Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing and the Men of Sherwood Forest ❯ Robin's Unfortunate Situation ( Chapter 8 )

Chapter 8: Robin's Unfortunate Situation

“Zechs,” Treize murmured. “You have got to stop flirting with people. I've had to start telling everyone you're married to my sister and I share a room with you to ensure your fidelity.”

Zechs smiled sweetly. “I think my hypothetical spouse might object to your present position between my legs.”

“Smart aleck!” Treize kissed him on the nose. “But really, I'm starting to get jealous.”

“Treize Kushranada, if you think I have any intention of sharing my bed with anyone but you, you are utterly mistaken. But if it really upsets you, I'll stop.” Zechs kissed Treize on the chin. “However, I think you should punish me terribly for making you feel bad. I think I need a severe spanking for my misbehavior.” He smiled seductively. “Shall I turn over?”

Treize drew in a deep breath. “I think you should definitely turn over. I hate to do it, but I agree you need a thorough paddling for being so naughty.”

Zechs licked Treize's neck from the hollow of his throat to his ear. “Please don't hold back. I need to feel deep inside me how upset you are.”

Treize groaned and sat back on his heels. “Turn over! I'm more than ready to give your pretty bottom a long, hard whipping.”

Zechs rolled onto his hands and knees with a wide grin.

In the room next door, Trowa sat in the open window talking to a barn owl.

“I had no idea owl's were so observant.”

“Humans are interesting creatures,” replied the owl in its deep hooting voice. “Observing their antics occupies my days.”

“I thought you slept during the day.”

“Not all day.” The owl blinked. “I thought humans mated at night.”

Trowa chuckled. “Not all the time.”

“It does seem to be a preferred behavior, however. I imagine that is why there are so many humans.”

“Probably so.”

“The mating of the males in the neighboring rooms will not result in offspring, however.”

“Ah, no, I expect not.”

“Why then do they do it? This is something that has always confused me.”

“Mating is very pleasurable for humans. We often do it to show affection for someone we care about.”

“I see.” The owl fluffed out its wings. “Well, it is time to hunt. Perhaps we will speak again. Conversing with a human is most intriguing.”

“I'd like that.”

The owl hooted a farewell and floated away on silent wings. Trowa closed the window with a sigh.

In the next room down the hall, Wu-Fei looked toward the window. “Did you hear an owl just now?”

“What?” Duo panted.

“An owl. I heard an owl outside the window.”

“I'm obviously not doing this right,” Duo grumbled. “I don't seem to have your full attention. I'll try harder.”

“Ungh!” Wu-Fei grunted. “You have my attention!”

“I'll be the judge of that.”

Quite a long time later, Wu-Fei sprawled across the bed and let out a long groan. “That's the last time I talk about anything but sex during sex. I am so raw!”

“Yeah, but it was good, wasn't it?” Duo said with a contented sigh. “I feel great.”

Wu-Fei glared at him. “And I was paying attention! It's just been a long time since I heard an owl that close, that's all.”

“It did sound really close.”

“What?!” Wu-Fei sat up with a shout. “You heard it too?!”

“Of course I heard it. It was right outside the window.”

“You sonuvabitch!” Wu-Fei cried. He leaped onto Duo and started pummeling him.

“Hey! Stop it! I thought you were tired!”

“Not too tired to beat the shit out of you! You fucked me raw and you knew what I was talking about the whole time!”

“I never said I didn't! Ouch!” Duo grabbed Wu-Fei's hands and rolled over on top of him. “Cut it out, Fei, or you'll get me all excited again!”

“Bastard!”

“You loved every minute of it and you know it.”

“Wretch!” Wu-Fei yawned suddenly. “If I wasn't so tired, I'd definitely beat you up.”

“I'll consider myself beat up then.”

“Good!”

“Good night, Fei.”

“Good night, Duo.”

It was barely dawn when Trowa poked Duo in the side to wake him.

“Wake up, Duo! Daylight's wasting.”

“Daylight?” Duo opened one bleary eye. “It's the middle of the night. It's still dark out.”

“The sun will be up in an hour. We're supposed to be servants. We need to go look after Treize and Zechs.”

“Not likely,” Wu-Fei muttered from the other side of the bed. “They're probably having their wakeup session right now.” He pulled the covers over his head. “Why don't we wait until they send for us?”

