ryouga. It started out while at lunch one day, sharing fic ideas and discussing the pilots in general. A wayward chicken was spotted running outside the restaurant which led to all sorts of comments being tossed around the table. Once all the banter was done with we were left with the idea for this fic.

"Down on the Farm"

Part 4

Recap....

The kitten took one last look... aimed and pounced, sinking his claws in.

Duo felt as if a thousand white hot needles had been forced into his scrotum. One word came to mind....

Actually it was two words....

"Oh fuck!"

Duo screamed and withdrew rapidly from Heero's passage, fluid still shooting from the tiny slit and spraying over Heero's thighs and the hay bales.

The kitten went swinging through the air, a stunned look on its little face. Quickly it sheathed its claws and as it hit the floor it scurried off and hid.

Heero shot up as Duo yelled and rapidly left his body. His blue eyes opened wide as he took in the sight of his koi, hands clutching desperately at his groin as he tried to bend himself in two to see what the hell had stuck him. "Fucking hell!" he growled.

"Duo what the heck is going on? What happened? Are you all right?" Heero was a bit concerned when Duo failed to answer straight away.

"Shit! That fucking hurt! What the hell was that?"

"What was what?"

"Something grabbed me on the balls! Felt like needles.... Sally isn't here is she?" Duo asked as his head swiveled around. "I wouldn't put it past that sadistic medic to pull something like this."

"Let me see Duo." Heero inched forwards on the hay bales, mindful of the scratching against his tender rear.

Duo allowed himself to be brought to the bales and sat down. Heero pushed him back and gently spread his legs to check out the damage. He lifted up the soft skin of Duo's sac and gazed at the tiny scratches. A movement in the corner of the barn caught his eye and he quickly looked up.

A small ginger kitten shot out of the partly open door.

Heero returned his gaze to his lovers abused groin and put two and two together.

"It hurts Heero!" Duo whined.

"I know koi." Heero replied as he ran his fingers over the silky skin. "I think it was the kitten."

"What kitten?"

"Ummm the one that just shot out of the door."

"When I get my hands on the damn thing it will be lucky to make it to cathood."

"Don't be like that Duo, I'm sure the kitten didn't mean any harm."

"Harm!!! Harm!!! The bloody thing damn near castrated me Heero! I mean think about it.... my whole future nearly went down the tube.... If that kitten had succeeded then all the little Maxwell's of the future wouldn't stand a chance of being born." Duo continued to whine.

"In case you had forgotten Duo you're gay..."

"Minor hiccup."

Heero lowered his head to Duo's groin. "Would you like me to kiss it better for you Duo?"

"Ohh yes please." Duo responded.

Heero sank between Duo's legs and proceeded to kiss the abused skin. Much to his amusement Duo began to purr.

~ * ~

With there being no sign of the dog or goose, Trowa Quatre and Wufei made their way across the yard to vegetable patch. The blonde hummed to himself as he walked, goose aside he was enjoying this vacation.

Trowa glanced along the lines of vegetables. "Just what ones do you want Quatre?"

Quatre paused and stared. The patch was quite full and there were many different varieties of vegetable there. "Ummm... I don't know. Maybe we should just wander through and pick what we think."

"Fine." Wufei moved to the left of the patch.

Trowa and Quatre began to move amongst the rows. Quatre paused and knelt down. He wrapped his fingers around the fuzzy greenery of a vegetable and pulled. The carrot came out of the ground with minimal fuss. "Ohh Trowa look." Quatre beamed and held up the orange piece. "It's a root vegetable."

Trowa turned a light shade of red and felt his jeans shrink a little. Wufei's eyes widened and he shook his head in disgust.

Quatre continued to pull carrots from the ground until he deemed he had enough and moved over to where Wufei was searching through a vine. "What have you found Wufei?"

Wufei continued to pull small pods from the plant. "Pea."

"Err... I already went to the bathroom Wufei."

"Not that sort of pee Quatre."

"Oh." Quatre blushed as Wufei waved a pod under his nose. He thought it best to leave Wufei to his peas and wandered over to where Trowa was busy with something. He peered over his lovers shoulder and moaned.

Trowa was busy detaching a rather nice looking zucchini.

Quatre licked his lips... he liked zucchini.

