Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing and the Gods of Thunder ❯ Jotunheim ( Chapter 11 )

I have to confess I took a slight liberty a few chapters back regarding Fenrir. Wolves don't bark normally, unless they learn it from dogs. In the wild, they mostly just whine, growl, howl and occasionally yip. But I thought it would be funnier if he barks, so he does. So there.

-o-o-o-

Chapter 11: Jotunheim

The morning that Quatre and Trowa returned to Valhalla with the womanly Odin, Loki, Duo and Roku arrived at Frey's house looking for Heero. They found most of the group in the main hall, discussing events from the previous day.

Loki stopped dead in his tracks and began to cackle wildly when he realized what they were talking about. “In sooth, Master Quatre? Did you really turn Odin into a woman?”

Quatre managed to look a little guilty. “It should only be temporary.”

Loki did a happy back flip. “I must go and see! This worked out even better than I expected. To view Odin in such a state is worth any inconvenience. I'll just dash over to Valhalla before we leave for Jotunheim.” He bounded out the door, still giggling.

“You're going to Jotunheim?” Trowa asked.

“Yes,” said Duo. “That's why we stopped by. We came to see if anyone else would like to go.”

“That might be fun.”

“What's in Jotunheim?” Heero grunted.

“Ice giants.”

“Really?” Heero perked up.

“Sounds interesting,” agreed Wu-Fei.

“Loki says ice giants are a party crowd.”

“What is this about ice giants?” Freya demanded imperiously. She entered the room leaning on Heimdall's arm and walking rather stiffly.

Heimdall was looking very content.

“We're going to Jotunheim with Loki,” Duo said.

Freya sniffed. “Ice giants are nothing but ruffians! All they do is drink, gamble and fight.” She delicately took a seat.

Duo grinned. “Oh yeah, I am so totally going to Jotunheim!”

Freya beamed at Heero. “Good morning, my dear Heero. How are you today?”

“Uh, I'm, uh, fine.” Heero busied himself eating porridge.

Duo stared. “Heero never eats porridge.”

“I like porridge!” Heero insisted around a big mouthful.

Wu-Fei almost choked on his goat milk.

Heero glared at him.

“I didn't say anything!” Wu-Fei protested.

“All right!” Duo planted his hands on his hips. “What the hell's going on?” He glared at Heero and Wu-Fei.

“Nothing,” Wu-Fei said innocently.

“Liar.”

“Sweet Heero!” Freya batted her eyelashes at him. “Why keep secret such wondrous news? Dear Heimdall's attentions notwithstanding, I am certain it is your seed which germinates in my womb this morning.”

Duo's eyes bugged out. “What?! Heero, have you been banging Freya?”

“No! Not really…”

“Don't be so modest, Heero,” Freya cooed. “Your manliness I'm sure puts them all to shame.”

“Well, that's true enough,” Duo agreed, “but still! I was only gone for a day!”

“I didn't plan it!” Heero said defensively. He turned red. “It was an accident. Like you and Brunhilde.”

“I see…” Duo said slowly. “So she overpowered you.”

Quatre and Trowa snickered.

“Yeah!”

Everyone glanced at the slender and delicate Freya. Then they all turned to regard Heero. His flush crept up until the tops of his ears were red.

“That's what happened and I'm sticking with it!”

“Ok, but it's your own fault,” Duo exclaimed righteously. “When you deny yourself regular healthy doses of Duo, just about anything starts to look good. If you'd been fucking me three or four times a night like I recommend, this would never have happened.”

“Duo!” Quatre exclaimed. “Can you be more discrete in front of Roku?”

Roku, however, had most of his face in a bowl of porridge at that moment and gave no sign that he had heard.

Duo plopped down next to him. “Good idea, Roku. May as well have another breakfast while we wait for Loki to get back.”

“Another breakfast?” Wu-Fei exclaimed.

“We had breakfast at Loki's before we left. His wife's a pretty good cook.”

“Loki's married?!” Trowa, Quatre, Heero and Wu-Fei exclaimed in unison.

“Yes,” Freya replied archly, “although what she sees in him is anyone's guess.”

“She's pretty nice,” Duo continued, “but she does put up with a lot. We left Fenrir there and he was busily dragging her clean laundry through the mud when we took off.”

Freya paled. “Fenrir is loose?”

“Yeah. But Sleipnir came over to play with him, so he probably won't come this way until the afternoon. Apparently, he likes marking the door posts at Valhalla, which is what usually gets him chained up. But if Odin's hiding out to keep people from seeing his new tits, Fenrir may be loose for a while.”

“Then I am not leaving this house!” Freya declared.

“I shall be happy to remain at your side,” Heimdall said gallantly.

“He's milking that for all it's worth,” Wu-Fei noted.

“If you get on a roll…” Heero said.

