Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing and the Gods of Thunder ❯ Loki's Offspring ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter 8: Loki's Offspring

“Where do your children live, Mr. Loki?” Roku asked as he bounded across the meadow ahead of Duo and Loki, who were riding horses.

“Oh, all over the place.”

“How many do you have?”

“Five that I know about,” Loki chuckled and he winked at Duo. “But there are probably others. I'm rather fond of my pleasures, like Master Duo here.”

Duo grimaced. “I've tried to avoid the whole reproduction thing, except for one rather notable disaster last year.”

“Oh?”

“I'd rather not talk about it.”

“Do you mean the twelve maidens, Papa Duo?”

“Twelve maidens?” Loki exclaimed.

“Roku!”

“Please!” said Loki. “I'm all agog. Don't leave me in suspense.”

Duo sighed. “Well, there were these twelve maidens. They were kind of sheltered. But this acquaintance of theirs had told them about sex and made it sound really enticing, so when I met them, they were all eager to try it.”

“All at once?” Loki's eyes went round.

“Yeah,” Duo grumbled. “They completely wore me out. Drained me dry. I could barely walk.”

“You are an amazing creature, Master Duo. I know of few mortal men who could master that many maidens in a single night. I warrant Odin has managed it, for he's a right lustful creature himself, but for a mortal that is a most impressive feat.”

Duo brightened a little. “Thanks for the praise, Loki, but just call me Duo. I feel old when you stick that `Master' on there.”

Loki chuckled. “Of course, Duo. Well, whom shall we visit first? One of my offspring, Sleipnir, will have taken Odin and your friends to Midgard, so we'll have to look for him later. I suppose we could visit Hel, but she's kind of depressing.”

“You have a daughter named Hel?”

“Yes. It is her duty to host all those souls who died of old age and disease. As you can imagine, her hall is not noted for its cheer. But if I don't visit her and she learns later that I took you to meet the others, she'll be upset and I'll have to listen to her complaints for years, maybe even decades.”

“I guess we better go then.”

“All right.” Loki tapped his heels against his horse's sides and they traveled swiftly across the Asgard plains. He stopped when they reached a tall open doorway embedded in the side of a mountain. “This is the entrance to Hel's hall. Normally, anyone can pass in but only gods can come out again, but I will bring you both back out.”

Roku examined the entrance curiously. “There's a spell on the door.”

“You can see it?” Loki exclaimed in surprise.

“Yes. It's a one-way portal. The other side isn't really in the mountain.”

Loki stared. “I can see why Master Quatre expressed concern about Roku using big magic. I would not have expected a mortal to even be aware of the spell, much less the fact that it is a passage into another place.”

“Roku is pretty special,” Duo said proudly.

“Indeed. Shall we go in?” Loki dismounted and led the way through the doorway.

Duo shivered when he followed Loki in. “It feels like walking through cobwebs.”

Roku glanced back once they were through. “Don't worry, Papa Duo, I know how to get back.”

“That's good.”

The doorway admitted them to a smooth stone passage leading down at a slight angle. They followed it for several minutes until they reached a set of wide double-doors at the far end. One door was inset with an engraving of a beautiful woman. The other door contained an engraving of a hideous rotting corpse. Loki knocked on the door. The sound of clasps being undone and chains loosened could be heard and then the doors swung inward.

An ancient man waiting on the other side bowed to them. “Welcome, Lord Loki. Our mistress will be glad to see you.” He turned and led the way while two burly bare-chested men with the heads of boars closed and bolted the doors behind them.

Duo lifted an eyebrow. “That's something you don't see every day.”

“The guardians of Hel's hall are all half-men, half-animal,” Loki said. “Hel doesn't like to have anything beautiful around her.”

All the people they passed were either ancient, many bordering on decrepit, or sickly. It was very quiet. They finally entered a great hall, not as vast as Valhalla, but still quite large. At the far end, a woman sat on a wide stone seat watching them approach. She was not attractive. Well, at least half of her was not attractive. The right side of her body was that of a woman as beautiful as Freya. The left side was a decaying corpse.

