Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ Gundam Wing in the Wild Wild West ❯ New Digs ( Chapter 13 )

So I found out if I skip that whole sleeping thing, I can get all kinds of writing done. But I have this nagging feeling that this might not be a good idea in the long term.

-o-o-o-o-

Chapter 13: New Digs

“He wants how much to fix his dining room?!” Treize exclaimed. “That's ridiculous! It's just a little bit of broken glass!”

“But glass is much harder to come by in this era,” Trowa pointed out reasonably. “He probably has to have it shipped here.”

“I still say he's gouging us.”

“Probably, but it's better to buy back his good will. We don't want to get kicked out of the hotel until we've found a place.”

“It's ok, Uncle Treize, we have lots of money.”

“I know, but that's not the point. It's the principle of the thing.”

“Don't worry about it, Treize,” Quatre said. “We found a couple of interesting house prospects in the paper. There are a few places that sound like they might be nice not too far from here. Trowa and I were planning to check them out tomorrow. Does anyone else want to go?”

“I would like to go,” Hadeya said.

“It sounds interesting,” Zechs said. “Count me in. What about you, Treize?”

“Well, ah,” Treize cleared his throat sheepishly. “I was chatting with Hieronymus on the way back.”

“I noticed.”

“And I was thinking that it might be a good idea if I accompanied him up to Napa Valley to look over this vineyard. I know quite a bit more about the business than Hieronymus. I can make sure he's not getting duped.”

Zechs frowned. “Oh?”

“I just want to check it out. I'm not planning to get too involved.”

“He sounds like he's making excused,” Wu-Fei muttered to Duo.

“And Zechs isn't buying it,” Duo whispered back.

Zechs continued to frown at Treize. “I am quite sure that letting you go up there alone is a bad idea.”

“I wouldn't be alone,” Treize said brightly. “I'd be with Hieronymus!”

“Somehow, a politician and a gambler alone together making a business deal sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.”

“I just want to be there to give Hieronymus the benefit of my sage advice.”

“Oh, really?”

“Really!”

Zechs lifted an eyebrow.

Treize hung his head. “I already told him I'd go.”

“I think perhaps I'd better go with you.”

Treize brightened. “That's great! Just imagine…” He slipped an arm around Zechs' waist. “The two of us alone on a hillside in the moonlight with fields of grapes spreading out in all directions. Opportunities for romance abound.”

“And where will Hieronymus be during this imagined tryst?”

“Who cares?” Treize put his lips next to Zechs' ear. “I'll find ways to get you alone in such a romantic setting,” he whispered.

Zechs pursed his lips to keep from smiling. “I see. Well, it seems like you have this all planned out. But what about Alexa?”

“May I stay here with Roku and Jett, Mommy?” Alexa immediately piped up. “I don't want to miss Jett growing up.”

“Very well,” Zechs agreed. “You can stay here. But I think we shouldn't leave until after we've moved out of the hotel. Otherwise, how will we know where to find the others later?”

“I'll tell you,” Duo volunteered. “Since I know you guys pretty well, I can probably violate your minds over that distance.”

“Excuse me?”

Duo chuckled. “I'll think at you. I'm sure you'll hear me.”

“Oh.”

“Well, now that that's settled,” Duo said, “where are we going to eat dinner? The hotel dining room's out.”

“Let's go down to the waterfront,” Trowa suggested. “I hear there's a really great Mexican restaurant there.”

“Last time we went down there we nearly got shanghaied,” Heero muttered.

“And you had a great time,” Duo pointed out.

Heero smirked. “Yeah, that fight was pretty good.”

“Maybe you'll get in another one.”

Heero brightened considerably. “You think so?”

“It's a rough area. I'm sure there are all kinds of thugs waiting to jump innocent people.”

Heero rubbed his hands together. “Let's go to the waterfront.”

On the way out of the hotel, Quatre gave the owner a bag of gold coins. The weight of the gold in his hand improved the gentleman's disposition considerably.

The next morning, the group found themselves in the not-closed-for-repair dining room of a neighboring hotel explaining to Hieronymus Gree why everyone except Duo, Quatre and the kids looked like they had been in a fight.

“Who knew a Mexican restaurant could run out of tortillas?” Duo was saying.

“They might not have if you and Roku hadn't started that flauta eating contest,” Quatre grumbled.

“But their flautas were really good, Mama!”

“I'm not arguing that, but did you have to eat every scrap of food in the restaurant?!”

“Is that what started the fight?” asked Hieronymus.

“It wasn't a fight; it was a brawl,” Quatre corrected. “And my restrained companions were right in the middle of it.”

Hieronymus sighed sadly. “I'm sorry I missed it. There's nothing like a good brawl.”

“It was kind of fun,” Zechs admitted. Of the group, he looked to have fared the best.

