Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing: And The Old Hag ❯ Chapter 5 ( Chapter 5 )

Part V of:

Gundam Wing: And the Old Hag

Last time The Beatles had joined in the chase for the Old Hag. That adds four new people to the group…well, let see, how should I put this…well since there are four new people…add that to six…that equals uh….

Duo: you're not good at math are you?

Author: ¬-¬ funny…just give me a sec…

Ringo: there are ten of us…

John: oi vey…

Author: Heh-heh…well, now we have ten people with us! Lets just say that three of them were happy, three of them were peeved, and four of them were The Beatles…Now let's get on with it!

All: Ok…

The Beatles: Oi…

Announcer Guy: Getting on with the story, the boys and the Beatles-

The Beatles: Hey!

John: Why can't we be called 'The Boys'?

Ringo: Yeah! We're not that old!

George: …

Trowa: …

Announcer Guy: OK! THE BOYS were all finally at America!

Audience members: **Dully** Yea…

Announcer Guy: Specifically they landed in Massachusetts…And had just received a message from a Pineapple in California, saying that the Old Hag had been seen there. So they sent a lovely post card of thanks back to the pineapple, with a picture of all ten of them standing in front of a billboard that said 'Welcome to America'

Duo: Yeah!

Wufei: No Fish!

(Everyone stairs at Wufei)

Wufei: Never-mind…

Ringo: We better get goen` mates!

Heero: You know…this whole story started out as a two page parody of "The Holy Grail" now it's become 5 chapters worth of mayhem…

John: What the bloody ell does that have to do with anything?!

Duo: Absolutely nothing…

Heero: Whoops! I was thinking out loud again!

George (Whispering to Trowa): Does he do that a lot?

(Trowa nods)

Ringo: Does anybody know how we're getting to California?

Quatre: We could use the VW with GPS!

Heero: Wrong story…

~The scene changes to a Cactus in an outhouse~

Mystical Cactus: WOOO!! Anybody want a bean-borito?!

Author: GAH! NO!

~The scene changes back~

Duo: …

John: Who the {Censored}…

Ringo: Who knows mate…

Paul: I'm hungry!

Duo: That's my line!

Wufei: Always food…

George: …

Author: can we get on with the story??

Duo: yes…

Paul: it's just that-

Duo & Paul together: WE NEED FOOD!

Ringo: and a car…

John: and by the way…who the bloody ell was that cactus!?

Author: Ignore the Cactus!

John: …-k-…

Author: and here! **A big hand comes on screen and draws a VW Bug** There!

Paul: Ten people cannot fit in a VW Bug…

Author: A PT Cruiser then!

All: A what?

Author: A PT Cruiser! (Bug changes into PT Cruiser) It has a built in computer with Internet access and games! Also, built in radar on the windshield, and its all voice activated! The voice activation system hasn't been set yet, so whoever says something first to it will have to drive it…

(A man in a black suit comes on and hands the Author 2 million dollars)

Author: Heh-heh…

Duo: COOL BEANS!

Car: Voice activation mode completed.

John: Smooth move mate…

Quatre: now Duo has to drive…

Wufei: Ho, boy…

Duo: heh…

George: …

Ringo: We best be goen` now, mates.

John: He's right.

Paul: …**stomach grumbles** LETS GO!

Duo: Yeah, lets…**Gets it driver seat**

John: SHOTGUN!

Ringo: …ok mate, just I'm not sitting in the very back…

Paul: Who ever doesn't want to sit in the very back say 'not me'!

All besides George, Quatre, Heero, Trowa and Milliardo: NOT ME!!

Duo: Apparently only two people can sit in the back…but uh…Trowa? Heero? Milliardo?

Quatre: **Listening to music** what's going on?

John: You just bought yourself a ticket to the back seat with George!

George: …not me…

Ringo: Too late, mate…

Wufei: where is Trowa? And Heero? AND MILLIARDO!? THEY'RE ALL GONE!

Duo: Dur…I wonder…they could have run off so they wouldn't have to listen to Beatles music…

Quatre: well we have to find them…

Paul: FOOD FIRST!

Duo: YEAH!

John: Shut your bloody holes! You're making me hungry!

Ringo: Me too…

Wufei: …

George: …

Quatre: FINE!

~At the nearest Taco Bell~

Duo: I hate this place…**stairs at taco…**

Quatre: …that's no reason to hate a good fast food chain of restaurants…

Wufei: That made no sense, Quatre…

Beatles: **stairs at g-boys…or what 3 remain…**

John: **Smiles evilly, and walks up to order taker** I'll take one taco please…(5 seconds later) thank you…**Walks over to Duo** Hey, mate!