“Try not to stare,” Loki whispered. “She's a little self-conscious about her appearance.”

“I can imagine,” Duo whispered back.

“Welcome to Sleetcold,” Hel said. Her voice was rich and deep. “To what do I owe the honor of this visit, Father?”

“I just thought I'd drop by. I'm showing my new friends around Asgard.”

Hel regarded Duo with a disdainful air. “He is a mortal.”

“True, but a special man nonetheless.”

She looked at Roku and her imperious manner broke for a moment. “What manner of creature is this? A new sibling perhaps?”

Roku sat down. “My name is Roku, Miss Hel. We're not related.”

Hel sat back. “A beast who speaks! I am fascinated.”

“Roku is also a most special creature, Daughter.”

“I can see that,” Hel nodded. She returned her gaze to Duo. “Do you find my appearance repulsive, Sir?”

“Call me Duo,” said Duo, “and not especially.”

Hel shifted in her seat. “I am not sure I believe that. Living men are always dismayed by the sight of me.” She waved a hand. “Even the residents of my hall will seldom look at me.”

“Do not judge him too harshly, Hel,” Loki chuckled. “He violated Heimdall without a moment's thought and hasn't looked twice at Freya.”

Hel's eyes opened wide. “What?”

“Don't deny that the torment of the gods amuses you as much as it does me,” Loki laughed gleefully. “Heimdall was still walking stiffly the last time I saw him and Freya frets that her loveliness cannot compete with a man's backside.”

Hel began to chuckle. “Is that so?” She grinned at Duo. “Please accept my hospitality, Duo. Anyone who dares to trifle with the gods is a friend to me.” She clapped her hands. “Bring the finest my kitchen has to offer!”

The appearance of food and drink enlivened the locals somewhat, as much as old or sick people could get lively.

“The food is really good, Miss Hel,” Roku said as he tore his way through a large chunk of mutton.

“Thank you, Roku. What do you think of the mead, Duo?”

“It's great!” Duo quaffed the remaining half of his tankard and held it out. “I wouldn't say no to another.” A servant with a sheep's head refilled it.

“But tell me,” said Hel, “what possessed you to, ah, indulge your passions with Heimdall?”

“He took his pants off.”

“That's it?”

Duo shrugged. “I admit I'm pretty easy. And he just looked so cute. I can never say no to a pretty backside”

“I do not believe I've ever seen Heimdall's backside.”

“Trust me, it's worth the look.”

Hel laughed. “I shall remember that. So then you are not drawn to the beauty of Freya like all other men?”

“Well, the truth is, I have some good friends that I usually spend my time with and I only occasionally stray.”

Roku stopped eating and stared at Duo.

“Well, maybe a little more often than occasionally.”

Roku kept staring.

“Ok, when I've been drinking, I sometimes get excited and fool around a little bit.”

Roku lifted his eyebrows.

“Ok, geez! I can barely keep it in my pants most days! Happy?”

Roku resumed eating.

“And you're supposed to be innocent!” Duo grumbled.

Hel and Loki were laughing heartily.

“So I take it your preference is not for women?” Hel said.

“Not normally, no.”

“But neither does he say no!” Loki put in wickedly. “Or did Brunhilde force herself on you by brute strength?”

“She did! I was an innocent bystander until she threw me down and attacked me!” Duo lifted his chin nobly. “I was too much the gentleman to use force to resist her.”

“So that second Valkyrie…?”

Duo flushed. “I was really drunk.”

“Apparently.”

“Let's change the subject.”

“Very well,” said Hel. “I would like to hear about Roku's parentage.”

Duo groaned. “Let's go back to the other subject.”

“The way I heard it,” Loki said mischievously, “Roku was fathered by Duo and three friends on a fourth friend. All the participants were male.”

“Indeed?” Hel's eyes opened wide.

Loki nodded.

Duo put a hand over his face.

Hel looked at Roku. “Is that so?”

“Yes, Miss Hel. My Mama is a man and I have four Papas.”

“Fascinating!”

“There was magic involved,” Duo muttered.

“I suspected that.”

“Mama is a sorcerer.”