“That's because no one would hit you in the face!” Heero snapped.

“Is that my fault?” Zechs said with a beautiful smile. He tossed his silver hair back over his shoulder. “I was only trying to convince the gentlemen to stop fighting.”

“By flirting with them and then punching them in the gut when they were distracted!”

“Every man has his own technique in a fight.”

“So how did it end?” Hieronymus asked. “Did the police show up?”

“No, actually,” Quatre cleared his throat, “a series of, ah, unexpected events occurred which brought the fighting to a close.”

“Oh?”

“Someone threw chili powder in Papa Wu-Fei's face!” Roku chuckled.

“Why would that stop the fight?” Hieronymus stared from one to the other curiously.

“Well…” said Quatre.

“Because it made him sneeze!”

“He sneezed?”

“Yup!” Roku chortled gleefully. “He shot fire clear across the room.”

“Shot fire…” Hieronymus stared in confusion.

“Roku!” Quatre said sharply.

“Oh, what does it matter?” Duo interrupted. “Hieronymus is practically like family now.” He grinned at the befuddled gambler. “Wu-Fei can breathe fire and he can't control it when he sneezes. It was hysterical. He started about fifteen fires all at once. People were screaming trying to put their clothes out and the waitresses were trying to stop the tables from burning.”

“The restaurant burned down?!” Hieronymus exclaimed.

“No. Our resident sorcerer Quatre here called up a thunderstorm inside the restaurant and started a torrential downpour. Put the fires out in seconds. After that, no one felt like fighting anymore.”

Hieronymus stared.

“Duo!” Quatre groaned.

“Why pretend?” Duo said cheerfully. “I'm sure Hieronymus has noticed by now that I'm not a girl anymore.”

“Well, in fact,” Hieronymus began uncertainly. “I had wondered…”

“We're sort of magical,” Duo admitted. “But it's nothing to worry about. Our gold is real.”

Hieronymus blinked for a moment and then grinned. “That is what's most important, after all,” he agreed. “Well, then, about this trip up to Napa Valley…”

“Treize and I will be accompanying you,” Zechs said.

“Both of you? That's wonderful! I've made arrangements for a wagon and horses. We can take the ferry across the bay.”

“Very good,” Treize said. “We can leave anytime once we get our things from the hotel.”

“Perfect! Why don't we go now?” Hieronymus' eyes were sparkling. “We can catch the noon ferry and be half-way to our destination by nightfall.”

“All right.” Zechs picked up Alexa and gave her a warm kiss. “Be a good girl and listen to Quatre.”

“Yes, Mommy.”

Treize kissed Alexa, too, and then he, Zechs and Hieronymus left.

“How come Zechs told Alexa to listen to Quatre?” Duo complained. “I'm a mother, too! Why not me?”

“Because I'm sensible,” Quatre said.

“What?! I can be sensible!”

“Of course you can.”

“Quit patronizing me!”

“Shall we go house-hunting now?” Trowa suggested.

“Yes, please,” Wu-Fei said.

“Two of the places we want to look at are being managed by the same agency,” Trowa said. “We should go to their office first and get someone to take us on a tour.”

“That's a good idea.”

The real estate agency had a small office in the downtown area. When they arrived, everyone else waited outside while Quatre and Trowa went inside to inquire about the houses they were interested in. After only a few minutes, the pair came back out with a middle-aged woman wearing a large flowered hat with a leather satchel clutched under one arm.

“How do you do?” she greeted the others. “I'm Mrs. Pomfrey. I am looking forward to showing you the fine properties we have available. We offer only the very best to a select clientele, so I'm sure we will have something to suit your needs. Please follow me!” She led the way to the corner at a brisk walk, where they then waited for public transportation to take them to their first destination.

The first house they looked at was quite a bit smaller than they wanted.

“We need something larger, Mrs. Pomfrey,” Trowa explained. “There are two more gentlemen in our family, so we need a place with quite a few bedrooms.”

“And with a good-sized bathroom,” Wu-Fei added. “We enjoy regular bathing.”

“Well…” Mrs. Pomfrey mused. “There is a much larger home available. It's not on the list you showed me, but…” She offered them a disturbingly bright smile. “But perhaps you will find it suitable. This way!” She led them back to the public transportation.

After a short ride and then a quick climb up a rather steep hill, they stopped outside a large, beautiful three-storey house on a corner, with exquisite molding and large bay windows.

“What do you think?” Mrs. Pomfrey asked brightly. “Beautiful, isn't it?”

“It looks perfect, Mrs. Pomfrey,” Trowa replied, “but it must be very expensive.”

