Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing: And The Old Hag ❯ THE END! ( Chapter 6 )

Part VI of

Gundam Wing: And The Old Hag

Last time, Trowa, Heero, and Milliardo had disappeared! The remaining people in the gang were headed to California, in search of the Old Hag! So let's see what happens! And…ummm…for those of you who are wondering…the generation of Beatles that are used, are the 26-27 age area…**Pulls out script and begins to read**

Duo: …I'm not board anymore…

Ringo: Well we're here but I don't think the car is…

John: Sorry about the car mates…**Stairs at Paul, angrily**

Paul: …Well, let's find that pineapple…**Stairs at John, angrily**

Ringo: I guess so…**Stairs at John and Paul** ?-?

Wufei: We're going to have to fix the car first!

Duo: …ok…

(They all start pushing the car)

~When they found a repair shop…~

Paul: …this place looks weird…

Quatre: And strangely familiar…

(They are all looking at and old broken down gas station, with strange country music playing from it's broken windows)

Duo: I'll go see if anyone's there…

Wufei: I'll go too…

Quatre: Me three…

John: I'll just stay, thanks!

Ringo: Yea! Have fun!

Paul: …spooky…

George: I'm allergic to country music…

All: -_-``

Quatre: Sure…

(The three gundam pilots walk up to the gas station door)

Duo: You can go first Wufei!

Wufei: What? Are you afraid!?

Quatre: **Shakes head and walks in-but stops as soon as he enters the door…**

Duo: **Shakily** N-NO! I'm not! I-I just thought, you being as strong as you are, you would like to go first!!

Wufei: FINE! I WILL THEN! **Walks in, running into Quatre-and making both of them fall on their faces'**

Duo: …watch out for that first step…

Wufei: Thanks for the warning…**Gets up**

Quatre: come on you two…**gets up and walks farther into the store**

Duo and Wufei: **Shrug** Ok…**Both follow Quatre**

(Quatre begins walking toward the room behind the cash register, and then stops)

Duo: What?

Wufei: Why'd you stop??

Quatre: There's a TV on in that room! **Points**

Duo: …-k-…

TV voice: AND TONIGHT ON THE WWF SUMO SPECIAL, WE HAVE STEVE AUSTIN IN A DIPPER!!!

TV Audience: YEA!!!!!!!

TV voice: AND WE HAVE BILLY BOB JOE! THE MAGICAL FLYING FAIRY ELF, FROM MARS!!!

TV Audience: **SILENCE- crickets chirp in background**

TV voice: AND HE'S IN A DIPPER TOO!!!

TV Audience: YEA!!!!!!!

A deep crude voice: STUPID SUMO WRESTLERS! THEY'RE NOT FAT ENOUGH! THEY NEED TO EAT MORE KIT-KATS! **Drinks beer-then belches**

Quatre: **Turns pail** UGG…

Duo: You ok Q-man?

Quatre: …yeah…fine…

Wufei: **Sees a small dinging bell** may be this will help! **Dings the bell**

(A very, very, very, very Fat Guy, I mean he's fat! Like a bus! Comes through a large hole in the wall)

Fat Guy: WHO RANG THAT BELL?? **Eats Kit-Kat in one bite-then sees Quatre** HEY-IT'S Mr. Karl Gambolputty de von Ausfern -schplenden -schlitter -crasscrenbon -fried -digger -dangle -dungle -burstein -von -knacker -thrasher -apple -banger -horowitz -ticolensic -grander -knotty -spelltinkle -grandlich -grumblemeyer -spelterwasser -kürstlich -himbleeisen -bahnwagen -gutenabend -bitte -eine -nürnburger -bratwustle -gerspurten -mit -zweimache -luber -hundsfut -gumberaber -shönendanker -kalbsfleisch -mittler -raucher von Hautkopft of Ulm!! (that was from Monty Python's Flying Circus, episode 6…)

Quatre: MY NAME IS QUATRE!!

Fat Guy: …WELL, IF THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA` ACT!! THAN WHAT DO YOU PUNKS WANT?!