Trowa's hands began to move along the length of the green vegetable as he checked it for blemishes and soft spots, all he found was a firm length. Idly his fingers continued to stroke along the vegetable, completely oblivious to Quatre standing behind him.

Quatre watched intently as long elegant fingers explored the eight inches of hard green vegetable. His eyes began to glaze over as he stared, his lover continued to stroke the length. Quatre couldn't help it any longer... he groaned... loudly, as he felt his pants become extremely tight.

Trowa turned around and was greeted by the sight of his koi, eyes half lidded, carrots dangling from one hand while his other moved over his groin. With a wicked grin Trowa brought the end of the length to his lips and began to lick around it. "Mmmmm.... I like the taste of this."

"Ohhhh.... Trowa..." Quatre sighed as he watched those lips wrap around the end of the zucchini... and suck.

"Yes Quatre?" Trowa teased around his mouthful.

"Ohh shit! I need... I need...." Quatre's eyes slid shut as the carrots fell from his fingers and he reached to undo his pants.

Trowa watched intently as the blonde undid his pants and reached inside to fondle himself. He began to run his tongue along the firm flesh of the veggie, putting as much saliva and lust into the act as he could.

Quatre was certainly appreciating the display. He moved closer to Trowa and rubbed against his boyfriend's thigh. "Please Trowa... don't tease." he begged.

"What do you want Quatre? " Trowa asked suggestively.

"Ohh that, you, anything..." Quatre panted.

"Mmmmm..." Trowa responded. He placed his hand over Quatre's wrist and pulled the blonde's hand from within his pants. Quickly he pushed the Arab's trousers and boxers down to his knees and bent the young man over. His fingers ghosted along the crevice as he placed the zucchini at Quatre's lips.

Eagerly Quatre pulled the vegetable into his mouth and sucked. It was about the same length and thickness as Trowa and if he shut his eyes he could almost believe he was sucking the real thing.

Trowa sucked on his own fingers for a moment and then returned them to Quatre's rear where he again began to torment that tight hole, pushing the tip of one finger inside and working it around gently.

Quatre pushed back eagerly, trying to draw Trowa's fingers in deeper. Trowa obliged and soon had three fingers buried to the knuckle. Quatre began to pant, the zucchini coated thickly in his saliva and the pre cum dripping from his cock. "Nnnngggg... Trowa."

"Yes Quatre?"

"Please... do it..."

"Do what?"

"What do you think!" Quatre moaned, frustrated with all the teasing.

"Hmm, do you want my cock or the zucchini?" Trowa purred.

"I don't care." Quatre wriggled his backside. "I need something long and thick and I need it now."

Trowa chuckled lightly and pulled his fingers from the silken passage. He quickly brought the wet zucchini to the now loosened entrance and began to push forward, eyes never leaving the delicious sight of the green vegetable being swallowed by Quatre's body. "It's good to see you eat all of your vegetables Quatre." he said.

Quatre could only moan in response, the feeling of the hard skin of the zucchini slick against his inner walls. He began to press back, demanding more. "In the desert you soon learn not to waste anything." he panted as Trowa began to move the item in and out. "Ooohhh Allah that's sooo good... Don't stop Trowa."

Trowa had no intention of stopping. He continued to work the vegetable in and out while his other hand slipped underneath Quatre to stroke at his firm shaft.

Quatre's eyes closed as he was assaulted by many different sensations.

Wufei straightened his back and lifted the vegetable from its soft bed. "What about this one?" he called as he began to turn around.... and promptly froze. The marrow he was holding suddenly felt a little heavy in his hands as his eyes burned with the vision he was witnessing. Just what the hell was Trowa using?

Trowa continued to thrust the zucchini in and out of Quatre's passage, the moans of delight going straight to his own cock which was decidedly envious of the vegetable.

Wufei shudderd as he realized just what was sliding in and out of Quatre's passage. He looked at the marrow in his hands and back at the zucchini. "I guess size doesn't always matter." Wufei dropped the marrow back to it's bed and began a hasty retreat. Passing by the parsnips he shook his head. "I am not even going to contemplate that." he said quietly staring at the white innocent root. Wufei headed out to the pastures to check on the sheep.