“So who wants to go to Jotunheim?” Duo asked.

“I'll go,” said Heero.

“Me too,” said Wu-Fei.

Quatre clasped Trowa's hand. “We'll go, too.”

Roku licked the last of the porridge from his bowl. “Do you think Mr. Treize and Mr. Zechs would like to go?”

“I'll ask.” Duo hopped up and trotted off.

He returned moments later with Treize and Zechs in tow. Frey trotted along after them.

“Jotunheim is an interesting place,” Frey was saying. “I'm sure you'll find a visit there quite educational. I'd accompany you, but except for Loki, we gods don't get along very well with ice giants.”

Loki burst into the room, giggling hysterically. “Quatre, you are my most favorite person ever! Odin's teats are huge! He makes Frig look like a boy. Even Brunhilde's mighty chest is dwarfed beside him. I nearly wet myself.” He collapsed beside Duo and flung an arm around him.

“I wonder if I should go over there and change him back?” Quatre muttered.

“You said it would wear off,” Trowa murmured back.

“Well…” Quatre looked a little worried. “I've never actually shifted anybody before. I only thought of the spell after Roku said transformations might not work on gods.”

“You think shifting might be permanent?”

“I don't know. I'm not sure.”

“Ask Roku.”

“Hey Roku,” said Quatre, “do you think shifting will wear off like a transformation?”

Roku looked thoughtful. “Were you angry when you cast the spell?”

“Kinda.”

“Then it probably will. But it may be kind of gradual.”

“You mean Odin's bust will slowly shrink away?” Loki dissolved into more giggles.

Duo began to giggle too. “And his thingy will look like a little boy's?”

“Oh!' Loki clutched his stomach. “No more! I can't stand it!”

“What are you talking about?” Treize asked in a puzzled voice.

“Quatre turned Odin into a woman,” Trowa said.

“Really?” Treize and Zechs regarded Quatre with lifted eyebrows.

“What is it about you and well-defined gender roles?” Zechs demanded.

“I think he's still pissed about the time he spent as a woman,” Duo whispered to Loki.

“I heard that!” Quatre growled.

Duo blinked innocently.

“Anyway, Odin had it coming,” Quatre defended himself. “At least I didn't hack him to bits, like Heero probably would have.”

“Don't drag me into this!”

“Maybe we should go to Jotunheim now,” Wu-Fei suggested.

“Good idea,” Trowa agreed.

“Should we pack anything?” asked the ever-practical Treize.

“Besides what's already in Roku's storage space?” said Duo. “Loki said we'd only visit for a few days.”

“We should take our furs,” Zechs pointed out. “The ice giants live where it's freezing cold.”

With that said, everyone hustled off to get their warmest clothes. Then they all gathered outside with Loki.

“Unlike Thor,” Loki said, “I prefer the destination to the journey. So instead of dawdling along in a wagon, I use magic to get around. So…” He spoke a quick incantation, waved a hand, and they found themselves standing in the middle of a blinding snowstorm.

“Didn't we already do this?” Duo cried.

“This way!” Loki shouted and he led them into the wide mouth of a cave. After a dozen paces, torches appeared on the walls on either side and it got marginally warmer. After another dozen or so paces, a huge figure loomed up in their path.

“Who goes there?” a deep voice boomed.

“It's Loki,” Loki said. “Is that you Boomrath?”

“Yes.” Boomrath sounded mournful. “What brings you to Jotunheim?”

“I brought a few friends to enjoy the famous hospitality of the ice giants.”

Boomrath peered at the others. “Humans?”

“Yes, but good people.”

“Then welcome, all,” Boomrath greeted them. “Sadly, you'll have to lift a mug for me. I'm stuck on guard duty tonight.”

Loki laughed. “Who did you irritate?”

“King Kuffrit.”

“Too bad. I'll put in a good word for you.”

“You're a true friend, Lord Loki.”

Loki led the way past Boomrath and continued further into the tunnel.

“How did you know Mr. Boomrath irritated someone, Mr. Loki?”

“Because that's the only time anyone is assigned to guard the entrance. Who do you think is likely to try to sneak into the realm of the ice giants?”

Roku chuckled. “No one, I guess. It is kind of cold here.” He shook, fluffing out his fur and shedding a few last drops of melting snow.

The cave abruptly opened up into an enormous cavern. A few large fires and several dozen torches shed smoky yellow light that didn't quite reach the distant ceiling. The cavern was so big in fact that it managed to make the hairy towering giants that filled it from front to back and side to side look at first like normal-sized people.

“Are those giants all naked?” Zechs asked in surprise.

“It's a little warm in here for them,” Loki acknowledged, “but they hate getting snow in their mead. You might see them throw on a fur cloak or a pair of boots if they have to go outside when the blizzard is really bad. Not like tonight. It's mild outside right now.”