“Well, um, as to that, you'll find it is quite reasonable. The previous owner had to, ah, leave unexpectedly and left the house with our agency to lease.” She blinked at them with a toothy smile. “Shall we go in?” She produced an ornate key from her satchel and led them up the wide, curved steps to the front door, which faced toward the corner, rather than to either street.

She entered the house hesitantly, but as Trowa stepped across the threshold behind her his staff, draped across his chest as usual, uttered an audible hiss. Trowa stopped in his tracks.

“What's the matter, Trowa?” Quatre inquired nervously, eyeing the snake-like staff.

“There are spirits in this house,” Trowa responded thoughtfully.

Evil spirits reside in this house.

“What?!” Duo squeaked. He snatched his knife from inside his shirt, where he kept it behind his back tucked in the top of his trousers. “Did you just say something?” he demanded of the knife. Its jeweled handle glittered ominously.

This house is occupied by spirits that wish no good will to living things.

Duo stared at the knife and then looked up at the house suspiciously. Everyone else stared at Duo.

“Did your knife say something?” Wu-Fei asked. “It hasn't talked to you for a while.”

“It says the house is haunted by evil spirits.” Duo stared accusingly at Mrs. Pomfrey. “Do you care to elaborate?”

Mrs. Pomfrey paled and she managed a weak laugh. “Well, now, as it happens, there were a few unfortunate incidents in this house, deaths and maybe a murder or two, and now superstitious people think the house is haunted.” She laughed weakly again. “But, of course, educated people don't believe in such things, right?” She favored them with a sickly grin.

“Mrs. Pomfrey,” Trowa said gravely, “is this house on the market because it is haunted and no one will live in it?”

“Well, ah…”

“It is,” Duo stated with finality. He glared at Mrs. Pomfrey. “There have been three murders and six unexplained deaths in this house, at least two of which are attributed to ghosts.”

Mrs. Pomfrey stared at him. “Uh… How do you know that?”

“You're thinking it!” Duo snapped. “She's trying to palm this place off on us because we're from out of town.”

“Now, sir!” Mrs. Pomfrey held up placating hands. “I'll give you a very reasonable price to make up for the, ah, less desirable features of the house.”

“Murdering ghosts?! Less desirable features?!” Heero exclaimed.

“Well, you see,” Mrs. Pomfrey explained quickly, “we've had a lot of trouble with this property. Quite honestly, we'd like to sell it, but no one's interested. I'm sure, with this many people in the house, there won't be any incidents. In the past, problems have only occurred when only one person was inside.” She waved them toward the door. “Why don't you come in and look around? It's a beautiful home and it has been well maintained, despite the circumstances. It comes fully furnished!” She managed another toothy smile.

“Well, we may as well look around,” Wu-Fei decided. “Quite frankly, I am not the least bit afraid of ghosts.” He marched purposefully through the front door.

“Oh, why not?” Quatre said and he followed Wu-Fei inside.

The others all followed suit.

“Wow!” Duo exclaimed. “What a gorgeous house!”

“Didn't I say it was beautiful?” Mrs. Pomfrey said quickly.

Everyone stood staring inside the gracefully appointed entryway. Two stories tall and paneled in polished cherry, stained glass windows above the front door shed colored light on an enormous, glittering chandelier hanging above their heads. A wide staircase at the rear of the entryway on the left led to the second floor. There was a closed door opposite the front door near the foot of the staircase. Arched openings to the left and right led into the front rooms. The one on the right appeared to be a formal living room, although the furniture was all covered with dust cloths. The room on the left had the look of a more relaxed sitting room. A dust cloth covered shape that looked like a grand piano could be seen sitting in front of the bay window.

Trowa's staff hissed again. “Interesting,” Trowa murmured. “There are no animal spirits here. They all appear to be human. Or at least they were human once.”

There was a loud thumping sound from somewhere upstairs.

“Noisy humans, apparently,” Heero growled. “We'll have to put a stop to that. I refuse to be kept awake at night by a stupid ghost.”

A loud bang greeted this statement. Mrs. Pomfrey started backing toward the door.

Hadeya looked around nervously. “You speak as if you already mean to dwell here, Father.”

“We might as well,” Heero grunted. “It's the right size and in a good location.”

“I want to see the bathroom first,” Wu-Fei said. “I want indoor plumbing.”

“And we should make sure the kitchen is adequate,” Quatre added.

“Mrs. Pomfrey,” Wu-Fei said, “quit sneaking out the door and show us around. We may take this place off your hands if we like it.”

Encouraged, Mrs. Pomfrey took a deep breath and put on her best sales face. “Very well! If you'll all follow me, the kitchen is this way.” She opened the door at the foot of the stairs.

In the end, they decided to lease the house, despite the frequent thumps, bangs and occasional clanking sounds ringing from different parts of the building. Mrs. Pomfrey looked hugely relieved as she hurried down the hill with the signed contract tucked safely in her satchel.