“You two are just being lazy.”

“And you just miss Quatre. Come back when the sun's up.”

“Come on you two!”

“Get out, Trowa!” Duo threw a pillow at him. “We haven't slept in a bed for days. Give us a break.”

“Fine! I'll come back in an hour!” Trowa stomped out.

“Man, I hope Quatre gets back tomorrow!” Duo grumbled.

“Me too!” Wu-Fei snuggled further under the covers.

“Now, I'm all awake,” Duo muttered.

“Entertain yourself. I'm still sleeping.”

“You don't need to be awake.”

“Touch me and you die.”

“Aw Fei!”

Wu-Fei faked a loud snore.

Duo grumbled to himself as he curled up with his back to Wu-Fei.

As it happened, no one was stirring in the castle when the three Gundam pilots finally wandered down the hall to knock on the door of the bedroom that Treize and Zechs shared.

“Come in!”

“Good, you're up,” said Trowa.

“Treize has been up for hours,” Zechs said with a suggestive grin.

Treize chuckled. “Be good, my love.”

“Should we go back to Sherwood?” Trowa asked.

“Not yet,” said Treize. “Let's wait until the Sheriff gets back. I want to hear how his sweep went.”

“That's a good idea,” agreed Wu-Fei. “I'd like to find out more about the Midsummer Festival while we're here anyway.”

“Why don't you eat in the kitchen again?” suggested Zechs. “It might be interesting to compare the perspective of the common people versus the nobility.”

“Ok.”

As he promised, Zechs behaved himself all day and barely flirted with anyone, although his charming manners and stunning smile were difficult to distinguish from actual flirting.

“You might have to punish me again,” he murmured to Treize at one point.

“I may really spank you this time.”

“Promise?”

“You are so naughty.”

“Only for you.”

It was late in the afternoon when the Sheriff and his men returned. Guy of Gisbourne had not accompanied the search party, since he was found face down under a table at an inn at dawn when the men were preparing to leave. Attempts to wake him had been unsuccessful, so he was left there by the Sheriff, who was reportedly spitting nails.

Now Gisbourne stood in front of the Sheriff in the middle of the main hall with a slightly pained expression while he was berated for shirking his duty. Various lords and ladies who clearly had nothing better to do watched with great amusement.

“I am extremely disappointed, Gisbourne,” Sheriff Mark said in a low angry voice. “What am I paying you for, if not to deal with brigands and highwaymen?”

“It won't happen again, my lord Sheriff,” Gisbourne muttered.

“I should hope not. This whole incident has turned into one big fiasco. First you allow Robin Hood's men to rob the bishop and then you drink yourself into a stupor on the very morning when I mean to hunt him down.”

Gisbourne's eyes glittered. “Did you catch him?”

“No! We did not see a single person in Sherwood, except for a band of charcoal burners who had a permit from Mayor DeBoers.”

“But how is that?! We know Robin Hood and his men hide out in Sherwood!”

“If I knew that, he would be languishing in my dungeon right now!” The Sheriff glared at Gisbourne. “He is obviously too clever to be caught flatfooted. We will have to lay a trap for him.”

“That sounds rather ungentlemanly,” Treize interrupted smoothly.

Sheriff Mark rounded on him. “This is no time for such niceties,” he growled. “The Church is up in arms. I have to answer them.”

“Ah, no doubt, no doubt,” Treize said. “I sympathize with your predicament. Have you tried asking for return of the money?”

The Sheriff stared. “Thieves are not going to just return their ill-gotten loot.”

“I suppose not.”

“Lord Treize,” Sheriff Mark said in a patient voice. “I know you are trying to be helpful, but this is a matter for the law. Robin Hood must be brought to justice.”

“Assuming one has proof he is responsible.”

“I know he's responsible! There are witnesses! Gisbourne saw him!”

“I heard that this bandit goes by the name Robin Hood, but is that truly the same person as Robin of Locksley? Even if misfortune has reduced Sir Robin to a destitute state, I cannot imagine any person of breeding resorting to thievery as a livelihood.”

“This would not be the first time.”

“Still, it would be a terrible precedent to arrest him without solid proof.”