“It gets worse?”

Loki nodded.

“Damn!”

“Anyway,” Loki rubbed his hands together, “I think we arrived at the right time. It looks like the party is just getting started.”

In fact, it appeared that only three activities were going on in the cavern: eating, drinking and dicing.

Duo's eyes were shining.

“This isn't good,” Wu-Fei said.

“Loki!” boomed a towering giant. Thick black and gray hair covered him from head to toe, leaving only his rosy cheeks, red nose and large black eyes exposed.

“King Kuffrit!” Loki shouted. He trotted up to the giant and was lifted in one massive hand so he could more conveniently shake the index finger of the giant's other hand.

“It's been too long since we last saw you in Jotunheim, Lord Loki,” Kuffrit said in a more moderate tone. His voice still rattled their teeth.

“I know.” Loki pointed at the others. “These humans are friends of mine who've been visiting in Asgard. They expressed a desire to meet the famous ice giants, so I brought them over.”

“Friends of Lord Loki are always welcome here!” Kuffrit said heartily. “Good welcome to you all!” He beckoned them into the cavern. “Come! Eat and drink! Try your hand at dice.”

Duo's grin couldn't have gotten any wider. “Thank you, King Kuffrit, don't mind if I do!”

“Here, tiny!” a nearby giant called out to Duo. “Wrap your lips around this if you can!” He handed Duo a tankard of mead that looked like a hogshead in his hands.

“To your health!” Duo cried, and he lifted the enormous tankard and started drinking. And kept drinking. And drank some more. And kept going until he had the mug tipped all the way up and had chugged the entire thing.

A dead silence had fallen all around him, spreading until the only sound heard in the entire cavern was the crackling of the fires and the snapping of the torches. Hundreds of pairs of giant eyes were fixed on the diminutive figure of Duo. As he lowered the tankard, a reverent gasp of awe signed through the cavern.

“Blessed be!” Kuffrit breathed. “I've never seen the like in my entire life!”

“That's a mighty sweet cup of mead,” Duo said.

The giant who gave the cup to Dup scooped him up with one hand. “Come join us, little man! We have crispy fried whale blubber and fresh polar bear steaks to munch on while we throw the dice.”

“Dice?” Duo said innocently. “I might be familiar with that game.”

Quatre rolled his eyes. “Roku, keep an eye on him. And don't let him gamble away everything in your storage space.”

“Ok Mama.” Roku trotted away after Duo and his new giant friend.

Kuffrit put Loki down. “My table is this way. Please join me.”

The rest of the group followed Kuffrit further into the cavern to a long table crowded with several giants.

“What ho, Kuffrit?” a shapely giantess called out. Like Kuffrit, she was covered with hair, although hers was an attractive reddish brown, but the hair did not conceal the femininity of her figure. “Since when do we let children feast in the main cavern?”

Kuffrit laughed. “These are human friends of Lord Loki, Baumgrit.”

“Indeed?” She eyed the newcomers as big hands reached down to scoop them up and deposit them on the table amongst the trenchers, tankards and discarded bones.

Wu-Fei paled. “This table is not clean.”

“Suck it up, Fei,” Heero grumbled.

The young amber-haired giantess holding Zechs examined his round tummy and long hair curiously. “Are you a man or a woman, little creature?”

Zechs frowned. “I'm a man,” he growled. He pointed an accusing finger at Quatre. “You can blame him for the confusion.”

She blinked at Quatre. “That sweet boy?”

“Don't believe his innocent looks. That `sweet boy' is a powerful sorcerer. He enchanted Odin.”

Everyone stared at Quatre.

Quatre tried to look harmless. “He irritated me.”

Several giants went pale, but Kuffrit guffawed loudly. “See there? And you complain when I make you stand guard duty.” He waved a hand. “Fetch Boomrath in! I've got my good humor back now. Open a fresh barrel of mead. Let's have a drink.”

“What is that?” Wu-Fei pointed queasily at a platter of what looked like giant strips of bacon.

“Fried whale blubber,” Loki replied. He picked up a strip and tore off a chunk. “Try it; it's quite tasty.”

“No thank you,” Wu-Fei said faintly.

Heero accepted the chunk of fried fat and took a large bite. “Not bad. A little oily, but it's got an interesting flavor.”

“The giants are great fishermen and hunters,” Loki said. “They mostly eat whales and polar bears, but they make this really great stew out of lobsters, crabs and assorted fish.”

“Sounds good.”

Everyone sat down cross-legged on the table and started munching on whale and polar bear steaks, including Wu-Fei, who put on a brave face while he ate a portion of fairly well done polar bear.

“Perhaps you think it odd that cold-living creatures like ourselves prefer cooked meat,” Baumgrit said, “but we are civilized creatures, after all.”