Duo: **Stairs** some tools…

Fat Guy: WE AIN'T GOT ANY PUNK! WE ONLY GOT SOME KIT-KATS!

Wufei: ………………right………… ..

(four screams are heard from outside.)

Quatre: THE BEATLES! **Runs to the door only to run into the TAE-BO guy…**

Tae-Bo guy: Are you fat? Then work you're tooshi with my very expensive Tae-Bo tapes!

Quatre: **Faints**

Tae-Bo guy: WOO-WEE! That boy needs to eat more! **Sees fat guy** WOO-WEE! And you need to eat less! AND! **Starts dancing around like he's gay** you need to buy my tapes!!!!!!!

Duo: **Blink** Well now…that's something you don't see everyday…

(The Beatles run in)

John: RINGO! GET QUATRE THE BLOODY ELL OUT OF HERE!

(Ringo drags Quatre out of the gas station)

Fat Guy: WHAAA!! HEY! IF YOU GET THIS GUY OFF MY BACK, I'LL GIVE YOU THE TOOLS YOU NEED!!

Duo: **Thinks** OK! **Runs to the cash register, grabs a Kit-Kat bar, then turns and walks very slowly toward Tae-Bo guy** Look what I got Mr. Tae-Bo guy!

Tae-Bo guy: AHHH!! Get it away from me! It has more that 0 grams of fat! **Runs away screaming like a baby**

Fat Guy: **Lying on the floor from all the excitement…** Thanks…can you help me up?

(The all look at each other horrified)

Wufei: Well…uh…

Paul: I suppose we could…

John: **whisper** PAUL!

Paul: **Whisper** JOHN!

(Ringo returns to the room with a very sick looking Quatre.)

Ringo: Did we miss anything?

George: Oh…you don't want to know…

Fat Guy: HELLO?!!?

Duo: Well Quatre can you help?

Quatre: I guess…**Walks over to the Fat guy**

John: OK! Everyone together!

All: ONE! TWO! THREE!

(Nothing happens)

Paul: Did anyone besides me pull?

Duo: Yeah…

Wufei: I think we all did…he just didn't move…

Fat Guy: WHAT ARE YOU SAYEN` KID? THAT I'M THE SIZE OF A BUS???

Ringo: **whisper to Duo** yup…

(A cloud of smoke enter the room and the author steps out coughing.)

Author: {CENSOED} IT! I told them I didn't wanna come in that way!

Duo: …

John: Oh, Bloody ell…what did we do wrong this time?

Author: nothing…I just need to give this to you…it may help in the scene…OK boys! BRING IT IN!

(Some men drag Altron onto the set)

Wufei: NATAKU!

Author: …yeah…use it…

Wufei: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! **Jumps in Altron**

(The arm on the back of Altron comes out and grabs the Fat Guy)

Fat Guy: HEY THAT TICKLES!

Duo: **sigh**

(The arm of Altron starts to shake)

Wufei: OH NO! NATAKU!

(The Boys that are on the ground go underneath the arm and help Altron lift him, they finally get him on his feet after Altron had been severely damaged.)

Author: OK! Take Altron to get fixed…**the men take Altron away**

Duo: Thanks!

John: **whispers to the author** We wouldn't of gotten him up without you…

Author: you're welcome! **A big puff of smoke comes again** …oh no…not again! **Pulls out a giant fan to blow all the smoke away** there…**walks out of the room without the smoke…**

Fat Guy: Well…here are your tools! **Pulls the tools from out of nowhere-then disappears along with the gas station**

John: I don't wanna know where these came from! **Looking at the tool he was handed**

Ringo: …-_-``

Duo: well lets get to work!

~1 hour later~

Wufei: It'll take us longer than an hour! Come back tomorrow!

~The next day~

Duo: That's more like it!

Ringo: Well, good as new!

John: Lets just hope the muffler doesn't fall off!

Paul: SH!

Duo: …well

George: we better get goen!

Quatre: On to…uh…where does the Pineapple live exactly?