The Sheriff scrubbed a hand over his face. “I will have solid proof. I will recover the stolen tithes in his possession.”

“I see.” But Treize's expression remained doubtful. “Of course, I don't doubt that you know what you're doing, my lord Sheriff.”

“Thank you.” Sheriff Mark did not quite manage to keep the sarcasm out of his voice. “Will you be staying at the castle another night, Lord Treize?”

“Sadly, no. I have business that will take me away from Nottingham briefly. However, I hope to return quickly. I look forward to spending a little more time in the company of the Lady Marian. She is such a lovely and delightful young woman.”

The Sheriff frowned. “Are you unmarried, Lord Treize?”

“I am.”

The Sheriff's frown deepened. “Lady Marian has many suitors for her hand.”

“I can believe that. She is a woman of great beauty and intelligence.”

Zechs stepped forward. “I think it is time to go, my lord. I see our servants have returned to collect us.” He nodded toward the entrance, where Trowa, Duo and Wu-Fei waited.

Gisbourne glanced toward the door and frowned. “Those men are in your employ? The one with slanted eyes looks familiar.”

“Do you think so?” Zechs said airily. “In truth, I cannot tell one Chinese from another. But he's very clever with his hands. He does wonders for sore muscles. And he can massage away the worst headache. Would you like to try him? I daresay your hangover from yesterday has left you with a pounding head.”

Under the weight of the Sheriff's glower, Gisbourne shook his head. “No thanks. It's just that a man like that was among the bandits who attacked the bishop.”

“Really? Well, there are so many foreigners everywhere these days, it's no great surprise. Some knight probably brought him back as a prize from the Crusades and then grew tired of him. The poor wretch is probably making a living the only way he can.”

“Maybe so.” Gisbourne continued to stare suspiciously at Wu-Fei.

“If you will excuse us, Sheriff, we must go take our leave of Lady Margaret. Until next time.” Treize inclined his head politely and walked away with Zechs at his side.

Outside the castle, Zechs glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot. “If the Sheriff couldn't find Robin and his men in Sherwood, how are we going to find them?”

“No problem,” said Trowa. “I'll just ask the birds. They'll know.”

“Oh, that's right; I forgot you can speak to animals.”

Following Trowa's lead, the group marched deep into Sherwood until they found the Merry Men settled in a clearing bisected by a small clear stream.

“Welcome back, gentlemen!” Robin exclaimed. He bounded forward to shake everyone's hand. “I trust you spent a pleasant evening sleeping on soft down mattresses?”

“A most pleasant evening,” Treize assured him. “We will likely go back in a few days and stay through the Midsummer Festival.”

“Ah, how fortunate you are! I miss the comforts of a fine home in truth, although the companionship of my good comrades is a fair comfort.” He beamed around at the Merry Men.

“Did you learn anything of value, my lords?” asked Little John.

“Yes, we did. For one, Gisbourne can't hold his liquor. For another, the good Sheriff knows far less about Sherwood than he ought. But most importantly, he is determined to arrest Robin Hood as a highwayman.”

“That's not good.”

“He spoke of laying a trap for Robin.”

“Well, I refuse to be intimidated!” Robin struck a dramatic pose. “I work for the good of the common people. My safety is of little concern.”

“All the same,” said Treize, “I think keeping a low profile for a week or two might not be a bad idea.”

“We learned something else,” Duo put in. “We learned what the prizes will be for the contests at the Midsummer Festival.” The Merry Men perked up. “The winner of the joust will receive a cup made of pure gold. The winner of the melee will receive a gold medallion and the winner of the single combat will receive a gold necklace. The winner of the shooting match will receive a golden arrow.”

“A golden arrow?!” Robin explained. “Do you mean an arrow made entirely of gold?”

“That I do. We heard it's worth a small fortune.”

“But who would put up such prizes?” Little John asked.

“Apparently, Mayor DeBoers got all the wealthiest merchants to donate toward the prizes so he can advertise the Nottingham Midsummer Festival as one of the finest in the kingdom.”

“A golden arrow,” Robin said wistfully. “Such a fortune might be nearly enough to repay my debt.” He sighed deeply. “And were I to regain control of my estate, I might ask my dear Maid Marian for her hand in marriage. Alas!”

Duo stared at Robin in round-eyed horror. “Tell me you're not thinking what I know you're thinking!”

