Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Growing Up Girl ❯ Chapter 13

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Growing up Girl

by Jake (FarTooMasculine)

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Warnings: This story contains things that may be offensive to those without an open mind. I wouldn't recommend it to those of a younger age, either, as it contains adult stuff. Please bear with me as I kick my writing ability out of proverbial hibernation. It's been a while. This story contains transsexual issues. A lot of them are based on my own experience, switched around to reflect what it's like for a female, born male.

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Gundam Wing doesn't belong to me.

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Yay! I finally found a way to use my word processor to save as .html! Expect better formatting from here on out! Also, please be sure to read the author note at the bottom.

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I was awaken in the middle of the night by something, someone, touching my arm. My eyes opened and pain filled my head. Heero's arm had fallen off the couch and his hand was on my stomach. Despite the fact that I liked to feel his touch, I pushed his arm back onto the couch. He began to snore. I sat up and looked at him. The lights were still on. His forehead was wrinkled from pain.

I thought that if I woke him up, he could take some aspirin. That would probably help him to sleep better. I kissed his bruised cheek, just to do it. Just because. Once again, I felt gratitude towards him. But I realized there was something else, some other emotion, sitting in the pit of my stomach. It certainly wasn't anger. All of the anger I'd felt towards him was gone when I realized what had happened. I couldn't be angry at him even if I had wanted to. So what was it?

I got the aspirin and a glass of water and sat down beside him again, shaking his shoulder. After a moment, he stirred and slowly sat up. He seemed confused, looking around my apartment as if he didn't recognize it. He touched his face and hissed in pain.

"What the hell happened?"

I looked at him pathetically. "You got beat up, Heero." I held out the pills and the water. "Take these. They'll get rid of the pain and you can sleep better."

He took the pills and handed the water back to me, but didn't seem to want to lay back down. I pulled the blanket up around my shoulders. He looked down at my makeshift bed. "...why are you sleeping on the floor?"

"Trowa and Wufei and Quatre have the bedroom."

"Trowa and Wufei?" He turned his head to glance toward the bedroom, but hissed in pain and turned back around. "My eyes feel like they exploded." He rubbed them. I smiled because that's exactly how I had felt.

After a moment, he opened his eyes and looked at me. His face was swollen. He had two black eyes and looked like a distorted raccoon. I decided I'd try to keep him away from mirrors for a while. "I'm sorry about what happened, Duo."

I grabbed his hand trying to take away any guilt he was feeling. "It's okay, Heero. It was a mistake. And you protected me, yet again. I'm not mad at you."

He started to smile, but his face suddenly went white, eyes widening. He covered his mouth and stood up from the couch, scrambling to get to the bathroom. I heard him throwing up all the way out in the living room. I was worried, but I didn't get up to help him. What could I have done? He returned minutes later with a wet washrag on his forehead, his leather jacket gone.

"I must have a concussion, or something."

He was very matter-of-fact about it. I was worried. I didn't really know what the effects of concussions were. "A concussion? Is that serious? I mean, do you need to see a doctor, or-"

He waved a hand at me. "It's no big deal. I'm just not going to be in the best shape for a while." He sat back down on the couch. I sat next to him and tried to lean up against him without being too obvious. Right then, I needed to be touched and held. I was lonely, even with him right beside me. Lonely and scared.

"I stabbed him, Heero."

He pulled away from me, surprised. "Stabbed? Who?"

"One of those guys. I stabbed him. For all I know, he could be dead. I may have killed someone, Heero." He put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer. I curled up against his side, wanting to crawl into his lap.

"Is that why you didn't call the police?"

I nodded blankly, realizing how dumb that had been. If I had just called them to begin with, instead of going over there, none of this would have happened. But I had to be superwoman. I had to protect him, like he had done for me. I was surprised at myself. It would almost have been a good feeling, were I not worried sick about being a murderer.

"I'll go over there tomorrow and make sure everyone's okay."

I pulled away from him and shook my head. "What if they start a fight with you again?"

He shrugged. "I don't think they would. They were just drunk."

