Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing and the Gods of Thunder ❯ Valhalla ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4: Valhalla

Thor's mighty wagon rolled through lush green valleys past clear, swift-flowing streams and stands of spruce and cottonwood trees.

Frey waved a hand at the panorama. “Behold the realm of the gods!” he cried. “Have your eyes ever beheld such beauty?”

“It's really pretty,” Roku said. Everyone was standing up and leaning against the sides of the wagon to look. “Mama, may I be a tiger when we stop? I want to play in the grass. It's really tall.”

“Of course, dear.”

Frey threw his head back and laughed delightedly at this exchange. “Our young sorcerer can shape change?” he exclaimed happily. “I must see this for myself. Pray do not make me wait, for here is the mighty hall of Valhalla; our destination.” He pointed dramatically ahead of them as the wagon crested a rise.

Built on a rise in the middle of a wide valley was a mighty wooden structure some four hundred meter long, two hundred meters wide and perhaps thirty meters tall. Light from the setting sun glittered on golden finials along the roof and cast the intricately carved walls into sharp relief. The vast front doors of the hall stood open and hundreds of people were streaming across the valley floor and winding up the hill into the hall. Many of the people in the throng were being helped along by others and quite a few more were tossed casually over shoulders, their limbs dangling limply.

“Look!” Thor cried. “The heroes of Valhalla are returning from battle. It looks like they had a good day. There are many dead.”

“That is just wrong,” Duo muttered.

“Watch,” Thor continued. “As they step over the threshold, the dead and wounded will be restored by the power of Odin.”

And indeed, just as Thor said, as the warriors entered the mighty hall, the wounded stood tall and the dead were set on their feet. The restored warriors were clapped on their backs by their fellows amid good-natured teasing.

“Now that's a pretty neat trick,” Duo acknowledged.

“What's that building over there?” Trowa pointed across the valley at a smaller structure nestled in a stand of trees.

“That is the home I share with my lovely sister, Freya,” Frey said proudly. “If you look about the valley, you will see the homes of the other gods. Only the heroes live in the great hall. It is my plan that you shall all be my honored guests and share the hospitality of my home.”

“We are honored,” Treize said.

“Yeah, totally honored,” Duo put in, “but if you don't mind, I'd rather stay in the great hall with the heroes. Just to show my respect, you understand.”

Frey chuckled. “Of course. Thor himself stays there more often than not. But to honor my promise to the innkeeper's wife, I shall officially make you Thor's guest. He has a very fine home just beyond the great hall which he seldom uses.”

“I think I'll be Thor's guest, too,” Heero remarked. “I wouldn't mind meeting these heroes who think it's glorious to get slaughtered in battle.”

“What about you, Fei?” Duo asked. “Do you want to stay in the great hall too?”

“I think not,” Wu-Fei replied. “Rolling on the floor with a bunch of drunken and undoubtedly smelly men in unwashed woolens doesn't sound terribly appealing.”

“You're so fastidious.”

“I have a delicate nose,” and Wu-Fei sneezed delicately. A puff of smoke wafted from his mouth.

“Uh-oh,” said Duo.

“It's nothing,” Wu-Fei said quickly. He rubbed his nose.

“Did smoke just come out of your mouth?” Heimdall asked suspiciously.

“Of course not!” Wu-Fei lied instantly. He sneezed again and a little jet of flame shot out and singed the end of Heimdall's nose.

Heimdall stared. “And I suppose you did not just try to set fire to my face?”

Wu-Fei offered him a sickly grin. “Please accept my apologies.”

Frey's eyes were round. “Pray tell me, are you part dragon, or perhaps the descendent of fire-demons? I have heard of such cross-breeds but have seen only the off-spring of Loki, who are not in truth true cross-breeds.”

“No, I'm not part dragon,” Wu-Fei replied crossly. “I just have a few… traits.”

“Like breathing fire,” Heimdall stated flatly.

“Sort of.”

“The scorch mark on my nose would imply a more definite answer.”

Wu-Fei frowned.

“Oh, give up, Fei!” Duo said with a laugh. “It's bound to come out anyway. You breathe fire and have dragon scales. It's nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I'm not ashamed!”

“Then quit hiding it.”

“Hmph!”