Duo: **stairs up at John** what?

John pulls out the Taco and shows it to Duo…

Duo: GAH! **Hides under table**

Quatre: **Chortle**

Ringo: Good one mate!

Paul: **laughing**

George: …**Smiles**

Wufei: **Looks under table** What the {censored} are you doing?

Duo: Hiding from the evil taco!

John: I think me gut's gonna` burst! **Laughs**

People in restaurant: @.@

Wufei: **still looking under table then kicks Duo** Get up!

Duo: OW! **Gets up**

People in restaurant: **laughing**

Quatre: I'm just gonna` leave now…**Runs away**

Paul: you've got the right idea! **follows Quatre**

Wufei: **Walks out** …

Ringo: this was the most exciting meal I've ever had…**walks out**

John: I agree…**follows**

George: …**walks out sipping a coke**

Wufei: **Walks back in, grabs Duo by the caller, and drags him out** how embarrassing…

Duo: **River eyes** Ow…

Ringo: Are we just going to forget about your friends?

Duo: Yes…

John: Wrong answer mate…

Quatre: Well lets get back…

~After a ride back to the place where they left the subs, Heero, Trowa, and Milliardo…~

Duo: Oh, look they're not here! Let's go!

Quatre: No…**Grabs Duo's caller**

Wufei: how are we going to find them?

Ringo: Simple really…just split up and meet back here in an hour.

John: **leans on Ringo's shoulder** The brains…**points at Ringo**

Paul: …

Ringo: **Smiles**

Wufei: sooooo…let's go…

Quatre: I've got the Scooby Snax!

John: …this ain't no episode of 'Scooby Do: Where Are You'…

Duo: lay off the TV shows Q-man…

Quatre: whoops…sorry…

Paul: We mind as well…

George: yup…best if we go now before it gets dark…

Duo: that's the most I've ever heard you say…

John (Still leaning on Ringo): But it will be dark in less that an hour, see **Holds up watch** it's almost 8:00!

Ringo: Then let split up into pairs!

John: The brain strikes again!

Wufei: Well, lets go…but how are we gonna` figure out who our partner is?

Quatre: Yeah!

Ringo: one person is going to have to stay behind, so if they come back you can keep them here.

George: I got it! **George turns around grabs some dead grass and cuts them so that there are pairs of different sizes accept for one that is an obscure size** Everybody take one!

(Everyone takes a piece)

Paul: looks like I've got to stay behind…

Duo: (Seeing if his matches Ringo's) Nope! (Walks over to John) Looks like you're my partner John!

John: oh, joy…

George (To Quatre): Looks like we're partners!

Duo: That leaves Wufei with Ringo!

Wufei: -_-``

Ringo: Ok! Let's go!

~The three pairs of people leave in different directions, just as night falls~

~Where Duo and John are~

Duo: Hey, John! What's that up ahead? It looks like its sparkling or something!

John: Yeah, it does! Let's go check it out.**Walks on and Duo follows**

Duo: It's getting bigger!

John: I wonder what it IS-!!!!!

SPLASH!

Duo: …**Sitting in a pond** well, we know what it is now…**Pulls a weed off head**

John: Yup…**Gets up**

~Where Quatre and George are~

George: …This wasn't the best way to go…

Quatre: Nope, I can't see a thing…

George: …Yeah this place is full of trees!

Quatre: GEORGE WHATCH OUT FOR THAT (THUB) tree…**They both run into trees**

George: ouch…

Quatre: Well, you're not George of the Jungle…

George: That's for sure…

~Where Wufei and Ringo are~

Ringo: Hey! I think I see something! **Looking behind a bush**

Wufei: What? **Looks**

Ringo: Looks like cloth…fore pieces…**picks up two pieces**

Wufei: hmmm…**Picks up the other two**

~One hour later~

John (Still soaking wet): did anybody find anything? **Holing up a flashlight**

Ringo: We found some torn cloth…**Holds his two up to the light**

Wufei: I didn't know they were different colors…**does the same as Ringo**

John: Well, now…

Quatre: **Still rubbing head** what do you suppose it means?

George: I dunno…

Duo: **River eyes** I'm all wet!

John: oh and I'm not…

Ringo: What happened to you?

Duo: A pond happened to us…

John: …bloody pond…

Duo: **Sees the bump on both Quatre and George's heads'** What about you?

Quatre: A tree…

George: …**Looks over at Paul and shakes head** Paul?

Paul: **Snore**

George: PAUL!!

Paul: ACH! WHAT?

Duo: …

Paul: I was sleeping…

Wufei: We could see that.