“I think you must be one too.”

“I am.”

Hel smiled at Roku. “I am glad to have met you. I do not often get to meet interesting people in Sleetcold. It seems the interesting people always get themselves killed in some exciting way and end up in Valhalla, where my appearance makes me unwelcome.”

“Oh!” Roku exclaimed suddenly. “Mama says I should always thank my hostess for her hospitality and give a gift if I have one.”

“A gift is unnecessary, little one. Your company has been gift enough.”

“But still, I think you'll like this.” Roku stuck his nose under one foreleg and pulled out an ornate silver hand mirror. He propped the mirror between his paws. “It's a magic mirror. When you look in it, it will reflect your pretty face on both sides. And for one hour afterward, that's how you will appear to everyone.”

Hel stared. “Surely there must be a catch.”

Roku hung his head a little. “Yeah, there is. You can only look in it once a day.”

“So for an hour each day, I can look like a normal woman?”

“Yes.”

Hel reached out slowly, took the mirror and looked in it. Instantly, her corpse half disappeared and she took on the appearance of a whole woman.

“Wow!” Duo exclaimed. “I think you're prettier than Freya.”

Hel beamed. “You are most kind to say so, Duo.” She bowed her head gravely to Roku. “Thank you, Roku. This is the best gift I have ever received. I will use it wisely and adhere to the restriction.” She smiled broadly. “A whole hour every day! What do you think, Father?”

“I think you have your mother's beauty.” Loki got up and kissed her on the left cheek.

Hel giggled. “That tickles!” She looked down at her hands. “Maybe tomorrow night I will go visit Valhalla.” Then she lifted an eyebrow at Duo. “Although, it seems a shame to waste this beauty today. Perhaps a kindly gentleman might indulge a lady who's gone without for several hundred years.”

“Several hundred years?!” Duo exclaimed. “An hour might not be long enough.”

“I'm out of practice,” Hel giggled. She held out a hand. “Will you indulge me?”

Duo got up and bowed. “It would be ungentlemanly not to.” He took Hel's hand and she led him from the hall.

Loki chuckled. “This is turning out better than I expected. I will be in Hel's good graces for centuries after this.” He bowed his head to Roku. “Thank you for giving Hel that mirror. Where did you get it?”

“Oh, I made it just now. I only pretended to get it out of my storage space.”

Loki stared. “Was that big magic?”

“No.” Roku lapped at a bowl of goat milk. “It's a standard magic mirror spell. I know a bunch of them.”

Loki shook his head. “I have ensorcelled a mirror or two in my time, mostly to tease Freya into thinking she has aged unexpectedly or lost her looks, but to both create a mirror from nothing and then put a spell on it? You are a very powerful sorcerer, Roku.”

Roku grinned with milk dripping from his whiskers. “Sorcery is fun, especially when you can do something nice for someone.”

“I agree sorcery is fun,” Loki chuckled, “but I prefer causing torment and anguish. It's funny watching the gods suffer.”

“Mama says it's not nice to hurt people.”

“Master Quatre is a kindhearted person. But no one has ever said that about me!” Loki laughed out loud. “So how shall we pass the time until Hel and Duo are finished?”

“I can do circus tricks!” Roku hopped away from the table and produced a large ball, a big hoop and several blocks. “Watch this!” Roku hopped up onto the ball and rolled it back and forth while balancing on top. Hel's residents, old and sick alike, sat up and applauded. He was still entertaining everyone when Duo and Hel returned.

Hel was very happy. She hugged Loki. “Thank you for bringing these wonderful guests, Father!”

“You are most welcome, Daughter.”

“What are you up to, Roku?” Duo said.

“I've been doing tricks.” Roku was balancing on one front paw on the back of a chair which was teetering precariously on one leg on top of a stack of blocks. He flipped off onto his hind paws, waggled his front paws in the air and hopped in a circle before dropping back onto all fours.

The hall filled with applause.

“Well, we should be on our way,” said Loki.

“Come again, if you have time,” Hel said. She grinned at Duo.