Roku chose that particular moment to slip into his tiger form.

“Agh!” Heimdall cried.

“Oh my!” Frey exclaimed.

“Meet us at the front door, sweetie.”

“Ok!” And Roku leaped over the side and dashed away into the tall grass, where he immediately disappeared.

“Does he do that often?” Frey asked excitedly.

“Roku was born a tiger, so he prefers that shape.” Quatre held up a hand before Frey could demand more information. “It requires an explanation. We can talk about it later.”

Frey nodded eagerly. “In truth, Freya and I have room enough to host all of you. We will have many days in which to discuss your fascinating history and talents.” His eyes glittered and he grinned at Zechs. “And I can also come to a fuller acquaintance with this beautiful gentleman.”

Treize frowned slightly.

Heimdall cleared his throat. “Perhaps Wu-Fei would be interested in accepting my hospitality. I am curious about his, ah, traits. I would like to learn more.”

“Do you have something other than mead to drink at your house?” Wu-Fei asked.

“Water.”

“Do you eat anything besides half-cooked mutton?”

“I prefer bread and honey. I also like crabapples and nuts.”

Wu-Fei smiled. “I would be happy to stay at your home, Heimdall.”

“Geez!” Duo muttered.

“Ho, there! Get out of the way!” Thor shouted. He cracked his whip as the wagon moved into the throng of heroes making their way toward the great hall.

“Welcome home, Thor!” a big man with a curly blond beard cried. “You missed a good one today. We slaughtered thousands!”

“So I see,” Thor rumbled. “Well done! You can fill me in on the details over dinner and the feast will taste even better tonight.”

“Aye!” There was a chorus of cheers from all those within earshot.

Thor pulled up beside the wide doors and stopped. “Everybody out! We're just in time for the feast. I'll have the goats pull the wagon over to Frey's house and we can unload your belongings in the morning.” He hopped down and stepped around in front of the goats. He lifted up one big ear of each animal and whispered into them while the others hopped down from the wagon.

Quatre looked around. “Roku! It's time to go in!”

A moment later, the young tiger appeared out of the tall grass and came bounding up to him.

“It's so pretty, Mama, and the water tastes really good!”

Quatre patted him on the head. “I'm glad you like it, sweetie.”

“Do I have to change back?”

“No, you're fine like that.”

The heroes streaming in through the doors slowed down to stare in fascination at the big striped cat.

“Come in, friends, come in!” Thor thundered. “Behold the hospitality of the mighty Odin, Father of All!”

The Gundam pilots looked at each other for a moment and then followed Thor, Frey and Heimdall into the great hall of Odin, the mighty Valhalla. Inside, the hall was a single vast room. The rear quarter of the hall was devoted to vast fire pits for roasting meat and ovens for baking bread. Down the center of the hall were several large raised fireplaces where enormous piles of wood burned. To either side of the fireplaces were tables and benches were the heroes were already sitting down to platters of meat and bread. Wool blankets and furs were piled in jumbles against the walls. Along the back wall, stacks of barrels rose so high that ladders were needed to reach the top row. The smoke from all the fires rose up to the ceiling and formed a thick cloud, where it slowly escaped through smoke holes high in the walls.

“Wow!” said Duo.

“Yeah,” the others agreed.

Thor led them toward the center of the hall and then made his way to the right hand side, where a raised platform was set against the wall. A single long table s stood on the platform, with chairs along the far side instead of benches.

A man with long gray hair and a long gray beard was seated in the centermost chair. He had dark, pupil-less eyes and he studied the newcomers with an intent gaze, a tankard of mead in one hand.

Thor stopped in front of the man and inclined his head. “Mighty Odin, we bring guests to Valhalla.”

“So I see,” Odin said. His voice resonated deeply. He leaned forward. “These are strange guests, I sense. I look forward to making their fuller acquaintance.” His eyes fell on Roku. “This is a strange beast and I sense great power. This is not some new off-spring of Loki, is it?”

“That is no child of mine,” said a short, slightly built man as he stepped up onto the platform. His black eyes, like Odin's, had no pupils and he had straight black hair.

Quatre stepped forward. “He is my son, Mighty Odin.”

“Is he?” Odin studied Quatre with great interest. “Why don't you come sit beside me and tell me about his mother?”