Author: Page 7 guys…

(They all pull out a script and turn to page 7)

Duo: OH! Ok! Guys! **Saying words sharply but pausing in between each word…** I-got-this-letter…-from-the-pineapple-telling-us…-where-he-live s!

Wufei: how professional…

John: **Sigh**

Ringo: Well what's it say?

Duo: that he lives in L.A.

Ringo: That's not too bad…

John: nope…

Quatre: let's go!!

John: I HAVE SHOT-

Ringo: SHOTGUN!

John: Oh, bloody ell…

(Everyone but Ringo and Duo scramble for a moment looking for seats, Now Duo is driving, Ringo is in Shotgun, Quatre, Wufei, and John are in the in the middle row, and Paul and George are in the very back!)

~1/2 hour later~

Duo: Anyone want to listen to the radio?

All: SURE!

Duo: Ok! **Turns on radio-and it's a Beatles song** No…I had enough of that in the sub!

All: YUP! DID!

Duo: **changes channel only to get more Beatles songs** GAH! WHATS WITH THIS!? **Changes it again and yet more Beatles songs, and again, and again, and again!!** AHH! **Turns off radio** Stupid radio stations…

Ringo: It wasn't too bad…

All: -_-``

(They continue driving, past a sigh that said welcome to Nowhere, another that said you are now leaving Nowhere, and past a group of girls who all wink at the Beatles)

George: I'm always getting winked at these days…

All: …oi…

~Two hours later~

Duo: Look! There's another sign up ahead!

John: What's it say?

Ringo: I can't tell from here…

Wufei: HAHAHAHAHA!!! Your eyes are WEAK! I can see the sign!

Quatre: That's only because Duo stopped three feet away from it…

George: so, what does it say?

Paul: it says welcome to someplace…

Duo -_-``…oi…

Quatre: We mind as well keep driving…

~1 hour later~

Paul: **Sticks head out window** WEEEEEE!!

John: …stop that…

Paul: darn…I can never have any fun…

Duo: WOOO-HOOO!!

Wufei: **Blink**

Ringo: What the bloody ell did you do that for??

Duo: LOOK! L.A.!!!

All: YEA!!

~5 minutes later…they find the Pineapples house~

Pineapple: WELCOME!

Duo: …well, now…

(They all walk up to a house shaped like a Sponge)

Pineapple: Welcome to my humble home!

John: I don't think I can fit in the door…**Stairs at the tinny door** I'm too tall…

Pineapple: Then lets go out back! **Goes around the side of the house-everyone follows**

Ringo: -_-``

Pineapple: Feel free to have a seat!

(They all look down at very small chairs)

Paul: We'll just stand thanks…

Pineapple: Well! Getting to the point! Wait…what is the point?

Wufei: The old hag…**Rolls eyes**

Pineapple: OH! Ok! It all started when God sent you on a mission to find the old hag…So you went, crazy stuff happened! You crossed the bridge of death! **They all stair at the pineapple** Through mountainous tundra's! Through ragging storms! Through the black of night! For a good year or so, you have all been on a quest! A quest for the old hag!

George: Yeah…like we didn't know that…

Pineapple: Well, to make a long story short-

All: TOO LATE!

Pineapple: I know where you boys can find her!

George: Where? Do you have her?? **Starts looking around**

Ringo: George, the curious little monkey…

George: I'm not one of the Monkeys! I'm on of the Beatles!

Duo: -k- George…we know…just Mr. Pineapple? Where can we find her?

Pineapple: IN A CASTLE!

Quatre: …oh, God, is that all you needed to tell us?

Pineapple: NO! She is in the FRENCH tower…

Wufei: THAT'S ALL THE WAY BACK IN ENGLAND!!

Pineapple: NO IT ISN'T! They moved to America! They live just next door!

Duo: Cool!

John: …this story is getting a bit boring…

Paul: yup…

Duo: **Stairs at pineapple, in deep thought** hmmm…**Picks up the pineapple** HEY, JOHN! GO LONG! **Throws the Pineapple to John**

John: **catches it** WOOO! Fun! **Throws it to Paul**

Paul: **Holds the ball so Duo can kick it** Here!