Duo grinned back. “I'd be honored.” On the way up the long hallway to the entrance portal, Duo clapped Loki on the back. “Nice daughter you have there, Loki. Quite open to experimentation. She was way more fun than Brunhilde.”

Loki laughed wickedly. “You should not tell me such things. You know I'm bound to repeat it. And possibly embellish it.”

“Don't get me in trouble! Brunhilde's a brute.”

“Oh, I'm definitely repeating that!” Loki cackled. “Brunhilde thinks she's such a delicate thing. My hands are smaller than hers.”

“She does have big hands,” Duo agreed.

“And a moustache.”

“I'm keeping my mouth shut.”

Loki laughed again. “Here we are!” He stepped through the portal with the others and they found themselves back in the Asgard plains. Their horses were waiting for them patiently munching grass. “Let's go see Jormangand now. He doesn't get around much.” They galloped across the plains to a series of low rolling hills. Loki led the way into them on a winding path until they crested a long rise and stopped facing a wide flat outcropping that rose just above their heads.

“That's weird,” Duo said. “That rock looks kind of like scales.”

Loki grinned. “It does, doesn't it?” He leaned forward from the back of his horse and knocked on the rock. “Wake up, Sleepyhead. You've got people riding all over your back and you just lie there like a chunk of the world.”

A big green eye opened in the wall of rock and blinked at them. Then the whole rock stirred and lifted, shedding grass, moss, small stones, a few mice and several insects to reveal the enormous head of a snake. A vast mouth opened in a wide yawn and a long, thick, red tongue extended.

“Good day, Father,” the snake rumbled in a deep hiss. “I was just dozing.”

Duo backed up several paces. “This is Jormangand?”

“Yes,” Loki said proudly. “Jormangand is the Midgard Serpent, the largest creature in existence.” He indicated the hills through which they'd been riding. “What you see here is just his neck. The rest of him stretches underground and through the oceans. He encompasses the world a few times. When he moves, he causes earthquakes.” Loki grinned. “Sometimes I tickle him just to see what gets shaken apart. The last time I did it, we created a new mountain range.”

“And a new ocean,” Jormangand reminded him.

“That's right! Jormangand, these are visitors to Asgard: Duo and Roku.”

Jormangand bowed his head. “I am pleased to meet you.”

Roku eyed the huge snake curiously. “That would be hard to do.”

“What would?” asked Duo.

“Transforming into something that big.”

Duo's eyes went round. “Please don't try it! Quatre will draw and quarter me!”

“I won't. Mr. Jormangand, how can you tell where all of you is? And what do you eat?”

“Truthfully, I can't always tell where my body extends. If I move I can feel it, but I don't move very often. I draw my nourishment from the earth and water in which I rest.”

“That's good,” said Duo, “or there wouldn't be any food left in the world.”

Jormangand chuckled. “Quite so.”

“Loki,” Duo said curiously. “Um, I don't mean to pry… Well, yes I do. How did you manage to produce someone this big? I mean, who was his mother?”

“Well, I spent a few centuries in exile in the land of the ice giants in my youth and I took up with this very pleasant ogress named Angerboda. She gave me three children: Hel, Jormangand and Fenrir. The mixture of immortal and ogre blood produced some interesting results, as you can see.”

“Indeed.”

“I itch,” Jormangand rumbled absently. A low rumble started somewhere a few hills away and then the ground began to shake under their feet. The hills rose, fell and shifted from side to side. “Ah, that's better. Sometimes the dirt gets in between my scales.”

Roku giggled. “That was fun!”

“Not when you're sitting on a nervous horse!” Duo exclaimed. His horse was still prancing from foot to foot nervously. He rapped it on the head. “Stand still, stupid beast!” The horse went still.

Jormangand yawned again and lowered his head. “If you don't mind, I think I'll doze off for another year or two. I've only been napping for the last decade or so and I'm still a little tired.”

“Of course, my son,” Loki patted Jormangand on the nose. “I'll check on you later.” The three of them made their way back down the slopes of Jormangand's neck. “Let's go see Fenrir next. I usually visit him every few days because he gets lonely otherwise and then he breaks loose and causes trouble.”