Quatre shifted uncomfortably. “I am his mother.”

Odin's gaze became even more intense. “Truly? Then I insist you come sit beside me. I wish to learn more.”

Frey leaned over and whispered to Quatre, “You better do it. Odin gets really testy when people don't obey him. Never fear; I shall sit beside you also and make sure he keeps his hands to himself.”

Quatre stared in alarm and Trowa frowned. He unhooked the staff from across his chest and dropped it on the floor.

“Why don't you slither up their and keep an eye on Quatre for me?” he muttered.

“As you command,” the snake hissed and it slithered away.

Only Heimdall appeared to notice this and he stared in alarm. “I thought that was just a rope you were carrying.”

“It's sort of magical,” Trowa said quietly. “Let's keep this between us, all right? I don't trust Odin.”

Heimdall smirked. “That's probably wise. Come; let's sit before the heroes eat all the food.”

Thor, Frey and Quatre sat at the high table with Odin and Heimdall sat with the others at a table nearby. Other gods came in as they ate and took seats at the high table, including one extremely beautiful woman whose long blond hair and deep blue eyes immediately proclaimed her to be Frey's sister Freya.

“That must be Freya,” Wu-Fei said. “She's quite beautiful.”

“Indeed she is.” Heimdall stared at Freya with a dreamy expression. “She is the very epitome of female beauty and the embodiment of love and desire.” He continued to stare at her until he noticed everyone was staring at him with amusement. He blushed. “Well, you will find many here who share that opinion,” he said quickly.

“Undoubtedly,” Heero said dryly.

“Oh, here come the Valkyries,” Heimdall said, changing the subject.

The Valkyries swooped into the hall on the backs of giant eagles holding golden spears high above their heads. They shrieked war cries as they circled above the heroes' heads in intricate formations and then leaped to the floor into dramatic battle poses, their spears at the ready. The eagles flew out of the hall and the mighty doors slowly swung shut behind them.

Heimdall shook his head with a grimace. “They can never just walk in. They always have to make an entrance.”

“The warriors seem to like it.” Treize said.

The heroes were on their feet, shouting answering war cries and pounding the tables with their fists. After a long pause to absorb the appreciation of their audience, the Valkyries broke their poses and took seats. They proceeded to tear into the meat and pound down the mead with as much enthusiasm as the men.

“How ladylike,” Zechs murmured.

“They are warriors,” Treize pointed out. “Look at the breastplates they're wearing.”

“And they really are breast plates!” Duo remarked. “They even have nipples on them.”

“That's to make sure you can distinguish them from the men wearing breastplates,” Zechs said cattily.

:Now, now, my love,” Treize murmured soothingly. “Are you getting tired?”

“Yes.” Zechs leaned against Treize. “I feel huge.”

“But you're still beautiful.”

“Oh geez!” Duo muttered. “They're starting again.”

“Be nice, Duo,” Wu-Fei said.

“Does it look to you like Quatre's muttering?” Heero interrupted.

“Yeah,” Trowa said, “but I can't tell if it's Latin from here.”

“That's not good,” Treize said. “Is Odin taking liberties?”

“He better not!” Trowa glared.

“I don't think Mama's transformation spell would work on Odin,” said Roku. He had a haunch of mutton pinned down between his front paws and was happily tearing it to shreds. His face and whiskers was liberally smeared with mutton grease and bread crumbs.

“Maybe not,” growled Trowa, “but a swift kick in the ass should have an affect.”

Trowa's staff appeared and put its head on Trowa's knee. “Would you like me to bite the hand with which he's currently fondling your beloved's thigh?” it hissed.

“Sonuvabitch!” Trowa snarled and he started to rise.

Duo grabbed his arm and yanked him back down. “I'll take care of it.” He hopped up onto the table and raised his tankard. “A toast to the Lords of Valhalla!” he cried.

“To the Lords of Valhalla!” roared the heroes on every side. The toast was echoed to the far side of the hall and tankards were thrust into the air.

Everyone emptied their tankards and the servants rushed about with pitchers, refilling them.

Duo raised his tankard again. “To the unparalleled beauty of the Lady Freya!”

“To Freya!” Again tankards were emptied and refilled.