Paul: Well, did anyone find anything?

Duo: Yeah, Wufei and Ringo found torn colored cloth…

Wufei: Looks like mine are yellow and green…

Ringo: Mine are red and purple…

Quatre: this is odd…

John: I can't make any sense out of it…**Hits the side of his head to get water out of his ear**

Duo: why don't we just go to California? I mean, they're big boys'! They can take care of them selves!

Wufei: he's right…

Ringo: Well, let's go to California, mates!

John: I STILL HAVE SHOTGUN!

Paul: Blast…

Duo: Let's go!

(Everyone gets in the Car with Duo in the Drivers seat, John, well you know where he is…Wufei, Ringo, and Paul are in the middle seats; and Quatre and George are in the very back.)

~Somewhere in Boston~

Duo: {Censored} traffic…

Wufei: **Looking at a magazine; gets an idea, and starts cutting it with scissors, then shows it to Ringo**

Ringo: That's a bloody good joke! **Laughs**

Paul: what is it? Lemme see!

Wufei: **shows it to Paul**

Quatre: What the {Censored}?

John: **Turns around** Well now! Let me show that to Duo! **Takes it then shows it to Duo**

Duo: **Laughs** HA! **Duo is looking at a cut out of Mario**

George: It's paper Mario!

Quatre: …

(Another man comes up to Wufei and hands him 2 million dollars.)

Wufei: I love this job…**Smiles**

Duo: Hey! Car! You got a paper shredder?

Car: Paper shredder in full working order. **A paper shredder pops up on the dashboard**

Duo: heh- **Puts the paper Mario in the shredder** And that's how I defeated Paper Mario!

All: @.@

Wufei: My paper Mario…

~After they got out of Boston the traffic was better…who knew…and were headed for Kentucky~

Duo: Remind me, why we are going to Kentucky?

John: You'll find out…

~4 hours later~

Duo: I can't see strait…are we almost there?

Ringo: put your foot on the break pedal and you'll see…

(Duo stops the car)

Quatre: COOL BEANS!

Duo: …

Paul: what are we here for?

John: To get the rest of the script…it only covers to chapter 4…

Ringo: Oh…yeah.

(They all walk up to a small brick house and knock on the door-the Author answers the door)

Author: Guys…what do you want? I'm kinda busy typing…

John: Can we just get the rest of the script?

Author: Sure! **Hands them all scripts**

Duo: thanks!

Author: No prob.! **Runs back to computer and continues typing**

(Everyone gets back in the car)

George: It says we go strait to California…

(The car doesn't move)

Quatre: Well what are we waiting for?

Duo: That old guy to cross the road…**Points at an old man crossing the road**

Old Guy: I'm a-goen`! Don't get your panties in a twist…**Gets out of the way**

Ringo: that was disturbing…

(Everyone nods in agreement)

~One day later the boys were all in Dallas, Texas~

(Everyone besides Duo and Ringo are asleep)

Duo: **Yawn** Who's awake?

Ringo (Who has a pillow on his lap): I AM! **Raises hand and the pillow flies into he back of the car hitting Quatre in the face-he immediately wakes up**

Quatre: Davie Croquet! Remember the Alamo! Huh?

Ringo: …sorry, mate…

~They continue driving through Texas~

Announcer Guy: Just to clear things up a little here…John's driving…but as you now, he can't command the car, so Duo is in the passenger side seat…Quatre, Paul, and George and now in the middle row of seats and Wufei and Ringo are in the very back…And just to let you know, everyone was awake…

Author: Ok…now that you know the seating arrangement…we can get on with the story!

Announcer Guy: OK! Continuing with our boy's in the Pt Cruiser, a year past. Through the harsh winter! Winter turned to Spring, That into Summer, then into Fall, and strait back to winter-but then winter gave spring and summer a miss, and went strait into autumn!

~Somewhere near California~

Duo: **Sigh** boredom…

Paul: Are we there yet?

John: No…

Paul: Are we there yet?

John: No…

Paul: Are we there yet?

John: No…

Paul: Are we there yet?

John: No…

Paul: Are we there yet?

John: No…

Paul: Are we there yet?

John: No…

Paul: Are we there yet?

John: No!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **Turns around and tries to strangle Paul, just as the car hits a big sign that says: Welcome to California! **

George: We're there…

TO BE CONTINUED…

Announcer Guy: What will happen to our three missing friends? Will the remaining members of the gang find the old hag? And what do those pieces of cloth mean? Find out on the next and final episode of 'Gundam Wing: And The Old Hag'!!!

You, can, uhhhh… review my story now…

So I'm just going to submit this fic right n-