Quatre shoved back hard against the stiff vegetable, taking Trowa completely by surprise. "Ohhh so good... sooo deep." Quatre moaned.

"Ohhh shit!" thought Trowa as the sudden shove caused him to lose his hold on the slim end and the vegetable disappeared inside Quatre's channel. "Ummmm.... Quatre?"

"Ohhh more Trowa, deeper.... I want it all inside."

"Errr... you have it all Quatre."

"Nani?"

"Ummm... It seems the whole thing is in there. I know you enjoy your vegetables Quatre but I think this is taking it a little too literal."

"How the hell did that happen?" Qautre's eyes were still glazed and his passage spasmed, feeling the slender vegetable deep inside. "We need to get it out." Quatre wasn't sure whether to panic, moan, get himself off or head for a hospital.

"I know, I know." Trowa replied. "Bend over a little more and I'll see what I can do." Quatre leant over and Trowa slipped his fingers inside, brushing against the end of the zucchini. It was slippery and Trowa frantically tried to get a hold on it.

Now Quatre was starting to get worried. Trowa had been trying for five minutes to remove the object and so far had only suceeded in pushing it against Quater's prostate and causing Quatre to buck in pleasure. Finally Trowa managed to sink his fingernails into the very end and with Quatre pushing gently the offending item was withdrawn and deposited on the dirt.

Trowa swept Quatre into his arms and began to kiss him fervently. Tears ran down Quatre's face. "I'm sorry my love. I'm sorry." Trowa whispered, his voice full of concern and begging forgiveness from the crying blonde.

"Trowa, fuck me please... I'm so turned on if I don't come I'm gonna explode." Quatre moaned.

Trowa's eyes opened wide. "Here he was thinking his petite lover was upset but in fact it was quite the opposite. Quickly he undid his zipper and yanked his cock out, turning Quatre at the same time. He spat into his hand and spread the saliva and leaking pre cum over his shaft before guiding the tip to the stretched and quivering entrance. With one forward snap of his hips he seated himself fully and began to thrust.

Quatre groaned and writhed beneath his lover. While the vegetable had felt good nothing could compare to his koi's heated length... and it was attached so no chance of losing it.

Trowa closed his eyes as he repeatedly pushed into his lover's tight body and didn't see the chickens.

The hens had been busy scratching around in their yard when funny sounds came on the air to their tiny chicken ears. One hen cocked her head and listened. It sounded like their fearless 'rooster'. Trying to analyze the sounds, but failing to work out what they meant, the hen decided to investigate. She trotted over to the hen house door which hadn't been closed properly from earlier. With a few excited clucks to her fellow feathered friends the band of chickens made their escape.... and headed for their favorite place.

The vegetable garden.

Trowa continued to pound into his love, his hand reached underneath and he took the silken steel of Quatre into his hand and began to pump. Together they began to ride the waves of building orgasm.

The chickens advanced on the vegetable patch, the noises they could hear getting louder and louder. They clucked amongst themselves trying to work out what was going on. Slowly they drew closer.

Trowa could feel his release about to hit him and pumped Quatre's length faster, he was determined to bring his lover off as close to his own climax as possible.

The hens arrived at the vegetable patch, excited clucking passing between them. A loud cry brought them to silence and they all stopped... and stared. The hen that had fainted before now ruffled her feathers in rage. There was *her* rooster engaged in something he shouldn't be and with that Gold Laced Wyndott no less! With a cluck that sounded like a cross between a growl and a screech the hen fluffed her feathers and sprang. She would teach that golden old bird that it could not steal *her* rooster and get away with it.

Trowa felt Quatre's cock twitch in his hand as the blonde's orgasm found him, creamy seed pumping out and spraying onto the vegetables below. The tight heat around him clamped down and with a keening cry Trowa gave one more thrust before tipping over the edge, his semen spurting inside his lover. Through the haze of euphoria Trowa heard an indignant cluck followed by a sound that sent chills up his spine. He opened his eyes and stared at the flurry of red feathers and angry clucks that was bearing down on them.

One word went through his mind....

..... actually it was two words...

"Oh fuck!!"