“To the shining valor of the Valkyries!”

“To the Valkyries!”

“If I drink another toast, I'll die!” Heimdall groaned.

“To the heroes of Valhalla!” Duo raised two tankards and began drinking from both simultaneously, which earned him roars of approval.

“To the heroes of Valhalla!” Dozens of men attempted to match Duo's feat with varying degrees of success. Several just ended up pouring the mead down their chests. Quite a few were starting to look glassy-eyed.

Duo raised his tankard again. “I am honored to be standing in the hall of the Mighty Odin!” He saluted Odin with his tankard. “I drink to Odin!” And he emptied his tankard again.

“To Odin!” came the answering cry, but the heroes were clearly starting to fall off the pace.

Odin, who had been participating in every toast, stared at Duo. “You honor me, young man. But it would seem you have reached the end of your toasts.”

“But Mighty Odin, there is so much more that deserves my humble respect!” Duo lifted his refilled tankard. Several servants clutching pitchers of mead were now gathered around his table. “To the invincible Thor and his mighty Mjolnir!”

“Aye!” Thor pounded the table and surged to his feet. “To Mjolnir!”

“To Thor and Mjolnir!” A number of heroes slipped unconscious under their tables or toppled off their benches.

“To valiant death in battle!”

“To valiant death!”

“To glorious victory in the final battle!”

“To glorious victory!”

“He's trying to kill us!” wheezed Heimdall. He slumped against Wu-Fei. “Make him stop!”

“To the grace and charm of Freya!”

“To Freya!”

“What a minute!” Odin exclaimed. “You already did that one!”

Duo winked at Freya. “But the lady is so incomparably beautiful, she deserves more than one toast.”

Freya blushed prettily. “Oh sir!” she exclaimed in a musical voice.

“To Freya!” Duo cried again and he drained his tankard.

Odin stared uncertainly into his tankard. The honey-yellow mead stared back at him.

“Duo is just a mortal man.” Quatre grinned viciously. “Maybe if you stopped feeling me up and used both hands to hold your tankard, you could keep up with him.”

Odin glared at Quatre. “You are a wizard; perhaps you are aiding him.”

“Duo needs no man's help when he drinks,” Quatre said. “Are you going to just stare at that mead or drink it?”

Odin glared around the hall. Everyone who was still conscious was staring back at him. He stood up and raised his tankard. “I am Odin! I drink to myself!” He tipped up his tankard and started drinking. He slammed the empty tankard down onto the table and glared at Duo with bleary eyes. “No man out-drinks me in my own hall!”

“Well said, Mighty Odin!” Duo cried. “I'll drink to that!” And he drained another tankard.

Odin's mouth fell open. A helpful servant with a gleam in his eye refilled Odin's tankard. Odin stared at it with a look close to horror.

“He's got one up on you, Odin,” Quatre pointed out maliciously.

Odin reached for the tankard and lifted it to his mouth. He tilted his head back as he drank it and slowly his whole body started to tip back. He kept tipping until, like a stately tree, he fell over backwards into the wall and slumped to the floor. A single soft snore escaped him.

“That's amazing!” Frey exclaimed. “I've never seen anyone drink Odin under the table before!”

“That's just because you never met Duo before,” Quatre remarked. “I think it's time to retire for the evening. I've had enough of getting groped by strange men.” They stepped down from the platform and joined the others. Quatre stared at Roku in dismay. “Frey, please tell me you have a bathtub at your house.”

“Of course.”

“Good. Roku is going to need it.”

Roku licked his whiskers. “The food is really good here.”

“So I see.”

Frey chuckled. “Heimdall's looking a little green. Perhaps you should all come home with me and Freya tonight. You can meet the other gods tomorrow.”

“That sounds like a good idea.”

Frey and Freya led the way out of the hall, picking their way around and over snoring men and women. Trowa put a proprietary arm around Quatre's shoulders as they followed, and Heero and Wu-Fei each put a shoulder under Heimdall's arms to help him walk. Roku padded along behind them next to Duo and Zechs and Treize brought up the rear.

“This was fun,” Roku said. “Are you going to drink everybody under the table tomorrow night, Papa Duo?”

“Nah. If everyone passes out again, we won't get to the gambling and sex.”