Duo: **Kicks** YEA!

Pineapple: WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! **pings out of sight-then says from the distance** I'LL GET YOU BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Quatre: that was uncalled for…

Duo: oops…

Wufei: I'M GONNA 'OOPS' YOU IN A MINUTE!

Duo: GAH! **hides behind John**

John: …I didn't do it! I was just caught up in the moment…

Wufei: **Very peeved** GRRRR….

~They all walk over to the French Tower~

Duo: HELLO!

Quatre: …this won't end well…

(French guy pop's up)

French Guy: HELLO? OH! It's you again, is it? You sons of a silly person!

John: You've met him before, have you?

Wufei: oh, shut up…

French Guy: OH! And I see you have some new friends! Haw, haw, and haw!

Ringo: ……………

French Guy: And from what I can see that they are, for sure, silly English KNNNN-NIGUTS!

Beatles: …

Duo: Yeah, well, we were told that you have the old hag?

Wufei: Yup! Were!

French Guy: Haw, haw, and haw? I don know if she is being an old hag, but I'll go get her! **Loud noises are heard from inside the castle, and a very loud BOING sound-then a person in rags and chains is thrown over the wall of the castle, and lands in front of all of them.**

Duo: **Poke, poke** I think it moved…

John: is it alive?

'The Thing': **Muffled under the cloth** MUFF! MEFTU!

Ringo: **Pulls he cloth away to reveal…Relena!!! (DUN NA!)** Oh, bloody ell! It's a monster!!

Duo: Yup, sure is, Ringo…

Relena: **Hands cuffed behind her back** I AM NOT AN OLD HAG!!! WHERE IS HEERO? HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERROOO!!! WHERE ARE YOU HEERO!?

Wufei: **With fingers in ears and hair all messed up** Wow…a new record! 2 million decimals! Impressive!

Quatre: **Trying not to smile-being the kind person he is** ho boy…

Paul: Well, now that we're all deaf, Who is the real old hag?

George: what did you say, Paul?

Paul: nothing, nothing…

French Guy: So she no` the old hag? Hmmm… haw, haw…how about any of these?? **Loud BOING noise again**

(Michael Jackson, Trieze Khushranada, Dorothy, Sally, Hilde, Noin, and Une are seen flying over the French wall)

Duo: OH {CENSORED}!

Wufei: Me thinks me gonna` be sick!

John: duck and cover!

George: Stop drop and roll!

All: Wha??

George: nothing…

Noin: …I'm leaving, Milliardo's not here…**Walks off**

Dorothy: Me too! **follows Noin closely**

(Lady Une and Trieze walk off together)

All: …

Hilde: DUO!!! **Jumps for Duo-but John knocks Duo out of the way as Hilde falls down a pit the Duo was standing in front of** AHHH!!

Duo: **wipes forehead** few! That was close!

Sally: …**Walks away**

M.J.: Why was I drought here? I'm not a hag! **Walks away doing the moon walk**

Ringo: Frightening? Isn't it?

Paul: oh, yes…

Wufei: well a lot of help they were…

French Guy: well we do `ave one more person…but I don think she is the one you are looking for…

Quatre: what does she look like?

French Guy: Well, she is very ugly, you see. And she carries around a cat, which she smacks against a wall, from time to time…

Wufei: **Eyes glowing** THAT'S HER!

John: Sounds odd…

Ringo: …yup…

George: You mean they have her?

Duo: our journey is over…

(BOING-the old hag flies over the wall-and then the clouds open to reveal God**

God: Well done, pilots, and your friends too!

John: E-heh…

Paul: This is something you don't get to experience everyday…

Ringo: well, you're welcome…I think…

George: Yea…

Duo: Well here she is!

Wufei: Yea! WOOO!! IT'S OVER!