Robin blinked at Duo in confusion. “I beg your pardon, Master Duo?”

Duo put a hand over his face. “Please don't tell me that you've never had intimate relations with Lady Marian.”

“Master Duo!” Robin exclaimed in shock. “My Lady Marian is far too virtuous to be seduced outside the bonds of holy matrimony. I can wait until the church sanctions our union.”

“Saints above, Robin! It's positively indecent for a man your age to be a virgin. I can't think of a crueler fate than sexual deprivation.”

“It's not deprivation if you don't know what you lack, Duo,” Zechs remarked.

“Who are you to talk? You haven't gone without for more than six hours at a stretch lately.”

“That's not true. I slept for nearly eight hours the other night.”

“Ha!”

“I know it seems quaint, Master Duo,” said Robin, “but I feel it would be unfaithful to indulge my passions without any thought for the feelings of my dear Maid Marian.”

“I think it's sweet,” Trowa said.

Duo shuddered. “Robin, I can't bear the thought of all that virginity festering inside you. Trowa, you need to enter the shooting contest and win that golden arrow for Robin.”

Robin was stunned. “Would you do that for me?”

Trowa smiled. “I'd be glad to.”

Robin bowed deeply. “Gentlemen, you honor me and I find myself without words. Such a kindly offer can only be accepted with grace and gratitude.”

“In that case,” Heero interrupted, “you can have the other prizes as well. I was planning to win the joust, but if you really want the money, I may as well win the other contests, too.”

Robin alternately flushed and went pale. “I… I don't know what to say. I can only stand astonished in the face of such selfless generosity.”

“Don't get all gushy,” Heero grunted. “It's just we'll never shut Duo up on this topic if we don't help you out.”

“Thank you, gentlemen! Thank you, thank you!”

“I said don't get gushy.”

“Have you ever heard such a thing, Little John?”

“I have not,” Little John grinned. “It was a happy day I found these men in the woods, it seems.”

“A happy day indeed.”

When Quatre returned two days later, he received the news of Trowa's intention to enter the shooting contest with a slight frown.

“Didn't Treize say that the Sheriff is planning to set a trap for Robin?”

“Yes.”

“And doesn't everyone think Robin is an expert marksman?”

“Yes.”

“And isn't it common knowledge that Robin is trying to raise enough money to buy back his estate?”

“Yes, I believe so.”

“So doesn't it follow that the Sheriff is likely to set his trap at the shooting contest?”

“Possibly,” Trowa conceded. “But I don't look anything like Robin, so I'll be in no danger.”

“I certainly hope so.”

“Quatre, why don't we talk about this privately?”

“You aren't going to convince me this isn't dangerous.”

“I wasn't planning to try. Let's step out of the clearing for a moment.” Trowa took Quatre's hand and led him away.

“They're going to be naughty,” Roku whispered to Duo.

“You don't have to be a mind-reader to figure that out,” Duo agreed. “But at least he'll quit moping. He's been positively pathetic while you two were away.”

“Mama and Papa Trowa like each other very much.”

“So we noticed. How was Gift?”

“Hungry. He taught me how to hunt like a dragon. I ate a cow.”

“A whole cow?!”

“Yup. It was a little one, though.”

“I'm still impressed. Hey, if you don't mind, I have a few items I'd like to tuck into your storage space.”

“Ok.”

“I notice how you waited until Quatre was gone to ask that,” remarked Wu-Fei.

“I ain't stupid,” Duo replied. Then he rubbed his hands together. “But I am hungry. Who's ready for lunch?”

“Me!” Roku cried.

Little John chuckled. “We have fresh venison today and since I knew you would be back, I set aside a few ribs chops just for you, little one.”

“Thank you very much, Mr. Little John.”

“You're welcome, Master Roku.” Little John bowed and waved a hand toward the fire pit. “Right this way, if you please.”

Duo trailed after them and Wu-Fei brought up the rear.

“You are going to leave some meat for the rest of us, I hope?” Wu-Fei said.

“Of course!” Duo grinned. “Now that Roku's back, we can go rustle up some pheasant after we eat to have for a snack later.”

Wu-Fei shook his head. “You're unbelievable.”

“And amazing in bed!”

Wu-Fei groaned.