Even after all of that, Heero still didn't seem very angry about it. I just didn't understand men. I didn't. Heero slumped against the couch, head falling forward as fatigue overtook him. He struggled to keep his eyes open. I leaned my head on his shoulder and put my hand on his chest.

When I awoke, it was morning. The sun was pouring through the window like golden water. My head was pounding. It took a great effort just to go to the kitchen and get more aspirin. Heero was still asleep on the couch, snoring softly.

Wufei came out of the bedroom, looking as if he hadn't slept a wink. He noticed the look I was giving him and sneered. "Those bastards made me sleep on the floor." I didn't even feel up to giving him any pity. I doubt I would have, even if I had felt up to it.

He glanced over to Heero. "How's he doing?"

"He has a concussion. But I think he's alright." I sat down on a stool and leaned up against the counter, staring into my glass of water. "There's more aspirin on the counter if you need it."

"No thanks." He sat down on the stool next to mine and leaned against the counter, staring at me. I peered at him. "I'm really sorry for last night." I nearly snorted. I was still angry with him. "If it means anything, I think you're... very pretty, Duo. I mean... I never would have guessed."

Even though I didn't want it, his comment made me feel a bit better, at least about myself. No one had ever told me that before. I sighed and stared into my water glass. "I didn't ask to be this way, you know."

"I know."

"It's just who I am. I can't change it."

"I know."

We sat in silence until Quatre came out of the bedroom. He looked slightly more rested, but also unbelievably stressed. I felt sorry for him, for making him go back in that house and continue fighting. "There's aspirin on the counter. Juice in the fridge. Food if you want it."

He helped himself to two aspirins and a glass of orange juice, then stood at the counter. We sat in silence. Trowa eventually came out, too, and took more aspirin.

We were a sorry bunch. I'm sure we all looked like hell.

It was nearly noon when we finally decided to wake Heero up to check on him. They gave me the honor of doing that. I knelt down beside the couch and shook his shoulder. He slowly opened his eyes, then winced as the light hit them.

"Wha-? What time is it?" He rubbed at his eyes, slowly sitting up.

"Almost noon."

"Guess we need to get going."

Quatre leaned against the back of the couch, peering at both of us. "Going? Where the hell you think you're gonna go, in that state?"

He turned his whole body to look at Quatre, then stood up. "To my place. Gotta check and see if everyone's okay."

Once again, Quatre's jaw fell. "You must be out of your mind, Heero!"

Heero and I both winced at the sound, yet again. I was getting really tired of Quatre raising his voice.

Trowa spoke up. "You beat those guys over the head with a tire iron, Quatre. Aren't you even a little worried about them?"

Quatre suddenly looked contrite. "Well, yeah, but... what if they start another fight?"

"We'll go with you guys."

Eventually, we made it out to Trowa's car. Heero, Quatre, and myself climbed in the backseat. It was a somber drive. Heero nearly fell asleep again. I had to shake him a few times to keep him awake.

When we pulled up in front of his house, there was a dead silence. I felt like we were the only people left on Earth. The streets and sidewalks were empty. All of us were hesitant. Heero got out first and walked slowly towards the door. I nearly got out to follow him, but Quatre stopped me. "The last person they'd want to see is you, Duo. No offense."

Trowa got out of the car and followed him inside.

For the longest time, we just sat there and waited. Wufei turned on the radio, but Quatre made him turn it back off because it made my headache worse. He tapped a tune out on the side of the door. Quatre picked his fingernails.

We all looked up when we heard the door close. Heero walked over to the carport and got on his bike. He was wearing a backpack. He started up the bike as Trowa climbed back in the car. We all stared at him expectantly. "No one's dead." Everyone breathed a sigh of relief. "But God, you guys really messed them up." He was addressing Quatre and myself. I sank lower in the seat. "Obviously, Heero's not going to stay there anymore."

I panicked as I watched him drive slowly out onto the street and down the road. "Where-? Where's he going?"

"To a hotel, I guess. I really don't know."

I pulled on Trowa's seat and sat up. "No! He can stay with me. We gotta catch him! Go!"