~ * ~

Wufei sauntered across the grass, he was feeling rather pleased with himself. He had managed to get away from the vegetable patch and out into the sheep paddock without a sign of Humpty. He took in the tranquil sight of the sheep grazing in the paddock and sighed. This was nice. Peace and quiet, no battles to worry about, just the clean country air and....

"Wuff!!"

"Kisama!" Wufei yelled and jumped into the air as the dog appeared out of nowhere and heading straight for him. He glanced about wildly and spotted a grove of trees to his right, just on the other side of the fence. Mind made up, and with one last look at the approaching missile, Wufei was off and sprinting.

Humpty had awoken from his earlier nap feeling much rested and ready for more action. He sniffed around the farm yard but couldn't locate the scent of that lustful leg. He prowled around searching, nose to the ground. He passed by the barn door and jumped as a ginger kitten came skidding out and ran across the yard to hide in the cow shed. He stuck his head around the door and turned it sideways as he tried to make sense of what he saw. The *Alsatian* appeared to be licking and sniffing the *long haired retriever* "Oh well, nothing new." he thought in his doggy mind, all dogs greeted and got to know each other by *sniffing and licking* in certain areas, it was the whimpering sounds those two were making that didn't make sense.

Humpty thought it best not to worry about it, instead he needed to find that luscious leg, and so with his nose to the ground he continued to follow the scent. He paused again. The scent was stronger here. He walked up to a long fat vegetable and sniffed. Ahhhhh. The leg had been here. His head turned around as the whine to the side of him grew louder. His tongue lolled out and he began to pant in time with the *golden retriever* who was being mounted by the *wire haired terrier* Ohh he needed to find that leg and soon. He turned his nose to the air and picked up the trail.

Trotting across the paddock he spotted the object of his desire up ahead. With a triumphant Wuff! he took off like a bullet.

Wufei's lungs burned with the effort as legs strained to push himself faster. The trees were much closer now... but Humpty was gaining rapidly. If he could just leap the fence....

Wufei eyed up the strands of wire and judged his distance. He prepared for the leap but unfortunately didn't see the tiny strand of white electrical wire that ran across the top until it was too late. He leapt into the air as Humpty lunged for his leg. The force of the dog brushing lightly against him and the miscalculation cause his legs to flail, and although most of his body cleared the fence, one leg stayed on the other side.

The white strand of wire dragged up the inside of thigh until it reached the juncture of hip and leg and was prevented from going any further. Lodged firmly, the electric pulse passed through the wire... and Wufei's groin.

As Wufei felt the twelve volts hit his nether regions, one word passed through his mind....

.... actually it was two words...

"Oh fuck!"

~ * ~

Evening began to descend on the farm and the animals were all tucked in for the night. The hens had returned to their coop, the sheep and cows safe in their paddocks and a duck swam lazily on the pond. The light shone out from the kitchen window as the pilots all prepared for their evening meal.

Duo sat down gingerly at the table, his balls still a bit sore despite Heero's lavish first aid treatment. The smells from the stove tickled his taste buds and his mouth watered at the thought of dinner. "So what's for dinner Quat?"

Quatre turned around and continued to stir the pot. "Roast chicken and vegetables."

"Hn. Smells okay." responded Heero as he sat next to his braided partner.

Trowa entered the kitchen, his usual grace lacking a little. Duo raised an eyebrow. "You okay Tro?"

"....."

Quatre went a little red.

"Translation please Q-man."

"Umm... we had a little altercation with a rather possessive hen."

Duo giggled.

"I don't think she was too keen on seeing Trowa with me in an errrr.... compromising position."

Trowa rubbed his groin protectively. Damn those beaks were sharp!

"Well you have my sympathies there Tro." Duo gave the lanky teen a rueful grin and cupped his own groin.

"....."

"Kitten. Decided it wanted to play with balls."

".....!"

"Yeah it hurt."

Wufei limped into the room dressed in a pair of Heero's spandex shorts. Four sets of eyebrows raised. Heero just nodded. "Chang"

"Ummm Wufei? Why are you wearing Heero's shorts?" Quatre asked. "Not that you don't look good in them... hell you look great in them, nice package and, well... ummmm...." Quatre thought he had better shut up now.

Wufei glared. "Thanks to that carnal canine I do not have any long pants left to wear. They are all currently soaking."

Duo snickered. "Poor Wuffie, life's a real bitch at times."