“Breaks loose?”

“Fenrir is really just a big puppy, so he likes to chase things and chew on things and dig stuff up, but it annoys Odin so he keeps Fenrir chained up.”

“That's mean,” Roku muttered.

“I agree,” said Loki, “so every now and then I let him loose so he can play.”

They galloped across the plains again and then crossed a narrow bridge of stone over a wide, extremely deep canyon to reach a grassy meadow surrounded by high mountains. In the center of the meadow, a giant wolf was chained to a large stone. The wolf stood up and barked furiously when it saw them.

“Hush, Fenrir!” Loki called out. “I brought you some visitors today.”

Fenrir dashed from side to side, wagging his tail furiously. They had to dismount because the horses were not interested in getting any closer to the giant wolf then just inside the edge of the meadow. When they had walked within range of the wolf's chain, Fenrir dashed forward and licked Loki from his boots to the top of his head with a big slobbery tongue that was wider than Loki's body.

Loki turned to the others with a strained smile, wiping wolf slobber off his face and shaking it from his hands. “This is Fenrir.”

Duo stepped out of range of Fenrir's tongue. “He's quite a big fellow.”

“Now this one I could do,” Roku announced thoughtfully.

“Please don't.”

“Maybe later.”

Fenrir leaned forward and poked his nose at Roku, whining eagerly. Roku trotted forward and touched noses with Fenrir. Fenrir favored him with a slobbery kiss that left Roku's fur slick and dripping. Roku shook and slobber flew everywhere, spattering Duo and Loki.

“Thanks, Roku.” Duo wiped slobber drops from his face.

Roku looked at Loki. “Can we play?”

“Certainly.” Loki unhooked the chain from Fenrir's collar. Roku immediately dashed across the meadow at full speed with Fenrir in hot pursuit. “Isn't that sweet?”

“He won't hurt Roku if he catches him, will he?”

“Not intentionally.”

“That doesn't give me a good feeling.”

“Like I said, Fenrir's just a big puppy. He isn't really aware of his size and strength. He would probably still try to sit in my lap if I were foolish enough to sit down in his presence.”

They watched as Fenrir crashed onto his own nose when he tried to follow Roku's sudden dash between Fenrir's legs and under his body.

“You realize, now that Roku knows the way here, he will probably come play with Fenrir when he's bored.”

“That's all right. Fenrir loves company. Besides,” Loki's wicked grin was even more wicked than usual, “if he accidentally lets Fenrir get outside this valley and wreak havoc across Asgard, it would be really funny.”

“No wonder the other gods don't trust you.”

“He wouldn't actually eat anyone. Maybe mouth them a little.” Loki laughed suddenly. “And you have never seen anything as funny as Freya's face when she has wolf slobber plastering her hair to her body. I laughed myself into apoplexy that time.”

Duo's lips twitched. “That does sound kind of funny.”

“And then there was the time he gnawed all the gold decorations off the roof of Valhalla and dumped a pile of gold-flecked droppings right in front of the doors.”

Duo had to stifle a laugh.

“But maybe the funniest thing was the time he ate Thor's hammer and Thor had to follow him around waiting for Fenrir to poop so he could dig through it and find Mjolnir. The pile was as big as Thor! He was coated in wolf shit! It was hysterical.”

Duo finally burst out laughing. “Now that I wish I had seen!”

Roku and Fenrir came dashing back. “We're hungry! When's dinner?”

“Let's go back to my house,” Loki said. “You can meet my other son. We'll bring Fenrir because it always bugs my wife when I do that.”

“You're married?” Duo lifted surprised eyebrows.

“Yeah, but don't hold it against me. I was young when I did it. I think she wants to reform me. Anyway, we'll just spend the night there and then head off to Jotunheim to visit the ice giants.”

“Is that a good idea? The ice giants were trying to destroy the Midgard village we were in when we first arrived.”

Loki grinned. “The giants like to drink, gamble, fight and have sex. They're your kind of people. How bad could it be?”

“Now I understand why everyone else gets nervous whenever I say that,” Duo muttered.