Everyone stared at me except Trowa, who quickly started the car and pulled out. It wasn't long before we caught up to him. He was slightly hunched over on the bike, and it worried me. Trowa honked his horn and he sat up straight, swerving slightly, then slowed down and glanced over his shoulder at us. The road eventually turned to two lanes and we pulled up beside him.

We couldn't see his face behind the shield as we all tried to gesture to him to follow us. He nodded and continued to drive. I watched him the whole time, worrying, hoping he wouldn't lose control of the bike. Or lose consciousness while he was on it. He waved at me, just a bit.

I smiled and waved back.

When we got back to my place, I climbed out of the car and jogged over to Heero. He was pulling off the helmet very slowly. The material touching his face as he pulled it off hurt him. "You can stay with me," I blurted out as soon as he'd shut off the bike. "I mean, it's the least I can do," I tried to explain.

He smirked at me and nodded. "Alright, then."

Quatre stuck his head out the window and told me that they were going to take off. I waved at them, shielding my eyes from the sun. "Thanks for letting us stay last night."

"You guys take care of yourselves," I told them. Then I looked over at Heero. He sighed. I stepped closer to him. He got off the bike and took off his backpack. I guessed it had some of his clothes in it.

"Thanks for doing this, Duo. I don't know how long I'd be able to afford a hotel."

We went up to my apartment. I closed the blinds in my bedroom, drew the curtains, and climbed into bed. Heero wasn't far behind. I pulled back the blankets and patted the bed, offering up the other side. He gratefully accepted my offer, closing the door behind him.

The room was dark. I was thankful I'd made thick curtains for the windows. We both lay there, rubbing our heads. I'm sure Heero felt worse than me, but I didn't exactly feel wonderful.

After a while, he fell back asleep. I inched closer to him and curled up at his side. I felt more comfortable than I'd ever felt sleeping in that bed alone, and I fell asleep in seconds.

It was night when we finally woke up. The room was nearly pitch-black. I whispered at Heero in the dark, asking if he was awake. He put his hand on mine. I realized that it was on his chest. He gave my shoulder a squeeze.

I smiled and sat up a bit to look at him. "You need a shower." His shirt smelled. And he probably had dried blood all in his hair.

"I probably do."

He stood up and went to the bathroom and turned on the light. I closed my eyes and only opened them again when I heard the door close. The hiss of running water was the only sound in the apartment. I decided to order a pizza for dinner. I knew Heero didn't feel like cooking. I certainly didn't.

Nearly twenty minutes later, Heero exited the bathroom, wearing a clean pair of pants and nothing more. He curled back up in the bed, smelling fresh and clean. I didn't say anything.

"I have to go home next weekend," he said, breaking the silence. He looked at me in the darkness. I could barely make out his eyes. He was looking right at mine. I pulled the blanket up a little higher.

"How long will you be gone?"

"Friday to Sunday. My mother's birthday."

I looked away from him, nodding. There wasn't really much to say to that. I didn't even know why he was telling me, but I realized why after what he said next.

He slid closer to me in the bed. "Would you like to go?"

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Author's note: I realized when I first started writing this story, maybe in the second or third chapter, that it just wasn't going to work out. Duo Maxwell's personality is completely and totally masculine. Trying to make him into a male-to-female was impossible. Other people have noticed this, that it's OOC, and commented.

I'm upset by this.

I'd originally had another story planned, to be honest. But I ended up writing this one, instead. Now, much later into it, I'm starting to regret that action. The more I write, the more I think back to my original idea and want to get to work on it.

Therefore, I will be putting this story on semi-hold. Not a complete hold, mind you, but the chapters will probably not come out as quickly as they have been. I'm going back to my original idea. I'm going to work on it. I'm going to pour my soul into it. You will be able to find the story under the title, "Soul on Fire," probably in a day or two. It is certain to be much more in-character, much more exciting, and much more in-depth.

If there are any serious complaints about me slowing down this story, or if you read some of Soul on Fire and think that it's complete and total crap compared to this, please let me know. Peoples' comments on my work DO mean a lot to me.