Gundam Wing Fan Fiction ❯ GWvsSM ❯ Return of Tuxedo Melvin ( Chapter 13 )

Chapter 13: The Return of Tuxedo Melvin

With all the Sailor Scouts destroyed. The Gundam team was successful in yet another battle. However, with Quatre under the influence of the Zero System, their chances of getting off the planet Earth… with Trowa in one piece seemed slim.

Treize Khushrenada, arrived to Earth in hopes of finding his idol, but to no avail. Now we sits, awaiting the end of this gruesome battle…

"Dear GAWD!!! He has some sort of iron grip on his neck!!!" Duo whinced trying to pry Quatre's small hands from Trowa's neck.

"Get a lead pipe or something and knock the hell out of him!!!" Zechs shouted.

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIYAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!"

Quatre backhanded Wufei, knocking him into a fire hydrant. He tossed Heero overhead and against a wall. Quatre bit down on Zechs' arm, causing him to run off and cry. He headbutted Duo, knocking him against the bench, causing Trieze to spill his wine.

"Damn it!!!" Trieze cursed. "Do you know how long it takes Lady Une to get wine stains out of the space suit?!?"

"OH! Sorry!" Duo snapped in sarcasm. "Didn't mean to disturb your peaceful moment!"

"It's quite alright!"

"Grrr."

At a downtown bus top.

"Oh man! I hope I'm not late! I gotta save the Sailor Scouts!!!" Melvin huffed dashing off the bus and towards the intersection. "I better put on my costume! He suggested to himself as he took his business within a nearby phone booth.

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Its been nearly 30 minutes, and Quatre is still choking the life out Trowa. The team has been beaten senseless by either Quatre's feet or one hand. One hand NEVER leaves Trowa's neck. They don't know which is more unbelievable: Quatre's super human abilities, or Trowa's super human ability to retain consciousness with out oxygen.

"It's hopeless!!!" Duo sighed. "We're never gonna save Trowa!"

Heero staggered to his feet and took out his gun. "Then we kill them both!" He got ready aim, when suddenly he looked down the street and said, "You gotta be kidding me! He's alive!?" He changed his aim and got ready to shoot-- "ACK!!! What the hell!!?" he shouted at Treize who slapped the gun out of his hand with his sword.

"I'm sorry, but the one who can end ALL battles is here."

"The geek with the swirly glasses?"

"He's not a geek! He's a god!"

"….what ever! He's dead meat!"

Tuxedo Melvin was ready for battle. The enemy had a helpless citizen in a choke hold. The guy in the space suit waved at him. It's Trieze, he must be held hostage, too. They are probably gonna hurt him next! Can't let that happen! Say, the blonde choking the life out of the innocent citizen is kinda cute! Cuter than Molly and Usagi put together…. Must touch her butt. That Chinese guy looks like a fighter. That guy with the long hair, has WAY too much hair! That kid in the spandex looks cranky! He must be the leader. Better take him out first! Say that Blonde has an older sister! Sweeet! She's kinda big, better beat her up first, then touch her butt! Alright!!! You can do this Melvin!!! No!!!! Tuxedo Melvin!!!!!

"Ack! Taste the wrath of Tuxedo Melvin!!!!" He shouted running at the Gundam team.

Treize ran out of the way and watched the carnage.

Heero fired the gun, but the bullet bounced off Melvin's thick swirly glasses and hit Heero in the shoulder. The impact caused Tuxedo Melvin to trip over his own oversized cape and fall into the sidewalk bench. The bench went flying into Heero's head----SMASH!!!!

"UUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!" Heero sounded as the bench hit his jaw, rendering him OUT COLD.

"That's rare…." Duo spoke, scratching his head. He took hold of Heero's gun and started to fire.

Tuxedo Melvin fell, after tripping and his cane went flying at Duo's neck! As Duo collapsed, Melvin staggered to his feet. He staggered over towards Quatre. The gum at the bottom of his shoe stuck to Duo's braid and dragged him across the street.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAck!!!!" Duo yelled. "My fucking hair!!!!"

Tuxedo Melvin tried to unstick the gum from his shoe. As he bent over he bumped his rear into Wufei's stomach, before he could attack. When he tried to stand up and apologize, his the back of his head struck Wufei in the nose and rendered him unconscious.

"Funny, he must've been tired." Melvin wondered as her looked at Wufei. Ignoring Duo's screams he made his way towards the helpless citizen. "I'll save you!!"

As he shot his arm up to pose, his hand smashed into Zechs' eye.

"AAAAAH DAMN!!!!!" Zechs yelled. "You dirty bastard!!!"

"What?" He turned around smacking Zechs with his oversized caped, entangling him. "Hey!!! That's my cape!!! Oh well!"

He unhooked the caped, causing Zechs' struggles to lead him towards a nearby brickwall. He threw himself into the wall, knocking himself unconscious.

"Oooh that looks bad!" he gasped. He stared over at the Golden Eye beauty that cackled before him and swooned, "Aaaah! Must touch butt!"

"?!!?!?" Quatre stared. He snarled, "What are you looking at, fool!!!"

"oh----st----op------le----me----ACK!!!" Trowa begged through short gasps.

Tuxedo Melvin rant towards Quatre, dragging Duo along, and into a trash can, knocking him out cold as well. His hair was covered with gum.