(God starts to ascend with the old hag into heaven)

Quatre: I can't believe it's over…

Duo: Yup…

(A large group of pineapples appear)

Pineapples: You heart our ancestor! **They all attack Duo-and then run away-leaving Duo with a black eye, and messed up hair…(Hey! What did you think a bunch of pineapples were going to do to a Gundam pilot? Kill him? THEY ARE ONLY PINEAPPLES!)**

Duo: …**holds ice pack to black eye**

Wufei: Well…

Paul: That was fun while it lasted!

John: Yeah, but what are we going to do now?

Ringo: We could watch a movie…

Duo: We can watch 'Help'!

George: …yup could…

Ringo: Stupid ring…

Wufei: Well lets go watch it!

Duo: OK!

Quatre: Wait! Aren't we forgetting something?

~The Scene changes to 'Tellitubby World', where you can see four horrible looking creatures named, Tinky Winky, Dipsy, La-la, and Po, with small pieces of cloth ripped from there bottoms…~

(The Po pulls of its mask to reveal a Minstrel, then the others do the same, and the background changes into a dark warehouse.)

Minstrel#1: we shall have revenge on those other Gundam pilots soon…but for now…**Pulls a sheet off of Heero, Trowa, and Milliardo.** these shall do…**Takes the small leather bag off of Milliardo's belt and releases the Minstrel inside it…(Remember the Minstrel from part 3? That Milliardo stuffed in a bag to shut up so they could go into the forest?…if you still don't remember, go look at part three…)**

Other 3 Minstrels: YES MY LORD!

Minstrel#5 (The one that was in Milliardo's bag): thank you…

Minstrel#1: WE SHALL HAVE OUR REVENGE!

Milliardo, Heero, and Trowa: WHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

~The scene changes back to where all the pilots and Beatles are~

All: OH, NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

THE END

Announcer Guy: And so, ends the story of Gundam Wing: And The Old Hag! Oh stop Crying! There will be a sequel! So! Be prepared!

Author: OK! Just to clarify some things about the story! The all knowing all doing Taco, the all doing Dragon, the stories plot, ending, beginning, middle and all in between are copyrights of mine. The Fat Guy and him gas station along with the Mystical Cactus was the original ideas and copyrights of Dewgong, used in her hilarious story, The Gundam Teams Day Off: The O's Evil Plan! Read it! It be funny! It's on this web site! Also The Gundam Team, any other anime, or other copyrights that may be used in this story such as Taco Bell, Tellitubbys and anything that may be material of Monty Python or the Beatles, such as the name Help…The names of the Beatles themselves and other copyright stuff do NOT belong to me! So please don't sue! So! I hope you enjoyed the story! Just for your info, it took me two years too get the whole thing done! WOOO!! It was fun! But now it's over! Oh, well…there are always sequels! So be sure to look for the story called: "And Now For Something Completely Insane!"

Duo: Coming to a theater near you, summer-fall, 2001!

Author: thank you Duo!

Paul: well, that was fun!

Author: Oh! That reminds me! The Beatles will continue to be in the sequel as well…but right now, since I've been working my tail off with this story, I'm gonna wait till school is out to write the sequel!

Wufei: I'm looking forward to it!

Quatre: sounds like fun!

John: Well…I guess this is the very end, huh?

Ringo: I guess so, mate…

George: Well…other than the cracks on my name, it was fun!

Author: And I hope you people out there reading, had as much fun reading it as I had writing it!

John: So good-bye everybody!

Paul: see ya next time!

Heero: **struggle** Help…

Milliardo: **struggle** I…

Trowa: **struggle** need…

Duo: o/` SOMEBODY! HELP!! NOT JUST ANYBODY! HELP!! o/`

John: Oh, bloody ell…

Paul: that wasn't right, Duo…

Ringo: Yes…very…

George: …yup…

Quatre: remember to look for Lizzy's up coming story!

Ringo: YEA! And remember what John and Paul used to say!

Author: Who? The apostles?

Ringo: NO! My good friends in the Beatles! ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE!!!

All: YEA!

Author: THANKS FOR READING!!

Finé