Wufei chose to ignore the jibe. "Is dinner ready?"

"I'm just about to dish it up." Quatre beamed as he finished placing food stuffs in bowls. Trowa gave him a hand to bring the bowls to the table and set them down.

"Did you get all these vegetables from the garden Quatre?" Heero asked as he reached for the bowl of potatoes and placed a large portion on his plate.

"Yes. You would be amazed at the variety in there."

Duo passed the bowl of zucchini to Wufei. "I think I will pass thank you Maxwell."

Duo shrugged his shoulders and proceeded to place some on his own plate. "I thought you liked zucchini Wuffy?"

"Not anymore."

The pilots proceeded to help themselves to the various bowls of vegetables, farm work after all was rather strenuous and burnt up a lot of energy. "So where's the chook?" Duo piped up.

Quatre opened the oven and removed the bird. He carried the plate over to the table and placed the golden carcass in the center.

"Oh man you've out done yourself Q." Duo drooled. The bird was cooked to perfection... crispy golden skin, juices dripping, and the aroma....

Trowa's eyes slid shut as he savored the smell.

"Bags me a leg!" Duo yelled and winked at Wufei.

"Settle down Duo, there is plenty for all." Quatre chastised gently as he picked up the carving fork and knife. He stood and poised the implements above the bird and then lowered them. The fork stopped as did the knife. Quatre tried again to push the fork in. The skin broke but the fork would go no further. With a grimace Quatre shoved all his strength into the push but the fork prongs buckled.

Quatre held up the twisted fork. and stared in disbelief.

"Whadd'ya do to it Q?" Duo asked as he studied the bent prongs. "Hit a bone or something?"

"Must have." Quatre frowned.

"Hn. Let me try." Heero took the knife and began to saw. Five minutes later he was still sawing when Duo re entered the kitchen, having slipped out earlier.

"Move over Hee-chan!" Duo called and Heero quickly moved as Duo powered up the chain saw.

"Oh shit!" Wufei, Trowa and Quatre all retreated to the far side of the kitchen as Duo attacked the carcass with a maniacal grin.

The chainsaw made a funny grinding noise, choked, sputtered and then *died* Duo scratched his head as he studied the bent, broken and twisted teeth of the chain. "That sure is one tough old bird." he said as he looked at the chicken still untouched on the plate.

Heero walked over to the table and prodded the chook. "Hn." He picked it up and tapped his knuckles against it. It echoed back. "Hn." Heero then dropped the carcass to the floor where it bounced back sharply. Everyone ducked as the bird ricochet from the floor to rebound off the wall, skim over Trowa, Quatre and Wufei's heads and fly out the window.

"I thought you plucked it?" Trowa said as he watched the bird disappear.

"I did." Quatre replied. "I didn't think it could fly without feathers."

"Yelp!!"

The five pilots all raced to the window and hung over the sill to see what had happened to their dinner.

The bird plummeted to the earth only to collide with the top of Humpty's head, knocking the dog unconscious. As the chicken landed on his skull so one word went through Humpty's mind.... actually it was two words.... "Oh fuck!"

The pilots watched in awe as the chook whacked against the dog and then sailed onwards to flatten the unsuspecting goose. With a honk of surprise and fright the goose took off for the safety of the cow shed.

"Always knew the Tallgeese would be defeated one day." mused Trowa.

The five pilots pulled their heads back inside and stared at the table. "Looks like it will just have to be veggies then." Duo quipped.

"That's okay, I like my vegetables. " Quatre grinned as he ran a hand down Trowa's thigh.

Wufei rolled his eyes. "I'm not hungry."

"Hn." Heero's head jerked up as he heard the familiar beep from his laptop.

The remaining pilots looked at one another as Heero went to check the machine. Moments later he was back. Duo raised an eyebrow in silent question.

"That was from J."

"Oh?"

"We are to stay here an extra week."

Thoughts of milking machines, uncooperative sheep, amorous dogs, rampant chickens, electric fences, playful kittens, horny vegetables, lust filled bulls and hungry geese began to flit through the various minds. They looked at each other, some with fear in their eyes, others with lust as one word came to each persons mind.....

Actually it was two words.....

"Oh Fuck!!"

~ Owari ~