Quatre swatted at Melvin, knocking him across the street.

"Aren't you a feisty girl!!!" he coughed. As he staggered towards the two pilots, he tripped over his slightly oversized shoe and hit the fire hydrant. The side valve, was conveniently weaken due to Wufei colliding with it. It burst open and water went streaming out. It hit Quatre in the back and slammed him into a brickwall, face first.

"UUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunguuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh!!!!!" Quatre wailed as he went out cold, sliding down the wall and landing with a wet thud.

Trieze clapped his hands, "Well done!"

Tuxedo Melvin blushed, "AW! It was nothing! No really I didn't mean to hurt them!"

Trowa staggered to his feet and started to take deep breaths. "I thought I was a gonner." He looked over to Tuxedo Melvin and stared at all the comatosed pilots. "I don't care how you did it! I want to thank you for saving me." He extended his hand for a shake.

As Tuxedo Melvin walked to shake his hand he tripped over Heero's head and fell against Trowa. The Heavy Arms pilot was knocked back and fell upon Duo, twisting his ankle, fracturing his leg… and giving him a nasty boo-boo on the back of his head…..

Trowa passed out…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ < p>Days later at the PeaceMillion, the GW Boys found themselves at the infirmary. Sally, Noin, and Relena were tending to them.

"I can't believe you guys didn't come back without any food!" Sally huffed. She glared at the heavily bandaged Wufei and added, "So what happened with you and Raye? Did she cut up and leave?"

Wufei's head hurt too much to even yell or snicker at her choice of words. He continued to glare at her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ < p>Noin walked up to Heero and sighed, "I hope Zechs is alright. After the White Fang reported finding him with a broken leg, cracked skull, and cranial swelling, I thought he was a goner." She rubbed Heero's head, which was the only body part NOT encased with a pink body cast.

"OmEREREaeWOEWOEoEWEWEkuroso!" Heero yelled back at her, his jaw was wired shut. Whatever he muttered, it didn't sound nice.

Noin cautiously walked away…

Relena waltzed up to Heero and chirped, "Oh, he's just happy that we found him and his little friends. Now I can take good care of him."

"MMoRPHmaeFRMoPHZSkuOOroOPHso!!!!"

Relena blushed, "How romantic!!!"

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Duo was crying his ass off, as he felt the top of his head and felt nothing. The doctors managed to encase the broken collar bone, the arms, and leg, but they could not save his braid that was SO entangled with bubble gum it had turned pink!!!

"I look like a fucking skinhead!!!! I can't go walking the outside like this!!! The girls will NEVER want me again!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH-WAAAAAAAH…"

Heero just stared at the DeathScythe pilot and groaned. How the Hell did he go walking out before? He thought to himself. I'll get that Tuxedo Melvin, I swear it! He's a dead geek!

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Quatre looked over to Trowa who had a trach, and was now REALLY mute. Despite being in an back brace and being connected to serious pain killers, he couldn't help but feel sorry for his best frin.

"Oh, friend Trowa. I wish I could help you, but the doctors said that the medication I'm on prohibits me from walking, driving, and other regular activities…"

"……" The mummified Trowa gurgled through the tube lodged in his throat.

"What are you saying, Trowa? I'd never do that!"

"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I swear, I'll kill you, Quatre! You white-faced rat! When this body is healed, voice or no, I WILL KILL YOU!!!!! Trowa yelled in his head.

Of course Quatre can understand everything via Space Heart….

"Kill me? But why?"

"!!!!!!!!!" You're a dead girly-boy, Quatre!!! I'm gonna rip your head off!!!!! You're gonna DIIIIIIIIIE!!!!

"That's not nice! Why are you yelling at me?!!!"

"!!!!!!" When this leg heals, it will be shoved up your ass so far….

Quatre started to cry, "Oh dear Allah!!! Someone keep him away from me!!!! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

~~~~~~

As the madness at the infirmary continued, Howard, who remained at the Main Deck of the Peacemillion, received a message from the newly reformed OZ. It was an all out signal to all from the new leader.

"Uhm, Hello! It is I, Tuxedo MELVIN! The NEW leader of OZ. I just want to tell the colonies, the White Fang, and the Gundam Pilots that…. Er…uhm…"

Trieze' voice could be heard from the background, " Resistance is futile!"

Melvin continued, "R-resistance is futile. You shall ALL surrender to me! The NEW leader of OZ. I, Tuxedo Melvin has been chosen by his excellency, to end ALL wars and bring peace to all…. Starting with the execution of the Gundams! HA! Ha! Ha!"

"This is the guy that kicked the pilots' butts??" Howard lowered his head and sighed. "Man, we're in deep shit."

Back at the OZ headquarters…. At the Mobile Suit construction area

"Wow!!! This Goddamn looks just like me!!!" Tuxedo Melvin gasped.

Treize smiled, "All in honor of you, your Perfectness!" He went to his leader's ear and added, "It's called a Gundam. What would you like to call it, sir?"

An evil sparkle went off in his eye and he grinned, "I'll call it: MELVINO!!!"

Treize stared at him strangely, "Excellent….. (I think…)"

LOOKS LIKE THAT WON'T BE THE LAST OF TUXEDO MELVIN!!! WHAT WILL THE CRIPPLED GW-Pilots DO?!??!

THE END?!?!?