“Of course,” Treize said graciously.

“Those snobby gods and goddesses think we're savages,” Baumgrit complained. She tossed a gnawed bone over her shoulder. “We're just as refined as they are.”

“Absolutely,” Treize agreed.

Baumgrit squinted at him. “You're not making fun of me, are you?”

“Absolutely not.” Treize stood up and offered Baumgrit a deep bow. “I have lately been a guest at the tables of kings, lords and gods, and none was any finer or more gracious than what you offer here.”

Baumgrit smiled and lifted her tankard of mead in a toast. “Courteously spoken, sir! To your health!” And she chugged her mead as skillfully as Duo.

“To your health!” the other giants echoed and they all chugged their mead.

“Another round!” Kuffrit cried and someone rolled over another barrel.

“Where do you get the mead?” Quatre asked. “I don't imagine you have a lot of beehives around here.”

“We steal it from humans, of course!” Kuffrit laughed. Then he peered at Quatre. “You're a sorcerer, Loki said. Was it you that broke our spell the other day and caught us out in the sun?”

Quatre flushed. “I had a hand in it, yes.”

Kuffrit chuckled. “And we were just about to knock over that village, too. They make the best mead in Midgard there. That was disappointing.”

“And I had just got my hands on a couple of fat sheep!” Another giant called out.

“I'm still sunburned!” complained a third.

“Sorry about that,” Quatre said, “but when you knock the buildings down, the humans end up freezing to death.”

“But there're lots of them!” Baumgrit exclaimed. “They breed faster than cave lizards. If we didn't wipe out a village or two of them every now and then, all of Midgard would be overrun.”

“She has a point,” Wu-Fei said. “Overpopulation is a problem in the future.”

“Don't you start!”

“Mama!” Roku hopped up onto the table. “Papa Duo wants to know if it's ok if he puts what he's winning in my storage space.”

“What's he winning?” Quatre asked suspiciously.

“Mostly pretty stones and bits of gold. He says the pretty stones are opals.”

“I guess that's ok.”

“We use the stones for trading,” said Kuffrit. “The humans like the bright colors.”

“So if you have stuff to trade,” asked Trowa, “why knock over the villages and steal?”

“Because it's fun.”

“Oh.”

“Show us a magic trick, Master Sorcerer!” cried the pretty amber-haired giantess. She still had Zechs cupped in the palm of her hand. He reclined lazily against her curled fingers with his feet dangling over the side.

“Yes! A trick! A magic trick!” several other giants cried out immediately. They crowded around and stared at Quatre expectantly.

Quatre stood up. “Well…” He thought for a moment and then held out his hand. “Novi inlustris apparere!” A shimmering white flame appeared above his palm.

“Oooohhhh!” The giants all squealed in unison. “How pretty!”

“And it's not hot,” Quatre said. He tossed the ball of fire at Kuffrit.

Kuffrit flinched back and then reached out to poke a tentative finger at the light floating in front of his face. “Blessed be!” he exclaimed. Other giants leaned forward to poke curious fingers into the flame.

“It's brighter than the torches,” Baumgrit noted. “And there's no smoke.” She eyed Quatre hopefully. “Maybe you could teach us this spell?”

“Sure.” Quatre repeated the phrase and Baumgrit echoed him, her hand stretched out. A flicker of flame appeared briefly above her palm and winked out.

“I almost did it!”

“Try again. Put more will into it.”

“Novi inlustris apparere!” Baumgrit spoke firmly and a big ball of pale yellow light appeared. She laughed happily and tossed the flame up toward the ceiling. She did it again and then other giants started copying her. Soon the ceiling was host to several dozen shimmering balls of flame in various hues. Baumgrit clapped her hands delightedly. “Extinguish the torches!” she cried. “Now we have cool bright light thanks to this fine young sorcerer.” She picked Quatre up and carefully kissed his cheek. “I declare these humans part of the ice giant tribe!”

Thunderous applause echoed through the cavern.

“Won't those flames go out eventually?” Treize asked.

“Yes, after a few hours or when the person who cast the spell wishes the flame away.”

“This calls for music and dancing!” Kuffrit cried. “A celebration to honor the new members of our tribe.”

Pipes and drums were produced and space cleared in the center of the cavern for dancing. The humans moved to the edge of the table and sat down to watch.

“You know, these giants are a pretty fun crowd,” Zechs said. “I don't understand why Odin thinks they are going to start Ragnarok.”

Loki chuckled. “The giants are a lot like me. Sometimes their jokes get a little out of hand. But they aren't mean-spirited.”

Duo and Roku threaded their way through the dancing giants and jumped onto the table beside the others.

“Did you clean them out?” asked Wu-Fei.

“Not completely!” Duo's eyes sparkled. “But there's always tomorrow!”