“I sure hope this isn't a mistake,” Quatre said.

“Oh, how bad can it be?” Duo laughed. “She practically gave us the place for free. If we fumigate it of ghosts for her, she's getting a good deal.”

“And just how do you plan to get rid of the ghosts?” asked Heero.

“We could hold a séance and find out who they are. Then we could just ask them to get the hell out.”

A loud crash echoed down the stairs.

“Hey!” Duo shouted. “The shit in here belongs to us now! You better quit breaking things or we're gonna have words!”

A deep, hollow laugh made the walls shudder.

“That's it!” Duo exclaimed. He handed Jett to Hadeya. “Come on Roku! Put your fur on! We're going ghost hunting!” The two of them bounded up the stairs.

Alexa moved next to Hadeya and took his hand. “Is it gonna be ok, big brother?”

“I'm sure it will be fine,” Hadeya said in a soothing voice, but his eyes were a little round.

“Trowa,” said Quatre, “do you mind staying here and keeping an eye on things? The rest of us will go back to the hotel and get our stuff. Try not to let Duo wreck the house.”

Trowa chuckled. “I'll do my best.” He lifted his staff off over his head and straightened it with a deft motion. “I think I'll see what sort of spirits I can summon up that might help us encourage the locals to move on.”

As Quatre and the others left, Hadeya looked back nervously. “Are you sure it is a good idea to live in a house occupied by evil spirits, Uncle Quatre?”

“It'll be fine, Hadeya. If it gets too bad, I'll let Roku use big magic to take care of it. Remember, he did put the world and Asgard back together after Ragnarok. I daresay a couple of ghosts won't be a problem.”

When they returned to the house a couple of hours later, they found Trowa sitting in the middle of the entryway with his staff across his knees.

“What are you doing?” Quatre asked.

“Communing. I learned some helpful techniques from Speaks-with-the-Wind for summoning cleansing spirits. My staff and I have managed to get some of the more foul-tempered ghosts to disappear.”

“Disappear?”

“Well,” Trowa looked sheepish. “I didn't really plan it this way, but I sort of got a couple of them devoured.”

“Devoured?! By what?”

“I think it's better if I don't say. Hadeya looks worried.”

Hadeya was staring around with eyes that appeared to be mostly pupil.

“Hadeya,” Heero exclaimed, exasperated, “you lived with spirits in Valhalla! Why have these ones got you spooked?”

“The men in Valhalla were flesh and blood! I do not mind creatures with solid bodies, no matter what skills or powers they might have, for as a demigod, I am immune to most enchantments. But creatures of pure spirit frighten me. Those gods of Asgard whom I have known to be killed were most commonly destroyed by spirits.”

Trowa stood up. “Don't worry, Hadeya. I expect we'll have this place cleared up soon enough. I haven't heard Duo or Roku much lately. It was quite a ruckus up there for a while.” Even as he spoke, Duo and Roku came trotting down the stairs.

“Hey!” Duo called. “I thought you were back.”

“So what have you been up to?” Heero demanded.

“We've got most of them bottled up in the attic right now.” Duo giggled. “They're not used to getting chased. Especially not by a magical tiger who can actually catch them. You should have heard the squealing. It was pretty funny.”

“So they're still up there?”

“Not all of them. A few got away and are still sneaking around the house. But we'll get them.”

Roku grinned. “They taste kind of weird. Like wet dust.”

Quatre put a hand over his face. “Please tell me you weren't eating ghosts!”

“I didn't eat them. I just mouthed them a little bit. They make funny noises when I do that.”

“That's just not right,” Wu-Fei muttered.

“Shall we pick bedrooms now?” Duo suggested. “And are we going to eat here tonight or go out?”

“Let's go out,” Quatre said. “I don't want to go shopping today.”

“We could go back to that Mexican place.”

“I think that would be a phenomenally bad idea.”

“Too bad. The food was really good.”

“I think we should wreck a different restaurant tonight.”

“You say that like we wreck every place we eat!”

“Our track record isn't that good right now, if you think about it.”

“He has a point,” Trowa put in. “Anyway, I'd like to try a French restaurant.”

“French?” Quatre's ears perked up.

“No way!” Duo exclaimed. “They serve tiny little portions on great big plates and expect you to be happy that they drizzled some sauce around it.”

“Not all French places are like that. Anyway, we'll just find a place that serves lots of courses. Then you won't mind if the individual servings are a little small, right?”

“I guess.”

“That settles it. Let's wash up and then it will be time for dinner.”

“Do you notice that we spend a lot of our time planning our next meal?” Wu-Fei remarked to Heero.

“We have to,” Heero responded, “with Duo and Roku in the family.”